Watch What Crappens - #3042 RHOC S19E18 Part 2: Canal Retentive

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

This is part 2 of 2The Real Housewives of Orange County head to Amsterdam to eat space cakes and paint phallic objects. Is it the calm before the storm? You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Well, hello, and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one.

Bye. Enjoy the show. So they arrive at the Park Central Hotel, which that's the hotel that I stayed at. I felt so, like, I felt retroactively so glamorous, you know, being in a Housewives hotel. But, of course, I did not have as nice rooms as they had. but I definitely was like acting like I had achieved something in life I was like oh my god I was in the same hotel

as the Real Housewives like I think I deserve something now and so they get there and it's all sorts of funny stuff with you know the bike the bikes running them over and everything and Gina's like oh my god I mean like one of those like toddler backpacks and like the leashes for Shannon

just so she doesn't get like run over oh my god we need to put a bell on Shannon I said, thank you. Got to work on that timing a little bit, Alfredo. I need one of the 12th, yeah, Ben already said that. Okay, do you want some champs? It's called champs.

Thank you. To Amsterdam. Drink to Jules. So they are getting ready. Shannon is taking a Band-Aid off her toe and she's fixating. And they are arriving in the lobby and they are arriving in the lobby and then I believe so Jen is wearing lace pants. I believe this is where Heather, not Heather, Emily debuts her god awful dress. It looks like a bomb went off in her crotch.

Like what are they, what are they trying? What is it supposed to represent? Because it looks like a supernova exploding out of her crotch. It was awful. I hated everything about it. It was all of them looked crazy. Most of them looked crazy. I know that Amsterdam's like, wow, Amsterdam, you can do, you know, you can smoke weed and there's like the red light district.

But it's like the morning, you know what I mean? Like it's, you're going to brunch. I don't, this is not a dress that looks good in any kind. country like this is doesn't matter what country in this is a terrible dress as like a dress for the most part but it has these cutouts all around her legs that like radiate out from from her crotch it's not even that it radiates out from her crotch it's more just like the cutouts look ridiculous and she's walking around and i'm like emily if you do get another season please fire her your stylists please they have been doing you so dirty this season you think she has a stylist well fire your those are those are some straight up Orange County vibes there. I don't think there's a stylist. For a lady who was like sobbing about wearing a very nice ensemble at Heather's event, like, please.

I can tell you this, Susan Bender would never. Susan Bender, please. Susan Bender, can you please intervene? Anything. Susan Bender's sitting at home completely, uh, would you call it vindicated? This she doesn't cry over. Yeah, Susan Bender's at home. Like, this is why she got those jeans.

this is why this is why so Shannon's limping around and she's like oh does anyone want to see what my foot looks like is it infected is it infected someone please

Heather's like yes it's infected you're dying so then they all go out and bikes are going by and she's like Gina's like oh my God Shannon

like watch out for the boys huh that's funny so Gina's saying that she's a She's like, I'm a professional street crosser. It's very different from a street walker. I'm so funny. So now they go to a boat, and the guy's kind of hot.

I'm surprised that no one was like, oh, Shannon's here. Please, please have sex with Shannon. Please. And he's like, welcome aboard, beautiful sunny weather in Amsterdam, which is quite special. We're going to see nice areas. If you have questions, please ring a bell. And Tamara's like, don't tell Heather that. She'll ring a bitch.

oh you get caviar service on here if you ring the bell no so um that's so cute that you have a community bell i brought my own i've got one in my purse oh my god look down the canal hi oh my god what a small world i can't believe i think that's is that john jansen's son out there hello you know what you know what it was just a a plastic bag someone littered i i i apologize i feel like i'm in a flipping fairy tale What's the name of this canal? Oh, the single canal. That's right.

It's for single people, Shannon. It's your canal. Could you make a left up at dying alone canal? Shannon Day. Sir, I have a request. Can we go to the Heragrach? Yes. Oh, what's that?

The wealthiest canal in all of Amsterdam? That's so funny. My parents used to live there. Can we drive by? Heather, do you know what you would like to spread your dead's ashes? Like, do you have them on you? And she's like, no, they're at the hotel. Unfortunately, we have to do this again.

