Watch What Crappens - #3026 Crappy Hour 10/06-25: Alexis Gets Married and Scheana Fights With LaLa

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Wedding bells rang in Orange County when Alexis married Johnny J and Shannon’s face money paid for it, Scheana and Lala are spatting, and Special Forces is testing the Bravo people. We go live every other Monday at 5:30 PT at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and youtube.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello, and welcome to Crappiawa. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. How you doing, baby? Hi, Ronnie. Who are you?

Happy Monday. I'm really good because it's been a really heavy Sheena week on the news, which means Sheena comes on to explain things, and it's like a lot, like a lot of paragraphs with no commas, you know? Yeah, I love that. How about you? Um, everything is great over here. I'm just, you know, just, uh, enjoying the start of the week.

I'm so happy Potomac came back last night. I mean, you know, it was nice not having to podcast on Mondays necessarily, but, uh, that show is so funny. And I've been chuckling about it all day. Chuckling, I say. You've been chuckling. Chuckling. I chuckle all the time. That's all I do.

You've been chuckling during your daily ballet. And, um, I'm wearing a very shiny shirt today. And also I took a nap today after we were. recorded and I woke up on my face. Look at me. I looked like I just smoked five blunts. I did not, everybody. I woke up on my face. Okay. I was a terrible way to sleep. I did dishes. After sleeping on my face. You know, I've been, I've been, I tried some of those. I think I talked about wearing those compression sleeves and they're so comfy. But like when you get your, take your legs out of them. Yeah, everything looks crazy. Your your legs look like stained glass. There's so much. creasing and strangeness yeah have you considered that compression sleeves are kind of a weird form of masturbation because that's what they sound like like masturbation well i'm trying to be clean as i'm sitting here like children watching i'm trying to use the french it's like leg masturbation um i saw you showed a video of it and it's still disturbing well you showed i think

You with a massage chair because we do those Amazon lives, you know, and Ben brought out this massage chair, and I swear to God, it looked like you were getting down with yourself on the thing. Because it has a leg thing, and you put your leg in there, and it's like, yes. It's a very sensual sales bitch. I was like, everyone, buy this foot massager. Whenever I want to think of this next time you're getting sexy with yourself. I'll just start out of Lars and his legs, only fans. of me having my foot. Well, okay, well, you know what was so funny?

I felt, I felt fat shamed by those sleeves because I put on the sleeve and I had it on. And like after, it's like squeezing and squeezing and it inflates and squeezes. And then at one point, the zipper just came undone. The zipper's like, ugh. And it just like went brr-r. And I was like, geez, sorry.

So everybody in the comments is already talking. And it looks like the big subject so far this week is Stacy's breath on real house lives of Potomac, which I still find one of the more mortifying housewives storylines in a long time. Because look, people live through a lot on real housewives. It's like, your husband's cheating on it. You know, he's not. Then the husband's cheating on. You were like, you've got all these criminal offenses. And they're like, no, I don't. And then they go to jail, you know. And those do follow you around, but those are like kind of normal. This poor woman is going to be going around the rest of her life. And people are going

to be like, that's the chick with bad breath from Real Housewives of Potomac. And that's just not right. That's not fair. It's not right and it's not fair. Yeah. It's, I mean, it's tough, but like there's some people, you know,

we've met them in life where every time you see them, you know they're going to have bad breath. And it's like, it's not bad breath from like not, not like brushing necessarily. There's like some, there's like some rot or something in there. Or like,

Jazeel says it comes from like deep within. And it's like a medical thing. And so like I try to be like respectful and ignore it. But like sometimes. Respectful and ignore it. What if you weren't? What if you're just like, You're like, you know, they said on the show that it comes from her gut.

And I wonder if she just doesn't eat. Because if you don't eat a lot, you get bad breath. I know, because I've been on so many diets. And, you know, there are sometimes where I've just, like, flat up not eaten for a really long time and you get like that. I don't know what it is, but here's what I know. We're already spending this show, which is my fault, I know, talking about her breath. And it's just never going to go away. And I feel back for, like, BravoCon is coming up.

She's going to be a Bravo con. And everyone's going to be like, ew, go smell Stacey's breath. And people are going to be asking her for pictures. And every picture she's in, you're going to see the people kind of like leaning over to smell, you know, like. Ronnie, if you feel bad for her for one second, don't because you know it will be in about a week or two. She's going to come out with a partnership with some sort of like breath freshener or mint. And she's going to be doing the whole thing. He's going to be making money off of this.

Like, you don't have to worry. She's going to, she will capitalize off of her breath situation. And honestly, I think that the- Sometimes it's fasting breath. Yeah, or a rotting tooth. Doa also says sometimes it's a rotting tooth. So, yeah, I was definitely, I was hanging out with some people yesterday. And we were playing a long game.

And, like, I could tell one of them was hungry because, like, I don't know who it was. But there was some breath that was happening at the table. And I was like, well, you know. Oh, Beverly Bryant in the comments said, Camille said the same about LVP. Wow. Well, I think hers was cigarette breath. Remember? Because they were like, she always smells like cigarette and wine.

Cigarettes and wine. Because I remember thinking, well, that's not a, that's not a criticism. That's, that's like, it's like, oh, that smells like a person who's living a really fun life. You know. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like Lisa Vanderpump, her breath probably always smells like she just had poached salmon. Because I feel like she probably always has just had poached salmon. Lisa?

