Watch What Crappens - #3038 RHOSLC S605 Part One: Soup-er Troopers

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap! It’s a bottle episode! Literally! Real Housewives of Salt Lake City heads to a winery for a fun afternoon of yelling, screaming, and a hint of telepathy. No horse is safe in this chaotic hour. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. and welcome to watch our crap in the podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben mandelker joining me today is the one the only the resilient the man who i hope would never return any toy horses i would ever give him it's ronnie caram hi ron hi ron hi throw some toy horses across the damn room just want to say your face is great today your your facelift looks great today. Thank you. Thank you so much. Can you show me where the threads are? Because I'm just, I'm just, I love the work that's been done. I don't have a facelift, but I have 16 threads holding

on my face. So, uh, welcome. We're talking Salt Lake City today. We're talking a crazy bottle episode, aka an episode that takes place in basically one location. Um, before we get into that, please come join us on Patreon. We have so much more there. We do a weekly bonus episode. We did the Southern Charm, a trailer trash. We broke down that entire. We spent an hour on that trailer. We really go deep on our trailer trashes. So that's this week.

We also have a video component with Crappins on demand where you can watch us, not just listen. And we have an amazing Discord community and so much more. So come get the full Crappins experience by joining us on Patreon. And what else? I think that's it in terms of. And then thank you to everyone who can. came and sauce on Amazon Live this week. Next week, we have crappins, uh, crappy hour.

I'm like crappins on demand. The crappy hour is on Monday. So, uh, yeah, we always appreciate when people, uh, show up for our fun Monday activities. Uh, so today is real housewives of Salt Lake City. Before we get into that, though, I do have to like issue an apology because I was being, guess what guys? I know this is shocking. I was being a dumb ass.

So on, uh, on, on, Monday, when we were recapping Real House of Potomac, we were talking about Tia, who we both love, and I said that I love an uppity housewife. And I did not realize when I said that, that there's actually a huge amount of history with using the word uppity when referring to black women. And I really committed a pretty big microaggression. I didn't realize this. I really thought I was sort of referencing it.

It had the Dubro type. but it doesn't that's no excuse for anything um and i really have to credit and thank uh our audience who flagged it for me and it was everyone was like hey ben we know you probably didn't mean it but just so you know you kind of you know this is this rubbed a bunch of us the wrong way so i really apologize for that like that's not ever my intention we're not trying to make people in the middle listen to podcasts, like, you know, be like, ooh, wow, that's a bummer. Why did you say that at everything? We also just don't want to say it at all. So I always have to say like, we're here to make you smile, not exactly. We're trying to hear make you smile and not like

take you remind you of like awful people and awful things in your life. So, uh, you know, I appreciate the audience patience with me for both of us as we continue to always learn. It's amazing what they always say you don't know what you don't know and I would have thought that I would have known but that's the truth is you you there's you're just always learning you're always learning you're always doing the work so uh really thank you to everyone who flagged that for me and now I know won't do it again and sorry to everyone who that was a very halting experience for when they were listening to the podcasts oh yeah and we love you Tia as well we love you Tia Best casting of the year so far.

Best casting of the year so far. It's always bad. It's, you know, it's always bad news when you have to say, oh, I meant it in, I meant it in a Heather Debrough way.

That's never, you're never going to be in good place. I meant that this in an innocent way. It was actually a praise. It was a moment of praise. But, but yeah, I am really grateful.

This, you know, listen, unfortunately, this is not the first time I've stuck my, foot in my mouth big time. It won't unfortunately be the last time. But I really, what's so cool about our audiences, they're always like, hey, just so you know, and you know what, we can take

notes in life. That can happen. It's all right. Yeah, that's for sure. If we couldn't, we would have been out of here a long time ago. Yeah, exactly. We're still trying to go. Don't go too far back in those archives now. I know. Trust me, there's moments that I've considered just hitting the delete button on everything. You know how like younger people now, my nieces do that. Well, I don't think they do it anymore. But for a while, they were like, uncle, no one keeps anything up on their socials. You have to have it expire in a week. And so they would put stuff up and then, like, if you look at, you know, some younger people for a while, you would just see two pictures on their Instagram or whatever, because they're like, I'm deleting that shit. You're not canceling me for

something I thought about two weeks ago. I thought about that. I was like, we should do that to some of our archives but yeah you know some of you know a lot of a lot of it is just uh you know listening and changing you that yeah it's like not it's not a hard thing to do when people say hey just so you know the the comment that was just like a casual that word that was just a casual word for you don't realize how loaded it is for for marginalized certain marketplace communities you know and like it's really not a it's not a big deal to say oh my bad won't do that again and And now I know. And so, you know,

words are cheap, but listening is free. Okay? Honestly, that's true. So, so here we are with... Now let's move. Now let's pivot into total chaos, which is this episode of Salt Lake City.

I like... Now let's move on. Let's have a moment about apologizing and how easy it is and then go to a show that it's not easy at all. No one seems to understand how to do it. It's absolutely impossible.

to do it. Here, here's another case study. This was, so, this reminded me of last year when there was an entire episode that took place at Meredith's bat mitzvah. And it was, to me, one of the great Salt Lake City episodes. I thought it was just like a perfect episode. There's so much going on and so much hilarity. And I kind of felt like this one was sort of kind of trying to do the same thing. You know, whenever we all know as Bravo fans that when an episode opens up at the event, people arriving at the event, we're not even seeing any stupid home scene of like Whitney using a soda stream, then it's going to be a wild episode. But that being said, I actually felt me back to the soda stream. The soda stream. I, I, I felt like this one, I could have, it could

have been rained in a little bit. Like after a while, I was just like, it's just Angie and Lisa screaming at each other nonstop. Rained nothing in. It was a complete classic from start to finish. It was a closer fuck. And I don't know that they were really trying to do the whole thing from Meredith's butt mitzvah. But I think the reason they do it is because there's nowhere to shoot in this town. You know, they're always shooting on the side of the road or in a parking lot. And I think once they find a location that's like, just take it for the day. They're like, let's do everything right here.

Just bring the psychic in here. We'll do all the psychic scenes here, the scene. Let's just keep it here. It could be a gas station. They do a whole thing at a gas station. And it would be amazing. Well, what we don't need. Okay, I'm sure we agree on this.

What we don't need is Whitney singing and opening and a closing number to frame this episode. That I did not love. I mean, and I like that they gave her something that they thought that she would know because any idiot knows. Old town ladies, what is it? Camp town ladies sing their song. It's not what she was singing. I don't know what she was singing. It was like some easy, folky song that you sing in kindergarten.

and Whitney still couldn't get it. They just said, why are you giving Whitney the thing to memorize? Whitney's not the wine, but that made it so much more perfect, too. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm like a, maybe I'm like a purist or a, or a curmudgeon. But I kind of love a previously on and just give me a montage. I don't know why.

