Watch What Crappens - #3067 Wife Swap The Real Housewives Edition S1E3: Pig of Snarkasm

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Wife Swap: The Real Housewives Edition features Emily Simpson trying to get a woman to love her husband as much as she loves her pig. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much with crappins. Hello there's And welcome to watch what crappins. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben, hello. Hello. Hello, Rondola.

How are you? Good. Today is a great day. It's finally the episode we've all been waiting for of Wife Swap, the Emily Simpson Apple Zone. I know we're all dying to see some more Emily on our televisions. And guess what? The good Lord delivered Emily coming around the corner. Just entertaining as hell today on Bravo. So congratulations on all the great work you did. Emily Simpson, everybody. For a round of a plus. An icon. An icon of the housewifery arts. Yeah. We're going to get into that. But before we do, Monday is Amazon Live. That's at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon. Okay. You can watch that on your TVs on your Amazon Prime app. Or you can come find links at our Instagram, link in bio. And come talk to us over there. We always have a good time reading your comments, talking about what we're shopping for, et cetera. So join us for that. And we are also going to be having a meetup at BravoCon. We're not sure of the date or the time. But if you're going to be at BravoCon, it's going to be. a free event. We just want to meet you guys and hang out with you and party with you a little bit. So just check our socials for that. We'll announce it probably the day of that we do it in BravoCon. So keep your eyes out. It won't be a lot of notice. Just know it's going to happen and you are coming. Okay. Yeah, it's going to be good. We're in talking to some people that it'll should be fun. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Also, we have a two episodes left, a two episodes.

We have a two episode left of dwell hello before it is dead and buried. for a while. So come on over and give us some suggestions. Watch What Crapins at gmail.com. Title, your email, subject header, dwell hello suggestion, and make sure it's on HBO Max or YouTube TV. You guys, we want the craziest house hunters you've ever seen. We don't want to end on some boring ass things. So send us the funniest craziest ones. We've liked swingers. We've like nudists. We've liked, you know, the guy who was the young gay guy who was trying to live in Monaco but couldn't afford it so he was you know living across the bridge we love that crazy shit so send us all your best ones there and we will recap them the next two weeks okay

also you know I have to say I'm going to put in a special request I always love a mother daughter episode those always crack me up so anything with mothers and daughters will specifically a mother who hates her daughter specifically yeah a mother who is disapproves of her daughter's choices and the mother and the daughter who is rebelling against her mother but somehow they're trying to keep it all in together because they're on TV on and looking at houses like that is really a there was one that took place in Alabama that we did that I still remember to this day that was just so wonderful so um yeah speaking of let's talk about wife swap where emily's daughter clearly hates every mother figure in her life oh and abel and emily hates her own mother so let's go

check it out it's wife swap season one episode three daddy duties and Daddy tones. That's a, that might be a, I'll play on words because there's a lot of duty in this episode. So we start, Taco in my pocket and another taco going downtown. I may agree, but I'm Emily. I'm in Orange County, but I'm from Ohio. I'm a lawyer, but I also like to party plan.

I'm a bitch. I'm a lawyer. I've got tacos in my pocket. I'm a sinner. I'm a sick. So we open at Emily. I don't know why we're on that. But Emily is opening her at home today.

She says she needs to do her laundry. And Shane goes, huh, you mean you need to, you need to have me do the laundry. King of snarkasm. To the right. Oh, we're not doing it anymore. Okay.

I do laundry too, Shane. So how, and he's like, really? How are the household duties divided? It's like, well, 60, 40, 60 in your favor? Maybe 70, 30. My name is Emily Simpson, and I live in Orange County. My name is Shane Simpson, and I'm married to Emily. King, King, Stark has some team song, anyone?

No. Okay. Only one. That's okay. Pity is a child who knows. They just start playing chess. So Emily's like, yeah, we've got three children together. Annabel Luke and Keller.

One of them all need orange things that I don't know what to do. And Shane's like, yeah, you know, I wish we had more family dinners. I think that's pretty important. That's a big thing on this show. Having family dinners and all sitting at the same table. It's a big one. It is. And it's a little shocking to hear that they're not.

family donors happening in the Simpson household considering that we spent seven years of Emily talking about how my mom would just not make time for us so she says this entire episode was pretty fascinating because we've heard Emily and how she talks about her mother and what her mother was like and then we see that Emily has become her mother in a lot of ways yeah it's pretty fascinating to see and we've also you know a lot of her time has been spent like Shane doesn't do enough and Shane doesn't you know wasn't her thing like she Shane's not emotionally available and stuff. And now we find out that Shane does everything for the kids.

So it's pretty interesting watching Emily's episode actually. And by the way, I'd never thought I would put those same words in this in a sentence together. Interesting in Emily, who'd have thought? I make chicken big donkets for my kids. You know, I make rice for Luke. And then Shane is on his own. And when she and I first got married,

it was supposed to be that I'd be home with the kids and Shane would work. And then I ended up on a TV show. I worked more than ever anticipated. I mean, it also helped that he failed to borrow 15 times so he couldn't actually work. But, you know, who would have thought? Yeah, they just leave that part out. Yeah, well, most of my time spent doing domestic duties. And Emily knows I do a lot, but I don't think she values it.

She's like, oh, my God, I guess I should have sex with it more. He does a lot. He deserves more needle. Emily, you don't have to do that. Don't worry. So Emily's like, I honestly don't know what to pack, right? This is weird. Can you open it for me?

And Annabel's like, why me? No, don't leave. I need help, Annabel, help me pack my clothing. She's like, can't he do it? And she just points the dog. Well, Annabel, that's a sort of goofy joke that only I'm allowed to make. Not you. Oh, gee, Emily, you don't know what to pack?

I don't know. Maybe some cutouts or things that are held together with a giant like napkin rings. And else you're going to pack. That's all you own. Just pack what you own. Girl, what are you going to go shopping? Annabelle's distinct distaste and hatred of her mother is so fascinating because last time we checked in with Annabelle, she was like spunky and happy and Emily was taking her to modeling gigs and she was like this ball of energy and now she's like, I'm a teenager now. That's how it works.

That's how it works. Actually, I have to say that with my nieces, that didn't happen with either one of my nieces. Isn't that crazy? That's nice. They both grew up actually nicer. We love that. Everyone's like, oh my God. you guys turned into teenagers and you're even more lovely.

They really are like little rays of sunshine. They're always like, hi. Like every time they come backstage, like, hi, yeah, hi. And they're like, oh my God, they're so sweet and lovely. Yeah, and I mean, they do say you're stupid uncle, but it's in a loving way. It's like, oh, you're an idiot, you know, not like, shut up, uncle. You know, they're like, don't talk to my friends. They're like, talk to my friends because you're an idiot.