And this time, you get to see how emotional I can be. So this wasn't your spreading the ashes scene. This is just you bragging about where you used to live scene. Absolutely, yes. We're location scouting. Mm-hmm. This is act one. This is called a rehearsal.

Okay, everyone. It's called a tech, tech rehearsal. Okay, ladies. Is anyone ever go? Is anyone ever go? in the canals? Does anyone ever go swimming in the canals? Just was wondering if anyone does that because I, maybe I should bring my swim cap out and we could do a wacky scene. Anyone? Does anyone want to have an extremely flattering t-shirt with a bikini drawn over it that Tamara gave me

if anyone would like me to pull down out? Has my daughter ever gotten high at a rave and gone swimming in these canals? And if that does happen, would you tell me? I just wonder if they paddleboard here. That's all. Not Newport Beach. Not everywhere in the world is obsessed with paddleboarding as Newport Beach is. Ladies, we're almost at the house. And it's next to the Seven Bridges Canal. It's called that because there are bridges, but you can see over there. And Heather's like, do you see the black tour? Do you see the black door? Oh my God. It still says, Heather, go back to your house. You're not welcome here. Me and your mom are trying to retire in peace. That is so cute.

That is so cute. I only see a sign that says Alfredo entrance in the rear. Oh, well, that's there as well, yes. Alfredo was inherited. If you look under the bridge, you see there's a small grate. And for Alfredo to get into the house, he has to jump into the canal, open the grate, and swim in through the sewer system. So she is talking about her parents more. And she said her dad was finally happy once he retired in Amsterdam, mostly because.

You know, he felt freer. Gosh, I, I can't believe that he would move from Chappaqua, New York to Amsterdam and a global city that's like adorable and full of these beautiful canals. And he would somehow be happier. Crazy. What a strange revelation. She's like, I got the sense that now that he lived in this major European city with beautiful people and excellent food and scenic views, that he was actually happy. So they see some shirtless boaters go by. And Gina's like, oh, they're shirtless.

We must be in the Red Line District. Are they men? Yes, they're men. Did they sound like ladies? Shannon's just like, oh, shirtless, are those men? Are they? It's been a while. Okay.

Are you men? Do any of you know John Jansen's son? I'm a boat person. I have a question. Hello. When we were at the airport, you guys were at one of those little shops there, like a build and Alfredo. Build a bear? Oh, oh, I thought you had, that's, okay, that makes much more sense.

You don't actually build a servant there. I was like, how do you build a servant? I thought you normally have to hire them. I took my kids to that the other day. You know why? Because Luke's therapist suggested making a bear. And then I did the voice so when I'm not home, he can pretend that I'm the bear. So that way, when you're not home, Luke can be like,

My crazy mom thinks that I'm going to talk to this bear as her. Like, why are you doing this to his son? Just leave your fucking son alone. What is your son have that he needs to talk to a bear to pretend it's you? Emily, just stop with this. I'm pretty sure Luke knows the difference between Build a Bear and you. He's really trying to sell whatever it is. She's trying to sell.

She's ridiculous. Trevor goes, oh, that's my. Yeah, the best thing about having an actual diagnosis of Luke is that the diagnosis then comes the recommendation of treatment plan and that treatment plan is to fool your child with a teddy bear so make your child think that their mother is a teddy bear so uh chairman's like by the way i google things to do in amsterdam and have a little activity that we could probably do you guys are going to go to a place and get this like penis are you going to bedazz in the penis bitch ha are you kidding i can still find real penises joe i need to list them for you earl phil

that boat of men that just passed by I think they were men now listen I can find real penises now generally they stay behind zippers but still take me take me and Emily's like Gretchen are you going to partake

and some weedless smoke some I don't think I would partake in that oh well that's too bad so Emily is like Shannon let me ask you a question because you always talk about your boundaries Do you think Tamara was being shady when she was asking about your dad? Oh, fuck's sake.

