Watch What Crappens - #3027 Below Deck Med S10E02 Part 1: I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jellyfish

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

This is part 1 of 2The geniuses on Below Deck Mediterranean have somehow managed to get through a second episode without sinking the boat.  First Max pets a jellyfish, and then Christian struggles with the delicate art of unclipping a boat. Fun times in Spain.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crapins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me this morning is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello. How are you, Benoons? I'm just great. It's below deck med day. Thanks to everyone who joined us on Crappy Hour last night.

We had a real fun time talking about headlines, et cetera. I'm still having visions of pizza dough flying in my eyes because, you know, after we, after we end the audio. portion. We bring some of you guys up and one person was making fresh pizza dough. Well, actually storebought, but they were making it on the screen and I have been tantalized ever since. So thank you everyone for coming. I've been, I really have been. I was like telling people last night when I was having, I met up with some friends last night. I was like someone was making pizza dough and it's all I can think about. Um, we had too much fun though. And, uh, be sure to join us on Patreon. Uh, Patreon. Patreon.com slash watch what crapans.

where we have a weekly bonus episode. We have Crappins on Demand where you can watch all of our podcast episodes. You can watch it, not just listen. And those are available for a week on there before they go to YouTube. And it's just like a fun thing. We have quips now. We're making little quips and there's a good community on there. So to get the full Crapins experience, go check that out.

But today, we're going to get the full yacht experience because we're going to the med with Captain Sandy and a group of green deck hands. trying to figure things out. Ronnie, what did you think about the episode? You know, the show gets dangerous. I mean, I get hiring Minkum Poop's incompetence for entertainment value, but I mean, this shit has to run, right? I get worried.

I know. Like, none of us. I mean, at least someone on the deck needs to know what's going on. Like, yikes. For real. For real. But I like it because we'll get a lot more of the homely normal people, you know. I shouldn't say homely.

It's not like they're ugly, but like, homey, you know, homie. home just kind of normal people like bowling alley people you know we maybe we'll see them come out a little bit more like i want to know who the homely people are fucking that's what i want to know there's a show there's a show homely homely maids fucking i just i just loved that like the bulk of the episode really focused on people being bad at their jobs not doing their jobs being even worse at their jobs like that's really all i want that's all i want and it was just it's such a is. Yeah, it's just a nice refreshing return. I said it last week. I'm just going to reemphasize

this week after Below Deck, the last season for me was so rough with like really attempting to be like the real world. I'm just happy that like we just had aneptitude, just professional ineptitude, which is really, that's what I'm looking for. People sucking at jobs. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's the American dream amongst many non-Americans on a boat. So where we left off was a tremendous bit of slapstick, which is Captain Sandy and Nathan trying to lower a jet ski or maybe a whip. Or is the whip the tender? Whatever it is, a jet ski, they're trying to lower the jet ski onto the boat and they can't and they knock over this one lamp, not once but twice. And like we said last week, it was so gratifying and I loved seeing it happening all over again at the top of this episode.

someone brought up on crappy hour last night how inept captain sandy was trying to help them with this wave runner and it really is true i mean she's just standing there holding a string like all right you know what go ahead and uh bring it back bring it back okay you know what do it she wasn't doing anything it's like a kid just standing there holding a balloon while all mayhem is going off around her she's like all right you know what nathan you're not doing it right just kind of bring it back a little bit did have we talked about how captain is kind of doing what do you call it when you stick your hand up the at the doll and then you speak for the doll what do you call that ventriloquism have we ever talked about how she's kind of doing ventriloquism when she talks it's kind of a little jody coded huh she's kind of jaw wired shut i don't really know what it is she's always been like that i've always noticed it but this one this episode i was really noticing it and i don't know if it's more because she's gritting her teeth and trying to be positive at the start of the season, you know, because I think by the end of the season, especially watching a season for these,

these cast members, they're so tormented by people online. Like, you are incompetent. How dare you? It's like years later and people are still like, you screwed over Hannah, you bitch. You know, and so I think they come on to the new seasons and they really, that's us, yeah. Who would say those things? Who would still hold a grudge against, I don't know, Malia? you know how people are you know people on the internet are those people crazy people that can't control

their emotions you know how they are uh parasocial relationships etc wouldn't know anything about it but yeah like 10,000 of us screaming at them and so they come on to these seasons and they try and start positive and you can see that captain sandy is really really just doing her best to be positive and she's just starting to grit her teeth and I think more of her like lines are just coming out like this now because she's just ready to throw people overboard, but she doesn't want to be called a bitch online. So good luck. That's probably true.

That's probably true. Anyway, the wave runner, they break the light. And everyone's watching, by the way. I thought that was like editing that they did last episode where like, she's like, but it turns out they all were watching. And she's like, oh, that's your evening's entertainment. they get it down just sitting on the side like look at them go i mean is it this hilarious watch that you should watch them try to get the ropes to the day that's coming up next

bunch of morons just sitting there cracking up so so nathan's like oh first day first time on the crane i'm up here smashing nav lights soon as we drop anchor man everything's going tits up, fuck me and fuck those tits too. I certainly will try to later this season. Well, I hope you don't mind. I'm just going to stand here and hold this string lightly and watch you fail miserably. So goodbye, like, goodbye like. So now it's time for the first course and, you know, we see a piece of paper that Josh, the chef has pasted up or taped up in the kitchen and he listen people who write themselves crazy little notes on postits are insane every insane person in their house has these little notes you know people who are like and i've done it before

and i am insane people who have those little postits and then they're like you're good enough or like you don't need to eat you need to move you know like little positive things you put around your house or i used to have one on the fridge that said don't that's all it said and And then I was that like your refrigerator was like having like was like crying and like you were coming in for a hug. And I was like, don't. Don't. Because you know, we have these different parts of our brains. And so when I'm hungry, I wanted the like rational part of my brain to tell the irrational part of my brain later on in the day, don't, you know.

