Watch What Crappens - #3015 RHOM S7E17 Part Two: Slay-bells

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recap!It’s the season finale of The Real Housewives of Miami! Adriana has it out with Julia and the other ladies, Stefanie has an old mans balls Christmas ball, and a dog gets it’s own torch song. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much than crappins. welcome to watch our crap and it's a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about this is part two of the recap if you miss part one go check out your podcast feed it's right there and without further ado let's get right back into the recap so then we get maria she's like bonza bonza listen my name is maria tararo i'm the general director of flora grand opera foster

to welcome you to this very important case we've got a surprise for you Julia Lemongova star of stage and screen and the hearts are our hearts are singing it's strong now. Julia Leap, please, you're embarrassing herself. She's not even donating money to you and you're kissing her ass like this. Oh my God, girl. So everyone claps. But I love that Maria is like, I'll do this, but I'm not doing it without a backup. So they bring in superstar, Laura Leon.

from the magic flute. And so they have her sing. So Julia is singing next to this professional opera singer, and they're not even singing a duet. They're singing the exact same thing. And it is so sad because you hear the opera singer singing it beautifully in on key. And it's like,

and then you hear Julia going, br-ha-ha-ha-ha. The fact that Julia, like, she's like, oh, I've just been training for nine months. months to be an opera singer and now I'm like good enough to sing opera that the fact that she even thinks that is so hilarious when like people spend like years getting their voice in that condition and it's so hard it's so it requires such skill and this poor opera singer having to duet with her while julio's like oh oh my god I mean bless her heart like go for what you love you

It's like you're never too old to start something new. You know, I believe that. Because I'm doing it, you know, I try my own new things these days. You're learning opera too. Yes, I already know opera, sir. But, you know, like, take my piano classes. Like, I'm a big believer in, like, doing things no matter your age. So it's not even that.

But, like, if you're really serious about something, go join it. Be in a choir. Or go audition for the opera. Yeah. Be in the chorus. You know what I mean? But, like, her only goal is to just have a scene where she can sing opera once a And it's like, come on, get serious.

Let's get serious here if we're going to do this, okay? Just five months ago, we were giving up on adoption because we thought that maybe that was not our destiny. And then we got phone call that says, please stop leaving awful opera singing on our voicemails. We will give you children. Just never call us again. Look, now we have Luca and the other one.

So during her opera singing, which is literally like cats, being skinned alive is what it sounds like um to a good opera music it's a good one singing um so we see a montage of martina with the boys and i do think it's cute that we see martina teaching the boys tennis or one of them at least because she said she wasn't going to do that earlier and she's sure enough is out there showing them her sport which i thought was pretty cute um she realized that like it's she's like i can't let their lives go by without me regularly just saying run faster pussies hit the ball listen if you don't have somebody to say you want to end up like stuffy graph you fucking wuss then what kind of life are you leading let me tell you something

if i'd been stabbed i wouldn't have given up monica got a little dark there sorry yeah did i was like i'm already in the midst of a laugh already in the midst of laugh maybe i should I've made us, a Stephanie, what was that girl, Stephanie who was like going to be, doesn't matter. Where'd you go, Anakorna Cove up? More like Anicornna, no career, Vah. There, I got us back on track. So the crowd cheers, which is interesting to hear people clapping because they weren't clapping with their hands. They were clapping their hands over their ears really hard, like just trying to shake what they just heard of out of their brain.

So then we go to Stephanie's Christmas party. And Gertie's getting ready, and she's jumping in her closet, and she pulls down this hilarious fucking purse. It's just like big bowling ball of a purse. And she's like, Cinderella, almost ready to go. There we go. We're going to go. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be crazy.

We're going to have a great night, and I'm going to get so much jewelry. So then we see everyone else getting ready, getting dressed. And Stephanie is in makeup, and she's boring the hell out of her. Poor makeup art or so have to pretend like she cares about this. She's like, Shoma's motto is, do it big, do it bright, do it in style, alienate your twin sisters, or don't do it at all. Yeah. So then we go over to Kiki, and she's coming in with her father, and there's a red carpet, et cetera. And she's like, oh, I'm going to be on the nutty side tonight.

Let's start with some bubbles. Thank you. So everybody's just doing hi, hi. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. And Stephanie has gifts from them, or for them, rather, which are probably show me caps. I don't know, I'm guessing. Show me the money.

