Watch What Crappens - #3031 RHOM S7E19 Part 1: To All the Haitian Morticians I Loved Before

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapWe open with a newsbreak. Wendy Osefo was arrested! Part 2 of The Real Housewives of Miami reunion finds Julia trying to make a storyline out of patting Adriana’s fyah, but a laundry list of the other people she’s cheated with muddies the waters. Also, there’s a heart stopping gift presented. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Good. Everybody, welcome to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2. Here we go. Very big day. If you want to watch us on video, you find Crappins on Demand at patreon.com. It's also where you find our bonus episodes. This week, we did some online shopping together.

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And that's it. Are you ready for this completely bonkers day? I am absolutely ready for this Miami Reefo. oh no oh what what is happening oh it's a press conference what could it be what could be what could be happening in the world wait looks it looks like it looks like um wendy acefo is coming to a podium to discuss something uh dr wendy what what happened what what is what's the announcement here i have been wrongfully oested um seven counts of foad 16 charges to something or other, something

about Birkenbag saying they were stolen. They were stolen, okay? They were stolen. I don't know why they're coming after me. Yes. Wendy and Happy Eddie were arrested, Ed. Arrested Ed. Arrested. Yes, this is shocking. I woke up, I woke up to this.

they were, there's the first thing I wrote when I woke up. I'm not even joking. There was an email. I looked at it. I was like, Wendy and Eddie arrested, booked on criminal fraud charges. Apparently, the long and the short of it is that last year, they claimed they were robbed. I don't remember if we discussed this on happy hour, a crappy hour or not. I think maybe we did.

It was this minor headline that Wendy and Eddie were robbed of about $20,000 or $26,000 of, like, jewelry or whatever. And then they were arrested today because it turns out the jewelry was not stolen, but it was returned from where it was purchased. So now both of them have been arrested for insurance fraud and reporting a false, false burglary. Well, first the ring, she said some of her jewelry was, and by the way, this is all information we're getting from TMZ and stuff. So who knows. But so far what we know is, yeah, what you said, that they were robbed. They said all this stuff was stolen. It was a lot of Birkenbags and jewelry.

There was a picture of her wearing the ring that she said was stolen in a post after, which is not very smart, Wendy. It also reminds me of Kyle Richards when Kyle Richards was like, oh, I got all this jewelry stolen. And people were like, you're still wearing that jewelry. And she's like, I had it remade. And really, it was all that. And then she thought she saw her mom's ring on a boardwalk of a psychic,

like a psychic on a boardwalk. She saw the ring and was accusing the psychic. of stealing the ring i mean something crazy but anyway that was then this is now um so apparently she was wearing this ring that she said was stolen in a post and that a bunch of burkin bags and stuff that she claimed were stolen she had returned to the stores and gotten receipts for these purchases it's pretty crazy uh the amount is god it's like 450 000 they claim claimed like 450 000 and stolen stuff so that's pretty big Yikes.

Yikes. I had read another number. I know this is crazy. I read another number that said 20,000, but maybe that was a different thing. But that was from a different article. It doesn't matter. The point is, this is wild. I am actually genuinely shocked because I just, I did not see this happening with these two.

Call me naive. I always felt like they talked up, she always talked up a big game. Like, I never believed that Happy Eddie was like as successful as she always claimed it was. And like really, it was just like four or five days ago that she's on the premiere saying like happy Eddie is doing so well that like they're going to be, you know, looking to do, you know, they're going to expand in other states. And wow, they have money. And so to see that these two who are like, I don't know, I just, it seemed like these two actually, despite the fact that like Wendy would like often embellish things, it seemed like these two really had their head on their shoulders. And I wasn't just did not. not see crime as part of their timeline. I didn't either. I was, no, I was completely shocked. And listen, I think everybody should get arrested.

I'm never shocked when the housewife gets arrested. I'm surprised how many haven't been arrested. Like, how are Doret and P.K. still walking around? I don't believe Kyle Richards either and all of her burglaries and tetties and all of that. There's like so many weird burglaries that I just, I've never really completely bought that I'm surprised that most of them aren't in jail. But this one, I was actually very surprised.

I didn't believe it. I saw it. The first thing I saw in the morning like you, because we're housewives people. So, of course, our texts are inundated. You know, the tags were inundated with this news. And I clicked on it. And of course, the first place I went was Reddit, because, you know, that's my Bible. And so I went on there and I saw, and I did not believe it.

The pictures look fake. I mean, the pictures, Wendy, they both look high as fuck, first of all. They look like someone. to pick them up in the middle of the night they were watching you know the ed gain show and laughing their asses off you know monster or whatever just laughing their asses off high on their own supply they look crazy wendy's smiling like the joker yeah she's take some lessons from countess luand though like countess luand is like still the high watermark for like mug shots not just for bravo but like maybe for society like that countess lewam mugshot was continues to be perfection

Wendy is more like There's it feels like like the movie poster for smile I'm like uh oh Is something gonna attack me now? Yes yes I love like people are actually making movie posters of smile With Wendy on the cover which is really far they a lot of me Yes a lot of memes going oh wow that's so funny I didn't even see that Yeah it's just it's a lot it's a lot I don't believe it and Eddie just looks stoned as fuck I mean he really

Yeah crazy So this was, I will say it does look good for their weed because, you know, one of the side effects for weed can be paranoia. I mean, I don't even smoke weed anymore. I'll take a gummy occasionally or whatever. But I used to be a huge pothead. I mean, every day, multiple times a day, for years and decades. And I kind of slowed down on that. And then when I went back to it, I got the paranoia back again so strong.