So I would come to the refrigerator and I'd see this post to snow and posted note and it would say don't. And I just say fuck off. One time I actually wrote a Post-it note. Ronnie, did you think that your note would actually tell yourself? Like, you would actually listen to your note. Before you even got that part, I'd be like, I bet you walked up to that note and said, oh, fuck you, you don't get to tell me what to do.

I did. I wrote a dick on it eventually. I just drew a big dick on it, you know. But then I looked at it again, and it was like, don't dick. And I was like, well, I don't know that I really need to be giving myself that. I don't know that I'm getting enough of that as it is, you know? But yeah, crazy people write themselves notes and put them around. And Josh does it.

And his say, breathe. And then he has two that say the same thing. Non-attachment. Non-attachment point. Nothing really like complements the directive to just breathe. Then like literally yelling at yourself through a note by yelling, non-attachment, exclamation point. Non-attachment, non-attachment. Breathe.

Detach yourself from this experience. That's how traumatic it is being a chef. You're just like, just disassociate, disassociate, put yourself in a box, you're just in a box, nothing is happening. You know, it's like abuse language you have to use with yourself because, you know, that is what it is. You're putting yourself into an abusive situation. Non-attachment, it's not happening. I'm just a little boy. I'm just a little boy.

I'm just a little boy. Poor guy. Well, he also has another note that says, you are just cooking. just cook um which is uh you know hopefully that that helps yeah i feel like yeah you're just cooking so just so just cook um yeah but like i would like to say is you're just cooking so just cook well and on time because i feel like you can't it's not just about cooking it's about like making something that's edible and you know because we've seen a bunch of people just cook and it hasn't worked out well and also i just like the positive message is i don't think help i mean

maybe different people, people work differently, you know, but I think messages need to be like, you're a fuck up and nobody likes you. Don't fuck this up. You know, something like that. Or like, don't suck as much as you did yesterday. Loser. Yeah, I feel like, mm-hmm. Or I just feel like I'd leave, you know what my note would be, remember three teaspoons and a tablespoon. Is that true? Three teaspoons and a tablespoon. Yeah. I thought it was two.

I just learned something. No, you've been selling yourself short. Three teaspoons in a tablespoon, Ben. And then I'd have the next one say, four tablespoons in a quarter cup, Ben. And then actually, those are the things I remember. But what I always forget is it's like, here's, and I hate this, by the way.

I hate this. Okay, two cups in a pint, two pints in a quart, four quarts in a gallon. Wait, why? Four quarts. Yeah, four quarts in a gallon, right? or two quarts and a half gallon. I know that there's what I don't like.

Why are we going up by twos? Why are there's something to me? But like why are we all of a sudden going to four? I know it says court so it's like a clue, but don't do that to me. Like it's either we all, like why are we starting at three and then going to two and then two again and then to four?

This is totally unhelpful. You're right. It is unhelpful. You know what else is unhelpful? That America decided that we needed to change. the metric system for everything because trying to read recipes and then it's like okay 32 grams i'm like what the fuck man i don't even know how many teaspoons or in a tablespoon now you're going to throw grams at me come do you have a scale do you have a kitchen scale no i hate scales of all kinds

you should get a kitchen scale it's actually a game changer it's like i only had one when i used to do coke then i got rid of it no the reason why it's a game change attachment to my addiction I had to write little post-it. It's like, non-attachment, non-attachment. Don't. Don't. The Coke scale. Breathe through your mouth, not your nose.

You know, a food scale is a game changer. And the reason why it's because all those recipes that call for grams, it's like no longer an issue. And the best thing is you don't need to have measuring spoons or whatever. You just put your thing on it and then you just take a regular spoon and you like measure stuff out. You like add stuff until it reaches the number. It's like, so you actually wind up doing fewer dishes with a kitchen scale.

Fun fact. But don't you have to rush the scale off with the, with all the stuff that you're putting on it? You don't have to wash it between things that you're putting on there. You're not putting it directly on the scale in my case. I usually put like a bowl or like whatever you're using. Like actually a cool technique, a cool technique to do is if you're like, if you're making something and everything has to go into bowl, you put your bowl next to the scale and you take the thing that you're adding and you put that on the scale.

and you tear it like T-A-R-E so it goes to zero and then you remove stuff from the container from the container Alfredo and you add it to your bowl and as you add it to the bowl the value on the scale goes negative. So if you need to add like 32 grams into your bowl, you wait until it hits negative 32 because that means you taken 32 grams

out of your supply, put it in the bowl and this way you don't have to worry about making your scale dirty and it's And also, if you, like, have taken out too much, you can, like, before you put it in the bowl, you can, like, put it back into the supply. And by doing this, you don't need tablespoons, you don't need teaspoons, you don't need measuring cups, don't need money, don't need fame, don't need no credit card to play this game. It's called a kitchen scale. To ride this train, I think, actually. Well, that's the game.

You know what? I've just, ah, well, I think we all know what my next note is, Ben, ride this train. not play this game. Ben, Huey Lewis in the news. Compassion, compassion. This is the news. You know, we always wondered what Huey Lewis's news is. The news is a kitchen scale. He's like, hey, everyone, I've got the news for you. It's, use a kitchen scale. This is the second time,

Hewley Lewis has come into our recaps, by the way, this week. Huey Lewis is really living on. I think we have to work them in every single day. Please. He's really getting the park overall treatment today. So these other notes say compassion. And then the final note says, push yourself. Push yourself. Push yourself.

