Watch What Crappens - #3021 RHOC S19E13 Part 1: Seriously Funny

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!A spring fling party on Real Housewives of Orange County goes off the rails when the women tell Tamra they don’t trust her, and Heather must defend her reputation as a VERY FUNNY comedic thespian. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crapins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. and welcome to Watchwatch Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We'd love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and here with me today, as always, is someone who's not just a co-hosts, someone who's not just a wonderful man, but someone who is a comedic actor, Ronnie Karam. How are you? You actually are a comedic actor.

Hello, I've actually gone through the groundlings. I had to audition for it. great you actually are you are a groundlings alum and you are a comedic actor but um well i don't think i'm a groundling's alum because i think you have to be in the groundlings to be i just went through you were in i didn't get accepted oh that just counts as being in it no i went through all the classes i went through all the levels and um you know at the end you do a show and then they i'll judge you they're like you're too fat for this and then i'm like okay bye but no they didn't say i was too fat for it, obviously, but I didn't make it. So not better at all. Every time I passed there,

I spit on them. I spit on them and all their children. I'm just kidding. I want to go take classes at the groundlings. I think I said this before when Heather, Heather said she was taking glasses at the groundlings. It's like, it's sort of has like a woken thing of like, maybe I should take classes at the groundlings. I mean, if Heather DeBro can do it. I've always wanted to take improv classes. I haven't. I worry that my time has passed. But then again, Heather DeBrow, she's thrown herself right in the ring. So maybe I can. could be this is what i tell myself every day ben you're never going to be this young again this is the youngest you're ever going to be okay so do whatever the fuck you want to that's what

i could be a i could be in a musical at the groundlings couldn't i i could be funny you are funny you don't need some grounding to tell you you're funny but they are good classes they're really fun classes so i would do it and listen you know i love anything that encourages wig use so True. And it's literally so close to me. So anything that's like, have a wacky voice and here's a wig. I'm in. I'm going to go do it again.

I'll go through the whole thing again. I'll just keep doing it until I'm 100 years old. I had a great time. But anyway, we're not here to talk about our dead dreams. Okay? We're here to talk about the dying dreams of real housewives. That's right. On Monday, everyone, do not forget that we have, wait, is this Monday?

It's crappy hour. Yes. We have crappy hour, so get yourself excited about that. And on Patreon, you can join us, patreon.com slash watch for crapins, weekly bonus episodes. This week on our bonus episode, we did something very fun, very, very, very fun, which is that we watched with love Megan and we tore it apart. That was a delight, so go join us for that. And then we also have our video component, which you can get on Patreon at patreon.com slash watch what crapans. And then after a week, those videos go on to YouTube.

And you should follow us on YouTube, by the way, because YouTube is fun. So also, Red House of Potomac is returning this week. So don't forget to watch it because that will be back on Monday rotation here. Watch Rock Rapids. Which means Miami is moving up. So you should be getting a Miami recap even earlier this week. So check that out. And thanks for being here.

Thanks for being here, everyone. Okay. So now let's get into this Orange County episode, Not So Funfetti. I was actually cracking up. this episode. I was cracking up. They were so ridiculous. Also, I mean, Tamara was doing the pure Tamara victim thing. Emily was, Emily was, Emily and Gina were actually being like entertaining to me for the most part as much as they can be. And what I loved, you know, I've really grown to love Ms. Debrough. You know, there was a time when I really hated

Heather Debrough and I really, I really, I really, when was that? You've always loved Heather Debrough. No, there were times like, you know, many seasons ago. I, I didn't, there were times up be like, oh, she's the worst. But I've, it's more like I've, I've gone from like amused to, like, I'm starting to teeter into love. And, um, I just, I just love when she gets mad at someone. Because really, like, really no one tears into someone the way Heather Debrough does. I'm not saying she tears into someone better or worse. I'm just saying her style of it is so Heather Debrough. Because when she tears into you, it is terrifying. There's no one who I actually consider is terrifying. There are people I'm like, oh, don't mess with them. Like, don't mess with

with Kenya, don't mess with Porsche, don't mess with Derinda, but there's something about the way Heather does it, the way she curls her lips inwards, and she gets her claw hands out and she starts poking them. She pushes her chin out, like she gives herself severe underbite, and she's like, you were mean to me. Her eyes get really dark. You start seeing the smoke in her eyes as they just darken up like Coraline's mother. I mean, it is terrifying and so fucking funny. And they've all had it. They've all had it with Tamara's bullshit. And Tamara's trying her old tricks over and over and they're just not

working anymore. And it's so fucking funny. I mean, how many times this season has she been like, I quit? I'm not doing this anymore. Last time I'm ever filming anything every new. But this time she does it in a floral dress. So it's new. And I just love that. I love

that everyone was like, oh, shut up. They didn't even take the cakes, then. They didn't even take the cakes. Well, maybe I should name this episode. That takes the cake. I think you should name it. Some bitch left my cake out in the rain. I was going to call it seriously funny.

So we start off. Orange County is doing this new thing. Well, not new thing, but they just do this every once in a while, but they've been doing a lot this season where instead of seeing a previously on, it has to be like narrated to us through some sort of like Kiki moment.