And I don't think that they have that in the Happy Yeti strain because these two look high as fuck. they are enjoying the hell out of this. They look like this is the funniest night of their life. So I'm hoping that there's been some kind of mistake, obviously, because Wendy can be an obnoxious asshole sometimes. But I think ultimately she's funny and she's earned her place on this show. And I really like having someone have the high ground on a housewife show. And I feel like she's got the high, she's had the high ground for a long time where she can

She's on high ground right now. But I've enjoyed her judgey moral high ground. So I hate to see her lose it. I actually hate this for them. I had a few like immediate thoughts. First of all, I mean, this is bravos. We have to come on to on this. Wendy, yes, her smile looks a little crazy.

She looks like she's 24. Like great. Like who knew that a mugshot lighting was really like her best friend? I mean, she looks so young. Second of all, I felt so natural. like really she looks great we know we all know she's had a million surgeries because she did it on the show you know she came back with a million surgeries um but i mean they've really settled i mean she looks great i um in fact she looks so young that when i saw these pictures i thought oh is this

like an archival arrest that they just dug up that's how old that's that's how young i thought she looked i did think about i felt like we're actually genuinely like i felt really bad gutted for those kids like i felt like i mean really just that my heart broke for them because this is not easy for the you know for kids and then um then i then i thought of wendy's mom and i was like oh man when first i thought sus her susan's her name right she was i was like oh she's gonna destroy wendy and then i thought what if wendy's mom is actually the one behind this like what if wendy's mom is the one who like returned the stuff and they're taking the fall for wendy's mom because i'm not going to rule that on out either i feel like wendy's mom would be like i'm the

mother you go to jail for your mother after everything i did for you she has all the purses she's like sitting on the couch is made out of burkin banks um yeah i don't know i'll bet the mom blames eddie's mom though oh a hundred percent i have to say i have a question i have a question oh were you arrested because you stole wicks are you a wick stealer candle stealer hello this is garen huger i'm here to make my first post jail appearance here at this for instance, I just would like to say that to Wendy, Jill, it's not for the, it's not for the small wict. If you've got three wicks, you're never going to survive.

You're going to need five wicks to get through the pen, to get through the henhouse, to get through Sing, Sing. So good luck to you because it's not going to be easy, Wendy. Oh, man. Crazy. Well, I guess we'll have to see what happens. I'm assuming all the camera people in Potomac are scrambling this morning, getting over to Wendy's house.

Oh my God, seriously. they really they really have their hands full over there in that county i'm not going to lie so so the headline that the email that i saw this morning someone has sent us an email that forwarded an a an article and so the the headline the article said real house live star husband charged in maryland with fraudulently reporting burglary theft i'm not going to lie my first thought was well won dixon i was like this has got to be won dixon you know he's like i was like down on his luck you know i think he's does he is he coaching or whatever so in my mind i was like it's probably someone who's like not on the show anymore they're scrambling so i thought won dixon um i don't know if there was

anyone else that i like maybe i didn't i didn't feel like it would be chris samuels i feel like christmas has a lot of money so in my mind i was like oh yeah this is going to be a won dixon story and then to see that it was wendy and eddie i was chukakoked shock so i was chakot well the whole situation is chukta so i guess you know what? We're just going to have to wait and see what happens. Okay. Maybe it's been a big misunderstanding. Who can't wait to see this play out on Potomac? It's going to be great. And you know what's going to be great about it? Karen is like, I'm off the hook. So next season of Potomac,

it's going to be a doozy. I'm already excited. Yes. Wow. Well, okay, well, here we go. That's not the only thing happening in the world. Real House was Miami Part two had one of the best reunions ever ever all time probably right I watch no it was a hundred percent I like I was I don't think I've ever laughed as much through a reunion episode as as I did last night I was like this is one of the classics this is one of the funniest ones this is it's like there's no use proselytizing while we're doing the Miami recap because most people who don't watch Miami. I'm assuming you're not listening to our Miami recap. But if for some chance you just are listening and you don't watch Miami, like you like the way that you were missing out is

is so deep and so hard. Because this reunion episode, like we don't even deserve this reunion episode. It was it was just that funny. It was that amazing. Really, really solid, solid work all around. And I just like that there are so many things that would traumatize other housewives and make it, like, they could be such victims about it. I mean, Adriana basically just got outed, first of all. Like,

you can't, like, we're in 2025. You're not supposed to be outing people, you know, like stuff like that. There's like a lot

that people could be victims over and they're not. They're just like, you know what? No, fuck you. Okay? You fucked with a Haitian mortician.

