Watch What Crappens - #3006 RHOM S7E16: The Icing on the Cake

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

On The Real Housewives of Miami, Adriana manages to turn a cake gaffe into a racial crime, and it all happens at Art Basel. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to watch for crappins. I'm Ben Mandelker. And joining me there, festively, is Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

Hi, good. Good to see you. How's everything going with you? It's going great because no one has done a mathematic equation about my age on a cake today. So I'm feeling really good. We're talking today about Real Housewives of Miami. Before we get into that, tonight is crappy hour.

It's on YouTube. Go check out our YouTube. channel. It's there. It's a YouTube live experience starts at 5.30 on the West Coast, 8.30 on the East Coast. It's also simulcast on Instagram, so you can watch it there. But if you're on YouTube, you can actually join us. We pull

people up onto the stage and talk with them at the end of the show. So come join us for that. We always have a blast, talking about headlines, et cetera. We also have a wonderful Patreon. We have a bonus episode every single week. Last week we did a trailer trash where we broke down every single shot and scene and moment of the new

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That's all the good stuff. And that's all the administrative housekeeping out of the way. Let's dive into it. It's our second to last episode of Miami before the reunions, of course. Shall we just dive in, Ronnie? How do you feel? How are you feeling? What's new? What's going on?

It was so cramish. I mean, look, Adriana, I'm rooting for you. But, oh, this ending with Adriano was like, no, please, no, please. It's so funny. It's so funny. Also, it's so. It's so ridiculous. It's just so wrong.

I'm like, please just stop this. Buddy, she has a black friend. She has a black friend. Oh, when she willed out the black friend. I can't believe the whole, I have a black friend, and she said, I'm a racist. Say it. I'm not racist, right? She's like, no, she's not racist. See, you heard it here first.

A black friend said it. I'm not a racist. I was like, oh, my God. No one called you a racist. What are you doing here? Oh, God. But shall we go back to the beginning? Ah, which is Larsa's moving day. She's like moving out of her apartment like, to like her house like,

because it's going to be like a house like. Hey, Claudia, like, like, what do you need me to help you with? Because you want me to do this and that next Y Z? Because I can do that like. Claudia, like, what are you like going to do like with that like picture of me? Like, standing by the pool and a swimsuit like, like, I need to make sure the arts like hung did it right. Like, come on, Claudia. Come on, Claudia, like.

And then Lisa and Jody are walking on the beach. And it's windy. And he's like, oh my God, it's so windy. I keep on like almost losing my hat. Like, it's so windy. My jaw might get blown open for a second. It's crazy. The personality literally just got blown out of my body.

Yeah, it's literally blowing me away. My hat. So she's chasing a hat. And now it's three days. It's not just chasing. She's torturing the audience because the wind blows her hat off and it like goes tumbling down the hill. And watching Lisa chase his hat was actually, it was like a dream. You know, in a dream where you're like running to get someplace, but you're not like getting there.

It's like Lisa, this, this hat is blowing in slow motion. And Lisa's like, ah. And she's like running after it. And she like cannot seem to. reach it or pick it up. She finally gets it. But watching her just not able to catch up with a hat. And then when she does catch up, when she reaches down, she like misses it. I was like, this is low key causing me to have a panic attack. So you have the dream where you're chasing, you're like you're running, but you never get somewhere? Uh, sometimes I do. Um, lately

what are you running towards Ben? Um, Larsa Pippen. I'm like, what are you doing? Get to your house like. We have to start our podcast like. I don't have that one, but I do have one that I'm walking around in different cities, different places, and I'm almost, you know, where I'm supposed to meet my friends or family or whoever's in the dream. And I never get there. And it's like all night. The dream goes all night. And I go into all sorts of different rooms and situations and hang out with different kinds of people. But I just never find the people I'm looking for.

I mean, it's just so on the nose, you know? I've had a few dreams lately where I've been actually, like, hugging dogs and liking dogs. No, I want that dream. I do it in real life. It's actually really cute. I'm living my dream life, basically. So it's three days before Art Basel and Adriana is so excited. Art Basel is around the corner where the best is now, Miami.

And everyone from all over the world comes to see what we have to show. It's not Basel, by the way. It's not an herb. It's Basel, like the detective and the great mouse detective. Basel. Yeah. So she tells us all about Art Basel. They've got 90,000 people in one week. It's crazy. And Stephanie's like, yeah, Art Basel is the it week to be in Miami. Yeah. It's so fun. What I do is I fly my private plane from Shoma Bazaar all the way down to South Beach across the bridge. And it is the best. There's, like, artists from, like, all around the world, like, and, like, people fly in, like, and, like, they come, like, it's like, they fly in from, like, Paris from, like, everywhere.

Like, yeah, it's, they come from so many other places, like, um, and, like, Paris. Um, and, like, Paris. It's, like, the only place I can, like, really think of. No, like, they also come from, like, Paris. Paris, yeah. They come from, like, Paris, like, we not only sell it. celebrate the art of it but we celebrate fashion and we celebrate music and that's what we do that's how we do it please celebrate in front of frankie that's what he needs right now that's what he needs it bring the whole city alive never more goats in miami than during art puzzle and Lisa's like yeah everyone plans their outfits and where they're going to go and it's like

you know for some people like not myself it's like really difficult to get into some of the parties although i guess i wasn't invited to lenny's party this year well i've been in the art world now for two decades i've represented international artists from france sweden priscilla and also i've worked with our friend martina even and gave her a solo show so don't forget i'm a good friend don't forget about it here's my art where i hit tennis balls into a canvas and pretended it was andri agassiz's face these pieces were made on the first court i played tennis on in my hometown in the chuck republic Oh, that's basically an unusable space now, but I got a picture out of it that probably never sold.

I don't really know. What happened to that art? We never really heard. I can't believe that didn't take off. A lady hitting a ball at a canvas full of paint. How did that not take off? Yeah, I don't know. Well, this art, Basel, I have found this new emerging artist from Britain, and I'm going to bring him to the Miami show to show his exquisite artwork.

But at night, when the light comes down, it is party time. And by party time, it means I'm going to prove to everyone. I'm not racist time. This is the Super Bowl of Art and her assistance, like, um, or the World Cup. Um, okay, or the World Cup. Well said then, you're fired. Do not argue with me about Super Bowl. I've been here decades.

Decades. So now we go to a plane hanger and keep getting her hair makeup done because she's to be doing a photo shoot and larest her father arrives i think there's something i just i have to get off my chest which is that like i think the rest he's an attractive man isn't it weird to have like an attractive dad on the show i texted courtney from two judgey girls i was like you know what i think larest has to go into your march manness poll this year right like this guy i mean he's handsome yeah he's handsome he's handsome like i would say that loress i would say he qualifies to be a hot dad The rest is a hot dad, and I just want to put it out there.

I feel like we have not. I'm sorry. Did you not watch Nicole's final season with her father? That guy was a stud. R-I-P. That guy was hot as hell. Yeah. Well, the point is that Kiki comes from good stock.

So they say hi, and this is the resolution of the storyline, which, you know, I'm so happy that they gave Kiki a storyline this season. I can't say I'm very compelled by it. So I sort of like, I'm rooting for her. But basically, it's that everyone in Haiti thinks that models are sluts and whores and prostitutes. And she is proving that guess what, you're not. When you're a model, you're actually just a professional. So I actually like her storyline because I've never heard any of this stuff before.

You know, it's like fresh. Like the, it's a fresh storyline, which I like, you know, because most of these are just recycled. But I like the whole, like, her family from Haiti is now threatening her. And she had to have her dad go talk to them. I mean, she's got a lot going on that one, actually. I kind of like she does. She does, but like I also felt like I felt like we sort of put a pin in it a few episodes ago. So it's like, it's one of those things where it's like it's back.

And I'm like, oh, okay. We're still trying to tell this dad that like what she does is actually something you should be proud of. He also got her dad to eat salmon. So it's, I mean, it's going a pretty good clip for me. So he's like, oh, you look so. gorgeous, my daughter. And she's like, oh, the first time you're going to see me do a photo shoot, first time. So I'm excited. You're here. Look, my dad's so proud of me. My dad kicked me out for modeling. But now, I'm modeling. So she models. And he's like, wow, you're modeling.

