Watch What Crappens - #3002 RHOSLC S601 Part One: The Mer Witch Project

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!Lisa Barlow is missing in the premiere of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, but the ladies soldier on for a road trip to find a serial killing ghost. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good, looking gorgeous today as usual, my little friend. Well, thank you.

Everybody, welcome to the show today is a very important day. It's a very special time in our lives because it is the premiere, the season premiere of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. If you want to watch this recap on video, join us over at Patreon for Crappens On Demand, That's also where we do our bonus episodes. We've got a few new trailer or a couple new trailer trashes up over there. So go check that out. They're for Real Housewives of Potomac and Below Deck Med.

And coming this week, probably Wife Swap. I don't know, the Bravo Wife Swap thing. Who knows? Is there a trailer? I'm not sure there's a trailer for that. I think it's not there was. We can look. It might just be a lot.

Well, then I don't know what we're going to do. But it's going to be something amazing. So go over there. Also, Monday night is crappy hour at 530 Pacific. time over on Patreon for free, YouTube for free, or Instagram for free. Okay. And thanks for being here. What do you think of the season premiere, Ben? Oh, it's so silly. I mean, I laughed. Salt Lake City is the only Housewives show that can have a premiere like this. Like, kind of heavily produced, stupid, you know, this, like a cliffhanger that's not even a cliffhanger.

Like, we're supposed to believe they're getting lost in the woods and are going to be attacked by a ghost. that's it's ridiculous like this is it was like it was like a blatantly stupid premiere and it was so funny like they're the only show that can do this like normally you know me i would get mad i'll get in a tizzy like this scripted bullshit but it was it was good and um uh lisa not being there i just read a an article in the hollywood reporter that uh was an interview with um among other people the showrunner for Salt Lake City and also an executive at Bravo. And they were like, yeah, you know, like the question was whether or not Lisa wasn't there because she hadn't signed on yet.

It was a question whether or not she's going to come back. They're like, no, I mean, you know, you know, we really do think that she had to work. I mean, if she chose, you know, could she have moved her work trip, like maybe, but that was her choice. And, you know, it allowed the women to all talk about her without her being there in a way that they wouldn't have normally been able to. and I think we'll see the ramifications of it throughout the season. I was like, okay, Bravo is going to punish her all season long for skipping the opening trip.

Got it. What did you think? Another Lisa Barlow villain edit, which I love because she makes it so easy, too. You know, I mean, even in the clips they showed. Although the clips they showed today were pretty unfair because they show clips of Lisa being evil and telling people off and having an opinion. But it's all in retaliation as shit they started. So, team Lisa, thank you. team Lisa Barlow team baby you got to show up you got to show baby gorgeous you got to show up for

the cast trips otherwise production will always get their revenge if you are not doing what they want they're going to find a way to make you look bad so you got to play not only that but it shows that they can do the show without you you know and that's not that's never good that's that's really backpired and it's blown up in people's faces many times when they're like I don't I'm not going to go and then they're like oh it was still entertaining without you by we're not going to pay you your you know zillion dollars a year or whatever they i mean it's not a zillion it's housewives but still we're not going to pay you that money so don't do it be careful baby gorgeous i need you in my life so here we start i loved it i mean i died laughing the whole time i thought it was hilarious

you know and everybody came back kind of ready to go like with the old season's fights but you know kind of on a new heather's doing that look at me i'm just innocent heather what she does every season like what i didn't hear that you know she does her and then heather's the biggest hokey producer you know because she's the one who's like let's make a whole blair witch episode you know so yeah she's they have that she's clearly like yeah she's clearly like had our fingerprints all over this stupid premise for this episode yes uh whitney you know we see we see everybody setting up their ham-handed seasons we see everybody trying their their sweet innocent act for the first So Bronwyn coming back, just acting like, look at me, just fun-loving girl, you know.

Loved it. I thought it was great. Mary complaining about everything. Meredith's staying calm for about five seconds. I love Brittany that they invited Brittany back and didn't make her a full-time housewife that still brought her back. I think that was very important. That was a good move. So overall, I loved it.

I mean, listen, if I can laugh for, and this was supersized. So if you can laugh for a full hour and a half, I give them credit. Yeah, 100%. And that was, again, I think this is definitely going to be the season that the audience is going to turn on Bronwyn because sophomore seasons are tough. I feel like the cast is going to go after her. She was popular last season and people were already kind of, you were pretty early and sort of get it, like sort of being skeptical about her. And by the end of the season, people were already like really starting to go in that direction. And I was like, this can be the season. And even I'm like that.

I'm like, like, it's infectious. It gets into you, like, under your skin. But then watching the premiere, I was like, oh, I'm, like, remembering all the things I really liked about Bronwyn and, like, how quick and how sharp she is with, like, a clapback. She's just so good. I just missed the head, the constant head nodding of Bronwyn. There's a lot of head nodding work in this recap because it's Ronwin and Meredith.