I kind of like love that ramp up to get into the episode. And when they do the previously's sort of framed in a, in this case, a song or in other cases a vignette where like Gina goes and meets with Jen Pedrante at some like 7-Eleven and they's like, last night was crazy you want that? Like I kind

of just want a nice clean full previously on. Am I crazy? No, but they're trying to get creative over there. Like we've been doing this 97 years. Let's get creative. By the way, did you see the Desperate Housewives cover that these ladies all did?

It's great. was that for vanity fair i'm assuming it was for us weekly so they copied the vanity fair whatever oh that's cute yeah they copied this like classic desperate housewives cover um and they had the five oh geez because at first i was like wow i can't believe they didn't include angie or bronwyn but then i realized this these were the five women that started the show uh i guess they they should have had like a little picture of jen shaw in the corner and her prison club i mean there was there was crime in the first season of desperate housewives. That was the hook, you know.

Jen Shaw could be the narration. Yeah. Or she could be Nicola Sheridan. And I think it's so funny that that's become Brittany's tagline. What about me? Because that was Jen Shaw's kind of thing to say on this show for a long time. And Britney came out with a one woman show. She's going to be performing at 54 below, I think, somewhere in New York, some cabaret venue. And it's called, What About Me? But what about me? I think it's funny.

Yeah. Well, also she did a What About Me? because she basically commented on the photo on on Instagram. I was like, oh my God, you guys all look so wonderful. Looks like a fun day, which was her way of saying to Us Weekly, what about me?

Why can't I be in the photo shoot? Yeah, I didn't take a, I thought I took a screenshot of it. Maybe I thought, maybe I, before I took a screenshot of it, I thought,

Ronnie, do you need even more gay shit on your phone, like in your camera role? Like more screenshots. Look, look, it's a Housewives cover in Us Weekly. But I thought I took it

But I think there were other pictures That did include some of the other ladies Because I think Bronwyn is in one wearing a yellow bathing suit And then I saw Angie in one wearing a tub of Siziki So I thought that was really cute Satsikini That's her bathing suit Satsi Kini

Yeah, she was in it as well But like on the cover it was the OGs It's great I love how much people have the show And please don't mistake me saying, I felt like the arguing got a little old as saying I didn't enjoy the episode. I mean, I was laughing out loud. I mean, it was hilarious. But like, you know, sometimes like, you know, a little bit of Lisa Barlow yelling sometimes didn't go a long way for me. I love, I love Lisa on

the show. I love, I love her as our villain. I love her as this person who has a slippery sort of relationship with the truth, it seems like. But, uh, yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot for me at a certain point. Maybe I was just tired. What can I say? You know what? You don't need to apologize. You don't need it.

But here's what I love. Any episode that opens with the Chiron that says, Whitney's telepathic tasting. I know. That was great. It's almost like they knew. Are we tasting telepaths now? Because I don't want to taste that Simon look alike,

whoever they got to do this. That looks like Simon Van Kempin. Yeah, it really does. I think they almost were like, we have to do a bottle episode. if it's called her telepathic lunch just to shock the audience right at the beginning. Like we've arrived at a telepathic lunch and we don't even understand what it is. A telepathic tasting.

America's going to be like, what? And guess we're like what? Telepathic tasting. So here we are. It's like a pretty outdoor party and there's ducks walking around. And Heather comes in and sees Whitney. And she's like, oh my God, you look like a fairy princess. you, me, women

together having lunch against all odds. This is what we do. We come together. We meet for lunch and we leave as sisters because when we are part of this group Circle Finger and around and around and around, that means

that we are bound for life. And of course Mary comes in and just shits all over it right at the very start. She's like, I don't know why Whitney would choose to have an event at this place. I mean, this is bad juju. The former owner killed his wife and himself. Yeah. And a couple of ducks.

There was a horse murder outside. He killed her with a horse. Swung a horse at her and killed her. Terrible. Terrible. They then set it on fire. They've rebuilt it. Soaked all of the staff in acid. Everybody died. Everybody died. What the hell with the show? The only person who survived was Molly

Molly Sorensen, fun fact. He killed his wife for being slutty. So, yeah, she's like, why are we here again? And this place is trying so hard to get over its reputation. I mean, the decoration is flowers. It's like flowers all over the walls, flowers on the floor. I mean, it's very gorgeously done. And now it looks like a horror house, you know?

A horror, a house of horrors, I should say. It's like a little ersats. It's, it's, the flowers are, it's actually so many flowers that it's sort of gone into like beard into gaudiness, which, you know, a lot of wineries do. And I have to imagine the Utah winery is definitely going to do this. But then Angie shows up. It makes it so dark because flowers, and obviously you know this, this is like very easy trivia, but you take flowers to funerals because back in the day, they didn't embalm you and stuff. You just sat there dead until you were buried. And so, you know, you got really stinky.

said they would bring flowers to make the funeral smell okay. That's where flowers at the funeral come from. So they come in here and it's all flower themed. And it's like, oh, yeah, this is where a murder, suicide took place. It's just so dark. It's just a dark, Ben. So what's the deal with flowers at a wedding then? Well, it probably came from the same story.

People just smelled. So you have to smell your mother-in-law or whatever, I guess. So Angie shows up and she's got a tub and she hides it under a table. So we know she's got a stunt coming up later. And then Bronwyn shows up and she's in this big flowery kind of dress thing, which looks very Bronwyn-y. But then Marrith comes in and maybe I didn't like this. I don't know if this is considered a very fashion for her, but it was this crazy like denim outfit with denim flower petals or flower buds all over. It was so crazy.

This was one of Meredith's craziest looks of all time. I liked Mary's comment. She's like, what is that? That looks like a walking virus. And it did. And then they put up a picture of it next to COVID. Yeah. It was certifiably crazy.

I was like staring at it the whole time. I was like, because it also had these boots. It was boots. It was like a whole thing. It was a whole crazy thing. I was like, Meredith is going for something right now, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure that she's like a blister, but you know, I liked it. Meredith can pull it off.

So, uh, Lisa comes in and she's like, I want to support Whitney, but Angie's just been so nasty. Coming after my kids, talking about my kid's brand. Like, who talks about their kids brand? That's terrible. We should leave kids brands alone. You know, Trevor Project, TM. Leave kids' brands alone. Like, it's completely fucked up.

Like, I'm done taking the high road. How are you taking him a high road? You just sent an assistant to her salon and called it Dusty. Yeah. Also, she arrives with like this giant like manila envelope. And she also has like a little box thing. And so it looks like she's about to, she's going to come to this,

this tasting and reveal something major and big. Like there's going to be something she's pulling out that envelope. And spoiler alert, unless I missed it, she pulls nothing out that envelope, right? She just has it. And then it goes away. Yeah, she's got to have. But we never see that.

She has broken the rule of Chekhov's gun. Chekhov's Manila envelope, which is that it. If it's there, it's going to get opened. Not necessarily with Lisa Barlow. She's just going to have it. Chekhovs to Manila. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial.