Although on this show you, there's literally a Kiki moment with geeky, but we it's Gretchen Gretchen just came from the Megan Kelly salon and she's sitting down for some for some lunch with with Jen and

they are they're gonna they have some small talk about putting a purse on the floor Jen was like I was going to put my purse on the floor but had to tell me that's why I'm broke so Jen is asking Gretchen how she feels and we sort of get like interspersed with

like that party to somebody I mean can we just pause on that for a moment. Jenna's going to put her purse on the floor and Heather says, that's why you're broke. I mean, what a monster. That's why you're broke because your purse keeps getting stolen. Who says that? That's why you're broke.

You don't appreciate what you have. You leave it on the floor. God senses it and he refuses to send you more purses. That's why the only thing God sends you is a man in bad spray hair with you know clothes that he spray paints yeah pretty much so now we we see like flashbacks to that

to that fight and Jen's like well I'm so bum that you're not going to Tammer's party does it bother you she's like what no I'm bothered by how she tries to come in and be an asshole about it so we see more flashbacks and we one thing that we did not see last week which I thought

was so funny this cracked me up the Tamara stormed out of that out of the self-defense part, like luncheon last week. She's like, I can't see this anymore. But what we find out is that she came and goes, oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you guys I'm having a little party and you're not invited. And then she storms out again and goes,

Where florals? Where are you, flowers, bitching. I'm so right. That's where it's, buddy. Hi, I'm calm now. I'm having a spring, fling party. You're not about a great. You're stupid bitch.

Okay, everybody. See everybody else there. We're flowers. I'm disturbing at again. Don't forget to wear your florals, bitch. Well, we're not going to change her. I think it's time to just be mindful of where we want to give our energy. Okay?

And we're just going to be mindful. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Where's my purse? Where's my purse? Okay. Let's round up all the Alfredos. Let's ask who took it.

So now Tamara's setting up. I promised myself for 2020. I would not be blaming Alfredo for stealing anything else. So no, Tamara's setting up her spring fling party, and she's like hanging wisteria from like power lines or something like that in her backyard. And then Eddie shows up with like all the charisma of a wilted wisteria. Like, I mean, actually he is a wisteria. He's just a thing that dangles from a line that sort of gets in your hair.

Like, oh, okay, thanks. The useless, the useless wistair. I thought it was cute, though, because this show was based on Desperate Housewives. And so I like that all these years later, they're doing the Wisteria Lane, you know, wink and a nod. I think it's nice. Whoever knew that Real Housewives would outlast Desperate Housewives. Yeah. Eddie, in case he didn't know he's from Orange County, he comes in with his full-on motorcycle get-up.

He's got like American flags all over him. He's like, hey, honey. so she's saying how she needs this help getting ready for the party and he's going to wash down some tables and stuff and he's asking who's coming and she says you know who's coming and he asks if Shannon's coming and she's like you know I mean I'm fine with Shannon I wouldn't say great and then Tamara tells us that Shannon had texted her about Teddy and offered a treatment program for cancer which I think this is Shannon's love language she loves giving I can help you with your cancer. Yeah, Shannon should have, Shannon should, like, write a line of birthday cards that just say, Happy birthday, I can help you with your cancer. I know the best people.

She really does. She's really good at that. Remember, that was her thing with Brooks. She's like, I helped you with your cancer. You didn't even have it. You didn't even have it. I introduced you to people that's memorial. Royal Sloan catering or whatever it is.

I know people at Cedar Sinai. But then it's also like... I'm doing Cedar Sinai, Megan. I know people at the Mayo Clinic. Oh, you know what? Actually, I'll amend that I just know people who have Mayo. Apologies, a small distinction there. I wish there was a Mayo Clinic.

After everything I've been prescribed over the years, I have to tell you, Mayo has been the most effective. Hold on one second. I'm getting a phone call. Oh, it looks like they've got a slot for me at the Mayo Clinic. Yes, hello, this is Shannon Madore. Yes, I'm calling about, um, about, so my Mayo, I'm not sure if it's still good anymore. Can I bring it into the clinic?

Okay, great. I can do tomorrow. Um, hello, Mayo Clinic. I'm having a problem with my drive tuna. I was hoping that you could, you could see us sometime today. Oh, you're prescribing Mayo. Okay. Well, I would still like it to see a doctor.

Thank you. I, I am, I'm having some trouble with your online portal. and I was wondering if I could just bring my mayo in. I'm concerned because I'm wondering is there a way to make chicken salad with an alternate like yogurt? No, you recommend mayo? Okay.

All right, no, that's exactly what I was hoping for. Is there a specialist I could speak to about that? Hello, Mayo Clinic. It is the end of April, and I'm not really sure what the date is. Is it Mayo? No, okay. Wrong number.

I'm so sorry. Oh, God, I just broke my tooth on a piece of dried peanut. Do you know who I should call? Hi, this is Shannon Bedora again. I'm just calling to see if Dr. Wasabi is in. I have a question. So I've been trying to find Helmins on the West Coast, but all I can find is best foods.