Show me the money. My makeup artist said that. It was so funny. So then they all have, they go into their little section. And Kiki is saying that she brought her dad because he's Haitian and that this is going to be a fundraiser for Haiti. So that's going to be it. And then everyone's like saying hi to Lera.

They're like, oh my God, thank you. He did such a good job with Kiki. Thank you so much for coming. He's like, thank you. He has no idea what anyone's saying. I can barely keep up. He's like, I'm just going to say thank you because I don't speak this language. So Kiki's like, oh, yeah, I think the ladies will.

I love my dad. And maybe he'll love some of them because my dad is a flirt. Let's be honest. So people show up. Carmen makes her big return after they hyped up Carmen and she was on one episode and now she's back. And Carmen has to have no lines, right? I think she says somebody's hot and that's all we hear from her.

the whole episode. Because Kiki's like, oh, Carmen, your boyfriend's hot. And Kiki's like, oh, sorry, Carmen.

Carmen's like, no, he is hot. That is it. Yeah. So then there, Lisa and Jody arrive. And I just love Lisa. I love watching her arrive anywhere.

He's taking the red carpet, like posing. And Gertie's meet Stephanie's parents. And Lisa poses with Santa and Mrs. Claus and all that good stuff. and Jody is mistaken for a nutcracker, which is awkward.

Santa tries to put a walnut in his mouth. That's, he 100% is a nutcracker, like off-duty, off-duty nutcracker. So Lars is like, I mean, I'm okay, like, we're seeing like Jody

because, like, it's like the holiday likes. So, like, I'm in the Christmas spirit, like, and I don't want to be like a screw, like, ja, like, you know? So, Kiki pulls age, Adriana and she's like, can we talk bids? And so Adrian's like, you look beautiful. She's like, yes, you do too.

And are you excited about it? Okay, look, I know you get nervous, Adriana. And I'm sorry we have to have this conversation now, but I can't want to go with in with a peaceful mind, okay? And I want to apologize to you. She goes, thank you about the whole cake thing. And I'm, I'm sorry I did it, but it was not coming from a bad place. She's all right, that's fine.

I accept your apology. I'm like, Adriana, you have had a fissive hit, a hissy fit for two episodes straight. this or that you screamed you had you you have meltdowns and then it's just like okay yeah i'm fine bye thanks like no like it's so like there's something that drives me nuts about that i feel like your apology has to kind of match the energy of not the apology the way you accept the apology has to kind of match the energy of like the amount of time everyone invested in hearing you complain about a situation if you're going to if you're going to complain and be annoyed and and cause drama over birthday cake frosting like a bad joke but then like you're not going to like let kiki

sort of apologize properly because you're just going to brush it off like yeah no it's fine bye i'm like that's not fair to us well here's my feeling about my guess about it's not really a deep feeling you guys don't worry i'm not going to pour feelings on you but my thought is this adriana has somebody telling her adriana stop just stop it after that whole last episode that was not a good look for Adriana and I think someone was like okay you just had an episode where you brought your black friend on and said look I can't be racist I have a black friend this is really cringe stop it make this go away you know like you're in trouble make it go away and so I think she's just like okay I forgive you you know it's like well it's also like the it's also like the classic you can't

fight a war on two fronts so she's now decided oh yeah Julia's my target I don't I I I can make I'll get Julia and I. This is, yeah, this is like, everything's fine with me and Ki-Ki. Yeah, it's fine. I need my allies right now. So now we're friends again. But it would have been nice if Adriana had reciprocated there a little bit because she's like, well, all I know is that I said things and I apologize, but you know, I didn't want to

say things the way I said it. So maybe I chose the wrong word, but I want to move on and have a good night. I mean, okay, but I think you need a better apology because Kiki's being really nice here, you know? Yeah. And Kiki, whatever people say about the cake thing. being so mean and this and that. Okay, even if it was like shady, which, okay, it's still not that bad.

It didn't deserve the punishment. It's not that bad. I don't think that was cool. So she deserves an apology to you. But they're getting over it, so that's good. And Kiki is so kind. Kiki is like, and to be honest with you, Adriana, I still think you are one of the most beautiful women your age.