So in one show, we're going to need to, like, get our next back in order. You know, like, I'm Meredith Merrick's, and then there's that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You agree with that, yes. So you are saying you're a stupid, dumb bitch, and you deserve to die? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You are? So there's all of that. So let's get going with it. We open with everybody recording themselves on camcorders, and it's just wacky. It's like one of those girls, here we are in camcorders. And we hear Mary in the voiceover saying, true friendship unfolds over time, shaped by hardship, grace, shared memories, and made safe with trust. But when trust is gone, fear takes up. over and Blaine points fingers and friend turns against friend and then it turns into a horror

movie. Yeah, and the footage is like when it's the happy part of that little monologue, we see them on these camcorders, they're together and they're joking and they're sweet. It's like summer camp and they're like, oh, friendships, true friendships. I was like, none of you guys are truly friends. You guys all hate each other. Okay, we've sat through five seasons of you guys yelling at each other nonstop over the stupidest things. Okay, like, at least let's not pretend

you're really friends. Yeah. They're like, oh, it's just sisterhood. It's the housewives. It's all about the sisterhood. And then, boom,

they're all running and afraid of getting killed by something in the woods and it's all black and white. And they're all shooting themselves with camcorders, but they're doing it from under their faces where they're holding their flashlights. And that's just never where you want to shoot

when you start getting facial work done. You know what I mean? No. Because only the facade looks right. the minute you start turning and having angles, you start seeing all the staples. Yeah. That's why everyone on Love Island looks crazy because they all have their faces like specifically custom to their one angle that they have on social media on like TikTok or on Instagram.

So the moment that you see them sort of like in motion from different angles, everything goes weird. But what's also funny in retrospect, this monologue of like when the trust is gone, fear takes over and blame points fingers, yada, yada, yada. and we see this Blair Wish footage. They did not get lost in the woods and chased by a ghost because they lost trust with each other. They are doing this because Heather said, let's go into the woods and find a ghost. This actually was because of trusts. You trusted the wrong girlfriend.

And now she's feeding you to some ghost. So Angie pulls up to Mary's house in an RV, which is horrifying. I mean, thinking of Anthony driving an RV around. I love that that. be allowed. Yeah, I was actually a little surprised that, well, at first, you know, she pulls up and she's behind the wheel. So I thought, okay, they shot the RV coming in and then they got like a pickup of her sitting at the wheel to make it look like she drove it. But she, Angie actually drives an RV and she's in like a little business suit. It was surprising. And Angie's like,

Mary Cosby, here we go. You ready for your class A Greek away? I mean, get away. And Mary's like, why are you dressed like you're going to the office? And Angie continues the tradition of talking to Mary, like she's a 90-year-old woman, you know, that she's taking care of. She's like, hello, Mary. Are you excited to go on a get-o-a? Everything she's, and Mary just disses her, and she just ignores it. And she's like, can you believe we're doing this, Auntie Mary?

Mary's like, no. So then we meet Teague, the driver. He's going to be driving. and Angie is wearing this huge crazy bow dress like a linebacker bow and she's like, I know by the look of this dress you wouldn't believe

that I would be into RV living and I wasn't until Sean forced me to buy one but now it has been the funnest time bonding with my family and it's a only RV they could find that has a bed the size of a football field so that she doesn't have

to touch her husband. That's sweet. I'm waiting for them to like renovate the interior so it's just a gleaming stark white RV on the inside with like one like piece of pink that's like a piece of art that Electra made once it dawned on me why have I never done this with the ladies and I know the perfect person to host it with and it's going to be Mary Mary is is unwittingly co-hosting a trip in an RV which does not seem like something Mary is totally down for and by not seems like something she's totally down for. She hates it. She hates this entirely. No, she's like, yeah,

I did this as a kid. I don't need to do this as an adult. Okay, thanks. Because her grandma owned RVs, which means that Mary owned RVs because Mary inherited all that stuff because she married the grandma's husband. She's like, I just sold all these RVs, okay? They all smelled like my grandpa, I mean my husband. And I don't need to be in this again. Okay. I, when I was a kid, I wanted an RV so badly, like the idea of like that you could be sitting at a table while you drive somewhere was so amazing to me. And I don't, I mean, I've stepped inside of like trailer trailers before or like I think I've been inside an RV, but I've never actually driven somewhere in an RV. And like, I don't like the idea of actually being the driver in an RV, but like I do

see the appeal of like, I don't want a camp. I want to take an RV from one city to another or then stay at a nice hotel. I just want to have a nice accommodation. Yeah, like two or buss it, you know. When I was growing up, my mom and Papa had a mobile home, and they would take me and my cousin Matt across the country, and it was so fun. You know, we would have peanut butter and banana,

no, peanut butter sandwiches in the morning for breakfast and tang. That was our healthy breakfast every day. And then we would just go, I saw the whole country. You know, I saw the Grand Canyon. I saw Dollywood. And at Dollywood, I ran away because I got sick of being bossed around. And so me and my cousin ran away and just, just did Dollywood by herself.

And they were calling the police and my parents, all the memories. So I see an RV and I'm like, yes, run away. Ronnie. Let's do it. RV, which stands for Ronnie vivaciousness. Ronnie vibes. Run away from home. That's better.

Honey vibes. This is going to be a, I am, I am in like a Salt Lake City Hangover. this is going to be an interesting recap just like I'm like I feel like I'm like you know what it is like you know when you feel like awake but like the words just are not coming out properly and that's what today is going to be like just warning well you are in good company because we are talking salt lake city and they don't know very many words um so she reminds us that after New York there were some fractures in some of the Greek ships so we see flashbacks to the reunion where everybody's fighting with each other. And so Angie's tricking them all and she's told them all that they're going on a luxurious vacation. Little do they know. They're going to be sleeping in an RV. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It is you, Zorba and your closest frenemies. So, don, dawn, don't. We are using we are using Faget Greek yogurt as pillows. Um, why do I feel like, the only one who's really going to be not down for this will be Meredith.