So it's just. I think tuna tartar. It's even worse. It's tuna tartar. that's all she eats she eats it for breakfast like fruity pebbles she just throws it in a bowl you know it's the worst is like milk breath why has milk breath so bad it's like that you know i don't know but other things went on this week let's stop talking about breath because now i'm like you know where you like trying to smell your own breath yeah you start blowing it in your own nose and

wondering you know i'm like what is my breath smell it never maybe i just can't smell it because it's me you know that by the way that trick never works for me i'm like does my breath smell bad i'm like I'm like, I'm like, I just smell my hand. Does my hand smell bad? Was it my leg masturbator? So, hi. Okay, so what else happened in the week other than someone having terrible breath? Sorry, Stacey.

God, you don't deserve. Stacy, you deserve better. I'll give you that. You deserve a deal with certs. You deserve better. Gum health. Okay. So let's get on.

with the stories of the day, shall we the big story of the week? Speaking of smelliness, Alexis Bellino, Marries John Jansen in a rustic chic wedding, everybody. It was rustic chic.

I like that she shiplap that shit. She Joanna gains that shit right up. Yeah. Yeah, I think rustic chic, it's hard for me to like conceive of the concept of chic. Like,

I can't pair the chic with Alexis Bellino and definitely not with John Jansson, even in its most rustic form. I'm not sure if I believe that. I think probably like rustic basic is what it was. Base, base model rustic. Well, yeah, take the chic out of it. And you shouldn't base the theme of your wedding on your husband's general look. I mean, rustic is when things are just not great looking.

Let's face it, like when you go to a rustic restaurant, it just means that they'll dig up a potato and throw it on your. plate. Like, there's no presentation. It's some ugly shit. And we live in California. We get served food like this all the time. Ben loves it. I'm like, no. Oh, yeah. You know, like, cut it, cut it nicely. That's what I say. I literally just made some rustic cabbage. Do you want to see a picture of my rustic cabbage? Sure. Like this is. Let's very like Alexis Bolino coded. Okay. Oh, hold on. I'm waiting for it to clear. See, that looks like John Jansen's face. That's what I'm saying. It's rustic. He looks like a, he looks like a rustic cabbage.

over so overexposed it's right yeah well that's fair he is definitely a rustic cabbage version of war you're gonna have a wedding and make the theme like driftwood because that's what you're marrying evil driftwood i think is what he is you know like when people spend a hundred dollars on pieces of wood to put in their house you know it's like it's rustic driftwood some fucker found that on the street and just just trying to sell that on ebay for five hundred dollars or whatever that's this wedding yeah i'm sure there's like a lot of like ropey things in it like there's probably what do you call that when there's like the like macrame or something I'm sure like where you I'm sure that she has like some sort of like ropey netting thing that looks like it would like be to use like catch tuna but she has like

little like your table seat your seat wherever you're sitting is probably like all tucked away in those things and there's probably like mason jars everywhere and I say this is someone Mason jars, you know, there were Mason jars. Yeah, and I'm a Texas. I'm a Texas boy, so I'm used to a good Mason jar wedding. They're like, oh my God, we spent all night putting candles of Mason jars, which, by

the way, are not a cheaper way to do things. Those things are not cheap. Mason jars. They're not. I feel like, do you think she did something stupid at each table, like a questionnaire you have to fill out to get to know everyone else at the table or like a Kodak Advantics camera where you take

selfies and stuff. That's a good idea, though. I'm not, I'm not going to diss that. I like those. I like when people leave the little cameras on the table and then you take pictures of, you know, the table takes pictures and then you develop all the pictures at the end and you see what everybody was doing at the wedding. I mean, that is so touching. Every one of me is like picking up the mason jarf in the table being like, like making a face like tacky and then shoving it in my purse, you know, so I can take it later because that shit's expensive. I, um, I like, you know, sometimes at weddings, they show the bride in the room throughout the years. And I hope that they did that at this wedding, mainly because I hope they just have like a picture at one table of Alexis doing the news.

Like that's, that would be really important to me. Like her newscasts are era. I think one of the games at the shower was everybody gets like a different little representation of a face and then you put it together. And it's the it's the facelift that John Jansen paid for by the end. You know, you just like put it all together. And it's Shannon like waiting her finger. Oh! I really wish I would love to have witnessed the vows,

especially her vow that she would have said to John Janssen. It's probably like, Johnny J., from the moment that I first laid eyes on you, wasted at the quiet woman, head down in a plate of Shannon Spaghetti, trying to ignore her yelling, I knew you were the man for me. I couldn't imagine a life where I didn't have your

floppy face and knowing that there was another soul out there who I could sue Shannon with just made me feel like I'd found the other part of my puzzle that was missing a piece and that piece was you, a litigious little piece of my jigsaw puzzle. I knew I would love you from the moment I met you. Johnny J., having you is like winning an old chicken bone under a freeway that has been discarded and has been being fought over by two unhoused human beings. And I won. I won this chicken bone, Johnny Jay. I feel like she said Jesus a lot.

I wonder if she referenced like trampoline parks, you know? Like in this life of bouncing up and down. And never hurting yourself, of course. You need a partner. A partner like Johnny Jay. Johnny Jay, I would like to see pictures of him when he's young. Because one of these pictures where they're in the sunlight and they're hugging. She's like holding his head from behind.

like she's pulling him closer and he just looks like he fell and she's like dad are you okay and she just picked him out she's like you need to go to the hospital dad answer me answer me are you in there dad not now that come back dad come back well i am i love the article that people make sure i love the article that how they describe things uh it was in lugana beach it was um a wedding attended by 140 of the couple's closest family members and friends, including Orange County's Tamara Judge, Joe De La Rosa, and Heather Amin. If you are name-dropping Heather Amin, you've reached, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Heather Amin is barely even associated with this show. And the fact that she has to like, I'm surprised she wasn't like,

and also the driver who drove Gina and Tamara through a fake carjacking. She was there too. the buttercream lady from real house size of orange cat. Who's Heather Amin? So I think it was last season or maybe the season before. I think it was the season before. There was a lot of like Ryan is cheating on Jen and she and he sent dick photos to Heather Amin and there was this other girl, Heather Amin, who showed up for one episode. But it was this controversy where it was like Heather and Tamara and Jen Padranti were like on a text thread together and was all about

