Watch What Crappens - #3029 RHOSLC S604 Part One: Warm and Muzzie

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapReal Housewives of Salt Lake City features more Muzzie, who is giving the most heinous moms of Bravo a run for their money. Speaking of mos, Whitney tries to explain to Brittani how to be one and Mary renovates the church that broke up her relationship with her own mom. Happy Muzzies Day! To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie, and that's the gorgeous. Ben von Den Mendelka over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good.

Welcome to the show, everybody. It is a very special episode. It is a toxic mother's episode of Watch what Crapins. Salt Lake City coming down the pike. Mom's not looking so great today. If you've got Mommy issues, this is probably not the episode to listen to you, because guess who else does? Me and I was triggered.

That's going to happen. I was triggered. It's going to be a big moment. This was the most captivating mother-daughter scene we've seen since Linda and Monica, I will say. And that scene lives in my head. Like that was, to me, one of the most gripping, intense, fascinating scenes we've ever seen on Bravo. And then this one came right along and is right up there with it, if you ask me. Well, I have to say, Linda and Monica at least seemed like they were having fun.

You know, like they're that kind of mother and daughter who fight to the death and they just like they seem like that's so fun. You know that they do it every day. They kick each other out. They steal each other's cars. You know, whatever's going on with them. They seem to be enjoying it. This was not as enjoyable to me. I mean, that was like a fun romp compared to this.

Geez, good Lord, muzzle that woman. Take it from her name and muzzle muzzie. That's what I say. Well, Linda and Monica, I don't think anything's really going to live up to that also. That scene was so intense and it was so long. It like literally had a commercial break in the middle of it and still kept on going because there was so much. And on top of that, you had Linda talking to like a plant in the corner. Yeah, the plant.

And like eating guacamole for dessert. Like it was so unhinged and there was so much that they were unpacking. It was so it was like a one act play. This one though was this one was was a doozy though. I mean, it was I was I was clutching. And I was also thinking about you, Ronnie, the entire time. I was like, ooh, Ronnie is going to be on one tomorrow. That's what I was thinking last night when I was watching it.

I was like, I'm just going to. No, listen, you know, my parental issues, I'm older now, I'm calmer. We've discussed it all. We don't have the issue. But let me tell you, those old scars, man, they start burning, you know, when I see shit like this. And it wasn't just Ronwin. I mean, it was Mary talking about her mother. And then you've got that nitwit Britney talking about her daughters.

and Whitney of all people whose storyline is finding a poll again. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ is lecturing. Truly, that's her storyline. Lecturing Brittany. I mean, the whole thing was just a gift to anybody with mommy issues.

It's like there's just so much. But as usual, before we get into it, crappy hour is every other Monday. We just did one this week. It was so much fun. 5.30 Pacific Time. Amazon Live, we're going to be doing probably weekly

coming because we just love doing those so we're going to be doing those probably weekly starting soon those are every other Monday for now when we're not doing the Amazon lives and those are at 4 p.m. Pacific time you can find those on your Amazon Prime channel or on the internet or on your phone wherever you are just come find the information in our link and bio over at our Instagram at watch what crapans I'm Ronnie Karam and that's Ben Mandelker at so that's that um let's get get to this episode, shall we? Let's get into it.

I mean, also, you know, for all the mommy stuff, there was just, this was a good episode, actually. Like, I have to say, I loved this episode because it was also, it gave us like a little bit of a breather from the nonstop fighting. But then it also had the fighting too. And I thought there was like really like, you know, touching moments as well. And there was what seemed to be resolution that we know is not going to be

truly resolution. But sometimes with these episodes, it gets really tense when people just hate each other. You do sort of kind of crave them to just like understand each other. So that, they gave us that. But where we pick up, we're still in the thick of it. And basically we're at Lisa's clarity luncheon, which I didn't realize it was called a clarity luncheon, which that's so funny. So basically Lisa is like blowing her gasket because of everyone coming for her lawsuits. And Bronwyn's saying she asked you a question and you're hurling insults at her. I don't remember who she said. She asked you a question. Yeah, she asked you, yeah, she asked you a question about being a crook and a thief, the liar. I love how they gaslight on

their show. They're like, I just don't understand where you're so mad Lisa. Like, what do you so mad about? That said, Lisa did have this huge thing where she's like, oh, yeah, you want to ask me a question, then ask me a question. Okay, what about your business? You're a whore. That's the answer. That's the answer. You're a whore. Okay, does anybody else have any questions? Yeah, that was the clarity. Because Lisa set up this whole brunch, like, this is the time to put it all out on the table, ask me anything, and I will answer anything. And literally everything that people asked her, she was like, I don't have to answer that. I don't have to take for money. I don't have to answer that. Lisa, Lisa, I haven't been a happy family. You're always hurling insults, Lisa. I mean, why do you have to insult everybody? And then Whitney's like, I am triggered. I am Lee. I am going to the elevator. I cannot believe this.

Whitney's terrible acting as she's trying to stock off to the elevator is so fucking funny. And she never leaves, of course. And by the end of the fight, I was like, is Brittany sitting there? They're like, okay, everybody, we're made up now. Britney's there. It's like, okay, I guess she came back from the elevator. Well, if Lisa wants to clear up these allegations, then she should be listening to our questions. but she's an irrational toddler

and I'm not going to stoop I'm removing myself until she tuckers herself out I am triggered So then Lisa turns to Angie And it's like You saw the nastiest things about ma Which is basically

Angie making the joke That Lisa's the new Jen Shaw And she goes But like guess what You only own one and a half Lunatic fringe salons Which by the way That's like a perfect

That's like something If you only own somehow one and a half salons, that's nothing to like turn your nose up about. So Angie's like, who told you that I own one and a half? That's not true. Yeah, the rest are franchised. They're franchisos. She's like, uh, let me help you count my cash. I have three stations that I own and also a pint of Tzaki, Tziki, and the rest are franchises.