She goes, oh, my age, huh? Is that that backhanded compliment Kiki? like, just take it. It just was like, just please, stop being offended over every little thing. But it's very Adriana because she goes, it's Christmas night. I have the Christmas spirit and I'm receiving and accepting the gift of apology. And I have a full performance. So I don't want to be distracted by petty little things, which translates into I will yell at her tomorrow. But I'm Emilio Stephan's here. Yeah. And Adriana's basically like, look, nothing's going to make me scream tonight. And it goes 30 minutes later,

her screaming at Julia. all right so now kiki and mary soul uh are both with her and kiki's like uh well we miss you at julia's event she's like well i could not reschedule 12 people the best musicians in miami okay oh oh she was really her you know her little swan little swan it was a swan song it was a swan song it was a very sad swan yeah so that's that's in 30 minutes to come a little teaser of what's to come because you winds up screaming at Julia there and be like, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up. So then now Alexia and Julia arrive and Kiki, there's like joke. He's like, because Santa's like, ho, ho, ho.

And Kiki's like, did you just call us hoes? And then the shoe fits. Wear it, right? Am I right, Santa? Okay. I'm so good with Santa. Everybody knows it. I'm a star.

I like, they call me starry, Klaus. Except for the producer says, Alexia, have you been naughty this year or have you been nice? She was like, well, I'm always a combination of both, you know, and Larsa says, I haven't had sex in forever. So doesn't that auto make you automatically put you on the nice list like? I'm nice like. No, virgins are assholes too. Yeah. I mean, what the hell?

And so the women are posing for pictures with Santa and stuff. So then Kiki is with Julia. So she's like, oh my God, Adriana went off on us. She just missed us so bad. And Marisol's like, yeah, I'll sit and talk about it. Well, we decided to take it upon ourselves to find out why Adriana didn't show up at your event. And Julia's like, well, I texted her the next day. And I said, Adriana, I hope your rehearsal went well.

Such a pity that you didn't. You miss my special event because it was so special. No response. No response. Zero. Zero response. And Julia has a really sick burn here. She goes, so much emotion.

I swept under the carpet for years. So much emotion under the carpet is not even a lot. rug anymore it's almost like a hill mountain with a rug on top of it okay all right all right so now stephanie goes to the gifts and it gives a speech she's like thank you so much for coming okay this is very loud can we get this quieter because this is ridiculous you're all fired okay so we're going to walk to the section next door for a concert so now they go next door and um it's 10 minutes late for the concert and Stephanie's like um I don't know but this isn't a J-Lo moment like we're not going to be waiting I have stuff to do we need to get the show going this is my party and they're all waiting

because they all know it's going to be a shitty concert and they're sitting there waiting and waiting and then like the music director Jonathan goes out to Adriana's like um everyone's waiting for you's like well they need to back off the from the piano because nobody can be in this range I have that I you know I have to leave the piano and walk to the stage they all have to back the way the fuck She's like having a diva meltdown over her three-song concert that she's about to do. She's mad because all her friends are too close to the stage and they're all have their cell phones out. And she doesn't want that. She's like pulling a big diva.

She's like, no, this is very important. I'm an artist. And he's like, just get out there. Because Stephanie's like, oh my God, I'm going to kill her. Like you just see Stephanie in the front. She's losing it. So now it's 20 minutes late. But she comes out.

And, you know, we make fun of people for singing to track a lot on these shows because it's like obvious that they're not even trying. But sometimes you should sing to track. And this is one of those times. Track it up. Yeah, not amazing. So she comes out on stage. The band starts playing.

It sounds very much like a wedding band. And she's like, first she does feel the rush, which is the theme song to this show that we're watching. Yeah. Which is great. She's the only housewife who's had her song actually ascend to being. like the theme song to their, her franchise. So she sings that and they're like, Marcell's like, I thought this was going to be a new song.

I mean, what sort of wretched music is this? Don't be careful what you wish for because you know she's got old wrinkled knees being written as we speak. It's her first torch song. Mine, right, Mike. Your knees are so old and wrinkle. No, it'll just be in the style of Sabrina Carpenter. Knees, knees, knees.

