Watch What Crappens - #3063 Below Deck Med S10E06 Part 1: Vegan for Vendetta

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

This is part 1 of a 2-parter The vegans are stil miffed on Below Deck Mediterranean, but there are other (plant-based) fish to fry now: a sudden storm, a missing headband, and Spanish dancing mandate. Meanwhile, V makes a splash as a deckie.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. That's what happens, watch what happens when there's so much than crap is. Welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the irascible and hilarious. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

The harassable. No, irascible. What's that mean? It's like irascible. It's like your, I can describe it. Like, irascible is like you're, are you looking it up? I saw your computer flash on it. I am looking it up now because now I'm afraid, put on the spot that I'm going to give the wrong definition.

Having or showing a tendency to be easily angered, but it's like usually like used, but it's like usually in a funny context, like, you know, okay, I see where we're at today. Erascible is like usually a fun, you made it sound so lovely. Then you're like, okay, let me look up the definition. Angry bitch, that's what it means. This angry, this angry gay bitch, Ronnie Karum, everybody. No, you know, like they usually will say it for certain comedians. It's correct. Like the irascible, like George Carlin.

I'm kicking a true adjective out of bed I love a true adjective Well hi everybody Hi Ben Are you doing today We're both kind of an earth-tony flesh-colored tones

Are you in gray or like a cream? I can't tell you're gray But what you can't see is I'm also in a Wawa T-shirt Some of the best TikTok fights happen in a Wawa Babe That's correct

In a Wawa fight Well we're going to go from the Wawa to the med med because it's below deck med day before we get into that thanks to everyone who came to crappy hour last night was a real fun one as usual uh so thanks to everyone who tuned in we do that every other week so join us and then um we alternate that with amazon live which will be coming up next week or doing something live on mondays um we're also really excited yeah next week is bravo con and we're going and we're going to have a meet up so come meet up with us um do we have a location Sure don't. Do we have an idea? Sure don't. If anyone has a location in Vegas on the strip, you want to give us for a meetup, we're in. Let's do it. We've been trying. We've been trying to set something up. And we have, we do have like, we have a team that is trying to get stuff going. But guess what? It's not easy. So I might just be meeting outside of a hotel and being like, hey, party in the party in the park. Grand Lux Hotel. Grand Lux Hotel. Grand Lux Cafe, everyone. Who knows where it's

It's a typical crappins event for sure. Yeah, like tentatively, we are aiming for Saturday at 10 o'clock. But that's subject to change. It may go to Friday. But right now, we're aiming for Saturday at 10. So mark your BravoCon calendars. Yeah, we'll announce it on Instagram or something. So just check our socials.

Welcome to the show, everybody. Oh, also Sunday night, guess what? They're switching it up on Bravo. They are going to have Potomac, but they are also going to show the last episode of Wife Swap. So it's going to be a little bit different schedule this coming week. So everybody be prepared. Don't miss Wife Swap.

It's the Wendy episode. It's so funny because, you know, you know, Life Swap premieres and the Wendy's news breaks, they have to push the premiere. You know, the idea that the sensibility is like, oh, well, it's sort of in poor taste to air this Wendy episode, which was supposed to be the premiere.

It's a little bit in poor taste. So just exploit the situation. She just got arrested. It's like, wow, Bravo is going to be a little respectful. Hey, guess what? Now we're going to put it right after Potomac the way everyone who watches Potomac and see Wendy's dad off. I'm like, they're totally exploiting it,

totally getting as much Wendy mileage as they can by putting it right after Potomac. Well, yeah, I mean, they should have done it the first week. Now it's not the time to get moralistic, Bravo. You haven't done it yet. Why start now? Okay, get out of here. Show it to me when I needed it.

I needed it in my veins that week. Well, tonight will be the, one that I think we're all looking forward to the most. I mean, everyone who's having a viewing party to see the Emily Simpson wife swap? Okay, raise your hand. Raise your hand if you invited the neighborhood to gather around to watch Emily Simpson because I know that's going to be exciting for everyone. I watched it already. Was it good? Yeah, the pig is the star. There's a pig in this one and it's the star and Emily's like, what? I'm always eating my purse because you carry sandwiches in there. Why do you think? It's one of those. The pig is just, the pig's like,

stores to social media. I've had it. It's talking back. It's putting my family in a bad position. The pig is talking to people about my children. Yeah, it was pretty good. Okay, but today, guess what we're here for? Below deck Mediterranean, right? Dun, down, below deck med, big day, huge day. People get really upset because they don't have enough minerals on their plates. Mineral. So Josh has just, he's just stormed off the boat, which is funny because this episode is called The Tempest. Talk about a tempest in a teapot.