Did you, uh, did you see the little spat that Angie got into on Twitter with Wendy's? No. What happened? Wow, Angie. Going after the big guys. It's been a good week for articles on this show, for like extracurriculars on this show. Wendy's tweeted after the last episode, wow, I guess we're not going to be going to Angie, Angie Kay's salon anytime soon.

And she said, at Wendy's, just like I keep your fries out of my mouth, keep my franchise out of yours. oh that's that's pretty good actually she's really good yeah and also wendy is i don't know what you're fighting with anybody since you changed your fries 15 years ago they've never been the same yeah i miss my soggy way burgers enjoy your burgers that don't fit on a bun yeah enjoy your burgers that if you line them up there's no space in between them because they all touch yeah enjoy that squarey squarey burger This is a square burger faces. So, Heather squeals when she sees Lisa walk up

because she's still pretending that she is not dreaming every day of Lisa's demise. And Meredith is like, well, I haven't seen Lisa since I spoke about it. So that should be very, very interesting. We see a flashback of Angie telling Meredith that Lisa encouraged Angie to dig up dirt on Meredith. So Meredith says, Lisa and I are in a really good place and we've worked really hard to get this space.

And while it was in the past when we were in a different space, I'm still not acceptable. So she did do it and that's a really big problem. So everyone sits down around the table and it seems like everything's going to be fine. And Whitney has a speech to give, which she reads off her phone. Does, okay, um, does everyone have a drink? Okay, we're going to do a little test. Do the, are the toasters ready? Wait, what, not that kind of toast?

Oh, sorry. Okay, it's drink toast. Um, I really appreciate you all coming. The other day, I was going through old photos and videos. And I, I started reminiscing about photos and videos. Um, yeah, can I go? from the beginning again, I got lost. I'm sorry, I said it wrong.

I went through photos and videos and then I started remskinsking and then I started rumskim rumusking I remember being lighthearted and fun

and it really got me emotional. I used to be fun, really free-spirited, getting tattoos and drinking tattoos, and drinking and piercings. And then that led to Justin losing his job at the MLM Company, the predatory MLMM company.

And that hit me at such a deep level that I felt like I had to change. So to conform, I took down the pole. But now I want to get back to being the funds free-spirited Britney Whitney anyway, because I lost everything anyway, even when I was being good. So now I'm going to drink and get tattoos and REM skim it. Cheers, everybody. Cheers. Hey, everyone.

I want to go back to what's meaningful to me, which is chocolate syrup and canvas. And I want to start here and having wine with friends and with gorgeous scenery, like this nice, wet landscape. because it might rain in a little bit that we call home. That was the toast. Oh, wait. One more thing. I was going to see it for later. But I'm going to tell you now, I have a surprise for everyone.

I flew in a special guest all the way from New York. And then they said, I don't want to be on your TV show. So then I found this guy down the street. And he's a spiritual intuitive. And his name is Terrence. So you can talk to Terrence and stuff. Yeah. What's a spiritual intuitive?

I've never heard that term before. Have you? I've heard of intuitive or a spiritual guide or something like that, but I've never heard spiritual and intuitive put together. I didn't know that was a thing. I'm a spiritual intuitive. Yeah, spiritual intuitive. Does that mean you're intuitive, you're intuitive about spirits or you are intuitive about

things in general, but you're also spiritual? You're a phony ass trying to take a corner on a market that doesn't exist. You know, to create your own market, Terrence. go boy. I mean, what else are you going to do? If Marcus's going to hang today, I'm very intuitive about it, but also I'd like to do a sound bath afterwards. So,

we see flashback one week ago, Whitney on the phone with Terrence. She's like, Hi, Terrence. I just want, it's me, Whitney, from Instagram. Terrence, I used to be free-spirited and loving. I love

tattoos and drinking and piercing. He's like, I charge it by the minute. Okay. Could you come to Salt Lake Skiddy to reminisce with me and my friends? It's like, oh, fine. Will you pay my feet? Sure.

This guy, you know, this guy reminds me of, he reminds me of Art Smith, Oprah's chef. The guy who, like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he does have that vibe of Art Smith. Yeah. Who would terrorize cooking shows in like the 2010. It's like, hi, everyone. I'm going to talk to you about Southern cooking.

It's great. And I lost 25 pounds. now let's get to it. I'm like, oh, my God, this guy again. Coliflower without butter. What a horror show you might think. Well, let me show you the way. It's called a steamer.

And I like when they would introduce him, they'd be like, look, it's art. He's cooked for Oprah. It's like everybody's cooked for Oprah. Yeah. Yeah. It's an eater. It's like saying I cook for Ronnie. Like literally everyone is cooked for me.

I will eat at any restaurant. Take a break. Oprah loves food. We could all cook for Oprah, you know? And also, I read a lot of those cookbooks that came out when Oprah was doing her whole weight loss thing, which I guess has been forever. But I've read all of them. I've been on the Weight Watchers. I've done every Oprah diet.

And let me tell you that food is not good. I'm telling you right now, it's not good. I had that health food guy. What was his name? Bob? No, Bob was the trainer. Who's the health food guy that she had? And she was, I bought those cookbooks.

That food is shit. Okay? And she's like, you guys can be thin and eat great. food as well. No, you can't. No, you can't. Okay, unless you just learn to like to eat fingernails. That's what I'm doing this month, I have to say. Yay, no card October. I've since accepted that and that's how you lose weight. Everybody knows that you starve. That's how you lose weight. Okay. Yeah. Everybody. Send me $10. Okay. Think of all the money I just saved you over your lifetime. Just send me $10. The secret to losing weight is starvation. that's yeah i am uh i'm doing my trying to like just you know tidying up for bravo con thing in october and uh it's torture i hate it i'm miserable i don't understand the thought process of tightening up for bravo con i mean bravo con is for a bunch of fucking couch potatoes you

don't want to do anything but watch tv i'm not losing a damn pound for anybody at bravo con i'm going to come with a remote control and chito stains all over my shirt my shirt I just feel like I feel like I want to take a lot of photos And I just want to just look a little just a little tighter in the photos This is okay this is basically a wedding for me Okay you know like brides are like I'm I'm not gonna eat anything for the six months leading up to my wedding I'm like here's a wedding this is my wedding right not me I want to look like time daily and gypsy That's who I want to look like and all the pictures I think this is the last time I'm doing a low carb diet

I think I'm I'm going to sunset this experience for my life because those are over low carb diets right aren't they done well i don't know i don't know if anything's ever really done but there's listen i am enjoying my little atkins snacks i get at the supermarket you know when i first started eating them i was i got like a chocolate almond caramel cluster and i was like this has literally no flavor i feel the texture of caramel but there's no flavor in this thing this is just some weird thing that's to trick me into thinking i'm getting caramel and chocolate and there's no flavor. And now when I eat it, I'm like, ooh, the tecate is. Yeah. Yeah. All the layers of caramel and the deep chocolatey flavors. Wow. I feel like I'm on the

French Riviera right now. Yeah, that is how it is. When you take all flavor out of your life and then you have it again, it's like, oh, this is amazing. Fingernails start to taste good, you know? There's a hint of some sort of sweetness. Yeah. Okay, so here we go. Um, Terrence is coming. And so Heather is, you know, Heather's doing her normal thing. Heather's never heard of anything, guys, because she grew up Mormon. That's like her thing. So you could be like, hey, guys, I have a balloon tire. People tie balloons?