They'll think it's hilarious. Do it. Maybe they'll put it on TikTok. me an idiot so it's cute but we didn't get so lucky with Annabelle Annabelle's like fuck you and fuck you backing bitch Annabelle's not she's not a happy camper and I hope things turned out well for her so she's like she complains about my attitude and then the next day she's like well you got your attitude for me so like whatever I mean she did I have this angry 12 year old who's on the phone all the time and I retreat to the bedroom a lot I mean

that's just how I parent huh but isn't that what she says about her mom. That's where it really clicked with me when she's like growing up, my mom was in the bedroom all the time. She wouldn't pay attention to us. She never paid attention to us. I definitely, definitely clocked that as well. And so then Emily's like, she has just on the phone too much. Now excuse me while I go FaceTime with Gina. So Gina's face up Gina and she's like, this woman has no idea what she's in for. Can you come spy for me? And if you see my daughter, you know, put it a good word for me and be like, hey, your mom is pretty cool. I don't know if you know this. I'm like, uh, let's not have this lady lie, okay. Yeah, Gina. Yeah, Gina's very

anti-line. I'm, I feel bad, but you know why? I already like the new lady better. So Shane is talking to the kids and Keller is like, I wonder who's our new mom? And he's like, she's not a new mom. She's just a lady that's coming here. Yeah, she's replacing mom. yeah well we all we all can take a vote at the end and see if like we want to replace her or not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha she's like i don't know who their family is but i hope the husband doesn't do crap and she's stuck doing it all so now let's go see you to parkridge new jersey the sims yes and uh we meet kelly and she says my pepive is when we all call When it comes to Eric, I mean, like, where do we start?

Like, there's so much. And Eric is like, I'm Eric Spenson and this is my wife, Kelly Svensson. I can introduce myself. I'm Kelly Svensson and we have three children, our 11-year-old boy, Graham, seven-year-old Adelaide, and then we have my youngest, Georgina, and then we have a pig in the house and we live on a farm. Well, it's not like really a farm. It's like, we actually live in a mansion and then I have a farm in the backyard and probably

all the neighbors love it. And I'm just like a stay-at-home mom who has to pick up shit. literally all day long. Yeah, my day literally starts at seven. I feed the chickens, feed the horses, and I take care of our children. And I get the groceries done. I do the laundry. I make dinner. My husband's a fucking idiot. By the way, if I said that, look at this lump of shit. This is my husband. This is who I married. You know what? So I can't even claim to be an intelligent person because I married this lug of nothing. Look at him. Look at him. If you got a suitcase and filled it with absolutely nothing, but it somehow weighed 350 pounds,

That's my husband. You know what? That's different because the suitcase would actually have a handle that I could fuck. This person, look at him. Disgusting human beings. I was like, wow, this lady hates her husband. Hates. Hates.

I'm like, these two are going to be divorced. Like in a year of these, this marriage is not lasting. I'm saying this right now. It is not lasting despite whatever bow they tried to put on at the end of this episode. It is over. You know, I say, look, if you're a wife that hate your husband and you're going to go on wife swap, this is your one chance. to make your case to the court why he's terrible?

I mean, we can already see kind of why because he's not great. I mean, I wouldn't say he's a horrible person or anything, but a lot of this, like, I don't do none of the housework. Like, you're dead to me, first of all. But, like, he seems to love her, but she hates him. And this is where you need to make your case of what a piece of shit this guy is. And she doesn't really. She's just like, she just kind of points in him.

She's like, what a loser, right? It's like, oh. She's actually, like, mean. Like, I was surprised. The arc of the episode is a little. surprising because she's just she hates him so much and she you can see she barely can tolerate his presence so then we meet by the way their kids are so cute and so adelaide is like mom does all the cooking mom does the cleaning and dad ruins everything i was like whoa okay i wonder if mom has been in

the ears of these kids you know that that goes off to work 100% just like your father ruins everything around here if you're unhappy about something it's because of your father yeah so she's like well house is very much reminiscent of like the English countryside, okay, which probably everybody in New Jersey says, but it's true. And ever since I was a little girl, I was dreamed of having this big backyard farm. And Eric loves the farm, right? Eric, he definitely loves the farm. You better fucking love the farm. Eric loves the farm. And you know what? He's the biggest fucking cow here. So I hate the farm. I never thought I'd be buying hay, you know? And like, you know, when they say make hay when the sun shines, I didn't think that was literal. And they think things like

that and paying for a vet. Oh my God, it's crazy how much they're charged. I'm effectively like a walking ATM for the family and the pig. I feel like at times I'm, but like I'm the dad and I have to sponsor everyone's happiness and it's like a thankless job. Okay. Like, well, who's better trained, the pig or Eric? Um, I don't know if I like that question. It's like the pig, of course. He's like, yeah, well, I'm a medical director at a large health care facility and it's a lot of work. You know, it's a stressful period, you know? I don't think I'm appreciated. Appreciate it.

Yeah, he works. But I'd love for him to take more of an active role in the household. And I'd love his main role to be shutting up. That would be great. Could you take more of a role in shutting the fuck up, Eric? He's like, well, do you want to come to work and have lunch with me? And she's like, why is that so important with you? What, like spending time with your wife in the middle of the day, in the middle of your

stressful day at a medical facility? You want to actually like have some sort of like breath of fresh air for someone who's supposed to love you what that's a crazy notion eric it would be an expression of love and care she's like i'm not like your mommy coming to bring you lunch fucking moron no go take a shower please i was like i feel like i'm supposed to hate the husband but like why am i angry at her right now yeah she's she's not she's a peach this one for sure and i'm saying all of the evidence points to the husband's an asshole like everything we learn i'm like i would probably resent him too and not like him either, but she's just not playing this very well.

Well, I mean, like we can also see that she is, you know, it's not just like, oh, she's not just like rude or mean. It's like it comes from as a response to him, right? But they're in some terrible, like terrible feedback, negative feedback loop where she's just like kind of nasty and he's like, okay. So then, but then he sort of like pulls away, but then that causes her to be nasty. And so they both kind of have to stop their cycle. Well, that's their.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Love language. No, but I think it starts that way where it's like one snarky and kind of makes fun of the other one. Everything's like, oh, my husband, am I right? Like my parents have that dynamic. Growing up, my mom would be like, oh, God, my husband, wouldn't idiot. And he doesn't do anything for the kids.

You know, but she always loved my dad. They're still together. You know, they still love each other. But now, as years have gone on to watch with that. that kind of used to be funny banter, you know, like, look at my idiot husband. It's not like, you fucking moron, Eddie. You know, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And if you even say anything to her, like, God, that's really harsh.

Like the other day I called, and I was like, hey, just calling to see how you're doing. She goes, Eddie, Eddie, I said get the plate. Get the play of Eddie. It's right there, Eddie. Are you fucking blind? God damn it, Eddie. It's I get it right there. Why don't have to do that every fucking thing for you?

By the way, Ronnie, we didn't get anything for our anniversary from you. Did you send us anything? I was like, what do you want me to send you a gun? I'm like, Jesus Christ. I didn't marry him. But, you know, to her, that's just like the way they talk. I think it just starts little and then it snowballs into this terrible, like, emotionally abusive thing. And when you're in it, I don't think you can see it unless other, even when other people say it.

Because she starts crying when she's called out at the end. And she's like, oh, my God, I don't even know how to stop this, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So Eric is like, I just want to be acknowledged, you know, No, because she does give the animals a lot of kisses. And maybe I'll put a horse head or something on and then she'll give me a big hug and a kiss. I don't know.

I think we see like a video of her like being like, oh, cute to all the animals. But then with him, he's like, she's like, ugh, like squirting like windex in his face. Oh, yeah. It's like the lady you see with the dog in the home goods. He's like, come on, my little honey. Come here, my sweet little baby. And you're like, oh, excuse me. I was here first.