She's like, look, I'm modeling. He's like, this is crazy. You're modeling. She's like, dad, papa, I'm modeling. And so that's, that's good. Yeah, and he takes, he's like taking videos. He's like a proud dad and everything. It's exciting. now she's happy because he's proud of her. So now we go to Larson's new home and she is, she's outside and there's like this big piece of like fake Jeff Coon's art that's being unloaded into her backyard. I just like, wow, this is like gorgeous like. It's like, oh my God, I love it.

Like a big metallic, like animal like, this is amazing. And apparently it's a piece of conceptual art from someone named Wisby or oh no, I'm sorry. I thought his name was Wisby, but it's WH, then it's capital I S, and then it's B. Like, who is he, B? Who is B? Who is B? Who's B? I don't know if this guy is a big artist or not, because if he's a big influential

artist, then I'm making a fool of myself. But if he's just a guy, then I am doing my job well, which is being like, who the fuck is this person? Wisby. Yeah, that's what I would call him. He's a street artist, okay? And he's super into gummy bears. He does gummy bear art.

That's what he does. He's got gummy bear art. And if you look him up, you can see lots of gummy bears. He does gummy bear paintings. He does gummy bears. I think I've actually seen these small gummy bears, big gummy bears. I mean, is that even legal? Those are already a thing.

I think I actually have seen this stuff around. But either way, Wisby, he's actually like, I feel like he's like one of these people who's like a model turned artist. He sort of has that look because he's like a very good looking guy. But then he's like, look, I do like oversized Jeff Coon's like art. It's like my own thing. But they're literally all gummy bears. I guess I would suggest that Wisby maybe, you know, show some artistic growth. I don't know.

Maybe like a gummy worm. Why are we not seeing gummy worms by pools? You know? Branch out, babe. You can do more. You're so talented. It's like when you take a drawing class when you're young, like I used to trace stuff. And I figured out how to draw a, like an eye.

Like, that was my first thing. And I would just draw eyes everywhere. And my mom told a shrink when I was a kid, shocker that I had to go to a shrink when I was a kid. But she was like, he's drawing eyes everywhere. And they were trying to like figure out why I kept drawing eyes. It's literally all I knew how to draw. Okay.

So then I branched out and I learned how to draw droopy dog from the cartoons. And then I was drawing droopy dog everywhere. And I'll bet that really threw him for a fucking loop. So I think it was. We've got the same problem. Go to a child therapist. I'm just confused everybody. That's my advice.

Well, Wisby, I'm on Wisby's Wikipedia page. Withby does seem to be, by the way, a legitimate artist. And I'm like, Who's Wisby? What's Kim Chi?

But he's a legitimate artist. The Wikipedia page, that's a call back to Food Network Star where they were auditioning people and someone had to cook with kimchi and she acted like it was an alien species. Cam Chie! Kim Chai!

What is this? What am I supposed to do with this? Stanky stuff? I don't even know what this is. Who knows what KMT is? KM.C. So this is what's funny to me. This is the Wikipedia page for Wisby.

It says, WISB is a New York City-based street artist of unverified identity known for both the street art and fine art. So is that meaning that we don't know what his real name is if it's an unverified identity or is like we don't know who he is. Because if we're not supposed to know who he is,

I'm just blew the top off that one. Why do we have a Wikipedia? Am I right, ladies? I think it's kind of going against Wisby's brand. All right. Last time I checked, you didn't have a boat like Dick. Am I right, everyone? Wisby, more like cocky.

Can he get me one? I'll tell you who you're not finding any in a phone bunk. Wisby, am I right? Wisby to Wisby or to not Wisby, that is the question. Who is this guy? Am I right? Unverified identity. The only reason why he's unverified because no one even cares to know what his name is in the first place.

how you guys like this is larsa here's my feet okay look look at this sick like beautiful bear just like got like like like the man the like legend the like whiz like bee like himself came here to like give me like a bear like okay that's that's your payment thanks for coming over with me you just got you just got instagram by larza pipin congratulations you like rich like yeah unfortunately he's not a basketball player so i won't be having a relationship with him so he can need them this is like my first official night in like my new like house like and like the only thing done is the kitchen in the living room and like my bedroom in the backyard is like under construction bye whizby bye you can leave now so like um yeah i didn't stay under budget like this house caught me costs me like a fortune like we see it costs like five million dollars yeah and everything's still under contression construction. Everything's still under construction. And hell, no, I didn't like stay. So Stephanie arrives and she's like, oh my God, it's a house. It's a house under construction. I really thought this house was going to be more done, but it's like not done.

It's like living in a construction zone. This is crazy. Like I'm coming over to visit somebody when their house is under construction. Port favor, senior, could you give us some privacy? Sorry, I just amused to saying that in construction sites. Sorry, Larsa. So it's just, it's an instinct. I thought you were like,

and I have like a pajama party like with me like, why are you in like clothes like? She's like, oh, I got them in my purse. Okay. I mean, I was expecting furniture, but there's no furniture because it's a construction zone. This is nuts. This is like the craziest thing I've ever seen.

They toast and then Alexia shows up. And she's like, oh my God, this is like beautiful. Like, this is like almost as nice as like the Alexia and Frankie Beauty Lab. Like this is actually so beautiful. Like you're moving into construction. Everything's going on. Like it's crazy because like taught it.

like we're under construction. It's basically like moving into Todd. You're in Todd right now. I love it. But like this is like the first like house like that I've like owned by myself like. So like it's like totally different like sensibilities than like my house with like Scotty. Like I'm a girl, you, you've changed your faces more times than you've changed the house. Oh my God.

They show her back and they just show her from behind. I was like the editors really like you this season for giving you that. Yeah. Well, it's actually really funny as we see a side by side of the house she lived in in 2010. this house. And the one in 2010 was sort of like maybe faux Tuscan-ish or whatever. Yeah, like Tuscan faux painting. And then this one is like a stark, cold, you know, modern Miami house. And I just thought it was so funny when she's like, now I can decide how I want my house to be. It doesn't have to be super masculine anymore. Do you, did you see the before

and after? Like, you're actually, you're in like the, you're like in the cold European male house right now which like yeah finally a feminine house nothing but concrete walls the other one was just floridalee everywhere and like faux painting she's like oh my god it's like so manly like that manly house i'm just so glad i could be in just like a woman's den with stainless steel surfaces and right angles it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappence commercial So they talk about the kids, and her kids are really excited because Preston's graduating, so he's going to come home. But Sophia wants to stay in L.A. for high school. And she's like, yeah, and like, I can't be that mom that's like, no, you have to, like, come here and, like, finish high school.

Like, you're like, like, that's just not, like, fair, like. Plus, like Sophia would always be like you're like. So that's gross. So, you know, like, like, like it's on, like autopilot. Yeah. Like, my kids are on, like, autopilot, like. So, which is my way of saying. This way I don't have to deal with him.

I can just be here and do my TV show. Yeah. So, Alexia is saying, so what do you do with all this big house then? If you don't have the kids, like, what are you going to do? Do you want Frankie to come over? He likes big houses. He can walk around. You can do stuff in front of Frankie.

He loves that. You can, yeah. You know what? You know what I love about the super feminine house that you can just fit it with men? You can have like lots of men here. There's probably a room for AC for Jodi. Like, you can have so much fun here with the other men here. Let me ask you like a question they're like,

Alexia, like, what's quite like going on with you like and your man like? Oh, I don't know. You know, because Todd and I were like dating again. We're having so much fun because like we're dating, you know. So like we're together. So it's fun. But like, isn't like the three month extension like almost over like?

Yeah. It's done like January 1st, something like that. Like January 1st exactly like possibly maybe around then. But January 1st, yeah, on that day. First, you have like a couple of weeks like? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we haven't talked about it. Like, we haven't talked about it, though, but it's like coming, like, yeah, it's coming.

He's going to, like, bamboozle you. Like, he's going to give to bamboo. Oh. Oh, bamboos and it means. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like bamboo. Mm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right, you know? And, like, I've given them a lot of power because, like, I want a peace. So, like, I gave him power. And so, like, now we're happy. And, like, now he's going to bamboozle me.

