Watch What Crappens - #3065 RHOSLC S608: Girl War Z

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City continues its Below Deck Down Under charter. This time, they dress as zombies to accuse another husband of cheating and we hear that Bronwyn’s guy allegedly gave someone a silent but deadly kiss.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. What would you do if the ocean vanished, only to come rushing back towards you as a 30-foot wall of water? In this season of Against the Odds, we live four extraordinary stories of survival during the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, the deadliest on record. Listen to Against the Odds on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, watch what happens, what happens when there's so much than crappins. Well, hello, and welcome to watch what crappins, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on ye old bruvres. I'm Ronnie, and that is the gorgeous and talented Ben Mantleger over there. Hello, Ben.

Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm wearing my Fudge College sweatshirt today. Isn't this fun? Yeah, you do have your Fudge College going on. That's a cute. Those are great sweatshirts. It's a great sweatshirt.

We love a gift. Our friend is for us. And of course, she works at fashion magazine. So, of course, she would get us, like, a really nice quality. Oh, not just a fashion magazine. Someone from Vogue made us. Okay, I was trying to, like, I was like, I don't know if she would get in trouble or not if I mentioned the publication.

Well, we won't mention her name. Someone of Vogue is in trouble today, but we'd know. Who's making sweatshirts to say Fudge College under Vogue's brand? Fine. Anna Wintore herself, sat us down and said, you guys need Fudge College sweatshirts. And here we are. Or as we call her, wig. We're just kidding.

It's actually Candice Bergen's daughter. And now it runs Vogue. Greatest Nepo baby story of all time. Yeah. So we hooked that up. So thank you for that. And also, everybody, thank you for being here with Watch what crap is. Okay. This is a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City episode. Monday, we will be doing Amazon live at 4 p.m. Pacific time. And then we're off to BravoCon. BravoCon. We are moderating the next gen NYC panel. It's the last panel of the entire con. And it's the first time that that cast will ever be in a reunion. type settings. So we're very excited to meet all the kids over there. And so we hope you guys can come to that, whoever's going to BravoCon.

We will also be doing a meetup at BravoCon. Details will be announced probably that day or the day before. So you'll have to check our socials to figure out where that is. But that's going to be a free event. We just want to hang out with you guys and meet you, anyone who's there and party together. That would be so fun. So we hope you guys can come.

Okay, so just keep checking. Watch what comments on Instagram. you know what we want to bring together the bravo community so all of our content creator friends the listeners let's just have a big fun party um and also um we only have two dwell hello's left because guess what that's going to be it for dwell hello we decided that we're going to wrap it up okay we've dwell goodbye okay we love dwell hello but we need to like um you know like open up our bandwidth a little bit. So two dwell hellos left.

And if you know of some crazy, crazy, crazy house hunters episodes, international or domestic that we have not covered. Because we've covered a lot of the crazy ones. There was the guy in Bangkok who made the fried chicken. There's been, he's really the craziest one. There's the guy with the with the, with the, the, was it the hobby corner, the hobby hole or something like that? The murder hole. The murder hole. The swingers, the nudists, the people who moved out.

I mean, we want some extreme episodes. And they need to be on HBO Max or YouTube TV. So just email us at Watch What Crapins at gmail.com. And just put in the title, Dwell Hello Suggestions. So those will be the final two 12 hellos. Okay. So we're excited for that. And just gearing up to go into holiday time.

So many things are happening. the Vanderpump Rules trailer this week. We just did a trailer trash for that. We got the Beverly Hills trailer yesterday. So we'll do that for next week's bonus episode. So yeah, lots of crazy stuff leading into this year that's about to be new. Wow, we. But today, yeah, but today we've got Real House Lives of Salt Lake City season six, episode eight. Talk about faces that are about to be new, right? Every moment. You never know when a new face is going to pop off one of these people. You know, it's like cutting off the, cutting off a worm.

It just grows back the other way. Yeah. Or like total recall where the face opens up and there's a face inside. Yeah. Or like that movie Face Off. I want to take your face off. God, I love that movie. People don't realize this about me.

I talk about gay movies all the time, big business, soap dish, bullets over Broadway. But people don't know is that I love face off. I love that movie. I remember seeing it in the theaters, and I was like, my mind has been blown. I don't think I've ever seen such a good action movie. And to this day, it is probably my number one favorite action movie. I even have the score. I have the soundtrack, I have the orchestral soundtrack to an action movie.

It doesn't make any sense. I love that movie so much. It's a little insight into me. Yeah, well, there you go. You never even had facial work. You see? Can't wait to you actually get it. Justice for CCH Pounder's character.

That's all I have to say. You know what? Justice for all of CCH Padger's character. Like, does she ever get justice in anything? She never does. She's always getting the raw end of the stick and everything. Okay, so here we are on the below deck down under Crossover. It's die two.

Dun, dun, ton. So the crew's prepping for breakfast. So all we hear is squeaking. You know, it's like squeak, squeak, squeak while they're squeaking the boat. And Bronwyn has slept outside. And she slept outside in a little. Lissa Gorgas, Italy pajamas, you know, because there's lemons all over them. And she's just out there sleeping, sleeping outside, which is kind of sad.

But the other option was sleeping with Brittany. So, well, I also want to just like, I also want to put something out there. I want to, I want to propose something. She had a third option, which is to sleep on the sofa inside in the living room. Like, why not, why did you sleep on a chair under, like, under the, under the elements where you got rained on overnight? Like, you know there was a perfectly good sofa indoors that we've seen other people in blowdeck sleep on. Well, I don't know, but I think it sounds nice, you know, whenever you're on a trip like that.

We're like, oh, I'm going to sleep under the stars and wow, luxury. And then it rains on your ass. Yeah. Well, but then there was a fourth option, too, which is to tell Brittany, oh, I heard that on this boat, lots of dick shows up in the middle of the night. It's like the Santa Claus of Dick. Just dick. Dick's going to be coming on this boat. Nobody knows when.

Nobody knows where. but they generally party outside. And Brittany would just stay out there. Dick a Claus. You know, yeah, just say that Jared Osmond is waiting for her on the deck and she'll just go running out there and then just lock the door behind her. Yeah, or just say, oh, you know what? Your daughter is going to be calling me to ask you questions in the middle of the night.

But I don't get reception outside. She'd just go out there. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Andrew Lloyd Webber's outside. Oh, my God. Let her run out there. There's so many ways to trick, Brittany. The fact that Bronwyn wasn't able to actually do that to her is upsetting in many ways because I feel like it's an easy victory for Bronwyn.

But also for people who don't watch Below Deck, I'm hoping that there was a scene on a recent Blow Deck where Captain Kerry fooled a very drunk person into going into a room and then he locked her in the room. And I want that to become a trope. I want that like at least once per season, someone gets tricked into a room and then they get stuck in there. And I feel like this is a real way that kind of like amp that up. And Bronwyn could have done that and didn't. Alas, she didn't. So she's waking up on the deck. And she's like, oh, my guys, guys, have you, am I in your way?

Am I in your way? Sorry, I had to sleep outside. They stuck me with a horrible slut. So I had to sleep outside instead. It rained on my head. So that was great. It was Lisa's fault. Lisa did this to me.

So can I have some water and a doctor pepper? Don't be great. I know it's weird, but, you know, I also am someone who wears inflatable dinosaur costumes to the airport and married a grandfather. So, you know, weird is kind of my thing. So then I'm surprised I don't identify with Bronwyn more. I like like really bad fashion and I also love Dr. Pepper, but still don't really love her. But Dr. Pepper will.

You don't like tight asses. You don't like tight asses. And that's going to negate all those other things. Yeah, I guess. So then we go to Heather and Whitney and they're waking up and Heather's pulling the whole like, what even happened last night? Oh, we're not following for that again, Miss Black Eye. Black Eye storyline.