Heather Amin but also by the like she's the one who got the limp wiener sense yeah I mean look if I was the person who got the limp wiener photo from Ryan unsolicited and it like traumatized me I would at least expect my name in the people article to be blue like have a blue line under where you could click my name I feel so bad for she doesn't even have a blue line look at her plain ass name up here look I'm gonna highlight it so she feels better well also look they didn't even give a give a hyperlink for Galena they give to make me dynasty but not for galena i still don't know like galena is there i think she just was determined

to go to a wedding since she missed the last one on her show because she crashed her car she's like she just thinks she's not make me wedding she's at the right she must go to fake wedding finally got here we are like family we are like family i missed i unfortunately crashed car before i could see person marrying other person in boring way so i'm hoping to make up With this right now, fingers crossed. If you cross her, I will kill you. So we envisioned a dreamy romantic, rustic, chic vibe with earthy elegance. That sounds disgusting.

Earthy elegant. Listen, if I've ever, if I ever meet somebody and I'm telling Ben about it, I'm like, hey, Ben, I met somebody today. They were earthy. That means they smell, okay? I've never used the word earthy to describe somebody that doesn't smell. earthy elegance that's like the time i ran a tough mutter remember i am hilarious i am a comedian but do but do but do that's seinfeld earthy like the groundlings so the bravo star instantly knew her breathtaking venue was the one she stepped out of her car first visit and immediately felt the presence of her mother penelope who passed She was also drawn to its intimate setting.

Well, that's where I want to get married. Where I'm like, you know what? This reminds me of someone who's passed away. It's earthy. I'll take it. Here's my deposit. So our venue gave us that perfect mix. Earthy Kitch.

Oh, my God. That's totally my drag name. Earthy Kitch. Earthy Kitch. Oh, Earthy Kitch. Get it. Get it. You're like, no.

earth a kit everyone earth a kit it's two puns on top of one it needs to be one like eartha kit or earthy kit you can't how about this earth earthy kit earthy kit earthy kit more like earthy shit Alexis bellino there punchline um her venue gave us that perfect mix of natural beauty and privacy nestled between the canyon and the sea Oh my gosh. I wish it was closer to the sea, like in the middle of it. Okay.

They had an incredibly emotional and spiritual rose ceremony honoring the couple's loved ones as Waymaker played in the background. I don't know what that is. And then at the reception, the newlyweds had their first dance to I got you, babe. Originally, Alexis was excited because she thought the lyrics were, I got him, Shannon. But unfortunately, she was corrected. Got you, babe. Got you. I got you, babe.

I got Jenny J, babe. Guess we're highly discouraged from wearing black. I love that they had to tell people. Please don't wear black to our wedding. Like, that was actually a fear where Alexis was like, oh my God, people are going to wear black for my wedding. I would have. Shannon would have.

We should have all done it in solidarity with Shannon. Just shown up back. I would have loved Shannon showing up like a funeral, just like in a black veil, like little black fascinator, sitting in the back and morn I know casting their curse No one knows who it is

Melissa Gorga thinks of her sister Yeah There's a picture of John And Alexis I think it's like After the wedding And he looks deranged He looks absolutely deranged I don't know

Hold on Yes that one We're like facing the wind machine Did his forehead grow four centimeters? I don't know what happened here. I don't know, but it's an interesting palette. It's an interesting choice. I mean, good for her, I guess.

You know, the horrible people deserve love to, I guess. That's what I tell myself every day, at least. But, you know, there was some problem in this. Because she disinvited someone very important. And that was castmate, Jennifer, pedrante, done, done, done, something. old something new something borrowed something blue but not something orange that's how page six puts it it's very poetic they're writing yeah that's very very poetic um yeah this is like a surprise because essentially apparently like jen was going to be there but alexis had some sort of like medical

procedure she had to undergo and she reached out to jen and jen was not there never responded and never followed up and that's when alexis realized like maybe this is is not the friend for me. And so, even though Jen got to save the date, when it came time for the invitations, she received a text message instead that said, There's the door, friend of Shannon Bador. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. I get that Alexis is just calling pages. She's calling the press with all of this news. But why is the press listening? Why does anybody care about Alexis and John Jansen's wedding. Why? And why this? Like, this is so crazy. This is whole other stories. This was like a whole other news cycle where she's like, yeah. Despite everything she was going through, Alexis reached out to Jen before the procedure to share what was happening. And sadly,

she never received a response or a check-in for Jen during that time. That was personally difficult. That was personally difficult. Now, we're not going to elaborate on the nature of the medical emergency, fixing your nose before you get married, probably. But it was bad. And she felt a truly strong bond with Padranti and genuinely wanted to include her. But the lack of support made her reevaluate their relationship, you guys. So she had to make some tough decisions about who would be included. I love when people hold their wedding like, oh, no, you don't get to come to my wedding.

They still send you that gift registry, though. Yeah, well, Alexis, this is how you wind up with having to name drop Heather Amin. because you disinvite people over stupid stuff. I mean, I'm sure, like, it sucked if Jen wasn't there for you, but to disinvite from the wedding, that just shows how tenuous your relationship was in the first place. Yeah, she said that she told the Padranti that it may not be the right time

because I feel a shift in our connection, and I sense some distance. So right now, Lexus is focused on health, happiness, and the love she's building with John. Okay, guys. When reached out to Jen, it's not in here, but, oh, yeah, it says Alexis continues to believe that Jen is a good person and wishes her nothing but the best, adding, she remains hopeful that they can reconnect in the future. The door is always open. And Padranti says, I respect Alexis's decision. And I wish nothing but the best for her and John. And, you know, I did get the disinvitation. And I just want to say, thank you so much. Thank you so much for thinking of me and reaching out. Thank you so much. I appreciate it so much.

