Watch What Crappens - #3014 RHOM S7E17 Part One: Slay-bells

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapIt’s the season finale of The Real Housewives of Miami! Adriana has it out with Julia and the other ladies, Stefanie has an old mans balls Christmas ball, and a dog gets it’s own torch song. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Well, hello, and welcome to watch what happens, everybody. So good to see you. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi.

How are you? Wonderful. Happy Monday, my little friend. Thank you. I have to issue a formal apology to the listeners. It's one of those moments. Formal apology, because it came to my attention for my wonderful co-hosts, Ronald, Ronald, Ron and Karam, that for who knows how long.

The audio from my computer, like any, like alerts, like, oh, you got a text message or I'm sending a text message out or whatever. All these little bips and bops and beeps has been getting channeled directly into the podcast audio of the recordings. And so I'm really sorry that you've been listening to this podcast and you're hearing, whoop, whoop, like, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was just a Shannon impersonation because it was like, no, no, no. It's like this on the heels of my microphone acting crazy last week. I just feel like I am failing at the audio game. And so I really, no, for real, I'm really sorry.

That must have been very distracting for people. And I just didn't know. You know what? Everyone checked their phones a few times during that last year. I had no idea. Did I know? No. Did I know?

No. So sorry, everyone. Well, welcome to the show, everybody. it's the real housewives of me jammy finale season finale everybody um it's going to be a super fun one okay monday we have amazon live at 4 pm pacific time you can find details on our um bio link in bio over at instagram so head over there for that also we're on video as we are every day you can watch videos fresh on our patreon and that's also where you get our bonus episodes we just did a great british bake off or baking show

cast roast that was super fun and next week we're gonna do something different and fun too so you never know what you're gonna get so join us over at Patreon and thanks to everybody who joins us over there we love doing our Patreon stuff okay and now

here we are with Real Housewives of Miami what'd you think Ben oh well you know it's Miami always good always good always hilarious always good yes I'm sad as done. I'm sad it's done.

I don't know. You know what? I thought the whole episode was wretched. Wretched. Wretched? Ratchet. It was wretched. Rotchett.

Roshet. So here we are, season seven, episode 17, Frosty Friendships. Ooh. We open it, Mary Sal's home. I'm having a Christmas party. All right, but it's Miami. So it's hot. So we're going to have a pajama Christmas party.

I mean, I have a claw machine, but in the claw machine, you can get jewelry, deos, me else, the best Christmas party anyway is that we're Benjo. I love parties. I love the holidays. I just want to bring a little bit of Christmas to Miami. It doesn't feel Christmassy because it's so fucking hot outside. Am I right? Oh, God, I'm wacky.

Look at my Santa, bro. It's like, oh my God, it's Santa there. There's the Santa if I've ever seen one. Look, it's Santa. Look, it's Santa. So, Santa's waving at Alexia on the phone. She's talking on the phone to her. And Mary's soul's like, yeah, there's no big agenda behind this.

It's just a fun Christmas party. I mean, maybe there's no agenda. Yeah, I love that she thinks people are like, she's having a Christmas party. What's the agenda? And Alexia is like, well, I just want to be there and like have fun with you, you know, girl, but I can't, you know, because, you know, like, I'm having fun in front of Frankie.

You know, I have to undo all the damage that taught did in front of Frankie. you know. So Marisol explains, well, the one time that Bro and I don't communicate, which is, you know, we usually talk daily and she has a Christmas event at her salon. I'm like, this was probably producers trying a last ditch effort to draw a wed, like put a wedge between you two. They're trying, I think all the time to get these two to turn on each other. Like, what if they have dueling parties? And now people have to make a choice. Then they'll get mad at each other. It's just, I don't believe that they didn't know that each other was having a party. This is crazy. I think Mary, I think Alexia was like, no, I'm going to have my happy hour. So you know what? You do what you want. We'll see who shows up where. But we don't really get a fight out of it, which is kind of a fail. There were multiple things actually that were coming to a head that should have been a fight. And people are just getting too mature to fight about it. So they're like, let's not have a fight. And they're like, okay, look at us, not fighting. Because things on Bravo have gotten to the point where you've got Real Housewives of New Jersey being so toxic and fighting so much

that they get put on pause and half fired, you know, for all we know. And, you know, Andy's doing this thing now at the end of reunions where he's like, are you going to make up? Like, so you forgive each other? Where do you see this relationship going? And if they don't see it going anywhere, they're fired. Pretty much is how we've seen it pan out for the past couple of years. And so now on this show, I think they're paranoid.