It's a model I'm proud of. Yeah, but you know what? Be honest about what you own. you're always like I own 10 salons but you own one and a half it's one and a half she's like I do not have one and a half why do I have to specify as hello

everyone my name is Angie Kaye I am Greek and I own seven Greek salons one and a half one half there is no one and a half you lie and you throw shit out there to insult me and so Angie tells us I finally figured out Lisa's tactic out

she lies to deflect and make someone else to target and everyone is tired of it but you know what they're not tired of, me being Greek. I love that she's figured Lisa out. It's taken a while. Wasn't really this deep of a mystery. I didn't lie.

You know what? I didn't do it to insult you. You took it as an insult. You just took it as an insult that you own one and a half. Okay? And she's like, you have no idea what I own. So now they're fighting over how many businesses she owns. And Angie goes, you own French fries.

I own franchises. You should stick to it. You should stick to it. I am Greek. And she's like, what do you mean? And Mary goes, French fries? There's like, French fries. She said you do French fries and I do franchises.

And Mary goes, ooh, that was good. It was good. I was like, is that going to be our high body count hair of this season? I mean, it's so early. It feels like, like, you do. French fries. I do franchise. That is, I mean, that's like got levels to it. I, like, I'm putting that one on a t-shirt. Like, I'm going to wear that one out. I mean, well, I won't really wear that one out. But like, this is a good one. I won't. I won't. I'll be like a

sassy. I do franchise. I'm going to be like a sassy girl from 2005. Like in my statement t-shirt. I mean, it would be better, honestly, if she had like a potato farm or something or like did french fries. I don't know. I need it more like related to. If she was from your Ida family, then that would be impressive. I mean, it's a head scratcher. It's a typical ante one where you have to like scratch your head after and be like, wait, she does French fries. When did Lisa come out with the line of front?

Oh, you know what? I guess maybe she's talking about Wendy's, which is also a franchise. Oh my God, franchise fight. Is that what she's saying? She's talking about Wendy's. She's so dumb. You focus on getting fast food. I focus on running businesses.

Or on another level, it's like you come in to, like you come in to buy the fries. I'm the one selling the fries. Like, you're the customer. I'm the management. It's actually like on so many levels. It's like you're a fast food person. I'm a business person. You're a customer.

I'm management. You know, you're, there's probably a good third one there. But I petered out. I feel so dumb that I didn't really get that she was like coming at her about Wendy's. But yeah, that is good. Yeah. But either thing isn't really a diss. I mean, someone has a huge Wendy's sponsorship.

That's kind of good. But Angie, having Framie, franchises, like having a business that's so successful that it's been franchised is also really good. So they're like dissing each other with good things, which I kind of like about this show. They're keeping it positive. I didn't think it was like a diss on the Wendy's sponsorship. I think it was more like Lisa has really made that a big part of her personality. Like she doesn't even like the food in Italy because it's too fresh.

She likes fast food. Like that's her thing. I love fast food. I like going to Wendy's. I like going to McDonald's. We like going to Sonic. Like we love fast food. So she's just saying like, look.

That's your thing. Your lane is that you enjoy fast food, like the trash box that you are, and I'm in management because only good people work in business management, right? But, like, that's, it was, it was cutting. And it was, it's also cutting because Lisa has been trying to position herself as this mover and shaker.

Like, she's hanging out with Blake Lively and Ben Affleck and all these celebrities and like, yeah, Tom Selleck is coming to the Vita Tequila Lounge. It's amazing. But she's basically like, you think that you're in the celebrity class. You're just a lady who goes to the drive-thru that I own. That's kind of like the implication.

And it's just, it hits Lisa. Like it was just a, it was a real, it's a real humdinger. Just like you, I'm super proud of what I created, okay? Because it's not just this. It's not just dust, mess, dust, dismiss, dust, smith. She's like, okay, well, let me ask you this. I invested in your son's line. I put it on my shelf to support Jack and your family,

but you are doing nothing to help market it, but you're out trying to peddle yourself to get a partnership with Caritas, someone that I've been partners with for 26 years. And she's like, I didn't pedal it. They love my shiny pretty hair. They love it. And she starts doing her two finger comb with her hair.

They love my shiny hair. I love that his instinct is to like to elevate. her hair instead of saying, no, I 100% do, like, market for Fresh Wolf. And I do it all the time. And the fact that you don't see my hard work shows what a shitty friend you are. Like, that was like the obvious path forward. Instead, she's like, my heart's pretty. So, yeah, of course I'm going to work with Carastas.

Why are you not promoting Fresh Wolf? Promote your son's Fresh Wolf? It is a sea line. It didn't really belong on my shelves in the first place. Carostess belongs on my shelves. It's actually a luxury men's grooming line. which is why I don't market it whatsoever to any sort of salons. She's like, is it.