Black Eye tease. So then Whitney is like, she's like, we drank a lot. And Heather goes, yeah, what happened? You were a baller. There was nothing that happened in last night's episode that said that Heather was a baller. Not even if you were on Heather's side, not even if you didn't believe she was a gaslighting Lisa Barlow.

There's nothing baller about anything that happened last night. And so Heather's like, but they love it because they're always playing. planning on every season. It's like, let's go after Lisa. Let's go after Lisa. They do it and they're like, you did great. You were a baller. The thing is with Lisa, she's our good friend in this sisterhood of women. And I don't want her to like look at our friendships like it's a scorecard. You know, count our money. Know all of our dirty deeds. You know, all the skeletons in our closet. If she's our friend, then be a friend. Says the woman who sat down and pointed a finger at least

Barlow on national television and said you leaked everything to the press and then act shocked that Lisa Barlow was like upset at her. And then she's going to be like, but I'm being a friend to you right now. I don't know. This is not me being Team Lisa. This is just me being Team Heather is totally ridiculous, hilarious and ridiculous in the last episode. So we our friend Hannah is over here staying with me for a few days with her family. And so that last night was our first day here and we had a great time. And of course we have to watch housewives together because that's what you do with one of your friends? You know, it's like let's, let's sit down and bond again over one of our favorite things to bond over housewives. So we had a few glasses of wine and

ripped some housewives. And so she was, she's been traveling for a few weeks. So she hasn't seen the last few episodes. So we watched three episodes before this. When I tell you how obvious it is what Heather's doing, especially when you know what's going on now and then when you watch all the episodes leading up to this. And if you think about the whole season of what she's been doing, what she does kind of every season, which has been the whole season, Heather's been going, you know, I just love Lisa so much, but we all know Lisa and we know what Lisa does. She spreads stories. She digs up the dirt. She just digs up the dirt and then she brings the dirt. But it's always you guys bringing the dirt and then blaming Lisa. But she's been laying the

foundation for this the whole season very clearly in every episode. I don't know what Lisa's laying the dirt about, but it's something. And then, uh-oh, it's Bronwyn. It must have been Lisa. I mean, it's just so heavy-handed what she's been doing the whole time. And then we were watching the episode, I guess it was last week when they were confronting Bronwyn, when Bronwyn, when Bromwin comes to the lunch table, and when he's like, yeah, but how are you, Bronwyn? And so they start asking her, and it's Heather who's grilling her with every single question. Okay, well, this one, this arrest was this time, but then you had this other charge, and this was only four years. So what about this chart? So it was her with all the details. Lisa wasn't even

asking anything. She was just sitting there like, don't you guys have Twitter? I think Heather just wants to extricate herself from the Lisa Barlow friendship. And not even because she doesn't like Lisa Barlow. I think she just knows that like, like, you've got to shake it up every few seasons and be like, okay, this is the season where we fight. This is the season where we are friends. And I think she's ready to extricate herself. But she doesn't want to be the bad guy. She doesn't want the narrative of like Heather and I were totally friends and then suddenly she stopped being friends with me so she has been slowly building a narrative of like I'm trying to be friends to this lady but I'm having these nagging doubts that I don't want to believe and I'm giving her every

opportunity to prove me wrong and all she does is prove me right and it's terrible but I'm gonna have to reluctantly leave this friendship like that's what she's building up towards and I kind of wish you be like Heather just just feud just chill my God just chill and I also think she's addicted to the fame she got from the Monica thing like, I have just uncovered a huge scandal. I am the new detective of Bravo. And so now she wants to find some new mystery that she can get to the bottom of every year.

It's like she's now in charge of whoever's been talking to the blogs. You know, so that's her big thing. Like, well, this season, we're going even closer in our investigations. We're going to our own sisters. Yeah, I think that there's a little bit of an element of trying to chase the high of that season four. finale and that's it'll be like that that was a generational finale we're not going to see that up for another like 10 or 15 years yeah so stop trying every single season to have another thing and then

Hannah's main question I think for the for the episodes we watched was what are the teeth I guess because we're she's not used to watching on such a giant TV and Heather and Brittany I mean those twin teeth coming out at you on HD is is something else it's given a little bit of like a doc from the Muppets. So Whitney is like, wow, you were down on that pad in the water for a long time. I know. And I just kept saying, listen, this is where we're at. But she just said, I didn't do it.

She just kept on saying it. So we see a flashback of them on the naughty boys, which is what those are called. I feel like I have to explain things to the non-blow deck watchers. Because like, we know the lingo. We sort of are like yachties at this point. So they're on the naughty boys. And Lisa's like, I'm going home. Oh, I'm going the distance all the way to Utah.

And Heather's like, you're not fucking. going home, Lisa Barlow. I'm like, don't you ever ask me to admit something I would never do. But like, I think you're the source of the dirt, Lisa. And I love it, Heather says it. Like, I'm being just a good friend to you right now that this is what I honestly feel. And like, I'm being honest. Aren't I a good friend by accusing you of this thing that like probably just came from Reddit instead?

She's like, yeah, I think you feed it. And then you keep your hands clean. And she's like, no, I would never fucking do that. I would not even fucking know this because everyone tells you everything which so what so what so people come to me to gossip so how does that make me the originator of the gossip I don't know this is housewise

we're allowed to gossip leave me alone and she's like I didn't leak it I never leak stuff like why am I blame for everything and she's like because you know what if I have a question about anything I come to you Lisa because you know the okay so what do you mad at Wikipedia now too Heather is trying to do some funky manipulation here where she's like, look, if I have a question or anything I want advice from, I go to you. And I don't know why you're shying away from that.

It's a good thing that everyone wants to give you their privilege information and that you spread it to the media. That's actually shows how much people trust you. Heather's, the way she keeps skewing this, it's actually like reprehensible, but I find it to be so funny because it's so shameless. And I really do believe. And this is not any sort of bias towards anything or anyone. I really do believe that in this case, I do believe this was just stuff that like fellow internet sleuths have dug up. I just don't think that Lisa Barlow found this information.

I think that she's just getting blamed for it because she doesn't know how to handle. She doesn't know how to handle herself in these situations. She always acts so guilty all the time. Yeah, because really the accusation is, okay, if Lisa leaked it to the blogs, then the accusation there is that Lisa went and looked up all of this information. right like got a PRI person or whatever or is the accusation that she heard it from somebody she heard it from one blogger in a DM and then leaked it to another blogger i mean i just don't understand even the accusation but it is pretty funny watching how they're just totally commit to

gas sliding being like but all you have to do is admit it listen i'm saying that you're talented enough to be a mayor a mayor of betrayal town okay so you betray your sister It's not that big of a deal. We've all got our quirks. All she had to do was admit it. Or say she was sorry for things she's done in the past or that she was going to make efforts moving forward. But she refused to even give us bullshit lines to get us to quiet down.

She refused to do anything. She refused to be honest. And that definitely changed our dynamic in this sisterhood. My fingers going back and forth. Yeah. So Whitney's like, well, but what do you do when someone? But we know that they're doing. it, but then they say they're not doing it.

Then what do you do? Yeah, you mean to say keep scoring every single thing in our lives? You want to take that line from the top, Witt? What do you do when someone says a score, but then you're like, what? What game is on? Okay. No, we're going to use the metaphorical. Keep score.

Why don't give it another try with? Stop bullying me just because I have red hair. Yeah. you just want deny and deny and deny and then after that you deny and deny and then you're like Lisa and she just denies and deny and deny and deny and deny okay Whitney we we get it oh sorry like what do you do at that point you just reframe the friendship because you can never be true friends it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial Picture this, you're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.