More like a tempest on a boat. Then the tempest goes off the boat for a little bit, and then comes back and it's just a gentle cloud. So that's what Josh is doing. He's stormed off. He's stormed up because he's steaming mad about the vegan situation. Yeah, he's super mad about it. We all knew he was crazy when he was like,

oh, I meditate, and I was at an ashram, and, oh, I love using human feces to grow vegetables. I was like, you're a serial killer. And he's a clown. And he's a clown that travels with clown makeup to do chef work. I mean, that's an insane person, never trust him, and a thin mustache. He's got like a Simpsons, you know the guy on the Simpsons with a mustache? It's like a Simpsons, not Snardly or whatever his name is. But it's like one who looks like he's been to prison a lot, and he just has that real thin, barely filled in.

mustache never trust those people yeah oh yeah yeah he really should uh he should just join a posse a posse of insane clowns what would they call that he's i don't know i don't know god you said it up you said insane you said he was like an insane clown i was like how did you not add the third third word there because their music isn't harmonious to my lifestyle the insane clown but they think about that i don't want to hear a bunch of you're off fending the juggalo community right now i want to hear them out but Whatever happened to stormy weather, you know what I mean? Whatever happened to Stormy Daniels?

I think she won her case, didn't she? She got a lot of money and then got that lawyer thrown in jail. So she won a lot of money and then the lawyers stole a lot of money from her and then he went to jail. Isn't that what happened to Stormy Daniels? I don't know, but quite frankly, I'm shocked that Bravo hasn't had her as a blow-deck guest yet because she seems really like the type. Oh, my God. Do you know who that would make really jealous is Captain Sandy's wife? She's my baby.

Sorry, I got to go. I'm watching my favorite show. Stormy. Wait a minute. I thought your favorite show was wind. Baby. Baby. So, um.

He storms off the boat. The guests are actually at the table sticking up for Josh. They're like, oh, shut up about your minerals. Okay. He's doing a good job. And that guy's like, there is literally nothing healthy in front of me. And then we cut to see what's in front of him. And it's all cooked vegetables and glorious, healthy stuff.

This guy's just an asshole. And someone pointed out in the comments that he's carrying a leather Louis Vuitton bag, which is really hilarious, too. That's amazing. Yeah. That's truly amazing. This guy's an idiot, which, by the way, I'm just going to do this really quickly one more time. As long as we're talking about idiots, in case people haven't heard the crappy hour episode, the biggest idiot is actually me because I was the one who thought I'd found a smoking gun with Stacey's contract yesterday in the Potomac recap. I was like, look, it was signed five, five, 24.

The season already aired. The season had legitimately not even aired yet. didn't air until the fall. It had just started filming. The date was not a smoking gun at all. And I did a victory lap acting like I was Sherlock fucking Holmes. I was there with you. And I'm just a fucking idiot.

You want me to add to it? First of all, I was there with you. I'll take the blame for that too. We're dummies. But then the second thing was then they were talking about a stripper. Because Wendy was saying the only time she's been attracted to a woman was this bad stripper in in D.C. with braces.

But we read it. We were like, oh, she was a bad stripper. Why would you be attracted to a bad stripper? You know that that means good, right? One of the comments was like, do you think Michael Jackson was really singing, I'm bad, I'm bad, like it was a confession? Like, I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it.

I interpreted the bad the correct way, but I just thought like it, I thought like it was more that she was still a janky stripper because she had braces. But I understood the bad part, but I still was like with you because I was like, what? Like, wow, this random ass, like, janky stripper with the braces. Well, I should have.

But sometimes then when you're going over your notes later, you don't remember it. You don't remember how things are said. This is like with the Apple Sox. Well, I'll never forget the Apple Sox incident where we talked for like 10 minute about Ramona getting Apple Sox. And we're like, what is that? Is that some sort of like new device? And like we did a whole bit.

And then I think I think it was that just like a brand of socks. I don't even remember at this point. Yeah. Okay. So Josh is upset. Okay. So the guest, one of the guests is like, you know what? Maybe Josh doesn't understand what you're trying to say because he's really good.

And then this guy's just all pouting like, well, no one's standing up for me. So Josh is really frustrated, obviously. And he's just, you know, around the corner of the boat being like, fuck off, fuck off. So he told, we find out a little bit about this psycho. He's like, yeah, back in Mission Star Restaurants. I used to have the breaking point. I had the nickname, nickname, it was the Rottweiler in the kitchen. Because when I snapped, I snapped.

I snapped, and I remember, like, grabbing a chef by his neck and, like, putting his head into a recipe pack. But, you know, that's the old Josh. New Josh goes to ashrams, loves human shit on vegetables. So I'm the, no, you're not, you're still an old psycho. And didn't he tell a story? Wasn't he the one who told a story of a chef that he was working with, like, shoving his face into an iron or something? Yeah. For hot table?

He was like, yeah, last week he was like, I remember one time getting my face shoved in. And then now he's proudly declaring how he shoved someone's face into a recipe pack, whatever that is. So I'm not like you, you are a monster. And you're saying you're telling this like with like a like a laugh on your face. Like isn't this crazy that what we do? I'm like, no, you're a lunatic. That's totally unacceptable behavior. You're cooking food.

Why are you acting like you're in the trenches of like Afghanistan right now? Like you were asked to make a corn on a car. It's like saute your green beans that move on with your life. Oh yeah. I'm fucking bake a, bake a fucking, like, roast of red bell pepper. You know what I mean? Which I did last night, by the way. And I did not have to slam anyone's face into any sort of thing on the counter.

Crazy. And he's like, I'm not going to let Carlos affect me. He isn't even the primary. Okay, okay, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. He just honks his nose. And so he goes back.