She's like, yeah, yeah, it is. Well, it belongs in Walmart, which, by the way, I would be so happy to have a product that was sold in Walmart. That's what I'm saying. They keep dissing each other with good things. She's like, wow, your product deserves a Walmart, a Walmart part sponsorship. Your product deserves to have a huge distribution across the country

at affordable prices. Merritt didn't interview recently, and she was saying the auntie came up to her. And she's like, I have some gossip. And she's like, what? She goes, I saw, I think it was Lisa. It was either Lisa or Meredith. She's like, I saw them in a Walmart. And there's my gosh, is this a huge diss?

So funny. So that's her thing. It belongs in Walmart. You are very jealous. No, bitch, you are, you are jealous. You question every single fucking thing I have. Just fucking stop! Just fucking stop!

This is ridiculous! I mean, now you're coming for my kid's brand and calling it A-list or C-lust? Like, oh my god, we're at a point of no return! Hey, yeah, nobody wants to hear the business being called a C-level business. Can we just accept that that was not a nice thing to say? My toddler, who happens to be part of the LGBTQ community, does say that the C-word is being a nice thing to say.

that the C word is back, but apparently you cannot use it with businesses, so I think that there are some apologies that are old. Dog after tag after tag. It's a tag. That was a tag. Hold on. Hold on, everyone. I would like

a word. I thought like your... Let me do a three-finger point. A monologue by Heather. A women's empowerment monologue from Heather Gay. I'm going to do a three-finger point to show how serious I am about this.

I felt like you were absolutely, totally unfairly attacked when we went camping, and you weren't there to defend yourself, and I understand your desire to clear your name, for you to go low and count her franchises, count her money, and then

Angie, you just flipped it right back, and you're telling her the business line that she developed with her sons is a sea line, and that's like some sort of diss. We are here as women. We are here, as entrepreneurs. We are here as people who've been held back by our own daughters while we wait for them to slowly get out of the house. And this is how we treat each other? I say no, ladies. We can be better. Think about our ancestors back on the wagons coming over in long underwear. Were they coming after each other for being to Walmart? Were they? Or for owning one and a half wagons instead of a franchise of wagons? What kind of women are we? It was not a diss.

It was not a diss. It is a diss. You're doing it to be a diss, and I'm not afraid to say it to you. You don't need to go low, and you don't need to go lower. We all need to get in our new offices with ice-mint walls and create books,

books that millions of little girls will read for inspiration. I want to be clear. I want to be able to talk to you honestly, and I'm nodding my head to show that this is important to me. This was horrible, horrible, and I'm not friends with you. Horrible. Let me just say, not only wasn't horrible, it was horrifying, but mainly horrible. And I'm not friends with you because of your legal filings or because of your tequila.

God knows it's not the tequila. I'm not friends with you because of your sponsorships. I'm friends with you because we have great times together, being away from my daughters who hold me back year after year. This has not been a great time. I think you could probably say the same Everyone at this table could say the same That you are a fearless, strong person And when you're on someone's side

You feel invincible But when you're against somebody You feel completely vulnerable And I have felt A vulnerable Oh for Christ's sake Someone pull a curtain Jesus Christ

Is this a poetry slam? Take the mic Take the mic And Lisa's like You know what But there's times that I felt vulnerable too. Hey, hey, you guys, you guys, watch me. I'm gonna be vulnerable, okay? Vulnerable, vulnerable, okay. I grew up different than everybody, so it looks different, but I'm

vulnerable, and Gatsonavus, you, I love you, I love you, and I'm so sensitive when it comes to you. Vulnerability, guys, vulnerable, I'm being vulnerable. She's so ridiculous, because when you love someone hard, and when they do something to you, it hurts, it hurts way, aren't it? And you know what? I thought we were in a good place. And then it happens in camp. You have a conversation at camp. It's really fucking hurtful.

Hold on a minute. This is vulnerability crying. Vulnerability. I apologize. I accept your apology in my vulnerable state. And I have all those seem feelings about you. And even when I want to ring your little neck, I do love you too. And that's why I do get emotional.

And that's why I fight back as hard. as I do. And yo, and you, Heather, I'm your biggest champion. And I really love you, Heather. You're extremely honest with me. You know, even though your last name is gay and I really don't approve because it's not neither of my religions, but you're extremely hard on me when you need to be hard on me. And I feel like you're only as good as the people you're around.

You know what? Yeah. And that's why I had to get rid of my daughters, those good for nothing little sluts. So, thank God. But it's from my heart. think you guys know, I don't say things I don't mean. It's like I told Blake lively the other day. I said, please stay. Could you have a headshot you could sign? Because I'll put it up in my Premier Vita Tequila Lounge. You know what? And like Bronwyn, like there's things I see in you

and I acknowledge in you. Like, I don't understand about you. Even if you don't think I see it, like I see that you could be a good person. Like you look like someone who might want to go to Wendy's. And I like that about you. And Bronwyn's like, well. what? Sometimes you may see a little frosty, but you know what? My love for you is, is biggie-sized. So, you know, go get your, go get your like limited shamrock edition. Wait a minute. Are you just doing a frosty ad right now? Listen, I'm sorry, but it's hard to talk to the only person who hasn't taken this hint in season two and gotten hair extensions. I'm sorry. Well, I want to say it clearly in front of everybody. I did not take any pride in hearing about

this stuff, I just wanted you to stop talking about me. And I know that I hurt you, and I know that you hurt me. And when you're ready to say that, I think that's when we move forward. And to end that, I'll give it a triple. It's a fourth one, actually.