So they're just trying to make up. But you guys, you have to have the fights and then make up. You can't just make up before the fight. Right. So Alexia is like, well, you know, I was thinking like I can have you, by the way, remember in a flashback, I invited everyone over to my party. No. Okay. So like this was the only day I could do the happy hour. So it's just like really bad luck because the other days I was, um, let's see, Wednesday was a void Marisol. Thursday was a void Marisol. Friday was a void Marisol. So like really this is the only day I could do it. But then she decided to do something my one day where I was on avoiding her. So that's too bad. I love she's, it's a business. Like the only day we could do it was that one day. It's only. It's only. day for the salon. It's like the only day. The salon's not booked at night. Like, okay. So she's like, well, some will come to mine. Someone will go to hers. And it's what it is. She's still my rusty. I'll send you a, I'll send you some gunny bags, honey. She's like, okay, don't do it

in front of Frankie Dole. It could hurt him. So then we go to Alexi and Frankie's beauty bar. And they're cheering. They're like sitting back in one of those like massage chair things, cheersing each other. And it's like, cheers to us because you know where we're at right now, Alexei and Frankie's beauty bar. It's crazy. I can't believe we're here, Frankie. You know, I'm not going to lie. I've abandoned Alexi and Frankie's beauty bar for the last year

because of all, you know, kinds of problems I've had in my life, dude, you know. And so, like, now I'm like ready to take control again because, you know, like my mental state is better. I'm like, wow, I love to hear that. I love to hear that, like, a guy can, like, play mind games with you and then, like, your entire company has to suffer because of it.

Like, get rid of Todd. Like, this guy's bad for even for your business. I'm not going to get rid of Todd. So give it up. up. Maybe you could support me a little bit. Okay. Like, we're going to have some drinks and then we're going to do manicures and pedicures and have some bites. And you can only do it on one night a week. So truthfully, when Frankie and I, because like, you know, like, look, Frankie and I have people and bring in money, you know? Like the days of Frankie and I are Alicia and Frankie's beauty bar. We have really good days. It's so good here. Some of these days are so, so, so good. Right, Frankie? And he's like, party, party. I like that. And then we go over to Mary Sal's, and she's wearing a green furry hat. And guess who is there, the woman who designed my fabulous new rug, Ms. Jill Zeran herself. Can you believe I got a Jill's Aaron rug?

You got a Jill's Aaron rug? Yes, I got a new rug, and it is a Jill's Aaron rug that I got from, I think, rugable. And let me tell you, it's a nice rug. I have a Jill Zaire. Did you know it was a Jil Zarin rug? You got it? I did. I did.

tell people, I'm only sharing that with you, because that's personal growth for me to be able to buy a Jill's hair rug. Supporting other women. Yeah. Look at you. That's right. Wow.

Every day I walk into that room and I say, Ah. So Jill's like, oh, I love your hat. I love your hat. I have a question. When you walk on your Diet Coke, do you hear a voice in your house? That's, that's not a day. I was going to say that when you,

you walk on your road, you hear a voice that says, I can show you how to make a real Diet Coke. I can show you how to make a real Diet Coke. It would have funnier if I hadn't just. You got to have a glass and you got to have ice. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. So, yeah, she's like, you know, it looks like a Christmas tree.

And then Stephanie comes and she's like, oh my God, if you weren't wearing the hat, how am I supposed to find you without the hat? Show them all bizarre. So then they're putting it on PJs and Marisol's like, oh my God, we got a smorgasbord, a cornucopia of goodies all over the property. Look at all this.

And said Larsa comes in and she's like, hi, like, happy holidays, like, like happy holidays and this and that next Y Z like. And they're all like, there are all these like tables that are set up and they can get free shit and try on jewelry

and all that fun stuff. Yeah. They've got the jewelry clock. Oh, my God, you've got a machine that gives us diamonds. And Lars is like, I always win. Look, you guys, like I always win like. Like I won, I won like diamond earrings like. All I do is win like.

All I do is win like. So she says, I don't know. I guess I'm just a, I'm like a good gold digger like, like, like. So then they're like opening up their, their stuff. And Marisol's like, oh my God, I lost my cocky. Guess what? Cockies were back. You all thought I gave up cocky.

for the season. Bring it back for the finale. Oldie but goody. Am I right? Where's Dick? My friend was staying with me and Jessica when I was watching this and she goes, what the fuck is a cocky? She's got this big booming deep voice. And she goes, did that lady just say she lost a cock? And I said, no, she said cocky like cocktails. She goes, that's fucking stupid. Yes, I love watching with someone else who has never watched it before. She's like, What is wrong with their faces? Someone who hasn't been beaten down and had all this stuff normalized.

So Gertie goes over to like one of these tables where a lady is like making little jewelry chains or whatever. And you're like, okay, what do we are? Okay, ladies talk to me, talk to me. Okay, okay, I don't want any charms. Okay, like get rid of the charms. This has to be smaller. Okay, take out the crown, take out the crown.

I don't want this either. Take these two off. Come on, there's a lot of free stuff and time is money. Time is money. Let's get this going. Larges is like, even large is like, Gertie like, that's not how you talk to people like, Gertie, you can't do that, Gertie. She's like, listen, there's a lot of kiosk, a lot of free things.

Things can go quickly. I cannot be wasting time with extra crowns on my bracelet here. Carry up, hurry up. I got to get as much as I can, okay? So we have things to do. We have things to do. Nobody acts like that. Who behaves like that? Oh, you know when you have free things and you're like, oh my God, I want to take as much as I can? That's what I'm doing. I'm doing it. She's like, well, just make sure you at least like whatever you're getting like. She goes, okay, what? You know, we're going to do a countdown okay and then we're going to run and we can get shit like speed dating but it's shopping marasel Marisol like I want to take a good photo with you like she's like oh yeah pips we're going to take a picture with Santa come on they all take a picture it's like funny

and everything in Marisol's like wow look I got some expensive friends here and she's wretched this one over here's wretched not ratchet you know the word there's a difference in the words Just making a really light joke about in a racial situation, I'm going to inflame in about 10 minutes. What a Christmas party. I love it. Hey, Santa, love your Paul. Love your Paul, Santa.