And had to buy him a coffee maker. Like, there were just so many. There were just so. many moments like, did you have sex? No, I don't have a dick. The way also that they would cut to various women on the sofa's laughing, like Alexia would laugh or Stephanie was like losing, was dying with laughter. It was like an old fashioned sitcom with like a laugh track, you know, like the reason why you have a laugh track there is like when you're watching, it's like,

oh, that was funny. It's like, oh yeah, other people found that funny too. And now it's even funnier to me. And like, that's kind of how this episode was. Like every time I saw them laughing, I would just start to laugh too because it was like contagious for me. No one can keep a straight face. And you've got both sides of the couch, right? You've got each side of the couch is on one side, right? There's like Team Adriana on one side. And then you've got Team Gertie on the other, I mean, not team Gertie. It's more like Team Julian and team anti-Julia. Yeah, you've got Team Julie on the other side. And the teams are trying to fight for their team, right? So whenever something would happen, you know, where Julie was accused of something, they

No, no, no, no, like, like, that's not true like, but what about it do you like? And then same for Adriana. Her people would come find it. But the things that were coming out of both Julia and Adriana's mouths were so crazy that even their teams had to be like, wait. What? Like, they had to keep stopping in the middle of their defense because it was too crazy. Like, how am I standing up for this person right now?

It was, it was so remarkably funny. Like, it was, like, these are these moments where I get like, on my soapbox about like these shows are brilliant. These shows are so deeply hilarious. And you know, like they deserve more respect by like wider pop culture. And Liner, we don't need- Nobel Peace Prize.

We're at the Nobel Peace Prize for these ladies, you know? Yes. We're fighting over the Nobel Peace Prize over there. And it's like, give it to them. And I, you know, I have to say, I have to really applaud Andy's growth as a reunion moderator over the past like 15 years. Because what's so funny is that someone will make a claim.

I'm just like, I don't have a specific example here, but I'm going to try to make one up. And Andy has now become someone who's so good at a deadpan question where like if Adriana is like, she had to give him a coffee maker, and you'll be like, wait, wait, wait, the coffee maker, what time for coffee maker was it? Like some bullshit question with a straight face that is like a troll question. He does it so often.

And like, he's just become so good at that. I know there's so many questions he could ask, and he's like, wow, coffee, huh? Like, what kind of coffee make? All right, well, let's get into it because there's a lot to unpack here, as Andy would say. So we pick up where we left off, which is where Julie is like, Andy, I know something that you don't know, but Adriana knows. I would like to bring clarity. In the Hamptons, Adriana and I slept together. Don't, don't, don't.

Everyone's like, what? And Adriana just starts laughing her ass off. And then after, she said, wait a minute, you're married, you're married. Lisa Hawke's team. How could you? Lady. I already knew that this, what Julia was saying was true by Adriana's strange laugh. Because Adriana is a queen of like, I didn't do that.

I didn't say that like that's 100% what she does. So the fact that like she had no response for this. So she had to do like a like a casual laugh like, oh, this is ridiculous. I was like, okay, Adriana's bus said this 100% happened. And in fact, we know what happened. Gerti's just saying we know what happened. It's not really denied.

Yeah, no, no. Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's the Bo Clinton thing. Like what is sex? Yeah. You know, what is it? What is it really? Depends what the definition of is. Yeah, what's the definition of it is.

So Gertie's like, wait. Does she mean, like, sleeping? Like, sleep, sleep? Or does she mean, like, like, what kind of sleeping? This could be, like, I need clarity. I need clarity. You mean, like, sex, like sex or like sleeping a bed?

Like sex like? Like sex like? Yes, Andy. But what if, if someone's not a basketball player, is it considered sex still like? But was it just like with feet like? Because that doesn't, like count like. Like, I feel like feet doesn't count.

Like, like. Although you can count. on your feet like i do that on my videos like so and he's like and he's like so you do slept together during the cast trip to the hamptons four years ago so we see a flashback to 2021 and the scene where adriana got naked and the bathtub and everything and they were all over each other that whole trip and feeding each other and getting each other up against walls and kissing each other and um yeah so we see all that and And Kiki's like, wait, was it after the engagement?

Oh, not. It was before our friend engagement. It was before. So now we see the flashback of the friend engagement of her being like, Adriana Demora, promise me, you will be my best friend forever. And everybody clapping. And so it was before the friend engagement. And Lisa's like, make it make sense.

I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I still am. Oh, please. You're so embarrassed. you just adopted two little boys and have your wife over there taking care of them and then come on national TV and talk about how you've been fucking around. Are you nuts? Aren't you crazy? What is wrong with you? Well, I actually, it's funny because I believe this. I kind of believe both of

them, honestly. I think they both are telling the parts of the story that best served them. I do believe that they hooked up. I do believe it made things weird. I do believe Adriana became, I do 100% believe Adriana is the type that would say, you know, if you be friends, be friends with Alexia, I'm going to tell everyone that this happened. Like, I 100% believe that. But I, and so I, I can imagine that that is something. But I also believe Adriana that Julia probably did have some other affairs going on. I mean, what no one brought up, which I was shocked about, was that it was like two seasons ago when Lars is like, my friend like, Julia saw you like kissing and mad like and hotel like.

I was like, we've already had this storyline, in fact. So I was surprised they didn't circle back to that. I was too, actually, because yeah, that makes that seem a lot more true these days. So Julia's like, by the way, Martina knows, why are you bringing it up then? Why are you bringing it up? No one has to even know that. What are you doing?

Like, what are you going to do? Like, hire her a vocal coach and try to make her an American Idol star, Now, Lenny! Because that's what Lenn is up to with his newest Russian, that he's procured for himself. He's got her vocal lessons and posting on Instagram videos of her. Great. She's just like, oh my God. A sats they love.