God, enough, Emily. Jesus Christ, Emily. You know, have the bear ask it. Have the fucking bear ask it. I know. So Gina's like, oh, my God, just get right in there, I guess. I had some champagne. And the producers told me this is the most boring trip we've had so far.

So, well, let's try and cook, people. Apparently, I've got to ask this. So let's cut away from the beauty of Amsterdam to Temecula. So we see a flashback. Temecula's like I've never felt like I've had such a small penis until this. But thanks for the cutaway. Temecula was actually looking so good this season. And then they had to like cut away from it,

cut away from Amsterdam. But we get the flashback of Tamara being like, didn't you say that you're not on a drinking problem? And then we see like two hours earlier in Amsterdam, Emily was saying, it just seems to me like she was just trying to evolve herself in the conversation about someone. And it's like, So you think Shannon is blowing it out of proportion.

Yes. So now. Well, I do think it was a dig. I'm extremely bored with this fight, as is the audience. But if you want to go back there, I feel like it was a dig. Well, I feel like her statement was trying to be compassionate. Okay, can I ask you a question? When she says she's sorry about bringing up your dad, are you able to forgive?

She's like, no. Hello. Cigretchen's like, any time I get involved in any conversation that involves cameras, somehow I'm accused of being aggressive, being this, being that. So I'm definitely wanting to just sit this one out. I'm like, oh, great. Thank you for telling us that. But no one asks you your opinion on any of this, just so you know.

So Tamara's like, well, I can apologize. And you can't, you can't move forward, Shannon. She goes, you know what? I've never called you the C word 18 times at a dinner table. Okay? She goes, okay, come in, calm here. Are you a cut fitness? Are you a cut fitness?

Are you, Tammy? Don't go back. Don't go back. Don't go back. Don't go back. I'm asking you, bitch. Don't put, okay, don't put your shit with me, bitch. It's like, well, I'm not talking to you with that.

Like, God, shut up. I'm just saying, can we try to decipher sometimes when she is trying? And Heather's like, can you highlight when you want to be an asshole? That would be helpful. I'm just joking. Yeah, well, I'll highlight it with the other marketing. Everybody's happy. Have bad day, stupid bitches.

Thank you. Hey, not for Tamara. Not for Tamara's jokes. Okay, stick a pin in it. Gina, or we're going to get a blunt, right? She goes, oh, my God, I love that, Heather. So they get off the boat. Like, there was this, basically, they attempted to have an iconic fight on a boat,

but instead nothing got off the ground. Emily is just trying to, like, reheat old Pop-Tarts. Like, it's just, it's over, just move on, do something else. And on top of that, like, she started it. at the end of the boat trip, like, we all know if you're going to be touring the canals and you're going to be having a fight, you do it when you're like stuck in the middle of the canal and then you're fighting and people pass by and they're staring at you. You don't do it once you dock and you're back at land. Where's your timing? Have you not watched real housewives of Miami?

Yeah, people keep saying, you know, Emily is on the show because she moves things along and like, yeah, she's always stirring the pot, but you need the housewife that does that. No, you need somebody that like keeps it interesting, not bringing up the same stale fights over and over. 15 episodes she's bad at it like she may be stirring the pot but it's a pot full of shit she's it's a bad pot get a better pot yeah yeah it's like i i understand that um nothing's happening on this trip so far and emily is like hey let's let's have a scene let's do this but like you said there's like there's no art to it and there's nothing nothing is she's bringing up something that's not like at the top of our minds and she's also pimping other people out to do it like she's trying to make everybody else do the work at all the time.

She's not coming up with something that she's got an issue with or she's got a problem when she's trying to make other people fight so she doesn't have to do anything. And she's lazy. The way you do it, the way you do it is you do it more artfully. I think you say like, Heather, that was so meaningful what you shared about your dad. Shannon, you know, how was your relationship with your dad these days? Because I heard that it's a bit fraught. I know it was a tough childhood.

And she's like, well, I never said that. Oh, well, I heard from Tamara. You know, it's like you sort of do it that way. instead of like, hey, remember when you guys had a fight? Are you guys still angry at each other? Do you want to be angry again? It's like, could you like try, just try a little finesse? Yeah, make an effort here.