Thank you so much. Speaking of Jen Padranti, Mike in the chat just said that Dawson fainted during his Marine graduations during a marine graduations or how he already graduated. I feel like he just got in there. What? Is it quick? But he fainted. And I guess he, I guess it has something to do with, I don't know, some illness or whatever. But this guy is kind of having a tough run.

of it, huh? Geez, poor guy. I wonder what's going on. Yeah, two faints, like a tattoo fainting. Because everyone, people were kind of like joking, like after the tattoo thing, like, oh, well, good luck in the Marines, but now he's actually fainted. It's like, uh, can we look into this a little bit, poor guy. Yeah, you know, it is just kind of worrisome.

That whole tattoo scene, I've thought, what's going on here? I mean, I would have been freaking out. If I was in there, I would have been like, what did you do to him? You get him out here. You try trying to kill my son. to kill my son you know like i would have been throwing a fit i almost threw a fit just as a viewer watching it but the commenters like that's no big deal it happens when you get tattoos it triggers something and some people where the fear of needles turns into a thing and they're like totally used to

it and i'm just surprised because i've literally never seen the internet be so calm about anything like the internet's where you go to to find people being as dramatic as possible it's like oh my god what could this be and like list 30 different diseases that this could be and And, you know, this is, this is like the one thing that I've ever come to the internet to read comments about that people are like, well, no bigs. No bigs. Yeah, I was surprised because it was like very scary for me to watch. I mean, he like, his face became ashen. Like when he passed out and his body went lip and it's just like, his face had this look. And I was like, oh my God, this is terrifying. I think he was having a seizure or something. I don't think he just fainted. Fainting is when you just fall over. I fainted. Remember when I fainted. I fainted. I fainted on a step ladder in my house. And I fainted. And I fainted. I woke up, draped over it, like crumpled. I looked like a crumpled doll.

Yeah. Because I was taking blood pressure medication and I think it went too low. Mm-hmm. Who knew? I mean, it'll kill you if you don't take. It'll kill you if you do. All right. Yeah, everyone continues.

There are a lot of people who are like, yeah, it happens right here in our chat. They're like, it's something that that goes on. You know, I just thought it was funny that it was like this very serious scene. And they promote, they teased it last week. that he's it coming up. And I was like, oh, God, he's going to faint soon. Oh, my God, it's going to happen. It's going to happen.

I'm, like, sitting there. I'm, like, on the edge of my sea, because I know something terrible is going to happen. He faints. They wake him up. And then the music's back to like, boom. I was like, no, you do not give us casual music. This person had a medical emergency in front of her eyes.

You can't go back to, like, the fun, sassy, going to Zensations afterwards, music. Yeah, agreed. So what do you see in the news that you would like to discuss today, honey? What would I like to discuss? Well, can we discuss this spate of Bravo stars quitting special forces? I'm not watching this show. I think we talked about it recently.

I was like, I'm not drawn to this show. I know people watch it. I don't know anyone who does watch it, but I know people watch it. But to me, it sounds awful. And I'm like, I have this thing. I don't like reality shows where people have to be medevaced off. or quit constantly like my least favorite seasons of survivor are the ones where like seven people get injured because like i came you can't like dangle a personality in front of me and then have

them get like injured on episode three and be gone the rest of the time so i'm like wondering why is this show doing this to our bravo stars this is wild well especially when we know they can't handle it because we all watch the traders and whenever the bravo people get to the challenge parts they quit um most they just quit you know all those physical challenges on the traders they're like nope can't do it i'm not doing it can't do it won't do it how about that yeah and so they always lose those and so now there's a whole show dedicated to just watching them quit and stuff which is weird now that show does look like bloody hell i wouldn't go on in the first place i mean the paycheck must be good because i can't believe you can even get teresa judice onto that show even though she

had her whole like workout she works out a lot so she's in somewhat decent shape i think what would be harder for teresa is being having the truth yelled in your face a lot because that's one of those shows where it's like basic training so they're yelling things at you like you went to jail you god damn loser this isn't where we get to be criminals and run off okay this we're gonna pay your dues you think you were paying your dues by being in there sewing ponchos with It's like, eh, ah, not an astro. So, I mean, I imagine that's what I was like. I didn't watch it.

Yeah, I don't, I don't, it makes me uncomfortable. But apparently, Teresa, um, quit because they had some sort of challenge where they had to, like, beat each other up. Like, that's like, I guess you have to punch each other in the face for like a minute or something like that. And when it was Gia's time to, to enter the fray, Teresa's like, no, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to just sit here and watch my daughter like an, and. just not do anything which i actually think was admirable i'm like i think that was like a like i say like i salute you you're you're gonna just sit there and watch your daughter get punched in the face just for a paycheck on reality tv i know some people would say yes but like i

think i would just i mean i would have just like quit after five seconds of this entire show to be honest well you know people i read some comments on this when this story was happening and people were saying well you know as a mother that really is hard to watch your kid fight okay well well, if it's that hard, then take your kid home, too. Be like, you're getting in the car with me. I'm not watching somebody beat you up. Get the hell out of here. It's not worth the money.

But if you're going to let them stay and fight, then you need to stay and you need to, like, call the other person that she's fighting names. Like, that's what a good mother does. Like, you're never going to win this, fatty. You know, you need to get, like, my mom out there. It's like threatening to kill their mother who's right next to him. Like, really, you think your son's so tough? You want a piece of me, bitch?