Yeah. You're right. It's going to be fun. Yeah. Stephanie's like, you're not a piece. You're not a piece at all. Unless you have a private jet, your list, not at peace. Everyone knows that.

Yeah. And she's like, if he decided we need to move, if, you know, move forward, you know, you're not going to be like, yeah, I don't want to move forward either. Yeah, but like, well, I don't know because like, I have other things to say, but like, I'm not going to say him right now because like I could, I could really do it. I could say it, but I'm not going to say it because like I'm, I'm together with Todd right now and totally bamboozles me. What's bamboozled, by the way?

That's a good thing, right? Is that like propose again? Oh, you know what? Like, the girls, they have a right to feel the way that they do, if anything. Like, I love all of them for protecting me and, like, for showing me that they care so much. But I'm, like, in love with him and, like, I want to be with him. Because, you know what? Like, all narcissists deserve to die, but also they deserve love.

And I want to love to talk to. So we go to Julia's, and she's with Jackson and Luca. And they're packing little Christmas present gift things, like kind of food gifts or thing, something like that for her daughters. And she's like, okay, Luca, Jackson. Didn't you help me? We're going to make a package for Vika and Emma. When she was a little girl, they love some Russian chocolate. So let's pack for your sisters.

Okay. Now, which one for Vika? And he's like, that one. Okay. And this one is for Jackson. Like, no, not for Jackson. Jackson later. This is for Vika.

This is for Emma then. Okay, goat. And this one goes for goat. When do we get something? I do not know. No, this is going to be bittersweet Christmas because I'm not going to, it's not going to be because we have our boys, but because both my daughters won't be with us. We are not going to be full house for Christmas. So we get clips of her basically being an absentee parent this whole time.

She's like, your grades, how are your grades, Emma? And she's like, Mom, do you even know the name of my school? And she's like, oh, my God. What's the name of my school, mom? Oh, gee, come on, Emma. Emma. Goat Academy? Goat,

Goat, Harvard, Goat Lake. Calend school. So Martina comes in. It's like, what are we up to in here? Or packing some snacks for those ungrateful bitches, you berth? It's like, oh, we're having fun, making Christmas presents. Oh, gosh, I need a picture for Vika like that with you hugging,

Martina and Wacky Hat. Let's do it, boys. So they take little cute Christmas videos. And she's like, Vika, Emma, this is our pre-Christmas. Do you miss us? We miss you. Come back to us. Say hello.

Say hello, replacement of Vika and Emma. Say hello. Remember Vika and Emma when we used to do these photos with you? Oh, of course not, because we never did it. But we do it with the new tube, what we call them, the doovers. So come on, come home with us. This is Mulligan and the Mulligan number two. Mulligan and Dewey Over.

So then we see her crying to her friend about not having her daughters anymore. And so Martina's like, well, chocolate gets them every time. That should be an easy choice. And she's like, well, but now things are better with the daughters. No. And so she's talking about during Thanksgiving, she had a conversation with Emma and it shifted. and Vika probably did her little magic because they finally understood

there's room for everybody and I can just not wait for them to see them oh no, you're eating Emma's chocolate. Why are you eating Emma's chocolate? Oh God, the children won't speak to me now. I cannot send them half-eaten chocolate. Well, you definitely look less stressed now that you've had a breakthrough with one of those girls.

I mean, I felt really hopeless. I was really upset about what I was doing to you more than anything. Those two little ungrateful bitches, we gave them a whole modern house and pre-art and this is how they repay us? I don't think so. It was almost enough to paint them and throw

tennis balls at their faces and try and let Adriana sell him at Arbazal. Well, Vick could tell me in her mind, you know, if we could have adopted the boys while they were living in the house, the girls would, it would have been easier for them. Oh, God, you're kidding. Get out. Get out of Dodge. Come on. That's ridiculous. Okay. Oh, wow.

They would have liked it better. That'll make any sense to me. And Martina's totally right. These girls are totally lying. They would have been, well, the girls just wouldn't have been happy no matter what. Obviously, they didn't, they were uncomfortable with the idea of suddenly having like two new siblings and they've probably felt replaced or jealous or whatever it is. We don't really, we never really found out what was bothering the sisters. But now they're saying like, oh, we could have been there. We could have been part of the process, but it's just something sprung on us.

I think they would have been unhappy no matter what. Yeah. And Martina's not having it. She's like, well, it could have gone either way. It could have, whether they were here or not, I think the way it went, because we adhered to their wishes, they didn't want to know about the process. So we didn't tell them until it was too late for them. So they don't want to know. They don't know.

Now they're mad they don't know. Oh, come on. I can't. Yeah. She's like, these two spoiled brats travel the world. We give them everything. And now we do something for ourselves and they're mad about it. I'm not going to stand for it.

Yeah. She's like, Martina, you're so grumpy. Why do you need to talk about this stuff? I'm just being realistic. Your daughters are bitches. The end. It's pretty much. So then we go to Lisa's house and there's a chef who's made some little sushi and stuff and the kids are there.

And she's like, guess what kids? Jody surprised Mommy tonight and we're having a romantic dinner. Isn't that sweet? You want some. And then Jody's like, yeah. Oh, are you? Yeah. You ever try that before?

It's like, what? Oh, she? What? Are you saying her? Are she? Ha, what I love about Jody is he's all about not being able to say Hamachi properly, the family. It's just so sweet. Hamachi.

Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, d. Read my blinks, read my blinks, huh? Marty. Is he holding a gold, a goldfish in his mouth? Is he afraid that, like, or like a bird? Is there a little parakeet in his mouth at the moment he opens his jaws, this bird's going to go flying out? He really is.

I think I made this comparison before. He is like, when me and my little sister were young, we would go under the water in the swimming pool and then talk to each other and then see if we could figure out what the other person was saying. And it was always like, like you said bingo was his name. Oh, no, I said you're stupid and fat, you know, stuff like that. But that's how Jody talks.

Yeah, well, he's so great with my kids. He loves them and my kids come over and they're always like Jody, Jody, Jody, Jody. And he's always like, I'm watching them together. Let's get a glass of wine. Adios, kids. I'm going to go cry for Jody and beg him to marry me so I don't feel like a loose woman. So they go outside and she's telling us she got the second chance at a family. She's always dreamt of this.

It makes me feel, look at this. we're having a special dinner, Jody, almost like something special's about to happen. Ring finger, ring finger lonely, Jody. Yeah, no, I don't think so on. I don't know. I don't know what you're saying, Jody, but like I know I just got divorced,

but I don't like the term girlfriend. What I like is wifey to be, give me a ring, okay? And I think I'm just too old to be called a girlfriend. I mean, I would never like to say that I'm too old, but let's be honest. I'm a little too old for this. So I can't be with someone honestly going on three years and not at least be engaged.

She's like, oh, I don't know. What? You agree? No, I don't agree. You want him, Achi? No, I don't know. I don't know, Joey. Why don't you text it to me?

I disagree with you. Look, I don't want to pressure you or nothing. I just want you to marry me right fucking now where I'm out of here. Do you want to send me? You need to set me free. Be with me forever and set me free. No pressure.

No pressure. Well, do you think that, there's somebody else who would have sat through the seat that I sat through for the past two years? Is there anyone else in your life that was stood here and took everything that I'm doing in the last two years? I do love frigate Tony. Thank you for asking.

And the shady, shady editors then cut immediately to Lenny saying almost the exact same thing, saying, do you think there's anybody other than me that could put up with you? Yeah. That's not the best way to word it. But I know what Jody's saying. I thought Lenny was a monster. But I do see what Jody's saying. He's like,

I've just been through complete trauma with you. It's not like I don't love you. You know, like I've been here. Hopefully he wasn't being. Lenny's version was like, you're so shitty. There's no one else that would like you except for me.

And then Jody is like, no, look, I wouldn't still be here. Given all the, all the things that have happened, I wouldn't still be here. Yeah.