Why aren't you smooth? D-Dun-Dun-Dun-D-D-D-N-D-N-H Knees, knees, when it's cold outside, why do you get so frozen? You won't move. I put on moisturizer and rub it in hard, but they still say wrinkled and look. so old why

the lyrics to use some work it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial so everyone's dancing and taking videos and next step is fire fire and then she sits down

and like gets her flared arms out you know, her, whatever you call them, like, she's got flares all over her arms. Talons. And then she stands up. She's done. And I love that last week, she's like, I've been practicing the piano for this. It's like all she places. I love my dog.

I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog. I really love my dog. I really love my dog. I really love my dog.

And the funny thing is that, like, Robin Thick actually has a song that does like the same thing. He literally has a song that takes Beethoven's Fifth and he goes singing around with it. It's crazy. Oh, really? The new Robin. She has the new Robin. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Who sings about their dog? I think it's stupid because if you really need your, if you really love your dog, you don't have to sing about it. And if you do, you should sing it at home to your dog. So your dog can hear you sing it. Like, it's not in the middle of a stage. Like, nobody wants to hear that. Alexia is so dead serious about her own logic on this

which could be applied to any love song I just want to say like don't don't sing about your dog in public you shouldn't do that it's not nice who sings about their dog so yeah she's still singing about the dog like she really goes there and that's her final song is the dog song has a slideshow too an AV experience

they're like wow and everyone cheers And then it just goes to Kiki. And she goes, wow, the mighty has fallen. Unlike her age, this one is really dropping. So they're like, wow, that was good. Larsa, Adriana, that was like so good. That was like really good.

And Stephanie's like, the dog song took me off guard. Was that a tribute to the two dogs that we put into the apartment upstairs? Remember when that was going to be a storyline? The dogs had pooped in the apartment. Remember that? And so Julia's like, okay, when can I buy? my bestie from one singer to another. I want to congratulate her in person. So Julia pulls Adriana and um, you know, Adriana's like, oh, I'm so out of breath. It's been a long day.

She's like, oh, I'm, you know that I am happy for you. You know, I'm really, I'm really, really happy for you. So happy. Okay. Well, maybe I don't know, Julia, because I mean, you've been so like weird, you know, recently. Oh, was I? Was I being weird? Yeah. Yeah, you like being weird? Yeah, you like being to yourself and to Marisol, okay, so there. Well, you introduce me to that group and I feel like you're punishing me now for getting closer to them. Don't gaslight me. Don't gaslight me. What happened? Why didn't you come for my event where I sang terrible opera next to piano for foster children? I have a band. I banned for 12 people, okay? This is very big. This is my dream since I was a little baby.

Oh, well, you, well, why you never text me? Even a foster child who never listened to opera would text me back. Yes, a foster child just texted me and said, please stop singing. So even they know how to text. Come on. And she's like, I have dreams of this. You want to come compete with me, Julia? You started this last year.

You know, I've been doing this for 14 years, Julia. This is important. Oh, so you're jealous of me singing. She's like, no, I'm not jealous. You didn't even tell me you were doing that. Okay. So this is very Julia. Like, not even mention it and then get mad that you didn't show up for it.

Yeah. And Julia's like, it's about this thing. And Adriana is saying like, no, this is about you being fake and mischievous and a bad friend. And I don't want to throw you under the bus like this, but you keep on pushing me. I'm going to do it. It's like, shame on you, Adrian, shame on you. She's like, oh, shame on you. Shame on you for not respecting my lifetime dream to sing about my dog in the lobby of a building for trying to get my life.

from me. You're toxic. The mask is off. I wish you love. She goes, oh, I see you for who you are. And now I'm going to treat you like you treat me. And I'm going to be a friend of me too. So see how you like it. So she walks off. Stephanie's like, are you kidding me?

Adriana, Julia, are fighting at the holiday party for the Shoma Bazaar? What the fuck is going on with these girls? It's Christmas. And we have an espresso station in the corner for people who want to turn this to a workspace after the party. I can't believe they would do this. Well, if that's how you want to leave. Leave it. Do you support me? Do you know that my band is 12 people? Did you tell me when your thing is? So you see, she didn't even tell her when her thing was. This is so fucking Julia. And this is why Adriana always loses because she's got a point, but she acts like such an idiot that no one ever listens to her. You know? She goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, well, am I their god? And nobody listens to what she's saying. But I fucking knew if she didn't tell her. I knew it. And then Julia tries to pull this car. She goes, well, have you checked in on my children? She goes, well, am I their godmother?