And Joe is now eating all the leftover. in the kitchen. He's just walking around eating it. The second the chef leaves, these people walk into the kitchen and just start eating shit off the counter. Yeah, they're like birds. Birds at like in an outdoor restaurant. They're vultures. They're on your plate.

Pecking away. It's terrible. Yeah. So he asks Josh, he gives Josh a hug. And he's like, oh my man, his mouth is all full. It's like, want to finger up your asshole? And then I've never forget that about Joe. I don't know why that's the only thing I remember. about Joe. It's talking about how he wanted somebody to finger his butt. So then we cut to the guest. They're talking about their excursion. They had a great time. And they're like, it was

awesome. What a great excursion. And guess who's mad? Fegan Carlos, fucking asshole Carlos, who can't be happy about one goddamn thing. The plus one. He goes, he goes, you know, they dropped us off in an undesirable neighborhood, but they, you know, they hosted an Olympics here. So I know there's something amazing here. They're just not showing it to us. Are you saying you came to Barcelona and we're hoping to see like the stadium from 1992 like a 30 year old stadium when you have like buildings that are like hundreds years old like art nouveau gaudy all this beautiful stuff and he's like ew gross show me the show me the swimming pool the Olympic swimming pool I want to see a diving board I mean this guy's a total idiot he's an imbecile Nouveau-Riche idiot who I'm not even sure if he's

Nouveau reach I think he's just Nouveau and then I think he just was like brought along and I I think this, the sweet lady who is like the primary is probably putting the bill for him. And he's acting like he, you know, is at the main table at King's Landing or whatever. Oh, yeah. That was real fancy. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, this guy's a little asshole. And also, can I just tell you the Olympics are not held in the nicest neighborhoods anyway.

So I don't know what you're talking about. Olympics are also like, where can we trash? You know, what's a part of town we can just absolutely. just trash, you know? Let's put it in fucking, you know, the end of Queens or whatever. Like, Forrest Lauder, like the U.S.

The end of Queens. Isn't that where they had it in New York? Was it out there? Flushing. Yeah, Flushing Meadows. But also, we saw the excursion

and they literally were in the most scenic, beautiful section. There was like walking around adorable streets. And he's like, ew, gross. I'm like, you were, where are you? Like, what are you talking about?

Is there a neighborhood where the buildings aren't so old? He's tacky. I'm actually embarrassed for Carlos because he's really trying to be fancy and he just looks so tacky, you know? And even the other guests are making fun of him now. They're like you're ridiculous. Like no one is co-signing it. And in fact, I actually think that these people are probably much nicer

and more giving than they are being presented. But because he's such a bitch, productions like let's lead with that that these are all like angry like um picky people and then Carlos is kind of like the the most of that you know because then you know in the end they actually wind up being like lovely and they have like a very numbers of all time probably has tippers of all time so I kind of think that they were like more generous than they were presented but that the story was that Carlos was being obnoxious and like you can't have the story of them being generous and Carlos being obnoxious like it's more fun he's the one that seems like he's the one that seems

like the asshole i mean they did have the couple ladies last time who went and ordered you know they're like what kind of food do we want how about pizza pasta fish elephant like they named 30 things um but they weren't mean like they seemed pretty nice all the one who's an asshole is carlos and we all know that person um who is in our circle or our family who every time you go somewhere they are just the asshole of the waiter they're rude about everything and everyone else has to just sit there Because if you're like, stop being rude, then you look like you're not being on the team of your family member or whatever. And I think that that's what everybody is victim to in this, like victim to Carlos. Carlos's attitude where it's like, okay, well, let's just be polite and let Carlos do his thing.

It doesn't mean we're assholes. But, you know, when you're around an asshole and you let them be an asshole, you're kind of an asshole too. That's just how it is. That's how it is. Whoa. Get your apple socks. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial.

so now we're just like more more eating et cetera and aisha and v you're talking about the schedule and you know v is going to be on breakfast but you know v is still doing double duty uh and everything and um we cut to a guest and everyone's just basically like i'm going to bed everyone's depressed by the meal or at least carlos took it out of them so they all go to bed they can't enjoy everything because fucking carlos is there so they're like bye yeah yeah yeah he's like ruining everything and then joe and kizzie or being flirty while they like help like clearing the table and stuff and Joe's like oh kizzy is like the next level of flirt and she's like the way that I act and the stuff that I say I should just

should not have a boyfriend oh god both of you know with the lies you tell each other it's to yourself it's just like that's enough already there's no crime and just wanting to fuck somebody on a boat just go fuck him and stop acting like you're in the middle of some rom-com kizzy yeah Jesus, you've dated the guy two months, okay? It's not, you're not in a real relationship for two months. Fuck whoever you want. Be quiet. Mm-hmm.

