Watch What Crappens - #3059 RHOC S19E17 Part One: And Just Like That…

Episode Date: October 31, 2025

This is part 1 of 2The Real Housewives of Orange County wraps up its season on a charged note as the women confront Gretchen about liking problematic, homophobic social media posts. Also, Gina feels really, really bad. You can watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N-C-A. Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, What's What Crapins, Who cares what happens when there's so much It happens to watch what to talk about. I'm going to watch what Crapins. I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today on this very spooky recap. It's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Happy Halloween. Happy Satan's birthday. I forgot to get a little spider or some spider webs to put up on our crap is on demand display. And I feel like a total failure. I feel like I, every year, I feel like I add a little spider web to something or another. Oh, that's, that's spooky. I love those color blocks. Spooky color blocks. I will, I'm going to wait for you to do some, have some sort of monologue, some rant.

During one of your Gretchen Rossi rants today, I will find a spider web gif and I will put it up on our screen. Welcome. How you doing, Ronnie? Good. What's going on with you? Not much. It's Friday. It's Halloween.

We have a very spooky show to recap today, which is a horror show that is. Oh, thank you. Thank you. audience. Thank you. The undead has risen up to applaud our decision today to to recap the Real Housewives of Orange County. So just a quick reminder, Monday is crappy hour. You all better be there because I feel like some Bravo news is going to break over this weekend. I just have a feeling it's going to happen. Someone's going to wear a bad costume tonight. Someone's going to be offensive. Someone's going to do something. We're all going to want to talk about it.

that's going to be Monday at 530 on the West Coast 830 on the East Coast. That is our Bravo headline show. It's live. We do it on YouTube. It's also on Patreon. It's also on Instagram. We are just everywhere. We're taking over the world with crappy hour. Come join us. And of course, on Patreon.

And speaking of which patreon.com slash watch for Crappins, get access to Crappins on demand where you can watch us. And also, we have a weekly bonus episode. We're going to record it after this. And we're going to probably talk about our, you know, Halloween plans and things like that. Ron and I went to a Halloween party. And so we'll talk about costumes and things like that.

And who knows what we'll talk about? We could talk about something else entirely. Who knows? That's it. So shall we get into this madness, Ronnie? Are you ready for you? Yeah, I'm ready. The monsters don't like that.

They don't like that. Let's do it. They added sound effects to our platform here. So I'm just playing with it. Yeah. Could you send me that sound effect? that we've been using because I love it and I need to have some control too. Okay. I've

relinquished too much control on this show in the past three weeks and I'm sick of this shit. Okay? I'm sorry. What sound effect? All I know is that there's been a very natural almost cosmic reaction to Heather DeBrow's very funny comedy.

I was not too. She wishes she had that think of an audience that was like an Oscar that was like a that was like the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion laughing at Heather Debrough oh we're reverting well you know wow what an episode so we finally got our Gretchen stuff how they ended up switching this at the end of the episode is pretty palsy of Bravo I can't believe they did this I don't I'm not believing one second of this bullshit they're trying to pedal but I guess we'll get there when we get

there right yeah We'll get there. We'll get there. I am bracing for this episode. But here we go. So it's Amsterdam. It's day three. The girls are getting ready.

Tamara's putting on sunscreen on her back. Shannon is really leaning into her wackiness. It's time to have an intervention. I think all the sins of this episode could be forgiven if all the women just gathered around. Shannon said Shannon. It's too much. be sticking your tongue out and like through your lips and being unsteady as you put on spanks or on a bike or walking around it it's too much it's not no because she's she doesn't have the thing is she doesn't have to do that she she is crazy on her own so she doesn't have to

go that extra step right like she doesn't need to sell it she is she is enough you're enough but i think she is like this in real life. I really do think this is how she puts on spanks and rides a bike. I don't see Shannon living any other way. Do you think like in real life about Shannon's like some ballet dancer who's walking around with a grace and, you know, all that? I don't. I think she's a mess. You know, I love to see a mess. Listen, I love to see someone putting on spanks, I guess. What can I say? I was into it. Yeah, I just, it's just a little bit too much. I do believe that that was actually her authentically riding that bike like that that did not feel fake to me that seemed like how i think that chan would ride a bike however some of the other stuff like the spanks like you put the spanks

like you put the spanks every day you know how to put them on you don't have to stick your tongue out your mouth and pretend like you don't know what you're doing right i mean i don't know spanks are hard but here's what i'll say i mean shannon riding the bike like that with an american flag on in amsterdam i mean i just believe that's totally shannon and not only in an american flag but like one of the knitted ones you know one of the ones that look like you stitched it home like in a rocking chair. I'm like, girl, yes, I do believe it's Shannon. I just do. I just believe that's her. And I love Shannon. You just keep on with your spanks. So Gretchen is FaceTiming Slade, who's wearing a cowboy hat for some reason. And she's like, oh, hi, are you going to a radio or what?

And he's like, no, when you get home, you'll be a part of the rodeo. Yeah, that was some really weird, premature aging, sexy guy thing to say. What happened to Slade? Slade. Slade. It is not aging well. I feel like that happens to a lot of like formerly hot people in the California sun. It just bakes the guys. Yeah. And his like, just for men sort of light brown hair, he has these days. I feel like he's like in the righteous gemstones.

God, it's so weird that you would say just for men in this episode. Because you know, that's how he is in every public bathroom he's ever in. Oh, However. So Gretchen's like, I feel better this morning. I think I just had to have like a good cry, you know, right? You know, good cry?

Like, I just had to sit down and be like, oh my God, I've attached my wagon to sleet's ox. Oh, God. And then I just cried and cried and cried and cried and realized this is just my path in life. And now here I am. Everyone's like, just move on. Just get over it.

But trauma, grief. pain, that's not linear. Okay. Okay, Gretchen. So she's saying, yeah, you know, the stuff with her and Tamara was a long time ago, but it doesn't mean that her feelings and emotions just disappear. Things can come up again, you guys. So let's keep talking about the same shit over and over and over because no matter how many times

she says she's willing to move on, she's not willing to move on, nobody's willing to move on. And I think it's just time to go, Gretchen, you know, just to pack it up and go. I'm tired of you. And I don't want to move on from you either. So just everybody go, I haven't forgiven you yet, okay? I need more time. I mean, I just don't understand how Gretchen is just losing this battle because she has ever, I feel like she has so much on her side. I think like every time Tamara says, 12 years, 12 years she's been doing this to me.

I'm like, what has Gretchen been doing to you for 12 years? She's done nothing. maybe she like the one thing that Gretchen did that I think was really like the bad thing was commenting on what's her face is Facebook like that was the thing like that was Gretchen's big infraction but compared to like the stuff that Tamara has brought up about Gretchen on her podcast I mean Gretchen Tamara's always had the larger platform Tamara's had a platform for 12 years Gretchen stands on a shoebox for a platform that's the best that she can do and yet Tamara's still like she's tormenting me and yet still somehow Gretchen, who has really, I think, like, the moral high ground on this entire thing is just failing, just failing. Well, moral high ground in terms of her arguments with Tamara, not moral high ground in terms of her social media activity. But in terms of like all of this, how now when Gretchen is sitting here talking about like, well, it's not linear. It's grief and pain. It's not linear.

It's just like, ma'am, ma'am, you're losing this battle and you shouldn't be. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're coming on a show and your only goal for the season is to fight Satan. And you can't fight Satan. Like, it's Satan. How are you getting the more of the audiences side on Satan's side? You're fighting Satan.