Do you think he's saying, S-E-L-F, push yourself. Is he, do you think he's saying push y'-S-E-S-E-Self? Is he doing it in the style of, what's that one song that's like in like every car commercial? It's like sort of motowny. It's like, do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I'll go back to Huey Lewis in the news. I'm sorry. Push yourself.

I think it's like... Or is you doing it like in a Motown sound or is you doing it in the style of like, oh, go ahead and push yourself. I think I'm taking it as like, treat yourself. You know, people are like, you need to treat yourself. But I don't know. He's pushing yourself.

Here's what I think you should write down. Stop putting on clown clothes and thinking it's cute. Please stop it. It's making me cringe so hard. And they keep showing it. And it's not, it just, I feel like my wiener is going so far in my body that it's like just a tube. It's like an inner, it's like an any belly button is what my penis feels like every time he comes out as a clown. It's awful.

It's so awful. But I'm not going to lie. I laughed out loud because the thing is they spring it on us when we at least expect it. like something is happening like he's making avocado toast and then all of a sudden he just is in it and he goes magic or whatever and i was like what i can't take it i can't like and he has flat ironed hair it's like a flat ironed haired clown it doesn't work for me it's like watching johnny resnick and clown costume yeah so da vinci who's the main bitcoin guy i mean he wears bitcoin socks he's got a bitcoin fanny pack probably he's got a bitcoin purse at the table and so they want to

see what's in his purse and he has like normal stuff I guess like Bitcoin slogans and stuff and he has a tampon and he also has gold so yeah well the girl the girl who's they're like they're looking to his little purse and then the guy's like

oh there's something in here there's something in here and then this girl next to him goes is it a tampon as like a joke and then it's like a tampon and then she's so proud of herself she's like I literally can't even believe how raw I was it was a tampon Oh, my God, I actually got it right.

It's like, quiet, Jessica. You could see in it. We know you cheated. So now it's time to run the plates, but are they too cold? He doesn't know, Josh. He feels so much pressure. Every element has to be perfect. Non-attance written.

Non-attentionary win. And he's like, he's trying to tell everyone to hurry up because the plates are getting cold. And he's like, I'm sorry, like, I'm starting to feel like Black Sabbath. And it's like, I'm getting paranoid. Like, this is a Bravo audience. We, I don't know if like all of us get, get the reference. Is that the song by Ozzy Osmore that goes, dun dun it, done it, done it.

Durn it. Okay, I really, again, Cuey Lewis really is my lane today. I'm trying to think my brain, my brain, I just did this. I don't know any Ozzy Osbourne songs. He has like, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-crazy train. That one?

You know that one? No. Well, I can't help you any further. I'm sorry. I'm not very helpful. I'm not yes-amming you because I literally can't. I don't know anything. This is the only lyric I know.

Damn it. Dan it, Dan it, Dan it. That's the song. I don't know if that's actually paranoid. So, okay. I know paranoid, that would have been a better reference. That would have been a better reference.

If he said, I'm feeling paranoid like Shirley Manson, I would have been like, thank you. That one I can give you. I think I'm paranoid. Yeah, I, no. I'm sorry, listeners. My funny Valentine. Okay, just a, just a refresher for a cleanser for everybody.

Cal cleanser. Yeah, pallet cleanser. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So, V did not hold her plate properly, and it got messed up. Terrible. So then we go to the first course. They get Spanish prawns, which thankfully Spanish prawns.

Any other kind? Passion fruit, caviar, and orange vinaigret. I mean, how embarrassing is it. they got non-Spanish pronds while they're docked in Spain. I mean, hello. Peruvian prongs? Get the hell out of here. Of course they can prongs.

Christian and Max are talking about his shitty their day was. And they're talking about the C-Babs. Are they inside? And Christian's like, well, when you put him in, you need to charge him, you know? He's like, I charge him. I charge him already. He's like, okay. Well, how many do we have two?

Yeah, bullshit. How the fuck don't you know that, bro? How you don't know we have two? How you don't know we have two? Max is on such a power trip. He's acting like he is the best deckhand. And he's definitely improved. But he's acting like he was not a total waste of space and a disaster two seasons ago.

I mean, like, he was awful. And he was so terrible. And now he has like no patience for this guy who admittedly is terrible as well. But like he has no patience for this guy when he, in fact, was the bane of the entire ship's existence. two years ago, let alone the entire audiences. Yeah, I don't even know that there's proof that he's improved. He's just acting like, he's just leading with, you know, like, I'm great. And so people buy that sometimes, you know, like the loudest person always wins kind of thing.

It's like, you know, like, if you're like a shitty second grader, you're still going to be shitty, but now you're in third grade. But he's acting now that he's made it to third grade that he's like, he's like on a power trip to the second grader. And it's like, you may be on a, you may be on a power trip because, like, technically your rank in grades is slightly higher, but you're still shitty. And also it's not bad at the second grader. It's not so regular that people get a second season, right? Like, you have to be kind of special to get a second season. So I think maybe he thinks he's special.

Yeah, maybe. So he's like power tripping to a first year. So Aisha is, is observing the guests as they sit around at this dinner with, like, weird like purple mylar on the walls and stuff and she's like it's such an old combination of people like calls just chiller da vinci's like super eccentric it's pretty quirky and then there's this hot couple where do they come from maybe that's the message of bitcoin bitcoin brings people together Oh, you know, I mean, I guess. It does.

I mean, Bitcoin people love Bitcoin people. They like love each other. They're, like, really into each other. Bitcoin people are like, yeah, it's the future. The banks will never get me. So then Aisha is asking about food. They all love the food. Okay, let's go to the bridge with Nathan and Sandy.