But that was shady. That was a shady edit. It was a shady edit. So Jody's like, listen, I need him all here that I like, get engaged in work towards marriage that I'm not walking into chaos because anytime something happens there's always this chaos as Lenny and this and that and like if you go through shit

and I can deal a shit but I'm not here for us when you go through shit like you take it out on me I'm sorry were you saying that we should go to the movies no I'm just saying can I tell you that well make a difference is basically he basically like can you just go to therapy well he's saying like you've been going through trauma but then you yell at me and you're constantly taking your trauma out on me it makes it sound like he's getting screamed out all the time is what i'm getting from this and she's like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm sorry and he's like you know and if i saw you he literally says if you go to therapist or just start talking to someone start dealing with this like yeah i'll give you a ring right away it's i actually thought like

that considering the weird ultimatums we've seen on bravo this is one of the more reasonable ones like Listen, I just need to start working on some of your emotional shit a little bit. And then I'm ready. I just stop, you know, torturing me. He's like, if you just stop torture me. And he doesn't even make her go to therapy. He's like, I mean, even if you went to therapy or started books, even that, he would buy the four agreements. Okay, buy that.

It's very short. Listen, you can do it. We'll get married. We're so close. We'll open up an audible account for you. Just really anything, anything, an instruction manual. If you could just tell me how the car works, I'll be happy. I just wanted to see a page turn.

One page. And she says she's going to work on it. And I've never been so angry. This shit has made me angry. This shit has made me different. You motherfucker! It's like, okay, okay. Put down the knife.

Put down the knife. Can we just eat our haunchy and vise? What? Can we just eat our hansi in viz? I don't see hot pockets here, but I'm down. Where are they? So they kiss. And it looks like it's all going to work out, guys.

And now it's day one of Art Basel And Julie is at home getting her makeup done And she wants to do sexy smoky Always sexy smoky And then Stephanie is getting her hair and makeup done And they're trying to come up with something crazy Because it's Ork Basel I'm crazy bitches

Don't you come from me This is what I'm trying to give That's what I want to give with my fashion So just put a gigantic no whammy's button In the middle of my chest I know just put the staples like that was easy button on my chest whatever it's crazy so it looked crazy that button it was definitely like no whammies family feud buzzer whatever door knob so

adrianic gets out of her SUV um and she goes there's a place called higher ground that seems to be attached to the arlo hotel or something and she goes up to this big party this big glamorous party that looks actually pretty amazing and they go and they walk through like there's going to be 2,500 people coming to the party and they go to this gallery and Adrian was like, oh, look at these smudges on canvas. I love it. What I love about this artist is that he's from Britain and he paints like the great masters. He has a brush stroke of Rembrandt and the creativity of Dolly and one of the ears of Van Gogh, but obviously we know the second one. This better work because I have a successful event because I put a lot of money to make tonight.

happen. So this is called the higher ground because it's up like 30 flights of stairs or something shit. Oh my god. That is insane. I'm like, what about an elevator? Okay. In those heels. Let's help some people out. They've got the craziest heels too. So Larza comes,

you know, everybody's coming and Larza immediately starts some shit. She's like, so like what's going on? Like, like you look like 30 years old. Like you look so beautiful. By the way, though, like that was so weird about that like cake like had all those numbers on it. And it was like, that cake was like, you're an old dumb, like, bitch like, remember? The cake was like,

oh my God, like, remember I had the cake that it was just like one big crutch? Remember it was like shaped like a crutch? That was so mean. Like, who did that like? That was mean like. They made us do math like. That was so mean like. Who wrote that like? He was like, I don't know. I don't know, but I wasn't very happy about it. I don't know who would do such a mean-spirited thing. But when I find out who did, that person is going to get the peace of my mind. My old mind, that is, because that's, that equation wasn't even written nicely. I wish my artist had done it. The brush stroke of a Rembrandt, the palate of a Matisse, the vaginas of a Georgia O'Keefe.

Beautiful. So Stephanie comes and she's dressed crazily and they get some drinks and stuff. And she's like, I'm so happy to be with you guys. You know, I really enjoyed the cruise. Maybe I'm starting to fit in, you know. I don't know at this point with how I'm going to handle Marisol. Killer, push her down the stairs. I mean, this is a good place for it.

But I'm not really sure. But, you know, she's slivers. You know, she's slivers. So she's getting ready for a big fight with Marisol, which she's going to lose. So I don't, I don't, I would never bet on Stephanie to win a fight against Marysol. We've seen her try it a few times and she just, Marysol disarms her so easily. Yeah, she really does. So then Marisol and Alexia are arriving and talking about Thanksgiving and Alexia is like, oh, well, you know, I had dinner with the boys and Peter's girlfriend, which I loved. I loved it, but Todd didn't come over because he had dinner with his mom and his daughters and like other narcissists. And we saw each other the night before after that. And like, not that night, but like, you know, they call it narcissistic giving and they basically make people bring them turkeys. And so it's like fun. I love it so much. His family came over on the narcissism flower. That's just how they do it. So, yeah, like we were hanging.

out with you, oh, you know, Peter's girlfriend, who is like a turkey. Like, this girl was just like a turkey. It's so crazy to, like, be sitting at the table with a turkey, like eating a turkey. But, you know, she was there. So what did you guys do? I'm saying, well, listen, when you don't talk about Todd, you know, I don't ask about Todd. If you're not going to talk about him.

She was, well, well, I don't want to be talking about Todd every day, you know. She's like, I don't want to be like Lisa, Lenny, you know? Yeah. I'm not going to be like Lisa and just talk about him every day. It's like, well, in my brain, if you're not talking about them, then that's not good. So then I don't ask, oh, you know why? Because you're negative. That's what?

That's why. I understand and respect the way Marisol feels, you know, like an old dumb lady. But there's like, comes to a point where like, no matter what you say, it's not going to influence me in my decision. Okay. I've just had a team narcissism. That's me. Okay. And then a week earlier, we see them like we see that dinner they had where Marisol ate nothing.

and Marisol's talking about she doesn't like Todd so like she says you know I have to shut off the noise because like you know at the end of the day it's not between our friends it's between Todd and I

shut off the noise you are the noise yeah like at the end of the day you get nada for nada you know that's all you can save for the life of the povres

that's it you know that's what I'm saying so she's like nothing's changed Marisol all right well it'll be what I'll be you know

okay Sarah Sarah I was saying. You know, I mean, that's one of Dick's favorite songs. I mean, he's just had everybody sing it to him at Branson. God, I love Dick. I miss Dick. I wonder what Dick would feel about you being back with Todd. I don't think Dick would like this, Alexia. So Julia arrives and joins Larsa and Stephanie and Adriana. And then Stephanie and Larsa have a, you know, go off to talk. And then Larson's like, so, so like not a good Stephanie, like, I don't know if you remember, but like, you know, Adriana's cake had like a bunch of math equations on it. It's like really confusing. And I was wondering if anyone had a calculator because I still don't know what number it landed on. I love the most thing, the most offensive thing that's happened to Larsa this season is that there has been math on a cake. She's like, yeah.

Oh my God, like the math. There was like math like that's just like unfair like. Like I don't even how to know how to like do that like. Like what am I supposed to like at a cake? What am I like Feinstein? Yeah. That's like hard. Like math is like really hard.

So like when you do it like on a cake, it's hard because like also like the cake is a circle. So then you're like rotating it and you're like, wait, if high is math and why is this on cake, it's like using like. So how much like on my fingers when I'm like holding a piece of cake like? It's just like I'm fair like. So then they do a whole bit about who could it be who are the suspects? They go through this whole thing. First of all, can we just say not that big of a deal? Your friends threw you a birthday party.

They were really nice to you. They got you kind of a hideous cake, but, you know, they made the effort. And you're 59, and you're going to have, that's something you have to deal with. It's just, it's not torturing you. Yeah, you're gorgeous, and it's not torturing you by saying happy 59th birthday. Was it slightly tasteless? Sure. I mean, maybe it's because I've already heard the explanation for this, that I have this opinion.