Okay, can we raise a glass to friends that love hard and hurt hard? But I love each and every single one of you. You know, it's important to love your fans. And I do. So, cheers everybody. They're like, cheers. I love this show.

I love that five seconds ago, they're like, fuck you, slut, you stupid whore, you're nothing. Your kids suck too. Your kids can't even do business. And five minutes later, they're like, love you, I love you so much. I love your posters. You had the best posters made.

You are Greek. I also love how when Lisa was saying, I love each and every one of you. They were showing all the women around the table. And I was like, oh yeah, there's that girl, Amy. I forgot she was there. And Whitney's smiling. Yeah.

Back for the elevator. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now, let's go over to the Meredith Marks boutique where Seth can be wacky. It's wacky times with Seth. So they are going to be opening a store and the Meredith is like, so here's what I'm thinking. The front part of this side should be just like this and super and tiny, chic little jewelry store that people walk into, or if you're Jen Shaw's Posse, then you can shoplift from,

and then they go through the back, a speakeasy caviar lounge, and in theory, we could go up a level and we'll go back 20 feet from the biggest caviar lounge that Park City's ever seen. Watch up here. We could do crazy things up here, maybe threesomes, maybe we could get Polly up here. Oh, Seth, that's an attic. Put Chloe on my shoulders and we can see. Well, be careful, and the lights up there, Chloe. My other toddler's about to get electrocuted. Oh, my God.

Then we go to Mary and Heather having lunch, and Heather's like, I'm parched. You know, I over drank yesterday because I gave, you know, such a touching monologue. I took your tequila, then I took Angie's tequila. And Mary's like, I don't drink tequila. I just, all I taste is medicine. Like, it tastes like hospital. She's like, oh, so in hospital not only has a smell, it also has a taste. She's like, well, all smells have a taste.

Like when you pass gas, someone would say, oh, my God, my mouth was open. And then you, yeah, never mind. Yeah. And it's like, I'm not, I'm not following. Tasting farts. So then we go to Whitney and Justin for my favorite scene of the episode. I miss the old days when people would be like, Whitney Rose has a pole in her house. So let's put the pole back up, Justin.

It's been so hard being a CEO. I forgot about what really matters. What really, really matters. That's why I'm a proud member of Mapa. Make America poll again. So she, also, I think she got it wrong. I don't think people were like, Whitney Rose has a poll in her house. Like, oh, God, we have to watch Whitney Rose on her pole in her house again.

I don't think it was people were excited about it. I don't think one person in America was like, oh, my God, we really need poll dancing over women being CEOs. What is happening to this country? What is happening to this country? Women leaving the poll to become CEOs? What the hell? And I like that she's just so loosely using the term CEO, too. She's like, after my turn into CEO, I forgot about what's really important.

Okay, Leona Hemsley, calmed out over there. Now I'm a C.E. pole. So, she was like, well, everyone thought it was like the GCST, and moms would gossip about it in carpool. And it was like the weird around town. And I didn't care. It made me want to do it even bigger and moorer and louderer. And I stuffed that away when I became a CEO. I forgot.

And the failure of my business has. really taking a toll on me. A toll that only a pole can fix. I need a pole for the toll. But now it's an abrupt sign from the universe saying it's like God said, get back on your course. Stop trying to do things like business and stuff. Get on a pole. I love that in Britney's mind. God is like, Whitney, this is a sign. Get back on the pool. And then, God spoke to me. He spoke to me through a burning bush he said whitney grab up squeeze hard slide down and then i like what she explains to justin you know it's like you know those flowers that like close in but then open up i'm like you mean flowers you mean like all of them i was trying to think of what she

mouths like like a venous flytrap what is she talking about and then they open up again like this and she's like bending over her butt in his face he's like yeah okay just trying to figure out how to work this l wrench honey yeah but it's like i had to close off and now that i'm coming out the other side it's like that kind of flower when it closes off and then it comes out the other side of the flower honey just this is this is your husband talk to you get back on the pole just get on the poll okay please god said get on the poll god did not say make metaphors so then we go to Lisa and Bronwyn so they meet at the

Premier Vita Tequila Lounge which I think we have to go to next time we're in Salt Lake City and Lisa is like oh my God oh my God Bronwyn we're almost in the same jeans I'm like not even joking Bronwyn's wearing this crazy

graphic print that's like it's super utre like it's like all these colors all these images and Lisa's just like in jeans I was like Lisa you were not about to wear Bronwyn jeans. I'm going to tell you that right now. First of all, I'm not even sure that they were jeans. There were these, it was like flowy fabric with like bell bottoms and stuff.

Like, yeah, I almost wore my, I wore the wrong pants because I have other, I'm like in like a crazy pants era and I wore these to the recap today. Let's see. Show some leg. Oh, look at that. That's fun. I'm wearing my Bronwood pants for the recap today. Good for you. It's getting to a little bit of the mood. So it's fashion, guys. It's fashion.

So yeah, we launched it in Joan. We had great parties during Sundance. Blake, Ryan, Ryan and Blake, Blake and Ryan. You know how it goes. Fun people on stage, which we love. Brohans like, oh, that is your favorite. And it's like, I'm like, is that a worthy thing? But like, yeah, she's like, like, celebrities.

She's like, oh, you sure do love your celebrities. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. So why am I at this? Why am I at this, um, Costco tequila lounge? Because that's, it, it smells flammable in here. Well, you know, I felt like there were like so many voices yesterday.