Go around. And she's like, later on, a pigeon lands on her table. And she's like so much more friendly and affectionate towards that pigeon than she ever is to this man. She's like, hi, love. How are you? And this guy's like, hey, get out of my face. Get on my face, you stinky fucking monster. So she's like, well, I'm doing a swap because I hope that Eric learns how much I actually do around the house and keep it nice and smooth so that he can walk in, have his dinner, his fresh undies without lifting a single finger.

Yeah. And by the way, let's all. He just goes. Burn. Burn. And she goes, Adelaide, did you finish your homework? Like, yeah, I did. Oh, you guys, I'm going to find out where I'm going. And so the girl's like, I'm guessing Utah, where are you going to? Like, please give us Meredith Marks. Please, Meredith Marks. I can, yes. I con mother. But she's going to Orange County, California. She's like, I wonder who I'm trading with. And she's like, oh, you're screwed if it's Terry Debrough. Let's just say that's, let's just say that. Okay, because like, that's the guy that's going to take me in it

Ferrari with the gray hair all around. I'm going to be living the high life then. It's a poor girl. He's like that's your worst. Yeah. That's your biggest dream to be riding around in a Ferrari with fucking Mama Elsa over there. And Kaylee's like, that's your worst nightmare, right, honey? And he's like, my worst nightmare is you going across the country to live with another man for a week.

God. I like being verbally ignored. I like knowing when I'm being ignored because you're coming in here saying, I'm fucking ignoring you. okay but like actually being ignored i don't know i feel about that oh she's like i've never left eric alone without three children my whole life it's frightening just like frightening like i like i pray for him so then the preacher's asking the kids um how they think their dad will do and graham is like um probably not that good it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.

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Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus. I'm going to New Jersey. where's Park Ridge? And then I'm both goes in New Jersey. She's coming along so well with this sarcasm. Okay. Well, I'm thinking Jersey.

I hope that they have a dog because I decided I'm a dog person now. At least one dog. That would make me feel more at home because you don't have houses like this in Orange County. Look, I'm driving through New Jersey. Look at these houses.

Oh, is it a farm? It's a farm. Does that mean it's a real farm? Whoa. She has dogs, Emily. I know, but like she made, she's making dogs her personality now. Like it used to be that she just had Fisker, but now she's like fostering dogs and everything. She's sort of going down to Kyle Richards, you know, path of like, I'm a dog person now.

Yeah. So Kaylee's like, well, I cannot believe I'm going to be, get to be able to be a housewife. Like, I mean, everyone has to have a brain to row for a G-wagon, right? No, sorry, you're going to Emily's house. The only way this would be worse if you were going to Gina's house. They're like, oh, my, why? You get to do your grocery shopping on this bicycle. Okay, so one thing that I tell my kids

is every day you've got to put a brick in the bedroom so that way we can finally finish the wall between the bunk beds. Yeah. So, Emily. And I was like, wow, there's so many horses. It's very inquisional. Oh, my God, there's a pig inside.

There's a freaking pig in here. Oh, God, that's better than a dog. Oh, my God, you're a pig. Hi, hi, do you have a name, big? Do you have a name? Oh, my gosh. Show me around, big. This is, this is so hilarious.

It's me with a pig. Oh, my God. And there's crocs. Oh, no. She loves the pig, hates the crocs, which I like. And that pig is very cute. I love that. Cute pig.

And he's so sweet. But I like that she disses the pig. She's like, ooh, I thought the pig would be softer. It's so wiry. What are you judging the pig for? Probably felt the same thing about you. Just get in here. It's the pig's house.

Also, I thought you were raised on a farm. I feel like that's like known like a pig is wiry like that. I'm a city boy. Well, yeah, I don't know about her all raised on a farm thing because she doesn't seem to know what she's doing. Like when she has to clean poop and she's like, oh, I never had to do this on a farm. So everybody has to clean shit on a farm, Emily. I don't. Yeah.

Kelly walks into Emily's house and she's like, okay, look, so maybe we're in the servants quarters before we get to the main de bro household. Right. Like this is just, we're not in the full. We're just walking into the compound and then soon we'll get the atrium. Right. Oh, oh, it's Emily. Oh, okay. Heather's like, I like her. I like her. She'd cast her. I think it's funny because usually on this show, it's the housewives walking into the other women's houses. And I'm like, ew, gross. I don't know if I can live like this. But now it's the wife swap lady. He's like, oh, my God, on TV, these places look big. This is actually a shoebox. Am I supposed to live in here? What is this? The pottery barn? God. I mean, honestly, what doesn't really get articulated is the fact that, like, this woman's house is actually quite large. She has a full size. She has a mansion in New Jersey.

And that's like the farm that they have is like one of these kind of a hobby farms in the back, right? Because they have a mansion. They have all that space. And then they go into, she goes into Emily's kind of like a little McMansion that's wedged in with other Lego pieces of the neighborhood. And she's like, oh, okay. But one thing that was interesting that I've never noticed in Emily's house before, maybe I just haven't paid attention. Shocker to Emily's, is that Emily has this whole living room with like a grand piano and like a high ceiling. I feel like we never see that room.

I feel like we're only in the kitchen and the area with the sofas that are just off of the kitchen. I had no idea she had a tacky living room too. Oh, yeah. That's where she does her confessionals. There's always a piano behind her. I remember because one time I was like, that's like the least musical person I could ever imagine. But she's got a beautiful grand piano. Could you just imagine, Emily?

she goes the song piano man I'm like please no God Under pressure I don't know why I should see I meant to sing pressure by Billy Joel But instead I sang under pressure by Queen and Divi So she talks about growing up on 12 acres riding horses, bear back

That's how she was raised But there's also a goat in there And her shoes were destroyed Even though she knew she was coming to a farm She's like, my shoes are destroyed. So, Emily, I didn't see these shoes, but I've seen a lot of your shoes. And being covered in shit can only help. Also, like, Kaylee is, I do love this because she says, well, this place is not really my style.

I mean, I like it. If she likes it, I like it. I mean, there's not a lot of stories being told with the design of this house. It feels like I just kind of walked into a pottery barn. Don't want to judge, though. Like, every woman who's gone into a real house, home so far has kind of said the same thing but this is the one that feels like it burns more because the other two homes it was like oh we're just in this like these gleaming white houses

where we feel like it's like it's there's nothing should be touched but here's the one where kelly actually says like the furnishings are just kind of like mid-tier consumer i mean i know pottery barn is expensive but for a real housewife it should be like way above pottery barn i was like i just love that she just took into a pottery barn the shade yeah the not even not even not even what's I called Crane Barrel Yeah She's like

This is ugly Period Yeah So let's see So now they Read their notes To each other Write their letters

And she's like Well first Let me introduce you To my family This is my husband Of 16 years He comes off As very sarcastic

And snarky And I guess that's Emily's letter to Kaylee And she's like Yeah that sounds Familiar They share

Kid Responsibilities And so Kaylee's jealous of that. And she's like, I would say that my husband does more than me. She's like, oh my God, really? How do you find one of those? God, this is the first episode of the show ever where someone is going to be jealous of having Shane as a husband. I know, honestly. Okay, what does she say? She says morning start at 7 a.m. The horses, goats, pigs, chickens get fed. Ask Adelaide. Excuse me, I did not consent to having my daughter being on the show. No different

Adelaide, Chad. Go back to Orange County. Okay. Ask Adelaide. not Eric. Okay. Then are stupid. Don't ever ask the boys to do anything around here. So to clean the barn, please use a trash can and get all the poop. And don't let Eric make you do everything. He needs to be a better partner.