Should I be concerned as Helmins, have they been taken off the market? Do they have poisoning? Oh, they're the same. Oh. Well, thank God there's a clinic for this. Thank you so much. Hello, Mayo Clinic.

I am at a sushi restaurant, and everything here is overdosed. And it is overdosing in mayo. It is overdosing. Why do we need this in the California roll? Why? Why? Seriously, though, why does California have to put mayo in the California roll? I hate that. I think that's one thing that Texas does better is not putting mayo in the California roll. They just put a chunk of crab. That's how it should be. I don't. Come on, man. I don't mind the mayo and that I really don't. In fact, I think I like it. I was never a mayo person. Somewhere along the line over the past 20 years, I became a mayo person. I don't hate me, you know? I just, I mean, my sushi. I just don't want it my sushi, you know?

I just don't want it there. I think it's all about having the proper proportion. You don't want it to be like overly mayo, but I like a little bit of little lubricant in there, you know? Well, a little mayo. Well, if you have been prescribed and it has been delivered. So, Tamara's like, yeah, she'll try to help me some cancer stuff for today. So, you know, she forwarded over some treatment programs. And I thought, well, maybe that's her other branch.

So I thanked her. And so, look, I'm still trying. I'm still trying so hard. Maybe last week when I suggested that she's probably an alcoholic because that's an alcoholic. That was a good. That was a good one. This is classic Tamara, framing herself as the victim to someone who's totally unreasonable and not willing to listen to her, try to be like a kind, good person.

And like you, you terrorized Shannon at her lowest moment of her life. You ridiculed her. You screamed at her. You accused her of being an alcoholic. And while those things may be true, you still did it at the worst time when you're supposed to be her friend. And then she's like, well, I'm trying. It's just like, huh, I guess I'll try and try again.

I've been a good person. It's so hard. But speaking of Tamara reframing things, this is so good. She goes, oh my God, Eddie. My back hurts. And he asks her why. And she goes, yeah, because I jumped over Gina. It was just a prank. It was just a prank. No, you thought you were going to get, you thought you were going to get attacked. So you literally jumped behind Gina and pushed her in front of you. It was not a prank. No, she's saying that the carjacking was a human shield.

She's saying the carjacking was a prank. Not that she said I jumped over Gina. It was a prank. Oh. Well, then they're like, like, now they're like mad. So I took it as like, that's not a prank. You were using that woman as a human shield. Now, do I blame you? No, I feel like Gino's were put on this earth to use as a human shield. Like, you know, we all need a purpose.

But. Excuse me. Hi, this is Shannon Bedora calling. Just wondering, does the Mayo Clinic, can it litigate any conflicts about pranks? No. Okay. What was that? I'm abusing the line.

Oh. Well, I, well, I, I, you know, I started this line. Goodbye. I start lines, Megan. Um, so Eddie's like, that's fucking stupid. Like, yeah, it wasn't cool. I'm a soaked on my own coffee. But did I suspect anything else than anything less from this bitch?

Oh, please. It was fine. It was a little prank. So Tamara's like, I mean, this girl cannot stop. So Gretcha's not allowed at my house. Because what if she carjacks my house? She can fuck a duck, but I don't even think a duck would suck her. I mean, that prank wasn't cool, but still.

So Tamara's like She's saying she hadn't heard about the sleepover But Emily was like Gripton got drunk and proceeded to tell Sorry about me That this pop singer, me and Jeff were fucking So we screamed and we yelled And 12 years later

That's what we're still fighting about Me fucking Hansen By the way, I just want to point out In terms of not cool pranks Getting someone drunk and seeing what they're going to do That's not a great prank either Just want to As long as we're talking about pranks

Too many years of pranks to, like, re-litigate, honestly, on this show. It's just too much. So she's like, yeah, there was 12 years of fuck you. She came out at one time. And this show, fuck you coming out, like, when she's screaming, Gratting, they show like, 29, 2009, 2009, 2002, 2011. It was so fun. Someone in the post-production department had a nice,

that's bit of fun with Apple Motion on that one. That was really good. Oh, fuck, yeah. And then I left out the best part. Yeah. It was like one of those late night albums back in the day that they would sell. And they would just like scroll all the names of the songs that were on there. That was like, 500 songs.

Fuck yeah. Well, guess what? His wife, the pop singer, Nelson, Nelson's wife, said Jennifer followed him today. And then he's like, why would she follow him? I don't know. but I'm going to ask her when she comes to the party tomorrow, because you know what I hate? People who dig up shit, like me,

digging up shit about someone who digged up shit on me. I mean, what's the purpose of following him? Yeah, Ryan, dresses, not his boy band, and dance in Cheetah. So maybe she thinks, man, maybe if I follow him, he'll fuck me. To be fair, have you seen Eddie? You all are dressed like you're following a 90s boy band. Maybe a, like a 1991 boy band.

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So Tamara's saying, And by the way, I don't understand what's going out with Heather. I'm not very happy with her. She was into this, you know. The calling me and listen to the calls, all that stuff. So Tamara's been trying to like brew.