And it was like hard to hear anything. So I thought it'd be like good if we chatted and kind of like figure things out in the presence of the Vita tequila lounge, which solves everything for everyone. You know, if Justin Baldoni had been here, he could have totally fixed this with Blake. Mm-hmm. Damaging things were sad. And you know what? I'm so sorry about those. And I think it really stemmed from you feeling hurt about our friendship and me feeling hurt about our friendship.

And I don't want to sit in that space anymore. Listen, I don't want to sit in the space of losing. So it would be great if you didn't attack me in public anymore. What do I have to do? Okay. What's going on between you and I? I mean, we can be honest, Lisa. We can be honest.

It's been on purpose. It's been hurtful. It's been hurtful, Lisa. Yeah, I think what happened was I said things that I didn't realize were like a Big Delphrio, which I take accountability for. And we see a flashback to like this ongoing issue with Lisa and this other family and that was Bronwyn's ex's family and yada. And Lisa's like, I'm sorry. Because Lisa was friends with the dad, the dead dad's, the dead father of the child's parents and knows them from church and stuff. So Bronwyn was like, you know, these parents fucked me over.

And Lisa was, at first it was Lisa was like, oh, yeah, I totally feel for you. And I feel for everyone in the situation. But then later came out that Lisa was saying that the mom said that Bronwyn faked a miscarriage so that she never had to introduce the daughter to them. I mean, it was just, that was a whole, that was a whole thing. That was dark. That was crazy. Yeah. So Bronwyn says, basically,

says, I don't, I don't think it was your intention to hurt me. And I think actually, like, she's like, I want to clear this up. I just, you know, I had, when the way it began, like, I had nothing but appreciation gratitude. And, and she's, yeah, I felt that. And we see, we go back to that, like, really moving scene where they talked about it last season at, like, the nail salon. And Brown was saying how she, like, would have only shared it with her. And she's like, I never felt like more, nothing other than appreciative that, like, you put your time and effort into this, and you risk putting your relationship with them in a really weird place by talking to them for me. And I always was grateful for that. And, you know, I've handled it with

the most important person, which is Gwen, and we're in a good place. And I think it's just, she goes, Bronwyn goes, I think it's just like a race to the bottom right now. Because like where we are, it's just, it's not who I want to be. And it's funny because, um, this is like Bronwyn's kind of like corporate talk that she sometimes leans into. And it's funny because Lisa then borrows it like five seconds later as if it's like Lisa's corporate talk, but like she just steals it. from Bronwyn. But she basically is like, I just, you know, I don't want to, I don't feel the need to defend myself or my life. And if there's a mistake that I need to be accountable for that and I need to be remorseful for that. You know what? I'm accountable for doing the same thing, you know,

like the deliverables. I mean, it made me defensive, you know, but I had a pie chart and John is my everything. He was like all orange and there was only a sliver of blue, which is everything else. And the biggest trigger for me is when someone brings his name up. You know, it's really hard unless they bring up fresh wealth, because that's a big trigger for me too, because you know what, it really is fresh. And wolves are nice animals. So unless you're like in his business or in his bank account, like, it's hard for me to hear anything nasty about him, you know?

And I think at Amy's house, they'd like set me off to a different level. It was like a different level. Yeah, but me saying maybe John is dressed as not the same thing. as you saying, I suck dick for clothes. And that's what I'm saying about a raise to the bottom. You know, raise to the bottom. Yeah, well, a low comment is like never okay. I don't want a race to the bottom.

You ever heard of that, that expression? It's so good. I just made it up. I don't want to make it low comments. Okay, I just don't want to do this. I don't want to raise to the bottom. I'm just like, okay, well, you did just deal raise to the bottom from me, which I took from corporate America.

And when I make a joke to somebody, I think it's, you know, as a friend. And then four years later, you say, you suck dick for clothes. That's not really repeating it the same way I say. said it head nod. That's like twisting it to make it dark and say I don't respect my husband. I'm a whore. Big head not on that one. It's different. It's different. Big head nods. Okay. You know what? I don't think you're a whore. Okay. And I've never said that you're a whore. But that's what the insinuation is when you say I suck dick for money. Well, you know what? It's different when you're married. You know? And I would never call you a

whore. You're not a whore. You're a really slutty girl who got lucky. You know what? And God bless you. She's like, well, okay, here's what I want to do. I don't want to go back and parcel out every single thing. Okay? You've been hurt by the things that were directed at you because they were directed at you. I was directing them at you and they hit you. And so you got hurt.

And I was hurt at the things that were directed at me. And so I'm sorry. So let's be friends. Okay. Let's just, let's just be nice to each other. And she's like, okay, thank you. But you know what? I hear everything you said.

I mean, mostly nods. You just nodded, right? Did you actually say anything because all I can hear is nodding. Like I'm feeling hypnotized, right? Why am I tapping my head? Are you telling me to tap my head while you're nodding? Stop hypnotizing me, slut. Okay, you're racing to the bottom right now.

Okay. So let's just try and move forward, please. Okay, let's not talk about each other's husbands. Okay, we've married two pasty guys that most other people wouldn't touch. Can we just be grateful for that? no more husbands okay okay and uh todd is off limits and so is john full yeah yeah and full stop okay okay so by the way i just want to say i've never said anything about the kids i never i've never said anything about the boys i haven't i don't even know what's going on with jack is he real is that just

like a snowman was that a movie you were talking about that that movie with a snowman who came to life anyway i just hope he's on his way soon home soon that's i hope it's good just yeah jack comes home in like last than two months, it's like so soon. I hope it'll be okay because he's like, he's around so many Michelin's our restaurants. I hope he's okay coming back to Salt Lake City because like that'll be an adjustment for him for sure. Yeah, it's going to be really hard adjusting coming back to Salt Lake City

after spending so much time in Glamour's Colombia. Okay. Well, Gwen's still at home and she graduated. She's not left. She's not left home. Oh, wow, that's good. So how's that? Well, my mom's also living with me right now.