She's like, yeah, you know what? I just wanted to say that, uh, you know, You know, you got to get it down quicker, you know, because it was just, it was just really going slow, you know. And when it's swinging, that's when you go fast. Get it, get it low. Get it low. If it's swinging, just crash it down into the deck, okay? I just basically want you after, I want you to be, I want that ski vibe, that wave runner.

I want it to look like Hannah after one of her special cigarettes, just face down immediately. You know, a wise man once said that when the wind is swinging, the road. Oops. You got to get low. From the windows to the wall to the sweat runs down your jet ski. Get low, get low, get low, get low, get low, get low, get low. Okay? Good job. Let's have a hug. When the going gets tough, the tough get going and going and going. And yeah. Listen, I, as a fan of Christina Millian, I have to say, dip it low, Nathan. Next time, dip it low. So, she's like, you know, you've only been on the boat 12 hours. So I'm not going to worry about it because I'm nice. I'm a nice captain.

The internet loves me. So let's just keep up going, okay? Nathan had passed 42 hours before the charter began. And as a new boasting, he doesn't know the boat, he doesn't know the crew, and that's a setback. But I'm going to support Ethan. And he'll become excellent at his craft, his craft of deck leading. His craft at lowering a jet ski a little too slowly when it's windy. And Tessa

She'll excel at her craft of being sort of nowhere. You know what? Have I actually met Tessa yet? I have? Oh, okay. Tessa. Tessa is my favorite character so far. Same. I think this one she really blossomed.

I love her. And I love that she's always, she looks like a character in like a Hans Christian Anderson novel. I feel like she should be in like an old-timey dress with a rolling pin in her hand. just telling the kids to slow down because she's based in the turkey, you know, as the kids ride through the house.

I feel like she should be the, like the lady who presses the buttons to make it's a small world go and then waves of people when they come back at the end of the ride. Yeah, I could see that. Like when they described her later in the episode as like, she does nothing but is just judgey. She just stands around as judgy. I was like, perfect.

Love her. Me too. Because she's not, she's not silent in her confessional. She's like, they're all idiots. So she assures Nathan that they're going to figure this out together. And so he's like, oh, right, right. So he leaves.

He looks terrified, as he should be. So then we, let's see, Kizzy is telling V that the rooms are messy. So, like, she can't just leave caddies in the hallway. So let's get it together. Okay, let's keep organized. Let's keep organized. And V's like, yeah, I haven't had a lot of high-end service experience. but my work ethic speaks volumes.

Pick the windex up off the floor. That is your work ethic. You're leaving shit on the ground. Go get it. Yeah. And as she's talking about her work ethic, we see that she somehow broke the bed. There's like a panel,

like a wainscotted panel that she broke. And now she's trying to reassemble it. We never really see how they do this. And like, did they have to call one of the like off-camera engineers? But I was actually, I was kind of in bed. invested in this. I was like, you broke a panel on the bed. Like, it's clearly not going back in

easily. You only have so much time before the guests are done with dinner and want to come downstairs. What do you do? How much time do you have? Like, how does this get fixed? I was like, I was kind of, I was into it. You were stressing. I was stressing. I liked it because she's, they're like, they're like cutting together incompetence. It's one of those things for like, oh, she left her catty on the ground. Uh oh, she broke a bed or whatever. They're putting this all together, but the voiceover is like, yeah, my work ethic definitely comes from my parents being models, you know, because they're from Cuba, and we grew up really. They weren't really models. They were just model work ethic people, by the way. So they both. They were attractive, though. Yeah, they were. They were attractive. Like, their work ethic was always in bikinis. I'll tell you that. Like, they had hot work ethic. They had like model quality work, I think. But they both grew up really poor. And my dad, when he grew up, Like when I was growing up, he couldn't pay the electricity bill sometimes, and they couldn't pay the water bill. But he worked his ass off.

And now he's the CEO of his own engineering firm. Unfortunately, he doesn't pay the electricity there either. So they do a lot of engineering in the dark, which has led to buildings falling. But you know what? They try. They have really good work ethics. I love the irony of her dad owning a engineering firm, and yet she can't figure out how to put the panel back on a bed. If only we had an engineer.

That's why I love the editing. It's so funny. She's like giving this full-on monologue while, you know, she's like leading hell breaking loose down there. So the guests are still receiving food and all they want to do is jet ski. And one guy, Carl, says, jet skis make me feel alive. Just skis make me feel alive. Oh, I feel alive with jet skis, almost as alive as I feel with. coin.

I don't even need to drink anymore. I've got jettis. I've just drank your jeskees. And then, yeah, he talks about how, like, being on a jet ski makes him feel alive, especially when he pushes it so hard. He feels like if he falls off, he's going to die in the water. And then Josh is like, and now here is your course of fresh frugola, fregola and tomatoes and oregano cooked down.

So it becomes almost like a risotto with chicken and pine nuts. It's like, yeah, perfect for someone who loves jet skiing so hard, he's going to die. Free shoulder this, Jetsky, be itch! What was that? Fresh tomatoes and oregano cooked down, so it becomes almost like a risotto. Fuck yeah, risotto to the extreme. So Aisha is telling V that she has to do laundry in the morning.

Don't forget. And then we cut to Nathan, and he's just sitting at the back of the boat, staring into the water, you know, memories of. of jet skis crashing into lights, et cetera. Doesn't he fart? Or is that just what I projected onto him?

I thought I heard him go, I thought there was a fart, but I never know on this show, you know? I feel like they're like fart lighting me. I think if you have that haircut, you're gonna, you're also the kind that like sits by the edge of boat and farts. Yeah. You mentioned the boat farder with monk hair.