He's like, please get off from me. Please. I don't get paid enough for this. Oh, look, everyone, that's Adriana. Okay, hello. Okay, pop star. Okay, look, I'm obsessed with your top. I'm obsessed with it.

And Adriana's like, oh, yes, yes, I'm here. So they all walk over and they get, they're like getting, Adrian and PJs because they're all putting on these PJs and there's all these like patterns and it's a lot of like clothing racks going on. It's actually a pretty good party. There's like a lot of free shit for a for a Christmas party I have to say. Yeah, Marisol's done this before right, where she has these parties where she just loads people up with shit. I mean, this is the way to go for sure. Yeah. Marisol is actually very good at throwing events and she usually gets the best brands to give her stuff so she can be gifted to us. But it's okay. You know what by me today. I'm here

for it. I'll give you peace in exchange. That comes back to Haunter. Yeah, really. So Stephanie goes up to Santa and she's like, Dear Santa, last year I asked for friends and this year I got them. Oh.

That's like so sad. It's so sad. Especially that all these people can't stand her, clearly. Yeah. That made me sad for Stephanie. Then we go over to Alexia and Frankie's booty bar. And so Julia shows up there and she's like, I admire Lexia for continuing our business.

We as women need to always rely on ourselves because only we can pour water on other people's heads. No one can do it for us. Which is why I only marry hundreds of millionaires. 100 billionaires. Yeah, exactly. So Kiki shows up and she's got her daughter summer with her. And she's like, oh, I mean, who knows what's going to happen with Todd?

It's important for her to have plan B. and that's for every woman. You can't throw all your eggs in one basket because these men are going to turn on you. You know who doesn't turn on you? Vibrators. Vibrators. So, Julian, I's telling Alexia, it's a beautiful event.

And Alexia is saying how she's like, I'm really happy. I'm really happy. You know, this is what a star looks like when she's happy. It's my face. Look at the star. Yeah, you know why? Because I love to connect with my customers.

I love it. I love talking to people. Watch this. Hi. Look at it. I'm like a natural. I'm like a star. Welcome. Amazing. Amazing.

I love to connect with my customers, which is why I ignored this place for a year. So they're making small talk and stuff. Summer is getting your nails done. And Julie is like, oh, this reminds me. In a few days, Martina and I are making an event with Florida Grand Opera and the agency that we adopted our boys from Foster. We are all going to unite. opera and foster children finally the two things that people want to do on any given night spend time and learning about foster children and opera at the same time i would love to unite causes because classical music has such healing powers and i'm seeing how helpful it was to my little

boys who have been through so much trauma and what an impact beethoven has made on their behavior I'm like, what are you, what are you talking about? Maybe you should play some detail from me for your daughters. Opera has totally changed their, their kids. Maybe you can play some of your daughters. They hate you. People are upset at me. People are upset at me about my, I don't really, well, I mean, I don't really don't,

honestly, I really don't give a shit about the daughters and, and their relationship. Because I, I don't know, like, last week, well, because last week I was like, you know those kids they should just like i don't know i think my mindset's kind of like oh get over it kids already but people are like you don't understand what's like to have toxic parents this is thinking for privilege i'm like that's probably fair that's probably fair and i accept that i also don't think it's that deep it's just like it's just like julia's kids like who really gives a fuck they're just going to be spoiled brats in europe okay everyone whether whether whether they should whether they should erase julia or not brats in europe whether like honestly

No. No, I mean, that whole Julia's kids thing, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what I've said. I've probably changed my mind a million times. But I don't know. None of us really know what's going on, right? So it's kind of easy to just make jokes. Like we have no idea what's going on. Here's what we do know. Julia didn't even know where her kid went to school. Julia is a fake manipulative person. She's a bad friend. And she's kind of a self-involved dick. So I mean, this whole time I've been like team kids. you know like i'm on their side but it doesn't really bother me when yeah i'm like fuck those kids either because part of me is like i mean you're so rich you're just they're all the other thing is that they're spoiled brats too you have to admit like they can all be terrible people i mean this is like watch it's like succession you know it's like you don't you're not really really rooting for anyone are you but i mean i i can't imagine happening but i would be i can imagine my parents just adopted kids and didn't tell me yeah i i don't know i don't know if i I mean, you would, you would.

I would be because I feel like it would be my responsibility now. We've named him Ben. We've actually named him Ben. We've got a second chance at Ben. You know, mother. I think I would just be mad because I know the responsibility would fall on me and that'd be so annoying. Yeah, me too.