I don't even think it's, was it maybe a bad joke? Sure. But it's like your friends, they're fucking with. you. This is not the end of the world. And Larza, getting this woman riled up is Craig, like, don't do this. Please don't do this. Because this was dead and done. They've already had Thanksgiving. Okay. Like they, they went, they did the Bravo, whatever it was the Miami, whatever they did last year. The fan fest thing. Fan fest. They went and did the cruise. Then they all went off to Thanksgiving. And now it's Art Basel, which means it's probably December 4th or 5th or

six or something like that. So it's been like two weeks. And now, Lars is like, well, remember that frosting? That was so offensive, that frosting. I'm like, really? I guarantee, even if Adriano was like, that's like tacky, like she's, she's over it, but you're, you're bringing it all back. Now, it's like, you know, people do birthday cake things where they say like, oh, I'm not turning 40. It's like, I'm turning 20 times two, right? It's like a way to say it differently. And I think it like, Kiki just did it wrong. Obviously, she did it wrong. She was like, oh, it's she tried to do the, I'm 32 times two, but that doesn't work. Yeah.

So minus five. And then she's like, oh, in case you can't tell that's 59, which is like, no, you mess that up. Yeah. But Larsa is trying to turn this into like the biggest, most defensive thing that could have happened. Yeah. So they're trying to figure out who is dead it.

So they're all like coming up with the biggest, you know, suspect or whatever. But it's funny because then they get to Lisa. And Larsa's like, maybe like Lisa, but like I don't think Lisa can count like that high like. And Stephanie goes, yeah, I don't think that ultra was her thing. Lisa. We're basically counting. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

So then Lisa shows up. And Alexia has an announcement. She goes, guys, guys, you have to listen to the story. Okay. I go to Lisa's apartment after Thanksgiving. And we ran into each other at Thanksgiving dinner at like Prime 1.1.2. 112. And then she invited me to like to her house to have a drink.

And then she had bought like two Christmas trees. And Jody's like, oh, yeah. Like, Lisa hired somebody to put up the Christmas tree. Like, it cost me $1,000. It's not a great story, guys. Isn't that kind of normal for rich people to do that? Yeah, it is, right? Wait a second.

The point of the story that Lisa put up a Christmas tree for $1,000 was the point of the story that you can understand what Jody was saying. Exactly. Okay, like, do it yourself. So, like, we had $1,000, like, and it tells you to take it off? Like, what? But, Julie, it's like, 79, 99. This is what I paid for my tree.

This is what I did. Marisol's here. Monkey. I mean, sorry, monkeys here. Monkey. We just heard about your tree. What a disaster. What an awful, awful trial of tribulation.

Venga. Say, por favor of all. Di me, what's up with the tree, monkey? You know, Victoria and Emma are like, this is why we're not coming home. Mother. Because you're a shitty, cheap, $80 tree. Give us a $1,000 tree, mother. I cut myself every time I pass that wiery-ass tree.

You are married to a sports icon and the best you can do is an $80 fucking tree. Now you want us to be happy about it. Oh my God, Lisa, listen to this. Julia buys her own Christmas tree at Home Depot, and she decorates it. What do you think of that? That's what she does.

She does it herself. She's like, I don't see the problem. I'm hiring someone to put up a tree. Listen, it's not hurting anybody. I'm literally helping the economy. Oh, look at Lisa. Lisa Hoxstein, the very godmother of trickle-down economics. It's mystery buying.

Listen, it's better than dribble down dinner, which is what I had with Jody last night. God, watching that man try to chew. Can't wait to marry him. So, are Adriana's birthday cake on the cruise? This is Stephanie talking, by the way. Adrianna's birthday cake on the cruise, did you see it? Yeah, oh, yeah, I saw it. Yeah, I saw it.

I did. Because Larsa is trying to piece together who did it. Like, do you know? Do you even know who did it? Can't stop pass on, King. Can't stop as a son, no. What we wanted to know, who put the numbers on the cake. Who put the numbers on the cake?

Someone put numbers on cake. Okay. We know. They're like, oh, yeah, I already know who it is. We know. It's like, oh, well, because it was supposed to be a big mystery and we're supposed to, like, have a big fight and we're going to accuse each other and, like, maybe frame Julia for it. And then, like, get to the bottom of it.

And it was, but you guys know, oh. Yeah, I'm really tired. Doesn't it tell us before we start the scene? Yeah, that's episode 16. I just don't have time for this. It was Kinky. And Kiki did it. Yeah, so you guys don't want to have like a fight about it.

You just want to, like, you're just going to say who it is. You don't want to like make it like a, you know, I want to like to do like a cover up and then like, like, like, like, like three episodes of like, you know, like, who knows you know, do you want to say. Kiki did it. No. Terrible. Kiki. It was Kiki. It was Kiki.

Lee La Terribile. Okay. That's it. I said it. There I said a. Sorry, Doc. I know Richard Branson. Kiki and Gertie are driving along. And Kiki's like, have you talked to any of the girls? And the cruise? Oh, yes. Well, I texted Adriana. And then she was like, who put the numbers on the cake? And I was like, I don't know. So who did it? And he's like, I did it. Oh, I thought we were going to like do a round of like it could have been. So it was. It was like, uh, no. You're just going to, you're just going to admit it. We're not going to like. Yeah. It's not going to. You're not going to. You're not going to. deny it and then like admit it cheerfully it was kiki it was just oh it was just you it was just it was me okay i did it right i did it you know we still like we still have another episode left for season finale that it could have come out in right well let me tell you you want another episode my father had never seen a birthday cake with numbers on it and now he has right but that's fair so that's fair that's fair so kiki explains that when they're on the boat like you know what what they were talking about like

what was like um an age that you'd want to go back to and then adrianna had said 32 and so and we see we see a i guess like um so how old would you want to be and adrian said 35 whatever so then kiki was like she'd tell i like it said not alexia on the screen it said ding ding ding ding not 32 so kiki's like so on the cake i came up with this little idea but if it's not her age it's like it's like more like math which is fun And Alexei goes, and how are you going to do that, like math? Like, you know, it's, it's us, right? No, I put like 32 times two, but it's like minus five because you need to get to the 59, right?

Because 32 time 32 is 64. Like, I'm not following. How is 42 and 32 64? Yeah, like that's a lot of numbers that don't like make sense. Like you got 32 minus five. Like what is, what even is that? Like how am I supposed to do that? If you put the 32 year olds together, they're not like Adriana's age.

That doesn't make sense. Yeah, like, I don't get it. That's stupid. Like, I don't get it. Maristow's like, oh, me commas. All right, you know what? You do it. Go ahead and you do it.

And then we're just going to sit back and watch this with popcorn. It's going to be fun. It's got to be ridiculous. Like, yeah, because it's going to be funny. Stupid. I am feeling awful because I didn't want her to feel like I was age-shamming her, which is why at the time when it happened, I said absolutely nothing. and then the next time I get

Adriana cake, it's just going to say, happy birthday, you were the most beautiful woman on earth or even better yet, shoot, maybe I don't even give her a cake at all. Look at her vibrators, right? sneaky, kiki talking, vibrators. I actually laughed at that. She had funny timing.

It's like, yeah, maybe I don't even give her a cake next time. Next time I give her vibrators. It's like, there it is, there it is. So now everybody is coming to the venue. Gertie's tripping. It's like, up, up, I stuck the landing. I almost tripped, but I got it, stuck it, nailed it, gertified that curb. And then they're all looking at art, and Adrian's like, everyone, please welcome.

This is Chris Rivers. He has the brush stroke of early caveman and the color palette of Kate Blanchett in that one movie where she was an artist, I think. It wasn't her. It may have been someone else. Chris Rivers, Larsa, Pippen, Julia Lemingova. This is all of you. Brilliant artist, people I kind of know on TV who are mostly horrible. And he's like, hello, nice to meet you.

Like, is this like all your work like? That's like crazy. Did you just like sign it or is it like your work? Do you know Wisby? Because I do. He like gave me free stuff. You make gummy bears. Yeah, do you make gummy bears?

Gummy bears are real art. Like, what is this? Like you put paint on stuff? That's disgusting. I don't get it like. This artist is. It's beautiful. It's sick. This art is so sick.