You want a piece of me? That's how to be a good mom. You know, not just leaving her there. It's so weird because, you know, Gio probably needed to feel supported. I mean, she helped raise Teresa's kid when she got thrown in the clink. The least she could do is, like, stay there and root her on while she gets her ass kicked by somebody from celebrity rehab. I'm sure Gio was fine because she probably said, okay, we can do this fight, but let's do it at my mom's house. She's got a pool.

And they're like, we don't want to go all the way to New Jersey. Well, okay, but that's where I'm going to be. All right. So that's one person who quit. And then Eva Marcell was on there. And she quit because she almost drowned while they were swimming. And her partner, Jesse Smollett, good Lord, what is happening on this show? And why are we as Americans allowing this?

That's my question. I'm asking that about the actual real news and also this show. Why are we standing around watching shit like this happen in this country? Why are we putting Jesse Smollett on a TV show and then trying to drown him with him? Just drown Jesse. He's the one who deserves it. Leave Eva out of it. Yeah, I, I'm like, what?

See, this is why you don't sign up for these shows. Because basically they were put into like a submerged boat and they have 20 seconds to like swim to like a door. And then Jesse led them to the wrong door. And then they emerged. And then she basically like went unconscious. So they had to like, you know, medevac her out of there. Yes, correction. She did not quit.

Sorry, everybody. because we don't watch a show, I just am going off headlines. So she did not actually quit. Katie says she got a medical withdrawal. They kicked her off. So she didn't quit. So sorry, that was bad phrasing on my part. But a Bravo star didn't last.

I guess it just goes under the category of early departures by Bravo stars. I just think, I think it's like too much for a TV show. I mean, call me Krusty, but like, I don't know. Like, let's not put people in submerged. submerged boats and then ask them to swim out of it and be like, hey, or follow Jesse Smollett to safety. I don't know why that does not feel like a safe thing to do.

They're like, oh my God, your finger hurts. Trust me. If you want your finger to feel better, stick into the slight socket. Trust me. Trust. No. Why are you having me do that? I'm not doing this.

I'm quitting the military. That sounds really scary. Someone said that Eva actually went through the correct door, but I guess Jesse went through the wrong door. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but that sounds terrifying to be how many, like, it's too scary. Like, let's do the tight ropes or whatever in the bungee jumping, but like, do not put our celebrities underwater. Like, it's not going to work out well. This is not a place for celebrities to thrive. And the other person who, well, I shouldn't say quit because she didn't quit, but this person did quit. And that was Brittany on day one. Brittany was out of there in two seconds. And she was saying,

Wait a second. She was, hey, wait a second. Why can't? Where's the, where's the thousand dollars? What are you talking about? This is special sauces, right? No, it's special forces. Oh, I don't want to be here.

I'm out of here. It's hard. And she was saying, you know, when she got there, there were clips in her confessional or whatever of her saying, oh, yeah, my ex was telling me, You can't do this. You can't do this for two seconds. You're on last three by five, six.

And then she didn't. She didn't last more than five seconds. And I hate when Jackson is right about stuff. But they're just, you know, like look, you want people to believe in you, I guess, right? That's like a normal human emotion. You want people who know you to believe that you can do it. But I know my limits. And I have to say, everyone that knows me knows my limits.

And I'm not really surrounded by delusional people who would be like, you know what, Ronnie? You should do it. I think everyone I know would be like, Ronnie, you will die. Do you understand how many pushups you have to do? You're going to have people screaming at you in your face and calling you a weasel and everything else. They're going to be mean to you, Ronnie. You're going to poke them in the eyes, get arrested, and then quit crying, okay? They don't have ho-hos at training camp, Ronnie.

Like, someone just needs to be honest, you know. I don't need to prove to anyone that I'm tough. I'm not tough. I'm not tough. I'm not tough. Like, why do we have to be tough? I don't need to get a Ford F-150. Okay, I have my Kia, I drive her around, I go to Whole Foods.

I'm not tough and that's okay, okay? Because if we're all tough, then no one's tough. Sorry, everyone. No need to, like, I don't have a void in my life where I have to prove I'm tough. I literally am not tough. I am a soft, sweet man and I don't need to be yelled at on TV by some drill sergeant just to prove nothing to no one. Yeah, I agree with you.

I wouldn't do it. When the going gets tough, I get going home because I'm not going to stay here anymore because it's tough. I'm not going to do it. Hughie Lewis said it, I think, right? Who said it? No, I think that was Billy Ocean. It's Billy Ocean. When the going gets rough, runners in his car in his car in his car.

I'm not staying there for that. Huey Lewis said, I need a new drug. Well, that's one I really relate to, too. Why don't we have better drugs? One that won't make you sweat. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- Bethany-Ni-Ni-N-N-N-A-N-N-Brus. I need a new house. One that won't make me bored.

One that won't make me feel like I'm trapped in Connecticut. I need a new beach. I need to live down in Miami. So I could be like, ugh, Connecticut was awful. I hated it. I hated everything about Connecticut. Nothing against the state. States beautiful, but I was trapped. I was trapped.

It was my lifestyle. I was trapped. I'd just sit there. I'd go on Nietzsche walks. I hate my nature walks. Now I can go to a beach. I can walk in the beach because beach is different from Nietzsche. Okay?

See what I'm saying? If you want to not be trapped, go to Miami, okay? It was stifling. It was depressing. It was soul crushing. I almost died. I could have died, basically. Like, I can't.

I can't. I can't with Connecticut. Fuck Connecticut. I can't. The real place is Florida now. That's where everybody's at. Like all the cool people, they're in Florida. The Hamptons, it's over.

