Watch What Crappens - #307: The Non Housewives Awards!

Episode Date: July 5, 2016

We had a break today from our Real Housewives schedule, so we celebrated by giving the day its own Awards Show. Welcome to the Non Housewives Awards! We also make fun of Caroline Flemming's Insta and rummage through the mailbag, of course. Timestamps: 0 Crappens Mailbag: Bethenny Book Advice and Yolanda Awfulness 34:20 Clear the Flem 40:10 Non Housewives Awards!: Ben and Ronnie award their favorite non Real Housewives of Bravo. Happy fourth! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crappins would like to thank its gorgeous premium sponsors, Cassie Bugalski and Christy Doherty. We love you girls. There's so much that crappens. There's so much that crappens. There's so much that crappens.

Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from the Rose Pricks podcast and the Big Brother Smother podcast. And I'm here with Ben Mandelker of the B-Side Blog of the Banter Blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm doing so good. We're doing this on vacation time.

It's right after July 4th, and I'm sitting in my dad's office in Austin, Texas. Well, yee-haw. it's another cross-country podcast it sure is i'm sitting next to um a book on tape series called thrive a hope a future like some bible thing and um a bunch of files and a bunch of bibles my dad loves a bible oh that's good lots of bibles different kind i mean i don't even know. Like, are there different versions? I don't know. But the man is a collector. He's like a hotel.

Well, you know, you gotta love a Bible. So that's me. I'm just eating and sitting back in some leather chair. So if you hear me moving around and, I don't know, crying, it's because I'm home. And I'm at home in Los Angeles. And I'm coming down from my coffee high from the coffee that i had with my bagel just prior to the bonus episode uh but i'm out of coffee right now so uh you know we're just going to soldier through on this on this fine

day i know it's amazing it's crazy but maybe that's for the best because you know i think i am getting stains in my teeth and i need to work against that i need to get some teeth whitening so well i'll give you some i just got to get some teeth whitening. Well, I'll give you some. I just got 10 tubes of teeth whitening toothpaste from the Costco. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. You did do that.

Yeah, no, but I'm, like, ready. I am ready to podcast our little behinds off today. Let's do it. So you guys can go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com for all of our links. Go to Facebook.com slash WatchWhat watch what crap ends to talk crap with other listeners throughout the week during the live show threads. And of course, come over to patrion.com slash watch what crap ends.

That is where you basically subscribe to our premium feed where you will get, we just had a bunch of ringers come out that are really good. I've got them all on my phone right now and I'm laughing. My favorite has been doing Catherineatherine's arm from southern charm that's my new text tone and it sounds like a tone you know there's like a little tone to it so when it repeats over and over it's really funny and we do bonus episodes every week we just did a food network star bonus which was really fun and we also talked about a lot of, you know, Costco, basically.

Yeah, Costco and Food Network Star, which is better. You know, yeah, probably the potato salad from Costco with the bacon bits beats everything made this year on the Food Network Star. I think so. I think so. So go over there and find that. It's patreon.com slash watch what crap happens. So go over there and find that. It's patreon.com slash watch what crap happens. And thanks to everyone who supports us there. Because if we make it up to the next level, if anyone isn't supporting and needs incentive, go over there.

Because if we hit the next level, we'll be doing three episodes a week. Yeah. Three episodes. Which should be crazy. Like we could do a whole hour just talking about Tamara's missing belly button. She got her belly button taken off. Did she really? Like, Patricia Heaton?

It's gone. She has no belly button. That's so weird. I don't know why people do that. That's, like, a very strange thing. It's like Kyle XY. It's weird. She's becoming, basically, an old squirrel dog.

Like, an American squirrel dog. American squirrel dog like an american squirrel dog american squirrel dog uh so everybody what do you want to talk about today being well um we are in a unique situation in that bravo has not aired anything new since we last recorded a podcast previously on thursday so we have decided that today what we're going to do is we'll do the mailbag as usual. Maybe some clear the phlegm, who knows? But we decided that we are going to do a countdown episode. We're going to make up our own content.

And if we were smart, we would have recorded one of these episodes months ago and we could have had the day off, but instead we are doing it today and that's fine so um uh we're going to do we're going ron and i are going to compare lists of our top 10 favorite non-real housewives bravo stars so these are going to be people who are cast members official cast members of other bravo stars current or past but that are not real housewives yes um and right now you say clear the phlegm and so i googled clear the i put clear the phlegm in my address bar because i'm just being dumb and of course it's like mucus snot phlegm color function coughing and more from web md it's the wrong thing we won't be talking about that yeah we'll talk about uh but we'll um but why don't we start things off uh first with

a good tried and true visit to the crappin's mailbag let's do it Let's see what came in the mail for us over the holiday weekend. It was not a board game for me. I'm sad to report. But I did play this really fun board game based on the Alien movies And it was to die for So anyway Michael Horn asks Whenever Big Brother season rolls around

I'm always reminded of Ben's hilarious montage Of Renny and Jerry from Big Brother 10 Going honk honk Beep beep St. Mary's St. Joseph it's locked I don't know if anyone remembers that montage but it exists I could probably find it on YouTube

if I give myself 30 seconds if you were to do a similar montage for any of the housewives who would it be and what would it be of them saying oh lord well my classic favorite my favorite classic i guess is um tamra and vicky yelling

really bitch really bitch really bitch really bitch really bitch really bitch really bitch i mean that shit was hilarious that first season where they were you know the first season where they really went against each other and then just let each other have it because i was here in texas during that reunion and my mother it's my favorite thing to like turn these shows on and make my mom watch them while she makes my can my dad play canasta it's like it's like a circle of making each other do things. And listening to her just say things like, white trash slut, like behind me. And she gets drunker and drunker off her Banditos boxed wine from the Walmart.