It is a river. It's my song. Singing the rose. We'll just have everyone seen the rose this year. It's time for. a commercial it's time for a crappence commercial so julia's like for one reason i was living in mental psychological abuse by adriana for two years and gritty's like oh you guys are like being very insensitive because because gertie lisa and adrianna just like laugh at like oh

this is ridiculous oh please oh please julia walking around sticking your tongue down everybody's throat all the time doing this stuff on camera all the time. I'm so sure you were mentally and psychologically abused. Give me a fucking break. Well, this is where Julia loses it because I think for sure Adriana made her life hell about it. I don't doubt that at all. But like where Julia should, Julia should have told the story and said, I'm bringing this up because this was this was a mistake on my part to go down this path with Adriana. And it made our friendship forever weird. And we tried to act like it was fine, but it wasn't. And introduced an element of intimacy that got in the way of the friendship and it snowballed.

And now this is where we are now. Like, that's what she should have said. But instead she's like, we made out. And now I'm abused. It's like, oh, no. Like, for sure, say that Adriana held it over your head. But like you're, it's like, it's like, you can't really take anyone's side, I feel like, because you see them say one thing that feels like the truth.

And then they say bullshit at the same time. I take sides. I take Adriana's side for sure on this. I don't believe Julia for two seconds. We've seen Julia come on to every single person on this show, try to make out, try to make it that she's like having sex with multiple people all the time. That's like her vibe on the show. And that doesn't mean that those kind of people, I'm not, I guess that can sound problematic.

It's not that nothing could happen to her. But we've seen, like the clip we just saw of her and Adriana in the Hamptons, it does not look like she's trying to make it sound like she was in a bad place with martina and adriana took advantage of her is what she's yeah see that i don't like i didn't like that at all that's where it's going off the rails for me she's like trying to make herself like this super victim of this super predator adriana which if we've seen anybody with predator vibes it's julia on this show well i don't i don't know necessarily about predator vibes but what i do think though is that julia sort of like leaning into like i was you know manipulated or that she's like

a victim in the situation. I don't think either of them are really a victim. I think they're just both consensual. Predators are the strong word. I guess I'm saying it in alien. Alien versus predator. You know what I mean? She's trying to make Adriana sound like a predator. And I'm just saying like if anyone's been aggressive

sexually on this show with people who weren't into them, it's you. Well, I think that yeah, no, I think that basically Adriana at least hires her people from France for a few weeks. I know for a day player for one episode. Um, no, I, I, I, trying to help them get their after cards. Okay. I, I, I agree. I think that like, I believe Julia that it happened. Um, I don't think she's coming on TV and opening this can of worms, um, knowing how it could actually really massively impact her relationship with Martina also, which is, Martinez is not only the relationship, but it's also a lifestyle. Let's not forget that. And, uh, I don't think she's in parallel.

that unless like this really happened personally unless she's really unless she's really out there unless she's really gone girling this but i i think that i think that should that part is true but i agree i think that like there's not there is a lot of talk from her about like i was she was taking advantage of me i mean you were taking advantage of adriana too like you guys were both probably in a rough place in your life i mean i don't know i this is where julia loses because she doesn't really wholeheartedly stand in this admission she like uses she announces this admission but then then tries to make herself seem like like she was it's not just we slept together she sort of takes herself out of me right it's not we just

slept together and you you you know used it against me it's you know you knew how vulnerable I was I was grieving the departure of my daughters you know my marriage had trouble big trouble and you did this to me and she's like oh yeah I did it to you right right but I trusted you and I felt like I was must by Adriana. I was ashamed of myself. I was scared. She controlled my life. She controlled my friendships with the women in the group. And I'd like that Adriana's defense is like, because you were supposed to be on my side. Like yeah, like she's her her view is of course I was trying to get you to stay on my side. You're supposed to be on my side. I didn't have to blackmail you. I was literally telling you you're supposed to be my friend. Yeah. And then Andy's like,

So you were worried she was going to tell Martina are the women. Yes, because she was blackbelly me with this. She kept telling me, you're here because of me. You owe your paycheck to me. She was going to tell goats. I was so scared. So you are here because of her. And you do owe your paycheck to her.

She got you on the show. And last week when she was saying, no one would have ever find you in that shitty place you lived, wasn't she referring to the farm where she found her? I mean, you were in the middle of nowhere. She brought you on to this. she brought you onto this TV show to give you something to do. I think that she can say that stuff without blackmailing you over sexual stuff, in other words. What I'd love is that Adriana then is like, I gave you the opera idea, everything, everything, as if the opera thing is somehow like a benchmark of Julia's success.

Like, Adriana, I don't know if I would brag about that on the reunion that you gave Julia the idea to follow opera. It has not really been a true success on anyone's ears or an. anyone's hearts. Yeah. Yeah. Don't brag about the brain damage you're doing to the rest of us by inflicting that vocal performance on us. Please.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Both versions of my brain are saying, hold on. You slept with Julia at the Hamptons? Andy.

Andy's like suddenly just processed what's happening. So Adrian is like many times. It's like, oh, well, you say many times. Well, I mean many of us because we're in the same bed. It was sleeping in the same bed. What does this mean? What does it mean? Wait, did you have sex with her in the Hamptons?