I mean, it's like the easiest. Satan never wins. Okay? I watch a lot of horror movies and stuff. That's the whole point. You fight Satan and Satan loses. I mean, he keeps coming back, but he always loses. And you can't even beat Satan in a horror.

movie like you're failing gretchen get the fuck out of here so um gretchen's like yeah i'm just mentally exhausted i'm like learn how to say eh please it's not another thing i can just ask from gretchen with her weird fucking talk i think you just get to a point where you mentally no it's not mentally it's not that i'm so sick of you why are you worried about where people are going pee worry about your your pronunciation Gretcher's Gretchen's Not you too

Grouchers Grouchers So she's over it because Tamara's never going to take true accountability and I'm over it And I don't want to do that

anymore So Gretchen's like Yeah well Emily said Mimi was really lethargic for me to cry it all out And he's like

Yeah it's not lethargic Okay The one time I was grateful for Slade to say something I was like, please, please, can someone please correct Gretchen Rossi on lethargic? It was really lethargic to get it out. She just got lazier and lazier and lazier and lazier as she cried.

And Slade says, you mean cathartic? And she's like, ha, catharnic. Is that the one? Yeah, stupidity is my thing. I love it, knowing it. So then we go to speaking of, we. go to Gina's room, and their room is disgusting, of course, Emily and Gina's room. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm like, everything is so tiny in Europe.

I know you're not saying that lady with six children in a bedroom. Who, like, hug up a curtain. Her storyline last season was that she hung up a curtain between the beds. I know. Oh, my God, I did it. I'm not coming for Europe right now. You live in a shower. So she's saying, I'm woman's horrifying. Oh, my God.

Well, last night I couldn't even sleep. I was so exhausted. Okay. Well, that doesn't make any sense. Shane called. And then he's like so fucking frustrated. And I get it because I've been in this situation. Annabel had cheer practice. And he had to go to pick her up. And Luke was just losing it. So there, we see a flashback of them speaking on the phone because basically Shane called up. And it's like that classic thing where the dad has to deal with the kids for the first time and is like I don't know what to do because Shane uh Luke started throwing food around he's having a tantrum and so now Emily's going to cry about it in Amsterdam yeah but I think

it's also kind of a normal thing and like if your spouse calls you and says hey what's going on you're like oh my God the kids are fucking nightmares today right and then you're like oh god I'm sorry babe don't worry I'll be back whatever but he's like yeah he doesn't want to go to soccer he doesn't want to do his homework you started throwing food and we hear Luke go I didn't throw anything. And then like, Shane comes back to the screen and he's got like spaghetti hanging off of his face. And he's like, oh, I just lost it. I lost it.

She's like, oh, God, you make me feel so bad about it. What am I supposed to do? I'm in another country. He didn't call you a bad mother for Christ's sake. Yeah. Serves the right to talk shit about his kids. Who else are you going to talk about him to? I mean, I would talk about them to everybody.

You know, I would, the mailman would show up and be like, how's it going today? My kids are fucking monsters. How are you doing? I'll always remember the time I went to, my friends and I got drinks at like on the rooftop of a hotel here in L.A. And there was, you know, there was a hotel. So there was this family, there were these kids in the pool and they were swimming. And I went, I was like walked to go to the bathroom or something.

I was walking alongside the pool and this mom. And she was like this wealthy, like she was definitely like very wealthy mom in a bikini. And she just had this like margarita in her hand. And she's walking towards me. I'm walking towards her. And the kids are saying. saying, mom, mom, mom. And she's like, not answering.

And then they start going, Barbara, Barbara. And every time that she's, they said mom. And every time they said Barbara, under her breast, she just went, annoying, annoying, annoying. And I remember thinking at the time, like, that's hilarious. Look at this, like, rich mom who's so disconnected from her kids.

Like, she doesn't even like, she's like, probably doesn't even know what to do with them because she doesn't have her nanny. But now that I'm older, I realize, oh, she was, she was like, like, she was going through it. Like, I feel like, I feel like, like that's not a unique thing. This was not some crazy, like, rich lady who is like disconnected from her kids.

I feel like all my mom friends are constantly like, annoying, annoying. And I feel like Emily should feel okay to lean into that. Like, you're allowed to be annoyed. I think she has so much baggage about her own mom and she's complained so much on this show about like, my mom was never there. She never called. She never showed up. And now she's, I think, paints herself in this corner where she feels like she has to be the

mom that her mom wasn't. And now she worries that when she is, it has moments of being inattentive that she's repeating a pattern. And I just want to be like, Emily, it's okay. Enjoy some strobe waffles. Your kid will be fine. Yeah, I think it's one of those things. I'm just surprised she's not getting to the point where I've gotten where you just get older and you start seeing like, my mom had a point. You know what's the point?

Just kidding. I feel like, listen, Emily has worn out my last nerve this. season, but I just want, Emily, if you're out there and listening, it's okay. It's okay. Enjoy Amsterdam. Shane's got it. Any of you if he doesn't have it, you'll come back, you'll fix it later. But please, stop crying on your vacation because your kid had a tantrum. Yeah, it's what kids do. He's doing his job. It's like crying that you're having a tantrum on this show. You know, you think Luke's sitting at home being like, my mom's having a tantrum right now on TV. No, that's her job. You know, that's your kid's job. It's your kid's job to be a little asshole.

And he also probably knows that if he has a tantrum, he's going to get your attention and be like, should I come home? Should I come home? I mean, yeah, don't give him the power, okay? Also, you got to love like a real housewife being like, I don't know why my kid has tantrums. Does he have a TV? He learned it from watching you, mother. You have like three in this episode alone. So Emily is like, yeah, Shane's never lost it when it comes to the kids.

So I don't know, you know, it makes me feel terrible. And Gina's like, oh, my. like to watch him flounder you mean it's like Gina breaks in to finish her sentence she's like yeah and then for him to lose it and I'm here I'm just such a shitty mom like I'm not even at home I'm here I'm here instead of being at home and she's like Emily no you have to take care yourself too Emily okay and so does she and you guys like you guys cannot let it break you guys okay yeah but I think what's so hard is that this is a journey it's a long journey and it's not like you could just go to therapy is better, but it just makes me feel like I can't ever go anywhere. It's a long

journey. I'm like, you want to talk about a long journey? How about us watching? Okay, this is like watching a dash cam on an Uber all day. It's a long journey and it's not fun to watch. And stop saying you can't go anywhere. This is your like fourth trip this year. So Gina's, you know, Gina's starting to comfort her. She's like, you guys are going to be okay. So then now we get into vans to go places and um shannon is about to run into a million bikes so heather's like whoa watch the bikes so it's heather jena and shannon in one van and um they are let's so half of them are going to go on a swing set that is going to be high above the city and fun fact it was also i believe high above the place where i took a strope waffle class when i went to amsterdam which then happened later on this

episode i basically felt like i was watching my life i was like if i was like if you If only I had a child in another room having a tantrum, this would basically be the Ben Mandelker story. I mean, basically, if there was someone standing behind the swing saying, take off your seatbelts and push the swing harder, it would have been just like this. Yeah. So half of them are going to do that thing. And then the other half are going to go. This is not, no, later in the episode is biking and shopping. This is swinging and swing setting.

This is one of the, you know, this is like, we're going to do much. We are going to do shrooms like the young people. Yeah, this is like, clearly the amaze is one of those Instagram activation places where you go and take cool pictures. And Heather is like, my daughter at Tufts told me that this is a cool place for young people. And I just hope that if I get high, I don't fall down because I may be higher than the people on the swing set who are high above in a building.

So I'm just saying I will be higher than people who are physically higher right now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, you're too kind. I have a new joke with me. Okay, you have to stop. I have a joke. Okay, my turn. My turn. Still me. Making jokes, audience. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. Let us do shrooms together. Bottoms up, ladies. So Shannon and Gina take their little mushroom. And Shannon's like, I've never done mushrooms before. Is this the new Shannon? No, this is not the new Shannon. This is Amsterdam Shannon.