I can't imagine living with Martina as easy. Yeah. Like when you're older, like you're adopting a kid with Martina and then who's going to end up taking care of this child? Me, that's what I would feel. That was my initial thought too. It's like you're going to leave all this shit. to me and the I'm not adopting these kids but you're kind of making it my

responsibility and now I have to love these kids like my brothers and like I don't even know who these kids are and like like you never you know it's it's kind of like like when we go over and someone makes you hold the baby I'm like why don't why don't why and it's kind of like that that's so I totally get that from the daughters but I also feel like the daughters have just like just like live some they're just like traipsing around Europe at all times so I'm always like okay so like they like live like this really wonderful life and then they're going to be like we're mad i'm like i don't really want to hear from you either so like you may have to a croissant

i know i know traveler oh you know what i'm i'm so sorry that you hit your mom i'm you know maybe what you should do is go hang out with your like rich elton john adjacent like step parent like godparents down in the south of spain instead you know i'm like i'm like i don't know I think they're all living a very charmed life right now and they probably all piss each other off. So I guess I don't really have a very strong stance on either of them. I understand why I pissed off people because people have very fraught relationships with their parents. And they know it's just like it's, it's a very like it's just not as simple as being like, oh, get over yourself kids. The parents trying to do things for you.

I understand that. But I also think like it's not worth getting so upset about it. Well, we're also different in that way. I mean, we were raised in very different environments. like I was raised in a more yelly, toxic. I don't want to, like, I'm in a very good place with my family, but we had some rough times for sure. And so I tend to take the side of the kids more,

where I think you take the sides of the parents more because you were raised with such close parent. Like, I don't know, to me, your life seems like so leave it to beaver. You know, like it seems like so perfect the way you talk about. I don't mean it in a mean way. It's a good thing, you know. But like, I, I think maybe once you haven't gone through that stuff,

you can't imagine that it could be like that between parents and kids. 100%. I come from privilege in that sense. I'm also like a good little Jewish boy where it's like, who would ever do that to their mother? Oh, and I'm terrible. Like, I was a terrible kid. I was like, I'm going to fuck with my mom as much as far.

Like I was a hellion. And I think my mom was the same way with me. You know, we just battled like forever. And until really I was 40. Until I was, when I was 40, I was like, okay, I'm 40. Like, I cannot go home and fight with my mom. Like, I can't do this anymore. This is crazy.

And I think we both made a truth. And we were like, you know what? We're never going to agree. So let's just still love each other and just disagree silently and passive, aggressively. And that's how we do it now. We just give each other withering looks and then sigh. And everybody knows what we mean and we move on, you know? You graduated.

to being a wasp. Congratulations. You did it. The American dream has come true inside of you. The idea is to work hard

and get to the cheer where you treat life like a wasp and you just don't talk about things and just say things passive. It's just so much easier

it really is. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So, okay, so anyway, Julia is going to

this opera thing and she's saying you know classical music has such healing powers julia classical music doesn't have healing power strong enough to fix my ears after listening to you sing yeah that's just the end it needs to be stronger okay yeah like beverly sills may have healing powers julia um destroying powers like that is that's not healing okay good opera You're Beverly Shrills. Beverly Shrills. Renee Flem in my ears. Like, no.

Shut up, Aradi. Shut up. Jesse Ab Norman. We're done. We're done. So we cut the Marisol's party. And Gertie is talking to Adriana about Julia. And she's like, oh, and what about you and Julia?

Because you know what? I have to commend you. I have to commend you. You have been stellar, a stellar friend to that woman. You have been a perfect friend, four out of four stars. You gertified that friendship. You gertified it. And the gallery thing that you just had for Arbazil, and you told her, my best friend, like, what are you doing?

Like, what are you after Kiki? And she said nothing. She was just like that. Just like that. I. What the? Why is she? so numb around you but then she's got so much energy for everybody else and i'm not saying that

you should fight her on my behalf because i'm still really upset about that hell captain sandy thing but if you would like to yell at her i'm not going to stop you so there i have now gotten you ready for the finale you're already being so transparent setting up a proxy battle i know i like it when she does it though somehow i like it she's just so obvious about it and she doesn't even care she's like i'm doing the scene in less than five minutes because there's a lot of jewelry to get this bag. Okay, fight with Julia. You got it? Okay, I'm out of here. Yeah, it's weird. The whole Adriana Julia thing is kind of an interesting one because I think we've all seen Julia being a total dick this season and kind of like abandoning Adriana and like fully just like

becoming friends with Alexia, like the cool girls. Like we've seen it. It's been a total fall from Grace from like someone that like was one of the best like the one of the ones like I love the most. At the same time, when Julia later says, like, you don't understand how terrible Adriana's been and I put up with it. I don't, I don't disbelieve it. I believe that's, I believe that Adriana, because we've also seen Adriana bite the hand that feeds her a million times. Yes. So there is part of me that says like, yeah, she really did drop Adriana like a bad habit, but like, I don't know if it's a black and white situation. And I sort of, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I'm slightly empathetic, slightly empathetic to Julia. Yeah, well, you definitely see

where she's coming from. That's for sure, you know, even though she is being the asshole. And if all that stuff was happening, then she should have brought that up instead of just blowing her off, you know. But then I think that the past couple of episodes, it's really hard to stand up for Adriana too. So it's like, we've come to this. It's just the end of. Miami. They're both wrong. They're both wrong. And I think that Julia I can't even really choose the side on this. I choose side neither at this way. I think Julia was

looking for a way to break with Adriana. I think she's like a little scared to do it. I think she's a little weak. And I think she wanted to make new friends. So that way she would have reasonable excuses not to hang out with Adriana, but also maybe to have some people in her corner when the inevitable confrontation happens. Well, I think the thing that

is the most offensive thing is she's not only befriending. I agree. Yeah. She's not only befriending the other girls and ignoring Adriana. You know, she's befriending Adriana's greatest enemies who still hate Adriana's guts. And it's like, okay. And then acting like, Adriana's crazy about, like, what are you talking about? Yeah.