You're lazy, is what I'm saying. So now they get off the boat and someone, one of the guys passes. And he's like, welcome to Amsterdam, baby. And then there's like, think to Jewel. Thank, Juel. Dunk a Jewel, Dunk a Jewel. Is Jewel from here? Love her.

Love her. Jebent and a gemma genotmanen. Oh, what does that mean? It means you're hired. He can be our Butler now. Gina's like, well, wow, they really think that we are the ones for hire, actually. Well, we kind of look like it. And this is our madam over here.

Look at Shannon, right? Oh, Shannon, do you have a vibrator? Oh, we're wacky. It's like, no, I don't want a vibrator. I don't use a vibrator. I sit on top of the washing machine. I do it old school. And Jen's like, we've passed like,

10 stores with vibrators. Wow, a huge place for vibrators here. Well, you know, this is a funny story. And Love Hotel, the way I got pulled over by Customs. And they opened it up. And you know what they found in her bag? A vibrator. Yeah.

And she goes, oh, I said to customs, it's, it's unvibrador. It was a great story. She's told it about five times. But I was like, I want to get my, let me give it a try as well. So now they go in and they get drinks and they order some muffins and cupcakes, like some space cakes and stuff. And so Shannon's like

This is 33 milligrams And she was like You can't eat that whole thing You'll be licking the flung Just take a bite You can eat an eighth It's time for a commercial It's time for a crap

And's commercial So now is The time We'll start eating the weed These crazy ladies I feel so comfortable here Because I love getting stoned So come on girls

Let's have some grass. Come on. We're fun. Some, some, some, some of the weed. Let's have a doobie, a joint, if you will. Hey, would anyone like to meet my new friend, Mary Jane? We are cool moms, ladies. So Emily is looking at a table with a cloth covering everything.

She's like, what's under this? I'm scared. And Lenny's like, ha. the lady at the shop is like you make your own dick welcome and so we see all these ceramic wieners around and then we say oh wait we make our own dicks oh well geez this looks like i love this like his dick no actually like Shane just put a put a vacuum in his hand it's basically shame it's kind of a life-size replica um I really enjoyed lenny I felt like we deserved more time with her she sort of looked like a marionette version of herself like if someone

said, let's make a marionette of Lenny. They would just make Lenny, you know. And she had like little flowers in her hair and everything. And she's like, yeah, these is penises. You make penises. So they and so she's like, um, so you make your own dick. She goes, yeah, you make it. And Jen's like, um, do you know this person?

And like, is this person based on someone that you know? She goes, yeah. She's like, is it your husband, bitch? And she goes, no. Is it your boyfriend? No. Did you have fun with this dick? She goes, of course.

And Emily's like, if you rub it, do you get good luck? And she starts rubbing it. And then, but she's rubbing in this weird way where she's taking her palms and sort of like sliding them upwards repeatedly. And Jen's like, is that how you rub it? Is that how you give a hand job? Okay, so what are we doing? Are we just decorating this? We're decorating.

Oh, wow. Look at you. That was almost as funny as the time that Ryan came home and had. splattered paint all over our sofa and said it was art. So so. So now what they're talking about vaginas, and we see a flashback to saying her vagina doesn't work and how she had surgery. So she would take any position because it's literally just the tip right now.

So Jen's like everything's better with my vagina. Thank you so much for asking. Thank you so much, Emily. Thank you so much. Yeah, but that doesn't mess with sensitivity and stuff because you got everything cut off. She's like, well, maybe not. I don't know. And Jen's saying, I did everything.

I did the exterior. the interior, the pelvic floor. There's car play. I have car play now. I can watch Netflix on this thing. So it's great. I think I'm really nervous that he would leave me because he couldn't insert his dick into my vagina,

but everything's okay. Turns out everything's okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, because you were like having problems with it, right? Just like, no, yeah, and I couldn't. It's just the tip. How much longer do we have to talk about this? I don't think anyone in the audience really cares.