And I'm just, I'm just tranquilittle. It's no big deal at all. Nothing wacky's going to happen. swallow it first shannon so then in the other van the ladies are talking and jen's like have you guys ever seen shannon i'm sorry her shenanigans when she pulled up her dress on the way to the tulips remember when she pulled up her dress wasn't that hilarious guys how have we not had sheena doing an entire episode of her podcast and then putting out 10 episode clips on instagram about the word shenan um i like pioneered that name and i've been using that name for

for a long time and they're trying to come from me on the O-C and I will not stand for it. Maybe I should be on the cast next year to have my say about this because that is my name. It's just like really hurtful because we spent like a lot of time coming up with shenanigans. And I remember I was at like the El Pollo loco in West Kavana and I thought, oh my God, my name is Sheena. And then you can like and then I want to go to Benigans after this and be like Sheena Benegans after this and be like Sheena Benegans. It just like came together and so now like Shannon just doing it. It just feels like she's stolen it. but I'm, like, not going to complain to Bravo because, like, I am a team player and I am a people

pleaser, and I just, like, want everyone to be happy. But it's, like, really hurtful that, like, I spend this energy, like, being supportive of Shannon, but she hasn't once decided to support my podcast. It's just, like, really hurts a lot. Hey. That's right. It's my audience and they're loyal to me. Thank you.

I didn't even have to make a joke. I'm not going to be making any jokes today because today I will be scattering the ashes of my father. No, Alfredo, no. So Shannon's van. So Shannon's like, wow, look at everybody. I got new spanks. Look at heights of back fat.

Oh, they're talking about when she was showing them the spanks and stuff. And Emily's like, yeah, gosh, she's so fucking funny. Yeah, she is spank. funny. She's a hard day, though. She's a lot of work. It's hard to get into that's a layer. Am I right? Try and get your penis drawn than spanks. Am I right? It's a lot of layers. It's hard to get through there. I mean, the spanks kill me. They kill me almost as much as knowing that Luke might be having a tantrum right now. I'm a bad mom. And John's like, I mean, is that even doing anything for her? What are those spanks doing? And I was like, no, it just, just, redistributes that's it yeah it just pushes her up here and into her armpits it's like a big sausage

yeah it's like a can of biscuits and then when you cut it open it's like boom boom goes the dynamite and the dynamite has made a biscuit so they're laughing like that's a funny idea um what a bunch of dicks though like honestly i mean teasing Shannon about her spanks i think is fair game because that's like Shannon's personality this season is like, I wear spanks, but calling her a sausage and a can of biscuits. I mean, especially Emily, because Emily's always like, oh, you made me wear a pair of jeans in my size. How could you? Susan Bender. Susan Bender's a cut fitness. Yeah, and the truth is they'll all be wearing spanks soon enough because that's just, I mean, I, if they're not already, who doesn't wear it?

Spanx. I mean, my God. Let me tell you something. I had to put on a, I had to put on a tank top yesterday for my costume. Like I went to Target and I got one of those like, you know, like Haines tank tops. It's not flattering. And I thought to myself, gosh, I think I could use some, I could use some man Spanx. Some makes. I think I'm at that. I'm ready now. I'm ready for the man Spinks around the chestal areas. No, I just like to think the gay community. for coming up with the word bear because I just go with that I'm like I'm a bear body I don't

have bear body and I'm not like I don't have a bear body and I don't have like otter body I'm just like I don't know it's it's very frustrating I don't fit into any gay category and that was not me choking up but in some ways maybe I am choking up that was just my voice there is no category gayer than bravo podcaster so you know took yourself to bed at night with that one I'm a bravo guy okay so they I'm a bravo podcaster There's like literally, the only thing gayer than that is like a penis in a bottle. That's, that is significantly gayer than that. I just want to say.

Yeah. The only thing gayer than that is like being gay porn star. So, uh, Jen, so that the swing set people arrive, like, oh my God, I don't know about this. And I'm like, oh my God, that's high. Whoa. And they're getting nervous because it's funny and, you know, it looks scary. Tamara's like, that does look that scary to me the bitch. And so they're just like apprehensive about getting on it and Tamara says,

Never thought about being a swinger, not my thing. But when an answer them, let's become a swinger, bitch. See, because the joke is that like we're going on a swing set, but it's like when you say swingers, sounds like you're having sexual parties. Keep up. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't pay for an Alfredo to give me a badamcha, but that's just to me only want some funny, bitch. Alfredo do not pedumcha, Tamara.

He's not. He's just sweating over there. there. Okay, what did I tell you? What did I tell you you could do if anyone else tried to be funny? Uh, good. Good job. Gong them now. Betamcha for me. Gong everyone else. Okay, I'll accept that. Reprimand, reprimand for dumcha. I'll take it. He was trying. So now the other ladies are like, oh, my God, Gretchen, you're going to do the swing? You should do it with Tamara. That's crazy, but she tried to murder me on a bowl. And so she's like, I'm basically being set up on my murder cruise. So then we go, um, Emily's like, well, it didn't work. She

tried to murder you, but she didn't. So now we'll give her a second attempt. So Emily is like, let's take a video of their final moment together. God, I'm wacky and hilarious. So they're swinging and it's funny and Gretchen hates it so Tamara is like pushing the swing to go harder and harder. And she's like, stop it. Stop it. All I see are gay and trans people down there. I can't. This is not all I want to die.

And Tamara, of course, is like, Make it go higher, bitch. Make the swing go higher. And Gretchen's like, she's been torturing me mentally for years and now she's trying to torture me physically. So, yeah, you know, it's like a wacky swing scene. It's crazy.

And it goes on for a very long time. It goes on for too long. And then Shannon, Heather and Gina arrive at their amaze maze. And Shannon's like, oh, Stella must have found this on TikTok. Where is my daughter sending us wacky? Oh, my God. It's like trippy already. Whoa.

It's like, Gina, you're just in the lobby. Oh, my God. There's like walls here. This is like wild and crazy. Yeah. So they're gossiping a little bit about how Tamara and Gretchen are spending time together. And Gina's like, I feel bad for, I fell bad for Gretra's last night. I felt so bad.

She did say, I feel bad. I think this is one of three this episode. She actually ended the season with like a really big, I feel like. Yeah, she really, that comes later. She did like a big, really, really, really bad. She's like, this is it, you know, like this might be my final season. So let's go out with the bang. I feel really, really, really bad.

Yeah, it was a really, feel really bad finale, like the big, all the fireworks going off all at once. So Heather's like, well, Gretchen on the way home, she was so upset. She was crying and taking accountability for all her own actions. Isn't Gretchen a great friend? I love defending her. Let me see a flashback of Gretchen being like, I don't want to be the person that you guys are saying I'm being. I guess I'm not recognizing that I'm doing that.

Well, Gretchen definitely doesn't like to apologize, but someone had to put the sword down first, and it feels like Gretchen is doing that. The last thing I want to participate in are sword fights, if you know what I'm saying. So Gina is like, well, maybe it'll be okay. But also I'm like sick of likes that they say they're going to, like, move on, and then they both, like, take their digs.

when they're around us. Um, so then it's time to, at this point, Shannon is like watching them, but her mushrooms are kicking in. And she's just like, huh, what? And you hear Heather's voice like, there's nothing wrong. All right. Things have to move. What? What?

Whoa, I'm high. I am high. I am high like the youth of TikTok. You guys are those drums. Is this the real housewives music? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Like what? Listen to it. can hear it. Am I the only one hearing this?

She was like, I did not hear that. I think Shannon's just fucking nuts, man. Shannon's brain is melting in real time. I don't hear the creepy cloud music of our theme song. I don't know what she's talking about. I said, I don't know what she's talking about. No. No, this is a Heather joke, but dumpcha me, Alfredo. We're going to have to have a real talk when we get back to America. Alfredo, why are you sweating? Why are you sweating? Something's wrong with Alfredo.

Someone help Alfredo. You just, hi, Heather. The mushrooms are kicking in. Oh, okay, I'm back. Thank you. Thank you. So they go through this wacky maze and there's like little doors and And Gina's like, oh, my God, it's like a doggy door, but for a large breed of dog.