So, yeah, wow. Can I just stay here? Can I stay here? I would actually rather be at Vita Tequila Lounge. I need to make peace with you because I've got a house full of dog shit, my daughter's boyfriend, and his semen everywhere, and my mom's eyebrows terrorizing me while also wearing novelty t-shirts. So I'm just want to know, can I just stay in Jack's room before he gets back from Columbia?

Thank you. Well, my mom was really upset the other day because Gwen and I had a disagreement. She was like, well, I'm sick to my stomach. Oh, do you think it triggered her? Did they trigger her? Yeah, well, she said to me that I think we should be grandparents before we're parents. You know, she was like I'm so much more soft and open-minded with Gwen than I was with you. And it really was an important moment for me for my mom to acknowledge that she's been really hard.

Of course, and she called me a slut and threw a pan at my head and told me that she regretted never seen me again and tried to run me over with the car while I was in the house. Thankfully, it was a weak car. It's a smart car. So it just hit the curb and stopped. But it could have been ugly, Lisa. It could have been ugly. God, I love my mom. God, I'd love her.

Yeah. And which is funny, this whole little story sort of seems to imply that the next time we see Mussey, she might be like kinder and softer because she's sort of having her own epiphanies on the side. So then, which is,

by the way, does not happen. Well, that's kind of what Bronwyn is doing is spending the season trying to convince us that the people in her life don't hate her guts, like Todd and, and Muzzy.

And I think it's kind of a normal thing. you know when you're in a situation where you have such a strong you know judgey personality growing up that you kind of try and compensate like they didn't mean it or they don't it's kind of an abuse thing right like an abusive behavior thing when you deal without a lie you're just like they didn't mean it or they love me surely they meant this other thing and muzies just right there to be like no i didn't mean anything else that's exactly what i said tart tart so uh brawin's like well um you know like I've noticed as I've gotten older, there's things about myself. I hold really rigidly, like everything. And I like to control how people feel about me. And I like to speak for myself. And I don't like anybody else to speak for me. And I want to correct words.

And I'm really just trying to let go of all that. I'm like, really, Rodman, rigid. I would never have noticed by the fact that your lips are purse so tight that they are actually caving into each other and just making one big closed mouth. I will give her credit, though, for acknowledging this. Because if you think about it, there's sort of like an element of Bronwyn that there must be a parallel to like Erica Jane in some weird way in terms of like tough mothers, complicated a relationship with their mothers. And they have this like very big fashion style. They're trying to be like expressive and like be like, this is me and take up space in that way.

But they are both, for as being fun and fabulous as they are, they both are actually very rigid and tough. and the difference is that I feel like Bronwyn has some self-awareness, whereas Erica's like, what is empathy? Erica's just starting to realize certain things, you know? I don't feel nothing for anybody but myself. But then on the flip side, Erica is realizing, you know what, I can just be a villain. And I just will, I will be that.

And it's working out really well for her. Like she's way more entertaining as just this cold ice queen. who's just trying to understand the concept of empathy, whereas Bronwyn, as she says, she's trying to control the way people feel about her. And that's always gonna be a recipe for- They fear off. Like Bronwyn is like, I want everybody to love my husband.

And Erica Jane's like, oh yeah, my husband's a criminal. I'm dating somebody named Baghdad Bob. Fuck all y'all. She doesn't give a fuck. But it did take her a while to embrace that side of herself. I'm so happy for all their dreams. Now they agreed to be friends.

And Lisa's like, yeah, you know what? I'm glad we could have this conversation and no voices were raised. She goes, yeah, no voices were raised. That might be more impressive for you than for me. Because you raised your voices. I'm more cutting. And you're more cutting the cheese. So, yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, I'm more cutting. I hate your guts. Yeah, I hate you too. Okay, please leave. Okay. Have you been evicted yet? Okay. See you soon.

Yep, just me being cutting. Just me being me, right? Okay, you can shout if you want to. I got some cuts in there. Say a hug. It's you forever, patch. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

And now we go to Mary and she's with her cousin, Big Joe, who I think we met a few seasons ago. And they go to her church. Her church is back. And she's taking a look. She's walking around. She sees the portrait of her grandma with Jesus, which is a classic. This, I can't. Every time I see this portrait, I crack up.

It's just her grandma sitting up there. And Jesus is like, hello, welcome. Welcome to heaven. Like, yes, thank you. Taking my rightful place at Jesus' table in heaven, baby. So Mary's like, wow. So they got all the chairs done. Okay, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are all of the chairs done? Are all of the, did the benches all get done? Because wait, wait, there's a nail. Wait, there's a nail sticking out of this. That could, someone could bleed. He's like, oh, that'll stab someone. You really don't miss anything. She's like, yeah, and you miss everything.