That is crazy. Tell me about it. Don't they pop? When you're trying to turn them around? This is a miracle. And so she's doing that with this. She's like, a spiritual intuitive. Is he going to read our palms like our feet?

What does he do? I don't have a lot. of experience with psychics. And no one in this circle has a lot of experience with psychics, but I absolutely believe in people's abilities to have these supernatural powers. I mean, maybe without a supernatural power, I wouldn't be able to write a third book that will soon be a New York Times bestseller. Am I right? People. And Bronwyn's like, oh, I'd love a psychic, a spiritual intuitive, you know, really bohemian life coach. I went once to a woman who read animal tarot cards tarot tarot tarot tarot tarot tarot here's what i know um they said that my animals

have to poop and they do they poop all the time all over my house so it was actually a very good reading i totally believe huge believer huge they did say uh that psychic did say um that i was very worthy and that there would be a lot of worthiness in my in my future but it turns out i think she meant worthers because i have to give a lot of those to todd he really gets cranky when he doesn't have morning worthers oh yeah so that's the last time i'll get a reading in a Gucci store but you know going forward i mean generally speaking i love an intuitive and mary's like we call them soothsayers that's what our bible calls them and the devil can talk out of them i'm going to pass i'm gonna pass on that you're sitting at lunch with these people you're sitting at lunch with a bravo cast

and you're more afraid of the devil i mean come on well also who Isn't the devil speaking through with this cast, right? So, uh, that was very religious of me. Meredith, uh, they, they are, they're going to do their pairing. And Meredith is like, wow, I can't believe we're having Utah wine. I mean, this is the craziest thing I heard of since my son. A toddler was offered a fashion deal. Just goes to show in 2025, anything can happen.

Brown was like, yeah, I didn't know Utah wine was the thing. Oh, yeah, there's like three or four vineyards. here. There's one at Park City, too. I've been invited to all of them. Yeah, I'm like a special guest at all of the vineyards here. I know all of the vineyards. I know the vineyard family. Yeah, I'm going to school with Bob Vineyard.

Very, very close friend of mine. Yeah, he started actually Vineyard Bush, but they actually, like, it got folded into Vineyard Vines. But, like, yeah, I basically know, like, one of the owners of Vineyard Vines. Yeah, he's like the original Vineyard Person. Yeah. So, Angela, this lady who shows up, she's basically like Mrs. Wembley, from Duck Tales arrives. She's like, hello. Well, today we have some of our wine, our very

special wine. It's called Enchante. Sorry, we are a winery. So this is enchanté and we're going to pair it with a wild smoked salmon waffle cone. Please enjoy. What? What the fuck did you just say? A smoke salmon waffle? cone paired with au chante i love this town so he's like wow what do you do first and Whitney's like well you take a bite it sounds gross but then when you have some food in your mouth then you put wine in it I don't think that's how a wine pairing goes that's more like a wine emulsion that's how I eat Oreos you put an Oreo in your mouth and then you put the milk in your mouth and then you crush the Oreo with the milk I mean it's the only way to

eat an orio. It's the only real way. Did I not just say I was on a low-carb month, Ronnie? Sorry, you're making me so-orioes. You're making me hungry. Don't get me. I'm sitting here imagining an Oreo going into milk. I'm like, you go on a diet makes me fatter, you know, because then you start talking about food and then I start talking about food. You start obsessing about food and I start obsessing about food. Oh, yeah. Well, I have to say, I wasn't necessarily obsessing over this food. I mean, look, I'm not, I'm never going to turn down like a smoke salmon and a little cone. Like, that's my jam. But what I love is this, like, this winery, you know, having their premier bottle called enchanté.

It just feels so often. O'Shaunty. Hey, y'all. Here's our wine. Auxante. We can be just like those wineries in France. Why don't we call it enchanté? And we'll serve little fish in a waffle coat.

It's called au chantee. You hear? You would think that they would call the cone, whatever it's the French version of a waffle cone is, just to make it sound fancier. But it's like, here's some enchanté, and it's, here's a waffle cone. And afterwards, we will be serving funnel cake that we will be peering with our red. We have a cabernet coming out called lingerie. We're running out of French words, basically. We don't think French in Utah.

This is a blend. We call this Departieu, and we are going to be pairing this with the horrified face of Andy McDowell who has to marry him for a jean card. I was a big advocate for that movie. I remember seeing it with my parents in the theater, and I was like, this movie was wonderful.

I was like, this movie should be the next pretty woman. Why aren't people talking about this movie? Like, pretty woman. People should be talking about this movie. Like, I literally was like on a mission to make a ring card a thing. Really? Early signs.

You were like a big green card stand? Loved it. I only saw it once now. That's the funny thing. I only saw that one time in the theater. But I was like, this movie, I mean, why don't people talk about this movie the way they talk about pretty woman, right? Am I right, everyone? That was like, I guess it probably would have been my like stand-up bit when I was like, you know, 12.

All right. Well, just picture in your mind, just picture in your mind a scale of justice. And Richard Gere is standing on one of the scales. And Gerard DePard-Depardue is standing on the other scale. There's your answer. sir okay i i guess maybe if jarred up or do had like a little monologue about he who doesn't do anything then maybe it would have been more effective so lisa's like yeah we're going down a culinary path here in utah it's like really good so um mary's like so wait how is the salmon

prepared is that tartar i will not eat tartar and uh hether's like it's good it's so good the pairing i I mean, it's just, the wine brought it to life. Come on. And she's like, no, no, I'll do cheese, but I'm not eating raw salmon. I don't need parasites. She's like, it smoked salmon. It's smoked. She goes, no, she said it was tar tar.

And if I, if I have tar tar, then the salmon's going to go into my stomach and it's going to get in my belly. And then it's just going to start developing a family. Okay, little salmon babies. And then it's just going to like camp out. And it's just going to hang out in my belly. It's never going to come out. Wow. It sounds like Aaron Pfeiffer's family and Denise Richards house just taken over.

So Mayor's like, I just eat one of the cheeses. So Angie says, she's like, you know what? I want to live in little wine country, also known as Greece. And you know, have a property and peacocks and horses. We've always had a modern house and a little yard. So it would be nice. If any of you want to buy my house, just kidding. Ha ha ha ha.

I want to move somewhere that's green. So Brittany's like, oh, your house is for sale right now? It's like, yes, it has been on sale for a minute. Some would say since about 2000 BC, it's an ancient ruin. It's the Acropolis. I live in the Acropolis. And Brittany, it's automatic. She's like she's instantly on her phone scrolling.