This is claustrophobic. This is claustrophobic. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'd love to, you know, oh, God. This is, it's claustrophobic, but it's also like a big hug. It's like a hug from the walls. Well, I'm high.

I am high right now. And there's a bunch of mannequins in one of the rooms. And Heather's like, oh, my God, are there real people here? This is a little creepy for me. Have you seen yourself? Imagine how the mannequins feel. They're like, why does she? get to walk around.

I know. Who kept control her ass. I know. She learned the secret. She did it. And then they go to a room where they, I guess the amaze has taken their faces and like kind of A-Ied them into some other kind of like versions of them. So it's like they don't, it's not them, but there's enough like, there's enough like

signals or like signifiers to show that it is them. And so it's crazy. their Instagrams. Yeah, basically. Heather's like, Hey, I have too many wrinkles. Don't look.

Don't look at the picture of me. They put wrinkles on me. That's the terrible. I will adjudicate the amaze. Judicate. So, yeah, they, Heather is like some weird school marm with a bun.

And she looks kind of like an only fan's picture. Or like a porn picture where they're like, I'm a teacher. And everyone else, like Shannon's actually looks kind of good. And they're like, wow, why does Shannon's looks like she has this big like poofy windblown hair so they like her but

Heather's like why do I get screwed in this whole deal so then let's see we go to the lookout and the ladies are sitting down and ordering drinks and Greta you know whatever so they're asking Gretchen how she feels today she's like I don't know like I can't expect something from you that you're not able to give me Tamara you know what I mean and so Jen's like well what do you want to work out differently. But we should talk about you and Tamara again. We should have another whole meal talking about you and Tamara. That sounds great. I'm sure the audience is really down for that. Thank you so much, Gretchen. Thank you so much for all you bring to this show. So like I lost like a lot of people in my life to cancer and like I would just hope that like

Tamara would say, you know what? Now that I'm dealing with that with Teddy, I feel bad about ever. Like what was they at? Did someone say I feel bad? Go back to the maze. Okay. I just want to, I just want Tamara to say that she feels bad right now. So Tamara's like, oh, Yeah, I do feel really bad now. Like my heart breaks that like, no, now that you went through that, they have like actually like a bigly human moment where Tamara is like, oh, I guess it was kind of shitty of me to make your life hell while your fiancee was dying of cancer. Yeah, I guess that was shitty of me to call you out for cheating on your cancer-ridden

fiance at the time, Gretchen. I guess that was bad. And she's like, I'm so sorry, Kristen. I'm so sorry for hurting you during that time. And she's like, oh, well, thank you for seeing that. Yeah, this is definitely. the first time Tamara's actually heard what I had to say. And

you know, it's unfortunate that it took her having to be in the exact same situation for her to have any empathy. So Tamara pulls out the whole like, hey, come without a friendship contract. I'm in a Shet CPT. Hey, Chad CBT. I'm here talking to somebody who dresses

like a murdered child beauty star. And she wants me to be nice to her. He's that fucking funny, Cher TBT. Czech C.P. T.B. T. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. What's you want for me? The contract you hear by acknowledges that chaotic or kiddling of a friendship between Tamara Judge and Gretchen Rossi. Both parties agree to a phone from taking any kind of shots at each other. So Gretchen's like, oh, that's give me tough. And she's like, and I think these two ding-dongs need to sign a contract because they should sign it in blood. They should shut the fuck up. Emily, who is the one who exasperated their.

their peace. It was you. When Gretchen was being messy at the sleepover, you went and ran and told Tamara. You reignited it and it was worse now than it was all season. You can't be like, these ding-dongs need to shut up already because you were the ones who brought the ding-dongs together. You were the ding-dong unifier. Yeah, that's what Emily does. She sets them against each other.

And then she's like, well, why is everyone fighting? So then we go to the hotel and Heather almost gets hit by a bike. and she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then Tamara almost gets hit by a moped. And Emily's like, oh, we forget about that bike path. So they talk about the swings and how much fun they were having and then how much fun they were having on the boat. And they're like, why does this feel like we've been here a year?

I know. So then they're just like, now Tamara and Gina are walking. They all kind of like break off to do like little activities. So Tamara's like. Gina, I feel like we should get backs and peddle around. And then maybe I could, like, remind you that you're supposed to confront Gretchen about those homophobic Instagram posts. You know, remember when I showed you that like two weeks ago, like you snoozy lose. So come on, get to it.

Yeah, she's like, yeah, you know, like you feel like you haven't figured out. But like, I keep going back to the post that you shared with me. And so we see two weeks earlier, Tamara's showing Gina her phone and saying that somebody had made a thread that, you know, about all the anti-LGBQ posts that Gretchen has liked and stuff. So Gina's like, well, there's like a big part of me that's still thinking I, and then there's like another part that's like, feel. And then there's another part of me that thinks, meard. But you know what?

Like, maybe it's not true. Like, I want to make, you know, I want to kind of make me feel better about this whole thing. But I have questions for her, too. But I'm not going to ask them. I'm just going to have you ask them and then pretend like I had nothing to do with it. Juno's like, I mean, I understand that this is like calculated on Tamra's part. And if there's one thing I do every single season on this show, I say I'm not going to participate in these games anymore and I'm not going to do someone else's dirty work. So with that in mind, I'm going to do Tamer's dirty work because like I'm upset and it bothers me.

Okay. So like, yeah, I'm not being manipulated this season. Yeah. Like this time, like I totally understand. I'm doing Tamara's dirty work. So it's not doing a dirty work because I want to do it. So I'm not being manipulated. Okay.

So, but I do have to say, Tamara does at least when they say it, she's like, oh, you mean you're going to talk about the best of that, isn't you? So Tamara's not pretending she had nothing to do with it. I think Tamara just wants other people to also be there with her. She doesn't want to be the only person. She's like, why am I the only person that's mad about this? You guys should be mad about this with me. So she doesn't, at least, to Tamara's credit, hang her completely out to dry.

Mm-hmm. So Tamara is like, but don't need, don't bring it up tonight, okay? Because tonight, I think Shannon has a fat schedule. So let's let her have it like a pre-fight for the big fight. And then, like, we'll have a big fight tomorrow night. Okay, bitch. It's like, okay, well. I don't want this getting next step in the Spanx fight.

Okay. Let's let the Spanx fire have like its own night. And then, like, homophobia fight could be, like, the big one the next night. And it's also going to be like some fish. Let's make it last. So now we go to Emily and Heather in a van. And Emily's like, do you have the ashes with you? Oh, I have them here in my purse.

Sorry, it's a taco. It's a taco. Alfredo, never, bedumpcha, Emily. Never. Apology accepted. Apology accepted. Okay, yes, I do have my father's ashes. He's here.

I like to call this bag of ashes. Go wait. Go wait ashes. It's like this tiny little bag of ashes. Oh, just needs so much to me that you wanted me to be here. That is so sweet. Well, part of the fun of having a really expensive town home in Amsterdam is that you get to show it to the poor people. I mean, if I just look at it, I mean, it's just like looking at a house.

But if you show it to someone and you have a poor person with you, you get to really see how expensive this place was. Am I right? Yeah. And Emily says that she's become close with Emily because they bitch about their families together. So sounds good to me. It's love friendship. So she's like, remember how you and me the other day we're talking about Terry and Shane and how irritating it is because they all take the kid's side sometimes. Isn't that annoying? Gosh, being a mother, am I right? Oh, hold on. Let me have a piece of this pizza that is dripping all over my purse so casually. The other day, it's so funny. I mean, like, why is it that husbands always take the side of the kids? It was like such a funny thing happened. So Alfredo came in through the main door instead of the servant's entrance, and my son said, it's okay, mom.