Die. I die laughing every time. I think I would probably go to Kandi Burris, who really is a font of strange noises. And I would just put them on repeat like this one if I say something about you then it's like oh she just you know what I mean you know what I mean

you know what I mean you could also do some quad me and Michelle the daffodil has it honey there's pups in Paris Riley That one's Janet from Melbourne. Here's another Rand one. I worked out the other day with Nini and Cynthia. You did? I did. Wait, wait, wait. Rollback.

I know, girl. Because I remember. That was just like a whole bunch of non sequiturs of noises that passes a conversation between. Really, really, really, really, really. I have something here that says they're a little spongy. I'm not even sure what this is. They're a little spongy. Of course it's Shannon. They're a little spongy.

They're a little spongy. I mean, really, there's so many places we can take our montage. Dorinda, too.inda also would make some great uh strange sound effects you know well she does oh she's doing better than she knows whenever i come here i can't stop talking in our uh real housewives voices and since we are in real housewives of new york season it's just hilarious hearing my nieces copy things

um my youngest niece cadence is walking around going i made it nice in Real Housewives of New York season, it's just hilarious hearing my nieces copy things. My youngest niece, Cadence, is walking around going, I made it nice. I made it nice. Be mean to my mommy, but I made it nice. I'm like, you're kind of mixing them up, but I still love it. Still works.

Okay. We can't overlook. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. We can't overlook Magali and her sound effects Magali's Magali Yes yes yes yes yes No no no no no no no

I say no, you say yes, I say no no Lianne Wu Lianne Wu My nieces also do I'm like a snake I'm like a snake Gonna eat you up in a snack Shed skin and get the skins rough so i get in my spa get the spa get snake skin and get the spa treatment by the club on my snake face

bravo ruining children i know and don't forget dobby by the way yeah one of them does that and then the other one goes, Dolby! The other one goes, Turn up the bass, Dolby! I love children. They're just little moldable brains. I know. And then I feel like there should be some room for this old chestnut. All right, which one was real? You decide.

What was that? Do it again. That was Phaedra. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh lord. Oh lord. Praise Dolby. Dolby. Dolby's gonna sing Hallelujah.

Dolby. Turn up the bass, Dolby. Don't mess with my mother Dobby like got a voice for one episode don't fuck with my mother it's like whoa Dobby whoa um here is this is from Lola Del Rio oh Lola

she says no question just love you guys oh lola you're so sweet lola i love you little kitty cat with a bow around your neck yeah that's her picture on the old internet so whenever she joins a google hangout or something i'm like whoa who are you where's the kitty with the bow yeah and bow around the neck and a little thing right behind the ear, too. It's a pretty kitty. Mick Resendez, or if Mick were French, it would be Mick Resendez. Resendez. Resendez.

Mick Resendez. Resendez. He says, OMG, breaking news. Reza is getting a spinoff. Apparently, it's called Life and Style, when it really should be called Awful and Chevron. I cannot. The show is described as cameras will follow his career in real estate and his road to marriage with fiancée Adam Neely. What do you guys have to say about this?

I cannot. Love you. His road to marriage? Adam didn't even know they were getting married. Like, what is it going to be? We have to watch him dump Adam and go to Thailand without him and then, like, surprise him and give him a dead person's ring that he haggled for i mean i've seen that enough i don't need that yeah i feel like this spinoff isn't gonna happen because we did see them get quote-unquote married unless they're

gonna do like a big wedding but as far as we know the road to marriage was like the 10 into palm springs pretty much it was like a public bus yeah it was like it was like one of those fire roads that's not you're like is this a road is this a driveway is this something that vehicles can even Yeah, it was like one of those fire roads. You're like, is this a road? Is this a driveway? Is this something that vehicles can even go on? And then there's a fire and suddenly it becomes the most important thing in life. Although we should have.

It's one of those things at the bank that you put the big plastic thing in. It just sucks it up. It's like that deposit thing. It's like a sucking, like just one big suck, air suck. But we should have known that reza was gonna get a style show because this year i wore brooches yeah yeah reza is a style maven it makes me very scared it's an octopus brooch get it no so now wait i hate to i hate to um to rain on everyone's parade, but this news is actually from December 2014. So unfortunately, I think it's over. You got some Google notifications late.