Wow. It's like Whisbee level. But like, it's like if you took a gummy bear and like flattened it and then put in a frame, that's like what your art is. It's like wisbee flat. That was... Sick. This is your art? Wow. Amazing. Good for you. You look terrified. Was it scary art? Why are you shaking? Why are you hiding behind that lady's me?

You look very scared. Wow. Art from a terrified, pasty person, everybody. Give him some applause. Not too loud. He's very scared. Oh, by the way, say, I had a dick for me. You're going back to Britain, aren't you?

Okay. And this lady Jennifer comes out and thank you all for coming to our show. I'd like to introduce Adriana, although everybody knows her, right? She's been around for 59 years at this point. Am I right, everyone? How dare you? I'm going to throw you down the stairs of the higher ground. Okay, thank you.

thank you to Chris Rivers. Okay, Chris, come up. He's hiding under the table right now. Chris, come up and say hello. Okay, you know, you won't do it? Okay, Chris did it. Thank you, everybody. Now, open your wallets and start buying pieces.

Yeah, like, maybe, like it's some gummy bears or something like. He flew all the way over the pond to get here, or should I say the rivers, because that's his last name. He has the brush stroke of Anna Pac-win when she's painting in her off time. but the taste level of the guy from Dunkin' Donuts who decides to make one donut really nice. The brush stroke of Anna Pac-Wan and the follow-through of Pac-Man. The dedication of the ghosts,

but the perseverance of Pac-Man. So she introduces him to Lisa, and Lisa's like, oh, my God, you're painting these, let me touch him. I'm like, no, you can't touch the art, girl. you're buying the art now. I'll take it. I'm like seriously going to take it, okay?

It's 18,000. What do I care? I love art. I collect art. Like when I moved to the Star Island house, it was all art. That was my art. And we see the picture. We just see a picture of like Lisa naked, but like painted over.

It's like yeah. It's all like that's some serious art. It's like fake Lincolnstein art of her. Be like, look at me. Pop art. It's like fake warhols like her in the soup can. I love Lisa. like, I love art. That's why I always

touch it with my full hand. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Lisa, you got Tamachi on the art. Oh, so Marisol, let's talk to stuff. Marisol's stuff in Italian. So what did you guys do for Thanksgiving? I haven't had

Instagram since I lost my phone. I would assume your husband's still on Facebook. I would have to check there anyway. So how's my fellow senior doing? Do you guys have fun? well we were in we were in Canada how about you well I went to the yacht club with Steve and Hunter we sat around the piano saying some peaches and cream you know it's not the same having Thanksgiving with a family you know but I don't have my family around anymore so

anyway if you want to sob for me well you know what family is so important and I don't talk to my sisters because they're bitches which brings me to my topic my sisters are bitches okay when I joined this friend group I felt like I had a connection with you and I don't want to fight with you. She's like, we're going to fight. Why would we be fighting? What are you talking about, Mighty Mouse? We're not even fighting, okay? We're just sitting here around. I thought we're good. We talked. You expressed your feelings. I said your feelings were invalid, and I thought that was a perfectly nice conversation, Mighty Mouse. She's like, um, well, you know, but like, you know, it was before I had my talk with Alexei in the mudroom and in the mudroom, Alexia said

Mary Sol's really upset because you went to lunch with Adriana. And, you know, I think Mary Sol is really upset because Adriana got to fly on the plane first. No one said that. No one said that. You're making it about your fucking plane again. Nobody said Mary Sol's upset that are Adriana's on the plane. Why are you making stuff? You just want people to be upset about your plane.

No one cares about your plane. Okay, Lisa cares about your plane. No one else cares about your plane. Listen, I'm not upset about Adriana flying on the plane. I remove myself from the situation. I told you why I didn't go on the plane. I didn't go because Alexia wasn't included. It was me or her.

And then after that, I didn't want to hear about the cost of it because I don't want to be beholden to anybody. She's like, but it wasn't me, Marisol. It wasn't me who said that. Let me see a flashback that it was Lars. She's spending $40,000 like, that's like two gummy bears that you could put in your backyard that she's not not buying anymore. He's spending it on a plane like. Yeah, and Larza said it, but it's because you told Larsa, which is also you like, being like, oh, my God, I'm spending $40,000 to take these girls on a plane, et cetera, et cetera.

And so Marisol's like, well, listen, I want our friendship to be pure, okay? I want an ever-playing relationship. No, I mean, no, not when you're talking about how much it costs and everything. I just think it's tacky. It's just tacky to be talking about money all the time. She's, by the way, she's saying this in her confessional one. She's like, this is just so tag. This girl, everybody talking about their money in their brain.

She's wearing like Louis Vuitton, Louis Vuitton. Louis Vuitton. She's one of those outfits with the pattern, with the brand literally everywhere. It's like, God, I just hate showy people. Yeah, she's like, oh, God, I just hate a tacky person, cut to Alexia. I was born a star. I was born a star. And Russians are all prostitutes. Just look, you realize the milieu that you're in is all tackiness. Yeah. Only you just not. No, sorry, go ahead, me. Sorry, it's me. It's my turn to talk. Okay, don't act like my sister.

Okay. All right. I think it's, you know what I think is tacky? I think it's very tacky to not go and say to somebody, hey, I'm not going to go on the plane because of X, X, X, X.

And like, I think it's like tacky to send your message through your other friend. And when your room's like three feet away and given what Alexia said in the mudroom, she basically made it seem like it's Marisol behind a lot of the things she does. And she said Marisol, the one that puts all these things in my head. So that's what it's tacky. That's what I think is tacky.

And you know what? I think that Stephanie in this situation is actually correct. It was tacky. Like Stephanie was being tacky about the plane, 100%. But Marisol was being tacky by just being a no show. That's what I say. I think that was, I think it was tacky too. I will give her that. She, I think she's right on that. But then she lies again when she says, Mary Sol is the one that puts these things in my head and she knows I'm the mouthpiece. That's not what she said. She said, Marisol and I, we know, we're two different

people, but just so you know, I'm the one that has the bigger mouth. So I'll say it. But she always thinks like me, if not more. That's not saying she puts the words in her head. That's saying they both have the same opinions, but she's the only one with the balls to say anything. It's not the same thing as being her mouthpiece. I don't think. I don't come in balls ablaze in, but I do come in balls at chugging, right? With Steve, no, anyone? Hey, it's just that like when somebody can't really manipulate you,

they make you feel like you're crazy. And I don't have my feeling, like, I don't have my feelings all over the place. And she's like, what, I, listen, I am the farthest thing from a manipulator. Go to the other side of the room. That's not me. You just get on my face. You need to be on your own for your own issues. Maybe fight with Gertie.

You have an issue with me, okay? Or maybe fight with Adriana. I don't know. Think about it. That's you and you, okay? But I am not a manipulator. Well, if I thought of with Julia, that could be fun too. Oh, Mary.

So give yourself a little credit. You're one of the greatest manipulators in Bravo history. Like, you do a good job. You're good at it. And you do it. You know, take credit. Take credit for things sometime. And she's like, well, her I'm blaming me for problems with a lack.