And then Joe's like, I think I've got a stronger relationship with my underwear. Think he's had with her boyfriend. It's like, okay, all right. I don't know if you have a good relationship with your underwear since it seems like you're always fucking people. So I think it's always coming off. Oh, well, putting that in the Trace Seneca show. He's entered that part of manhood where you start. losing your hair and you're just getting everything you can you know yeah right before it goes

you know and as a man who's lost his hair i get it you know you're like oh my god what's gonna happen i'm gonna lose my hair my my penis is never gonna work what's gonna no one's ever gonna fuck me again and then you lose your hair and then you find people who have like daddy warbucks fetishes and then you know they're out there too it's okay but he doesn't have another bald person there telling him that so he's just grabbing onto whatever lifeboats he sees you know and every time he gets a boner one little more follicle falls out and just drifts across the camera like the feather in the forest gump it's just drifting away so uh kizzie of course guys calls tommy Tommy Tommy can you hear me so she calls Tommy he's like hello but he won't be home for 45 minutes so she's going to have to

wait guys cannot wait to see what happens well we be able to wait well it's the next morning we'll never know how that 45 minutes went because now we skip all the way to 6 a.m. Josh is in the kitchen and he's muttering to himself, fucking Carlos because he knows that Carlos is going to make his life hell again today. And Aisha is talking to him like, So what are you going to make this morning? And he's like, well, I'm going to throw around, throw a lot of things around for Carlos,

just hitting preferences and things like that. And then Captain Sandy is looking outside and she goes, you know what? Let me tell you something, America. Let me give you what I see. Right now it looks calm out there. Quiet as can be. sort of like Norma's dating queue just to hear a pin drop.

So I think we got to get off the dock. This is our only chance to give these clients the experience that they paid for. Gosh, guys, I look out there. It's just so calm. The water is like Norma's DMs. There's no one in them. Time to get out there and have a good time. So we see the credits rolling on her favorite show, Wind on the screen.

She's like, ah, wind is dying down. That was a great season. I mean, let's get to it. So Nathan is bossing people around, and then V has to pull some lines. And V's like, oh, my God, I really don't want to disappoint Nathan with this first done talking. But it's like my first shot of a trial on the deck team, and there's like no room for fuck up. Put my trauma to the side. Guys, I'm going to throw a rope.

Guess what, guys. She throws the rope and is, she's good. She's doing a good job at roping, rope things. et cetera. And so Joe's like, you did a good job. And she's like, I'm part of the deck team now. We did it, Joe. We did it.

Nathan's like, she's an absolutely fantastic. So then Max is like, oh, the Queen Victoria just arrived at the deck and like, you should have been there as long as you know. He's already like an afterthought. Like no one cares about Max anymore. His storyline for the season is done. Now he's sad. Yeah.

And Joe's like, wow, what she's doing right now, if she carries on throughout the season with us, she's going to be the best deck. And anyone could ever ask for. So then we go to Aish outside and she's cheering for her. Everyone's like, oh my God, yes, me, you're doing it. And Sandy is looking at her through a pair of binoculars. She's like, oh, my God, let me tell you what I see.

Some pores both figuratively and literally. Okay. Whoa, didn't need these binoculars after all. She's not that far away. Whoa. Hey, I didn't realize that Bravo changed the schedule of not just Wife's fault. But wind, apparently there's a whole other episodes starting up now oh my god i gotta clear my afternoon a new episode of wind is starting up

would they split the season into what is this stranger things is it supersized oh my god out there guys bumpy so it's like oh she looks more natural doing deckwork than stew work what are we gonna do set a free into the world so uh max is talking about um talking to V about the pros and cons of being outside versus inside. He's like, yeah, you know outside it's so nice because it's like fucking adventure out here, you know, the unknown.

It can be a dolphin coming here or a boat. Or, you know, it could be so many things, but you're like in the galley and you're just like in the pantry, you don't know what's going to happen. Like if you're in pantry, you don't even see jellyfish going by that you can pet. You know, you miss all the fun. You don't even see the eyepatches for free in the ocean.

They call them jellyfish, huh? Um, so then, um, he's like, yeah, I love being outside because like outside's like amazing. Like I love outside, but it traumatizes me. He's like, oh, so, um, then Aisha is calling Nathan and she only needs V during breakfast and dinner that he can have for the rest of the time. And, um, she's saying, you know, it's good to test V and she's going to do great with just, Kizzy. It's like famous last words, am I right? So everyone, the crew's doing crew stuff. People are getting into their different uniforms.

Josh is pulling a kish out of the oven. Kizzy is ironing. The guests are still in bed and finally people are waking up. And then Nathan asked if he wants to watch some anchor stuff. And she's like, fuck yeah, I wanna watch some anchor. stuff i didn't come out to the deck to not watch the anchors am i right am i right hey is this a new show because i'm ready to watch some anchors guys let's get some toys in the water okay so now let's see you know just everyone's working ironing you know toys ladonna's going on a jet ski

i've never seen someone enjoy a jet ski as much as ladonna did that was pretty cute she did She did enjoy it. She had a great time. La Donna, I know LaDonna's, like, great, and she's just buried under all the awful Carlos coverage in this. The jet ski's, like, puttering along. It's going like, release on. I was like, just screaming.

So funny. So, uh, B does a knot. And it's very exciting. She does a knot. And, um, and Joe doesn't even know how to do the knot. So it's like, whoa, V knows a knot. And B's like, I'm so good at tying knots because when Bonn, was my instructor and teaching me everything he knew about boats.