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early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus. So then we go to Lisa and Meredith and they're in bed. And, you know, Meredith's trying to sleep and Lisa is just, you know, going crazy while she's scrolling through her phone, like aggressively, you know, doing the like nervous scrolling. We're just so mad. You're like, oh, my God. Everyone's parties that you weren't invited to just scrolling past. And she's like, literally, literally, like, you know what I did last night. I learned like a lot about who people are. And it's fucking ugly. Like, nobody would have something. Like, no one would, you know, why would you say admit it? Like, that's not even a question. That's not a friendship. It's fucking bullshit. It's bullshit where it is. You know what I. can't take it anymore. You know what? And everyone's saying like, I'm just hoping everyone wakes up and it's like, I was awful to my friend. I was awful to them. Like you, Meredith, I hope you have a dream and remember how awful. What are you talking about me? I did try to stand up for you. Meredith just has her mask on. She's like, takes it up. She puts it on her head. She's like, what do you, what do you think I said, Lisa? I didn't use your words, but I, because I don't

speak like you, but I gave them the same message, which is that when they were attacking you, I shrugged and said, well, I don't know about that, which I think was a very strident defense of you. When they came after you, I said, well, there are only so many coincidences. That's all I said. It was basically, you know, a stop speech for you. So I don't know why you're upset. I basically said, well, I'll have to think this over later today at the mom and me screening. I'm having with my toddler when we go and see. some movie at the multiplex haven't chosen the one

just yet but keep an eye out for what my review will be sorry yeah but you know what it's like a different level of like respect and like support so like you're just giving me like a different level of support than I need okay like I need like a better level of support

don't tell me I don't support you okay I'm sitting here and I'm trying did I not tell you to open up the hangar so the airport could come in with some food last night and did you open up the hangar? No, you didn't. I have to ground my plane. I did. And it's not fair to the people on that plane that they didn't have a hanger to land in if you know what I'm saying. So I'm the only one who's trying and you're yelling at me and that makes me angry and it hurts me. Yeah. So we go to Bronwyn

getting her Dr. Pepper on board with high stress Daisy. I just love watching like how Daisy's always so stressed like she's always she's always kind of like moving back and forth on her feet like she's ready to run like it's a very high intensity like war going on she's always like watching they're walking they're walking down the hole captain they're walking down the hall captain here they come calm down you know like when birds walk around because they're like so used to flying but then when they walk around on the ground they're always like so skitterish like but they're like looking for like maybe that bread and they're like gotta go and then they fly off that's like daisy looking for my brother can't find that she's just so she's just so high intensity even when

she comes into the room to ask for food stuff she's like mary mary hi there mary it's me daisy okay so you don't want shrimp but he's gonna do a wahu is that okay for you that's a whitefish is that all right all right that's all right all right i'll get on it so um get on the wahu emergency I thought that done in time. So Bronwyn's saying, she's like, well, I slept on the deck last night because things aren't good with Britney and me. She's mad at me for telling everybody what she said when we went shopping. And I'm irritated with her for running her mouth in general. Which is funny because it was Bronwyn just last year who was being shady talking with Heather, et cetera.

And then Heather was like, I'm going to put Bramon on blast for all the stuff that she was saying behind everyone's back in that car ride. And then Brom was like, I was just being shady. And now Brittany tries to do it. And Bromwood just steps into the Heather roll and outs her. The difference is that Bromwin is like, I mean, sorry, Brittany is like a hilarious punching bag. And so she just, they just do this to her all over and over again.

But it's nice to see that Bronwyn has no memory of the hell that she went through last season. She doesn't even have memory of what she went through this season with all the charges. I mean, she started this whole season being like Lisa Barlow. You want to talk about, you want to talk about charges? You know, look at Lisa, look at Lisa Barlow and everything she's going through. And all the money she. knows. She's already forgotten that even. So now we see a flashback to Bramwin and Brittany getting ready for bed. And Brittany being like, you know, if this is how we're going to sleep,

this is going to be really hard for me to sleep. And she's like, you know what? I'm going to go sleep outside then because I'm going to go sleep on one of those chairs upstairs. And Brittany, I do not need this, Brittany. I do not need this from you. So I will not sleep with you. I vote to it. So Bronman's like, yeah, a pool chair. Shockingly enough, it's not the most comfortable bed in this my yacht that we're on. But whatever, I got rained on. So then we see Brittany, I'm sorry, Whitney and Brittany and Heather and Angie, and they're on the mid-deck patio. And Angie, who has just suffered through a day of puking, it's like, uh, like, hello, Opa. I feel like I missed out on such a great night. Luckily, today will be wonderful. No more puking. And my hands will be fully intact by

the end of the evening. Opa. And then Lisa just comes out. It's like, Oh, wow, look who's back from the dad. Hi. And then everyone just stares at her. Like, oh, my God, leaves this here. And they just all pause. And it's like, what? What, you guys?

She just, like, Sarah stares at them playing with her hair. You know what? I'm going to go check on breakfast. I'm going to go check on sisterhood breakfast. So, because we are women. Women deserve breakfast. Can I come? I want to see if there's any musaka on the menu.

I need to find something in the kitchen. I've got to get juice or something. Or, I don't know, do my hair. or something or another, let me out of here. And I need to change into a swimsuit. I'm going to go too. You're already in a swimsuit. I'm going to go changing.

I'm going to go change into a suit swim. I'll be back too. Lisa's like, okay. Really obvious. Really obvious, you guys. So they all mean girl her. And then Brittany, she's left alone with Britney. Brittany comes out.

And of course, Brittany's question is, but are we good, though? Are we good? Not mad at me, right? Does anyone like me? Yeah, I'm like, I'm totally good. Like, I'm totally, like, fine. Like, I would tell you, I feel like we weren't good, right?

And if we weren't good, I would either tell you or just, like, tell a whole bunch of other people first, okay? And so, Brittany's like, are you so mad at Heather? Listen, I talk to Heather. I love Heather. I love that. And I love Heather. But what happened last night is like, not okay.

It's like, not okay. Yeah, but the thing that really bugs me, Is it, if Bronwyn and I were in a really good spot? This isn't about you, Brittany. Jesus. So, like, Bromlin and I were in a really good spot. I mean, like, we never hung out. She asked to go shopping with her.

And then she uses everything against me. And then we see a clip of that where stupid Britney's trying on clothes. And Brom was just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And how do you feel about Meredith? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay. And how do you feel about Lisa? Mm-hmm.

Hater? Okay. Okay. Got it. Yeah, got it, got it. So Bernie's like, I mean, she posted out of, of me like, ooh, I'll be nice to you and you just so you can tell me things and then use it against me. Okay, yeah, Brittany, like, she did it to you before and like, you are responsible for you.

And the bottom line is, like, I've never done anything to Bronwyn. And she, like, lied about me when it came to the grandpa hunts. And all last year, she let people think I heard her daughter and she asked me to do something and they're not turned on my. And by the way, Bronwyn can hear all of this because she's like sitting there with her Dr. Pepper upstairs, but she can hear her hear everything that they're saying. So Brittany's like, wait, she asked you to reach out to the family. She goes, yes, she asked me to meet with the grandparents and to facilitate. It's in writing. It's in writing. Dismused. Dismassed. And we see the text from Bronwyn to Lisa, which says, hi, and Quinn and I talked, uh-huh, nodding emoji. And if you, you know what, if you wouldn't

mind reaching out to them and explaining that this came up, you know, G is willing to meet if they are. I'm so sorry to put you in the middle, but I know you are you offered and maybe it's the best way to approach them. Heart emoji, nodding emoji, nodding emoji, nodding emoji. And Lisa responds with, I'm happy to. I'm happy to. Yeah. Hopata. So then Angie and Mary are joining Brahman on the upper deck. And Angie's like, hello, is this where you slept? No way. You really slept up here. And she's like, yeah. But we should move. Because if you want to talk shit about people, this is just a teeny tiny little boat. And Brittany and Lisa are talking fucking loud about me downstairs. So to ensure that they have some privacy while they talk shit about me.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I can hear every fucking word. Those two loud mouths just said that they mentioned grandparents and they mentioned Gwen. And I am livid now. And maybe we should go over here so they can't hear me talking shit about them because I'm, you know, I'm going to go talk shit about them. But it's different because I'm doing it over in this section. I'm not doing it where I was just drinking a Dr. Pepper. It's like, okay.