Yeah, I think the spinoff did not happen. Obviously, it didn't happen because they already got married. So thank God. The Bravo Gods for once thought, you know what? we're not going to submit these people to torture so they realize no one wants a style show about sweaty discount suits bought from someone's apartment downtown in downtown little persia or whatever what i really hope is that someone said we don't need another wedding wedding spinoff on bravo um so that what I really hope. But we know there's going to be still like five more to come. Yeah.

Maybe you just got that news late in France. Mais commentez. Ressentez. But everything worked out for us. Thank God. This turned into some really good news because I felt like that was going to become a tour group where you're going to be like, you will watch it. And I'll be like, oh, I can't.

I'll kill myself. Like, if ever I commit suicide, it's going to be during a reza spinoff no i wonder how tour group is doing i wonder where they are and who's fighting with whom well it's over now it ended last week and somebody tweeted us and said it's i think it was suzanne uh said it's actually really good and everyone yells and screams and it's worth it so i I was going to text you, but I just read it this morning. So, you know, too late. Too late. I'll watch it. I downloaded it.

So I think I'm going to watch it just to see how it ends. I'll watch it just to see more Sandhurst. I'll watch it to see that Michelle model girl just get crazily offended about nothing again. I know. Because that's always fun. These air parts are destroying the world. I refuse to get on an airplane anymore. How dare you?

That horse disrespected women. It disrespected my minority, pretty women with possum faces. How dare you? I mean, you know she's awful if she made the little friendly tour guide guy call her the C word. You know that she's awful if she made the little friendly tour guide guy call her the c word you know it's like even he did it it's like getting the sweetest person in the world to use the c world he's like what what's the problem i said it like british people that's actually a huge praise it's just crazy because in britain you, people would just come right out and call you a cut fitness.

I don't see what the problem is. This isn't Britain. We fought a war to get away from Britain, okay? It offends me on behalf of Paul Revere that you would say that. Girl, I'm going to Brexit this situation. How could you even say that about Brexit? Don't you know that that's like a diet pill are you saying something about my weight like i can't you need a sandwich like that straight guy it's like

hey you want a sandwich how dare you sir how dare you how dare you say i need a sandwich you know what sandwich that's based on the Earl of Sandwich, which is in London, and London just voted itself out of the world. So that's real offensive, sir. Real offensive. That show is on during a time that another show is on named Someone That I Used to Know, who used to be my best friend, but

she's a real slut, and she ruined my life. His name rhymes with Handymanville. It's like, okay, you're not more famous because you won't say Randy Glanville's name on TV, okay? Bottom of the barrel scraper. Yeah, seriously. What an awful human being. Can't wait for the finale.

Oh, by the way, speaking of awful human beings that need a finale, the Real Housewives of New Jersey are back July 10th. Did you know that? Oh, my God, that's this weekend. Yes, sir. So everybody get ready just when we thought we have a little space in the schedule we're gonna have we have jersey and oc and uh melbourne shot well and shahs for for our tuesday show and then mel bit oh well

but melbourne's on thursdays right or or is it Thursdays it's on the 22nd I think no July let's see July 22nd is a Friday oh wow we're gonna have to shuffle some things around maybe OC will get temporarily moved to Thursdays while we do Melbourne, Jersey and

Shaw's on Tuesdays I don't know we'll figure it out we'll figure it out people a lot of fun times and we need at least one thing to really hate and i think that jersey is going to be that thing yeah jersey jersey is it this is the theresa's a nice person season lol jesus um so um theresa marovitch do you want by the way do you want me to do more mailbag or should we sure let's knock one more out and then move on. Okay. Teresa Maravich.

Oh, wait, no. Wait, I'm sorry. Teresa, you get put onto Thursday because we have to do Kate A's. Kate A says, Hey, guys. First request. It is my dear sister Melissa's birthday today. That's why we have to do it today. And since she is the one who recommended your hallowed podcast

to me, I would love it if you could ask Ramona, Caroline Fleming and DJ James Kennedy to wish her a very happy birthday okay and now a question what branding advice do you think Bethany would offer Yolanda as she prepares to release her book about De Limes thanks so much you're both trash

wait who's giving her advice it's going to be Bethany giving Yolanda. Okay. Well, first of all, happy birthday, okay? Like, this is crazy. I thought this beach was going to be like a regular beach, but it's like Miami. Okay? It's crazy.

It's nuts. Whoa, this is crazy that you're having a birthday because I have a birthday too sometimes. Like, once a year I get a birthday. Whoa, this is crazy that you're having a birthday. Because I have a birthday too sometimes. Like, once a year I get a birthday. And whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of when I was a little girl, okay? I wanted to celebrate my birthday. And I said, Dad, let's go get some cake. And Geraldine Parsons-Smith said, no.