This man was like, he was like cut throughout. He was like a veteran. He was deployed to Afghanistan and he was not playing around. And she basically talks about how she learned knots from her ex. So yeah, she can do knots really well, guys. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, I can tie a knot in an ice storm with my eyes closed. Yeah.

And I can like tie a bowline in an ice storm with my eyes closed. Yeah. Sounds useful next time you're sailing a yacht in an ice storm. Um, so people finally wake up and going to get ready for breakfast. They, they, she's telling, she's telling them about like, what breakfast is, et cetera. And then Carlos is like, yeah, I'm ready for that. Not eating, not eating nothing fake. Just putting straight freshness in my body.

That's what I want. And she's like, okay. They've served you nothing but fresh food. What are you talking about? He's acting like they've served him nothing but fruit rollups and snickers bars. Sir. This is a, this is someone who became a vegan because it was trendy. This is someone who.

I definitely saw it on TikTok and it's like, I want to have like nothing fake in my body. I don't think this is someone who became a vegan for any ethical reason or for any dietary reason. I think this is someone who did it purely to be trendy and now is like really upset that they're like that they're trying to be like a vegan influencer somewhere. And I think it's a straight up control thing. It's people who don't have control in their lives and they feel like powerless. And so they come up with and it's not just veganism. It's anything. It's like any kind of extreme.

dietary thing that they can put other people through shit because obviously there are vegans who do it for the right reasons and there are people who are really gluten-free like they have to be gluten-free because of celiac and stuff like that and then there are people who are just like they want to be that person at the restaurant who's like was this prepared on a different counter than everything else because I need my own counter for this to be and you're never going to convince me that those people don't exist and he's one of them you know he's just like oh it's not good enough. I'm the only person here who's important enough for minerals and I'm going to make a stink about it wherever the fuck I go. You know what? A wise person once said, I love control and that

wise person is the new sky rizzy jingle. That's not a crap tower about last night. He's basically a new sky rizzy jingle, which by the way, will never be as good as the original one. Let's be honest. And you know what? I would like to, if If I was serving Carlos breakfast, I would say, Carlos, I have one piece of sage advice for you. And you'd be like, sage, that's not fresh. And I'd be like it actually is, it's a plant. Don't smudge me. What I'll say to you is nothing is everything.

Okay? Yeah. Okay. Nothing is everything. Enjoy your sage. Enjoy your sage cashew cheese. There's a Reddit thread. And the Reddit thread says, Skyrizy controls no everything.

That's the headline. And then it says, First, the song was nothing is everything. Now it's control is everything. So which is it? I love someone being flustered and irascible and going to the internet being like, I've had enough. Is it nothing is everything or is it controls everything?

What am I supposed to do when I see the commercial? You know what that is, though? It's a good point. That's a good point and it's a good question. What the fuck are you trying to do, Skyrisie? Make up your mind. They're like, we don't have to. We have crones.

we can say whatever we want what are you going to do what are you going to do attack a person with crones yes your songs don't make sense you can't tell me in one second nothing is everything and then be like oh control is everything and also are you like an abuser like i'm not going to be in a relationship with sky rizzi they don't sound healthy they don't sound like a healthy person yeah there's a big discussion because it's like someone says i thought sky rizzi was for plexericis now it's for crones and someone else is like maybe it's a two for one thing and then someone says i thought nothing was everything it's a zen koan grasshopper and then someone goes, for us, it's $80,000 a year.

Oh, my gosh. Cheese and crackers. Wow. Crazy. Skyrizzies Reddit is a real interesting thing. Yeah, you never know where the internet's going to take you. My chair needs some Skyrizy. Okay, so now we go to the kitchen.

There's a lot of food, ready to go out. And Josh is like, oh, my God, I'm absolutely getting crocked in the ass. And now it's time for everybody to get up and go to breakfast. So we get soft apricots, guacamole, bops for keesh, beaten mango salad with pomegranate, and homemade hash browns. They love the keesh. Love the keesh. And then someone's like, so vegans, how are you liking your breakfast? Which is a good question to ask Carlos.

I know. He likes the melon. And he seems to be like pretty chill. I think he's actually so hungry at this point that he doesn't have an in him to complain anymore. He just has melon and he's going to be happy. I think someone probably told him, stop being an asshole. You're not even paying for this. Stopping ridle with Donna.

Maybe that's what it was too. I hope that's what happened. Because I think he's about it today. Yeah, he's a little bit better. So the toys, my God, just after they put all the toys out, now they're all getting blown around because no one knew that this episode of wind was happening. They changed the schedule and now all the toys were out. we got all our toys out for a whole different we had we were all ready for that for an

episode of toys and it turns out it's an episode of wind happening and now it's a real it's real cluster fuck on the schedule speaking of toys i went to dsnieland and i went on something that had some of the toys characters buzz light ear has got to have bad knees that's it that's all i was like god that guy does not look healthy he's like well i'm a big action star i'm like your body is gigantic and you have these tiny little you've got like tiny little Sutton legs. He's got to have terrible means. I feel bad for him. And he looks like possibly he's got hemorrhoids

as well. Even in a Disney animatronic, he doesn't look healthy. I'm just pointing it out. Like, someone helped Buzz. I'm so glad you brought this up because it occurred to me that my favorite part of Sunday's Potomac episode, we didn't even mention in our recap. And I'm only remembering

it right now, which is that when the women were at the Alexander Hamilton House, Wendy is like looking at a statue and she's like, she's like, Oh, yeah, well, this is a, yeah, this is a one thing. It's because something said infinity. She says, yeah, well, you know, it's infinity and beyond, right? And Stacey puts her hand on Wendy's arm and goes, no, that's Buzz Light Year.