She goes, oh, interesting. Well, it looks gorgeous. I mean, and it looks like there was a price adjustment. That's not good. That's not good. Well, I won't be neighbors with Mary and Bronwyn anymore. And then I can move to your neck of the woods, Whitney and have horses and goats and vineyards.

Yes, vineyards. Whitney doesn't have horses and goats and vineyards in her neighborhood. Does she? She lives on a row house on a man-made pond. She basically just lives in a lean-to. Well, she lives in like a garage apartment. Why are we acting like Whitney lives on farms? She lives in like a little McMansion.

In a community of Little McMansion. And she basically lives, you know, like she's in like the secret lives in Mormon wives neighborhood. Yes. Everywhere. Which is fine. But like show me, show me a horse pasture is what I'm saying. Yeah, there's, I'm not seeing horses over there. But basically, Angie's making some sort of like weird small talk patter.

I don't know why, but she's sort of in this space. And Lisa's like, I could be a farmer. Yeah, I could definitely be a farmer. And Roman gives a face like, hmm, what are he going to farm? Lisa Barlow Farming This is from the same woman Who complained

The food was too fresh in Italy I could be a farmer Yeah Yeah I feel like a week I could be like a great farmer What crows in a week And Brittany's like But wait

Why don't you reach out to me About listing your house I'm an agent You know I'm an agent Why wouldn't you call me? Why would she? Why would anybody call you For anything anywhere?

I wouldn't trust Britney That would sell my house I mean, if it was like, if I needed to like sell out my children maybe, but not my house. Yeah, I would trust Gina Kirshenheiter more than Brittany. And that says something. Like, Brittany is the least reliable person. She would fuck up that contract so badly. But it would also be kind of a funny experiment just to see how she does as a realtor.

I mean, she would just flop all over the place. Yeah. And yeah, also, Gina would know like good seniors to get in there and stuff. I would trust her, too. Yeah. Yeah. Angie's like, well, my God's mother is my agent. And I mean, Brittany, I barely just met you. And I have lifelong friends.

Why would I hire you? I just ask you a question. I do think it's like, you know, I just think at your house is less it a little high though. She's like, well, you're from Provo and I'm from Federal Heights. You do Provo French fries. I do Federal Heights franchise. You're in a town that can't even afford a loan at the end of the word. to make a good cheese.

And I'm from Federalites. But it's been listed for 200 days. That's a really long time for it to be listed. You don't know anything about OEMS in my neighborhood. It is the most prestigious zip code in Salt Lake City. Well, I think I live in the most prestigious zip code. And Whitney's like, actually, it's South Jordan per capita. I looked.

No. Okay. By the way, actually, the Richard zip code is Highland. that goes alpine then draper and the park city and then like way down at the bottom like probably the worst of goat of all is federal heights yeah i just said it yeah it's pretty true yeah but the price adjustment that's a bad sign and she's like what what is a bad sign of when your house is on the market for some time and your agent suggests you do a little price reduction is that bad because you should price it correctly the very first time when you're going to get like

multiple offers right off the bat well you don't get multiple offers when your house is listed for $4.5 million on you're fucking clueless. I am angry right now. Are you kidding me? It's my profession. Don't insult what I do. She's not insulting real estate. She's not insulting the real estate profession. She's saying you clearly don't know what you're talking about. True. But Brittany is also, yes, Brittany is, Brittany is totally being obnoxious here. But I also do love like the Salt Lake City tradition of getting mad when your house is insulted. Meredith did that to great effect a few years ago at the reunion. Yeah, that's a really expensive house, by the way, too, in Salt Lake City, right?

Jesus, $4.5 million. It probably wasn't priced too high. Not being that, it probably was priced too high. Yeah, that's a big one. So now it's like a profession fight. And Brittany is like, oh, you don't have to insult me. Wait, Jared's calling me. Hold on a second, everybody.

Don't forget we're having this fight. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Talk about someone who puts a price that's too high. That's Brittany on Jared's attention, right? Like, I don't know if, I don't know if she is the one. She, to talk about, like, price judgments when she is here now receiving a call from Jared for the umpteenth time. But you told me that you were going to take a 30-day, excuse me, break from him,

even though no one asked you to except for me. I love that Whitney has come up with this idea that now she needs a 30-day break because Whitney said so. The kid didn't ask for a 30-day. No one asked for a 30-day break except you, Whitney. And now Whitney's like, hey, wait a minute. She promised her children. She doesn't love her children because she didn't go on a 30-day break that I demanded at a flower shop while she was bleeding from a cactus stroking her face. Mary goes, has it been 30 days?

She goes, no, it's been 24 hours. Well, guess what? Jared actually came over to my house and you guys rode horses. No, we don't have a horse, Angie. I don't know why you keep saying that. But Jared came over and talked to Justin. So, yeah, and now you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And seen, Jared go.

Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, go. Go. You know how many, how many, like, videos does Whitney have on her phone? one where she goes, go at the beginning. You know, and people do that. But they say go after they hit record. Go. She's totally an end go person.

So we see a flashback to one week earlier. And Jared is, in fact, over at their home. And Jared's like, wow, I've been very good to Brittany. You know, I've dropped thousands of dollars on her. And then the breakups come. And then I ask, well, what was I? Was I just at dinner? Was I just a trip?

Was I just a this? Was I just a that? A this and a that. Hi, this is Lars and Pippin. I just want to offer up that you could have also been in X, Y, Z. Thank you. X, Y, Z, this, and that. Is I this or a that?

I mean, that is a profound question. It feels like that could be like a musical. Was I of this? Was I of that? Yeah. Jared is not dating everybody at that gym cafe being like, am I just being used? Am I just being used?

I'm a man who doesn't want to be used, which is why I drive a car with Donnie Osmond's face is the rap. I'm just so sad that a real patriot like Jared Osmond is being used and abused for his reputation and his money. It's just not fair. So Whitney's like, okay, we're back. Okay, we're back. One of the biggest qualms is that he feels like you get back with him when he wants, A vacation or a gift.

Whitney, that is so messed up. Well, I would break up with him just for that reason. Yeah. Oh, my God. The Brahman's like, oh, my God, the ridiculousness of this woman calling me a gold digger for nine straight months. Wait, has he paid for a vacation, though? Well, he took me to Vegas one time. And, yeah, there's like, Vegas.

That's not a vacation. That's a road trip. Well, I mean, it's a vacation if you're on season one of our show. That was a very glamorous vacation for us. But still, for most people, it's just a road trip. Brittany's like, and the reason he's talking shit about me to your husband, telling my friends that he pays for my life. I mean, how can he do that?