So Captain Sandy is very impressed with Josh. she goes to tell him he juggles an orange right into her face and isha is back up uh they love the main chorus blah blah blah it's jeremy sue guys it's jeremy sue who's gonna be difficult about it i'm gonna guess it's the guy with the purse okay and it is it's davinci he's like um i can't stand jeremy so so figure something out you literally your name is davinci you should love all the Italian desserts. No kidding. What the hell?

He doesn't like Tiramisu. What a monster. Get the fuck about. I mean, I'm a bit like indifferent to Tiramisu. I just feel like I eat. I can eat it and it's fine if it were served to me. I wouldn't be like send it back. But I almost always think that there are better desserts than Tiramisu.

Well, I'm not going to disagree. But, you know, if you feel that way, you need to put it on your preference sheet. Because there's one man cooking and he's got compassion. and he is disassociating from this shit, okay? So you can't just be like, I don't like Tiramisou at the very last second. I mean, what the hell? I need some,

I need some warning. You got to put Tiramuuuu on your preference sheet. Although I think it's such an edge case. I myself, if I didn't like Tirmissu, probably would forget to mention it. But I do think that, like, I think it's inoffensive.

I don't want Cluitton or Tiramisu. I don't think it's an, it's not an, it's an inoffensive dessert. I just don't think it's like, anything that ever makes me feel like, ooh, luxury, or, ooh, this is heavenly. It's just like a soft, it's just like a soft on soft dessert. It's just there. So, um, dude, he's actually not mean about it.

He's like, just give me ice cream. I don't care, whatever you've got. So, um, Josh, you know, writing himself little post-its down there. And, uh, he gets a raspberry moose instead. And that's what you get. Now you get raspberry moose. So guess what? You're still going to get something fucking soft.

And they're going to get seeds in your teeth. Sucker! I was impressed. Josh just had contingency desserts ready to go. And like, that's pretty baller, I would say. It looks like he really did detach. So he says, he's like, this is why I never get comfortable, see? Because the guests, they want to do their own thing.

And then all of a sudden the shoes dropped. And now we don't knock here in a zoo. So I'm like, okay. So Josh has, he's organized. He's very proud of himself. Very organized. And that's what allowed him to have the flexibility to not only make tiramisu, but to also make some moose.

Now, I've never made tiramisu, but isn't it just like lady fingers dipped in like, espresso? Like amaret espresso. Okay. And then like what is sort of, what does it sit in? Like what is it, is it butter, it's not buttercream, right?

Is it? It's like, you know, Yeah, it's like a moot, like a moose? Is it a moose? I don't know. It's dipped in coffee layered with a whipped mixture of egg, yolk, sugar, and marscapone. So it's like, it's close to a moose, but it's not. So I don't think it's like a, I don't get the sense.

And I could be wrong unless he made the lady fingers himself. I don't think a tiramisu is like a heavy lift dessert. So he's like, wow, I made a tiramisu. And then I had enough time to make a moose. Like, hmm, both things are pretty easy to make. He's always prepared for people with, like, bad teeth, you know? Yeah. He's just, like, going to make some mushy shit.

He's just always going to be prepared or something mushy. So now Kizzy and Josh are talking, and she's like, you all right, babe? And he's like, yeah, I'm good, babe. And she's like, good, babe. And he's like, do you mind, do you maud me calling you, babe? It's like, no, I love a pet name. Babe, I'm a massive flirt. I love the person that I'm seeing to be, like, obsessed with me.

but like in an unhealthy manner but also like I don't want you like knocking on my door with a knife and being like I want you I want to wear your skin you know what I mean like not like that kind of obsession I just like I have a big fear like being murdered I always have what's wrong with this person everyone has a fear of being murdered you fucking weirdo there's no one on earth who doesn't have a fear of being murdered it's like a totally normal fear she's like I just want the princess treatment like I'd like I'd like I'd like I love the pivot from, I'm really scared. Listen, I don't want a guy who's going to murder me. I just want to be treated like a princess. I was like, well, that's a pretty big extremes he got going on there. I know. I really can't tell after this monologue if she has really high standards or really low standards. Yeah, I can't tell.

You go from, I don't want to be murdered. I want to be treated like a princess. So now everyone goes to bed and everyone's just like, oh, God, the food was so good. And Kizzy is cleaning stuff. And everyone is like turning in. Everyone's going, like everyone's doing their, their nighttime stuff. And, um, and then Captain Sandy is like showing, uh, Tessa, like controls. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey over there, uh, you with the judgey face. Okay. This is a radar. Okay. Just like the time, the latitude, the longitude. And just leave a note if there's going to be a new episode of wind coming up because my DVR has been acting up. I just want to make sure I don't miss anything.

Okay. You got that. Okay. So I guess I'm stuck up here from 12 to three. I mean, Happy to do some odd jobs. Unless you just like people wasting time on your ship, which I'm happy to do. So let me just write that.

Okay, Captain Sandy is okay with people completely wasting their time on her ship. Do you want to sign off on that? Okay. And so Nathan writes like a list of overnight jobs and everything. And then basically Max goes to sleep at the, and this Christian is up. he takes over at 3 a.m. to do the jobs lists. And so then Christian, instead of doing any of the overnight jobs, just sits on his phone and is just sitting there looking bored

for hours and hours and hours on end doing nothing. Yeah. And then now it's the morning. And V is at the laundry machine. Asia just told her she's going to have to do laundry in the morning. So here she is, standing from the washing machine, and doesn't know why it's not working. She doesn't know how to work it. This seems to be a common problem.