Little girls don't get cake. They get peas and potatoes. And to this day, I still can't eat my vegetables, okay? All right, then. Yolanda, all right, here's the thing like i hear you coming out with a book like seriously like you don't people like have to pick that up and read it right because like the last book you were famous for was that girl that nazi sympathizer book you had on your coffee table and i was like what like seriously like she's sympathizing with

nazis like seriously what like that's nuts like you can put a flower on a nazi book but you can't make it not kill a jew you know what i mean like like literally i don't even understand like your name like like yolanda are you like saying hi to land like yolanda like well i don't get it like what are you like land like you're a pirate are you on a ship are you saying are you like you see like a you see a whale in distance like land how like i like i don't get it like i honestly like it doesn't make sense to me like everything doesn't make sense like like are you a model like oh hadid like are you a terrorist are you like isis like i don't get it like i honestly't say i can't like literally it's fine it's fine do what you want i just my balls are up my balls are up like seriously your book is called believe

me i'm like what like why wouldn't i believe her like why is this in all caps like like you're not even saying believe me you're saying believe me and i'm like what like why wouldn't i believe her like what do you like so then i'm like is she lying and then like i start reading this book and i'm like she sympathizes with nazis is she lying about that is she lying about limes i don't know i'm bleeding like right now i'm bleeding i'm literally like bleeding all over the floor so like i reach a title and it's like believe me and i'm like i'm bleeding and then i'm like that bitch is copying me so like here's here's here's what it is like i don't want anything to do with you i don't ever want to see you i hope you die like there's no hard feelings i just hope that you fall on a meat grinder and they groan your bony stupid ass up.

And then somewhere along the line to the meatpacking plant, you, like, learn some English and get your hands off the Capski. Okay? Like, you know, I don't get, like, believe me. Like, are you like Justin Bieber? Are you like a believer? Like, I don't get it. Like, you're a singer? Like, you know, like, these are things I don't understand.

Like, you know, like, Justin Bieber is, like, his own thing. Like, what are you? You know, you're like a cheater Justin Bieber. Like, I don't get any of it. Like, maybe are you a genie? Are you, like, am I supposed to believe you because you'rein bieber is like his own thing like what do you what do you you know you're like a cheater justin bieber like like i don't get any of it like are you are you maybe are you genie are you like am i supposed to believe you're a genie or something like that like well are you like aladdin are you like like where's the magic carpet like i don't i don't see your like your carpet like literally like does not fly like i don't get this i don't get how you're a genie right now like i don't get your last name's hadid okay like you're from middle east okay but like

you your carpets are like on the floor like like literally i can't like it's too much like i'm bleeding on your carpet stupid yowanda would name a book believe me you know i believe me i had a moment this morning you remember when i had my moment where i discovered oh yolanda never says thank you to any compliments i want to add i had another revelation of why yolanda is actually an awful person uh this one is a little shakier and there's probably a lot of stuff that I don't know about. So I'm speaking from an uninformed place.

I get it. But today when I was driving to the Grove, there was a big billboard up for this season two of this show Barely Famous, which is based off of or created by or stars, whatever, David Foster's two daughters, two grown daughters who are like 26, whatever, you know, and we talked

about them last week, I believe, about their thoughts about Yolanda, etc. And I thought about it. And I was like, you know, Yolanda Foster, you look on her Instagram, and she will have a picture of Zayn Malik or a picture of The Weeknd and be like, congratulations on your Billboard Music Awards, my love. You know, like congratulations on going to a red carpet event, my love. Like she's kind of bragging that like my daughters are dating these guys. And she calls them my love when they're dating for like six months, which is we've mentioned this before. It's very strange.

we've mentioned this before it's it's it's very strange it's it's like a little too much like it's your like you're a little too involved in your kids lives and being vicarious etc yeah anytime one of her three children do anything she puts it on instagram they take a shit she's like my love has bothered movements well that actually is a huge thing for her children i mean we've seen her only give them one almond for dinner you know like a shit is a big deal it's like call the neighbor ben varine probably celebrates that shit and they ran his ass over his brother like this shit but i think my what i realized is yolanda i mean i have not really been carefully following her instagram except for the past year but i went on to her feed she doesn't post anything anything at all about david's children not a single thing now she may have removed some content i didn't do an exhaustive search i didn't go back like years and years but for instance when their

show premiered in um which the show premiered in march of 2015 that was months before the divorce she didn't post anything like congratulations to my daughters for they have a show on vh1s and such yeah she didn't say anything when they got picked up in april for like nothing and that's a big deal well that is a big deal yeah but she's competing well that's what i'm saying i was like no me it's a big deal that they yeah they get that and that's what i'm saying that to me says something about what she is as a stepmother and a phony i think totally because she was that's her whole thing with beverly hills as she said in the beginning and david said it too that when she decided to do beverly hills she was only doing it because she wanted a spin-off and so she tried to

make her kids famous because she wants to do like a Kardashians type thing and so she married into this family like uh what's his buns Muhammad obviously owns some part of Bravo like there's something weird with him that he's on every Bravo show and then David Foster is also a reality dynasty like his hot children are all reality stars. And so she was marrying into it for that. So she like sacked David through Muhammad to get like a different, like her own reality show. But Yolanda's so horrible, I just can't imagine it happening.