That's Buzz Light Year. I reround that three times and I cannot believe we forgot to mention that on the recap. It was so just the way that Stacey sort of like kindly just put her hand on Wendy's shoulder. like she was like a like Wendy was some like old baddy lady who had lost her mind like no no no that's not from American history that's just a quote from Disney you're an academic that's that's buzz like here commercials here comes one right now so Kizzy goes to V and she's like wow guess what I taught Joe how to do a knot.

Yeah, I can do like a bow line in my sleep. I learned it from bow. Yeah, I learned it from him. He was in Afghanistan before the drama. But yeah, he was really good. You know, in that Afghanistan war tying knots, he was so good. He got a purple heart for that. Yeah.

Yeah. He was actually a paratrooper. And whenever he would arrive into base from a plane from the sky, they'd be like, Oh, God. Look, there's knots up there. Oh, what? Hey, everyone, get out of the way. Knots landing. Notts landing. Notts landing. Thank you.

Thank you. Somewhere the insane clown posse laughed at that one. Not the insane clown posy jokes. It seems much better, huh? Much better. You just have to do a worse joke later. Oh, my God. It's sweet, sweet. Wind just went up to 17 knots. Holy moly, guacamole.

Wow, where did that wind come from? Jesus is crazy. Is that vegan guacamole? Is that vegan guacamole? Oh, it's an expression, Carlos. Sorry, it's my scene now. Oh, guys, guys, we got to get all the toys in, okay? I'm going to need Victoria.

Get Victoria in here. She knows not. She learned him in Afghanistan. And she's like, all right, no problem. Kissing it out there, no lady. Yeah, yeah. I just, we need to get that slide up before it rips. God, you know what?

Some of these days, I really regret putting out all the toys for no reason at every moment of the day. Jesus. I know. All right. Well, this guy, it's getting so windy here that we have to call her Victoria, not V. Okay. Calm water is for V. But stormy weather, that's Victoria.

Get Victoria out here right now. Yeah. So they start doing this. And it's like, 28 knots. Holy crap. That's like a rom-com horror movie with Sandra Bullock. We're all going to die. Well, she does have that, wait, she does have that,

what was the name of that movie she did with Ben Affleck that had a weather name in it? It was like storm, when it storms. I don't know. Birdbrain was my favorite. What was that one called? Birdbox. Birdbox. Bird box.

I love. I love bird box. Forces of nature. Forces of nature is Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock. So she is kind of like here with us right now because there's a force of nature and it's pulling the tender away. Oh no. The line to the tender just snapped.

Wow. I probably should get mad at someone for tying a bad line on that tender but doesn't work with the overall storyline. So we'll ignore that part. God, Sandra Bullock is always with us. She's not even dead yet and she's still always in my heart. Think of her every day. I wonder what Sandra Bullock's doing right now.

He's with us when we're awake and she's with us while you were sleeping. Oh, okay. All right, eyebrows. Peter Gallagher. That's the only thing I can think of with that movie says, eyebrows. Okay, so things are blowing. It's windy. White caps. Get the toys in. It's so dangerous. It's so dangerous. God, I love that banana until it comes time to win. That banana could be a missile to someone's head. Don't let the banana kill Lidana. Hey, is a painting crew coming here to fix this boat? Because all I see are white caps. Get the toys in here. right now come on what is this the casting department for below deck because all I can see around here are white caps what

what is this Carl Radke's new teeth because all I can see are white caps no rope is snapping and you know it's it's mad it's mayhem out there everyone's dying there are people dying

the vegan flies away into a tornado He's gone. Then it brings him back. It's like, we don't want him. We've never sucked somebody into this tornado that complained about there not being enough minerals. Take him back. And it's fake Louis Vuitton, too.

The NBCU synergy with Wicked is really out of control. They're like, okay, here's what we're going to do. Let's have an activation on Blow Deck Med. Can we get a tornado on Blow Deck Med? I think that'd be really great. And then Cynthia Revo can come out of the tornado and she could sing on the boat and then go back in and she could take a vegan with her maybe.