I think she's been catering to him for a long time. So then how do you switch that? Enter me, Emily from Orange County. So then in the other letter, Annabel's 12. She's feral and sassy. And it's impossible to get through to her because she's all on her phone all the time. So if you can break through her tough exterior and find a way to communicate with her and bond with her, I'd love that. In other words, take a hammer to the phone.

So the Spenson's arrive and I guess the dad's probably still at work. So instead, the kids come in and they're really cute. And then Kaylee's mom, Sue, arrives. She goes, hi, I'm Sue. But they call me Papa just in case you get confused. I let you work that one out. I was like, why do we, Why are we not getting, why are we not going deeper on that? Why is Sue called Papa? Yeah, I don't know. But I liked her, Sue. I needed more of her.

And I was like, okay, well, what's the pig's name? Because your mom called him Piggy. His name is Pikachu. She's like, oh. So now we go to Shane and Shane's like, well, I'm going to make dinner for the kids. She's like, well, can I help? And he's like, no, I'll get it. She's like, oh, my God, are you sure?

You've not met my husband, but he doesn't do that. Do you work out? Were you doing push-ups? Oh, my God. Could you do this in a towel? I love you. Can I move in here? Please, just take me.

What time is dinner if you guys? Annabelle's like, I just eat. Okay. By the way, Kaylee seems terrified of these children the entire episode. She's like tiptoeing around like, hey guys. So Kaylee's like, in our house, we eat dinner every night at 5 o'clock. And I think the biggest thing that Bond's family are those traditions. I'm like, wow, five o'clock is so early.

It's really important for your children to see you be raiding their father at dinner altogether because otherwise, you know, you know, stories get twisted. You know, I just want them all to be there. So then Shane is like, okay, so it's Friday and we're going to go out to dinner, just you and I, and these kids can figure out how to take care of themselves where we're out.

She's like, what? Seriously? No, they have a babysitter. I mean, do you know about the King of Snarkas and thing? It's kind of my thing. No. Okay, let me take it back here. We got music. Okay, go right.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we're going on. We're going to go out to dinner. Go ahead. We're going to go to, yeah, we're going to go to a place called P.F. Chang's. It's very fancy. I'm going to ask him if they could do non-Chinese food and only a grilled chicken breast. So then Emily's rule, Friday date night. Friday date night has to happen.

Like, I do have to say this episode has been, has been. been really good for Shane. Shane really is coming in like a night and shining armor in this entire show. Yeah, he really is. So she's like, but seriously, we're going to dinner and he goes, you do eat dinner, don't you? She's like, yeah, but my husband and I, we never go out. So that's like, you know, that's crazy. He's not going to be happy to see that on TV. I'm telling you right now. Me and a restaurant, a real restaurant, people are going to come over to me and take my order. Oh, my God. Can I call one of them, honey? Just ask him how his day was at work and and then tell them to shut up.

We don't care. Great. To be fair, we're just going across the street to my mom's house, but she pretends to be a waitress and serves us food. But it's real fun. You'll like it. And she's like, wow, she can cooks and cleans. I didn't think husbands exist like that,

but apparently they do. Apparently they do. So now, Kaylee's rule, muck the barn daily. So Sue is like, you haven't mucked a barn before? And she's like, oh, yeah, I'm from Ohio. I grew up with horses. is okay so then you're okay so here take this rake she's like yeah but i've been in orange county for a long time so it's you know it's so dirty in there i don't know what to do she's like

take a pitchfork okay and call me papa oh okay uh you keep telling me that i oh i got you so well we're just supposed to get the dirty hay out she goes yep okay and also the manure oh there's so much poop i'm cool with cows and horses but this isn't what i envisioned Well, do you think they have toilets? Think they have smart toilets? Get in there. I know. So Kaylee is like, Annabelle, do you want to come help me with my makeup for like a hot second?

I'm the cool mom now. She's like, no. Oh, okay. What am I doing? What did I sign myself up for? I don't know what to do with this. Brett. So back at the other house, Emily's exhausted from the poop cleanup.

She's like, oh, I've worked in 16 years like this. So they asked the kids, what's the hardest thing for Emily to be like their mom? And Graham, the little smart ass, is like, managing my dad. That's the biggest one. He's really dumb. I hate him. Managing my dad. That kid's saying managing my dad.

That's, I love that. So then Eric comes home. It's like, hey, hey, I've heard a lot about you. Oh, I've never met someone from the, oh, sorry, I was speaking for you. Sorry, that wasn't part of the rules. Yeah, I've never met someone from the OC before. Oh, so what should we do after dinner? Well, we go for walks as a family.

We walk down the street a lot. And sometimes we take the horse, which everyone loves. They say, God, I love taking a walk also through all the horse shit that that other family leaves around. Yeah. All right, let's put our shoes on. So they go for a walk. And they have to get the horse haltered up because they walk the horse. And she's like, oh, you guys are doing the horse halter, right?

And it's like, yeah, Adelaide, you do the halter? I don't do the halter. I don't do that. The kids do it. So she's like, I know how to do it. I know how to do it. And then they open the gate and the horse just runs off and it's not altered. Like, damn it.

You just let the home's horse go. The horse is like, I'm going to Orange County, bitch. So Tamara horse. I'm out of here, bitch. You'll never see me again. I hear of the husband who takes his wife had to dinner in Orange County. I'm out of here, bich. Twelve years.

Twelve years. This film has been tormenting. me, you'll never see me again. Bitch. So they have to go catch a horse and it's not so hard. And they're like, Emily, get on the horse. Get on it. It's like, oh,

God. So then they halted the horse. And Emily is like, oh my God, I I've been here five minutes and I'm already having the man handle the horse. You know, I've just met Eric and I don't know him very well. But he clearly does not know how to handle animals, even though he has a whole bunch of him

in his backyard. Boy, if you didn't wrangle in the horse back there, it would have been a crisis. Like, that horse wasn't going to go anywhere. That horse was, it was like, I'm just here for the carrots. Like, I'm, I'm just running around, but like, you show me a carrot and I am in your palm, lady. Yeah, how are you going to lose a horse? They're pretty big. And also, they always come back for sugar cubes.

But like, horse, they want the carrots. They're in it. I love the carrots. Give me the carrots. I swear, okay, this is my last one. And then I will never have a carrot again, but I just need this one last one. Just one last carrot. Come on now. So Emily is like, well, I like that the goats are eating your neighbor's shrubbery.

Should we apologize the house or should we move on? He's like, yeah, I think we should just move on before the police are called at us. Okay. And then, of course, the horse starts to poop. Oh, no. Yeah. That's the thing about walking a horse. They're going to poop big old loads of them.

So then we go to date night with Shannon Cayley and she's like, oh, my God, date night. I haven't been on a date night in a long time. I'm just going to be boring. I'm just going to do cheese pizza. Is that okay? Can I have the kid's portion? That's what my husband allows me to have. Oh, my God.

I can't believe we're here. I mean, honestly, this lady, so obviously, I feel like before she even made it to Orange County, I'd be like, this is a plain cheese pizza girl. That's just what she is. I say that as someone who often orders a plain cheese slice. I was going to say, I'm not going to speak because I'm literally a cheese pizza person. That's all like you.