Emily is bringing up other storylines nobody cares about even more. Can we give Emily another storyline to talk about? That would be great. Right. So then back at the weed shop, Gina's like, oh, my gosh, Shannon. How do you feel after you had some weed in the company? It's like, well, the thing is my friendship is exhausting and I have no interest in getting closer to Tamara at all. But here's the question. So boundaries are an issue for you because suddenly we started saying that this episode. And you always talk about that part. But what keeps baffling me, which I don't understand is the gen of it.

all because Jen is still friends with Alexis. Um, who is Jen again? Our castmate that you suddenly became, decided that you cared about a lot and threw her a party. Oh, with the clear, the clear glassware that I didn't order. Um, I remember I got the glasses, but I'm still having a little bit of a, so Jen is she, she was a redhead right in our group. No, I don't know who you're, she's the Asian lady.

No, she's gone. That one's gone. Um, I'm afraid I'd understand, Heather. Uh, uh, Um, so Heather, Heather's doing it the right way. She's like, oh, you want to talk about boundaries and what about Jen still being friends with Alexis? There's something new. So, okay, thank you.

So then we go back to the penis decorating and Emily is doing the same thing. Like, this isn't planned at all. I love this. It's like, I can't tell you. You guys totally didn't sit and talk about how you're going to throw this shit at the wall in this episode. So cut to Emily going, you're friends with Alexis, right? And she's like, I don't really talk to Alexis all that much. but I do genuinely like Alexis.

Are you going to their wedding batch? Well, I mean, she sent me a save the date. And I said, I sent her back. I saved the thank you so much. And, but last time I was with Shannon, she asked me not to go. And they're like, you see a flashback where Jen says that she got saved the date. And she goes, oh, are you going to go to that wedding of a slut and an asshole? Because that would not be a kind look for you, Jen.

Well, probably not, Shannon. because I know what it would do to us. I know. So Shannon did not ask you not to go, at least according to this. So then at the weed shop, Shannon's like, well, she said she got to save the date, but she is not going to a wedding. She will not do it. Well, I think Tamara told me they were still speaking, though.

At this point, Heather has brought out her claw hands for no good reason. I think she's like, they're being underutilized this season. I need to get the claw hands out. Well, you don't want to dictate to people. No pun intended. You don't want to dictate to people who they can and can't be friends with, but those effects, those choices affect how close I'm going to get to this gin person, whoever she may be. And I don't want to spend time with you thinking, oh, when's the last time you saw Alexis?

And I don't want to think about John and I don't want to think, I'm sorry, what's your name again? I'm sorry, I'm asking my memory. So back to the penis shop, Emily's like, it's just really not fair for you have to cut off a friendship. Do you know what I mean? that's crazy that you would have to cut off a friendship. By the way, I just had a flashback to me earlier this season. Say, I can't be friends with someone who's friends with Katie. God, remember that?

That was so fun. Remember how I told Tamara if she went to lunch with Katie, we were done? Yeah, that was terrible. But can I ask you a question? Oh, yeah, last episode. So she's like, so your bridal thing, you weren't really into that, huh? You didn't really appreciate the bridal thing. She's like, well, I mean, what am I supposed to feel?

I mean, I appreciate it, but that's just not my thing. Okay, then let me ask you. So now I've got that you hate Shannon and you hate that she threw you a bridal shower. Okay, so let me ask you. If it wasn't something that you particularly wanted, then why do you feel like Shannon did it for you? Was it for you or was it just for herself so that I can say later at dinner that Shannon only had this party for herself and not for you. What is what is Emily on? It's just so ham-handed.

It's so tired. It's just exhausting, Emily. Start your own fucking fight. You're ridiculous. you're literally making something out of nothing in such an obvious boring way my god first of all everyone who throws a party for anyone else on any of these shows is obviously doing it for themselves to boost their image to be like i did this for you so there's that first and foremost second of all like the producers probably said shannon can you throw can you throw jenn a party so we can

announce we're like we're desperate we have to make this season four more episodes even though there's absolutely nothing going on. Who's going to have the next party? Just do it for Jen. Yeah. And like Emily trying to turn this into a thing when she, like at, at worst, Shannon, it was an overstep. Jen didn't necessarily want it,

but Shannon decided to throw it anyway. Like, it's a nice, it was a perfectly nice thing. Is it self-serving? Why don't you wait for it to be self-serving before you predict that it's self-serving? Right. And that's kind of my problem. Like she's taking, she doesn't, she's not only bad at it and a boring person. person and a boring storyline creator.