And her children have no personality. I mean, God bless them. Their personality are in their bones. Their bony bodies and their vacant stares and their boobs. And they're doing great with that. Their personality is they're vacant stairs and their boobs and they're doing great with that their personality is really shining and all those new shots on vogue but that's the only way nobody needs to hear anybody from your family talk ever yeah and and you know i i where i'm saying that i know i'm uninformed because i don't know the nature of yolanda's

relationship with the with her stepchildren um i don't know i don't know if those women were total brats to yolanda even as grown women i don't know i don't know what the situation is i don't know if they ever had a good relationship or not but at the very least here's this woman i love david i love this i love this with family and family is important this and that and she does not mention them like i understand if those girls didn't want to be part of the Beverly Hills franchise, but I just think it's crazy that here she is. She puts someone who's been dating her daughter for six months or like two months. She does it. My loves, my loves, my loves.

And yet didn't even do anything, not even in a fake bullshit way to her stepdaughters. I thought that was very telling. Well, I think also that article last week. Did we read that on the show? Did we talk about it on the show did we talk about it on the show i forget what they said i think they said they they didn't like her right they said that they liked their stepsisters well they just they didn't say they didn't like her they just said um well we would know because of course they're asked about that they're like is

the bitch faking it and they were like well we you know we don't know that she's faking it. We would never, ever say that about somebody who is our stepmom. But, you know, I mean, it was hard for my dad being with somebody who is, most people who have an illness like cancer or some kind of deadly illness don't want the attention. But then you have this person who is always trying to get on TV and, like, really exploit it. And they want people to see it. And that's very difficult for a caretaker.

And then all of the comments were these, you know, limeys. How dare you, you little brats! No wonder she left your father, your unfeeling, uncaring father. And I was like, yeah, but good calls. So that was a big deal, because they were basically like, yeah, obviously she's a stupid liar face. So I guess there was no love lost. But that's like, if you know someone like Lisa Vanderpump, let's say, who's got 30 dogs and then one of them has a birthday party.

Do you really have to go to the birthday party? You've already been to 30 birthday parties for his other bitches. And that's probably how the kids feel about David's new wives. It's like, Dad. That's true, too. Jesus Christ. How many people are going to pretend to be our mothers for a couple of years before they leave you? Yeah, but it's not so much on the kids part that I – it's more just like Anya Alonda if she's creating this image of family and love and special times or whatever.

And I get it. Most of her Instagram is just of her kids. It's barely even David. But still, I just – something is not adding up for me, and I think it's revealing something very telling about that you know she clearly it's well I mean obviously you know her kids are her kids that's like she didn't give birth to the other two kids but she you know there's like it's I I'm not even trying like to be like a nice good mom yeah she's it's more like an awful fucking human being and if anybody doubts it just go watch a reunion again where she lies then lies again think it's caught in lies but doesn't care and then completely deflects and tries to bring everybody else down and suggest that someone's husband is cheating or someone's this is this and just tries to bring all these people down

based on some illness she never even had yeah i just um i think it's shady i just think that the shout outs to um like the weekend and zane malik as if like she were dating them herself and then nothing for stepdaughters when she was married david is just something is is bizarre and um yeah she's revealing about that relationship i believe i do love gg though because and i have to say say that i love gg just because she's dating that kid who's also like the least famous sibling it's almost like she's surrounding herself by someone like the pathetic sibling that no one gives a shit about she's dating zane yeah just wait well she was dating the brother the jonas brother oh she was dating a jonas brother yeah and i just thought that was so nice. Oh, now she's dating Zayn, who dropped out of One Direction?

Yeah. See, she just needs someone who's been kicked out or gotten an evil email from Yolanda about doing too much Xanax or whatever. Remember that email from Yolanda? Who are you? I found TV dinner trays and Xanax and drugs and there were dirty, bloody underwear in your cars, Bellas.

Didn't you get an email from Yolanda once? No, no. Oh, hell no. No, Stupid Housewives did a couple of times. A lady around that and they were pretty hilarious. So we, by the way, we did not live up to the rest of our deal, which is that we have to also say happy birthday to melissa in caroline fleming and dj james kennedy voice so melissa how lucky are you to have me wish you a happy birthday day happy birthday babe gonna bang you on the car gonna bang you on the car bang you on the car i made a song called bang you on the car that's right slut

yay happy birthday thanks everyone who uh who don't who has been writing into the crappin's mail bag it really helps us a lot a lot a lot and um thanks a lot for bringing up yolanda now i'm like furious well we had nothing really to get fired up about so i don't need anything yolanda just gets me pissed i know and i really feel like when i have when i have like a realization about yolanda i always feel like it it's like for me it's earth shattering i whenever i have those moments like when i realize she never says thank you, I was like, this is a small thing that says everything. And now I'm furious.

My anger with her is not reasonable. But it does feel good. So thank you for being an awful human being. I'm just sad that she's gone because now that I've created this theory that she never says thank you to anything, there's no new episodes with her where she can prove my theory, and I'm so mad. Well, I like that you pointed out because then we had to amend it later because then the very next episode she says thank you a lot, but it was only to men. Remember? No, it's not just that. What was it?