is crazy. I mean, she was starting nonstop with her ton commentary, which is true as well. I mean, they're both making great points. And I think it's because they're both making points that the other one is an asshole. So I think they're both correct, actually. Yeah. So Stephanie's like, well, maybe this is your norm because you're married to a crazy guy that, oh, sorry, that was a flashback of me. Remember when I said that? That was so hilarious. So Marisol's like, look, has nothing to do with me. And I think everyone here has a little bit of amnesia. Mine comes from all the khakis that I drink all the time. Outrageous. Well, I think that, like, deep down to the core, like, I was hurt, and that's where I'm coming

from. She goes, I'm sorry, you're hurt my any mouse. Like, I knew they're not going on the plane might hurt, you know, and I want to work things out and be friends. I just, you know what, I want to go on that plane one day. I want to poop on your plane, all right? Am I going to get to make a poop on your plane? Jettiquet. It's called Jettiket, okay? And this is the reason why my sisters weren't allowed on the plane. And this is why they won't talk to me to this day because they want to take a poop on my plane. And I said, you can't do that. And then there are these stupid bitches who go off and won't talk to me when I'm the one who just is trying to enforce jetticate, okay? And I feel like we can be great friends if we were just like a little more

straightforward with me, especially if you were more straightforward with me instead of like going through Alexia. You got that, Marisol? All right, fine. Because I love you and I don't want to fight. Well, it's not alone. So then they go look at the art. And now Adriana is introducing her best friend Carol to the artist and she's like um this is Carol she's a fashion stylist she's been dressing me for 17 years she's my ride or die and she's black she's my black friend who's going to stand up for me today does everybody understand this without me labeling it 20 times in this scene okay this is my black friend who's known me for a long time and we'll be able to testify on my behalf in case it needs to be brought up okay great yeah then Carol's like oh Chris Rivers

have a horrible accent. It's like, really? Oh, no. It's like, yeah, it's British. I know. I love it. I love it so much. See, I was being coy. So then outside, Alexia is talking to Kiki, Julie, Maria, Mary, Saul, and Lisa. And she's like, I don't know if you girls know, but Julia always comes to the beauty bar. Okay. So anyways, I was thinking I can have you guys come over sometime this week at the beauty bar and we can teach Lisa how to put up a tree, you know? Because, like, Lisa paid for somebody to do that tree, you know? And it was actually Frankie's idea because we could have a happy hour, you know? But if you're going to fight, don't do it in front of Frankie. Please promise me right now. We're not going to fight in front of Frankie, please. So everything's going nicely.

People are being silly. Larson Gertie are being silly. And then Lisa is with Larsa. And Lisa's like, wow, everyone's getting along, which is it's always the moment someone says that on any of these shows. That's the moment that the villagers close. all the shutters and like turn off the lights and lock the doors. So Lisa and Larsa are hugging and boob touching and stuff. And Julie, it's like, oh my God, can I tell you?

I'm so loving you hugging, but you know, I miss Adriana. I see her standing there and I miss her so much, which is why I never call her, reach out to her, ask her to be godparent of my child, and have befriended her two worst enemies. So I just miss it so much. Yeah. So then they all go like Larsa and Adriana. Larson pulls Adriana,

and she has to get Adriana more angry about the the cake. So they pull over. And then Kiki is confided to Gertie and Alexia about the cake. She's explaining she's how like she feels really bad. It came across as shady and she's trying to be

have light, you know, like trying to bring light to it and everything was fine. It all was dancing and that was the goal. And I'm like that's fine, Kiki, but you you really need to go tell Adriana this because you're running out of time and I know. what happens do it immediately do it immediately right now people so then they're sitting down and

at least goes guys so adriana uh julia was having a conversation and she was saying how much she misses you and she's saying that she misses you so much like she misses hugging the way larsa and i hug come on hug and she's like yes at that moment when i saw you two boob to boob i do i go to go I was like, oh, I thought about you, Adrianna. That's like great. That's like great and like really like touching like. But you know what? Let me ask you a question.

Like, who put the math equation on the birthday cake like? Because like that was math. And it was really like hard like. And I just need to know. The insincerity of this moment of like, let's put, let's pull Adriana and and Julia together to remind them that they can be great friends. But let's also like talk about that icing that we think that Julia did to get at you, Adriana.

Yes, exactly. Oh, yeah, but Kiki did it. Kiki did it? And Larson's like, what? But like we were going to tear them apart? Like, what? Kiki did it? Yeah.

Oh, you weren't supposed to say it out loud, though. Kiki did it. But she should like, no like. And Adriana's like, that was fucking shady. Really, Kiki? Harding me once wasn't enough? So then we see the clip of Stop Being So Ratchet. Did you just call me Ratchet?

You're too old. to be talking like this to people. This is ageism. I love that moment. Every time they show, Kiki's saying, you are too old to be talking like this. I was like, it's so good every time. So mean.

So she's like, you really have to put your meanness in writing? So she's like, talk about my art. Talk about my music. Don't talk about my age. Oh, really? Someone talks about your art and your music and you're going to be okay with that. Come on.

It's like, normally I'm not such a sensitive person. Right. Right, right. But I just don't know why she would do that, like, why would she do that? Well, I don't think Kiki did it in a mean way. But there's like no other way to say it. Like, Julia, stop talking. There's like no other way.

Larsa, there is another way. Actually, you're being an asshole because you are, you're trying to get Adriana mad. And like, there is a way where, like, anyone could see that, like, if that's written on a cake, yes, it could have been, like, done in a bitchy way. But I think most people would give a friend to benefit of the doubt and say, oh, they were trying to make a joke that didn't land. But Lars is like, no, that cannot happen whatsoever. She's like, yeah, she like already called you old.

Do you remember that? Or do you not remember because you're so old? Does your memory going? Sorry. So, yeah, so Julie is like, well, you know, this was maybe a conscious equation. And do you remember when you were like tipsy telling Marisol about her knees, though, Adriana, but I'm older than Marisol and that was okay because Marisol

and I go a long way. It's different. It's different when I'm age-shaming someone. No, it's not really. You're being a fucking hypocrite and you're being a baby about this cake. Just you really are. Okay. Yeah. So you can't be sad about your age and then

also not act it. Okay. But then we get a flashback of my favorite part of the season. Fuck off, you old whore. Get plastic surgery on your wrinkled knees because they need it. So you're defending Kiki. It was great. You're defending Kiki based on what I said, the Maripole, you're defending her.

Like, that's why, that's when you ask me why I'm not close to you anymore. That's because you're defending Marisol and Kiki. She's like, oh my God, you know what? Maybe I'm not so close to you anymore because you're pushing me away because it is so difficult to be around you. She's like, no, because you're so close to them now. She's like, no, because you're difficult. You're not fun anymore. Ooh, that's when someone's already.

feeling sensitive about their age and you say you're not fun anymore right after the birthday. Julia, oh my God, Julia. So she's like, but you're defending everyone else except me. And she goes, and Lisa's like, oh, I'm just happy. It's not us, honey. And Laura says like, yeah, I seem like, love you glad I started this like. I know. Adriana's telling us that my best friend, air quotes,

Julia always side with people that I'm having problem with. But you're always having problems with people, Adriana. Adrianna. Yeah. But that being said, I mean, we all acknowledge and we've seen that Julia basically sold out her friendship with Adriana to be in with the cool kids. But that being said, Julia's like, you know, I have her back all the time, at my own expense, at the risk of losing some new friends of the group.

And we do see a montage of Julia really having Adriana's back a lot. And we also see, I had totally forgotten how Julia, like, poured a bowl of ice or like on Maryland. Marisol at one point. Yeah, she tried it. I guess this is sort of her thing. Yeah, that's her thing. So then, yeah, we see all these clips of her going hard. But, of course, that was last year.

So the argument isn't that she didn't do it, is that she doesn't do it anymore. So Julie is like, but now I see red flag. Red flag that I've not seen over the last few years. And so now, Adriana is like, it's not okay. It's not okay to have prejudice. It's not okay. They're like, what? So now it's starting to turn.

It's starting to go into a weird place. Like, I don't know what she was even meaning with that. So now Alexei comes over. Right. So Alexia comes over to comfort Kiki over the cake. And she's like, once you say your true intentions and you explain it, like there's nothing to argue about. So just do it. Surely she'll be very calm and accepting when you go talk to her.