He's going to owe me big on this. I need new wheels. I need new wheels on my car. And he's going to get them for me. How could he? No, that is disgusting of Jared. I don't see a problem. with dating jared for a dinner i mean who hasn't dated a guy for a decent dinner yeah i don't

i don't see any problem with that whatsoever that's a problem with dating somebody for food and why are we talking about food again yeah i don't i don't think there's any problem but i do think that uh jared framing himself as the victim in this um dysfunctional relationship is laughable because guess what it also takes you to tango so you can't complain about like am i just a meal ticket am i just a guy who buys her dinner if you feel that way then you also can move on from brittany So, yeah, I mean, they're both ridiculous. And so is that saying that it takes two to tango. As someone who lives alone, it does not take two to tango.

Thank you. No. I have ring footage cams. I have ring footage of proving it. I'm sure somewhere. Yeah. In the ring archive. Love a single tangle moment.

So then Brittany is crying about this, about being, you know, being accused of being, you know, like dating Jared just for the meals and stuff. buying his buying her lifestyle and then the vase behind her just like crashes to the ground and when he goes that was a whole flower arrangement oh my gosh well you know what we call that don't you utah spring so brittany is like this really just sucks for jared to like pay me out to be a gold digger i mean he may be a gentleman and pick up the tab at the end of dinner or buy me some clothes or a nice bag or I don't know, pay for my mortgage or get me a car or, you know, sort of, you know, basically say, hey, here's a credit card, buy what you want. But I mean to say- When my daughter's not speaking to me, he actually rented a girl to speak to me as my daughter.

It's just called being a gentleman. But, like, I've also made him so much a priority that, like, it could have negatively affected my relationship with my daughters. Like, how could he say that? How could he choose me of that? I've given up my daughter's for him. I deserve a purse. what Brittany's thinking. Like, I sacrificed my daughters for him,

and now he's calling me a gold digger. How dare he? So then another thing, another vase crashes the ground. Like, a lot of celestial signs here. And Brahman's like, well, the winds of change want you to break up with Jared. But we love each other. Brittany, do you want to go first with Terrence?

I'll take you to Terrence. Maybe he's single. He's really cute. and there's like um the sun's coming out the wine's kicking in and terence you got no idea what's coming to you in this circle we bring everything to the psychic so uh whitney uh introduces terence to brittany and uh she's like okay brittany be open to receive and what and you know okay bye so then uh merid's like okay well now that the dumb dumb is gone i now think we can have a real scene. So guys, there are some stuff that I want to discuss here. First and foremost, who else

thinks I'm wearing a very chic jacket right now? Anyone? Meredith is going to make a toast. Well, no, I'm not going to make a toast. I have some concerns. Lisa and I started a new friendship and we made a commitment to each other that when the stuff was brought to us, we would be direct. And in that vein, Lisa, I have an issue that I need to talk to you about. I need to know if you were trying to spread negative rumors and nastiness about my family. Specifically my toddler. Blink, blink, incestant blinking. Incessant blinking. No. No. Um, no. I feel like even last year, like, I worked really hard on like being a better friend of you. So, like, I don't even know what this is about. But Satan looks like she might.

Satan looks like she might know. Look at Satan. over there. Gooder. Yes. I am going to blink. I am blinking slowly. And by the way, I am not Satan. I do not work in the dark. I do my work in the light. Oh, really? Really? Because I pride myself on coming directed people. And I'd like to think that I was very careful not to say anything negative about Meredith T.O. Unless it's made up. Maybe it's just made up. Maybe it's made up. Maybe it's made up. I don't make anything up. I make nothing up. Yeah, maybe it's made up. Except for Musaka. I make from scratch. I make nothing up. Yeah. Yeah, you do. So we cut to Brittany getting her reading. And Terrence is like, why are my pants so tight? She's like, I don't know. It's like, yeah. So why does this feel like a reversal around family?

And do you feel disconnected from someone in your own family? Do your daughters hate you? She's like, whoa, what? It's my daughters. It's my daughters. They're 2319. He's like, oh, so the 19 year old, is she the younger one? Yeah.

Okay, well, it's like there's a stone wall up there. You know, I look at this and I say, you're not communicating because there's a stone wall. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Terrence is like the real deal. I'm telling you, there's no way he could have known this. And then they show footage from last year of her talking ad nauseum about how she's having in trouble talking to her youngest daughter.

It was like a troll of her kids for her husband or for her man. Yeah. I love that the editors are like, nope, we're going to do. We're just going to troll the intuitive person. We're going to troll you and the intuitive person because you're both too dumb to realize this. And he is clearly just watching our show. So I have goosebumps right now. Goosepumps.

So back at the table. And he's like, you know what? The biggest thing about you, I am realizing. And Lisa's like, oh, yeah, you know what? You like to go behind my back and try to impact relationships by being nasty. That's what you do. Yeah, it is. Is that what I do?

Yeah, that's what I do. That's not what I did. Uh-huh. And if it makes you feel more comfortable, like shredding me, saying shit behind my back, and then you know what? Go right ahead because like, I don't really give a fuck. And that's why I'm calming my hair with two things on each side of my head over and over again. You're trying to fuck with me. You try to fuck with me, Lisa. No. You're trying. You're a fucking bully. You're a fucking bully with lies. You're a lie bully. I never said one thing that's not factual. Yeah, you do. And you talk shitty about my kids. You talk shitty about my kids. I did not say one word about her kids. I did not say one word about her kids. Yeah, my kid's brand. You guys, come on, not the kids, not the toddlers. Save the toddlers. You're hurting other people. You're hurting the children, okay?

If you hurt the children, they won't be there to hold down the lemon when you need to slice it. Stop it, not the toddlers. Yeah, thank you for pointing that out, Meredith. You shouldn't talk about children. Listen, she didn't say your son has like a stupid, poofy mop haircut and he needs to get it cut, you know, or make fun of any of the legit things she could have made fun about your child. She just said his product sucks, you know? And I think we're allowed to say that products suck.

I mean, this is America. We are, this is a consumer society. And we are allowed to relieve Google reviews. I think Angie had actually a totally fair point in saying, hey, I invested in your kids' company. You basically saying like, hey, you did this pitch. I gave money to it as a kid's company. And you're not even helping it grow. You're doing work for another company instead.

Like, that's not cool for me as an investor. I think that's a very valid thing. But then when she got into trouble where she lost her high ground, where she said, it's sitting in my salon, gathering dust. It's like, oh, like, I mean, fair. It probably is. I mean, I don't know anyone who's buying Fresh Wolf, but like you can't then say,

you can't complain that someone is not helping the product grow that you invested in. And then you basically say something shitty about it on TV, especially when it's time of the kids. Like I would not have said that part, you know. But either way, Lisa, of course, gave Lisa this time the tiniest inch which there's by definition that's impossible and inch is an inch I don't know I'm just I'm sick of being from a world is running with it I'm just sick of

being in a world where we can't criticize people's kids fuck that your kids need to be criticized you ain't doing it somebody needs to do it someone needs to tell you your kid sex okay I'm the village that is having to pay taxes for your child okay it takes a village to criticize your child I should have the right to tell you your kid's sex I'm paying that kid's school by paying my I am all for, it takes a village and, you know, I think like any adult should be able to shame any child. But I do understand that if they have a pact on this show that we're not going to like, you know, do things that might make the kids feel embarrassed or like directly embarrassed, you know, like, you know, it was a little bit of an overstep. I don't think it was the worst infraction in the world by any means. But Angie being like, I never said anything.