They're doing it on like that. Can you believe they're talking shit about me on my very own bed? like to share they come into my home they come into my home to talk shit about me so uh they go sit with her and then um and she's like why did you move out of your room she's like oh my god brittany the same shit with brittany i mean i just i reached out to brittany i said let's go shopping she told me meredith has seizures and crashes out and screams at her and then she gets furious with me because i threw her under the bus but then she says i don't want to sleep with you and i said okay well you know what i don't particularly want to sleep in our room either so

have fun sleeping next to a blowup shark. You bitch. Yeah, you're vomiting. Everyone else is screaming at each other. And I mean, it's just like, it's just that fucking truth, Angie, you were vomiting for 18 hours. By the way, just to clarify again, in Brittany's feeble defense, she did not say Meredith was having seizures. She said, Meredith gets so mad, it's like a seizure of emotion or whatever.

It was like a seizure. But she didn't say that Meredith is having seizures. And Bronwyn totally misrepresented that. But in a way, I'm glad because then we had last week, Meredith, you're like, there are people in my family who have had a seizure, including my child. How dare you talk about my child? Sejures are not inherently funny, but this show somehow made them funny. So, yeah, now Bronwyn's all mad that they were talking shit about her, you know, on the deck or whatever.

So then Meredith and Meredith, Heather and Whitney joined them. And now people are starting to feel seasick again, because. it's swaying a lot. So Lisa, Lisa comes out, and she's trying to start kind of a new day. She's like, okay, guys, I might want some price lots. And everyone just looks at her like, oh my God, gross, Lisa Barlow's here. So then Heather's like, okay, guys, I think that today we should have a little break and have some fun. Today's an island adventure. We're going to go to the Tobago Key, and we're going to snorkel, swim. This is a chance for us to disembark. you know, just have zombie night.

So let's have a great day to day. Okay. What are you announcing that you need a positive day? You're the one who's starting fights. I know. And I love the idea of like, hey, guys, let's just, let's not fight today. Let's go have a zombie night instead. That'll solve everything.

So, and just like, I don't know if the yacht life is for me. Let's see. And Heather's like, well, you're getting your seed legs. or as I call them, your sisterhood legs. So then Bronwyn's like, hey, listen, if you're, you know, can I just come stay in your room tonight, Mary? And Mary's like, no, absolutely not. She goes, that's a crowd. Two is a company.

Three is a crowd. That's three people that might make fun of my farts. And it takes me a lot of time to open up to somebody. And he's like, I mean, you can still sleep with me. I'm not going to hurt you. You're not going to hurt me. It's fine. I'm not interested in sleeping in a bed.

Then maybe you brought one of the crew into. And she's like, what? Yeah, because last time I saw you up here, you were trying to get one of the crew to come downstairs with you. And she's like, no, I wasn't. And we see the clip of Brittany flirting with Captain Jason. I was like, Bronwyn, she is just flirty and she's no more flirty.

In fact, she's significantly less flirty than Heather is with Captain Jason. And this is crazy. I'm sorry. This is a crazy character assassination on our sweet shantoo's, Britney. Well, she would have. I mean, Brittany would have bragged about it, first of all. It wouldn't be such a slam. It's only a slam to Bronwyn.

She's like trying to slut shame. You can't shame, shameless. Okay? Brittany's like, really, someone came to my room? Who was it? Was I there? Why didn't anybody tell me they were in my room? Who were they?

Tell me who they are. I'll get them right now. I'll get them right now. But she's like, I didn't get late. And then we see Captain Jason debuffing her advances. And she's like, yeah, did you or did you not? Mm-hmm. Tell Captain Jason, I'd love to get out of here.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Got her. Got her. She's like, no. She's like, well, I mean, the girls were saying he is coming out of your room last night to me. I don't know. They're terrible.

These girls are terrible. But then it turns out. Then Brittany's like, why are you even talking to me? I don't know. It's a bad idea. I love that. Britney's like, why are you even talking to me, Meredith? Yes, Britney.

He was saying that he was there to fix the AC Which is not really the captain's duty But we do see a flashback that she's in her room And she has a tooth brush in her mouth Which is sort of suggested And she's like, it's really hot in here I don't know, am I not doing the AC correctly? It's something I need a captain to help me with

He's like, all right, let's see what's in here All right, see the problem You've got your AC wrapped up in a kimono I'll just take that off and bring it back to my quarters, thank you. You too can have a kimono Oh, Captain Jason Komodo at home for only $400. Visit comodo.com. What's this kimono company again?

I forgot. We looked it up. I don't remember. I sometimes forget that. 400 dollar kimono. I was like, girl, this kimono going to blow me? I don't think so, sir. I know.

I forget sometimes that our real househouse audience may not be familiar at all with the fact that Captain Jason is a fan of kimonos and sells them. But yeah, he loves a kimono. Okay. So then we see him come to check our air conditioning. and no sexual stuff happened. And when he left, she was still standing there with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

So she's like, no one was in our room last night, just my little unicorn and me. Good night, baby. You are loved. So Jared Osmond, T.M. I'm a soldier of love. Like Uncle Donnie's saying.

So Lisa is saying, okay, guys, enough for the pylon, okay? Captain Jason's not interested. It's like dumb, right? Like, back me up on this, Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, okay, why is she running around so much? Okay, Daisy, come on,

is she interested? Say no, say no, hard no, Daisy. She's like, ha, I have no idea. Honestly, I just try not to pay attention to anything the guys do on these boats anymore. Yeah, but it's like ridiculous. You know what? I want to stand up for my friend Brittany because, like, nobody wants to sleep with Britney, am I right?

Like, nobody wants to sleep with her. You know what, if I was Captain Jason, I wouldn't want my name dragged through the mud as someone who's up with Brittany. I mean, look at her. Right, Britney? I'm sticking up for you. It's like, geez.

This is a, this just invites Bronwyn to do her signature head nod slash adjust the sunglasses a little closer to her eyes set up to go, oh, come on. I can't even sit on the deck without hearing you and Brittany talking shit about me downstairs saying I'm a snake. I've done this to Brittany before. I've done it to you. Bringing up my fucking daughters and grandparents again. How could you do that? Oh, God, here we go. How dare you bring up my daughter?

Oh, dear you. All she said was what happened. And for those of you who don't remember what happened, last year, Bronwyn had this whole storyline about the grandparents of her daughter and how they mistreated her and this and that. Lisa knows the grandparents. So she had a really nice scene with Lisa where she talked about it and they brought up the fact that they could all reconcile. And then Bronwyn texted Lisa and said, yeah, you know what? It would be great if you told them that we talked about this. And maybe we can reconcile. And then Lisa does contact. the grandparents. And then Bronwyn brings up on camera like, you betrayed me by going to the grandparents. You completely betrayed me. How dare you do this to my daughter? And totally misrepresented that, which she does everything on this show. And now she's misrepresenting what she heard again to make it sound like Lisa is sitting down there talking about her daughter. I do think that there's a good amount of misresenting on this show too, where people Miss resenting. Don't misresent me.

Stop yelling at me. Stop yelling at me. You are the queen of fucking, mm-hmm, yelling at people. So do not talk about my child or her grandparents again. We had this agreement.