And if Adriana had said Kiki, I can't believe you wrote that on the cake. That was so mean. Kiki might have been able to explain her side. whatever. But instead, Adriana goes, like, she goes to, like, the, not the nasty place, but she's like, Carol, am I racist? She takes it to the next level of like, we don't have to bring race into this. She goes, Carol, am I racist? She goes, no, you're not. Who says that you're a racist? Well, Kiki is telling me and calling me a racist. And he doesn't realize, I have black friends. Oh, my gosh. So now that we know that, first of all, we know they didn't call her racist.

racist. They didn't even say problematic. They didn't even say as much as we did. I mean, I was like, that is shitty. You can't just be calling a black woman ratchet. Like, they didn't even go that far. They just said ratchet's not a nice word, basically. But whatever she's gotten in her head that she, because she knows, someone obviously explained to her at some point, when you call a black woman ratchet, that is problematic. You can't do that. And so now she's like, oh, so they're going to try and cancel me and make this that I was calling her a word. I didn't call her. I was saying wretched. okay i still think she was saying ratchet like i don't care but um even if she did say ratchet i think that it would be i think it would be understandable if she said look i said ratchet it's something i hear all the time like slaying i didn't i wasn't aware that it was yeah offensive to black women i just thought it was like a general this right that would have been acceptable but then she's making it like no i said wretched because that's such a normal thing to call people too you know the whole thing but then coming back so i think she's been festering thinking oh my god they've been calling they're and they try to insinuate that i was being racist and they're going to try to cancel me

and that's why she's been so sad because after that episode they went they did the bravo fan fest thing and now they're on the boat and she's not talking and i think she's like oh great if i open my mouth they're going to try and come from me and call me a racist yeah that's exactly right that's a really good point so then adrian's like you know they're mentioning my age you know they're shaming my age because i use the word ratches like what rat's rach russian what russet the word ral's like so then carol goes ratchet is a word for everybody it has nothing to do with racism so don't let anybody make you feel that way you know you're not you know what i mean i mean look around you all your friends are chocolate sisters and adrian's like see i have black friends

i was like hey uh not the strongest like not the strongest case here is called racist or problematic and immediately goes, I'm not racist. I have a black friend. My black friend never thinks I'm racist. I'm dating a black person. How dare you? It's like, oh, my God, it's just so cringy. And I hate this for Adriana. I hate this. I know. He's like, Kiki, you're calling me a racist because I used the word ratchet. So Carol has some words from you. Black friend, would you like to say something?

It's basically like a black person has my back. Would you like to say? It was like so, like, it was so cringy. And Kiki's like, who called you racist? She goes, you did. She goes, who told you I called you racist? She goes, because you are saying that I called you Ratchet. I never said you're racist. Tell her, tell her, Carol, tell her what Ratchet means.

It's like so insulting. And then Kiki is turning to Gertie and she's like, she says, I call her racists. And Gertie's like, who? What? Huh? What? What? What?

And they're both like. So wait, she called you a racist? And Adrienne goes, yes. And Gertie says, when, when, when, when tonight? Did this happen to? night? Did it happen after I stuck the landing or before I stuck the landing? Because there's like two times in history tonight. Okay. When did this happen? And she's like, when I used the word ratchet, I meant miserable. Kiki's like, I'm not going to deal with this. Kiki was like ready to apologize. And she's like, oh, no, now you're going to take it to this level. I'm not dealing with this. And she just walks away. He just walks out because Adriana is losing her shit now. And she's like yelling about this shit. And she's like, no. No, she thinks there's a racial connection, which I did not use. By the way, she says, I meant miserable.

Well, that's not what Rretched means either. So Kiki, does it? You could say it. I think miserable and Ratchet are close enough. Okay, I rescind. So Gertie's like, okay, I understand. And she's like, no, it was not racial. So Kiki's like, I never called her racist.

Like, I don't know where she got that from. I don't even understand. Like, I don't think anyone in this group is racist. And she's like, oh, you know. know what had carroll been sitting at that table and if if i use that word would you take it personally carol say it as a black person carol's like no it's carol's like it's like it's fine if carol doesn't it's fine if carol doesn't because you have a different relationship with carroll just as you previously said previously said about five seconds ago how like it's one thing if you age shame marisole

is different than if kiki age shames you because you have a different relationship but like contacts always matters in these things it's just like not uniform and like carroll's experience may be one thing and Carol may receive it in a different way, but like you have a different context with Carol. You have a 17 year long context with her in a way that you don't with Kiki. And also like the surrounding conversation about it is different. The point is Adriana is being ridiculous. And she could have just said,

I thought we had settled this. Why did you make fun of my age on that cake? But I think like, I think your theory is very strong, which is that Adriana is living in fear of quote unquote cancel culture. and she's been festering, and then she's angry about it. She's angry that she's going to get canceled, and she's worked up this whole thing in her head.

And now she's like, it's the last draw. I can't do it anymore. And I've got brought proof that you can't cancel me. And no one's, and meanwhile, everyone's like, we weren't going. Literally, no one was doing that. Oh, my gosh. And so she's like, okay, well, I want Carol, who's a black woman in case you didn't notice,

who I love in the door, to give her position on this. Give her a microphone. Get Carol up. And Gertie is sitting there like, she's telling us, she's like, oh, a little bit less. Like, like, everyone's like, okay. Stay less. I love you, but stay less. So then Kiki does her, like, every season, Kiki does something that's like, wait, what?

And Kiki goes out to the street. She walks up to like an Amazon truck and she's like, I need help. I need to get out of here. Can you give me a ride? Was it production? I didn't know what that was, but I love the idea that it's an Amazon driver. She's like, please, I'm a model, please help. They're like, okay, ma'am, get on in.

I thought that's only happened in the movies. There's always like a movie where some regular person is there and the model has to, I mean, it's Notting Hill. It's like, I need to get away. Take me wherever. That's pretty person privilege, totally. Like, I need to go somewhere. You'll take me right. I'm beautiful.

They're like, sure, get on in. Warhoo. Yeah. So Julia's like, where did she go? She disappeared of some kind of magic. She went out through street. where there are lots of cars and cabs and she disappeared. It's like, yeah, she got a ride.

So, Adrian was like, I don't care about the cake. I care about being called racist because what I meant was W-R-E-T-C-H-E-D, which means miserable, ratchet, okay? Okay, yes, yes, yes, you show me the definition, you know, but Larson's like, yeah, she also speaks five different languages like, so, like, that's my point about something. You know what? There's like math on cake. And I think we need to talk about that.

When I went downstairs, she's gone. I look everywhere. She basically left. She's basically my daughter at this point. Just nowhere to be found. Why are you protecting her instead of me? You're supposed to be my best friend. Martina.

I mean, sorry. God, Martina, I can't believe I just called you Martina when you're just not nearly a sex. as she's. Oh, my goodness. How could I even see that? Really? You're not even worried about my feeling. She called me racist. And I have to call Carol to have my back and not you. How about that? How about what a good friend you are? Oh, yeah. And Julie's like, oh, the problem is she feels like everyone has bad intentions. And that's just not true. She's like, oh, she's trying to get me canceled and get me in trouble and calling me a racist. Carol, who has been my black friend longer than you've been my

non-black friend knows who I am. This is exactly what everyone for years was warning me about and I refuse to listen. I'm ready to go. I think Julia is actually right about something. I do think that Adriana, because of whatever her past experiences in life, does think that everyone has the worst intentions. And what's more problematic is that she just naturally assumes that Kiki is trying to get her canceled. And actually Kiki was not trying to do that at all.

Kiki was merely trying to be like, hey, what you said right there, that's wrong. fucked up. It's problematic. And the fact that Adriana has now imposed this mindset, she's added this thing like, oh, well, she wants to get me canceled. She wants to remove me. She wants to get me fired. The fact that she has now placed this like malevolent scheme on Kiki is that is actually really offensive. And that that is what's more, I think actually almost even more racist. I mean, I don't know, I'm a white guy. But like, like, if that is really the offensive thing when someone's just trying to say, hey, don't call me that because that's like that like upsets me there's a lot of connotation attached to what you just said and adriana takes

it as like now look at her trying to scheme her scheme scheme scheme her way and get me off this show well it's almost like that happened in that that argument app the wretched ratchet thing happened they had the apology and the i'm sorry for calling you old and then she thought okay well maybe i can let this go and then it's immediately like oh now she's fucking with me for a cake so she is still coming for me she is going to come for me and they're going to call me race you know who knows but whatever is going on in her head this was a terrible episode for her oh my god this was just so cringy and so hard to watch i was like you you've been doing so well all season why why it's adriana you can't she can't do well yeah but adriana usually has some

kind of fun aspect to her fights like she's so campy and ridiculous that her fights that her fights are usually kind of funny but this is just oh girl no well no but good episode as usual um so we'll be back next week with the season finale of real housewives of me jam jams yes we will be there and uh thanks everyone for being here today and we will see you all at crappy hour tonight bye bye watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way.

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