I feel like there needs to just be washing machine training. Like, this is how you use the washing machine, you know? I mean, I know it seems like they should know how, but this is below deck. They don't, you can't assume that they know how. No, it's hard. Pushing a button is really hard. So then Max is walking around. He's woke up and he's looking at things and he's seeing that Christian has not done any of the stuff that he was supposed to do, like windows or teak or, you know, the usual, usual junk.

So he's getting really, really pissed about all this. And Aisha's helping V with the laundry and everything. And she's like, you know, my first season in yachting, I was on a boat with a really misogynistic prick of a captain. And like, no matter what I did, I couldn't do it right. And that came to her head when I just said, oh, I'm fucking quitting. And I said, you must have a tiny cork to treat women the way you treat them. Fuck you.

And I ran out of there. And I never came back, you know. And so I really try to be more of a gentle leader because I don't want to get to the point where V tells me, I've got a tiny cock and then storms off the bay. And then for the next two minutes, we just look at Asia while her mouth just hangs open. During your silent laugh.

Which we had dinner with Asia a few months ago. and she really does that and she does it all the time and it's like really a pleasure to behold like she literally like she will she will bend over and just the mouth is open and she stares at you like

do you want to do it too? So we go back to Max and he's very disappointed in the list you guys Max is a big list person and the list isn't done so he's like I don't know the laugh of question

okay but I'm trying to hypnotize him to put fire in his ass. I put fire into his ass, right? They're like, oh, it's under his ass. Oh, under his ass. Dildo, walking dildo, beautiful walking dildo. Is that what his hypnotherapy taught him that you can use hypnosis to like motivate other people?

I thought it's that you use hypnosis. Like you are, you receive the hypnosis, not that you use hypnosis to motivate people. I don't know. So they're cleaning. And he's like, Max is, he's, he's like really, like, trying to show. He's like being like a, he's big a very, what's the right word, like, presentational. He's like, he's really going overboard showing.

He's like, I'm a cleaner. I'm cleaning. I'm doing the right thing. He's like maybe trying to lead by example, but also prove that he's the cleaner. And he's complaining the entire time. Yeah. So he's just bitching it himself about how he's the only one who knows what he's doing. And then we got to Asia talking to Nathan

And how yesterday was so fat And he's like, it was upside down Like I don't know where to look She's like, here we go, here we go So then Nathan says hey He's like, hey, what's cracking Frenchman? And he's like, come, come, we need to talk. What did you say to question?

To organize in the morning? He did nothing. Windows, rinsing teeth? Nothing was done. Nothing was done. So Nathan's like Oh Jesus Christ He got up and none of this was done

He's like no I do want to give Tessam Krishna a chance to prove That they're capable of adjusting and learn And getting on with the job as fast as possible But I'm not even fucking around anymore This is actually terrible This is beyond a joke But enough about my haircut, am I right?

Yeah So he's like Okay Well Chris hasn't ticked any of the stuff off And he's like Yes I tell you something was wrong Did you listen to me?

I told you something was wrong. Fire and ass. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So then we see Nathan and Max cleaning stuff that Christian didn't do. And then Aisha passes Sandy and gives her high five. And she's like, try better. I mean, you're a lesbian.

High fives should be in your blood. That was a very weak high five. You're right. I like my fives. the way I like the hem on my pants. Hi, okay, this is a Capri high five. Okay, there you go. This five is gonna be so high

you're gonna see my ankles. Okay, got it. So now Christian and Vee and Kizzi, they're all in the crew mess and they tell the Christian, he smells really nice and everything. Because Vee's being flirty because that's what she likes to do. She loves a flirt.

She likes to be a flirt. And he's wearing Jimmy Chew to work. That seems weird, right? Is that weird to be, I don't know. I feel like it's too fancy of a smell to be working a non-fancy job. Yeah, but it is a Mega Yacht. It's a Mega Yacht. It's a Mega Yacht.

It's a Mega Yacht. God, I missed that guest. I know I should dig up that clip. It's a mega y'i. It's a mega y'a. So that was the best. So Aisha says that the guests want to go into town. And it's like, oh, it's a beautiful town.

Have you been, Sitches? Oh, my God. It's wonderful. They call it the anti-norma of towns in Spain. It's just that pretty. Wow. People actually want to go in it. So now Maxi's a B.

And he's terrified of the bee. He's like, work better be. Work better. You are bad worker. I'm better be than you. Yeah, he literally loses his mind. And then Josh is making some fruit. He's doing some cooking just in general.

And Nathan is making, give a tongue, the deck hands to do some inflatable stuff. And they have. And Christian's like, but there isn't enough space for it all. And he's like, but we got the whole fucking sea. He's like, oh. But then. Now, this, Josh is doing something that I always think they should be doing on below deck, which is making a dish for breakfast and saying, here's what's for breakfast. Then you serve it.

And then if somebody wants something else or something different, then they can tell you. Because breakfast is one of the biggest cluster fucks on this show when people start ordering a million different things. And I've always felt like if you just tell them, okay, here's what's for breakfast. It's a, in this case, it's a poached egg avocado. And then you just say, this is what you're getting for breakfast. And if they want something different than they're allowed to. Well, he does that. And it blows up in his face.

So, well, but the thing is they should have just served it. Not, they should have served it. And then said, does anyone want anything else, anything different?

Not so instead, Asia wound up saying like, oh, we're going to have, we're going to be serving this. And then they're like, actually, can I have this?

So like, like really eliminate all the options as possible. just get it straight ahead right in front of them. He's your fucking breakfast. You want to change it? They should have just served everybody tiramisu with an egg on top. So Kizzy is cleaning.

She has too many rags in her caddy, which feels like that's British slang for something. Oh, you, darling, you've got too many rags in your caddy. How dare you? You ding-dong. You really need to focus on your career. Too many rags in your caddy at the moment. She's like, I'm not sure if he has like a passion for detail.