And that's where I think it goes wrong because she's, she, it's like, those are her mortal enemies. And you know that they've done nothing but talk shit about Adriana to Julia. And Julia just sits there and listens to it because those girls are not going to stop themselves from talking about Adriana. They're just not. So that's what makes it worse. You know, it's not like if Adriana is abusive and this and that, I can see that. I can see how that could be true. And I wouldn't blame you for getting out of that relationship.

But getting out of that and then going to her worst enemies is just low. Well, I think that I think it's actually a really fascinating and complex situation because I think this happens in friend groups a lot. And I would not be surprised if Julia is like unhappy with Adriana because Adriana is crazy. We saw what she did to Leah Black where Leah like did all these things for her and then immediately Adriana turned on Leah and I think that Julia like already was unhappy and she's in a new group and she sort of feels like she wants to kind of like throw herself into this group and please by the way don't please don't like confuse this with me being like team Julia I still think Julia was an asshole for all the reasons you exactly just said but I think that what happens is that like she sort

of falls for one of the big con jobs that people do which is like oh we really like you like just that you know, when you're around Adriana, you're just, it's just, she's so terrible. We don't get to know you, whatever. And so now you're in a situation where you're with someone, you don't really want to be with anymore. And now people are saying that they want to be your friend, but you feel like you can't because you have some weird loyalty to this person who's awful to you. And then you say to yourself, why am I being loyal to this person? They're awful to me. And these people are actually trying to be nice to me and try to be friends with me to become friends with. But you actually don't realize in the process of doing that. You're actually being an extremely

shitty friend to the person that you're claiming that you're friends with. And really what you should have done the first place is confront her and said, I don't like the way you're treating me as a friend. And if you keep dreaming like a friend, then our friendship is going to go nowhere and I'm going to explore other friendships in this group. Yeah. And it's interesting that you bring up Leah Black because it's like karma, right? Because she, Leah Black brought Adriana onto the show. We all know that. She got Adriana onto the show, was trying to make her a little extra money because she was a single mom, this, and that. So she gets her on the show. Then Adriana dumps her to be with more popular people. She wants to be with the cool girl. So she dumps Leah to go.

to those girls. Marisol and Alexia. And she dumped. It's like the same thing playing out all over again. And now they don't like Adriana anymore. And so Julia, who's the one that was brought onto the show by Adriana, is now dumping her to fall for this trick again

and go for these popular girls again. And it's going to end the same exact way for Julia as it ended for Adriana. And it's just, it's interesting seeing the karma come back so blatantly. You know, it's like the exact same situation. I think if Julia had not had that issue with Gertie at the beginning of the season, if Julia had not started a feud over a Zoom call or if Julia had like this whole backstory and especially if Julia had not poured the water on Gertie, I actually think that we as an audience

may be more empathetic to Julia's path with the other girls this season. But instead what we see as someone who is like revealed kind of an inner cruelty and like, an inner self like selfishness and so like it's hard to yeah it's hard to it's hard to have real full empathy for her situation because we also saw another side of her that makes us question like how much of this is driven by by some sort of like aspirational status driven motivation versus someone just trying to create friendships outside of their awful friend. I mean, it looks, I think there's so much evidence pointing to the former because, you know, the Gertie thing, like coming for Gertie like that, Gertie's like, this was so long ago.

And she did not say anything until now, until the cameras are here. And it coincided with Alexia being like, oh, you know what, Gertie? You're just so loud. Like, you're just too much. You're just like too loud and you're too much. and Mary's soul being like, oh, we can't take it. You're just so much. It felt like it was like an initiation.

Yeah. It was like an initiation that she had to go through to prove her loyalty. Yeah, and you don't like her now too. So we're going to get her right at the start of the season. I mean, that throwing water at her came out of nowhere. It was ridiculous. And it's just like her trying to prove herself to those girls. So, yeah, you know, she sucks.

It's like Mary Sol and Alexia also suck and they've always sucked. But they're so obvious about, I don't know, maybe I'm using. to it like they're entertaining in a different way that i almost don't hold it against them i mean i do like i call them out on it obviously but it bothers me more with julia because she's just being a follower it's like if you're going to be a villain be originally a villain like these two don't be a follower villain nobody wants like a follower villain it's just we want to original i think we would what we would be respect more would be like a natural gravitation to some people that have like she sees that there could be a potential friendship.

She naturally gravitates towards them. Adriana can't deal with it. Like, we would empathize to Julia, but instead what we see is someone actually falling over themselves to try to endear themselves to other people at the expense of someone else. And that's just kind of, that's just shitty. Yeah, it's gross.