I don't know. What do you guys? I've got an idea. Let's drop a ball on Hannah. something has changed within me it's the new it's the new schedule for wind actually yeah that's what's changed uh so it's mayhem out there everybody's dying people are jumping overboard kathy bates is just driving by in a little life boat like i wish i could save them all but i can't helen helen hunt has she's on a little speedboat she's throwing pexy cans into the tornado

So, ow. Hey, you had this Pepsi can get on the teak. Bill Pullman comes by. It's like, I think I'm in this movie. I honestly can't even remember anymore. Honestly, no, no, you're in while you were sleeping. We need the ghost of Bill Paxton for the twister reference. Thank you. So now, let's see, people are running for ropes and Max is on the radio. He's like, I've got to jump. I've got to jump. I must risk my life for this boat. take it easy don't hurt yourselves okay that's 27 knots of wind dun dun dun dun well they they're like oh my god the tender is floating away the tenders oh my god it's made it to morocco it's so far away but then like max just jumps on it from like the deck it's like right there it didn't

really float that far away it floated like a foot i mean i think christian went farther than the boat than the tender did yeah so the guts are kind of laughing because it's it is funny i think when you're inside and you just watch like poor people flying around almost dying to get a blow up boat you know so he's like oh the clips on the line of broke and one of the guests is like yeah you know what you guys you should have seen that the guy saved it he saved it and uh captain sandy's like well that's maxill that's what he does he's a savor of things god yeah love that banana yeah he's great he's really love that little bit the mediterranean is very unpredictable sometimes you order hummus and then you get olives instead you never know what you're going to get at the

mediterranean all right we're going to head back it can be dangerous out here so uh they are going to head back and then the guest is asking v if she's okay she's like yeah it's a little rough but i was born for this i'm on the exterior so a guest says the water's going to win and then another guest goes no she's winning that was impressive. And then someone else goes, yeah, she's winning now. And then someone else is like, who are we talking about? I don't know. But she's winning. The girl throwing a rope down as an anchor. The girl throwing the iron down as an anchor. Yeah, she's doing great. So now everybody's back on the boat. Everything's fine. And captain's like, debt crew, debt crew. Crates is averted.

We're going to head back. Good job, guys. That was not easy to be out there probably. You know what it was easy watching it. It was easy watching it. God, that filled me with joy. That was a good one. Anybody love Sandra Bullock? I'm thinking about it right now. I don't know why. I hope she's okay. Okay. Do you guys ever think that maybe Sandra Bullock will be Dorothy in the weekend sequel? God, that would work so well. Let's let's write a letter. Let's get a campaign going. I like that idea. You guys like that idea? No? Okay. So now, let's see. So Aisha is talking to Kizzy about how V is on deck now so laundry's fucked so

Kizzy has to do it. She's like so now it's time for them to do stuff. The guests go to their rooms and one of the guests is really annoyed I guess because they can't they just can't wait on this charter. You know they can't win. I think some of them may be a little seasick too

and so they're just like in their rooms being sad. Yeah which is fair I think. I think like I would be totally happy being in my room on the yacht. I'd be my laptop. I'd be on a bed. I'd be like running a substack. I'd be like, this is great. I'm like, that's my happy place. Yeah, but you know, 50,000 a day or whatever the hell they pay. It's not great. So now Nathan's like, all right, Kizzy, you're ready to keep it going because you've been

doing so well. So I'm going to have you throw this line over there. And you can do it, Kizzy. Everybody believes in you just won the purple heart. Oh, God, we're filming this. Captain Sandy, you got the binoculars on. All right, let's film this. Let's get it ready. Ready for posterity. Go, go. Go, V. Throw that line. And then she kind of misses it.

Throw the line. Throw the line onto that Barcelona, 1992 Olympic statue. You can do it. She does it, but she does it badly. So she's like so embarrassed. But whatever. She's like really good. And Nathan's really happy about it.

And he's like, I'll take V any day. We're working part time over Christian and Tessa. Working full time. Remember those two ding-dongs. And we see a clip of them being totally inept, trying to pull something out of the water. so v is basically like um whose decision is it if i stay can i stay can i say in the exterior i love the exterior so nathan's going to talk to the captain about it but now it's time for v to go get into her blacks

because it's time for dinner service so she's going to get into blacks and captain sandy's watching and she's like wow victoria i'm impressed yeah i'm still going to use the full word and she's just so good so then um the theme for tonight's dinner is high tea And Kizzy is going to direct this, you know, like do all the decorations and stuff. And she's like, so do you want to like Alice in Wonderlandie? That's my high tea. That's crazy tea. Not.

That's crazy tea. And on top of, and you're Kizzy, you're British. Also, like did. And I didn't pick up any sort of Alice in Wonderland theme from any of the guests. Like they just were also, by the way, why are you having high tea as your theme for dinner? That doesn't make any sense at all. Why don't you just have high tea? You literally can just have high tea.

yeah i don't know it's kind of weird so then uh joe and v eat together and uh it's flirting time everybody so he's like do you like the restaurant it's got good ambience hasn't it check yeah we should light a candle and be romantic i really like the way that you're the edges of your teeth touch every time you smile he's like you do that's just the romance taken over dinner Nathan walks by and's like oh look romance is blooming he's like no it's just a date I should we're just talking over dinner. And Nathan's like, I know, it's just a date, just a date.

So then it's just talking about dinner plans. And Josh is going to make three proteins, three salads, mushrooms, fries, and bread. So I don't know. I don't know if there's going to be enough minerals and healthy content in there for Carlos, but fingers crossed. I mean, look, just to go on Carlos's side for a second because I'm a bitch like that, the guy said who doesn't want salads. So you're making three salads. And also you tried serving in mushrooms last time, and he said that wasn't vegetable-y enough for him.