Everyone's been trying to brew some sort of conflict between Tamara and Heather. So they're at it again. And now we see, you know, footage of Emily and, and Heather telling, you know, Gretchen, like, oh, let's, we want to hear them. We want to hear the song. We want to hear the song. Which, by the way, I don't think is a terribly offensive thing. If someone says, Tamara sang a song, I'd be like, I need to hear it. Let's hear what Tamara says.

So we can like, if someone came to me and said, I have a song of Ben singing and fucking, you know, Hanson. I'd be like, I want to hear it. Listen. I would be upset if you didn't listen. Yeah, I'd be like, I want to hear it right now. Okay, I'll pay you. Yeah, please. Of course, that's what friends do.

It's called support. Tamara's now just trying to act like, oh, my God, this was such a flagrant example of disloyalty, whatever. It's like, no. Yeah. She's trying it. She's trying it. So she goes, she storms out, but of course is just like hanging out in the parking lot waiting for people to come kiss her ass. And so Heather comes out.

And Tamara's like, like, she's sick off me, Heather. She goes, listen to me, I said this is gross. I don't want to hear about it. I mean, I just said it blanket all night long because I was talking to Gretchen and Emily, which we could have been talking about anything, and my reaction would have been the same. But still, I stood up for you. Well, I don't like what happened afterwards because Heather didn't even call me,

and I'm sorry, are you, say, are you okay, are you okay that you stormed out of the event? because you heard that there was a rumor about me sleeping with a boy bander. She didn't even call me about that. How many times did Tamara call Heather? There was a whole season. There was that season where, where,

remember the stupid thing where Heather was actually the brunt of everything, where Tamara said that Heather said something at BravoCon said that these, like everyone was dumb or something like that. And then he was like, can't believe you would say that. And Heather had to like, Heather was like crying in Mexico.

and, like, was basically on the verge of, like, leaving. Did Tamara call Heather after that? I'd like to know. Oh, my gosh. You're really digging back today. Remember that? Yeah, I do. I do.

But, you know, it's just like another, another brick in the Tamara's a hypocrite castle. Wow. And she's like, yeah, I don't know what happened after it, because she didn't call me. Nobody called me. Nobody likes me. So why is it her full, Tamara? Because Heather just, she doesn't take sides. And I get it.

Like, she doesn't want to argue, but I've been in France for 15 years. You were in my wedding. Just think of me this one time. Please, you take off for me this one day. Literally, you have this entire cast saying, Heather, you are like, why do you keep defending Tamara? Are you scared of her? Like, that's the storyline for Heather this season.

She's like, why don't she stand up for me? Everybody else is, like, stoning Heather because I was standing up. She's standing up for Tamara all the time. So now, oh, sorry. You know what I've learned? A friend to Anne. Everybody is a friend to nobody. Well, you are mistaken because I was never a friend to anybody on this cast.

Okay, I'm just paying my dues before that Beverly Hills check comes on through. Come on, Bravo. How long does a bitch have to live in a high rise in Century City before they graduate to another franchise? So now we go to a place called Artemé Barrow. And Heather comes up and she's like, I am wearing jeans. Hello Table 2 for Relatability

Thank you You can't say Relatable without table Inside of it Right I think You think about it Relate table Yes it works

So Actually my genes say Miss Dior Never mind You can send us to the best table Thank you My genes say Miss Dior

Because I'm about to meet Miss Bidor who had a Miss Demi-Nor. Oh my God, I'm freestyling. All the Drake proximity is rubbing off. It's like an improv game, if you will. Yes, and. Yes, and you can walk away from me now. Thank you. Yes, and, please leave.

So Shannon comes and she's like, oh, I just, I was looking for my glasses, but they're broken. Look, half my glasses are hanging off my face. She might as well just walk in with a slide whistle. Look at me. I'm wacky. I'm so I'm going to whatever America. She's missing a full-on arm on her glasses and still wearing them. And Heather's like, oh, poor Shannon, literally, she can just never show up somewhere looking ready. I mean, where's her butler? I mean, come on now.

So they are going to be She should have an Alfredo in front of her Just describing what he sees We know that if you're truly wealthy You never have to read anything You just get an Alfredo reader So Shannon they're there to do A Japanese art farm

Art form where they are Going to be breaking pottery Then re sort of epoxying it back together And so what they're supposed to do They're given like mugs I think And they have a mallet this during their off season. Isn't this

called going to the plastic surgeon? So isn't this called the Terry Debrose special? You're going to look crazy. This is like Vicki Gunnelson season 12 or whatever. These people going to break things and put them back together

and not seeing the Humpty Dumpty irony is so they have have to um also the irony is heather de brough who as they showed again this episode literally has had one of her somehow iconic moments is her complaining about a lady breaking a bow off of her cake and now she's breaking a mug but what's funny is they're just supposed to like take do one thwack just to like you know break something off the mug and then you go it's like a boom boom boom boom boom boom oh i thought this is how we're i thought you said treat the

mug like alfredo speaking of he just runs in and start sweeping up like mom no ma'am you're supposed to put that cut back together give me another one give me another one i've got it this time i've got it let's go from the top swipe the scene swipe the scene okay yes i have a mug i am supposed to he comes in the sweep so that ma'am wait ma'am question question before we break this mug we need to scene where are we i'm taking suggestions now anyone anyone where are we birthday party thank you birthday party thank you it has been a bad news day the bad news was um your your employee just swept up another mug my employee just swept up another mug thank you thank you mug Is this another improv game?