So Adriana is like, oh, my God. Julia is so into herself and what's good for her. And she's just discarded me. The way I felt, she's like a covert enemy. And it's slender. Slingerrerr. Lisa walks in with Logan and Ellie to the Alexia's party. And she's like, oh, God, Logan, let me see your hands.

Oh, God, you need a manicure. He's like, no, I don't. He's like, yeah, you do. It's called a manicure because, you know, manicure. Because you're a man. Mani, manicure. Mother, I always told you I don't like your woodplay. Please, just give you a toy gun.

So Peter and Johnny are talking, and Peter's just like, I'm good, do you know, Peter's so out of it. Like, I don't even know. Peter is just like a walking coma, this guy. He's just like a doi. He is the personification of doi. Like, doi, that is Peter. And Johnny's like, yeah, because the last time I saw your mom, she was sure going through those emotions. Cut to, oh my God, protect people and all the nurses. Everyone should die.

Kill all the nurses and they should die. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. So Peter's like, I feel like she's better. I mean, I don't know stuff. Like, I feel like she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

But like, I find out the day before it comes out on like page six, it's like, oh, by the way, it's the day. the way, it's the day before something's going to happen, but then it happens. Alexia is like, oh, well, you know, sorry, I wanted to protect you. I was trying to, I was trying for it to go away because I wanted to protect you. He's like, I could care less. Why are you? He's 32 or 35 or whatever. I don't know what age he is. He doesn't need to be protected anymore, Alexia. Like this guy, he's not protecting. He's not protecting you from all his bullshit. So you don't let him go out in the world and deal with headlines. That honestly, I think that actually

Peter is, I don't think that Peter cares at all about Alexia and Todd. He's like, I really, I don't care mom. Oh, I guess he does on some level if he's complaining about not reading her with Todd because he hates Todd, you know. But that's why she's not telling him too, because it'll give him ammo against someone he's been rooting for her to break up with, right? So she's like, oh my God, but it's been a roller coaster, but I should still tell you about it. You know, like who goes on a roller coaster? Like if I was on a roller coaster, but there was no one there to hear me, would I be on a roller coaster? If a tree falls on a roller coaster

And there's no roller coaster going at the time Did the tree ever fall on the roller coaster? I don't think so. If a star goes on a roller coaster And no one's there to take pictures of the star Is the roller coaster still the best roller coaster Because it has a star on it? Yes, I think so.

The last two months when things have been good, You know, like we're learning to communicate better, you know, and like we love each other better. But I'm not going to lie. Like I have PTSD, you know, like being left like that. It's like I have post-traumatic star disorder. you know and like being like that like i will he do this to me again and peter's like that's everyone's worry because if you go back to todd it's not fair for frankie because i don't want

i don't want frankie living with someone who would move a couch in front of him she's like oh my god i know you know and i respect it i respect it because he moved the couch in front of frankie like i can't forget that i can't forget that producer asked like hey has todd apologized to you for the way that he left. I'm sorry. Todd apologized to you, but has Todd apologized to the boys? No.

No. No. I'm surprised Todd did not. She does that little tiny head shake where it's just like barely imperceptibly moving, but really fast. She's like, no. I'm surprised.

Todd did not like show up on camera today to say, to whom it may concern. No one loves those boys. The way I love those boys. They are like sons to me, sons that I hate, but in a way that I love. They are people that I care for, and even though I have not apologized to them, I plan to do it hereforth to as soon as possible. The only reason why I didn't is because Peter is too stoned, and Frankie, he's still upset that I moved the couch in front of him. But I plan to send them Godiva chocolates, and then we will all be solved.

I love those boys, and I hate anyone who would say anything else, even though they drive me nuts. I still love him. I love him and I'll punch him in the face if I have to. You know what? I feel like it hurt us a lot. You know, like it's a family.

But like, you know what has to happen? Like, we need to have a conversation and we need to have a conversation about you guys having a conversation because like only through conversation can you learn to have a conversation about having a conversation. You know what I mean?

He's like, uh, it's like drools just coming down his face. So then we go back to Marisol's and people are getting facials and drinking. and they're all complimenting Marisol and thanking her for a great party. You know, Gertie's got like a suitcase full of stuff. She's like, oh my God, do you have outdone yourself? Do you have somebody to help me carry this to my car?

Can I take the car? Can I take the car to it? Is this house mine now? Are you giving away the house? So Adriana puts her arm around Marisol. It's like, oh, this is like the old times. Remember? Remember, like the old times?