It's to if it's her boss and slash she is highly aware that she is on camera like for instance in a reunion environment but when things are it's like a natural conversation or whatever with the other women um no she does not say thank you and someone someone wrote to us and said that it's very dutch to not say thank you and whatever but i don't know i don't believe it i don't believe especially since yolanda already went on that thing a few seasons ago saying how like being in america you have to speak english to get ahead etc and adapt to american culture yada yada yada so it doesn't fly with me so the guy is redoing her house and working for a dollar an hour probably and she's like you need to learn english believe me they're? She's like, no, what are you blowing?

Okay, well, Ben, a lot of people think that Yolanda is a web designer. Yeah, they do. This is a surprising fact. A lot of times they think she's a web designer. Yolanda, you are such a good web designer. And she says, me? A web designer? Heartless. But I created fantastic

looking site of the web using the weebly i still can't believe how easy we make it yeah weebly was created for people with the courage to start their own i don't know my accent's going in strange places start their own businesses and the dream to be their own boss um again you don't need to be a web designer or know how to code to create a beautiful website, blog, online store, novel, whatever. Sweet! Like Gigi.

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Thank you, Weebly. Yes, Weebly. You're so wonderful. Oh, Weebles. Weebles. Little Weebly. You're so wonderful. Oh, Weebles. Weebles. Little Weebles. Okay, so now we are going to have me teach you about me? Oh, our weekly-ish jaunt onto the Instagram page of the insanely obnoxious Caroline Fleming official of the Ladies of the Londons.

Ladies of the Londons. Caroline Fleming has a really, really wonderful Instagram feed where she just posts a lot of insufferable things with tons of hashtags, and we love it. We love it. My Caroline Fleming page is frozen.

Frage. My frage of the page is frozen. She's got some food things going on. She do. Worrying about her. Let's see. Why don't I pick. Okay.

There's a picture actually of a bunch of flowers. Just nothing but flowers. And Caroline Fleming waxes philosophical. She says, each petal is quite extraordinary dot dot soft and thick and utterly beautiful dot dot and the scent is magical enjoy your sunday xx she didn't even hashtag sunday or anything she didn't have anything she just was she was like really feeling deep like you know every petal is extraordinary it's soft and thick and utterly beautiful and the magical scent wow caroline i'm thinking think about flowers in a whole different

way now well i love to see her random hashtags and i also love to see who is paying for her rent this month because she will at any old product she'll be like oh at dish towel i'm like whoa someone got the rent paid for dish towels this month but this one is another one without ats there are a bunch of hashtags though so here we go this is a picture of strawberries blueberries and i don't know olives what are those kiwis no too little what are they little green things um on i think rice i'm surprised that she didn't meant she doesn't mentioned it yet she will yeah something oh no i think they're just the cut blueberries right so they're on rice for whatever reason and she says um hashtag not

oh hashtag no filter okay well we know this is going to get crazy. Strawberries and blueberries, no filter. Ooh, she's going to tell off. The strawberry, the blueberry, inspired by hashtag clean cakes, dash. And because it's so good and clean, my children and I decided to have this hashtag blueberry, hashtag strawberry, and hashtag Hashtag mousse cake for breakfast. The base is made of dates, coconut, hemp seeds, honey, and lemon juice. The mousse is made of blended blueberries, strawberries, coconut yogurt, cashew nuts, coconut oil, and honey. Dash. Really very delicious.

Caps X. Space. Caps X. How is that no filter? Delicious Caps X space Caps X. What? How is that no filter? Well, because the filter pertains to the Instagram filter. Oh, so no Instagram filter? Whenever you see no filter, it means someone did not use an Instagram filter.

That doesn't mean that they're saying something, giving you some real talk. Oh, I thought it was like Brandy Glanville's no filter podcast. It's like, that stupid bitch. Like, I'm going to say the C word 20 times. it's just like no filter well you can tell it looks like some cupcake tin i've never seen strawberries look so washed out how dare you um though here's here's one where she's standing on her stoop as usual holding a little clutch and she just says good night to you all x x x x x at balmain hashtag dress at giovanni to rossi hashtag shoes and she's just looking off as if oh i'm not getting a photo taken i'm just standing here as usual i have a million photos of me standing in my stoop

just not looking at the camera and last week uh her address was actually she was standing in front of her address and now she's very careful to move because maybe you know some crazy photographer i'm so sorry they're following me around everywhere like some kid with an iphone or something found her so now she's under something else but the next one she's in the exact same style of dress and shoes just in different color like the shoes are a different color. And I think she realized it was the end of the month and she hadn't added somebody and she was about to get foreclosed on. So she was like, okay, stoop time. It's like, put on both of those colors of the shoes

that he gave me, okay? Stoop time. Stoop time. Hashtag stoop time. Hashtag no filter. Here we go again. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Living the 40s.

Enjoy your evening, everyone. I'm off for another hashtag feast. Hashtag Greek food. At Bella Gravia Cosmetic, that clinic. It's like, okay, you got the shoes and the clinic in one thing. That's how to make some money, girl. Meanwhile, some poor chef is already calling all the nearby places to see if they have any more Comte cheese.