It's over. The Hamptons is over. Florida's where it's at. Wow, I'm so proud of Bethany for discovering little known secret hidden gem of America, Miami, Florida. That is such an amazing discovery by her. I'm proud of her, and I'm glad she finally ridded everyone and herself of the National Scourge that is Connecticut. When did she go to Connecticut anyway? I don't remember her.

I didn't even know. Well, I wanted to go there because of the nutmeg state. And I like, I like nutmeg. But then I realized I hate nutmeg. Who likes nutmeg? Who even puts a nutmeg into their margarita? I had to get out this awful state. They're terrible.

Take me to the margarita state. Now, every day, I jump in the ocean. I'm just in the ocean. I'm in the salt water. Okay? I walk in the sand. Okay? I feel sand in my feet.

That's what I feel. Oh, what is that? Sand. It's in my feet. Okay? I can't believe this is my life. Like, this is what connects me to the earth. Sand.

Okay? Some people love mountains. Some people love a lake. Some people love a desert. Some people love a cactus. Some people love an open field. Like love what you want. What am I going to do? I'm not going to tell you to love. I'm not going to tell you to love.

Love is love. I love. I love sand. That's it. You can marry another man? I can marry sand. That's it. I'm marrying sand. I have to say, I, this was eye-opening for me. I never thought that moving to a tropical paradise next to, like, turquoise seas and a lot of amazing restaurants and nightlife would actually be a great place to live. I mean, I was like, oh, how boring. Living in Miami, there's nothing. to do there. Just, you know, international art festivals, beautiful people, fancy cars. Fah! Who needs it? I want to take me back to the northeast where it's freezing cold in the winter, hot and humid in the summer, and nothing but mosquitoes and Lyme disease everywhere you go.

Yeah, Connecticut. I mean, Connecticut I've always thought was very pretty, but living in the city and not having a car or anything, whenever I did go to Connecticut, it was very rare, but it was usually with someone else to do a catering gig or something like that. And so just coming from, you know, the hovels that I lived in in the city, in the boroughs was my impression of Connecticut was like, oh my God, it's so beautiful. There's trees, you know, like I saw green in the sky. Connecticut's like beautiful. And I thought it was beautiful. I always thought Connecticut was very beautiful. So I don't get the Connecticut slander. I mean, geez. I grew up on the Connecticut

border. So I spent a lot of time and I continue to spend lots of time in Connecticut. Dom is from Connecticut. I am married to a Connecticut person. I'm not really married. I just sort of theoretically live married. But like the truth is that you are common law. Look at them disappearing right in front of your eyes. Yes. Look at you. Wow. But like it to me it's just so funny. Connecticut is a beautiful place. But fine. You don't like it. Fine. And I and you know, like Connecticut's beautiful. But the Northeast is a little tough to live in. But Bethany like making this proclamation like she's figured it out. She's figured it out how to live life better. It's like, yeah, you went down to the beach.

Like, this is news. This is news that the beach is better than, like, I don't know where she was, New Canaan. I don't know. She's that kind of person who moves, she makes a decision and then she has to shit all over the place she was just at. You know, she can't just move and be like, I was ready for a change. It has to be like, Connecticut is terrible. It's disgusting. Like, Ramona, you know, what is happening to New York City?

It's disgusting now. There's so many people on the street asking you for money, asking for, like, she had a big rant a while back. Like, if you want to go to Florida, just go. You don't have to talk everybody into it. Like, everywhere else doesn't suck just because you decided to make a change. Just go. Just go. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. I don't know. I saw something very briefly yesterday that said that. that Gen Z is like something that's like viral that's happening is that Gen Z is pushing the limits of when ice cream season can be. It's like I guess Gen Zers eating like taking pictures of themselves eating an ice cream cone in October. And like look, ice cream's great even when it's cool out. Like you fucking idiots, ice cream.

Everyone knows ice cream is great year round. That's why it's stocked year round and we all keep on buying it. Like this is me, this is like Bethany's ice cream is great even when it's cool out moment. It's like, of course your quality of life down at by the beach is better. Of course, ice cream is still great in October. It's delicious. I'm sorry. I'm still, I'm so mad about that, that trend.

I'm so mad. Um, of eating ice cream. No, I'm mad. I know. You clearly were not listening. I was, I was looking up a link. There's no way that you'd have had that relaxed reaction. There's no way.

What I just said is so triggering. And you should have been furious. I know. Well, once I heard that I should have been furious about it, I was like, oh, no,

what did I miss? What you missed was Jen Zier's. Jen Zier's. They are like a viral thing is them taking pictures of themselves eating ice cream in October and saying like, wow,

ice cream is like good, even in cool temperatures. Like even in cool weather, it's still good. Like they're challenging the idea that ice cream season only. to be in the summer we've all everyone knows that everyone knows yeah you feel like you invented something new by liking ice cream when it's fucking cold outside come on how do you think ice cream

stores stay open year around because people need comfort you know you get it when it's cold outside you eat it when it's warm inside what's hard to believe around here about that if you if like let me tell you something i am like the post office when it comes to ice cream i don't rain or shine snow storm hurricane i am going to jenny's and i'm going to get myself darkest chocolate does not matter what time of the year what the weather is two things you can rely on with me or me going to get some ice cream and i don't even honestly there's no other thing that's as reliable as that that's it it's just one i'll eat ice cream anytime i'll be eating ice cream when i'm dead in the grave they'll be like with that is the first corpse we've ever seen binging on ice cream it's going to be me okay i will eat that