I feel like RVs are not Meredith's vibe at all. But everyone else, like this is Salt Lake City. I feel like everyone else will be like, okay, fine, we'll stay in an RV. I mean,

this is the only real housewife show where they will unfold some Kirkland chairs in a parking lot next to a pile of dirty snow in April and pull out like a tray of supermarket cheeses and shoot a scene. So like RV, like spending a night in an RV. This is just like par for the course for them. This is not like the real housewives of Miami or Beverly Hills. Like this is just, this is like a weekend, a weekend excursion for them.

Yeah, this is actually kind of a nice trip for this cast. They didn't even get to do anything glamorous until two years ago until they got rid of Jen Shaw. Yeah. And then even when they, that even last year when they went and like went to Mexico, they had like an international trip to Mexico. They still had to have their big climactic dinner at a restaurant and an amusement park. That's just like what this cast is. Yeah, that's how this cast rolls. Yeah, this is the parking lot cast.

You know, they do everything in the parking lot. Yeah, they'll pull over on the side of the road and have a scene, you know, and the shoulder of a freeway. That's just how this cast rolls. So them acting like it's so not glamorous. Like, Whitney, you're about to be living in one of these if you're lucky. You know what I mean? Whitney, you go to Sturgis every year.

Okay, like, let's not act like you were like you need to be like fed it in like the rich Carlton of Paris. So Heather, Whitney, Bronwyn, Meredith, and Brittany are all standing outside beauty lab, which is never a good sign. And Heather's like, guys, where do you think we're going? And she kept saying it's somewhere glamorous. And Whitney's like, I tried to call and get that info from Mary and she wouldn't bidge. What was that?

Bidge? Yeah. Bidge. Oh, wait, sorry, everyone. She means budge. Sorry. It's been a while. I have to turn my Whitney translation on. Okay. Don't tell me what I meant. You exploited my vocabulary.

So Heather's like, she's like, oh, well, with Angie, I thought she'd sing like a canary. And she was just mysterious as you can be about where we'll be going. Where are they? And we're just like, well, I can't marry. You know, I didn't ask anything other than what I should. back. So I don't know anything. And Mary, we see the invite. And it's called the Class A getaway. And it says, bring bikini boots and blessings. And to illustrate this, there's bikini, boots, and a cross. So. And but there's also an airplane, isn't there? Yes. There's an airplane.

And it's all like drawn like yellow submarine style. So Heather's like, well, based on the invite, there's only a few places that we can be going. There's a. private plane, there's a pier over water, and there's a tropical drink. But then the invite also said boots. Heather is even more media training sound, media trained sounding this season than ever before. She's always like very good in her, in her interviews, but she's even more like, hello, I'm on camera now, and I'm doing an interview. I'm just, I'm a wacky housewife. Yeah, Heather, Heather sticks to her guns on this, this stick until you really get under her skin. And then she flits you know and that's what that's what we need but i'm fine with the stick for now because

you know it's episode one slow burn slow burn into it so brahm was like well i packed a little bit of everything so i'm i've got something i've got i've got hideous outfits in whatever genre we choose i mean we could be helicoptering in for all i know i mean i'm ready for anything i mean and lord knows i have a lot of experience with helicopters todd you know what i'm saying anyone think about it she's been helicoptering todd for years So now they're like, oh, my God, where's Angie and Mary? What the hell? Oh, we're also missing Lisa.

And Meredith's like, oh, Lisa's not coming. She didn't tell you. And they're like, what? Lisa's not coming. Oh, my God. Everyone who hates Lisa is like, she's not coming. Because they were planning on just railing on Lisa. They were so ready.

So now Heather says, so now seems like a good time to update you on where everyone stands with each other. Meredith cannot stand Brittany. I'm not a fan of Bronwyn's. I'm not really sure where Mary stands with anyone, but that's kind of what you get with Mary. And then there's Angie Whitney and especially Bronwyn, who are all not getting along with Lisa right now. One might ask,

why are we going on a girl's trip when there are five ongoing disputes? But that's actually kind of tame for this group slash Bravo's making us do this. Yeah, pretty much. So the RV pulls up and no one really notices at first. because it's beauty lab. I'm sure RV's pulled in there all the time. You know,

so like, whatever, but then the RV just start with the family of 12. Yeah. To get their facials. Heather's like, you know,

it's that Mormon family special, you know, bring all the kids in to start their Botox. Preventative, it's preventative. Five and up. Five and up.

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap and's commercial. So they start honking and it is Angie. The honk is like, grease, grease, grease, grease, grease, grease, grease, Greece, Greece, Greece, Greece, Greece, and it's Angie. Athens, Athens, Athens. Oh, she has an old-timey horn. Yeah. An old-timey, a huger horn that says Athens.

That's real old-timey. That's a few thousand years old. They found this in the Acropolis. It's an old horn. They used on the Argo. Athens. So, Brittany's like, wait. Wait, so we're not flying somewhere?