And she goes, no, I don't have a dick. I can't have sex, which everybody, Andy literally face palms. Like, lesbians can have sex. People, women have sex with each other. You can't ask sex without a dick. And she goes, not really. Not really. Oh, okay.

Okay. So obviously it's true, right? So then Stephanie's like, It's called scissoring. Marr's all like, oh, I know, I mean, God. And he's like, okay, you did not sleep with her in the Hamptons. No, we slept, we kissed, but that was about it. It's like, okay, so you kissed, yeah?

No, but I never scissured anybody. He's like, I never scissured anybody. Love that. I never scissored. I don't like pussy, Andy. I'm not your girl, okay? Adriana, you never blackmail me? You never blackmail me.

you never forgave me and she's like never blackmail you i'm very blunt you know what and you never said i'm going to say oh you know what it is do you know why you feel this little because you're an imposter you're a fraud and you have imposter syndrome so you're trying to pretend something that you're not okay itriana you just wanted to invite me what's your real name what's your real name ask her real name because i don't change my name i don't change my name your real name is Yulia. There. There. Her name is Yulia. She has changed the pronunciation of her name in America. Imposter. Andy, can I take this Lavalier microphone off of my dress and drop it on the ground? Because that's what that was. Mike dropped, Yulia, Yulia. He's like, what is your point? My point is that everybody changes their name.

My point is we have a spy in this room. We have a spy. And her name is Yulia. It's like, well, excuse me, changing your name from Yulia's, Julia, it's like, but my point is I could say my name is Adrienne. I could be an Adrienne. Yeah, but she's not like she changed her name from like Sally, you know, that would have been traumatic. Are there still people named Sally? Hey, why do you change her name then, Yulia? Why do you change it? He's like, I would like to know, Mary Saul, what's your reaction?

I love that he doesn't even care. He's just like, Mary Saul, what's here? Because he doesn't know what to do. And there's kind of silence. So, Marisol, what's your opinion? She's like, I, there's me, me, God. I have to answer this. Listen, I believe a lot of things.

Okay, one night or what happens. It could happen. I've tried it so many times with Dick. Didn't really happen there. But with other people, sure could. All right. Well, do you believe Adriana, who you've no longer than most people in this room, who would hold that over, would hold that over her in some way.

And she's like, oh, probably. All right. Well, who here believes that Adriana and Julia had an affair? So everyone on Julia side raises their hands, but everyone on Indiana side keeps her hands down. I look, Stephanie gets her, she puts her hand up, but Stephanie is also like doubled over tears coming out of her eyes laughing. I mean, she is. But we're, we're, I was watching this with Dom and, and Dom, and Dom,

at one point turn and he goes every time that lady in green starts to laugh i lose it i was like yep but wait wait an affair is a long time so was it sex or was it an affair okay not a fair or do you believe they had sex and so they're you know they they all believe it basically so then larz is like i mean lisa come on lisa why aren't she raising your hand like lisa like come on lisa like she's like now no no this is what i think you're the married one and she's not so how so come on and i agree Julia, you're trying to like point the finger at her. You're the married one. She didn't cheat on anybody.

But Alexia's like, no, no, no. Because she had an affair with the married woman. So she's just as bad. She's just as bad. Alexia does a lot of the nose up in the air work in this reunion. They're nodding with her head up in the air. Yeah. So then Kiki is like, okay, I have to say something.

A lot of people I'm hearing say, but you're married. But listen, guys, some people they marry her and they have open relationship. their spouses know they sleep or they cheat and they tell their spouses what they did. Okay, does she know, does Martina know? Or is she going to be surprised that she's got some Russian singing, you know, Whitney Houston songs on Instagram suddenly. That's how she finds out. I don't know who this Whitney Houston is, but I told Martina six months ago, maybe it was eight months ago. But like not when it happened.

Well, hold on. Does Martina know that you were going to say this tonight? Is she mad? Do we want to get her on, face him? Yes, she does know. Of course, it was all planned. She's like, yes. Well, she cried.

She cried very hard. Well, and when she cried, it's really more like she took tennis ball at wall, and then went out for many hours and came back with a smile on her face and said that she tracked on Chris Everett and threw a racket at her head and made her feel all better. Yeah, this whole Julia trying to speak. making moral high ground, trying to have the moral, like, yes, of course I've talked to Martina about. You just talked to her six months ago about something that happened four years ago. Stop acting so high and mighty. So she's like, yeah, she cried and why did she say it tonight?

And she's like, because there's just so many misconceptions. I cannot speak my truth. This changes nothing. You were close with her way after that thing in the Hamptons happened. You turned on her this year when you became close with the other ladies. It doesn't change any of that. It doesn't matter your hoo-haws, your hoo-haws twiddled. I think it does, actually. I think, but she's just losing her case because she's not presenting it properly. I think it changes because it's like, we all know. We know, like, when friends have sex, like, it's, this is the basis of so many, like, rom-coms and stories, whatever, like, things get weird afterwards. Not always. Sometimes it's fine. But, like, it is something that happens. And, like, clearly things got

weird and they were they were close afterwards but like you know something was there that was not addressed and it was a lie that Julia had that she had not told Martina like this is it's going to eat away and there's going to be problems and eventually Julia's probably not going to want to have to face her guilt about what she did so she's going to want to move away from Adriana and move towards the other women like it actually to me does shed some light on how it happened the problem is that Julia is not really accepting her role in that she's not really saying she's not being accountable for like, I, every time I saw Adriana, it reminded me of how I betrayed Martina and it was hard for me. And so I, I sort of drifted away from her. And on top of that,

she was also being really possessive of me, which was also unpleasant. Like, that's all she really had to say. And I think so many people would have gotten it. Well, I don't buy any of that, though. Like you said, she's doing it all, I think she's doing it all sanctimoniously here. And it's not right. I don't buy anything. Like, the way that you're, you're saying it, I think makes a lot of sense. but I just don't believe it because it's Julia. And we see how Julia acts with everybody, how she's flirty, how she's constantly big. I think Adriana was doing this stuff on camera.