She said, really? She said, you'll use me. How? How did I use it to get into this group? And now you don't feel like you need me anymore. Go be with your real friends. So meanwhile, we just get a shot of Mary Sol Alexia, you know, lying all over each other on the couch, playing kissy face. And they're going like, I love you, bro.

I love you, bro. Oh, you found your tribe, Julia. Look at them over there. Knees kissing, old wrinkly knees intertwined. Okay. You manipulate your gaslight. And then Adriana tells us, I mean, who gets engaged nine times? Nine times until she finally landed, you know, a champion player.

You're here tonight because of me, because nobody would ever found you in that shit place you lived in, okay? Nobody would have ever found you there. I brought you in here. I brought you into this group. I gave you all your moments. You are a user. you are user. Julia's like, there's no hope for you.

I have seen Adriana yelling and screaming numerous times on different people. And then we see quite a significant montage of Adriana yelling at everyone. I mean, Adriana has yelled at everyone. Let's be honest. Julia's not wrong on this front.

Yeah, but Julia has too. Julie has yelled at a lot of people too. And Julie gets physical and throws things at people. She threw water. She threw a bucket of ice on Mary Sol. So it's not like she's some little innocent bystander. I threw party for opera singers and foster babies.

So Adrian has like, do we have to get into every conversation? And so, anyway, sorry. So we just see like a montage of the screaming and Julia's like, that's why she does things. So Adrian sits down next to Lisa. He's like, come on over here. You'll be fine. She's like, can you believe I have to hear that shit after

my big performance? Like, okay. Well, at least you did not play woodstock. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how you got that classical thing out. I mean, that was really rough. That was huge. Oh, well, what people don't know is in front of everybody, she was acting like my best friend, but

behind closed doors. She was guilt-tripping me for things. She was controlling me. She was yelling at me. She was making me feel smaller than this all the time. So, Laris was asking, like, what happened? And she was like, I'll tell you later. And she's like, and I can't take it anymore.

I'm done. It's like four years on freaking mental, psychological abuse. So, speaking of which, we now endure that because Stephanie has the microphone. Good evening, everyone. And welcome to the magical Christmas celebration here at Shoma Bazaar. Tonight is about celebrating the joy of the season with those who make life so special. And I'm truly honored to share it with all of you here. And I'm launching a new cocktail at the Shoma Bazaar called the Kiki Karaj. So now there's going to be a beverage at this place. And it's for Kiki.

and it's for her foundation for the people of Haiti and all these things come out, these signs and big images of her face and Kiki gets on stage and she thanks everyone and she talks about how Haiti has gone through unimaginable struggles and she's really happy to have the proceeds go to Haitian Health Foundation which is really great and she's really happy

because her dad gets to see her in this moment giving back to the country. Yeah, so Alexei and Stephanie are holding up cutouts of Kiki's face. They're all cheering for her. And so they move on to the dream. and everyone was posing for photos. And Adriana, so Adriana is talking to Kiki again.

So Kiki's like, Adriana, I have a question. Earlier, I was talking to Marisol, and Marisol clearly said that she was the one that told you not to use the word to say ratchet, to say ratchet. She's like, oh, my, I just was like, oh, my God, Matt. I mean, this season, here's why the season is so good. you have Larsa and Lisa It starts with Larson Lisa having a fight over Marcus Jordan

And then eventually Lisa unfollow Marcus Jordan it took forever all season long She unfollows Marcus Jordan They go to a dinner Adriana says that Lisa did this She wasn't supposed to say it Kiki tells her you weren't supposed to say it Adrian says stop being ratchet

Kiki is like you were too old to be saying those things It becomes a fight Julia does not stand up for Adriana enough. And now this entire fight, like this entire fight, this entire thing, it all just, it's all connected to all these storylines. And I'd like, those are the best seasons when you have one stupid thing in the beginning that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And then just like, it's like a entertaining cancer that takes over the entire cast.