She's like, Caroline Fleming's coming in. Get the dolly. And foot massagers. She's had to wear two uncomfortable shoes that look exactly the same two days in a row. Get that Dutch teenager in here. Wait, what is she, Danish? Get that Danish person in here to massage her feet.

Can I tell you the most funny story? When I came here to this restaurant once, I asked if they had any comte cheese, and they said no. And I said, oh, that's too bad. And then the next thing I knew, they went traveling all around London to bring me comte cheese and foot massages. Isn't that the most hilarious story? They did it all by themselves.

I didn't have to say a single thing, not once. I didn't even have to yell at them three times in a row. No, not at all. A little dodo bird. All right, clear her. Clear the flame. you have to yell at them three times in a row no not at all a little dodo bird all right clear her get rid of her all right so let's move on to our shows so how do you want to do this you want to do like pick five each no no uh well i've come up with 10 and then you can come up with 10 and then i can be like here's my number 10 and then you can say your number 10. And if my number 10 is like later on on your list, you can say, well, mine's later on or something like that.

OK. And then but I do because just choosing favorites and whittling it down to a top 10 list was so hard for me. I have actually created a pool of honorable mentions. Should I go through my pool of honorable mentions? Or do you have honorable mentions? Or what are your feelings? Well, why don't we go through the main since we have 10 each? Because that'll be a long time.

And then if we're desperate for stuff, we'll go through. And if not, we'll post our honorable mentions in the article. So people can agree or disagree or whatevs so at number 10 for me i wish i had a little drum roll at number 10 uh my number 10 favorite non-real house wife um bravo star gail simmons from top chef oh wow i'm surprised she's so far down on your list like well i know she really i mean in some you know this this list could change if i admit it tomorrow she could have been number one what can i say it's just it's just that there are some names some of which will probably probably be

surprising but there are some names that just have to go higher than gail i'm sorry but i love gail simmons she's wonderful she i i think she has the best comments she she gives me warmth she gives me happiness i love seeing her i love hearing her talk i want her to be on this on tv all the time i want just desserts to come back solely to give us more gail oh man i miss justice now that was a show i mean those bakers were fucking nuts every one of them i think like 10 of them have gone to jail for something since then. And it's all crazy shit. It's like child porn, burning down an orphanage, et cetera.

I love Gale. That's not real, by the way, people who are Googling that. But that's what those people would go to jail for from that show. And then I burned down an orphanage. Yeah, well, someone did go to jail for like kiddie porn or something of that. Yeah, the winner, Morgan. The hot winner. Shame.

As Game of Thrones would say, shame, shame, shame. Okay, so I love Gail Simmons as well. I love Gail Simmons. I love her commitment to terrible patterns and awful clothes, even though she's kind of the classiest one there. And I also love her ability to not punch Padma in the fucking face, because Padma's very mean to Gale. And I respect her, you know, avoiding a cat fight all these years.

And speaking of top chef, I will put Padma at number 10. Yes, good. Because, man, I love me some Padma. I love Padma. I mean, Padma's ability, ability seriously in all these years to be as equally mediocre but still fascinating in her in her delivery like it's terrible and she's tried out all these different ways of being terrible like the sad padma where she tries to pretend she's crying and she's like i am sad to say you will be packing your knives and getting the fuck out or whatever.

And it's like, you ain't crying. Shut up, Robot Padma. Robot Padma. I don't think Padma's mediocre. I love Padma. She actually sort of, she would have gotten an honorable mention for me. And almost solely because she's just so beautiful. She's almost like too beautiful to be denied.

But I love Padma. I love the way she slinks into a scene and the look she gives Gail and the way she flirts with guys. I love it. And I love that she can make me laugh every single time at the opening when she's like,

the winner of Top Chef will receive five knives from KitchenAid, a mixer from the blah, five weeks in the Aspen Festival. A spot on the outfly wall. It's so like... It's like so

boring. And you know they made her do it 20 times because she sounds dead like a zombie. And they're like, come on Padma, at least give us one good one. At the end she's like, welcome to Top Chef! Like, whoa, whoa, good inflection. Nice inflection at the end she's like welcome to top chef like whoa whoa good inflection nice yeah on the end there it's getting worried about you yeah gail and padma and you know and and tom by the way tom's great too but gail and padma are the real stars yeah i love an arrogant short man

with issues i love that i love an angry short successful man i like when he gets hung up on stupid things. He's like, you're going to make coq au vin. You got to use an old head. Why are you not using an old head? Using a chicken, he's got to be an old head. That's as simple as that. I mean, you know, it's as simple as that.

You can't make Brussels sprouts if you're just going to use like, you can't put an inch of water in the pan. It's got to be at least two inches. Everyone knows that. You know, everyone knows that sometimes you give them a challenge and you say, here's a chicken. And sometimes they're going to make a chicken. And sometimes they're going to make an outstanding chicken. This is a, you say, here's a chicken, and sometimes they're going to make a chicken, and sometimes they're going to make an outstanding chicken. This is a, you know, it's a chicken. It's a chicken. That's what they did. It's a chicken.