shit, I don't care. But congratulations, Zuma's. You figured it out. All right, we need to get to the biggest story of the week, which is this fallout between Sheena and Lala. It's bad, you guys. It's like really bad. So much thirstiness because Lala is now shooting the Valley. The rumors are that Sheena was not asked to shoot the Valley, that they chose Lala over Sheena. Then there were rumors that they did offer it to Sheena, but they offered her a friend of and didn't want to give her any money. So she decided not to do it. it. And of course, Sheena's coming out and saying, no, it's totally my choice because, like, it's my choice to be, like, bigger and, like, do something else. You know what I mean? And, of course, it's paragraphs and paragraphs as Sheena blather. How else do I say it? But apparently, if she got in a fight with Lala, it's hard to get through either one of their diatribes about it because it's Sheena and Lala, you know? And I don't keep up with either one of them outside of their shows. So it's kind of hard to follow from what I'm getting. It's, it's, it's, seemed like it started when Sheena was officially hired for the Valley, but it really happened because apparently Lala told, Sheena told Lala about Brock's affair in confidence, and then Lala told Brittany or somebody, or Brittany or Zach, who ended up spreading it around. And they never even got back to Sheena that people knew. But when Sheena found out much later that Lala had done it, she felt super betrayed by Lala. And that's not women supporting women. And so Then they got in a big fight.

And so it's like really, it's like really deep to you guys. It's like a big deal. Please listen to both of their podcast nonstop to find out what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy to know that they're with them. Well, here, I'll reduce your quotes.

I'm taking it that you don't need. You were like, why are we not talking about ice cream anymore? No, it's because. I went going and you ruined it with Sina and Lala. No, I read these articles earlier and I just was like I was literally I was like this is

Sheena creating her own news cycle or trying to I was like no one cares about if you and Lala are not on good terms someone is always bound to be on bad terms with Lala at some point and you're bound to be falling out with someone at some point so to me this is just I don't know what to believe she even says she says in her book

that they manufactured a fight at that engagement party in order to distract away from something another. I think it was like the engagement. And then now she's saying how she and Lala, even though she was really mad at Lala, she pretended like she wasn't mad at Lala to keep up public appearances. So honestly, she's sort of confessed now twice that like what you see isn't always what you get with Shina. Shocker.

And so like I never know what she's doing really just to drum up attention for her book and what she's doing just to be Sheena. So it's hard. And all of the, in all of the things that I've read, the clips from her podcast, the clips from other podcasts that she's gone on to talk about it. Because, you know, Sheena. So she's booked herself everywhere. She's talking about it everywhere.

Everywhere, she's like, well, you know, I'm like, now is an author? I'm like, is it about my book? Is it, it's not about your book? Can we stop acting like you're the new Sydney Sheldon? Just stop. Yeah. Like, it was another Bravo book that came out and was gone within one week news cycle, okay? Where you made an ass out of yourself and admitted to fake.

storylines and all of this other crap i just it's just hilarious in every single thing's like oh my god well that's an author i can say this no no sheena like you just voiced voice to texted some shit out to a PR person like stop it so sheena hinted that she was upset at several friends including la la after they didn't post anything publicly showing their support of her memoir my good side oh my god here's what sheena doesn't understand Sheena does all these things like like someone if Katie were to drop a single you know ounce of anything entertaining she would like you know she would be like go support my girl Katie and then like if Brittany does something like support my girl Britney she's on special sauces or anything but when it comes to her they don't they're not going to support you and like that's why it's frustrating with you know it's like she'll always say well I'm a people pleaser which is very self-serving and we always I like to always bring up the the the the the the the the drama triangle, the Kauffman drama triangle, and like she is like the martyr in that one. And she will, she will do all, support all her friends knowing that they're not going to support

her back. And then the moment that they don't support her back, she can be like, no one supported me. And she can sort of use that as ammo. And I'm just like, you just have to move on from these toxic people. You're not on the same show with them anymore. You're not going to be a cast member of season three of the valley. And you have a child at home and a husband. And you guys should just like work on how.

having a peaceful, lovely family at this point. Well, that's weird that she didn't post about her book, though, isn't it? I mean, if they're like best friends, they move into the same neighborhood, and they're raising their kids together. Well, but Lala's transactional. Lala's totally transactional. It does seem weird that she wouldn't, but, I mean, why wouldn't you just call her and be like, hey, would you post about my book on your Instagram?

I mean, we have friends who do it all the time. They're like, we have a thing coming out where you post about it, you know? Oh, and by the way, to that end, our friend Cita, remember, I mentioned that she has crystals that you guys. guys should all, if you're a crystal person, you should check out her Instagram. She sent us crystals, Ronnie. Oh, I can't wait. Do you want me to open up the box? I have the box right here. I'll go get the box.

Okay. So I'll keep really... That's very convincing. No, no, I'm just trying to get through this Lala story. Well, no, now I want to see the damn crystal. I'm excited for it. Well, you continue on. So, apparently, she told, so she told this gossip, Lala. She told Britney, which Sheena's like totally fine with okay because like brittany doesn't have bad attentions i wanted to tell her myself but like i didn't

have a chance to and then the one she can't get over is la la telling her mutual friend dun dun you guys wait for it this is a shocker jana my friend jena who i've not been on good terms with since last season what jena is really just clawing her way into this show she's clawing her way she's going to be on the show could you just imagine being in a friend group where there's so much like being on bad terms with people at all times. Like, I just, I feel like with my friend group, it's just not like that. I mean, maybe when you're in your 20s, it's like that. But I feel like you sort of, at a certain age, you just have your friends.