It's just surprising that she's coming from a New Jersey, I thought she'd be like, can you put some like a pepperon, but then again she wants her house to look like the English countryside, not the Italian countryside, so we already know that like she's a little different than a normal jersey I don't think she eats pizza normally. I think that's why she's like

oh my God, can I get the cheese pizza? This is crazy. I'm having carbs because I feel like she's always, you know, she's the mom and it's like a couple of bites at dinner and then kind of looks judgmentally at her children as they eat more than that and she's like, well you know, I wish we could learn to eat how I'm eating Look at these two behind you.

I would love to do this more with Eric. It just seems so overwhelming. My husband, he works so much. And he wants his traditional housewife and somebody that just stays at home. And like the tricky pot is that I still feel guilty that I don't financially bring. I'm not bringing in any income. I'm like, well, that's because you decided that you had this dream of having a farm in the backyard. And now you have to spend all day taking care of it.

And like, you're miserable with your own dream. Yeah, sometimes I think it's okay to be like, you know what, dream, you suck. getting a different dream. You don't have to admit to your dream. You don't have to marry and get a different dream, you know? Yeah, donate the animals to a local, like, you know, I don't know. Eat the horse. Guess what? Tonight you're French, you're eating the horse. She's like, I wish I had, I wish I'm not bringing any money in. I feel bad. It's like, lady, because you are spending 12 hours a day attending to your hobby farm. Yeah, you know what? I think that people who are staying at home taking care of three kids have absolutely zero reason to feel bad about staying home. I mean,

That's hard work. I'm around these kids for two seconds. I'm a good night, goodbye. Great seeing you. I'm exhausted. Goodbye. Get out of my house. Get out of my life.

Okay. Call me for your graduation. I'll send a gift. Mm-hmm. Oh, I agree. I'm just saying like she's also added the voluntary, you know, farm dream onto it. And it's like you have to then at certain point be realistic. And I don't say that she shouldn't feel guilty because I understand like she wants to be an active participant and bring in the money.

but it's like you're either going to be like you're really going to be tended to this farm all day long or you're going to do some sort of business or monetize or whatever but like whatever you're doing right now it's like I don't know maybe we consider the farm part that's all I'm saying well I think having the single income family sounds good a lot of the times like I'm going to do this old school I'm going to stay home we're going to have a single income but you don't realize that when you have another income coming in you can be like we're going to dinner every Friday night you know like you don't get to just say because you earn the money that we're

We're not going to dinner. It's like that power that somebody else has that's really gross. So you have to do at least something. Just earn dinner money. That's what I say. However you do it. Only fans. I don't care.

Only farms. So Kaylee is like. That's probably a thing. People like, I've jerked off to your horse today. That's good. Well, that is what,

I mean, there is that site like farmer meets lady or something. I don't know. Which I think ultimately brought the McBeas into our world. so Kaylee right because he wasn't he on like farmer meets wife so Kaylee is saying like well it goes you know you're you're hoping Emily's going to come back with anything different for a different perspective on anything he's like yeah you gave me some hope because Eric doesn't do anything that funny like yeah I would like it if Emily came home and said thank you more and some sort

of recognition for the things I do yeah I would like that she just wants a thank you and so he's like you're going to bed without putting the kids to bed. And she's like, oh, my God, that's so weird. Like, I'm just going to be walking circles in my room. Like, what do I do with myself? What do I do with myself? Why does this house have no style, et cetera, et cetera? You know what I'm saying?

Pottery barn. You know, you just can't style your place like pottery barn and not have animals too. It's really hard on me. So Emily is putting her kids to bed. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Yeah. No, go ahead.

So Emily's putting her kids to bed. And Eric's, then Eric's from. trying to put his kids to bed, you know, and, uh, they tell Adelaide, it's 812. And she's like, so, how about we just put your pajamas on? Let's get ready for that. Paley's rule, mommy does bedtime alone. So Emily's like, okay, everyone, where's Graham? Georgina, you go there, you put your pajamas on.

Oh my God, do you do this? Oh my God. Kids are in bed, but it's 9.30 and they're already out. This is hard. So she's basically like trying to herd cats, but she has no help from Eric on this front. Yeah, Eric doesn't help do shit. So, you know, I do see where Kaylee's coming from is for saying and where this is this person because I don't care if you work all day. You still need to do stuff with your kids.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's working too. Yeah. So, yeah, he's he's useless. But also Emily is not. You can tell that Emily's a useless one too because she's like, oh my God, it's so hard.

There's three kids. You have to put him to bed. So now it's Saturday morning and Emily has to make breakfast. But guess what? Shane makes breakfast over in Orange County. And Kelly's like, I feel like I've woken up in a hotel. A very small hotel with bad interior design, but a hotel nonetheless. It feels good. I mean, it's the best Western, but a hotel's a hotel, am I right?

This is not the worst Western. Midwestern. Mid-Western. You want some waffles? And she's like, I would love a waffle. Thank you so much. This is so lovely. So then in the other house, Emily's going to help feed the horses, and she's matching the kid's outfit.

It's really cute. So Kaylee's rule collect chicken eggs, so they start doing that. And she has the names of all the chickens. And Adelaide's like, we don't name them. She goes, you got to name them. Well, we don't name things that we eat. Name them. Come on.

I mean, every year on our show, we get someone new to hunt, and we still name them, okay? Yeah. What's this one right over here, the one named Tamara? Oh, you got a, you got a fan, that one, yeah, this one. Hey, is this, go ahead. Look at that, that chicken. Did that chicken just get baptized? It really is a tamar chicken.

Oh, and look, there's a fancy chicken. Well, the shocking is like how they put side by side images, and the chickens really did look like the real housewives. Like, there was one of Heather. It was like a black and white chicken. And then they got to a shot of Heather wearing a black and white dress. That's just, she looked just like the little chicken. We'll call her fancy pants.

Oh, and this one's named Shannon, because it just got pulled over. That one keeps clipping the house. The call is Shannon. Chicken running into the cage. Wait a second. That chicken just put the other chicken in a size 10 Susan Bender jean jacket. No.

There was one that's lost all its feathers and it used to be named Moon. And she's like, well, that tracks a lot. You have no idea. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So she asked who the kids spend more time with the mom or the dad. And Adelaide's like, well, mom, because every Monday we horseback riding after horseback riding, we go to the dinner.

Oh, do you wish you spend more time with dad? Yeah, a little bit. Does he stay in his office a lot? Do you wish he came out and like did more fun things with kids and your mom? Emily, you're leading the witness. She does it the whole episode. Every time she talks to them. She's like, whoa, do you just wish your family with the kids?

different your father made more effort uh she's like okay so then eric's like hey you guys doing okay you guys want you guys gonna have some lunch all right good luck i'll be in the office tell me how that lunch turns out for you okay well here's a can of soup i was like this is the first house wife swap we've seen of the three where i'm not feeling warm tingles like melissa gorga melissa gorga last week did it and she was like it's like you know what Melissa Gorga, she's really expressing so much warmth. And like, Emily definitely was warm on this episode, but there was

something about her being like, here, kid, you want lunch? Here's a can of soup. And I know kids eats cans of soup. I know that. But there just was something like a little sad about this one, right? There's like a sadness on both fronts. Yeah.