She's mean. You know, she's taking somebody that somebody, she's taking something that somebody was nice. Somebody did something nice for Jen. Jen wasn't doing anything for herself. She feels like a scarlet letter, blah, blah, blah. So Shannon's like, well, she deserves this. So I'm going to do something nice for her. And now Emily's trying to take that and like make this girl not like her because she threw her a party.

Well, he's just mean-spirited. She's an asshole. Yeah. I mean, do I think that Shannon, uh, there, there may have been an element where Shannon is trying to kind of court an ally in her ongoing war with Tamara. Of course. But like, truth be told, until she shows otherwise, like, at the other day, she still, she got nothing for nothing, truly, with that glassware, am I tell, am I right?

But, uh, but it's, it's ultimately still a nice thing that she did. And just like, let it be a nice thing. Like, Emily, you can't, like, sit there at the party that you're now maligning. You can't sit there at the party and be like, isn't this nice that we all are getting along? And then you're going to go afterwards and be like, well, that party was like, it was an insincere party. Just let it be a party. And if you, like, if Shannon later on throws it in Jen's face, then call Shannon out for it then. But like, don't try to precipitate a rift or create a rift, you know, on spec, you know?

It's stupid. So Tamara's like, yeah, she definitely did it for herself. Joan's like, no, she didn't do it for herself. Yeah, well, I know what Shannon's doing. She wants everybody to know with a great franchise to Jim. Yeah, so now we go to the penis, back to the penis shop. And Jen is saying, like, it's the closest she's ever been with Shannon. And Tamara's like, well, does that, does that make you wonder?

Don't you ever wonder why you're suddenly so close with her? Tamara, Tamara's acting like she doesn't suddenly just befriend these people out of nowhere. And it's like, like, I mean, how about Tamara something befriending Joe? Hey, Katie and Alexis. A person who's going to a Lexus's wedding and being in all her bridal shower pics. So shut off, Tamara. Like you, you recruit your allies, too. Yeah.

So she's like, yeah, she's so nod to her because she wants to get back at me. That's the same reason she's sooned with a gradian. So we go back to the other, the weed shop. And Heather's like, so how's your space cake going? And Shannon's like, well, I shouldn't put a timer on. I mean, 40 minutes to an hour, he said. So I don't know. What am I going to be?

Who is to? My already stone. Oh, my God. You are like the funniest one human I ever. oh my god look at her she is high on hashish look at that she's the ganja she has lots of ganja in her system wow um so heather passes a joint to gratia and she thinks oh i can't do it by the way i got a question for you sincerely i don't know if there's any moving forward with tamara and i do you see that and jean is like yeah and heather's like well i think when you left a western party

everyone was very upset about you going with Slade and what happened in the aftermath. But you understand why we went with Slade? No. I don't. I don't understand. Maybe that's just the chronic talking, but I don't understand why you would do that. We didn't come in like aggressive. She's like, listen, other people that were there don't agree with that.

Now puff, puff, puff, give, Daddy. Okay. Hey, here's the thing. Let's have, let's have a flashback, but one that's fueled by reefer. And so we see, well, actually, we don't have a flashback. We just go to Lenny's. Sorry. So, Emily is like, by the way, Gretchen walking with Slade. Like, that's crazy. Like, yeah, why is he just like, why to jump in? Yeah, he loves to jump in. It's so weird. Yeah, I feel like he's always been like that. He just loves to get right on in there with Gretcher's. Yeah, I'm back at the weed shop. In my opinion, you've like produced yourself to a place that you should not go or rest.