Like, thank you. And like, remember when I had my art gallery? That was nice. You know, I like, you know, the problem. problem is Kiki. She's been like saying those things about my age. And it was hurtful for her to make a joke out of my age in such a mean and spirited way. Like, okay. Let's drawing this one out a little bit, Adriana. Yeah, like even on your birthday, like, they would like on your birthday. On my birthday. You're correct. That was on my birthday. So then we go back to Alexia and Frankies and Julie is talking to Kiki about the same thing. And she's like, wait a minute. I saw that you left the party. I actually run looking for. you? She's like, wait, you came downstairs? Well, clearly I didn't see you because I was on the Amazon truck and I took off. That wasn't Amazon truck. Last week, you said that and I was like, are you sure that wasn't production? But we see the clip of it and it is, in fact, an Amazon truck. But I didn't think that she actually got into it, but like, she literally hopped into an Amazon truck. Like, truly the luckiest driver in the world, a super mile just piles into your truck and was like, just take me anywhere. I mean, I, I, would you even, no one would believe you. It's just the best. It's pretty privilege. You know, it's being so gorgeous that the Amazon driver's like, fuck yes, get in my car. I don't even care what happens

to me over there. Get in my car. I love, this is the best day ever, you know. Like we're talking a couple weeks ago about why Adriana is so depressed. And I was saying, you know, it is really depressing, I think, especially for women and especially for beautiful women, because you're used to being treated a certain way your whole life and then it starts to disappear and you're like, but I'm not different on the inside. Like what the fuck? What is happening? And you know, you're just so used to that pretty privilege. And it really is a thing. I mean, and this is an example of it. Someone just being like, I want to get out of here, Amazon guy. Will you take me? And he's like, yes. Yes, I will. It's like, he just got right to the second part of the Billy Ocean song. It's like,

get into my car. He didn't even have to dream it. Get out of my dream. and drop that package right over there. Please, I don't want to get out of the car. We've really got a far way to go. Get out of art, buzzer, and into my car. Beep, beep, yeah. It took her 13 hours to get home because they had to make somebody stops. Well, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

Another really ocean. Yeah, that's a good song. Still a good song. From the jewel of the Nile, I believe. Isn't it from the jewel of the night? It was the music video, Daniel DeVito, and Michael Douglas like dancing. To it. Oh, my gosh.

Go and gets tough. To tough. It gets tough. It gets good. It gets good. Yeah. Did you hear it when I said that Kiki is a Caribbean queen? I just really want to make sure all three puns landed.

She is technically a Caribbean queen. Well, there you go. You landed them all. Every single one of them. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So, Adriana's like, oh, do you remember we had so much fun back in the day before Marysol's knees were so wrinkled.

And they're like, yeah, those were great times. So then back at the other party, oh, yeah, so we did the Kiki thing. So now we're with Julie and Kiki again. So Julie is like, I couldn't understand why you left. And she said, because she mentioned that I called her racist, which I never did. I never said she was racist. And so we see a clip of that. And she's like, I don't think the people in this group are racist.

So when she called me Ratchet, it's not like I went back and said, yeah, you're racist for calling me that. I never said that. She's like, well, it's a conversation that we had between you and her. Because I know, but Adriana's, you know, sometimes a little, you know, old lady, you know, people over 60 don't can hear things. You know, she's very 32 times 32 minus 5, you know. Yeah, she's like, I'm just going to try and stay away from her. That's her plan, which is probably not going to work. So then we go back to Mary Sol's and Stephanie's like, okay, since my holiday party is your concert, Adriana, then the Kiki Drink Reveal, then really it's just the three of us coming together for this event.

I mean, how's this all going to work? Are you guys going to be okay together? Are you? Because I know how you are too, and I know you don't drop things. She's reactive. She is. She's reactive. If everybody knows it, just admit it, it's the truth.

No, that night, it's all good vibes. Good vibes. I don't want to bring negativity to that event unless it's people in my band. Otherwise, I'm not yelling at them. Okay, yeah, right. So then now we go to the night of Julia's opera and foster care event, which. I can't. I can't with the opera.

So, like, like obviously it's good to do something. something for foster children. This is not it. Of course, you have to make this about everybody being forced to stand around and listen to your terrible fucking voice in order to support foster children. Oh my God. Just stop it. I don't even have kids and I wanted to leave them after this. So Julia is, there's a woman named Jeanette, who is B.C. Maria, who is the general director of the Florida Grand Opera, also knows Fiji O. And Connie, who is a social worker. And she Jeanette, who's an adoption support specialist. And Julia's like, I adopted my boys with wonderful Connie and Jeanette.

And Maria's like, oh, well, it's important that this is so good to have you here. I mean, we are so honored to co-mingle Florida Grand Opera with advocates of children and families. We still don't really understand how this is going to work. Are the children going to be seeing opera? We just don't know, but thank you so much for arranging it. We meet Martina yet. Oh. Tonight we are not asking for money.

It's not like charity, because why would we do something that would actually help foster children? The purpose is to put together for future collaboration, foster care for children, and Florida the Grand Opera. So you're just supplying tiny extras now? What are you doing? Are they going to be appearing in the operas? You're just some tiny extras. You just want to force people to listen to your opera and make them feel bad if they don't. Be like, but it is for the children.

it is singing off key for children all right we brought the opera we brought the foster kids to listen to your opera and they have literally all just run away so this is good now because we have no foster children now job well done we did it nailed nailed as they say

so Alexia and Marisol arrived Marisle like oh my God our swan our singing swan you know I don't know if we've given have we given Julia a nickname yet Is it Jay? How about we start calling you swan? Swan. Swany, Swan, Swan, Swan, Swanson, Swanson, chicken stock.

Stock. We're going to call you stock. Okay, Stock. You're here. I'm so happy you came. It means so much to me. So Martina comes in. She's like, hi. Hi, everybody. Me, Martina, international tennis star here. Glad to be here. Is there some paint I can throw a ball up against? The real artist has entered the room. And Kiki blows a kiss at Martina, and she's like, I do have quite a crush on Martina. I don't know, but it's a jeunse quo.