And like, to have this revolving door of like, oh, well, now we're not talking to each other. Oh, now we are. Now we're on good terms, but now we're not talking. I just think it's crazy. I guess that's just part of like being in L.A. and being like a reality star, right? And being a Bravo person, you're just used to it. And their story, you know, they are still storylines because like Lala's on.

the show. Sheena's probably going to, you know, friend of or whatever. Who knows? So she continues. I mean, Lala just told Jenna to humanize me because Jenna was going so hard on me that she wanted to tell her about what I was actually going through. Now, I understand it's not malicious. I mean, that's malicious. If you're, if you're talking to somebody who hate, you're talking to somebody who hates Sheena and you're like, oh my God, be nice to Sheena, her husband's cheating on her. That's not nice. You're giving that girl all this ammo, you know, so it was very heartbreaking for Sheena, you guys. And then, you know, she has all these feelings and blah, blah, blah.

We'll have to read her next book to know. But she was very offended that everybody's spreading all these rumors about her trying to get on the valley. So she went, she had Alex Baskin, the producer, on her show. And she just went crazy. She's like, okay, is everybody saying that I'm trying to get on the valley? Could you please have I ever, have I tried to get on the valley? Have you begged me to be on the valley? He's like, well, we have been in discussions for a long time about how we could fit you.

into the valley. She's like, see? I told you. They're basically begging me to be on the valley. So there's that. Okay. And then people are saying,

I'm trying to get on Orange County. Like, have I ever asked to be on Orange County? And he's like, no. Yeah, it's because I was a provocontist. Someone said, you should be on Orange County. And then Tamara was like, yeah, you should be on Orange County.

And then Brock said something like, well, I don't even think he said this, but maybe he says something. Like, that's Sheena's dream or something. And then it just like spirals. So like, I don't even care. Because, you know, like, it really hit me, like page to sorba left summer house and you know someone asked me a question like was that a

mistake and i said yeah it's a mistake but then i changed my answer and i was like no it's not a mistake because i like really respect her because like she's decided to do something different it's like she could have just done summer house but now look at her she's like she's like doing duncan ads so like i'm really into it so like i'm basically like page to sorbara now and i'm like making a new thing for my sheena you are not going to you can spend as many paragraphs as you want you are not going to convince me that your ass is not trying to get on Orange County and or the Valley or you're not just giving a reality TV to do something to you're not going to be coming out with a 10 book series and you know what that's okay she shoo I love you for

who you are just stay who you are stay thirsty and get yourself on that show backstab whoever you have to get then go get your go get your show girl well also like just her trying to kind of like sort of quietly like hit her hit her ride to pages horse you know like yeah you're like with all do as Andy would say and you know I do love me some Shishu because this is so classic Sheena I love this about Sheena like I love Sheena but you are not page de Sorbo I'm sorry you're not like you guys are very different very different lanes she's or be I have a question is there I was looking on Instagram like a week I was like driving in the car or something and I looked down and it's there was like an image of like Lala and Tom Schwartz together and it was like soft launch. And I was like, is this a soft launch? Are they dating? And is she teasing it? And so I just looked it up right now because I was like, oh, we should maybe talk about that.

And on entertainment now, earlier today, like five hours ago, Lala Kent gives Tom Schwartz's relationship and update amid soft launch drama. So of course, there's drama because she started it. And it looks like there's a screenshot and looks like she's on like doing a video and there's a caption that says, Who are you still close with from VPRCast? Oh, you're really putting me in a tough position here and all the self-reflecting we've been doing? I know that there are like times when they go like, hi, I'm the problem.

It's definitely me. But Schwartz and she and I will be fine. We'll be good as gold, as she would say. But she seems to be like teasing this like Schwartz situation. Do we think that, that Lala and Schwartz are a thing? No, not for one second. They faking it. She needs something to do on that show, and so does he.

But I think it's fake. I think she's just trolling people because there were rumors like, oh, my God, they're probably dating. And so she was fanning the flames of the rumor by like doing a joke soft launch or whatever. I can't. Do you want to see your crystal? Yes, I want to see my crystal. Let's end this with crystal viewing. Okay, I'm opening up the box.

Okay. So first of all, shout out to art house crystals. our friend CETA. This is her company. She sells crystals on, basically on the web or on Instagram. Okay.

Taking out the paper. All right. I don't know if one does, is designated to us or not. Ooh, there's a bunch. Damn. There's like three for me and three for you.

So there's five for me and one for you? That's so nice. Honestly. I'll open up one of yours. I'll let the other two be a surprise. Oh, there's, Yes, she specified which ones go to who?

Yeah. Oh, you know what? This one's for Dom. Sorry. Oh, so I get two and you get three and Dom gets one? Oh, no, no, no. The three of us each get two. Okay, so Dom gets none and we get three.

Okay, let me see. Okay. Ooh, this one's real heavy. Crystals I haven't even seen. Okay. This one's really heavy. Okay, okay. Well, I'm putting the box down.

Make this easier. That's one I'll use on intruders. Yeah. It's really heavy. This might. be, I mean, watch me break it on the internet. That'd be so bad. Okay, I'm going to open it up. This is, this is captivating. Okay, I'm cutting the bubble wrap. Get to it. I'm trying. She does a really good job with packaging. This is a really good endorsement of CETA's

packaging skills. By the way, our CETA's Instagram is Art House Crystals. So go to Art House Crystals to check out her stuff. Oh, damn. Honey, this is so nice. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, It looks magical. Wow. Oh my God. To my heart. That's beautiful. It feels like this is.

Oh my God. It feels like it's magic. It feels like it's going to glow and I can like look into it and see the future. I see the future. And in the future, China and like Lala are like totally fine. Now we're basically like sisters. Oh my God. Thank you, Crystal.

Thank you, Cita. And thank you everybody for being here for crappy hour. We're here every other Monday at 530. Pacific time. We're going to skip over to the portion where we talk to you guys on video chat. I'm going to put a link up right now. For everybody on audio, thank you so much for being with us. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.

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