unfortunately metamara i just learned that fighting fire with fire is the best way to handle that that's what the bible says find fire with fire turn the other cheek into fire my cheeks on fire my duby is on fire because i enjoy pot the house the house no the roof the roof the roof is on fire i i took a boat in a canal today I got high. I went to get a space cake. Because I got high. I fired Alfredo and replaced him with a new Alfredo because I got high. Because I got

high. Because I got high. Thank you. Thank you. So Gina's like, do you really feel that way? Fire and fire. And Gretchen's like, you guys don't think it's fair. And Heather's like, you're just poking each other. Well, you guys

can't make comments and not let us respond. I'm like, you guys say stuff to me and I don't get to say something back. That's not fair. Gretchen, leave your fucking slime ball at home. Okay, fight your own battles is what they're saying. Jeez. At this point, Gretchen, multiple people are telling you, yeah, you're just as bad as Tamara. Like, you're really, you're really ruining your big return.

I mean, and I've said it's a few weeks in a row, and I'll say it again. I think Gretchen came on really strongly and she's going to be ending the season in a state where the fans are going to be like, get her out of here. Yeah. You messed up. You're messed up, your big chance back. Yeah, Gretchen's garbage. I hope they get rid of her. I hope they don't keep her.

I hope she's like another in a long line of tradition of the one season bring back. Because I really like that. Lydia, Lydia, Alexis, Gretchen. Who else was there? Wasn't there somebody else too? Please say none of the Peggies are coming back. I don't know if there's anyone. Gina sort of comes in and out.

God, when are they going to bring back Lynn Curtin? I think Lynn Curtin's next. So Gretchen's like, Oh, Lori Wearing. Lori Waring was a one-season bring back. Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot that. So Gretchen's like,

I've tried everything that you can try under the sun, and the only theme, Tamara responds to his strength. And Heather's like, that is the worst advice ever, fighting fire with lighter fluid. That's what that is. Trust me, you don't fight fire with lighter fluid. You cover Alfredo in lighter fluid

when he doesn't give you the proper badumcha and then light him on fire. You're damn right. give up a dumb try after that. So they finish with their dicks and they're joking and we're seeing the dicks and it's like, oh my God, they've got badazzle like Muppets or whatever, okay.

It's hilarious. And then they're like, Don't be the dick, we need to take these to dinner. So now the ladies are heading to the siren. Shannon is so stone, she can barely get up the stairs and she also has her toe ailment, so there's that too. And there's like a big lady statue in the middle of this restaurant And Charlotte, well, this is like the tan Buddha with breasts.

This looks just like the Buddha. Are we back at the golden door? How we were back? Right. Wow, I love the way a season can begin and end at the same place. Well, mm-hmm. So let's see. Heather, is this like the voodoo doll?

And Gina's like, oh my God, it's so weird. You guys got like decorated penises. It's so nice. It's so nice. And Shannon's like, you guys can share. We get to share a dick. So and then Gina makes a joke how like there's a lot of dick sharing because you know like Shannon she has a penis with Alexis and Gretchen got that penis from Joe and like it's so funny. So they're talking about their days and how much they had fun and how Shannon took some weed stuff and how she fell out of the van and we see a flashback of that which I did laugh at.

I don't care how many times she does it. I'll laugh every time. I don't care if she's just making it up, but just show we're getting out of the van and you just see the camera shake and Shannon's not there anymore. And you just hear best. Oh, oh, I wanted a piggyback ride. The best moment, I think, of the entire episode is that Jen orders an extra dirty martini, extra dirty one. And Shannon goes, she's extra dirty like her martini.

And she starts laughing at her own joke. And as she's laughing, a look of dread takes over her face. She's like, ha, ha. Oh. And this dread comes over her, and then, like, slow down the music. The music's all like. Shannon's happy music to like, Shannon's feeling dread music. And we hear this echo of like, tell it what happens if you do drugs.

You die. You die. And it's like reverberating in her head. It was such an amazing perfect Shannon moment. So funny. So then this real cute young guy comes. He's like, hello everybody. Welcome to our restaurant.