And I said, what are you talking about? It's okay. Would you be okay if an elephant just walked through the front door? No, you have to be careful about who comes in the front door. And Terry said, Heather, you're being a little irrational. I said, oh, so now you're going to take the elephant's side. and Alfredo's side and the kid's side and I'm just trump change.

Am I right? Am I right? Wow. I don't know. Sorry, that was my team. Alfredo's changing it up. It's the rival. Well, I heard we could all bring a percussionist on our trip

since they wouldn't, they don't have a budget for glam, but we do have a budget for percussion. So I just Like the Cosby show was about to begin Sorry, what? It sounded like the Cosby show was about to begin When you started playing that, I was like, you know,

we're allowed to mention the Cosby show Is it 2025? I mean, I think so. I don't know. That was a joke. That was a joke. That was a joke. Oh, I almost missed it.

Commercials. Here comes one right now. Although I can't say I have all these beautiful, warm, fuzzy memories about my dad, I will tell you that we share a birthmark. And when I was little, I had this autograph book, and my dad wrote me a little note, and he said, no one else is going to ask you for an autograph. So I might as well remind you you have an earmark in your, a birthmark in your ear. You fucking loser!

So remember that dot in your ear, and we'll be together forever. Love dad, and that's why I hit myself in the ear constantly. Oh, the tinnitus. Yes, I often will look back at that autographed book, and I look at my dad's sweet message, and then I turn the page, and I get angry all over again as I see that Wendy Malick wrote her name in my autograph book. How dare she? Is she that desperate?

I just fell abandoned, you know, because I'd love to be able to call my mom and tell her everything that's going on with Luke and ask for advice, but I can't. So she talks about having, you know, terrible parents so she can't ask her parents for advice on her children. So who do you ask? And Heather's like, well, that's why you get maids. And Heather is talking about how she feels upset. Have you considered Richard Marks? And no one can tell you how to raise your child like Daisy Fuentes' husband.

Go on. Sorry, interrupted. She says that she's, you know, she finds herself upset and irritated, but, you know, at some point you have to realize, you know, your dad's just not capable of it and he did the best he could. And, you know, are we doing the best we can? And Emily's like, yeah, and, you know, like, we're doing better than we had. So they're standing there outside the house because they're just talking outside this house now. And this guy comes out and he's like, hello, there's no soliciting. And she's like, oh, hello, my parents used to live here in B.

Are you in the garden? You don't look rich enough. Yes, that is me. I'm here. Welcome. My name is John Pierre. And nice to meet you. I am television Saturday Debrough.

Oh, so. Oh, do you want to go on, you want to make films inside? I thought that was so cute. He's like, ah, I see television crew. This is very American. You want to make the films in here. Like, oh, well, if you insist. I mean, this does count as an IMDB credit, does it?

Doesn't it? Okay, great. So he takes them in, and she's like, thank you. My mother is going to freak. Oh, my gosh, you even kept her wallpaper. My mother loves green. And then we see a side by side of the room then and out, which is a little different. And one has a dark green fireplace, and he's painted it.

And he's like, oh, yeah, we changed a bit of the green, though. We had to paint that fireplace because, oh, the green before it was so toxic. So toxic. If you ever come for my color of green again, it will cost you a lot, John Pierre. Whoa, whoa, whoa. By the way, did you find my posters if anything goes in the attic? Oh, we were wondering what was that about. You know what was interesting?

We had a dart board in the kitchen, and on the face over where you throw the dots, that was ladies' face that looks like she is on the TV show Happy Place? Like, oh, yes, yes. Yes, yes, the Reba, the Reba bulletin board. My mom would get very upset when I would throw darts across the kitchen when she was trying to make lamb chops. In America, we call her Reba McIntyred. So Heather says, I haven't been in this home for maybe 23 years.

This home felt alive. We had dinner parties. very good energy. At one point in my life, this was the biggest house I'd ever seen. And now this is just something I would just gift to a maid. But it's still adorable. And I'm so happy to be back here. Hold on. I'm having a touching moment. Let me FaceTime my mother. Okay, she's not answering. Her mom's like, oh, God. Heather's facing me from Amsterdam. God knows what she's up to over there. Like, I want to see that ugly green fireplace, please. like I want to be taken back to the city with all the canals and the bikers give me 684 and a Honda I'd take that over all those bikes so they just go through the whole house I mean this guy's really nice he lets them just go through everything she's like oh and this was the walking closet this is where I first tried on my first pair of panty holes oh look at these

they fit Jean-Pierre they fit this is the this is where I got the call where I'd be starring in a 1996 pilot with Jane Leaves called Have Fun Tonight. Oh, God, we were playing waitresses in a fast, casual restaurant with a boss who was wacky and played by Martin Mull. It never made it to air, but we had a great time. It was always fun. I hope you don't mind me telling you this story while I show you where I used to shave my legs. Oh, please leave less DNA in my house, please. This is my house, John Pierre.

Back the fuck off. Fucking home stealer. So she's like, oh, by the way, here are the ashes. I have the ashes of my dad right here in your kitchen. He's like, okay, this is creeping me out a little bit. I do not want dead ashes in close to my lobster bisque that I am making. Okay, well. Calm down, John Pierre.

I'm just going to do a facial for you with my father's ashes. Okay? Just going to do a little exfoliation, John Pierre. Oh, my God, please don't. Hold on one second, John Beer. I'm getting a call. Oh, it's Josh Altman from, you may be familiar with million dollar listing, Los Angeles. No?

No. Well, the news is we have bought this house and you can leave now. Thank you. It's mine. So now they go outside and they sit at the canal and now there's like, maybe I need a little private moment. And Emily's like, oh, sorry, I'm already sitting here, but I guess I'll go right over here then. Okay, I'll just go right over here. Just pretend there's me, a churro, and then you.

Okay, I'm not even here. Not even here. Alfredo, don't you dare. Don't you dare, Alfredo, don't you dare. Don't you. Oh, my God, he joked. He joked. He couldn't resist.

Don't but dump you, Emily. So Heather actually has a nice moment here. It's really nice. So she sits down and she takes the bag of ashes. and she just looks over the canal and she juts out her chin like she does when she's like doing a very serious scene. She's like, um, dad, just wanted to say, you're a real cock sucker. She throws the, throws the ashes in there. And she's done with it.

And she's like, that was beautiful. I, I, I. Do you mind if I call those ashes? Asher. Um, I have to applaud Heather Debrough. She did something significant. And actually, one would say historical. I don't think in the 13 years we've been doing this podcast, we've seen this before.

She successfully put ashes into a body of water without having them blow in everyone's faces. Congratulations, Heather DeBro. You had proper ash form. Yeah. Yeah, it was nice. It was nice. You know, she took him. She wanted to throw his ashes in a place where he was always happiest.

And I'm sure her dad is in heaven. Like, that woman just threw me into the street, basically. She just dumped me into a piss-filled canal in Amsterdam. Wow. You know what? I guess I earned that. I guess I earned that. I'm just waiting for one of those, like, floating jacuzzi boats to come through again with some bachelorette.

Like, whee-hoo, it's Cindy's bachelorette. What are we breathing in right now? To Shannon passes by. Oh, God, I got, I have a blister on my toe. I can't get it in the wall. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got my toe in the water. Oh, well, Heather, I do not approve of your career choice.

What's happening to me? She gets possessed by Heather's dad. It's like a wacky 80s movie. It's like all of me. It's like, Heather, I enjoy this conversation, but I have to go to work, leaving at 6.30 and back at 630. Bye. So. How did she end up in the, how did she end up in the Gorga Wife Swap episode?

Well, it turns out there's a Tangleweb that we weave. Speaking of tangled webs, whoo! There it is spooky frame on the crappence on demand. Wow! Ooh, I bounced off of the wall there.