And so we see them at like the, the Vita Tequila premiere lounge and where they're agreeing, like Lisa says, I will never mention again. Full stop, full stop. So Brahman's like,

and then you're standing on the back of the fucking boat saying it to Brittany. She's like, yeah, I did, say it to Brittany. I did. I did. Yeah, everyone, yeah, I did.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Stop talking about my fucking child. I'm not talking about your child. I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about your child. Ah. You know what? Stop talking about it because I swear to God, I'm standing up now.

And if you can't agree to not talk about people's kids, she goes, okay, this is deflecting. Sit down. Just sit down. No, you're deflecting. You're deflecting. Mary's like, this would be great time for Angie to go ahead and get back sick. Because then we could go back to that quiet space. Just be quiet.

That'd be great. Why do they keep misusing the word deflecting? She's not deflecting. She's saying, yeah, I said that. She's like, you're deflecting. No, I said it. You are deflecting. Yep, I said it.

I don't think they know what deflecting means. So then Lisa's like, you know what? Okay, I don't want to say anything about anyone's kids. I try really hard to do the right thing. Okay. And then she's like, bullshit. You know what you do? You dig up dirt on people, Greek or not.

And you talk about them behind their Greek backs, and you pretend to be their friend. And even just a few weeks ago, you were talking about Bronwyn with your hair over your face like this, saying, yeah, Todd was making out with one of my friends while farting the entire time. She's like, wait, wait, you know what, I didn't say it was one of my friends. I didn't say I was one of my friends. If you're going to gossip about me, get the full story right. I told a waiter who wasn't even a friend. Are you fucking kidding me, Lisa? And she said, no, you said one of my hot friends.

No, because she's not that hot. She's actually one of my ugly friends. Sorry, you got the wrong friend. Tell the story right next time. Let me back up. About a month ago, Lisa had her charity luncheon, her clarity luncheon, sorry, where she kissed all of our at-thes. And so we see that.

And Lisa toasting, you know what? I love each and every one of you. Even when I'm at you, like I still love you. I still dare you guys. hold on, let me come my finger with two fingers. My hair with two fingers. Let me come at. And Angie's like, and then we went to dinner at her club. So we sat there and then she pulled her hair over her face like this and said Todd was making out with one of my friends while farting the entire time.

I love the need to include the farting part too. Like the Todd was making out with one of my friends is like a pretty big bomb to drop. And then she's like, and I'm also going to add that he farted the entire time. I guess this is the thing this season is laughing. So fucking hard at this. And I'm just imagining Todd at how. Great. I told him not to go on this cruise to talk shit about me and Lisa Barlow.

And now you've got this Greek ones and a far while I make out with secretaries. First of all, they were silenced but deadly, so you can't trace it back to me. So you don't really know if it came from me in the first place. Okay? And second of all, my doctor did say I had to check my hearing. So maybe we'll circle back to point number one. But the point is, you don't know what Wethers do to a man's digestive system. Hey, you know what I got to say to you, ain't you?

The one he smelled it, nailed it. Is it possible? The one who denied it supplied it, though. Did you just eat my cherry? I'm sorry about that. It was a bad habit. The one who did the rhyme, committed the crime. Is it possible that Lisa's friend said, oh my God, I just made out with an old fart?

Is it possible that that's what happened? Oh my gosh, she was making out with Todd and he was farting the whole time. I just think that's so Todd to be making out like. Hold on. Let me check my notifications on my palm pilots if everything came in.

So, so and just like, I didn't want to tell Bronwyn, I didn't want to tell Bronwyn, especially like this, but Lisa, coming across like she's a good friend and always tries to do the right thing. It's just bullshit.

I couldn't hold it back any longer because I am Greek. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now I've thrown somebody else's marriage under the bus. So Bromlin's like, um, wait, but you said he made out with someone? I mean, fuck you. You were dead to me, Lisa. You were dead.

She's like, oh my God. You know what? I grew up in New York, so I know a lot of people, and you know what? It came from someone that I believe and I trust. So I believe that it happened. And I, you know what, I repeated what I heard to Angie. And now we know, you know, Angie's not a trustworthy batch. And you know what, I'm never going to do that again.

And so Bron was like, you never say you're wrong. I mean, just admit it. And she goes, I was wrong to say that about Todd. But you were wrong to talk about Gwen. So don't talk about my family. Okay. But you know, okay, then I was wrong. Okay, well, you were wrong.

Why don't you ever say you were wrong? But I, okay, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. You never say you're wrong. Stop deflecting. But I was wrong. Lisa, you need to say you were wrong when you were wrong. But I was wrong.

You see, you're arguing with me now, Lisa. Just confess. This has nothing to do with me believing this rumor or being worried about this rumor. Because, of course, I don't believe he was making out with someone. I do believe he was farting. But this proves that Lisa is spreading rumors about me and Todd's farting. And she's never going to stop trying to eviscerate every aspect of my life. So, you know what?

We're done. Todd. Todd, I'm trying to do my confessional. Well, sorry. I can't just sit down it the whole time. I'm not a hen. Oh, wow. So Lisa goes, do you repeat, Angie, do you repeat all of our conversations?

And Mary's like, if someone told me my husband was making out with someone farting, I don't know which would not be more definitely. it about. I mean, both of it's just embarrassing. I mean, what's wrong with his intestines? Why is he farting? Oh my God, something's wrong. I'm like, Mary, you're not one to talk. You saw last, we saw two episodes ago. How dare you bring up my farting? How dare you? How dare you? Also, you're married to your grandpa. I'm sure he farts a lot. Please. So Heather's like, we need to put a pin in this and get off the boat. And Lisa's like, oh my God, you know, but don't tell anything to Angie, jeez, you can't even talk

about somebody making out with somebody and farting the whole time. It's been crazy. We're going to world are we living in. And Andrew's like, no, do not talk about your friends like that. That's the lesson. That is the lesson. You say the meanest things. Don't, don't say horrible shit about your friends. You say

horrible shit. You do, Anji. I feel sorry for you. For real. I feel so sorry for you. Okay. I'd also like to point out that that was pre- that was pre-make-up, right? Because they went to that lounge and had that party when Lisa talked shit about Bronwyn

before Bronwyn and her made up and agreed to not talk about each other. So that doesn't fall under the same agreement. That was later. That's fair. That's fair. Wasn't that the second time? That was the first time that we saw the Vita Tequila Lounge. And then the second time was when they had their meeting when Lisa was

in her pajamas. You know, you're right. You're right. So whatever. So then we go to Bronwyn and her bed and she hears an echo of Todd's voice like, hey, does someone smell something? I don't. Thank God my nose doesn't work. I'll tell you who's feeling something. Those beans

jumping around my tummy. Wasn't it a fiesta going on down there? Is this the Cinco de Mayo? It's unclear to be why you want to spend time with these people. Don't come home and complaining that you and Lisa got to do a fire.

I should have known this was coming because Todd knew this was coming. I mean, not the farting while he was making out with somebody part, but yeah, he knew. And Lisa got exactly what she wanted. She wanted to get under my skin. She wanted to hurt my family. And I'm realizing there's no way for me to be in the same room as Lisa and not veer into this person. I don't respect to myself. I'm the kind of person who will wear a blow-up dinosaur costume.

That's a person that's respectable. And you know what would make Lisa mad right now if I had fun? So I'm going to have fun. I'm going to have so much fun. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I, you know, I really adore Bronwyn, but I have to say this whole narrative of, like, Lisa just wanted to get under my skin.

You eavesdropped on Lisa just having a kiki moment with Brittany. And then Lisa didn't even bring up this Todd thing. It was Angie who aired it in front of the table. Not to be a Lisa apologist or anything, but like Lisa was not actively. If you're watching the show, you have to be a Lisa apologist in a way because she's not doing it. And she's terrible at defending herself. And these people are crazy. Like, the two things Bronwyn is really the most upset about are things that Lisa didn't even bring up.