You have, like, sir, big Joe, you cannot just leave exposed nails in a pew, okay? That's not, that's some final destination shit. Mary's like, she's like, well, I'm excited to reopen my church. But like, why is her nails sticking out? Like, you did all this renovation and forgot that? He's like, I thought we were going with the whole, like, you come to this church and suddenly you've got. stigmata thing. It's not on your back, Joe. It's not on your back. Okay. So he basically, he's a general contractor and he spent a year doing the floors upstairs basically. And she's like,

yeah, he's family and he milks it for sure. And so they sit down in a non-exposed nail part of the pew. And they're talking about the church. They're talking about Robert, first of all. They're talking about how his first steps were actually up there on the altar and in front of the whole congregation and everyone cheered, which is actually kind of very special. And they talk about him and she's saying that he's doing well, but now that she's like a lot closer with him, like she knows like she knows when he's like falling off the wagon and everything. And Big Joe starts to actually tear up a bit because he feels bad for Robert and stuff like that. Yeah. So then they start talking about her mom because her mom died. I didn't know that

her mom passed away. I did not know that either. So they're talking about how just the way Mary tells these stories. She's like, yeah. And, you know, for some reason, my mom thought she was supposed to take over this church when grandma died. He's like, yeah, I have no idea why she would think that. It's like, yeah, she thought so, but, you know, she, you know, marrying the grand, that was odd to both of us, you know, like he wants to marry me. Like, I mean, he just so paid what mama wanted. That's all he wanted. He wasn't trying to do anything extra. I mean, I just can't believe mom would get so upset that I married my grandma's husband. I just don't get it

I know and then I mean it seems pretty normal to me so fucking loony tunes I know just that it's because I was sitting there and I watch a scene I was like mm-hmm nice scene like it's just going normally and then I was

thinking about it later and I'm like could you think about what was actually being said during that exact same thing I was like sitting there like oh my god her church is back this is so lovely oh my god oh like I can't believe the mom would say that and I was like you know it was like two years ago we're like

what a fucked up like she married her grandfather and she runs a cult and now we're like look at her you know love is love like God I love the new benches and Mary's church no there's no more questions like what happened to that church and what did happen to all these people

who claimed that Mary was you know impoverishing them and making them poor it's like a couple seasons passed by and everything just normalizes like oh my God I know I can't believe anybody got mad at you for marrying your grandfather and stealing this church. Good for you, girl. Good for you. A church that may or may not be our cult, but we're like, you know what? I don't know. I think we just sort of got to a place. We're like, you know what, there's bigger

fish to fry in our lives. Cold smold. Everybody needs somewhere to go after school, am I right? Everyone, every pot has its lid. Okay. So she, she talks about, they both are talking about how her mom really wanted power and I guess it sounded like there was some sort of confrontation that happened at the congregation. Oh, hell, this was good. Yes, the mom showed up to the church during church and was like, this is mine. And like tried to take over the church. And then they called the police on her ass and had her arrested at the church. I mean, that's, that's a crazy shit. And I love how they try to be like polite about it. They're like, well, yeah, I was crazy. I mean, she showed up and then she said what she said.

And then the police were called and they said, who do you want out? And someone was escorted out. It's like, was it the organ player? Who is it? Come on. Give me some hints. Who was it? Oh, my God.

It was the lady in the third row. Oh, I knew she was. Oh, the mom? What? I had no idea. So she is saying, you know, her mom, now it's full circle because she had her escorted out of the church. And now she has been escorted off of the earth, you know? And she's like, yeah, it's full circle.

And I don't know how I feel about it. It's like a roller coaster. You know, it hurts, but it's a close chapter now. And I feel like it was a storm or a battle that I'd been in for all these years because she would put articles in the paper about me. She put lies out there about us. I mean, it was always something telling people that I married my grandfather. I mean, well, that was true.

But still, I mean, just horrible. And so she's talking about how when her mom walked out of her life, she actually has to mourn it all over again because, you know, she was mourning her mom, but I guess there was always a chance that they could make up or something, but, you know, now she's dead. And so she has to kind of remorn her. I have to say, my heart really broke for Mary during this because it just sort of, you know, we've had glimps. She's talked about her mom here and there, and every time it's very sad, but like, you know, she was treated so badly by her mom, it sounds like, when she told stories, the reunion about how they grew up with money, they weren't impoverished, but her mom just like wouldn't buy food for the kids. they just had nothing in the refrigerator

and I just I don't know I just think about like all the hurts that she must feel and like that's it's just brutal and like this like the whole situation is really just completely really breaks your heart and sad yeah it's lunatic because even if

you know no matter what side you take on it because it is salacious like everything that's happened in this story line is completely salacious but even if you take the anti-Mary side of it all the fact that a child was even in the position to marry their grandfather is yeah fucking crazy like what kind of family was you know what kind of family was that that she grew up in so you know whatever

whatever she may be now you know it comes from somewhere and it's but i we know what i love i love that from what we can see that mary really is just like so loving to her son because like that's a cycle that could have continued on and like that she like it's just you know it's just it's sad that like that that Mary just was not receiving love from her own mother like I cannot even imagine

I come from like mother love privilege where I have like lots of love coming from me from my mom and like that like she actually had to go through her life and then now it's just it's always gonna like there never was a resolution not that there had to be but if she was on some level hoping for that that's gone and like that's that is like incredibly tough and um yeah but i'm so happy that she does

not she does not continue that forward and that she shows so much love to her son which is why it's actually also heartbreaking that her son is in such a tough place and she just keeps on trying to pour love into him and uh they have such an uphill battle to go but anyway i was very moved by the scene ultimately particularly the part about the nail and the pew i was like what yeah All right, so let's go over to Angie at Lunatic Fringe. Is it the one or the house? We don't know. Yeah, we don't know.