No, we are not flying, but you gave me an invitation with a plane, and I'm ready for bikinis. I'm wearing a bikini. And she opens her jacket, and she's wearing a bikini. They're like, oh, my God, fucking Britney's showing up in a bikini. She was going to wear a bikini on the airplane. That's what that means. She was like, who wears a bikini out of an airplane?

Who wears a bikini on a commercial flight? God bless Angie's little heart. I mean, God bless Brittany's little heart. Just reading the invite and taking every word so literal. Well, do they all get different invitations than me? Because it said bikini's boots and blessings. I mean, why am I the only one wearing a bikini? What about me?

It means pack those things. It doesn't mean you have to wear them on whatever mode of transportation we'll be taking to the trip. So, Esther's like, yeah, you really took the theme to heart, huh? I have no idea where we're going, but unless she's planning on going to a pool party with a congressman, I'm not sure where this outfit even works. So they get on. Like the Brittany, like Brittany wearing that bikini under that, like was that some sort of like felt jacket that she was wearing over it or felt top? It was like a like a, like a camel trench or something. Camel, camel hair.

It was, I was like, okay. We are so back. So they get in and they get into this RV. It's a nice RV, but I actually felt I felt it was a very cramped RV because it's so nice that all the seating is like big armchairs. But as a result, they're all like stuffed in there in the back. And Bronwyn is not happy because she is, she says, I live my life as a germaphobe. And it's a very small and closed space. And I don't like when other people are coughing or breathing or eating snacks.

And we're all using the same air for everything. And if anybody could make a hazmat suit, she got a camping trip. Camping trip, it would have been me. I just needed a little bit more advanced notice. You're a germaphobe, huh? Because last season, your house was covered in dog poop that you hadn't cleaned up in like a million days. And you're married to Todd, who you know spits at you while he talks and is a constant silent fart. I don't believe you.

I don't believe this late in germophobia. germophobia. No. I have a ritual. Every two days, I go to CVS and I get for the counter medications to deal with any sort of potential germs that might be coming into my body. And of course, I pick up a new bag of where there's originals for Todd. So germaphobe. I thought it would be special that we're like close. Ladies, we can spend close time together. And so Brittany's like, oh, yeah, we are really close. And she's sitting right next to Meredith. She's like, Jesus, help. Help me. So then all of a sudden, police start to swarm the RV in a site that is very reminiscent of season two, Salt Lake City.

It's a SWAT team. But we all know, like, we all know where this is going because this is like, this is a stripper version of the SWAT team, which means they just have shirts that say SWAT. They don't actually have any gear or anything that makes them look remotely like real SWAT team members, right? so they knock on the door and they're like oh my god oh my god what is happening what is going on we're here for whitney we're here for whitney whitney get out of the RV so my god what is going what is going to happen with me so she comes out and they handcuff her but guess what it's strippers yeah you've been a bad girl a very bad girl and they start to strip and then they like the strippers come onto the RV but there's like no room for them it's so cramped so they're

just sort of like in the doorway kind of like writhing and taking off their shirts and stuff yeah they just take off their shirts and kind of do a couple of fist bumps and they're out she didn't really think that one through didn't quite work the way it was supposed to work yeah when i heard we were departing from beauty lab i knew i had to pull a prank and so i got strippers. It was harder than I thought to find male strippers in Utah, by the way. Which I find

kind of odd. You would think that there'd be enough like repressed emotions that there'd be tons of them. But I guess it's hard to get to where they get down further than the long underwear or whatever, you know. But she found them. So here they are. And

yeah, easiest job ever. They're like, wow, we didn't even have to whack anybody in the face with our dongs. We're done. Nailed it. Lunchtime. Chillies. Chillies, boys. I will say the stripper quality on Salt Lake City, maybe not as high as on maybe a show like Atlanta. But I appreciate the, I appreciate the attempt. I appreciate the attempt. They were hot. I love a small space stripper. Like here. Okay. I want you to strip for my party, but you're relegated to the laundry closet. Okay. It's like, you know what it is? It's like House Hunter's Tiny Homes. You know, like you have like full size.

like you can be a stripper in like a full size room that has space or you come on to Salt Lake City and you strip in a very very small confined space and everyone watches saying how can they live like that you know right the tiny home version tiny home stripper um and mary is mortified she's like no I will no no no no no no no and one comes up to her and starts touching her and she goes you don't even know me There has to be a thorough, like, get to know Mary phase before they can do any lap dances. So now everybody does shots and they won't tell them where they're going, but it's going to be an hour away, okay? And Heather's like, an hour north, an hour south, an hour east, or an hour west, which is it going to be?

South. And Brittany says, so we're going to pass my house then? And Mary goes, yeah, maybe we can drop. you off. Kidding. Kind of kidding. Mostly kidding. By the way,

I just have to say one last thing about the strippers. I love when Mary goes. I mean, where are the muscles? So, yeah, they're going an hour away.

So, which is hilarious that they're staying actually so local. And Mary is, so Britney is, you know, making jokes about,

about dropping Britney off. And Mary says, you know, some people, just get on your nerves and it just cuts to Brittany going, I'm like, hello, hello, hello. He's like, yeah, just one of them. We've got an hour to gaze into each other's eyes.