I merely said that their stupid product was gathering dust in my slon because no one wants it. It's like, yeah, you were being a little shady. You can admit that you were being a little shady. Yeah, well, I think our point was you're not even promoting your kid's product, not that your kid sucks, you know. But who knows? Who knows how it goes? But yeah, I guess you're not supposed to say anything about kids, period.

You know, because then also in Housewives world, you know better than that. Because you say one thing that has anything to do with the kid. And then suddenly it's like, you came from my child. I mean, look at Meredith. It's not even her kid. And she's like, not the children. Please, this is not to forget. This is not dead for dead.

We need to protect the children. Protect the children. She's like, please stop going. Low. Meanwhile, all her denim petals are flapping around. It looks like that fungus that grows on the side of a tree. You know, it's like, so Brittany's back and she's like, oh, oh, God. And now it's time for Bronwyn to, uh,

to go off to the psychic or whatever, whatever. So Lisa's like, I did not say anything about you to Angie, about you to Angie, okay? I never said anything about it. Heather's like, I don't understand Meredith. This is the type of thing that usually she would not be able to overlook. I mean, this is the woman who loses her mind over liking a tweet. And I know that Lisa tends to have information on people.

So I'm just surprised that Meredith has just kind of let Lisa off the hook. And this is pretending it was all a big lie that Angie told. ma'am, we watch you for three seasons defend Jen Shaw, okay? It's called sometimes when you're friends with someone, you know, like part of that friendship is like, I know you did something shady. I will take it up with you privately, but I will do this like, I'll do this performative calling you out on TV so I don't get accused of favoritism and I will accept it. And then I'm going to, you know, move on. This is also very Heather, because I think her whole like I like Lisa now storyline is so fake. she just wants the demise of Lisa but she's coming at it from a different angle and this is

very her to be like oh i'm just here to stand up for Lisa and then to get mad that someone's not mad at Lisa like i don't understand why meredith's not yelling at Lisa this isn't fair yeah i like also that yet there's also there's no good reason for Meredith to really come hard at Lisa because they are working on their friendship and like when like she like it would be a bad vibe for them growing back their friendship, if Meredith took what Angie said on face value. Even if it's true, she has to, part of what

they're doing is they are having faith in each other that when one person says, I didn't do this, that they trust it and they just move forward, bent of the doubt. So, like, for the sake of their friendship, maybe not in the sake of the world at large, but the sake of their friendship, I think Meredith had to just say, okay,

you've explained it. I believe you because you're my friend. Well, first, they already knew she knows exactly what Angie's doing. Angie's mad at Lisa, so Angie's going to come and try and get Meredith mad at Lisa. It's like, it's not subtle. So she knows that Angie's trying to do that. And also, like she already said, this happened supposedly when she and Lisa were screaming and fighting with each other and having a bad season.

And she knows how Lisa is. So she probably has no doubt in her mind that Lisa did it. But she's already agreed to forgive Lisa for being a horrible human being to try and be friends with her again. And so why get back into it? You know, she's like, well, I'm new finds. Okay. Well, I'm new finds. So then Lisa's like,

Angie's like, everybody's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. In case anybody needed another like. So Angie says, let me tell you why I brought this to Meredith, because I have finally had this little like bulb moment with you where there was a bulb that was in my head that went, boom. And you know what? I leave Lisa's event. And you've got me thinking that, like, Oh my God, Lisa does have a heart.

Lisa is my friend. Lisa does care about me and my family. And then I come home to you sending someone in for picking up your product. That was very hurtful. Yeah, it's my kid's product. I was being nice, okay? Because guess what? I was in the middle of like talking to my good friend Ben Affleck,

and I took time out of that to retrieve the product. That was very nice of me to step away from Ben to do this. And I sent Sage in to get product. And I said, don't say anything, but I'm here to pick up the product. And then she said, Angie said to Sage, let me go get that dusty product. Yeah, true story, everyone. True story. So then we go to Brahman's reading and Terrence is like, so why does brain keep coming up? I just keep seeing a giant brain.

Well, my mom just had a big surgery in December. So there's that, yeah, brain surgery. Well, I feel another procedure coming up. she's ignoring something in her blood numbers she's got a high um she's got a high reading of evil evil mother in her blood please help your mother okay uh also um i'm looking at these cards this is the eyebrow card this one actually rarely comes up does is your mother joan crawford um no getting a lot of a lot of eyebrow energy strange why am i'm getting a frazzled hand-drawn kitty cat and a woman making circles in a kitchen with

jello on her face saying everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine that's that's that's muzzie's t-shirt okay oh okay um this card here it seems to it's it speaks of a giant monster that once was scary but lovable and has been now reduced down to a flat little tiny little piece of space. Oh, that's, um, my mom likes to fold up my dinosaur costume. That's probably what you're getting. Oh, wait a minute. For some reason, I'm seeing Andy Rooney in a jockstrap.

Oh, that's my husband. Mm-hmm. We're in love. Get out of those. Get out of that section. It's going to get really dirty right about now. You're getting the dinosaur costume and the jockstrap. Okay, it's about to get dirty.

So for so long, we've been focused on my dad and the slow trip of a degenerative disease. but I didn't know I needed to be worried about my mom. I always thought there were 10 more rounds of fight for me and my mom left, but, you know, I guess maybe there's not, which is too bad because I spent on my life trying to still land that knockout punch, but somehow I just can't seem to do it. That's great. Yeah, great. I was just, you know, this is sad because she does have, he's giving her bad health news about

her mom, so she starts crying. And so that's all, you know, really sad. And he tells her, you know, she's your biggest supporter and it doesn't always seem that way, but she always shows up. Yeah, she shows up to get her bills paid. I'm not, I'm not just saying one nice thing about Muzzy, but this is sad for Bronwyn. But I'm also kind of mad at the reader because I'm like, this is my reading. Do we have to talk about my mother? Like, can we, can I just have a fucking Rick? The lady's already living in my house criticizing every little thing I do. Can I just have a reading that's about me? For Christ's sake, are there any good sales coming up?

But sometimes we are our mothers, so... That's... The Jim's fighting words. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So the girls are at the table, speaking of fighting words. Uh, let me take a minute and read this beautiful text. The sass sent me. Here it is, quote,

Well, at least I don't have to borrow money to take vacations using a card. I should have never used to begin with period. Sorry, I use voice text. Sorry. Sorry, you don't like voice texting. But that just means period. Just imagine a period in your head. That's what I meant to say.