Yeah, it was definitely a more depressing vibe on this one. So she's like, I'm making this lunch for the kids. I mean, I used to can open her and pour into a bowl and Eric just watches me. Like, well, did you need help with the can opener? Yeah, seriously. Jeez.

Like the Meredith Mark's household, they all have to put a hand on it. Yeah. So she says he's going to have a rude awakening when she changes the rules. Now it's three hours until rule change. And guess who's here to face that, Gina? She's like, oh, my God. You're such a beautiful replacement family. Yeah.

Oh my God. You guys are like great. Welcome, everyone. So you're from Jersey. Oh my God. You're like my people. I'm from like New York. I figured we'd go down to the marina and get coffee. Have you ever gotten coffee before, Kelly? She's like, oh, my God. Oh, coffee. Wow. We do that. I'm going to be cool. We're allowed to leave the house for coffee. Your husband lets you do that. Yeah, because what we do is we go to coffee and then we sit down and then I yell at you. It's going to be so fun. Yeah, let's go to coffee. And Gina's like, oh my God. I'm going to start saying coffee now. now. So they go. And Kaylee's like, I'm like a stay at home mom. So it's like I do like everything. Oh my God. I understand because I used to live that life. Like do you like now I'm like a realtor and I like sell like high power realto homes and stuff to like seniors who are looking for a really really nice two bedroom in a senior living development.

So like I understand that life that I used to have. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I'm like, you're a stay-at-home mom. I'm like a stay-homeless mom. So, like, I get it. It's, like, really difficult. And she's like, oh, my God, you know, I just don't get to be social. And, you know, I'm usually talking to the pig who's eating lunch next to me.

So conversation doesn't go great. Oh, my God, you talk to pigs. That's crazy. But, like, we can do better than that, you know, because, like, my partner now, he's like my partner. Like, he's my soulmate. He's my everything. He's got big balls. But, like, you know, it doesn't take away from me always wanting to, like, lean into myself, which is, like, really hard.

Because I'm, like, ow, my rib. Because I'll be like, you know, and it hurts. Don't lean into yourself. I learned that one. But you should go to coffee every once in a while. I hope I twill you something. It's like, I can go to coffee. You can.

Yeah, you can get it. You can buy it. Yeah, it's like the same as getting sloshed, but it's like with coffee instead. It's, like, really fun. Oh, wow. That's such an interesting perspective. That's interesting in getting coffee. Like the last, you know, you know, it's funny.

The last person I do is I never please myself. Yeah, you know, it's like you have to, you have yourself backed into a corner. Yeah, like, babies in the corner. Oh my God, I got to make a joke. I never get to joke with Eric. That's so funny. Wow. Yeah.

So then Emily's like, family meeting. All right, since I've been here, we've been living by your mom's rules. So now we're going to switch it up. I'm going to bed. Bye. That's time for Emily's rules. Yes. And then we also see Kaylee's rules. And she goes, okay, everyone, before we start anything, I just want to say my rules are about being present and being together as a family. Rule number one is we're limiting the screen time. Annabelle's like. Okay. Annabelle's not happy about that. Yeah, no screen time. And I'd love to see your kids actually engaging and going outside to be active. I'm just like, oh.

And then maybe we could do some things together. Annabelle's head starts twisting around. And no pea soup is everywhere. Shane's like, Annabelle, are you going to survive? We'll see how it's going, huh? So the Emily's like, okay, everyone, all my rules are going to help you be a more present dad. Rule number one, dad now has to take care of the animals. He's like, oh, God, why does everybody hate me?

rule number two dad does bedtime dad puts you to bed and he's like oh my god you could one of the kids is like you could choose as far as to go to bed at 10 and he's like how about six seven like okay deal georgina i still want to have a dance party first oh i'm fun so then back to orange county kelly's like you know um my daughter adelaide and i always cook together so annabel like you know, maybe you'll help me in the kitchen, right? Won't you, won't you please go, you please do it? Is she mad at me? She's like, yeah, can you assist in helping dinner at Annabelle?

She's like, I only know how to make craft mac and cheese. Don't talk with your mouth fall. Okay, well, having dinner is a way to sit down. And you know what? I'd love every each and one of you. That's when we say that, okay? And I'd love to be able to sit down as a family. Can we do that?

And they're like, ew. Sit down, family. What? Okay, rule number three, everyone. And this is very important. Eric, it's like, oh, God, this is not, all the rules are just for me. It's for no one else. Yeah, you get to play on a date night tonight for us. Oh, wow. You have to cook something. Emily, the whole point is that he doesn't take her out. Have him take you out to a restaurant in New Jersey. Why would you want a man who knows how to do nothing to cook for you? Which just sounds like a terrible dinner. Make him buy you something. Yeah, go out to get some nice Italian food. You're there. And he's like, I can't even make cereal. Oh, and the daughter just slaps him. He's, oh, what was that for? Okay, this will be interesting. New Rolls start right now. Yeah, okay. So she's like, wow, it feels amazing to be doing nothing. Like, can everyone just go away? Why are these kids asking me questions? Oh, by the way, I have to keep my purse next to me because the pig likes to root through it. Does Louis Vuitton repair bags have a big chew on it? And then we see the pig.

chewing on her purse and like going through it and actually pulling stuff out, which is really funny. But, you know, like I've said, you keep fucking burritos in there. Of course the pig's going to get into it. What do you think? You get in. So, Eric is, he's like, he's working in the, he's working in the sty. And he's like, how do you got to do this every day? And his son is like, you should ask her with 20 years of bond experience.

You got the easy part, dad. What's easy? There's nothing easy. How about whoever goes there first does this pile? Let's race through the pig shit. Nothing bad could ever happen. Yeah. Falls in the pig set. Crazy, dad. Oh, no. And the kid goes, you're so fat. He's like, help. I broke my ribs. Were you leaning into yourself?

Oh. So, uh, they helped the dad. And then back in OC, uh, they're making, they're cutting sausage, Annabelle and Kaylee. And she, she does it. And she's like, oh, my God, Katie cut a sausage. This is amazing. I've taught this family so much. And back with Eric, Eric's like, is this what the pans of been this whole time. We keep pants here. Wow. Crazy. Um, yeah, Daddy, do you know how to cook? He's like, I got no idea. Oh, no, I just got ground beef in my eye. Oh, no. Please just get order take out. Yeah, I can't see nothing. Ah. So then Kaylee's new rule family dinner. Okay, so now it's Shane's family that comes over. Oh my God. You have to cook for the family to you? That's a lot. Oh, God, it's Perry and Larry. Perry and Larry come over and so does Tara. So they're all there. And Kaylee's like, oh my God, this is like amazing. It's just like West Coast version of Papa.

Oh, you mean your dad? No, my mom. Okay, it doesn't make sense to us. But okay, whatever. It's okay. Don't worry. My daughter-in-law invited me to a strip show in Vegas while she was a stripper for support. So who am I to judge?

That's right, Perry. Wait, could you repeat that? And Perry's like, this pasta looks so good. And what buttery is it? Is it buttery? What is I don't know. And I was like, mm-hmm. Stupid grandmother.

So Shane is like, okay, well, well, thank you boys for helping. Now we can talk badly about you while you're gone, right? Luke, ha, ha, ha, king it's narcasm in the making. He's like, how do you? So then Annabelle's like, I don't even care what we have for dinner. I just don't like screen time limitations. It's annoying. How am I supposed to tell how stupid this dinner is?