Talk about whatever we want. I'll start. Grape leaves. So they're like, wait a minute, where's Lisa? Uh-oh, dun, dun, done. Well, she was kind of not very clear. She said she had some work going on, so she was going to go out of town.

and we see flashback of Lisa on the phone. And Lisa is one of those housewives you don't ever want to get stuck on the phone with. We've both had experiences with them. And I love Lisa, but I don't ever want to get stuck on the phone with Lisa because she just goes on and on and on about herself and never takes a breath.

She could be talking to the opera. She could be talking to the guy at the other end of a movie phone, you know? You never have a chance to say anything. And she's like, well, she's like, hey, I don't want to spend the night. with Bronman because she's a pathological liar and she can't tell the truth to save her life. It's like disgusting. It's like literally disgusting. Like I can't. I'm working. I've got work

to do. I'm going to be, I don't want to like name drop, but it's like a big deal. You know, people forget, like what people forget is that I have like a very full plate. It's like so full. I keep it like kind of private. So I'm not going to drop names, but I'm going to be with Ben and Blake, Affleck and Lively. So would I rather be with you or Ben Affleck and Blake Lively? I don't know. What is it with the women on these Mormon shows trying to name drop Ben Affleck all the time? Yeah, I have to testify in the Justin Baldoni case against Blake lively. Yeah, I just, I guess I'm sort of like a key witness.

Yeah, so I've just got like things to do. Sorry, can't make it to the camping trip. Yeah. I brought Ben Affleck in town so that we can go stand up to Jen Affleck and remind her that he's not related to them. It's just trying to weasel her way into that Dunkin' Donuts commercial. And she's like, and Ben and Blake, she's like, yeah, I'll be with Ben Affleck and Blake Lively, Blake lively, who's married to Ryan Reynolds. So I'll basically be with him too. And since Ryan Reynolds is like in like that Marvel movie, Deadpool, I'm basically an Avenger now.

So yeah, I've got like new friends. I've got to hang out with him. Bye. You'll have fun with Bronwyn. Yeah. And then he's like, well, it wasn't very clear if it was work or more the fact that Bronwyn was coming. on the trip, but everyone is invited. It's probably Bronwyn, because we know she's not working.

Which by the way, Angie saying, well, is that or Bronwyn coming on the trip? It's like, it's totally lighting a fire, right? And Bronwyn's like, don't blame it on me. And so Brinne goes, well, I talk to her. You know, she was definitely working and like, she has like a huge work thing, like a huge thing. Like something about like Thanos like coming to like Earth and she has to like go find him off. Like, I don't know. Like, she has a lot to do.

She would miss a girl's trip over work. I don't believe it. She's like, yeah, she would. I mean, don't drag her. Don't drag her. Whitney, don't drag her. She's a very good friend of mine. Lisa and I are extremely close.

We are extremely close. And you're one to talk with me. I don't think she's working. Oh, yeah, you're one to talk. Your one to talk. Your business is getting dragged right now on social media. What about that? What about your business getting dragged?

What? Are you kidding me, Brittany? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? And then we see headlines that say, from reality. Blub. Whitney has been accused of being involved in an MLM scheme. Okay, it's not even an accusation. It's literally like, would you like to be involved in multi-level marketing? Call Whitney. It's not like some investigative reporting going on. It was literally an MLM scheme. no i wanted to make a healthier version of candies so i came up with these like chocolate coated candies that are sugar have a sugar shell and i'm gonna be like mm you're gonna love them that's why i call them m lms not mnms so it's like a little bit better it's like whitney you're literally selling mLMs with your MLM what sorry that was a long way to go for that you buy an MLM And then you sell it to somebody and they sell the MLM and you get a piece of their MLM.

And before you know it, everybody has diabetes. When you get a bag of MLMs, you have to send one MLM back to the person above you in the pyramid because our office is in a pyramid. It's not a scheme. It's an actual pyramid. And then like that person has to send an MLM up. And then the person at the top has so many MLMs. Winnie's just saying this because she feels emboldened. The lease is not here.

She can say whatever she wants and get it. with it, though you can't, because I am here to stand up for my best friend, Lisa Barlow. Yeah, out of nowhere. I was questioning where Lisa was. That's all I was doing. Yeah, and that was shady because she's on a business trip with someone whose name I won't drop named Ben Affleck and Blake Liverly. So how dare you, how dare you? You know nothing about my business, by the way. Well, you don't have a right to dress.

Rag Lisa. She's a very loyal friend. A very, very loyal friend. No one has been kinder to Wendy than her. Wait, so, like, what do you do for money? How do you make money? Um, sucking dick. Ah, ah, are you kidding me, Whitney? Yeah, yeah. You just went there with me, Brittany, and that was low, and it was so undeserved. It's not low. Your business is being dragged on social media in the public eye. I'm at a, I'm under, I'm up the bottom of a rock. I mean, I'm like a rock fellow. Wait, hold on. Okay, wait. I'm at, I'm at rock bottom, bitch. And I'll climb my way out on top of you. And then I'll have sex with you. Wait, huh? What am I supposed to say? come on guys we're we're flummixing whitney we just started the trip you don't have a right to drag Lisa just because she's not here and Bronman's like um you need to keep your hands out of my face or I'm gonna jump into Lisa is a really good friend of mine she's a good friend and I'm not gonna let someone just throw shade when she's not here we are all of you quietly to send to her now there's like yeah I don't know when they became friends so

then we see she goes you'd have to ask Lisa when they became friends so we see a shot of Lisa's couch where she should be sitting and it's just empty and it says where's Lisa on a business trip they're trolling her so Brittany's like Lisa's yeah Lisa's like a sister

to me okay she's I got really close with her after Portoviara and just because she and Meredith are close it doesn't affect our relationship whatsoever Brittany don't say anything mean about Whitney's business she's like I didn't give any detail. It just said I read about it online.