She was basically fucking her up against the wall on camera. We just saw it in the clips. They were like kissing. They were doing this friend engagement. They were doing like, you showed me what love is, that whole speech. They were doing this whole thing on camera. So I don't think that Adriana would have taken that as like an affair. I think she would have taken it as like this chick is like always,

She's very sexual. She's very sexual with all of her friends and other people because obviously we find out later that Adriana knows a lot of other people that Julia has had sex with. So I think Adriana probably looked at it as like this is somebody who's in kind of an open or a loose relationship. And I don't really think it's that big of a deal. I think if Adriana really thought, oh, I'm fucking over Martina Navratilova right now, she would have been a little more subtle about it and not just so out about it. So I think Julia probably fucked around with Adriana so she could hold it over Adriana's head and say shit like this. Like, oh, Adriana's just crazy. She's so in love with me.

You know, we, you know, blah, blah, blah. Julia's the one entrapping everybody into these weird situations. And then now she's going to come back and make it like, oh, I'm the victim here and I was entrapped into this situation. No, you were the one like forwarding all of these situations. And I think that she's probably using something like that to look like a victim now. that's how I actually I don't trust that you do as far as I can throw her well that's that's a whole separate issue I which I agree with I I don't think either of them entrapped each other and I I agree I think that Adrianna probably thought that this was like sort of an open thing or whatever it's like oh whatever commercials here comes one right now my issue was not about whether or not they were having an affair or like whether or not like Adrian is at fault because they, like, slept together.

I don't think it's, I think they were consenting adults. And I, and I think the worst, the, the, the, I think Julia as someone being in a relationship where it was not open, like that, like, she is the one who, who, who had the infraction, but I'm just saying, like, regardless of whatever the context was, like, it's going to just make their relationship weird. And it's going to, like, give insight. The reason why it changes things for me is it just, it just gives me more insight as to why, the two of them fell apart, you know?

And so I guess I would argue that I don't think it made things weird because I think that it was just like normal for being friends with Julie. I think it was normal in that friendship for them to be very sexual with each other. I don't see like how them kissing and doing all the stuff that they were doing on camera, how patting someone's puss is really that much different. I mean, unless she's saying they were having like a full on affair or something behind Martinez's back, which isn't what she's saying. She's saying they were like lightly fooled around one night.

Because even Julia can't answer the questions later. I mean, it sounds like they just basically had a light fooling around night wasted that we saw, even on camera, we saw them waking up together. Even if it's just that, though, even if it's just that, if it's something that she didn't feel comfortable telling Martina for two years, that's going to, in my mind, that's going to cause some shit. Like, that's going to, that's going to cause. Except that it was all on camera. Most of, most of this stuff was on camera. Like, Martina would have been so completely uncomfortable just seeing the way they were kissing and doing all that stuff on. On TV, on national TV.

But you know what, though? I don't think it's like a huge step that they like actually had to have the first moment. I don't know if this was. Honestly, okay, I'll say this. My takeaway from all the back and forth and sort of the the dodges and whatever, I kind of got the impression that they ate each other out. Like that's what I, that's sort of what I, or at least one of them did. Like I kind of got that that impression. So it was like to me a little bit more than just like the on TV.

flirtations or whatever i sort of got the impression that it was like maybe it wasn't sex like adriana said but like i was like i feel like it was something actually it might not even be eating out but there could be like some fingering or whatever but i got the sense that there was something a bit more than just like what we saw on tv i guess i don't know the point is the way that julia and adriana have been acting on camera for four years now is like girlfriends they have been act they've been acting in a way that if i was with julia and i was worried about that i would be very hurt already okay i would be like why are you acting like this with another woman on tv it's fucking gross and it's disrespectful and it's rude so whatever they've been doing on camera whether

it's sex whatever whatever happened the way they've been acting so far has been totally out of bounds if i was in a relationship with that person i would be like what the fuck is going on So I think my only point is I don't think it's a big deal because one little step further isn't much more disrespectful than they've already been acting. They've already been acting so so completely disrespectfully that I don't think it would be that big of a deal if they like hooked up drunkenly one night, lightly. You know what I mean. It might not be a big deal. That's me. And maybe it's coming from like a gay man who sees like kind of openish relationships constantly where there are certain rules in the.

relationship where you know if you do this you're going too far and I can see that maybe she took it like a step further than she was supposed to but I just don't I just don't see it I think it's the lie Julia would have hooked up with Adriana to anybody but I think it's the lie I think it's that Julia like kept it inside for those like so matter even if all they did was just like spoon if Julia felt like she couldn't tell Martina for two years because she felt like she had done something wrong, whether or not it was light or like consistent with what we see on TV. I feel like

the fact that she was holding on to something on the inside, to make it's insight why she started to move away. And I think that she also, like, Adriana, like it would also like not surprise me if Adriano was like, you know, I'm going to tell. Like that she was totally like