She didn't bring up Bronwyn stuff. Everybody else brought it up. Lisa was messy as hell to say that at the club. Like you said, though, it happened on the heels of them bickering earlier in that day. But also, but they did sort of have a little bit of a truce at the end of that luncheon. But either way, it's not like Lisa shot up at the table to confront Bronwyn. She didn't say like, well, Bronwyn, this is what I'm. I heard.

So she wasn't, Lisa wasn't trying to get under Bromond's skin. Bronwyn kind of went sniffing for this fight, if you ask me. And she wanted to make it a fight. I understand her, the grandparents and Gwen are a trigger for her. But, yeah, this was, I don't really think that Lisa was actively trying to upset Bronwyn here. I think she just got caught because Lisa was messy. She got caught gossiping. She sort of oafy with these things.

Yeah, she got caught gossiping for sure, talking shit. But she didn't say it on camera. Guess who brought it to camera? Angie. you know but they still it's like they all bring it on camera and then they blame Lisa for and I'm not even saying Lisa didn't talk to a million people about all the stories with Bronwyn I'm just saying like in what world do we not care about stories about the housewives like everybody else got to show up and grill her why are they not digging for things you know

that's just so crazy so they go they they go to Tobago and Angie's like kissing the sand it's like fun in games time Lisa Mary and Meredith are lounging and then Angie is talking. So Angie sees Bronwyn coming out of the water. And she's like, and what's your face, Bronwyn? I just want you to know, I feel really bad. My heart went out to you today. And I feel like I probably haven't been as supportive of you as I should have.

And I tried to stand up to her about what she was saying about Todd. Sorry, I haven't been more supportive. Glad I could be more supportive after I brought the story of your husband cheating and farting on to national TV. Hope you enjoyed that. I did it for you. Well, I regret that I yelled and screamed and lost my mind. Don't. Don't. We all thought it was hilarious. So, no, but I do, I don't regret what I said.

And I don't take it back. Mm-hmm. Okay. I think the only way you're going to get her to stop talking about your daughter. And the situation in the grandparents is to be as stern as you were today. Fight some more. Go ahead. She's right over there.

She's like, well, I really try to be quick. Like, you know, what did I do wrong? What's my part in this? You know, focus on myself. That's how you do it, you know? but she's over here getting a fucking massage. I mean, she's not sorry about shit. Oh, God, what she's supposed to cry

because her husband farted while he was making out with some secretary? Let the woman get her massage. Get a hobby. I thought we were on break. I thought we're on house while I was petting this break. I'm going to get my massage now before we fight tonight. So Heather and Whitney and Bromwin are snorkeling

and Mary and Lisa are sunbathing. And Lisa's like, I don't know if you heard me and Meredith this morning. But we had like a really direct conversation where I was like, It bothers me because, like, I know, like, you know, that I know that you know that I would never feed stuff to the blogs. And, like, I wish you had just said, like, hey, Lisa would never do that. Like, Donna Kutzer are doing that, you know?

So then Mary's like, well, what'd she say? She's like, well, I think she feels like she's set in her own way. And I just, they're just talking about this conversation. And then, of course, Meredith comes sort of sauntering over. Like, hello, hello. This reminds you of making sandcastles with my toddlers last year on this beach. What are you guys talking about? And so Lisa's trying to talk about Meredith's right there.

So she's like, okay, I guess I got to bring Meredith in. So she's like, okay, Maradeth, okay, you know what? Okay, I was talking about this morning, like, you know what, like how I, you know, you've told her you support me in private. And she's like, yeah, well, I do. I support you privately and publicly, both Lisa. Okay, I just think that it's what everyone is so interested in how you and I engage with each other. And Mary goes, it's not wild. It's just bizarre.

That's what it is. It's bizarre. How you defend her? And Mary's like, Lily, I don't feel like, Merida doesn't stick up for Lisa. Like, she just doesn't. And if Lisa's really her friend, then Mara should, like, probably speak up and, like, help her out.

Like, wow, can you believe I'm actually taken for Lisa Barlow? Like, God help me. Yeah, but you know what? I do a good job of standing up for myself, like, the way I cry and scream. And then, like, you know what, deny things like histrionically? But, you know, there's sometimes, I'm like, you know what, tap in. You know what I mean? Like, I need to tap at, Meredith.

Like, I need you to tap at. Don't condone violence. I will be not tapping anything. And I will support you if I agree with you. You know, I would never ask someone to help me slice a lemon if they didn't like lemon. So I would not help that you hope that I respect my boundaries. And if I don't agree, I'm not going to defend you, Lisa. As simple as that.

Yeah, and I do support, you know. If you want to keep talking about us, if everyone wants to keep talking about, then you're going to be like, okay, okay, calm down. Your head's going to pop off, okay? I'm done with the conversation. I'm not, I'm sick of this narrow and I don't want to. Yeah, but you know what, tap in though, like dismissed, like tap end. You know, like, I don't know why you're getting so upset. Like I've been such a good friend, you know, been such a good friend.

I've been a great friend to you, like the other day, I defended you. you by saying, well, we'll just have to see. And I thought that was a very bold and outspoken defense of you. And Mary's like, yeah, but she's telling you that there's an issue in your guys' friendship. And she doesn't feel like you take up for her. And that's

just how she feels. So, she's like, well, if that's the case, and I'm sorry. Well, I mean, you have to respect her feelings. What would you like me to do, Mary? Okay. Do you want me to go do car wheels? Is that what we're going to do today?

If you do that, you might fart a little bit too much. So you're not a good friend. Like, go jump at the ocean. Go do something. Do something to prove. A lot of Mary's like, jump in the ocean to show. Like, you're not a good friend. Jump in the ocean.

Well, go do something. And she's like, oh, you go do something, honey. And she's like, well, boring. Yeah. I think you're boring. Oh, really? I do lots of interesting things. Very many interesting things.

Oh, uh-huh. Go, go find you. story, and then you can, like, that you can tell, because, like, right now, you're a snooze. Well, see later. Okay. She just gets up and walks off. So now it's Mary versus Meredith, because, you know, Mary's going to turn this into a whole thing now. Yeah.

So now Whitney's getting a massage. Meredith is asking Whitney Bromond and Heather, how the snorkeling was. And Heather's like, snorkeling was amazing. I swam with the stingray. I was part of the stingray sisterhood for one moment. And I felt their bond. And I could tell the way those. stingrays had been persecuted by Mormonism and I said, don't you worry, I have a new book coming

out that's written exclusively in Stingray called Bad Mormon Stingray edition, already a number one bestseller on the Stingray Times. Congratulations, me. Bad Stingray by Heather Gay. It's just going to be me topless but with a stingray over my boobs. They call me a sting gay. The Brahman's like, yeah, it was fun. I kissed you. I have a drink now. Samarida says, wow, wait, you swam with a stingray? Did you really swim with a stingray? They have stingrays here? Well, I'm not amused by that. So Heather and Bronwyn have bonded, laughing in the water. She's like, wow, I can't believe I like Bronwyn now. I'm just embarrassed that it took me so long to stop being so stubborn. I really love her. It's amazing what a common

enemy will bring. So they call Mike Over, who's one of the stews, and she wants to play a game. And so he's like, shall we play? Never have I ever, have we? Shall we? Yeah. Can we play draw some eyebrows on Mike, please? I know. Mike apparently has an only fan or had an only fan.

Someone wrote us that he guess he was on a dating show. He has an only fan. He has like a whole back story. I think he did a show called dating naked. That's what it was. Yeah. That's the whole backstory. So that's for people who want to go look that up.