Especially, don't kick a one-legged dog when they're down. Sorry, Whitney. You kicked a dog. That's not right. I'm calling the S-A-Pasic at Merteson. Hey, I'm a four-legged dog. You exploited my fourth leg. So there's a bump and everything falls off the shelves. So they arrive at the Provo River Resort,

which is one of the more scenic. places they've gone to on this show, although there's, like, a rusted out school bus on the side and trash cans and, like, rabid raccoons doing, like, reenacting river dance in the corner. Like, it's a toothless guy playing, you know, he's playing the banjo. It definitely feels like that scene in sinners when the vampires approach the nightclub and are, like, playing their banjos. I'm like, stay away. Stay away.

they would actually fit in as that is that cast the people approaching the religious people they're like just singing the religious songs on their way there um just so singing mbop i would like to sing my favorite song from temple mbubbh bap mbubb pab p bdap umbbb can you let us into your club That's like, is that a dumpster? Oh, my God. Ron was like, I was picturing like a glamorous cabin. Yeah, like maybe something fabulous and a chef. But, you know, we'd say, oh, it's so freezing.

And then we'd run out into the hot tub or something like that. I don't know. I planned that line all the entire trip. I was, I was thinking, oh, it's freezing. Oh, it's freezing or oh, it's freezing. I did it like 10 times. But there's no hot tub. And it's muddy.

And Mary's like, we're not just in nature. We're in the trenches. I mean, there's mud. There's trees. She's mortified by trees. She's like, how dare you bring me somewhere with trees? I think mud and trees are, that's fairly. Well, mud is not great, but it's like acceptable.

I think like the rusted school bus in the corner is more of an issue for me. I thought it was actually funny when someone said, there's a dumpster. I'm like, well, at least there's some place to put your trash. I'd be happy to see a dumpster personally. Yeah. So Whitney's like, I grew up in a Winnebago. which no one is shocked by. And Mary's like, yeah, I don't know how my name got attached to this trip.

Like, this is not me. I did not do this. Whitney and the Winnebago. I don't know. The Winnebago is different than saying that you want a bagel once when you grew up. Oh, okay. Never mind. Well, cheers, everyone.

Welcome to nature. Let us have lunch. I got a sandwich trays from the store. So no one's allowed to have phones or anything. And then Brittany, of course, stands up and immediately, it's like, everybody, I have a literal activity plan for us. Yes. I didn't clear what the hostess is. But I actually think since I'm the video girl and you all know me is the video girl, it's kind of my wrap around here.

So fun. Isn't it fun girls? And they're all just staring at her like, you recorded us. And that was not funny, ma'am. Brittany brings it back like it's one of her greatest hits. She's like, yeah, remember me? Recording girl. She was like, well, so I had somehow landed a corporate sponsorship and you all have camcorders.

So she gives them all camcorders. I was surprised I had how jealous I was in that moment. I was like, I want a camcorder. I don't know why because we all have our phones. Like there's literally no need for a camcorder anymore, which is sad. But it was also like so Brittany to be like, Here's a piece of antiquated technology that you have no use for and already have all the capabilities on your phone. But it's another piece of clutter for your house in joy.

And they all are looking at her like, what is wrong with this woman? And yet they did also the thing that I would do, which was immediately get onto their camcorders and shoot all sorts of silly videos like there were kids again. Yeah. Yeah, they were looking at her like, you're fucking crazy. But that's another thing I really like about this cast is they'll do it. They're like, okay. I mean, we're playing with camcorders. We'll do it.

We all hate Brittany and want to, you know, settle on fire, but we'll do this. And we don't want to be here camping, but I guess we're just going to do this. So let's, you know, they're all game. Commercials. Here comes one right now. I love, I just, I also just like, I just, I love that this camp quarters is their special treat. Like, you know, you go on to Beverly Hills and Kathy Hilton's giving everyone like Baccaro glass or you know they're flying on stephanie showjai's private plane front to sevia then down to marbaea

then up back to sevia the back to miami and here it's like you all get a camcorder yeah we went to best buy and pick this up on the way enjoy yeah so they make a bunch of funny videos and stuff and of course mary's camp quarter goes black immediately and you just hear her going well how does this work i think she had the fade out button because it like faded to black and she didn't realize I mean that fade out button I don't know Ronnie when you were a kid how much did you love the fade out button like you'd be like every time you make these little scenes it's like well here I am walking through the kitchen and scene fade out that was like my that was like my my director's touch no I never

used any of that stuff I just used the main because you know me I'm like fix it in post you know be like okay here I am I'm standing in front of my mother's bedroom. Okay, cut. I never got it. I'm just like someone will edit that later. There's so many videos of me as a kid going cut. It's like, you're recording yourself, you moron.

There's nobody to cut this. So Whitney's like, this wasn't on my bingo card for today, but I'm happy to be here with all of you. I just love being in nature. It just puts everything into perspective. Like, why didn't Lisa come? Let's think about it. When someone plans a girl's trip, you go.