Let's go from Mary pouring out our heart in the tragedies in her life and contemplating the sadness of certain parental relationships to Heather getting a perm, a test perm at a hair salon. Yeah. So Heather comes over and Angie's like, my cosmetology license lapsed a while ago, so I have to retake tests on mannequin heads.

So what better mannequin head than Heather Gay? Sometimes I literally will knock her on the forehead to make sure she is a real person. You know what I'd love that. I'm not convinced. You know what I'd love about Lunatic Fringe is that whenever they do a scene there,

like, Lunatic Fringe is like an actual sitcom set. Doesn't it look exactly like an NBC sitcom that would on like Saturdays between 2-27 and Golden Girls, like a show about a hair salon, and this is the set, and you enter from the top, but you can also enter from the side. It's just like a, like there is no fourth wall. It's just that's it. They should make it one. I'm surprised it isn't a show yet. They're trying to do everything in Salt Lake City right now. How is there not a lunatic fringe show? Let's write a multi-camp sitcom called Lunatic Fringe, and it takes

place in the salon and like we can have jack we have to cast jackay in it by the way speaking of 227 like jackay is like the the older person who's been doing it forever she comes in she's like oh i am great merry oh mary i'm great i've got some spanish open up for that i just that was not a jack That could be her tagline. Sub-Zinky. That's where Framer entrance. Okay, that's the third time we brought up 227 this week. He doesn't work at Huey Lewis the News.

Oh, no. Now it doesn't count because you said it. You said it. I'm sorry. Lunatic fringes canceled. Just kidding. Back to the drawing board. Back to the drawing board.

Back to our premier view. the tequila idea. Yeah. So Angie is like, she's going to do this test perm. And she's like, oh, you will never believe what happened. I am sitting here with Sean the other day.

And this really cute gal walks in. And I thought she had a hair appointment. And she said, hi. I'm Lisa's assistant. And I said, hello, do you have a hair appointment? And she said, no. Here's what I want from you. I am here to get all the fresh wolf.

products today. And I was like, what? And I was like, is this a joke? And she said no. So I had to go down to the storage room and find the product. It was dusty. I love that. I love that she's got all the product in the storage room, but she's yelling at Lisa that it's not sold. Well, maybe because it's sitting in the storage room for one thing. I can't believe no one bought that shitty product in the storage room. I can't believe. No one said, hey, can I see what products you may have in your storage room? It's a shock. So she goes to get the product. It's been dusty. She packs it. And then the assistant says, Lisa Venmo did you some money for product. I don't want her money, but apparently the Venmo already went through. So she gets a text from Lisa and it says,

$600, Vemmo, son. I can send my cleaners to help you too. Sorry, your salam is so dusty. my salon is not dusty look around look at jack hay station it is clean as a whistle no dust to be found but she literally just said the product was all dusty she's so funny so she's like so i just said you should probably have sent the six hundred dollars to other people that are claiming that you owe them money i didn't say you owed me any money and my salon is not dirty your products are though Because they've been sitting here for two years. So there's that. So then she throws her grenade back.

Well, at least I don't have to borrow money to take vacations and pay it back after using a card I should never have used to begin with. What are you talking about? And aren't you the one being accused of using somebody's Amex card? So now they're going to start fighting over Amex cards that they don't. Everybody in Salt Lake City just has access to an Amex card that's not theirs. also you can't like dis someone for like oh you had to use someone else's money to go on vacation and then you paid them back it's like well if if the if the debt has been paid within the disc it's not really a dis is it yeah what why are we oh wow you're so poor you can't even

afford your own vacation so you went on vacation on someone else's dime and then you paid them back it's like that's very household very acceptable it's like the five where people are like oh my god Do you have a mortgage? Oh. Yeah, it was like on, remember on Southern Hospitality when it was like, did you know that Emmy went

and bought us all uniforms and then she used her own money and then she reimbursed herself. Like, how can't you do that? Well, she used store credits. Remember, like she got store credits for influencing or something and they're like, she pocketed our money

and used her free clothes to get our uniforms. It's like she re-imps, still is like a reimbursement. So, yeah, so they are, so Lisa has now accused Angie of using someone else's credit card that she never should have used in the first place and then paid them back, but solely to go on vacation. So now we understand Jack Hay's role in all of this, huh? Yeah, I have my own shekels. So at that point, I just stopped responding. I am not going to engage with her craziness. Are shekels Greek money?

Just stop to ask. Shekels? I thought shekels were like, I thought that's like Yiddish. It's like, oh, do you have a shekel? I look it up. Shekel. Israeli new shekel. One Israeli new shekel equals like 30 cents.

Oh. Yes. It's a Mesopotamian coin. What is the currency in Greece? It's the hero. Never mind. What about the old Greek currency? The drachma

The drachma There you go I knew it was something fun One was it like Cisterity Cisterity I don't know Look up old old

I have a lot of like How far can we go back I have a lot of board games That takes place in ancient Greece And it's always like Use one Cicesty or whatever Yeah I just see The drachma

Ancient Greek Yeah it was through the Hellenistic period Up to the Roman period Yeah, the drachma. Isn't that what you said? It was just my, yes, and the original thing said drachma was the currency from 1833 until like the euro came around. But now it's saying also it was ancient Greek.

So like lots of drachma. Yeah. Well, now it is an American Express card from Greece with a Greek flag. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for. for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like

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