Adriana. I believe I can understand. And I'm not and this is not. Yeah, I believe that they can. Yeah. And this is not me being like, oh my God, team Julia. I'm just saying like for me, like this does give me more insight about things and I think that like I also can see Julia like Adriana doing that and it's like rubbing Julia the wrong way and I also see Julia as someone who does not fight her own battles

and so she gravitates towards Alexia Marisol because she knows that they're going to like basically say the things for Julia that she's not going to say herself so like I sort of see it as like a tangled web but ultimately I can't buy it with Julia because Julia's cheated multiple times and listen to when she talks about it today when later, which we'll get to, this is going to be a 10-hour recap, but later when we get to it,

and she's had multiple affairs and listen to what she says when she admits it. She's like, but we were in a bad place. I was very hurt. So I don't think it's a big deal at all that Julie had an affair. And I don't think that she would have been worried, this worried about it, because she's done it a million times. I don't think, I don't think that this one would be like, oh my God, she was black mailing me. I mean, personally, but I think we'll just have to agree to disagree because I just think that like if you're with Julia, you know she's going to be fucking 20 other people. And if you've forgiven it three times, you're going to forgive it a fourth. So that's an interesting point. So you're basically saying like you don't think like

Julia, this is sort of like it's almost like a Jack's Taylor kind of thing where like Jacks doesn't really harbor any guilt. Like this is just who he is. And I'm not saying that she is Jacks, but like she doesn't harbor any guilt. So it's not going to eat away at her because she's not burdened by. Oh, that's interesting. Just cheating all the time. I mean, even when Andy later is saying, okay, so what she's following him trying to be like, Andy, Andy, you know, this, I was so hurt and this and that. And he's like, so did you sleep with the Haitian? And she's like, TBD. He like, she has no guilt.

Like she's on TV completely humiliating her wife. She doesn't give a fuck. She's trying to get points over someone she's having fights with and trying to make them look like some abusive stalker when Julia is cheating all the time and obviously has no guilt about it. So I just don't believe that she's sitting at home like, oh, my God, what's Martina going to think about this? I just also, L.O.L. Martina crying at home, Julia's coming, like, coming onto a platform and saying crazy things when Martina's the one who, like, has said so many inappropriate stuff on Twitter. So by the way, Martina, what goes around comes around. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's a whole other can of worms to go after Martina's stupidity. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so I'm not really crying for Martina either way. But I do think.

it's like pretty crazy that she just forced martina into this adoption situation with these kids and now martina is stuck at home taking care of these kids while julia's out like talking about how she's fucked half the half the city like oh my god lord so anyway julia is like well i need you to know that i did not teach my best friend for any of my new friends i wanted all of us to be together despite the horrible secrets they had the disgusting hideous secret that i that i made out with swab monster who happens to be very old adriana and it's like okay hobber secret so many secrets despite being repressed by adriana and feeling guilty i feel guilt and that is why i could not have you as godmother because i felt ashamed

oh bullshit bullshit julia bullshit spy julia do you remember how atrianna pointed her finger at me And she said, I'm going to say it. You're not going to like it. And then we see unseen footage from their fight at Stephanie's show jaw Christmas party where Adriana is saying, don't make me go there because I will break the fourth wall. And it is not going to be pretty. It's going to be bad for you. So don't go there.

And she's like, I'm not scared. She goes, okay, but I'm not scaring you. I'll tell the truth. You know what the truth is. And I don't want to throw you under the bus like this. But if you keep pushing me, I will. So we see that Adriana. was threatening to release some information.

So what was it? And by the way, even if it's not about this hookup, we see that Adriana is definitely that person who does that. Like, she's definitely that person says, be careful, otherwise I'm gonna like, I'm like stay in line. Otherwise, I'm gonna reveal the truth about something about you, you know?

Well, welcome to us. Don't I've got a lot in my vault. I've got a lot in the vault. Okay, well, is that what you referred to? Well, I was thinking one of the many times. I was thinking she was going to say something. Marisol was like, honestly, you felt he had to, you had to say it first, get ahead of the story. I worked in PR. I got it. She's like, no, I'm going to treat you the way you treat me. Okay. So basically, Julia's saying,

she's saying this tonight because she thought, I think she got spooked by that comment that Adriana was going to announce this on stage. So she's like, I'm going to beat Adrienne to the punch. And I will say it first. But I do like this because Audraena is like, no, no, the I would never say that because I'm not that person because I would not destroy your marriage. Okay. I love Martina. I respect Martina. She's my only artist in my gallery.

Okay. And those boys. I wasn't going to destroy your household. And Gertie's like, yeah, she didn't. She didn't do it. She didn't. Which, by the way, that's an admission on it, Adriana's part, right? Like her saying, I was never going to say anything about it because I love Martinez.

So it did happen. I don't think there's any doubt that they did it, right? I mean, do you have any doubt? I have no doubt. But Adriana was acting coy like they did nothing. And, like, obviously they did enough of something that Adriana is saying that she would never want to hurt Martina with it. Yeah. So, Adriana is like, well, I'm not that person.