Yeah, because I was told that she used somebody else's credit card to go on a trip to Europe. And then she had to write a check and pay it back. And so she wants to, like, write something nasty. I'm going to write it back. Like, you know, you borrowed money and you paid it back. That's not really nasty because the accusation against you is you borrowed. money and didn't pay it back. These bites on the show are my favorite

thing. And the fact that they're all doing it over a salmon, smoked salmon and a waffle cone is making me laugh even more. While drinking enchanté as like Mrs. Padmore comes by to give them refills.

I like I am I really am so am used by this accusation of you use someone else's credit card and paid them back. God forbid. God forbid. Someone was reimbursed. So Angie goes, oh, really? This is my fucking company card. Bitch. It's a Black American Express. That's not a flex. Yeah, that's not a flex. Yeah, that's not a flex. Here's another one. This is my third one. Here's my subway card. Here's my Costco card.

No, you're not flexing. Oh my God. You've got 8 TCB Y stamps. You only need one more and you get a free, you get a free soft serve. Actually, I'm jealous of this one. Because when I get yogurt, I only get yogurt in this country's best yogurt. Okay, that's where I, that's how I roll. You do, you do this country's okay as yogurt. I do this country's best yogurt. Planet yogurt sucks. Why are we fighting about yogurt? So Andy's now throwing her cards. I go to yogurt world. You go to yogurt land. I go to yogurt planet. So now Andy is throwing her cards across the table. And she's like, here's my back. American Express fucking product bracelet

and I can swipe it to charge anything. That's a thing. I didn't even know that existed. That sounds dangerous. Can you just like walk by her and just like charge her for something? I will 100% be like, hey Angie, come over here. Isn't this thing cool? Wow.

Oh man. It has such a, and it feels so fun against the wrist. Why don't you rub your wrist against it? Blu, blu. Thanks, Angie. Bye. You can go. I'm always late to everything though because I remember the first time I saw you use your

Apple Watch. to pay for something, I was like, what in the future is this? Then you're like, yeah, you just pay for it on your watch. And I was like, no. And then I tried it and it wouldn't let me. You're like, yeah, you just have to know how to do it. It's actually somehow, I think that sometimes it's easier just to pull out your phone. But like when you do the watch thing, I always do the, for some reason, the only place I

really do the watch thing is when I do a self-checkout at the supermarket. Because the thing is you can do it on your watch, but then you have to kind of like rotate your wrist around in a way that it's like it hits the reader. and you're doing this weird modern art dance and sometimes it's easier to take out the phone and do it. But yeah, I do love swiping with the watch. You know what I also like doing? Which is fun. You can load up your boarding pass

for an airplane and get that QR code right on your watch. So when you're walking up, you can be like, a blip! And you know, you have to take out your phone and that feels cool too. What about when you have to put your wrist under the thing? Because some of them you have to put your phone into the machine thing. You put your whole wrist under there? I'd be like, excuse me, ma'am, my wrist doesn't fit in your machine. I don't know how we're going to do with your phone. Maybe I'll just put my chubby ass wrist in there.

And I'll just be like, ow, ow, oh, like I'm getting shocked or something. I'll bet a dad's already done that. Like, oh, kids. So anyway, she's throwing credit cards and stuff. And Mary's like, don't throw your cards on the floor. Put this in your purse. Stop throwing your stuff. And Heather's like, this is the first time I've ever seen.

black card. Wow. In this circle, we never use those. So Brittany's like, can I use this? We better hide these from Brittany or Jared's never going to hear from her again. Too bad. Newsflash, Brittany is dating Angie now. Then what's Brahman? Bromond sticks her head outside the reading and be like, I mean, this one, this is the person who called me a gold digger for 18 months ago, isn't it? She really can't get off that, by the way. Like, she really, like, being called a gold digger on the Real Housewives is kind of just like par for the course. It's entry level. Everyone gets called it at some point.

But Brahmin really acts like this is a crime against humanity. And she will circle back to it every single chance she gets. It's also one of the dumbest disses you can do on this show. It's like, wow, look at you showing up to work. Work show, we're upper. I mean, that was kind of the theme of Real Housewives. back in the day it was like people married to really rich people that's what it was and now they're like well gross doing your job ew hey angie you want to dash but you can't take you're fabulous

you're everything angie you're just perfect shut your mouth i'm not gonna fucking shut my mouth i'm not gonna i'm not just gonna shut my mouth my mouth is gonna keep up saying open my mouth is open. It's that way Ben Affleck and Blake Lively can hear things coming out of it. Yeah. You're a liar. Yeah. And you've said shit about every single person here. She said things about you. She said things about your curly hair on Shantay lady. And Andrew's like, I'm going to come over there and I'm going to pull your ears farther back than they've ever been pulled by your fucking face lift. She's like, oh, now you're jealous of my face. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And she's doing the finger comb like really fast now. Oh my gosh. You

You look like you've been in a wind tunnel. You look like you've been in a wind tunnel. Which probably could be said by many people on this account. That sounds like a compliment to me. I'm like, where is this wind tunnel? Point me in the direction. I'm like, listen, I'm, my dream would be to always be able to find my light and get some wind in my non-existent here. You know, like get that going.

Yeah. So Lisa is like, oh, listen. want to go dark with you you want me to go dark with you want me to go fucking dark you want to stand up because guess what here comes elisa barlow read everyone get ready the library is open time to do some reading hey you want to stand up what are you standing on shorty got her got her are you taller than me are you taller than me no you are not no you are not no you are not i'm taller i'm taller I'm taller by like at least three inches, yeah. Yeah, I've got three inches on you.

Shorty! Oh my God, what's happening? What's happening out here? What is it? Listen, I am going to sit down. I'm sitting down now because by the way, you know what? I'm going to sit down and tell you,

we are not friends. I'm not friends with short people. Okay, maybe you can go find some smurfs to be friends with. Okay? Credit cards are for every fucking business in my name. My credit cards are for tall people only. I had to reach this for night. They're like for roller coasters.

Maybe you can use your black card to like find you a map to give you directions to the yellow brick road. Shorty. Just short. I, I, I, you do yellow brick road. I do gold brick road. Okay. I am tall. You're not tall enough to even ride this ride.

So get off this ride. You're not tall enough, short person. You ride the ride. I ride the Bentley. I've had enough franchise. Whatever. You're like a section of the. Oscar Awards. That's for people who don't even have the stamina to make a full-length budget film. Best Short. You're like the best short, short person.

You do Golden Globe. I do Oscar. Sorry. That's where I am. My short won at Oscar. I'm going to put a bet that you're going to actually lose money in the stock market today. Short. You're short. Oh, wait a second. Is that John Travolta? over there. Oh, sorry. Get Shorty. Angie, I didn't even do anything to you. You want to blame me for everything. And Andrew's like, you need a therapist. You need a therapist. You know what, Angie, you need a stepstool. You know what? You sit on people who do the most for you. You're a user. You're a user. Short user.

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