They'll look at him like, oh, this is a child, right? Like how old is this person? Is this a 14 year old? And Tamara's like, oh, hey. Heather, why don't she water? And Heather's like, okay, I'm going to order. We're going to have lobster, a lobster. She orders 10 things.

They're like, damn, Heather. And what we would really like would be a big pot of macaroni and cheese. Thank you, Alfredo. Of course, we would never order such a thing, too many carbs. That's what happens when you take them to a pot place and bring them to dinner. So Gretchen is fixing Shannon's hair because she's a mess. And Shannon's like, oh, well, I think, oh, I think that's honey from the plane. Honey from the plane.

How did that, how does that even happen? Gretchen's like, they have free cocktails on the plane. So Shannon is, she drops her beret and then like Tamara is like under the table or something or Jen. I think it's Tamara's under the table. There's Tamara or Jen who goes under there. Tamara. Tamara goes under to find it. It looks like Tamara's eating her out and everything.

Everyone's laughing. It's wacky. It's like, how are you going to be fucking nice to be out to this, bitch? Are you going down on Shannon? That's how bad she wants to be back with Shannon. She's going down on her. Oh, God, I got it.

I got it. She reaches up and starts grabbing Shannon's boobs. And Shannon's like, oh, she's trying to get a bite of my muffin. If all it takes is a. little space cake to get Shannon and Tamara back together. Please buy a dozen. So Shannon's like, I mean, squeezing the breast is much better than being yelled out for sure. Guys, guys, we gotta get to the red light district. We got a window of opportunity.

That's a window we're gonna be in it. It's an opportunity because it's a window. That's also a So then we sort of see this Shearice just passes by. She's like, is that a pun? That's a pun. That's the pun. Charisse on her hoverboard just careens right into the canal. Then we see this like weird kind of montagey thing of them like in the red light district dancing in the windows like they're the painted ladies of the night. And then we go to a really strange Dutch news report.

This just in for the first time in 200 years, the red light district reports no numbers of activity. People are concerned that the Red Light District may be closed forever. We do not know what happened, but apparently it is, people are saying, quote, it has been ruined. So now they go out to the, oh yeah, the dancing in the windows and stuff.

And Shannon's like, ladies, take note. She's coming in and taking charge. And so they're talking, they all do their little dances and stuff. And Shannon's posing in the window. And Tamara's like, she thinks she's the fucking superhero. Hey lady in the six. Hey, lady behind the window, you're deaf and alcoholic.

Oh, yeah, everything is great. Jen's like, this is a good sign. We may make it out of Amsterdam alive, alive, alive, alive. And then next week, 12 hours later, now they're all going to start yelling at each other. And I'm sure Emily's going to start it off by all the intel that she gathered at the dick shop. And the true trip will begin. Yeah, Emily is really just killing it for me. She's just killing it.

I think it's time. I think her time on the show is. It has been time for five years. They need to get rid of her. But everybody, thanks for being here. Before we let you go, I wanted to let you know. We let you know the other day. But also, just in case you're going to BravoCon, we are.

Yeah. If you guys are going to be in Vegas for BravoCon next month, it's fun. And Amy Phillips is going to be there as well. And she does, you know, she does her podcast, drama darlings, which you should be listening to. And she's going to be doing a show at the Hard Rock Cafe. She has a comedy

cabaret, and she does great impression. She's been doing them for years. She's an innovator. She's one of the origes. She's one of the OGs. She really is. And she's going to be, I saw her show last time Bravo Con was around. It was so funny and so fucking good. And she's got all new

material, including Brittany Cartwrights from addition of Pink Pony Club Ho Down. So we'll be there. I hope you will be too. It's at Hard Rock Cafe, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night on the strip. And your ticket gets you 20% off food for a day of show. So go to Ticket Web and search Cabaretemi or go to her Instagram at Meet Amy Phillips.

And there's a link in bio there to buy tickets. So that's Ticket Web, search Cabaretemi or you know what? Go to her Instagram bio and go to Lincoln Bio. yeah everyone go check that out support amy thanks everyone for being here for a fun episode of orange county and we'll be back next week with a whole new slate of recaps bye everyone watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on alison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands

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