Is that my pedumcha? Adeline, are you my pedumcha? Adeline? Hi, Adeline, this is your mother. I'm in Amsterdam, and apparently we're all breaking percussionists, and I don't have one. So could you send a thing? Well, do we have something better. I don't need the sound of my spanks coming up.

Okay. That was from David. I did not appreciate that. I did not appreciate that. Here I'm like, Shadam Dora, killed by an audience that's manipulated by my ex-husband while he walks around on the beach with a slut. You liked it. You liked? They liked it. They liked it. They liked my joke. Woo-hoo. So back at the hotel, the ladies are getting ready and Jen is FaceTiming Ryan. And they're talking about how hot. she is some stuff and he's like hey babe i had two pussies in my bed last night she said excuse me what did you say it's like pussy cats two pussy cats in my bed oh my god ryan that is so funny do we can can we get a what does a gen bedemptia sound like no one i'm out no one i'm out of bedemptious i guess i'm one of the newer cats i've literally no more to offer okay hold on hold on

I only have those. Wow. Okay. I was not expecting that sound, but that's okay. Was that my son passing out again? That poor guy. Why is he always passing out?

I'm a little concerned, to be honest. I'm concerned, too. We see at the end of the episode he's passed out in the Army. They're like, oh, look, he made it to the Army, and then he passed out. What the hell's going on over there? Somebody get that kid his iron. Yeah, I know. Seriously.

So Gretchen, FaceTime, Slade. She's like, Scott. And then Skyler's like, I miss you so much, mommy. She's like, oh, my God, look at that voluminous Gretchen hair that you have. Wow, it's so lethargic to see you. And then we go over to Gina and Emily using a lot of hairspray, and then everyone goes to a seafood bar for dinner, and Shannon gets out wackily. She's like, whoa, whoa, I got to pull all my spanks down. Gotta pull my spake's down.

Hold up, everybody. Oh, God, Heather is a good for nothing little brat who never does her chores. And people are just walking in. It's like this seafood bar and everything. And it's, Heather's like, so everyone, Emily came with me today. And we went to where my parents lived. And it reminded me that I should be really making another good effort to get. on to Real House House of Beverly Hills.

I'm just in a different class from all of you. It was amazing. It was the first time anyone in her price level has been there. So that was something great. You know, it was the first time that someone in her price bracket walks through those doors and wasn't handed a feather duster. So we are making progress, making progress. And here's what's crazy.

We were standing outside, filming our scene, and then a man comes out and says, do you want to come inside? Later on, I found out he is the Drake of Amsterdam. That's what we call Baschert. It was almost like my dad said. Come on in. Except he was nothing like my dad.

He was actually there. Gave me attention. Told me hello and goodbye. It's actually nice. God, miss that man. I really, I have, I, I really, I have chills with that story. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for sharing that story with me. That was like really one of the most powerful stories you could have ever shared with me.

That was really beautiful. Thank you. Why is she still talking? I'm just waiting for a bajumcha. Just hoping I'd get a bajumcha. Hey, I guess that else is going to kill you. Gretchen's like, I think that was so cool for Heather to me. That's definitely divine intervention. So, of course, Gretchen's like, Jesus, they did it. Girl, they stood out on somebody's patio with cameras, okay?

Leave Jesus out of some things. My God. Jesus was like, can I have one fucking day? Can I just have a break? I can't even have a break while you guys are vacationing in Amsterdam. For Christ's sake. Yeah, seriously. Let them focus on other things.

Well, since we're all having a nice dinner, I have something I'd like to bring up because, Gretchen told me that when you guys were driving to your swing, I came up in conversation and in a way that I didn't really appreciate. So we see a flashback to them having their Spang's conversation. Right after Gretchen's like, I just hope me and Tamara can be friends and just like stop doing this to each other. She's like, oh my God, everybody was calling you fat in the car.

Shut up, Gretchen. So she's like, how is she ever going to get late if they were saying, yeah, How is she ever going to get late if they have all these spings? And it's like when you gut it open, it's like popping open a box of biscuits. And she was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, who said that? If I was made out of biscuits, I would eat myself. Everybody knows that. Are they, question, is this the Pillsbury brand of biscuits?

Because I actually do not approve of their ingredients. I prefer more of a natural biscuit. And if it were, if I knew the source of the biscuits, I wouldn't be so mad. But I am concerned that this. This is a Pillsbury doughboy situation. I'm just, I just, I cannot get behind that. And Gretchen's like, yeah, like Emily was said that. So it's like she fat shaming you?

Oh my God. Look, I think the ladies were being assholes, especially Emily for the, for that comment. But Gretchen, you're, aren't you trying to like be friends with everybody? She's just so bad at this. Gretchen's just really bad at this is my only point. Right. So Shannon's like, well, I was told you guys said, no guy. is going to want to be with me because I wear Spanx, and all that does is redistribute the fat.

In terms of like, no, batch, no, we never said no guy ever wants to be with you just because your personality, totally different thing. Well, it sounded like you accused my fat of being the socialism of fat, just redistributing themselves to everybody, and that's just not how Spinks work. And you can say whatever you want about me, but how dare you come for Spanx? How dare you? Oh, my God, the visual of Shannon just like, poof. that's like there's like no defending this like this is like fucking not but that's hilarious to think

of like biscuits like popping open like that's like hilarious you told her about the cat of biscuits as says emily as if she is not the messiest person on this guest i can't believe you told someone what we were saying behind their back yeah i mean look gretchen's annoying me for doing this but she's not wrong and also you're right yeah the rest of them are even worse especially Gina and Emily. They're like the worst. I think what's bad with when when Gretchen does it, she always, she carries the bone as if she weren't part of the messiness that was happening behind that's right. That's right. And also it's just that's weird. It's just means like it like it wasn't great when they said it, but they were kidding. I'm not going to stand up for them

because it was shitty what they were saying. But I think we're doing in the spirit like isn't Shannon great. And Gretchen's trying to take it back to hurt Shannon's feelings. So it makes scratching the hurtful one if that makes any sense. Yeah, Gretchen was actually making it sound like it was way worse than what we saw. Like it was like she's trying to make it sound like your friends were calling you fat. Yeah, it was like it was sort of shitty of Emily to say some of the things she was saying. It was hypocritical. But ultimately, they actually were coming from a place of like, God, we love this crazy lady.

And Gretchen made it, ran back and made it seem like it was way worse than it was, which is also shitty. And so, Gina's like, sometimes with Gretchen, she tried to act like very pious and like she's above everything. But then she's, like, causing problems. I'm sorry. Did someone say that there was pie? Can we get that before the fish? No? Fish pie?

Oh, that's different. Well, when it comes to me, I can make fun of me. But especially the last year, you know, Emily, when you had your issues. And she's like, oh, well, I wasn't talking about you specifically. I was talking about biscuits being in a can and popping out of a can. Okay, just say you're sorry, Emily. Miss, like, why don't you just apologize? And she's like, well, no guy's going to want to be with Shannon

because she's going to have to pull all the space. So I didn't say that. I mean, I always say that no guy's going to want to be with Shannon, but it doesn't have to do with Spinks. It has to do with your alcoholism. I mean, we were very much like talking about Shannon. That's for sure. Yeah, but and the Shannon definitely has a right to know what her supposed friends are saying behind her back. Um, so we see the flashback again of, of what was being said. And Gretchen's like, that's not very funny. It's not very nice. I'm like, all they said was that she's wearing so many spanks that it's hard to have sex with her because you have to take off a lot of

layers and the can of biscuits and the sausage like they weren't great i just wouldn't repeat that right but it's not the word like it wasn't the worst well i mean i feel like the i mean look i don't want to defend the stupid scene but like i think an argument can be made that they were saying that the nature of spanks is that you squeeze everything together and the moment you take spanks off everything pops out and and everything i don't know if they were specifically saying look at shannon she looks like a big piece of dough that's been molded into a corset, you know? Yeah.