Is she English? What is she? She's English, yeah. She is. So, but at the same time, it's great for me because now I look like a rock star, like the best ever. And it's great because I can be like, oh, V, did that wrong. You know, that sounds horrible, doesn't it? I was just flirting with you.

I love to flirt. And I think she, like, knocks over like a little jar when she says that. Okay, so toxic, toxic lady incoming. So Nathan is trying to get the. tender ready for this excursion and everything and people are just being slow. It's like, Christian Tasa, did you copy my last, my last thing? Christian Tasa, hello? Oh, Jesus, Jesus.

So he goes over to them and he's like, Tass, Christian, you need to be on your radios. And Christian's like, bro, where's my radio? It's like, it's right here. He's like, I'm sorry, bro. I need more urgency. So then we see Josh talking about the avocado poached eggs. He's like, okay, guys, I've got avocado poached eggs and bacon. And Da Vinci's like, yeah, I'm going to need a ham and cheese omelette.

And then his fiance is like, yeah, I just want avocado with no egg on it. With nuts. And she's like, yeah, also I want a sunny side egg. And she's like, yeah, can I have nuts on my avocado? Thanks. A lot of good fat. Can I have an egg with nuts also, please? Can I have an egg with nuts, please also?

Thank you. Can I have an egg with the sunny side runny, but well done up, but also down to the side with some walnuts? That would be really great. Can I get a Japanese rolled egg, please? And can you put a little top hat on it so it looks fancy? Thank you. Can I get a Spanish egg? I only want Spanish eggs.

Do not try to serve a Peruvian egg. Can you just serve meat? Here's what I want. I want a suvied parsnip, but then when it's ready, cut it out and carve it to make it look like an egg, but we all know it's actually a parsnip. Thank you so much. I want a Bitcoin egg.

Bitcoin. How do we eat Bitcoin? Stop while Bitcoin, please. So Josh How many confirmations did this egg have before it was served

to my table? So this sets up a wonderful moment. So Josh is like, oh God, eggs with nuts and hard boiled eggs

and caffeine. It's not hard to make, but it's like I've set myself up, I've organized myself and now it's kind of gone to shit. Oh dear.

You know, it's essential for me to have my galley in order because, well, get ready, everyone. I used to be a little bit out of control my personal life.

Oh, you don't say. I took drugs for many years. Cooking saved me. You don't say. A chef and a clown used to be a heroin addict. I don't believe it. I do not believe it. Cooking saved me from drugs.

Growing up, the people around me in town, the town I grew up, and everyone was just kind of doing it. Everyone was doing drugs. My grandmother, my mom, my grand, my dog. the postman, the person of the drugs or obviously was doing it. Everyone's doing drugs. So at 14, it would be pills on the weekend, cocaine, you know, during the weekdays, there was softer stuff like black guitar, heroin and LSD.

Maybe we'd just choose some children's advert. I don't know. Really anything we'd get our hands on. But the weekends is when we went real crazy. Oh my gosh, it is crazy. There are so many sober people in the kitchen. And I've worked in kitchens my whole life. And there really are just, that theory is true.

I mean, there are a lot of, like, ex-addicts working in kitchens. Yet there's always coke in kitchens as well. Like, it's always the best place to find coke. So I don't really know. I don't really. It's a conundrum. It's a conundrum, I'll tell you. But they show pictures of him to prove that he was a drug addict, I guess.

So he's telling me a story like, yeah, you know, I was really young. I was on dry and they kept showing him he never looked the same in one picture it was one of those things I couldn't even tell who he was I was like who are I know there are a lot of really odd looking white people with bruised under eyes like I don't even know who any of these people are which is him it was like they kept on showing pictures of like three pasty corey feldman ask British boys and I was like which one I think that one's him but it could be that one and they kept on showing them through the years growing up and I was like who are these other two boys and is this like a tricky thing it's like highlights magazine or

something like which one is different in which picture um but yeah it was the age old i was on drugs cooking saved me and now i'm a clown you know it's as cliche as it comes yeah and now i'm a clown yeah so he got sober in 2019 and um you know is it better to burn out or is it better to fade away i don't know i'll say you what both of those things are better with that clown makeup now he's making breakfast and uh da vinci's fiance is writing something i'm sure something really romantic and carl's like oh you should say doing he's like you know what like sitting here like being with you guys and having nothing to say to each other like it's really nice right because it's like quiet like listen to it isn't that comfortable isn't it isn't it why's nobody talking is it me

my ugly and my too skinny is everybody sick of my white jeans what is happening uh sandy and nathan are hanging around and sandy and nathan looks at the what he points at the water and he's like oh there's loads of jellyfish on the water and sandy's like oh yeah you'll just make them very just make the guests really aware and we'll scare the jellyfish off by the way do jellyfish get scared off i feel like jellyfish don't even have brains they just float to things and they just Jellyfish ain't scared of shit. They can sting you with their minds. They do not give you crap, okay?

And also, I've never seen jellyfish like this where they're just, first of all, they're the kind that's, I don't know, we talked about this in the preview when we saw some jellyfish, but they're kind of like chunky jellyfish. I don't know. They're not like as, you know how some jellyfish are, these are like solid mushroom looking fish. They're big. And they're like kind of at the top of the water like it's. feeding time and they're waiting for worms to be dropped into the water. It's really weird. They're like coy. They're like coy. They are they were beautiful. They were beautiful and they were like very like visible too. Like some jellyfish you can't really see very well, but these

were very obvious. But what's so funny is I just, um, I did a Google search. I said, can you scare a jellyfish? And you know Google always offers an AI answer. And it got a little sassy with me. It says, no, you cannot quote unquote, scare a jellyfish. I was like, okay. No need for the, uh, No need for the quotes. No need for the derision. It goes, it says, no, you cannot scare a jellyfish because they lack a brain and cognitive abilities to feel fear or other emotions.