I don't really know what it is, but I don't know. I guess I've always had a thing for Tom Petty a little bit. Rest in peace. And Martina's like, oh, she's always flirting with me. Oh, her and Chris Everett. Am I right, everyone? Nudge, nudge, nudge. And Julie is like, oh, thank you for coming to support me.

I know you all have busy lives. And Alexi is like, never too busy for you and your family or this cause. I mean, too busy for Marysos party because, you know, happy hour, but, you know, for this is good. I'll be here for this. Too busy for the customers at my salon. I gave them my once-a-year appearance, but now I'm here for weird opera for foster children. I was going to ask you, so what happened with the rest of the girls? And Julie's like, oh, the girls that I did invite, unfortunately couldn't make it.

Adriana is actually speaking out. She's practicing with a band, practicing with band. So we go to see Adriana shaking it. on stage going Miami is on fire on fire wait that's hot hot no no Miami is on on on on fire so by the way this is a good time to mention that um last week peloton did a road to bravo con ride uh where they played a lot of bravo music on on the peloton ride and then they sort of had some bravo trivia which was, by the way, mortifying because they had three other instructors on the side

and they're like, you're the summer house expert. There was literally a guy there, Maddie Giacomo, whatever's name is. And the quiz was like, who said the following? How many sandwiches have you made me? And this guy is the summer house expert and he was like,

I don't know. Can someone help me out here? I'm like, sir, please get off my Peloton right now. How do you not know the answer to that? Summerhouse expert lies. Summerhouse expert did not know about the sandwiches. And then it was like, another thing was like, who said, you don't want to see me activated? He's like, oh, he was like, I was like shaking my Peloton.

But the point of the story is actually not about that. I just needed to get that off my chest. The point is that the music changed. They were moving into the music really quickly. And every song would be on for like 90 seconds and it just crossfaded into something else. But they put on Adriana song. They put on fire, fire. And they kept it on like,

the whole time. So it was on so long that the instructor was like, all right, coming up next. We're going to be starting a, we're going to be starting a climb. And oh, wow, this song is still going on, huh? Wow. Oh, we're still in fire. Still in fire. Okay. All right, everyone. Now get out of your seats. We're going to start the climb now. Okay, the song is still happening. And I was dying. She was like, this song, I don't know what the song is. I'm pretending to like Bravo right now, but why are we playing this song for so long? That's funny. She literally yelled at the... She literally, like, said a snarky thing to, like, the producer.

She was like, okay, all right, we were finally done with the fire. I only queued the next song three times, guys. Jen Sherman was not happy. Can we get a fade out here? Okay, let's get a little cross fade. Okay. Get some Melissa Gorgia in here. And she also, by the way, just last note about it,

Jen Sherman, the Peloton instructor. She was like, fun fact, I was sorority sisters with Heather DeBrow. We were sorority sisters together at Syracuse. Or as we used to call her, the stuck-up bitch in the attic. Or as we used to call her, person who's just going to ride a bike the rest of her life. On a bike to nowhere. Question, can you see Drake from your bike?

That's funny. You played Drake during your bike ride. I played Drake while I was outside. He was singing at me from his balcony. So at Julia's event, Kiki's like, Adriana is expecting us all to be there for her to watch her perform. I don't know. She could do some magic, do something.

And Julie is like, well, I hope one day, Adriana and I will be in a real better place. We're trying. We've been trying for months. Oh, you know what? I don't think. It's just my opinion. But I don't think she's trying. because if she would have been trying, she would have been here today, and she's not.

You just miss, okay, not only did you just miss your best friend's party to have your own party, but you also miss Julia's trip for her godchildren because you were being a sassy little butthead that day and didn't want to go. So I don't need you here talking about support. And Julia falls for it. She's like, oh, yes, yes, true, true. I think Adriana is allowed to save her hearing and not listen to whale next. to a piano. So what I said to my friend sitting here, I was like, I'll bet she didn't even invite her to

this thing. I'll bet she didn't even invite her or she didn't know about it or something. And she planned this rehearsal, not knowing, I'll bet she planned that rehearsal without knowing Julia had an event. Also, she had a rehearsal. She's a, like, she has a rehearsal, okay? Songs, tribute songs to your dog, do not just perform themselves. They don't just write themselves, all right?

This is Emilio Estefan we're talking about here. Let's have some respect for the craft. So Alexia is saying, like, I don't think Adrian is very happy about that. You know, I feel like Adriana is like the kind of friend that's like, oh, it's like me or it's none of them, you know? I think that's, I think that's what's like, have you seen any footage of you star Alexia?

I mean, really, it's truly the same thing. So now Julia's like, oh, I am so nervous to see. I'm so nervous. And the guy's like, don't be nervous, you know? like what helps what nervous breathing just breathe oh oh i'm not going to lie i'm hurt because i've been in every single performance for adriana and i've made adriana i think it's athriana's made it very clear that tonight how about this is for me to sing opera to people who work at foster care but we're not actually raising money for it i can't i can't with her

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