But also Gretchen, also Gretchen, you know, just an added layer. Gretchen being like, well, her friends were talking about her and she has the right to hear everything that was said. It's like, didn't you just get someone kicked off this show because they repeated something you said to them at dinner? Absolutely.

You're a fucking hypocrite. Not that it's a shocker that Gretchen would be a fucking hypocrite. But there you go. So Emily says, okay. Lawyer speaking, from my perspective, and Jen was there, there was no malicious intent. And Gretchen goes, but Emily, you just said it's... Gratchers! Shut up! Actually, no. I'm going to say Gretchen. I'm going to make that hour a little bit longer and turn it into an end because I'm mad. Gretchen, shut up!

Oh my God, you just can't be called out about anything. Really? You really? You're going to piss me off and I'm going to fucking lose it on you. Listen, Shannon, you're my friend. I love you very much. I also love biscuits. If I said something that hurt your feelings, that was not my intent. It was funny, okay? We started it by talking about how funny you are. And she's like, well, okay, well, thank you. Thank you very much.

We love, we love how you, you know, you look like you're about to be baked into a delicious breakfast tree. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you so much. This is why I love Emily, because we can have these discussions, and I can say you hurt my feelings, and then she will literally order me biscuits at the table. table. I'm just glad I didn't, didn't explode like a, like a can of biscuits. Oh, I guess that's, that's my dumpcha. Thanks a lot, Sophie. God damn it.

So back at the table, Shannon's like, well, I'm going to go to the restroom. I might be a while unwrapping myself from space. So she leaves and Jen's like, okay, but pull your. your shirt down, Shannon, Shannon, please. And she stands up and there's like a big price take, pat, tagging of the backward skirt. She's always such a hot mess. But I'm the hot batch, batch.

So Emily is like, okay, don't make fun of her right now. We can't. She can't take anymore. That's it. So now it's day for, it's time for a final day in Amsterdam. And first they're going to start off by doing split activities again, biking or shopping. Yeah. So Jen goes to get Shannon. And Shannon's like, I'm ready. I'm ready to go. And she's still in her pajamas. And Jen's like, there's just something about you. You just do it for me, Shannon. You really do. You were just hilarious Shannon. And then the others, Tamara, Gina, Jen, and Shannon are getting on bikes. So Gina's like, oh, my God. You guys, I look like I'm riding my bike to school. Honestly, you look like you're going to Hogwarts right now.

like, oh my god, I love that author. So, um, Gina's, that's the only book I read. And Tamara, I'm sorry, Gina's doing this thing the whole episode. I don't know if you notice, but every time she says something in confessional, she just starts cracking up at herself. Like, she's not even saying to be funny. She'll be like, oh my God, I'm like, I look like a little girl going to school. She is like, and she's like really highlighting her front teeth, too.

Like, she is just, she is delighted. with herself and i say this is someone who often laughs at my own jokes too which is okay but at least we legitimately laughed ourselves she's like fake laughing at herself it's bizarre like she knows it's not funny she's just trying to like yeah i'm gonna sell you guys fake it they can make it oh my god you're being fake so um they are trying to bike and jean's like they think like cycling to a whole nother level here like you have to be like freaking like what's his name lance armstrong no wait no he's national We know he is a bike. Okay, this is honestly, Ronnie, this is like one of those moments where I'm like not only like laughing, I'm laughing a lot.

Because like the Lance Armstrong, Neil Armstrong mix up is like legitimately like so funny to me. Like I almost feel bad by how funny it is. Neil Armstrong, Lance Armstrong, am I right? Gosh, such a moron. I believe that you wrote a bike. I do not believe that you wrote it to a school. So then Heather, Gretchen and Emily are going to. He wrote it into a tree, I think.

Yeah, she wrote it into a tree. So Heather, Gretchen, and Emily are arriving to go shopping. And Heather's like, love some retail therapy. So they try out some sunglasses. And, you know, it's like all fun in games. And they're asking Emily about how things are at home. And she's like, well, Shane sent me pictures of Luke and he'll put like, everything's okay now hanging out on the couch.

And I guess it's kind of his way of saying, I'm sorry. But, you know, he's saying like, sorry, we're stressed out and yelling on the phone or whatever. so it's probably also way of saying like actually everything's cool now so go enjoy yourself yeah she's sober day and she says you know it's going to be a lifelong struggle with luke i'm sorry is there a child in the country that doesn't have tantrums like they don't want to go somewhere i just she's making me crazy with this i don't even see i mean look i also if he's on the spectrum i'm you know i also don't want to well but well we don't know what his diagnosis She said his diagnosis.

She said it wasn't. He's not on the spectrum after all that he's got a disability. She listed on a couple weeks ago. Yeah, she listed. Well, either way, I mean, it does sound like it will be a lifelong journey, et cetera. But like, actually, I don't know what point I'm making. I'm just talking. I'm just talking.

So Emily is like, oh, I was so stressed out, but I was like, do I need to go home? Yes, it's hard. to go back to your home, so small, so small. But you always have to remember. How do you even find it? You know, I wonder how people, when they're sitting in an airplane, they say, look, there's my house like me, you know, as we see from a town away. But how do you do that?

Emily, when you go onto Google Maps, do you ever say to yourself, why do they even bother putting my address on here, right? I mean, it's barely been in a house. I mean, does every blade of grass get a mention on Google Maps now? Am I right? Google Craps. You just have to go on for all the crappy little houses. Use a micro camera.

Oh, I was thinking, baby, I should go home. It's like, whatever. Get a nanny. She's like, oh, God, she always talks me off the edge with my kids. I appreciate that. Of course. I love you. Emily Simpson.

That is your name, right? So now the other ladies are in the park. And Shannon, this is actually a little stressful. because Shannon was biking like crazy. Now, the thing is this, I feel like Newport Beach and Orange County is all full of bike paths and everything. But I guess Shannon just doesn't.

Maybe Shannon has like not wanted to get back onto a bike ever since David Bador essentially strapped her to a Peloton. It was like, if you want to save this marriage, start peddling bitch. He's like, happy Monday. Here's a Peloton. That was so horrible. And when he strapped her feet,

I'm not laughing that he bought her that. I'm just laughing at that scene because she scrapped her. feet into the peloton and then couldn't get out. I just was staring at the cameraman for help. And he was like, no, we're going to film this. Classic. So, yeah, this is where she's wearing her like knitted American flag shirt and just driving like an idiot, like being the most American American on the road.

And this is serious. Like everyone's going really fast and she's doing like a wacky Shannon scene. And they're in like a park. There's pedestrians too. Like I really thought she was going to crash into someone. I mean, they already crashed into a boat last. episode she crashed into about she she don't don't put everybody else in this it was Shannon B door if you ever looped does this jacuzzi have a second floor by the way

does it have a second floor no okay guys I just searched on my telephone and there is a waffle place where you can make your own druggie waffles we should go we love drug waffles now. We are youthful. Hey, everyone, we are cooking. These stroop waffles will be busting. I can't wait to tell one of the Joshes from Bravo's million dollar listing, remember that show, John Pierre, and tell them that I'm doing something wacky. So the stoop waffle guy is like, oh, a stroop waffles. It's not from the 1800s. It was called poor man's cookie. Oh, God, we should have brought Gina. Emily does actually, she goes, You're in the wrong place.

Why is that? He said poor man's cookie, Heather. If you're making a joke, I am not amused because I'm deeply uncomfortable with the concept. I didn't know this about stoop waffles. They called them the poor man's cookie because the baker made it from leftover cookies and left over bread. What the hell?

It was like leftover, leftover like ingredients. that they just because it was so what do you do you crumble them all up make them into a ball and then put them with some caramel and just flatten it well delicious you took the thing i took a class i made a delicious drop waffle and uh i don't know maybe back in the day made in 1800s they did use like leftover cookies or something but it was essentially a very simple like flour and sugar kind of recipe where you add like water and an egg i don't even know if there was any leavener in it i I don't remember. Maybe there was some baking soda. I think, I don't know. She got fired. What?