Dummy. Idiot. Thank you, Google, for shaming me. So the answer is you can't scare them, okay? They just have a nerve net that allows them to sense and react to environmental changes. Well, I'll give them an environmental change.

It's called put on some capri pantsy jellyfish and get out of here, scram. Is this a... I prefer a flowier jellyfish. I don't like these like thick, staunch jellyfish. I don't like them. I like these ones. You like the ones that have the big sort of like...

Like a caftan. Yeah. You know, where it's like flowing. Like a caftan in the wind. Where they're like, oh, jeez, my boy, I'm a jellyfish. How are you doing? What are you doing today? I'm doing nothing.

I'm smoking cigarettes on my deck and listening to classical music. What are you doing? you doing? You're like, oh my God. Has that person ever worked? Has that jellyfish ever had a job? Their caftains just blowing. These are like little staunch, like the mushrooms from Mario brothers. I don't like them. They're like little button mushrooms. I like them like that nice sort of like blue tint. And like sometimes I don't like the jellyfish that have all those like ruffles. You know, like they're sort of like tentacles have like lots of business, almost like the front of a pirate shirt or something. I don't like jellyfish like that very much. These I like they're

very classic, but I really hate that jellyfish sting so much because it's like if you don't have a brain, it's like not fair that you can, that you can hurt people, but you don't have a brain. Like it's not, if you hurt me because like, have you not been paying attention to politics? Well, my point remains. I don't like mindless hurting of people. And that goes for you jellyfish. Now I get it. It's like, no, it's because they don't have a brain. They need to have some sort of defense. Otherwise, I'll just get eaten up. I'm like, fine. But, like, I just don't think it's fair that they're the ones who are just being thoughtless, literally thoughtless.

They can't have thoughts. And yet they can get away with, like, terrifying an entire boat. We don't know what they can think and what they can't think. I don't believe that jellyfish don't have thoughts. They do. I believe that they don't. I believe they do not have thoughts. You know?

How would we know? We think we know everything. What the fuck do we know? We're not inside a jellyfish. What fuck are we going to? All right. I want to raise the jellyfish. Jellyfish is like, yeah, jellyfish are people too.

Jellyfish are people too, everyone. There it is. So these jellyfish are floating around. And Max is like, oh, la, I love these beautiful blue pepper, chandelier, jellyfish. They are fucking gorgeous. They look like, you know, Maju Stukyu. It's like, oh, I love it. I just want to touch it.

I want to touch it on top. And they're like, well, don't touch it. It's going to sting me. He's like, no, you can touch on top. It's only the 10 acres that will hurt you. It's okay. It's always better tenties. Ah, yes, I'm going to pet the jellyfish on top.

So it's like trying to grab the jellyfish from the top, which this is why I'm glad that they can sting because stupid fucking people like Max. Yeah, I take it all back, actually. Actually, what are they doing? The jellyfish aside with this. They're doing nothing. They're just trying to like relax by a boat, you know? And he's like, I'm going to grab it by the head.

And so he grabs it. And then he can't get a hold of it, but he does touch it. And then he starts rubbing his eyes. And he had jellyfish splooge on his hands. And he touched his eye. And now he's going to go blind. Now he's burning. God, I can't believe you had such a negative reaction to touching a jellyfish voluntarily.

This was, remind me of on below deck adventure. There was this awful deck hand who like scooped up a, like grabbed a fish and then he like ate it. And I was like, what are you doing? And it's like this. Like, why are you touching the fish? Like, do your job. Do your food. And don't touch the jellyfish.

And now look what you've done. Now you got jellyfish splooge in your eye and you're, and you're like, you can't see. Like, I would have been afraid I would have lost my eye because it's like, the jellyfish thing is not nothing. Like, this guy's an idiot. Yeah. And that's one of the things you go to the hospital for and you're like bleeding out of your eyes. And they're just like, you're so stupid. It's like people who go in there with like a cocoa.

bottle up there, but they're like, I, like, reconsidering their lives. You know, like, what am I doing here? What am I doing here? So Aisha is like, Nathan, could you see Max? He touched a jellyfish and touched his eyes and his eyes are on fire and I would help him, but I can't see through my tears of laughter. So if you could help him. So they're trying to help him. Nathan's like, what an idiot. Now, Josh is complaining because these people are crazy. And then Sandy goes down to check on Max. And he's like, it is like, Tobasco, Tobasco in the eye. She's like, oh, God, why'd you touch the fish?

Why? She really is looking at him like, why'd you do that? It's like every time I see a guy, you know, emerging from a date with Norma, I'm like, why did you do it? Why would you do that? She's just kind of laughing at him. Say, go put fresh water out in the crew mass. Hey, we've got some espresso pots. Try those.

Does anyone want to pee on Max's eye? Anyone? No? Okay, I guess it doesn't have to use the water. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like, Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickleous. Hava Nigela Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo. Jamie. She has no less namey. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K. Surrah, Sarah, whatever will be will Lauren Sillsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McKinery. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox. You can't have a burger without the berg. This is Living with Michelle Vivian.

I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippy.

And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen, Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen La Ifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the corkmaster, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. Gee, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthie.

Always killing it, it's Low Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Neat, it's Ronit Feldman. Maximum love for Sandy Maximuska. She's the queen B, it's Sarah Lemke.

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon, out of a canon, Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Sully and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plan. She ain't no shrinking Violet Couthar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.