So now they're back to New Jersey. And they make the, they make dinner. And so Emily and Eric said in the dinner and the dining room table and the kids come in and they're cute because they're acting like their waiters and waitresses. And Adelaide's like, hello, welcome to the glorious restaurant. Tonight we're going to be serving you lasagna cups and Caesar salad. And I love that. And they've named the restaurant glorious, which is so funny. She's like, glorious, perfect. So Eric's like, okay, date night. I almost broke my fucking neck out there, you know, like cleaning poop. But I was thinking to myself like, I can't believe my wife. does us everything, God. Do you think that maybe there's something holding you back from putting more effort and around the house? Maybe we should blame her, huh?

He's like, he's like, yeah, that's it. It's not that I don't have the dedication or that I, it's not that I don't have this. It's not that I'm a lazy fuck. It's just that, you know, I don't think I'm appreciated. You know, you know, Kaylee comes in sitting down with me and watching basketball. I just wanted to watch her to watch basketball with me for 10 minutes. I mean, to me, it makes me happy, which in turn will get me more motivated to be around the family, I think.

Okay. This is like a very much like a way to do nothing and then insist that everything be on your terms. I'm like, what, what, you can't sit and watch basketball with me? What, you can't clean some cow shit one day? Clean some cow shit. Like you both have to do the things and then you both will get to do the things. Marriage is doing a bunch of stuff you don't want to do for each other.

Doesn't it sound fun? Yeah. And if you both wait for the, for one person to do the first thing first, you're never, you're just going to be sitting there real, she'll be angry at you. Because we didn't even talk about that. When she left to do her wife swap thing, she kissed all the children and refused to kiss him on the lips or the cheek or anything. He, like, hug her and she turned away, which was pretty bad. But he's definitely doing that thing that we see on below deck a lot where people where like the shitty worker is like, I'm not a bad worker.

It's just that like my boss doesn't like motivate me to work. So I feel like a better leader. Yeah. I'm not inspired. He's like, yeah, I would help out more, but she doesn't inspire me. So I just sit in in the office and I do nothing. Yeah. And I think she does the same thing where she's like, well, I'm not going to kiss him because he's not a good husband. But like you guys have to, you know, you have to tell each other this stuff. I mean, I'm not married. I even I know this stuff. This is like a simple one. And Emily's like, well, let me just wait through the BS. Okay. There's probably obligations to you where that you have to, you know, go to your office. But also, I think you go in there as an escape. Do you not? Do you not escape? Is it hot in here or what? What's going on? It's getting a little hot in here. Oh, no. what? So you feel resentment. Yeah, you feel resentment because you're not appreciated and you wish she had more gratitude and affection towards you for all the hard work to support her dreams. Done. Nailed it. Both guilty. Emily basically is doing the same thing she does on Orange County, which is like, here's the storyline we're going to go with today. Katie talks about toxic bloggers. So let's write her off. Okay, Gritchers. So Emily's like, yeah, so you wish you had more gratitude and affection coming towards you. And for

all the hard work to support our dreams. Oh my God. It's like you stole the thoughts out of my brain, which is funny because they weren't there in the first place. It's more like you just put ones in there instead. Okay. Well, let me just play the devil's advocate for a minute. All the animals are because Kaylee wants animals, right? You don't want animals, right? He's like, oh my God, like 100%. That's not my passion, but Kaylee's passion has become my passion in a lot of ways. Okay, but is it really your passion? Because clearly you want to make her happy, but your dream isn't to have goats and pigs walking around the house, but you let it happen because it makes her happy, right? So she's a bitch. That's what I'm telling you. That's what you're saying, right?

I have a question. Has Kelly ever talked about my children to podcasters? I need to know this. I need to know. He's like, oh my God, can we bottle this and ship it up to Kaylee? Because like, maybe I would get more credit. And Emily's like, well, I could see that it's not an unreasonable request, you know. I mean, I see my husband and you and then it makes me sad that I don't recognize his feelings. So maybe this same thing is happening to her, you know? And he's like, mic drop. Just good. I'm glad I created an entire marriage problem in my head. Go work it out. So over there in Orange County, Kayla's like, um, Annabel, um, do you want to come up there's when you're done with your ice cream? Maybe Annabel? Maybe she's like, huh?

Uh, you want to come up to the ice cream maybe? Huh? She's like talking, she's talking to Annabella's of Annabella's the Incredible Hulk. It's like, I don't, don't get her mad. Okay, we'll be, we'll be upstairs. Come join us. Don't show fear. How many kids do you have? This is how you act around your kids.

This is what you do. Annabel, put your fucking phone down before I put it down the garbage disposal, ma'am. Get up there. I don't want to hear any lip, okay? Or I'm going to make you comb your hair. I know. But her kids aren't that age yet, so she doesn't really know what to do. She's at the age where her kids are, like, lovely and actually, like, love their,

like, want to hang out with their mom. So then Emily is setting up the dance party in New Jersey, which is very cute. And Emily's like, the kids are amazing. They're so sweet and kind. I feel like I'm establishing a connection with them. And it makes me think, you know what? Sometimes you just have to embrace the chaos. So then meanwhile, back up in Orange County, the whole family, including Annabelle,

are like sitting around on the sofa to watch TV. And Annabel actually is lowering her guard. She gets excited to talk about bad news bears. She's like, you have to watch it. It's like the best. And I know Kelly's like, oh, I was hoping we could watch Amadeus, but I guess I'll have to watch this shitty movie just so I can have a breakdown with a kid.

I'm sorry, is F. Murray Abraham and bad news bears? Okay, okay, I guess we'll... I'm sorry, I'm kind of out of Chris and Scott Thomas kick. Would anyone be opposed to the English patient? Okay, oh, okay, more bad news bears. That's fine. Bad news bears, okay? I mean, basically that's what I call my husband. But it's okay. I'm not tricked. We can watch it. So now's the last day of the swap. And Kaylee is like,

guys, you're going to miss anything about me and looks like, everything, everything. She's like, really? Do you guys think you want to continue your family dinner when I leave? And they do. And she's like, do you want to get a pig now? And Kelly's like, yeah, if it's big and juicy, she goes, don't you dare. You dare talk about pigs like that. Little twin fuck. Listen to hear, you little freak. Hey, today is my last day of New Jersey. And I thought we'd do something that dad would like to do. So we're going to go fly fishing. So the Emily's new rule is to prioritize dad.

So they're going to, he loves the fly fish. That's his thing. They're going to, no one else wants to fly fish. They go to this like stream and they start fly fishing. And it's the kids are like, they're a disaster. They're like getting their, their fishing lines tangled around the cameraman and no one's happy. But the dad's happy. And actually the dad at some boy, like, okay, you know what?

I appreciate you guys doing this for me. This is all nice. We can't do this. Not with the kids. No, uh-uh. Like this is fun. I appreciate it. I get it. I see what you're doing. Let's just, let's move on. Let's go home. Yeah, they don't know how to fly fish because you haven't taken them fishing. That's sad.