There's a little activity for you. So he's also like the king of game. and he has a very strong accent. Is it a Welsh accent? I'm not sure. I'm like trying to be better about understanding where these accents come from.

And, uh, I don't know. I'm not going to know until we get the season of below deck and we get his like, you know, trauma where he's like, oh, it was when I was a little boy. And my father first shaved me eyebrows.

I know. That I realized I needed to be on a boat. But I didn't know whether to clean or whether to dick. So now I do both. Thanks, da. Thanks. I've tried to understand. and the Welsh accent ever since

I watched the season three of Traders and there was that one girl who's like, I like to pretend to have a Welsh accent because people think it's cute. I trust me more. And I was like, it all sounds the same to me. So anyway, so Mary, they're going to do some games. It's like, never have I ever.

And never, I can't, I can't be bothered. Peeing in the ocean. Have you ever been in the ocean? Never have I ever farted while making out with some secretary in New York City. Is that necessary, Ronnie? Is that necessary. So I do some games and then they have a game where they have to like kind of like it's a race and they have to like run across the beach and then like chug some wine and

then run the other way and then Brittany falls on her face which of course is funny slapstick always works. Bronwyn loves it. It's going to be her souvenir. It's that mental picture. And then Heather's like whenever you can get us doing something physical and competing against each other as sisters, that is when we really shine. is it so then uh they go back to the yacht and they get some rum punches and heather's like

oh my god i'd love drinks upon arrival rum punch i would love one thank you and brawans like i want the same as heather drinking buddies we're friends now time to get ready for zombie dinner everyone so now um angie is having michael blow dry her hair so she's like get in here and blow dry my hair. And then Captain and Daisy are in the mess. And Daisy's like, well, Heather said something about you having dessert with them because you missed last night. And she asked if you could sit troupless having a dessert, could you do it? And he's, they just start laughing.

He's like, oh, maybe I'll whip out a kimono tonight. Ladies. So, Bronwyn and Mary and Angie are hanging out and they're putting on inflatable costumes. Bronwyn and Andrew putting in a label of costumes. And it's like choosing between those different things. It's like they're getting into it and just trying to put it on. This is kind of like behind the scenes of Summer House, I think. But like she's trying to get her face through it and she has a little like hood on her head.

She's just going through it. It's like, you know, it's like it feels like it's just like a little fun in games thing. And she's like, it's like dressing up baby. And so now they're sort of like semi inflated and they have to get out of the room. And she's trying to get out of the room. And she puts her hand like in the door frame. But the door closes on her finger while her finger's in there. And she's like, oh, oh, oba.

And once again, Angie needs medical attention. Abo. I can't even say, Oba, in the correct way. My finger hurts so badly. So it looks bad. Yeah, it's like smushed. And she's like, uh, uh, uh, so they basically, she's, I think she has a broken finger, right? Or at least, I don't know what's going on with it, but they have, like, wrap it up.

Like, she smished her nail off or something. So it's all bloody. And so Jason wraps her up. Brittany gets all jealous probably. And she's like, it hurts all bad. Yeah. So now everyone is getting ready for zombie night. And Andrew's getting her hair done by Mike.

And she's like, look at him. Look at him. I've got him trained. He's never even done this. Wow. Would you like to come to Salt Lake Michael? You're a born hairdresser. Don't worry.

We won't try to make yourself fresh wolf again. Dusty, dusty product. Yeah. So then Bronwyn is talking about how she overnighted some stuff from the UK. And guys, it's octopus stuff to put on. It's weird jelly octopi to put on her. Octopuses that you can put like right on your forehead. So it looks like you're kind of, I guess kind of like the bad guy in like Pirates the Caribbean.

It's like, oh, look at me. I'm a ghost from the deep that has an octopus stuck on his forehead. So she's putting this on. And Heather's like, oh, my God, look at this. This is amazing. They're dressing up and they're bonding like the sisters they always are. And Lisa is, Lisa and Meredith are getting ready. So they're all just getting ready, putting on blood, et cetera.

And Heather says, why zombie night? You guys wondering what's going on? Yeah. What's going on this episode? Let's tell us. Heather narrate it. Heather narrates everything. She's like, why zombie night?

Well, we love to dig up dirt on each other. And we love to resurrect old fights. from the grave. We could do our own horror movie. So then we see a spoof. It's like some post-production fun about like it's a horror movie. And they're all like walking like zombies out to the dining table, except Mary gets stuck by that glass door.

They like have to stop the trailer, the fake trailer, let her out. Then they started up again. So then they get drinks, but Mary's has lipstick on hers. And she's like, wait, what does this have lipstick on them? Hey, hey, this, this isn't my lips. And he's like, I like his answer. He goes, that's all right. I'll bring you a new one.

What are you telling her it's all right for? I think you're the, you're the apologizer, Mike. I know. Where is it? I'm sorry. Yeah, he's like, I forgive you. I forgive you for having someone else's lips all over your glass. I'll remedy that for you.

You guys, how do we feel the crew did with our zombie theme? I might wonder, when would a hazmat balloon be appropriate? We all look amazing. And Mary's like, yeah, you're the only zombie that I've smelled alcohol in their breath before. So they get food. They get some food that has some of Meredith's caviar on it. And Heather's saying that she hasn't checked in. Has anyone checked in on the home front?

I personally turned off my phone. And I have not checked in because the last thing I need is those bitches that I call my daughter bothering me on this finally some piece and quiet away from them. Am I right, everyone? High five to daughters, right? I would have checked in, but I don't want my daughters to have my new number. So anybody else? Did you check in? And Bron was like, yeah, I called Todd and Gwen, obviously.

And, you know, they weren't exactly jazzed, right, about my updates. Know what I mean, guys? And they're like, oh, my God, you told Heather's like, you said the thing about farting and the making out? And she goes, yeah. Well, of course I did. I mean, why should I be ashamed to say it? I'm not the one who made it up. I didn't make it up.

And I didn't fart on the secretary. So. Well, what happened? me, well, I think Todd always feels like he's not really sure why he's a punchline here all the time, like when anybody's partner is a punchline here, you know? And I agree with that. I just really feel like Todd and Gwen need to be off limits. And it doesn't seem like that's something you can commit to, Lisa. Which is why I'm bringing up Todd and Quinn again. Go ahead and say Todd and Gwen. So I can say that you talked about my husband and my child.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead, Lisa. And she's like, um, okay. You know what? As of today, I will never ever bring them up or in any capacity. You know what? because I will never ever bring them up and I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings and Todd's and Gwen's. Very sorry. Very sorry. Well, America, I feel like it's disrespectful not to acknowledge when someone is speaking to you.

So I acknowledge that Lisa is speaking and it is to me. Otherwise, those words mean nothing. Todd, no, I don't need the stinger on that one, Todd. I can... Thanks. Yeah, but I didn't tell Angie anything with the intention for her to bring it to the group

and humiliate Bronwyn, you know? Like, I don't hurt people like that way. like humiliation? No. No, I just tell them like I'm better than them usually. Or say Blake Lively's name a lot, you know, but I've never done it. You know, I've never gone for that. No, okay, like, I'll defend myself. But, you know, I don't try to go for like the juggler. Like, you know what, I can. And if you open the door, I'll walk through the jar. But you know what? I just wanted to be like status quo because this is frustrating. It's frustrating. I'm genuinely sorry if she's embarrassing her. So more food comes and Heather's like,

You guys, we need to do a zombie walk. Like, the boat is a rocket. Do you feel the rocket and rolling? Oh, my God, this is crazy. Does anyone want to fake throw up? So then basically Brittany is like, oh, no, I don't feel well. So she goes to the edge of the boat where she allegedly throws up, but we don't see anything come out. We know that this show would show the vomit because they already showed lots of stuff spewing out of Angie's mouth.