And when you don't go, It's to make a statement. Like, we would have rearranged a trip around her. But it's just a way for her to say, I'm not into you guys as much as you're into me. And, oh, gosh, Heather always makes it. Like, oh, my God, she wouldn't invite me to her lunch table at BYU. That's exactly right.

Every single time, it goes back to that. Well, well, she hasn't shared anything with me, but I read what's online. And, you know, we always have to believe everything we read online, unless you read something about Prism. And I think that there's just like a lot out there. Why you just? I'm sorry.

No, she, no. Yeah, she was just getting mad at Brittany because Brittany read stuff about Whitney's business. Why are you reading things on blobs of reality? But now she's like, well, I read stuff on reality burp that says that Lisa killed 10 people. So I don't know. Yeah. She has a lot of people accusing her of crazy accusations. Oh, God, I love Whitney English.

Yeah, accusing her of accusations. I heard that Lisa's been accusing people of things. You're an accuser. Didn't she just mention this the other day, Heather, to you and say everything was okay? And Heather's like, yeah, she said it was all bullshit. That's what she said. But Heather, aren't you claiming in about five minutes that you've heard none of this? Heather's so bad.

Then Brittany's like, well, that's what she said to me, too. As her best friend, I think I would know. well interesting timing uh-huh interesting timing for lisa to be too busy that's air quotes okay to go on a free girl's trip maybe she's air quote too busy reading about herself in the press with all of her lawsuits it's just very convenient timing for lisa's schedule to be max out yeah because what i've heard not nod nod is knock knock who who's there no i said nod nod who's there oh oh who's there Orange. Wait, I always thought it was called a nod-knod joke.

Bronwyn is nodding so emphatically that Brittany thinks it's a knock-knock joke. Hello? Whitney. Hello, someone there? Well, what I've heard is that there's multiple issues, and some of them are not done yet. They're not done. That's what I heard. They're not done.

I've changed. She's shaking my head now. What do you think of that? Oh, I'm nodding. again. Now I'm nodding again. Go back to the nodding. It's very serious. For somebody who's so worried, you know what, now we're going to get serious because I'm going to not only nod, but I'm going to go to a three-quarter view when I talk, okay? Because for somebody who's so worried about my finances and now let's move all the shoulders forward and do some extra, you know,

lurch forward to really emphasize some things, nod and lurch about your jewelry, someone who's so interested about jewelry or what your husband may or may not have done and that she heard from someone else, nod, and never did. I mean, whatever you want to call it, for somebody who talks an awful lot. Maybe she should spend some of that time working on some of the stuff. She's got a fix. Big nod. Well, wouldn't not showing up on a girl's trip to work be working on some of the things that she's going to fix? I don't know. It feels like she's already doing what you want her to do. So, Angie's like, you seem to know something that you don't want to say, and Heather's like, spit it out, Bronwyn. Just say it. Brynwin. Just say it, Brynwin. Just say it,

Brynwin. Well, Lisa's go-to accusation is that all of us are liars when she doesn't like what we say. And then she is the one pointing it out and never sharing with us what's hard or what's difficult or messy or frankly, maybe even fucking bullshit about her own life. Guess what? She doesn't even go to Wendy's eye tractor. There, I said it. That's why she talks, though. Because then if she talks, then other people don't have to say that she talks about accusations about it.

Bairn. Well, Mary's like, yeah, we can't talk about her stuff, but she can always talk about ours. Oh, yeah. And by the way, most of the lawsuits that I've looked at, I mean, I don't know how many there are. I don't. Hold on. Let me shake my head for a second, just to, just to emphasize, I do not know how many there are. 100, 110, 3,000? I don't know. But I've seen at least five that have been filed against Lisa, or Lisa's businesses, or Lisa and her husband's businesses, or businesses and Lisa. her husband and her husband and and his businesses along with Lisa. That's what I've seen. And one again, Henry, which was weird. I've seen it.

And Heather's like, like file lawsuits against Lisa Barlow. Yeah, Lisa and John. Yeah. It's like, I don't understand what is a lawsuit. I don't even know. Is that like a little outfit you put on the law to make the law more acceptable to people? And Bronwyn's like, no, it's a serious, these are serious allegations. And it's for a lot of money.

I mean, so she's litigating. She's in court right now. I don't understand. Even though I just said I spoke to Lisa about this and she said all the accusations are bullshit, I didn't even know there were accusations. What are you talking about? I've never heard of anything like this. And what are you doing?

Reading testimonials? Are you Googling? What are you doing, Bronwyn? And she's like, it was in the Salt Lake City Tribune, Heather. Okay, the Tribune. I'm not familiar. Everybody reads the Tribune. What is the, the Tribune?

Is that like a bus? Is that a new bus line that people are taking? I don't know what these things. are salt lake dream it is everywhere angie have you seen it she's like i have seen it you've seen it you've seen it you've seen it um teague teague teg have you seen it teg has seen it and heather's like what i've never heard of any of this this is absolute insanity i love heather but right now for you to pretend you didn't see it i think stevie wonder saw it stevie wonders at home like hey why are you dragging me into this don't don't bring like please don't

I thought we were past TV wonder jokes. Didn't we leave those in the 80s? So Angie is like, if you're saying you don't know, you're playing stupid, and we've all seen the same things, Lisa talks a big game, and then you hear all this other stuff going on.