And now this is where we are. No balls. Yep. Yes, no balls. So we see one hour earlier, Mary Sol is telling Kiki, she was like, well, she did call you ratchet. And I gave her the word wretched to save her fucking ass. Okay, well, how does that make you look good? If Adriana was, if you believe that Adriana said something fucking terrible and that has

problematic, highly problematic to a black woman, and you didn't stand up and say, Adriana, you don't say that to a black woman. And instead went and helped her come up with some little excuse or some alibi or whatever, then doesn't that make you fucking wretched? Like, what the fuck? Gross. Like, only Marisol would think, like, I'm going to stick her with this one. It's like, you look worse.

Like, yeah. She goes, I said, I'm going to help you clear this ratchet thing up. And I'm going to come up with a word that sounds just like it. And you can explain, you can just say it's your accent. And I said, and I helped you. And I said, don't fucking put me, like, don't come from me for two more years. Just leave me alone. But now stuff's coming.

back to me. You can't leave me alone. So then Marisol explained Pips told me under the radar that she had said something to Stephanie to Stephanie to get Stephanie mad at me. I was like, what? What? So Adriana said something to Stephanie to get Stephanie mad at her? No, Stephanie started that whole conversation. Larza, shut up, Larza. That whole conversation was Stephanie sitting down with Marisol and getting mad at Marisol on her own. That had nothing to do with Adriana. doing it. And Stephanie was the one who sat with her at that lunch and said, you know, I think Marisol is really a backstabber and two-faced and this and that. And Adriana just smiled. Well, what's also funny is that the evidence of this is that the big thing that Adriana did,

according to Marisol, is that Adriana, we see this scene of Adriana, Stephanie sitting. And Adriana says, you got to understand. Marisol has a PR company. She knows how to influence people. so she uses all that knowledge that she has when it comes to that and meaning that like that like what marisol heard is that adrian said she manipulates people in situations and that marisol saying like look i manipulated a situation for her so i could influence the outcome and now she's going around telling people that i manipulate situations and have influence over people i've had it yeah and i was like are you kidding me i mean i just had lay off me for a two years. So I said, oh, guess what? She said Ratchet. I came up with Ratchet and there you go. And Adriana's like, oh, she manipulates. She manipulates shit. She goes, oh, no, you said what you said. Are you going to manipulate also that you called me old, but it didn't hurt me as much as it hurt you when Kiki said it? She was, yes, yes. And Marisol's like, you're the manipulator. So Adriana tells us,

she's like, I was just pouring my heart explaining what I meant. And Marisol goes, oh, you meant this. and she pulls out the word and says, you owe me forever. So that's an example of Mary's soul. And that actually does make more sense than what Mary Saul is saying. It actually does. I don't think that Marisol was like, this is what you've got to say.

It's more like, oh, this is the word you were thinking of. Yeah. You were the, yeah, did you mean, were you trying to say wretched?

Was that the, it wasn't like she said, hey kid, this is what you got to tell the people, right? Sort of hard. Like I don't like to defend Adriana. What would work?

What sounds like ratchet? What could it be? I mean, I've just stayed up all night trying to come up with something to tell her and then I thought of a word, wretched. I don't believe that. She's like, yeah, you called her ratchet, which by the way, I still believe

that Adriana called her ratchet. And Adriana's like, she's like, no, no, you're wretched, like you're like old and miserable, you know, like wretched. Like remember when she said I was old and it was terrible? It turns out I called her old first, which was okay.

Oh, here we go again. You're calling me old again. And Alexis, like, Adrianna, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't call people load. Oh, you look like you're going to a funeral, Marisol. Because she's wearing black. And Marisol's like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Oh, go to a funeral then. Go to the funeral.

She's like, well, you look like you're going to an ice skating rink. An ice skating rink. Oh, burn. A burn on the ice, guys. I did it. Listen, guys, don't fight at Shoma Bazaar. This is the holidays. It's about giving back, loving each other, trying to get onto my private plane.

Okay, let's have fun. So Gertie's like, okay, gifts, gifts. Oh, God, we'd have gifts. Oh, my God, I'm so glad we had time for the gifts. Okay, can we hurry this up? Okay, we got like five minutes to open up these gifts. So then people are opening up boxes and it's a makeup kit. And Kiki is like, from now on, whenever I fight one of those bitches,

I'm just going to be like, I got a gift for you and don't look at me, et cetera. So now they're all happy because they're opening up makeup and things like that. And Marisol's like, oh, thank you, Santa. Thank you. Oh, Santa. Wow, thank you so much. So Adriana is like thanking, she thanks Stephanie and Alexia. She's like, thank you for being my backup dancers.