So you're serving in mushrooms again and fries and bread, which aren't going to be considered healthy. So I don't know if he's going to get away with this. Also, isn't this supposed to be high tea? That's why I said, what sort of theme is high tea for dinner? And also, shouldn't it be afternoon tea? Because I learned that afternoon tea is the posh one. High tea is where, like, the workers just stop and have tea at a high table. Didn't we learn that last year in Britain somewhere?

Like you actually want, if you want to be posh, you want to say afternoon tea. So this is all method. Girl, I wasn't paying attention. Here's what I thought of when we were having tea in Britain. This shit is so expensive. Tea is $20? Are you fucking kidding me? But it came with tiny finger sandwiches, Ronnie.

Whoa. But I will say, okay, I think that you make a good point about the salads and mushrooms. But I'm going to go the other way, which is that I think salad is a broad thing. I don't think a salad necessarily means it's a big. lettuce leafy salad it could just be like garbanzo beans with like roasted cauliflower and all sorts of interesting stuff so I don't know but I am surprised they went for mushrooms again but that's what kind of vegan doesn't like mushrooms I feel like mushrooms are just like first of all I love mushrooms but I feel like if

you're a vegan you kind of have to then like adopt mushrooms into your life I'm sorry like you just have to right yeah it's like there's such a big part of it well I mean you don't have to not everybody likes them I love them. You know, they're very meaty. You can make them just taste so good. But you know what? I can't feed the man. So Aisha's just worried about the charter. She's like, I don't, I can just tell they're not happy at all. Like, they're just hiding in their rooms right now. And so we see the guests who I guess don't know their mics are on. Chandra's like, are you feeling sorry for me? And he's like, no, I'm feeling sorry for we. Okay. Sucks for everybody. And Asia's like, we have to do something to make them forget how terribly this has gone so far. So Asia mentions to Kizzy that the guests want to have a group dance on the sky deck, led by the yacht crew. So they're going to come up with a dance routine, which is like very standard with high tea, is that you do high tea and have a dance routine afterwards.

So they're going to do that to lift the moods of everyone. So now Nathan and Joe, they're talking about V. like who's V into you? Nathan's like she's into you and he's like I mean I'm fond of both of them aren't I? Yeah but you'll tackle both of them won't you? And he's like no no honestly I just don't I don't want to do that but that's disgusting

and I'm a good man now I'm a good man pick one. I'm gonna pick one yeah he's changed totally changed Joe's not gonna not gonna do the whole thing Joe says honestly he says well I know that the crew

thinks I'm a little bit of a player I do honestly believe that I'm a good guy but I just always end up in a mad situations. You know, I've unintentionally hurt people in the past. And so I chose, so I've got to choose, but I don't know what I'm going to do just yet. Like, okay, this little preamble is nice. This does not mean you're not a fuck boy.

This is just the thing that you're saying to try to make us think you're not a fuck boy, but you're just a fuck boy. And you're going to do the whole thing all over again. And you're going to burden everyone with inane conversations about like, so which one do I choose? I like them both. And in fact, he does it right now.

He's like, honestly, V is a lovely girl, you know? Which I think when he says V is a lovely girl means that she's in second place to Kizzy, right? Because his first place would always be like, oh, I just want to do something nasty terror. But V as a lovely girl means that I think that he thinks as V as second place.

Yeah, I can't really tell with him. I think he's still like, which one is actually going to give me something and which one is just flirting with me? I think he'll just, I think he's, just willing to go really wherever whatever stores open he's going to walk into he just wants to shop you know yeah so nathan tells him that viz he his fella died last year oh her fella died yeah last year her fella dies that's so sad i understand i'm just gonna see how it goes it's me it's me fucking first charter so he is i guess he's like oh shit i can't like play with this girl's heart

because she's probably still mourning and that makes my job as if i way much harder to do. So how do I go forward with this? Yeah. So Max had a good day, but we're still not paying much attention to Max. And then Carlos is complaining that he doesn't get to go on the water because he's never gone on this type of yacht and not been able to go on the water. So change the weather.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. And then Josh is just cooking, cooking, cooking. Kizzy wants Joe to help her with Spanish dancing. And she's like, oh my God, it's so simple. And then he basically just stands there. And she twists all over and throws your legs up and then does the splits.

And he's like, okay, go right there. Grown up in Spain, I learned dancing from old women because they'd always pick me out and they'd go, you're dancing with me. Kind of the same way it's happening today. I've unintentionally hurt so many old women, but not anymore. I only fuck one old woman at a time on the down floor. I just love like this eight-year-old boy and some, like, like, 73-year-old lady is like, you kid, get over here.

I'm going to show you some moves. So now he and Kizzie are working on a routine, and I'm just going to say I want to do a correction real quickly or a clarification about afternoon tea and high tea, which is that high tea. I was correct, afternoon tea is the posh one, but high tea is an early evening meal. It's a working class meal eaten after a day's work.

So high tea as a dinner theme could actually work, but you're basically having a, like a working class meal of meat, cheese, fish, bread, potatoes, and vegetables. So I don't think that's exactly what they want. Well, that's what they're getting, though. Hi, tea. He's making salads, potatoes, and whatever the other thing you said was, bread. So he's doing it.

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