So I kind of feel like Brittany wants to have like a I'm seasick to a moment. So she goes over and she at least has a drive. a dry, dry heave over the side of the boat. I buy it. You do? Yeah, I buy it. She looks terrible. She really is just like, she's like, ugh.

And Brom was like, yeah, I mean, it's not zombie night until something comes back up from the grave. So Britney throwing God feels pretty on brand. So Brittany comes back. She's like, I got a little seasick, sorry. And then the crew brings out some tequila shots. So Britney starts sipping it. And Martha's like, can I just saying something? I was a lawyer here and just would like to bring up a matter of evidence.

Why are you drinking tequila when you just threw up? Because I'm trying to feel better, Meredith. That's why. They'll give her a break. Yeah, why is it your business, Meredith? Why do you even care? She's like, well, is there anyone here who thinks that drinking vodka when you don't feel that? Why are you the expert in vomiting?

No, I'm not. But is there anyone at the table? Well, listen, Brittany, you're about to make me go into my British accent very soon, so you better watch your mouth, because I'm about to speak British. I'm about to speak British. Well, guess what? It's already happening now. I have a British accent on Broadway. Well, I think that's her business. She wants to drink dogs, so she's just drinking dog hairs. No, Willie, it's hair. Hair of the dog. Like, you know, Angie's a hairdresser. The dog has hair. Hair of the dog. Try it from the top. You exploited my vagina. Well, I wouldn't say the same thing to Heather. I would say it's

my daughter, I would say it to me body as a human man. Well, the rocket, you just got to me for a second. I'm just trying to feel better. Not that I care. You know what? I'm actually concerned about something I saw on TikTok that says that you don't have a British accent. I, well, I cannot control when I have become British, but that's just something that happens to me when I'm extremely angry about something. Wait a minute.

What did you see on TikTok? What did you say? Yeah, well, I saw something on TikTok today about Seth's possible indiscretions. And Brom was like, oh, mm-mm, mm-mm, no, no. Was he farting? Please say he was farting. Todd really does not like being alone on this boat. What are you saying?

Yeah, what are you saying? So we see them watching TikTok, and there's someone on there saying, an Uber driver sent a picture of Seth riding around with his mistress in Columbus, Ohio, allegedly. And the mayor's like, well, my husband does not. have a mistress. We are in a monogamous marriage because your boyfriend breaks up with you every time he wants to sleep with someone else. That's your problem. But I'm hashtag monogamar. So don't get a question. Monogamal. Okay. I'm monogamon. You are, and Brittany's like, uh-uh, I break up with him. He

doesn't break up with me. Oh, you are a liar. You are a malicious. And you know what? I'm not interested in you trying to interfere in my relationship because you're jealous that you can't hold them down. I am so angry I'm going to pronounce every single syllable and some bonus ones in the word malicious. Here I go. Malachios. It's all over TikTok. No, I have not seen it.

But, man, nor do I can. You are good. I see it. I saw it. I saw it. She showed me. It was really good. So, like, when they showed, like, Seth and he was in the plane, and he's like, can I do this anymore?

And he's like, no, you can do it. And then he had, like, there was a goose behind him. But then a goose fell out of the plane. And Seth was, like, really sad. Okay, you're talking about Top Gone, which literally has nothing to do with anything here. It's not even a vague. reference to something we're talking about oh okay i didn't see it listen if you don't want to share i totally get that i mean it must be really hard having a husband who's cheating on you on ticot and an

uber she's like me she needs to stay a one and by the one one thing that we have not even referenced is that this entire fight is happening while meredith has like a fake knife that's going through that or it's like a saw it's like a queen saw saw they all have like like cleavers, axes, knives, and they're having this big fight and they're accusing each other infidelity when they have all these things sticking out of their heads.

It is, like, the visuals, I feel like we just totally failed because, like, the visuals of this entire fight are so hilarious. They all look ridiculous. And Meredith just gets so mad. So she takes her saw out of her head. She's like, I am mad.

And she takes her saw head band up and throws it across the deck. I am that mad. I don't even want to have a saw, a fake saw in my head. Because, you know what, you saw? You saw nothing. That's why I'm taking the saw out of my head.

and I'm suddenly British again. Oh, my gosh, you're throwing something at me again? You're throwing something at me again? Oh, my God, she's throwing something at me. I threw it over there. I threw it at Daisy because she is a server. Brittany, why are you so smug and laughing? Like, literally, look, Meredith, that was me tapping in.

That was me tapping in. Hey, Britney, you're smug. Yeah. So Meredith's like, I did not throw anything, okay? And Britney's like, well, you broke a glass. I mean, that's like, no. you tried to throw it at me and I put my hand out and I somehow summon some sort of magical power where I deflected all water and glass with my little palm and there are many freeze frames of it on the internet now marveling at my ability to deflect physics so she even changed her Instagram profile to say Meredith waterbender I know it's actually like an amazing shot like when I saw it happen it was just like it looked like just water that she deflected but when you actually see the freeze frame she literally has her hand out. And the water, she like created a force field, and the water is just like horizontal and all going back.

It's like the most amazing thing that Meredith has ever done. And Brum was like, no, no. You broke a glass on me, Brittany, while you were throwing it at her. Meredith's like, well, I don't know why Britney's even talking to me. I mean, my marriage, my, my husband. I've not talked about all the stuff out there about Britney. Like, there's plenty to talk about with him. So leave me alone.

Leave my husband alone. leave my toddler with a seizure alone. Somewhere Sean is like, Hi, Todd, Meredith Marks, yes. I don't want her around me. She's filled with hate. Keep her away. You guys, there's a problem with her marriage,

and I just want to give her a safe space. I mean, poor thing. Her husband is cheating in Uber's. So dessert arrives, and Brahman's like, can I have the sawback? I just really hate that Meredith's like fell out of her zombie theme. Thank you. So Captain Jason comes down

Because he's supposed to join them for dessert But the fight is still going I mean should I bring up all the troll commentary But every single person here Should I do that? And Brittany's like, we're not saying it's true We're just saying it's like You know if you need to talk

This is a safe space Oh money I don't need to talk to you So Heather's like Oh my God Captain Jason The guy that I fucked around with Just kidding I don't know why I said that

Why did I say that? Can I confirm or deny? Oh my God, it's Jason, everybody. Oh, well, you know what? Do we need to talk about what I've seen? About everyone else's homes? Because I don't think so because I don't do that. How's the dessert, ladies?

Well, I mean, it's just gross. I mean, not the dessert's fine. But this one over here, Britain is just gross. Just like her. Oh, she's vile. Get her away from me. I knew a year ago, and I know it now. Get her away from us.

Captain Jason has just walked off, and Lisa's like, wow, look at how he just, like, gracefully declined. I'm so impressed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he declined. Wasn't that great you guys chased him off the fucking table? That's Captain Jason.

He's our friend, right, Whitney? When he's like, yeah, that's our friend. well everyone the zombie ice cream cake is delicious and somehow that just ends the episode but wow I actually controversially I actually thought this episode was funnier than last episode last episode was funny but this one I thought was hilarious because you had another thing we didn't really highlight is that Angie was sitting there with her like broken finger bleeding into a towel while she's still dressed as like an inflatable fish I'm like just so just the visuals on this show are really hitting on levels that are

unseen before on Bravo. Yeah, funny fucking show. Really, really good. I look forward to it every week and just watching some of these episodes twice. I was like, God, they're even better the second time. It's so good. Yeah, it really is the only show where they can scream

about bloggers and leaks where it doesn't annoy me. And so, like, it's just because they're such a good cast. So, Bravo. Bravo to Bravo. Everybody. We will be back next week with some more of this nonsense. And we will talk to you next time. Thanks for being here, everybody.

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