You girls were amazing. And now we start to see the little updates for the end of the season. So Adriana is working on taking her show on the road, but with one less fan in the crowd because she's still not speaking to Julia. Don, don, don't, dawn. And then we see Vika has finally met. the boys, but Emma still hasn't. And Kiki

is working on her relationship with her dad and she's getting ready to buy a condo in Stephanie's building. Oh, and then we see Julie at home with the kids and Julie's like Jackson, are you creating music? Oh!

Oh, look at him. He's eating lemon. He is my son. That's what I do. I eat lemon too. And Martinez like, they like lemon. They like olives. They like ginger. They like silence. They've been asking for that. They like strong flavors, to which I say, strong flavors isn't going to bring the ball closer to your racket. Role. Julia co-starred in Florida Grand Opera's Carmen. Oh, so I take it back. Julia is doing something. Oh, sorry, I rescind. Vika has finally met the boys, but Emma still

hasn't. So then at Larza's, she's facetiming Justin and she's like, Justin, like, look like I just wanted to show you like the hot tub, like, there's a gummy bear staring at me. It's kind of weird. I don't like it. To add to her new house, Larsa is dating a new man. It's a basketball player, Jeff Kobe. And Jeff predicts that they'll be married by the end of the year, just in case Larsa plans on freezing more eggs. I think you frozen your face enough?

I mean, did the eggs come out frozen too? They come out frozen. Just have them, just have them taken. You've got so much Botox in you. Those eggs have been frozen for years, okay? Larissa, we know your timeline. Okay, I appreciate that you're freezing your eggs, but we know your timeline.

So then you've been with us for many years, okay. Also, I'm glad to see she's with yet another love-bombie basketball player. And then we go to Gertie's home, and now she's with the kids, and they're making jokes about cats. and Gertie continues to take solo therapy. She has no plans for additional reconstructive surgery. For now.

Dun, done, done. Lisa's condo. Lisa inspired by her tumultuous and voice, a divorce. Lisa and Jody developed an app called Splitwell, which is,

okay. It's kind of a good idea, I think. Like, they teach you having a divorce. I thought so. Wasn't that last year's storyline? Yeah,

Yeah, I think that's true, because I remember hearing that before. Yeah. I like it. It's kind of like a good companion to Madewell. It's like, oh, you can get buy something from the Madewell brand and then get something from Splitwell. Yeah. So Stephanie is at her condo with Massoud, her dream boat, Massoud. And she's like, a lot of thoughts are going through my head.

The baby situation. I don't talk to my sisters. I left them voicemails. I just want a phone call from a sister. It doesn't have to be both. I mean, they're identical twins. I'll just take one. soon after

Stephanie's dream came true one twin started talking to her although technically what the twin said was shut the fuck up and stop talking about me on TV that comes from me anders my sister bye it's a voicemail so Mary Sol's um Mary Sol and Alexia are hanging out

and Mary Sol's like I'm just worrying I want you to be happy be with Todd of it makes you happy but how do I work into the picture with you and Todd? I mean well am I going to still be your friend She's like, okay, so if we get back together, you're always going to be in my life, except when I'm busy with Todd. And it doesn't matter what you say, I'm not going to hear it because I'm going to be with Todd.

Like, you were a great friend to me, and I'm sorry that you've died to me as a friend. But you know what? You've always happened, and he's going to have to understand that, even though I'm never going to bring you around the father, Todd. I don't care. So then Marisol and Steve are looking for their next wedding location. Water will not be served, but khaki sure will be on fire. family. Don't worry, though. Todd and Alexia, they've spent all season working on the relationship. You know, she was so mad. She said narcissists should die. And then she started to realize that they do have something. They love each other, which is why inevitably, we had this update. Todd has officially divorced Alexia.

So does that mean he did bamboozle her? And they were like, he's going to bamboozle you. Yeah. They tried dating, but have broken up for now. Oh, gosh. Well, Miami, great. season as usual love this show and we've still got three weeks of reunion coming up so that should be pretty fun yeah looking forward to it thanks everyone for being here thanks for being with us this season we'll talk to you next time bye watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on alison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with

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