No, I'm just, sometimes I say that to my, my face. Okay. I really like the symbolism of repairing something that's broken. Sort of like repairing relationships with friends. Okay, I have a friend in town. This friend is from, oh, thank you, Alaska. Thank you. So now, Tina goes to a store.

and she's returning something, which I think she could be the opening of every Gina scene ever, because you know this is like an everyday occurrence. I already wore this. It doesn't fit right. Yeah. You know what?

I thought this one pretty, but I put it on and I felt bad. I felt bad. I feel bad because I want to support your stool, but it turns out I can't afford this. So I'm just going to say it's broken. It's like a shirt is broken? Yeah, it doesn't work.

So, Emily is there. Oh, I still haven't recovered from Heather's sleepover. Oh, God, so much wackiness. Wait, wait, can I tell you something? You know, like, El Gretchen and Tamara were, like, ripping each other's faces off. But, like, I was so excited that this was about, like, Hansen or, what's the name?

Nelson? Nelson, because this is your millennial girl's moment. Look, look, I got, look, me at the, me at the Nelson concert in 2021. Oh, it's me. Would you sleep with Goddun Nelson trying to return today?

Yeah. Quiet, Emily. Chush. Did you record a song with Gutter Nelson? So then it goes back to the pottery and she was like, oh, by the way,

did you happen to hear the song? Was it as good as anything that Brett Michaels ever sang with poison? And Heather's like, I did not hear it, mainly because I was tuning out everything those two idiots were saying because I was doing a contractually obligated scene with them. Like, oh, yeah, that's too bad. But mainly no one played the song. That's it. Well, you were saying yesterday you could hear moaning in the background?

Is that what you were saying? Well, they said that they were recording the song, and then it turned into sex, which I totally understand. Because the other day, I was in my kitchen, and Drake started singing a song. it turned into sexy time with me and Terry in our very special penthouse where we do sexy times, like normal human beings. Yes, we

had sexual times to a song called Hotline Blung. So then, I don't like, that's, don't understand that. So then she says, like, apparently they were recording song and it turned into sex. Well, I mean, how can you be

singing and moaning at the same time? Well, I don't know. Maybe it would just be like, uh, ah, uh, uh, a comedian. You're too generous, everybody. Sit down. Sit down. Maybe I'll just add singing and moaning to my IMDB. Thank you. Oh, I have to say I'm grateful that I wasn't involved in any altercation. That is insane to me and saying that people would fight, fight women, fighting women.

It's just... Well, you know, when I went outside with Tamara, I was like, when you behave that way, when you talk that way, when you're grabbing her wrists, you lose when you do that. Not now! Jeez! Sorry, I meant to sweep up that mug. Okay, okay. It's okay, Alfredo.

He's got a lot of rocks today. By the way, I want to invite everyone, if you are trying to break your mug, feel free to shatter it on Alfredo's head. I'll go first. Okay. That was good. Ma'am, another one of your employees came in

and is now sweeping up the other employee. Good, good, good. You've got to have some Alfredo's on reserve. Make sure they're bold. You wouldn't want to have a, chicken Alfredo Thank you Okay, that one was good

Maybe she is funny I have to admit I thought Hold on, let me This is a good That's a good reminder Hello, this is Shannon Bedore calling again For the Mayo Clinic

Now is there mayo in Alfredo sauce? No, that's a relief That's a relief although I So what should I do with the mayo I bought for the Alfredo sauce? Okay, the internet You say, okay, I'll look. Thank you. So back to Gina and Emily.

The problem I had is how aggressive Tamara is. That's what Skid had them. Like, she doesn't like when people get aggressive. Yeah, she doesn't like conflict. Because at the slumber party in L.A., we did a conflict game, and there were shady questions. And one of them was like, doodla-doot, doodoo-doo-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-l-d-d------. Why are you doing that?

Who do you trust the least? That's the question, Heather do, bro. I mean, Tamara. I mean, would you give camera sensitive information? No? No, I'd give her aggressive information. No, that's not what that means, you idiot. Too bad, eh, I'm going back to the future.

So, I said, do I trust her with sense of information? I said, fuck no, because I'm smart. I would never trust her with sensitive information. I will only back her up with everything she does and says and be her puppet. That's it. So then back to Shannon, she's like, well, Tamara told me in Temecula that I'm a grudgeholder, and she's not a grudge holder. Can you believe she said that? I've thought about it every moment since. Well, I think we all are to a certain extent. Wealthy, that is. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was talking to my real group of friends. Oh, yes, grudgeholders, probably not. Well, traumatic things happen to you. You don't forget them. Do you? Is it normal to just forget?

Why is this cut moving back and far? I can't, I can't vote. It's your glasses. Straighten your glasses, Shannon. Oh, my God, take. Hey, I did have a trauma earlier today when I was reaching for my orange juice from a high shelf and the mayo fell on my glasses. And broke them so it all ties together. Looks like I'm the one I need to go to a clinic.