There's a lot of broken things in this family. You know, this made me sad that you've never taken the kids fishing. That's nuts. And there actually is a genuinely nice moment in Orange County, which I think you were just about to set up. I'm sorry. Where Kaylee and Annabelle are like in the cul-de-sac on bicycles. And Annabelle is like, come I try riding my bicycle? It's like, whoa, Annabelle. she is melting a little bit yeah and she's like no no I can't ride a bicycle well I'm gonna mess up your bike

it's like oh it's fine my parents don't know this but I ran into like so many bushes and fell off it so many times one time I sped up and I crashed it through Gina's window because she's poor and she had to put plastic on it for a month

Shannon comes out of nowhere and goes young lady in the future just say that you had to walk your dog late at night which is why you crashed your bike okay just a little tip I'm an older generation to a younger one. So Emily's done and she's like,

guys, this has been amazing. He really ignited something in my heart. And I just want to go hold it. Does anyone hear that? Oh, there's popcorn popping in my purse. Doesn't anybody wants them? So then Eric, she's like, Here's a gift.

Eric, it's a dust pad. God, I really am so funny. Going into this experience, I didn't really feel like there was much to take away from someone else's life. But it makes me reflect, why don't I put more effort into my own family? And Eric is like, I've learned a tremendous amount from this experience. I have to be a better husband. I have to do better. So when Kaylee comes home, I'm excited to introduce her to a kind, this kind of newer, kind of new a version, better version of me.

where when she's cleaning up all the poop, I say, good job, honey. I'm going to go back in the office. So Kaylee's saying by to her family or her rental family. And they're both saying by to their families, basically, and everybody's crying. So now the ladies come back and hang out together to have their post, their post game, whatever. So Emily's like, I don't know what I'm getting so emotional. Keller, how are you, honey? Shane, are you taking the kids?

Get them out of here. saying to your job. And she's like, okay, well, tell me, tell me, tell me Kelly, how was Annibal? She's like, well, she was standoffish, but your two boys, they were great. They kept making all these jokes about Heather Debrough. I was like, oh, my God, they wouldn't stop. Quiet, don't you dare. They don't talk about Heather Debrough.

But you know what? We did sit for a family dinner because, you know, it creates a tradition of like, hey, your dad's an idiot, right? And she's like, yeah, I love that you did that because we don't sit down as a family. But, you know, when I was with your kids, I get emotional when I talk about your kids. I don't know why. I don't know why.

But I wanted to be around them. It made me think about how in my own house, like I go to bed instead of hanging out with my kids. You know, I go into my room and I'll just watch TV. And I thought maybe I should hang out with my own children. Maybe might be a good idea. She's like, I know. Like one thing, I got to spend some time with Annabelle.

And I knew that like that was important to you. And like one of my rule changes was just like to have it come sit up with us on the couch just so that she can be like be there and be part of the family. So I think like if you can lead with that and encourage like a little bit of family time. What? Be affectionate towards the children. Okay. But instead of being scared to do it because it's crazy and hard, we just have to do it anyway, right? Yeah, enjoy the chaos. Emily is like horrified. She's like, even though it's scary to think about spending time with my children and hard, I guess I should figure it out. And she's like, yeah, enjoy the chaos. So she's like, I reckon I had a date night. He had to cook. She goes, oh my God.

he didn't let you take him out, of course. So did he even know where the pots and pants were? She's like, no, but I could tell he was so nervous. And he recognized he needs to do more stuff around the house. You know, I think it was sad. And I'm not, you know, look, I think it works, you know, he works so hard to give you a dream life. And I don't think he feels that he's acknowledged.

Yeah, well, with some of the things I don't want to talk. Okay, there's some things I don't want to talk about right now, but it's like very hard. He cheated on me, everyone. He cheated. Okay, that's what I was getting. Do you think she's saying like he cheated? And now she's like, that's why I don't know, but I can't acknowledge it.

I don't know if it was really, I don't know if it's as extreme as cheating. But what I do get is that, like, they have marital problems. And she doesn't want to get into it. But there's, like, a lot of dysfunction that's happening. And, like, that she, I think I felt like the tears were like, I wish it were as simple as, like, just doing these things and that will fix everything. But, like, everything is really, really tough. And we've gotten to a terrible cycle.

And I don't know how to get out of it. And I feel like if we don't get out of it, we're going to wind up getting divorced. Yeah, that was where I took it. I'm just like he cheated. And she's like, yeah, and I don't, I just. And Emily's like, yeah, but he doesn't feel like he gets what he needs. And she's like, I just don't know how to fix that in myself. I mean, how am I going to suddenly want to fuck my husband?

I just can't. I have a wall up and I can't get it down. What's wrong with me? I want to be affectionate for him. But how do I be a better wife? She's like, well, I'm a terrible wife. And it still works out. So don't worry about it.

You know, I really appreciate how much Shane contributes to this family and how much he does. Yeah, he does a lot. Like, you have a wonderful partner. You know, I would naturally think that Shane or someone else deserves that. But like, why doesn't Eric deserve the same compliments that I offer your husband? I mean, not the thing about the pottery bar. I just sort of like laughed and was like, this is disgusting, you know. But all the other stuff I said was very nice.

Okay, well, I should say thank you to Shane and you should go have lunch with your husband. She goes, oh my God, not the lunch. He brought up the fucking lunch. Really? He brought up the lunch. Of course he did. Why is that so important to him? Put your walls down and have lunch.

Oh, my God, lunch. I don't know if I could do that. You know, he's going to make me drink a snapple. Okay, drink a snaple then. Come on. Do it. So she says that she struggles with loving her husband and showing it. So this is a wake-up call.

I don't know how you're going to suddenly just like show love to your husband, but I guess it works for a little while because we see the after. And it says after Eric, they have a date night. weekly and he even paired P.F. Chings with the vintage Dom. Yeah. So it's pretty big. Yeah, I forgot about that. So it's funny that I mentioned P.F. Chang's earlier. And they are, she's going, she's having lunch with him. So it looks like they're doing something. But it's funny because when she comes back, like they kiss. But then she like is, they have like a long embrace, but she still doesn't like it's a very quick kiss.

Like she still's like, I don't want to put my lips on this man. This kind of was a weird one. I don't think anything changed with Emily. She does carpool now occasionally. And then Shane took it back over. And then she took Annabelle to Paris, so they bonded. Actually, that was really nice. I actually thought that was genuinely nice. I was like, that was a really good thing.

Like, that is a good mother-daughter thing to take your daughter on vacation like that and pour some love into that girl. That was really... Unfortunately, they didn't end it with. And then she left her. Like, we didn't get the full story. Yeah, I mean, I guess it was sweet. I love the pig.

I was just here for the pig. The pig was good. The pig was good. Emily was even good, despite all the shit. I'm talking about her. I mean, but not as good as the other ones.

Walking in and just dropping a bunch of shit onto a family. Like, here's how you feel. Your wife's a bitch and she needs to do more for you. She's just like leading the witness is the perfect way to put it. But I guess it's more like she wasn't totally awful. Like she did have some nice moments. But she definitely did not shine the way Angie and Melissa did.

Angie is like the star so far. Melissa, not quite as good, but did better. And now we're at Emily. and it's like declining returns in terms of coziness, warm cuddles. Anyway, the show's still better

than I ever expected, so there's that. We have one last episode of Wiveswap coming up this Sunday. It's this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday after Potomac because it's the big Wendy episode, which looks quite hilarious. So keep an eye out for that. Yes, everybody.

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