But since you brought it up, now it's on the table. And she was in the bad place. She was in the bad place. So bad place. Yeah. She was cheating on Martina with a Haitian mortician. That's right. That's right.

And that's when you told me everything. You were with a Haitian mortician. And you used to take him to a motetian. and you would pay for the motel and you would bring champagne and you had to give him a coffee machine as a gift. You forgot about that little bit? So I think this is what she could have been blackmailing her with. She could have been like, listen, I know all the people that you fucked. So you want me to bring them up on TV?

It could have been that. It could have been that. That's true. So everyone's laughing by that very specific detail about the coffee maker. And Andrew goes, bitch. She goes, wow. oh and then there's more then she also had another lover a cop a cop who she had to bring a waffle iron to she gave a lemon zester to an off-duty nurse did you know that she had to bring a mini food processor a little one for nuts

to someone who worked a toll booth she bought an egg cracker for a garbage man basically julia's like a cuisine art ambassador but also like a wildly sexual being she's a lady who likes sex with people and gives them household appliances in return is it an affair if she also enriches your kitchen so they're all like cracking up like because this is honestly like i mean we're We're still recovering from the revelation that Julia's name used to be Yulia. And it's like, and now we have the bombshell that there's a Haitian mortician who benefited by getting a coffee maker of some sort, Mr.

Coffee, truly. And a cop who apparently got nothing, which is too bad. And I like the adrian, it just goes, bitch. Like I told you, bitch, I let the coffee machine out of the bag. The coffee machine is out of the bag, bitch. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, here comes an Andy Cohen deadpan question. Hold on. Okay, hold on. I want to know one thing. Why did you have to buy the Haitian mortician a coffee maker?

I don't know what she's talking about. Oh, you know what she's talking about. Drip, drip, bitch. So did you have these affairs also, Julia? Well, I shared with Adriana in confidence. So yes, you did. In certain situations I had. Yes, and Martina knows. But I said it to her. And that's, oh, okay. So it's okay. so it's all okay lady so you have a pattern of cheating you're a liar and you're a cheater so she goes well whatever i am and you know right now you're malicious no you have zero leg to stand on ma'am when you just brought this up to be malicious to her sorry so and is like are you in an open relationship no i app no i'm not in open relationship whatsoever but i am in open relationship in giving cuisine

our two people. So everyone, I just want to say that you are all getting air fryer later this afternoon. Thank you. And Martina knows. She knows all about this. Even my daughters know about it. Even my daughter's cleaning lady knows about it. I gave her an egg timer.

Okay, this is true. And I told Adriana in confidence and now maliciously she is trying to shame me. You're shaming her. Who outs somebody on national TV? I like that. She says that even her daughters know. This is also moments after she says one of the reasons why she had an affair was because she was missing her daughters. So was the conversation like, I just want you girls to

know that because you let home, I cheated on Martina with Adriana and mortician and the coffee maker I had promised to you, unfortunately, I have had to send away. I apologize. You have a mask, okay? You are not the face that you say you have. You are promiscuous. and you cheat on your wife and I'm the bad guy. I'm the bad guy now. Oh, oh, you should, please, Adriana. He's like, okay, we need to take a break. So they go to break.

And Andy's like, you guys need to make up because this is a housewise reunion. So you're supposed to make up. Oh, really? Well, until this promiscuous thing, you know, goes around and tries to make me the bad guy, I would make up, but now, but now, unless you tell the truth, there's no moving forward.

Did I say you're the bad guy? No, I did not. just said that you tricked me into having sex with you so that you could control me and abuse me. When is this calling you a bad guy? Because she's a serial cheater. I did not say you were bad. Oh, come on. I would never go for you, you dirty little whore. So she gets up and Julia's insisting that she did not call Adrian a bad guy, but she did say that you did say that she was abusing you and was malicious and um was blackmailing you which i'm pretty sure is not what we see in like i don't know julia

roberts or by the way julia roberts can i say something just as long as i love some julia roberts news she was on watch what happens live earlier this week and they were posting this clip about like how julia roberts is like you know what i love real housewives of miami i mean that is what a funny show and then uh and he was like really wow and he's asking her questions and And she was like, oh, when Julia, when Julia said that she'd slept with another castmate and the recipient of that did not seem happy. I was like, Julia Roberts, you do not watch the show. You don't know Adriana's name. You called her the recipient of it.

And she's like, oh, and Stephanie, what a great first season. I mean, she really came on all prim and proper. I was like, who made, someone made Julia Roberts a highlight reel so she could have her talking points for watch her happens live. And I appreciate doing the homework. I really do. But like, you can't fool us, okay? If you cannot know, if you do not know Adriana's name, you cannot tell us that you were a Miami fan.

And if you would like to refute this, you're welcome to come on to watch what happen, and watch what crapans and discuss on Crappia. We'll educate you. We should have a spinoff podcast, just educating Julia Roberts about things she needs to know about housewives. Because Emma Roberts is a big Bravo fan. But Julia Roberts, I'm like,

Listen, and like I said, if she wants to come on here and set the record straight, I will always make room for Julie Roberts. But I felt like she should have known Adriana's name. It made me put an eyebrow up in the air about that one. Yeah, we do not believe you, Julie Roberts. However, we do still love you. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed.

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