Anyway, Heather, I was just saying that, you know, when there is trauma, you know, you don't forget it. It's like, yes, I know. It's funny because when I was younger, my dad. I used to get mad in restaurants, and that was my trip. Okay, well, anyway, I just felt like there was a lot of nitpicking on the trip, and your name did come up. But I was trying to advance my trauma storyline. I'm sorry.

I can't see you, so I can't really hear you right now. I'm sorry, Heather. So then we see the flashback to Shannon telling the girl. So Heather is taking comedy classes. Oh, boop. And Gina's like, oh, I don't see Heather as a comedian. Yeah, I don't see her doing improv. Oh, yeah, I can see her Terry doing it, though.

That's a funny guy. That's a funny guy. The best thing coming on TV is botched. I love that show. You guys ever seen that lady with a birthday coming out of her forehead? Stugger. So, I said, Heather, that you were doing groundlings. No, that's just what I call.

The gardeners. I'm doing UCB. Totally different. So you're doing groundlings and they said, why is Heather doing comedy? She's not a comedian. Only comedians can do comedy. And I said, well, she was just invited to Saudi Arabia. So why? Heather, as most comedians do, gives Shannon the angriest, most evil look. I mean, I love every time someone challenges Heather about being funny, she returns. with like the Coraline mom's face. Like, yes, there's comedies, Heather DeGrow. She's out, eyes dark, brows up.

Let me, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. I am a comedic actress. That was not a jerk. And, Alfredo, don't you dare do that again. I am a comedian. Stop that. And I've done stand-up.

Stop it. I will tell you when to do that. I've also done. stand up. You know, it is extremely disappointing to me that I constantly have to defend anything I've done in my life or my career. And then we flashed back to Alexis Bellino in 2013 saying, yeah, I've never seen one movie on Heather's, that Heather's been in. Like, I mean, like, young and hungry. What is that? A porno? Do I have to read my IMDB all over again?

Well, they were just saying you're not really a comedian. That was a joke. That was a joke. Alfredo. Alfredo! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Well, you know, they were just saying, you're not really a comedian. And I said, if I look at Heather, I think of more like a serious actress, you know, like Meryl Streep. Well, like that lady who, you know, follows behind Meryl Streep and makes sure that her dress is stained. Oh, a dresser. Yes. Like a dresser, I suppose. How dare you?

Well, you know, I'm just saying, it's a very, very big set. You would be on very big sets. Huge sets. Just not being funny. I'm, on the, I don't know. Am I offending you, Heather? There's smoke coming out of your ears. Yes, you are.

Let me tell you something, America. I could be the most humorless person in the world, which sometimes it's hard to imagine theoreticals but if i want to i mean i consider this growth honestly i could be the most humorless person in the world and if i want to take stand-up comedy classes then i will buy each and every audience member and make them laugh okay you should be like that's a great idea support me that's what friends do and it's really hurtful if you're not supporting me things are funny. For example, I hit Alfredo's retainer and then offered him popcorn.

Terry and I got a good laugh of that. Alfredo didn't. He never found the retainer. Have you ever noticed the differences between men Alfredos and women Alfredos? Men Alfredos are all like, hey, how do I enter the servants entrance? And the women Alfredos are like, I want I want to just go shopping, but I can't because I have to do the dishes right now. Am I right, everyone? Oh, God. So they're still trying to put these cups together, and it's hilarious. And Heather's is just covered in glue.

And so Shannon's asking her, what are all the holes for in the cup? I don't really understand this. And she's like, this is so that you let the people that aren't right in your life leave. Alfredo put this around your neck. we make sure that all of our workers have many holes in their cups because it teaches them to do things fast if you want to drink your water drink it before it leaks out of your cup that's how you do it now we are going to show you what people who keep using the tata at the wrong times get had me one of those cups okay hand me some glue alfredo why are you sweeping that up get back over here so now we go over to a gen scene and we're a gold rush tattoo

because Dawson is going to get a tattoo. Dun dun, yeah. I don't know why it's going to be in the military. I'm getting a tattoo. It's what we do.

So we do you get your tattoo in the military. But that's okay. So he's going to I would just like hit tear drops all over my face. So that when I showed up, everybody scared of me. I would just tattoo a big rainbow. flag on my chest and be like guess he's here army so uh see how they deal commercials here comes one

right now so he is going to get four sevens across his chests which i don't i don't think anyone understands why he's doing that including him but he's decided he's going to do it and uh he's been wanted to do this since forever we even see like a video at one point of him like as a little kid saying he wants to get sleeves. So Jen's saying, Dawson's going to get his tattoo regardless of how I feel about it. And I'm like, everyone's going to do anything they want regardless of how you feel about it, Jen. Unfortunately, that's just sort of your lot in life, by the way. Yeah. She's like, but I'm here. I'm here to watch him. And I'm just so thankful he's letting me be here. So why are you getting that, Dawson? 7-7-77. He's like, I don't know. Is it because

it's my birthday? Okay. Because that's my birthday. Okay. That's so sweet, Dawson. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for honoring my birthday. So wonderful. I'm just so proud to be Dawson's mom, but everyone says, you know, your son's going to come back different.