Sorry. Leva. Okay. So, you don't know if there was like a leavener. No, I don't think there's a leavener because they don't rise, right? You squish them. They don't really rise. Yeah. And so then you, you make this matter. It does. It helps it rise. Yeah. I don't think you, I don't know. Sometimes you may even need it for something like a waffle. But like either way, I agree. Then you put it in a special dedicated drip waffle machine that you see. saw and they were I I wish I had the I have the recipes somewhere in my things but like you you cook it like a very specific number like my instructor was like some people say you do it for one minute and 19 seconds others say 59 seconds like a really weird like like I'm below deck when they say it's 1 23 p.m it was like a really weird number and then you you open it and then you have this thing it's almost like one of those what are those like a scraper they scrape like a like a

sticker what do you call those things you know the scrapers like the metal scraper thing you slide it under and then you have to I think I think you maybe you flip it or I don't remember what was but you put the caramel on it and you close it up and oh you split in half and you put the caramel on it this is the most boring retelling of the street waffle I'm sorry everyone this is not it's made it more difficult than the damn stoop waffle I should have I should have been I should have prepared my pontification and I'm doing it on the fly and it's just really not killing it No, you're doing great. I'm following you.

I'm following you. But you're a little scraper. You actually, the little waffle thing, it actually splits in half. Then you put the caramel on that. You close it back up again. And it's,

oh, fabulous. Oh, yeah. Well, those are great now. But they're also, I actually can,

your teeth. I'm surprised that you like him so much, because you're so teeth, um, health conscious, like you take really good care of your teeth. And those things are terrifying to me. I mean,

I've got caps and grounds and stuff. Oh, they're not like, chewy like that. They're like, it's like, a soft caramel it's like a soft like it's like whenever i have them on the airplane who's a delta that gives you those my united you're about to come out oh united oh no no no um no but it's like a soft luscious

caramel it just sort of like you like you bite it's like a real cheese i'm gonna eat my fucking face off i literally almost bought like it was so good i almost like bought myself a stroke offel machine and i was like i cannot i am i am okay with a single use appliance but even this i have my limits that being said if someone wants to do donate a strip offel machine to the Mandel Kerr and Kelly household, I will not say no. Because I cannot, in my own, in my heart of hearts, I cannot buy my own one. But if it just arrived, then I know that I was not being ridiculous. Yeah.

Watch we get like 10 stroke waffle machines now. Yes, do it, Ben. So Heather's like, poor man, rich, poor man's waffle, rich man's waffle. I don't care. It's a waffle and I'm not touching it. And then she tries to be relatable. She goes, I mean, it's so good. And I made it myself.

What was that thing from Shake and Bake? And I helped, right? Isn't that how it goes? You know, just give me a line that's relatable. You know, the pores watch Shake and Bake commercials, right? They eat it all the time, right? Badumpch. Alfredo, that was terrible.

The audience laughed before he could even do your badumcha. I mean, oh, no, it's Alfredo. Oh, dear. His hand got stuck in the Stroophoffle machine. That explains it. I, okay, someone get him some bomb. Alfredo exploded. All right, give me a new Alfredo.

Get me a new Alfredo. Oh, so sad. It's parting words. So now we go back to the other ladies having a picture. Nick in a park and Gina's like oh my god Jen I saw your Instagram and like I'm so proud of you posting a post without rain I'm like you so proud I feel so proud this was actually hilarious because like Gina just basically says like I saw your Instagram and I was so proud of you and then we see the footage of Jen doing a workout and I was like what is Gina talking about is

like, Jen doing a hotel workout. I'd forgotten the larger context. And she hadn't said it yet that like, oh, yeah, Jen is working on having a solo content. It's this arc that they introduced last episode and are now wrapping up this episode. So, but at first I was like, why is, I was like, this is how sad Gina is that she's just like proud of a hotel workout when she sees one on Instagram. That's a new wave of feminism. It's like, wow, you have your own Instagram account now. You work out on your own Instagram account now. It's like burning a bra. And she's like, yeah, she did it.

It was just her. And she's like, oh my God. Thank you, Gina. Thank you so much. You know, because when you said I need my own account at first, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, Gina? What the fuck are you talking about? And, yeah, we see a flashback to them giving her a pep talk about posting your own content.

You know, it's almost like Ryan's like a little bit of a safety net for you, you know? Kind of like Travis's balls. He's a little bit of a safety net. She was living in a parking lot. Yeah, he's a little bit of a safety net. And she was like, yeah, like, sometimes I feel like it's in the way of you developing that inner confidence. Yeah, well, you know what? Sometimes they get in my head because, you know, Ryan has a very colorful past.

Yeah, he was a playboy for a long time. He says music pictures. Pretty colorful. That's how to mean what you need her? So Jen's like, yeah, and sometimes I think, am I going to be enough? Uh, no, the answer will be no. So Gino says, yeah, you need to feel like you're enough. You need to be enough, remember Bobby?

And Jen is like, yeah, like, when I'm 72 and shit's falling and things like, and we're still like, okay, like, I'm still your girl. Like, I'm still here. I'm still her for you, right? I want to feel that way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You can feel that way. Maybe not with Ryan, though.

That's like a piece of pizza looking at me straight in the face and being like, you only want me, right? No. I want all of you. you. That's not how this works. I'm not eating one piece of pizza for the rest of my life. Get the fuck out of here. Get into my belly so I can move on to the next. This is, and actually, I kind of like this micro moment because she's talking about how she feels like, you know, I still feel like a young woman, but I know I don't look like a young woman anymore. And they are all like, yeah, we all have insecurities. And Shannon's like, no,

that's a realistic insecurity. We've all been through it. We've been, we're divorced women. And at one point, we're marrying the person. We thought we'd be spending the rest of our lives with. And then another moment, we're trying to be wacky on a bike while your friends call you a can of biscuits. So yeah, I'm a little insecure. Yeah. And my pizza comment wasn't even like all of them. Like, oh yeah, you get some guy. They're all going to cheat on you and leave you. I don't mean everybody. But Ryan specifically, yeah, I just, I just look at Ryan like, um, like a sex addict. I think, yeah, he's like a sex addict. I don't think he's going to be, I think he's going to cheat on you. I think everybody knows he's going to cheat on you.

I was just sending pictures, like dick pictures, on accident to your friend last year. So, yeah, I don't know that I would trust that. Yeah, I really don't. But there's also a part of me that says, you know what, have fun with him while, you know. Yeah. I know this is so, I'm not necessarily saying dump him. I'm just saying, you got to kind of know what you're buying, you know. Right.

Like, it's like a little fucked up. But there's a part of me that says, you know what? You know what's going to, you know what's going to eventually like the. bottom will fall out. But in the meantime, you like him. He likes you. Enjoy. And then you'll figure it out later. I know it should be more like, leave him and go to someone who, who sees you for you and loves you for you and will always want to be there for you. And I feel like largely, yes, that's how it should be. But there's a part of me that says, you know, at this point, I can't, I can only, you know, throw the pizza against the wall so many times. So just,

just go and have fun. And then you'll, you'll cross that bridge when, when he has sex with it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. But good luck. Good luck. So Tamara's like, Yeah, you need to establish yourself financially. Okay. You know, you don't want to be depending on some man. Which I agree. She's like, pay for your own kids, you know, and then you'll, you won't be so stressed out that he's leaving you all the time. Because one of the reasons you're so stressed out that he's going to leave you is money based. So if you're okay on your own, you know, which I think is good advice. And Jen's like, well, it's amazing to have a. real conversation with Tamara without snark. I just wish she could do this more often. I just love this, Tamara. God, I want to hug her. God, I want to hug her. But I won't. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for

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