It's weird. Oh, God, this whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Why Bronwyn thinks she would tell us this? Why everyone at the table seems so riveted by it. I mean, Lisa and I have worked really hard in our friendship and I want to be a supportive friend. So every instinct in my body is like,

defend your friend. I'm just thinking about what I would want someone to do in that position for me. And when I thought about it, I thought I would like them to get me a very small Bolero jacket to hide in. Yeah. Well, you know what?

Borrowing money is part of business. And I think the lawsuits are about borrowing money. I mean, what are you going to do? It's part of doing business. Yeah, but so is paying it back. some so is paying it back you've got to pay the money back you've got to pay it back and I'm saying this is Bronwyn and this is the only name that I've ever used and I've never been accused of anything in Grand Theft Auto so I don't want anybody even to mention that okay

at least for a few episodes okay this well it's like yeah well it's like I told my toddler you have to pay the nice man if you want to keep the electronic fly swatter okay and he did because it's business and um Heather's uh Angie's like Heather, one might say it is similar to what Jen Shaw did. And this is a real sticking point. It's not. And this is going to be a thing. I know this is going to be a thing.

Like, fast forward to like two weeks from now, Lisa would be like, how could you say I was like Jen Shaw? That is the worst thing you could ever say about me. I guarantee that stupid line is going to haunt it. And the reason why also is because in this Hollywood Reporter article, the journalist says, well, Angie says in the premiere that Lisa is like, Jen Shaw, what do you guys think about that? I was like, okay, this is going to be a thing. This is going to be a talking point because, like, I just, I just feel like it's going to be a whole thing. Because you know, Heather's going to say, well, Angie was saying that you were like, Jan Shaw.

She said that about me. Oh. Just brace yourselves, everyone. What the fuck are you spewing from your mouth, Angie Kay? I don't even understand Angie's analogy. I mean, these are not criminal charges. This is a civil lawsuit that has yet to go to trial. And this is coming from DJ lawyer Meredith Marks.

Okay. The state of Utah is not coming after Lisa Barlow, nor is the United States of America, nor are five bean salads for that matter. But I'll tell you who is coming after Lisa Barlow. Me, because I need an extra hand to help me. slice this lemon because my sister is busy this weekend. I mean, this is blowing my G.D. mind.

You're comparing L.B. to Jen Shaw and you two are like bonding over this. What is going on? Why are we even talking about Jen Shaw? We shouldn't be talking about her. We shouldn't say her name. We shouldn't unearth her spirit because she's in prison where she belongs. You better watch your mouth because Jen Shaw is about to be out in five minutes and she is going to curb stop you. She's got new trims. What about me? What about my curb? So Bronwyn's like, I know, okay, Heather, I know you can't stand me.

And that's fine. You don't have to. Heather's like, that's not true. It's like, but you just said if anybody compared someone to Jen, it would be too far. What about when Lisa compared me to Jen? Was it too far then? Lisa publicly tweeted that. Heather's like, I didn't hear that.

And if I did hear that, I probably would have laughed. Well, I just told you. Like, well, I'm not on Twitter, Googling your fucking name, Bronwyn. I have a relationship with you based on this. And what I have on you is not great. And I'm not going to sit here and have you tell me all this shit about Lisa's business when you just got caught red-handed, lying about a $4 million necklace. Oh.

She is quick. Oop. So. Oop. Might I add a in there? Thank you. Thank you. So we see a flashback to the necklace where Andy's like,

So you do have a necklace? She's like, oh, you know what I should do? I should probably have shown it. I should probably have brought it. So I could show the other ladies. That would have been great, wouldn't it? I could have. I could have.

Yeah, I could have. Ronwin, is this retaliation to the necklace? Is that what this is? Well, you know what? It's my fault. I should not have tried to be cutesy about it. Cutsy about the $4 million necklace that I didn't buy, but I could have, if I wanted to, but I didn't buy. But you didn't own the necklace.

No, and I said I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have said it that way. I shouldn't have said I own the necklace when I didn't have it. I shouldn't have said it that way. I should have said I don't own the necklace. That's my fault. That's my, that's my purse of bear. Yeah. I was just trying to protect myself and the jeweler and it came out sounding like a lie. And that's bad on me because it was a lie I should have made sound like the truth more. So that's on me. I should it made it sound more truthful. Yeah. I know I wasn't going, I knew I wasn't going to buy the necklace, but I made the

girls believe that I had it by saying, you know, when I wear it, you'll see it and thinking that I would get a different version and they just wouldn't notice because they're all stupid. You know, between you and me, America, that's okay. And that was wrong. And how did that become more important to me than my integrity or the importance of Todd and our anniversary? I thought that as being tough enough to not give a damn about what anyone else thinks. and I thought they were dumb enough to not follow up.

Yeah. And just this whole monologue, she's doing this really tight smile while she nods. And you know that Todd is making her do this because she does not look happy that she has to do this. But she's like, and you know, I know it sounded like a lie. And that is unfortunate because I was just trying to look cool. And I don't know why I would do this to Todd and I's anniversary because Todd is very important to me. and I would never want to embarrass Todd over this. It's like, oh, God, so things are going real well over there with Todd, huh?

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