And she tells, this is actually really sad because she talks about how, like, it's really scary, and her son wants to go into recon. And she's like, I don't want him to come back different

because he's perfect the way he is. And, you know, my heart kind of broke for her with this, because it must be absolutely nerve-wracking to what, to send your child off to the military, you know? So then this is making him nervous,

though, really nervous about getting his tattoo and so they decided to distract him with something that won't give him anxiety at all his mother marrying a guy who's probably going to con her and leave her and cause more trauma for their family so Ryan feels like a wedding ceremony is good for the kids and I do too but how do you feel Dawson how do you feel about a or Harrison you're here too how do you feel about a beach wedding with your mom in a bikini um they're like he's great we love him are you sure you really like him yeah we thought we'd hate him because dad told us to hate him, but, you know, like, you know, I like him. I like him. I mean, I love acid-washed jeans

mom. She's like, oh my God, you guys, we are so bonded right now. We are so bonded. Like, he treats you so well, right? He treats him so well, mom. Oh, my God. We love him. So now he's going to get his tattoo. And we see like a flashback of him being a little kid. And he's sitting on a couch. He's like, I'm going to get a tattoo one day of my mama and a bus. I can't wait to get a tattoo. Like, he's been really fixating on getting tattoos. like his whole life. So, you know, I mean, it's not a huge dream. That's kind of a sad dream.

Okay, it's a bowling alley dream. But it's nice to see somebody achieving it. Yeah. So, unfortunately for him, he hates needles. So he's super nervy and he's sweating and like they're calming him and everything. And they're doing the sevens and everything's going well. Just like, look at this. You're almost done.

You only have three more sevens and all the shading to do. and then another tattoo after that, and you're almost done. Don't you worry. And he starts to feel a little not well. And then all of a sudden he like, his leg starts to shake. And then he starts to pass out. And they show him, and it's like, it's terrifying. He is like his face is like, like, like he is fully like knocked out and pale.

He's like green. But the people at the tattoo place, like, oh, yeah, this happens all the time. Oh, yeah. No big deal. What is it a little sepsis today, Deborah? What we got? What we got? I was like, was this me watching new Roney?

wow so they uh they put some stuff under here now that happens all the time don't worry about it hey hand me the shocker what do you mean the shocker just unplug the iron let's plug his finger into the socket just get it and wait a minute what are you doing oh he's back he's back yeah he's fine i told you it was fine it's a very utilitarian tattoo it's there's no font you know there's no like seven set flaming sevens or like the lucky sevens in the jackpot right it wasn't wasn't that? It was just like very, it was like Helvetica 7s. Bold. Yeah. It was. It was a choice. And I'm when he finally decides what the meaning is, I'm sure it will be very meaningful for him someday. So he, he survives. And as Jen says, good luck in the Marines. So then now we go to Emily. She's sweeping her floor, which is a very Emily thing. She's like, oh my God. I swear to God. Oh, the dog hero is a gleeble.

It's right here out. Why don't I get you one of those little robot vacuum to think? Shane, okay, you can get me a Roomba. It can't be for my birthday or Christmas, okay? It can't be a gift. Can I put a turkey sandwich on the Roomba and have it to me from the kitchen? Don't forget when you proposed to me, you tried to put a Dyson on my finger. I won't forget.

So they get pizza. And there's no, there's no plain pizza for Luke, because I guess they're going to try to, like, encourage him to eat with that, like the pepperoni and stuff, but he just has rice. And Emily is saying, basically, he's, he's on the up and up. The boys are seeing therapists. And essentially, Luke is diagnosed with a learning disability as well as other things. And so, and Shane has been diagnosed with being an asshole. So he has, so they're basically like, Shane, be nicer to your child. Because Shane, I think, was trying to do like a sink or swim sort of thing.

He like, I think was, he was trying to not coddle, but he overcompensated. So now he's being more supportive. And I guess they're seeing some improvement from Luke. Yeah, so he had a learning disability and stuff. And she's saying, you know, she's questioning her own parenting because aren't these things she should have noticed? Like, where were the red flags? Did I bring him too late? He's highly intelligent in certain areas, but he's in the fourth grade, and I didn't know he could read.

That's crazy. But she's very up on the podcasters that Katie's been talking to. So it's, you know, like, you put our focus on different things. It's not even mom shaming. I'm just like, wow. You know what? I think I'm read shaming, like in general. Like, I don't know.

I used to be forced to read. I would hate it. And I wasn't even forced to read the best things in the world because my mom liked reading, like Danielle Steele. or Mary Higgins-Clark, you know, either kind of romance thrillers or just thriller, thrillers, murder. So I've read, like, so many murder things. I read a lot of Dean Coontz. I was like, in the third grade. I was like, wow, Carrie.

Carrie's amazing. She's my, I think my first gay icon was Carrie because I was first, I was forced to read so young. So I guess that's where my shot comes in. I'm like, get your kids off the roadblocks and on to some book blocks. How about that? Yeah. like I mean obviously like my my old cooter kind of like is it would be like yeah that but I'm like you know what honestly I don't know I don't know like I don't know what it's like to be a mom when it comes to the parenting stuff it's like what the fuck do we know I don't know like I think it's probably it doesn't mean well I wonder if she's overstating it or whatever I think I think it's like weird things like that can happen I mean Gina was just saying I mean never get to go to Gina but like she was saying she wasn't aware that that one of her kids was having an issue.

Like, I think it's, I think it's hard. And, um, you know, I don't know. I could only, I'm like, anyone in the school. My tank for, for weighing in on Emily's parenting is like running dry at this point. Well, it's not even, it's not even, I'm really not even criticizing her parenting. I'm just, I guess I'm questioning how you could get to the point where you don't know your kid doesn't, like, doesn't the school tell you? Like, isn't there someone who's like, that's what surprised you know, I'm actually more, I'm not, I'm actually not. I don't, I'm not surprised with Emily.

I'm more surprised that the school did not flag it personally. The school did not flag that there was. Yeah, I guess I'm just saying like, how does that happen? Because listen, it takes, it takes a village to teach a child not to read. That's what I'm saying. Like, where did we go wrong? It's really, really scary. It's really, really scary.

Kids fall through the, the, the cracks. I mean, you know, that's, that's, that's just saying how we wound up with, that's how we wound up with Ryan. Ryan fell into the crack. So he dove into the crack. So they're talking about, you know, dealing with the kid and stuff. And he said that the kid told him a couple weeks ago, hey, daddy, do you know what ADHD stands for? Attention, deficit.

Hey, a dog. That gets a bigger laugh than anything I do. Come on. Now that's a comedian. Heather's just out there in the bushes like crushing cups crushing cups. She's taking notes. Okay, let me look at the structure of that.

ADHD attention deficits. Hey, hey, there's a dog. Here's the thing, though. There's no T in the ADHD, so this joke shouldn't even work. So now, Tamara's setting up her party, bitches. She's wearing a flowery dress. And she looks kind of crazy dress like that.

Because it's Tamara, you know? I feel like tamera should always be dressed in like a skin tight red leather thing with like devil horns. Yeah. I just feel like florals, this is just not the cast for florals. This is the cast for like cutouts and leopard print, you know, but not florals. So there's big plastic rings holding the fabric together around the breastplate. You know what? In the spirit of spring, let's just bring forward in a new beginning.

A new beginning for everyone except for Gretchen. Katie. So I thought it'd be fun to have a spring fling. I'd been fling some mud at each other. So we see Lisa, the gluten-free cake artist, show up at the door. Oh, hey, maybe you sit there

being me, but I'm getting so soft. Like me, it's just making cakes. So, wait, I'm not going to be bows at time. And then we see a flashback of Heather being like, That woman came into my home, took the bow.

off of my cake and eat it. You have defiled my cake. Remember that girl? I was just like, oh, I keep talking, but I ain't do nothing with the cakes. I ate some of it. What I do?

They built like a whole season off of that. So that was one of the funniest seasons of all time. That was a classic. Yeah. So then there's, There is a cake for Gretchen, but Gretchen will not be attending. Instead, Gretchen is doing some crazy photo shoot in like a park somewhere with Slade and her daughter. And they're all dressed up.

It's like an Easter photo shoot. But what I kind of get the feeling with Gretchen Slade is that they do Easter photo shoots every month of the year. It's like, well, it's August 13th. Time for our Easter photo shoot. So this one, she's even holding a bunny, you know, this poor bunny is just looking like, God, just fucking kill me already. Like, geez, turn me into mittens already. Get me out of here. So Shannon calls and check.

Well, I just wanted to check and see if you're okay because what happened was just, oh, is this another Easter shoot? Yes, can't. Is it even Easter? Do you remember when you did an Easter shoot for Christmas? I hate that Santa Claus cry. Remember when you told Santa Claus he would never replace Jesus? What's so?

Wow. So I just wanted you to know, Gretchen, that if you're wondering, what I recently did find out is that Mayo is shelf stable, but once you open it, you really should refrigerate it. Let him get the hard way. But thank God there's a hotline for that.

So just calling to pass on the news. Pay it forward. You know what I'm saying? That's so sweet to you to call me. Thank you for that. What are you doing? Oh, you're on your way to Tamara's, aren't you? Let's be honest, I'd rather poke my eyes out with forks and go to Tamara's spring fling party. I mean, there's so many things I'd rather be doing, like watching my feet.

I don't know. Well, Gretchen, Gretchen Rossi, who I have no relationship with, but I'm calling because you hate Tamara. You know, she and I are good now, but, you know, if I were you, I would have a conversation with her about that because it's it's not okay what she did it is it is it is it is it is it is not okay okay are you mad yet do you want to get mad at tamara again i heard gretchen apologize i heard it but that's the difference because tamra gets any little bit of information and she just runs off and tries to hurt someone oh she can't take it she can't take it i love that shaman is even getting herself so worked up in her diary room she's like okay tamara well let's

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