All right. Thanks for coming to work today, Tom. He earns bonus points also for putting on his little bifocals when he cooks. Yes, and he also earns bonus points because I think it was season two when there was that guy who made the Cheeto dick, like the poopy Cheeto, and he made Dana What's-Her-Buns eat it. And he did this interview after.

He's like, these people are fucking crazy. Like, Padma stoned the whole time. Tom gets wasted with her outside. And that guy doesn't even bother to take a bath or put on shoes. Like, he walks around in flip-flops. He barely awake enough long enough to shoot the show and i've just always loved that about tom because knowing that about him makes so much sense he's like well all right what do you want me to do all right yeah put on my shoes um so my number nine is someone who she's really awful, really awful. But she has a special place in my heart.

She's one of my favorites because, you know, here we are a few years after her show has been canceled and we are still quoting her nonstop. It's Ashley from Princesses Long Island. Oh, Matt. her non-stop it's ashley from princesses long island oh matt who asked for someone to send a jet from western long island to eastern long island to save her from a brutal confrontation with joey and others i mean after she was she was terrified and asked her dad to come get her because she was going through a neighborhood with couches on the porch. Yeah. I see a couch on a porch.

Help. Help. Who refused to leave a pedicure place because they gave her little sandals to walk out in and she couldn't wear her heels. So her dad actually had to carry her through the parking lot, lest she suffer the indignity of wearing flats. indignity of wearing flats did odd dances for his dad or her dad who would say things like yeah baby shake it baby yeah shake it baby and she's like no ma'am who couldn't get a date and got set up on dates and then i was getting i mean that girl i think every episode with that girl was something amazing and when she said uh you're funny looking. And that girl said, you are. And she was like,

how dare she call me funny looking? I have a disease. I'm the hottest, funny looking girl you've ever seen. And how about don't, don't ever forget her, her childhood home, which she still lived in,

which was all silver and gray and had a big circle window. And then everybody was giving her so much shit for being an asshole that and faking some illness or something that after that she was like oh I'm in the hospital like what does she end up having she had like an anxiety attack at this vineyard in Eastern Long Island and she had to go to the hospital because she it was too much for her to deal with so so good because there's this whole thing about these texts she enjoyed were in a spat because it was too much for her to deal with. So, so good. Because there's this whole thing about these texts.

She and Joy were in a spat, and then she lied about some texts that she sent Erica, and they called her out like, you sent the text to Erica, and after all, and she started crying, and Chanel was like, oh my God, you guys, I think Ashley's really sick. Okay, my number nine comes from a television show we only covered one time. We only covered one episode of this show, but it was so amazingly beautiful.

And I think it was the first time we had a lead transsexual character on a Bravo show, I think. I know who it is. And it was, yes, girls! Yes. 40 is always fabulous, girls! From my fab 40th. Yes. 40 years old is fabulous, girls. From my fab 40th. Yes. Technically, we covered two episodes of that show.

Oh, we did? Yeah, remember? Because we also covered the episode where a woman had a 40th birthday at a racetrack. Oh, yeah. And she was just begging for a ring. I didn't get it. Yes. But yes, the fierce party planner.

She was fabulous. Fierce, ladies. She was fabulous. Fierce, ladies. Fierce. Here's what I'm thinking. The Doobie Brothers arrive on white horses. We have your party at the Queen of England's home. And then Wayne Newton rains down kisses upon the audience. And then she has a donkey donkey, a local opera singer, and like a sheet cake from Ralph's.

We want train. Yeah, that woman was amazing. She actually won the crappy this year for whatever category she was in. She was a surprise win. She beat out some like serious names. And yeah, she, we don't even know her name, but she made an indelible impression on us. man, she was just amazing.

All right. At number eight, number eight is someone who she, we forget about her. And sometimes even thinking back on her, it's like, oh yeah, she was funny.

And it's, she almost doesn't seem like top 10 worthy, but when you really think about it, she carried a show. And she was hilarious and was always hilarious and really deserves to be on TV more, if only to see her reclining on her divan. And that is Mika from Blood, Sweat & Heals. Oh, my gosh. Yes.

That's the new go, right? No, no, no. that's the new go right no no no Mika was the light skin redhead who they accused of being they accused her of being an alcoholic and she called Genevieve Wesley Snipes yes and she has

a baby named Obama not the baby the little gerbil thing was it a hairless guinea pig or some shit it was a rodent of some sort so I get it so reclining on her she did all of her interviews reclining on her like terrible velvet fainting couch from spencer gifts or whatever and she'd be like hello can you believe that

she's like totally drunk she was crazy she would like she was like some forgotten molly shannon character that was never quite workshopped enough to be on snl you know she'd be doing splits she'd get drunk she'd sing song she would sometimes she'd do her interviews with like a little microphone holding it up and singing a song i mean she was amazing yeah she was pretty good so i is that show coming back they might have canceled it because daisy passed away i hope they didn't you know i i don't know they should they should bring it back because it was really good i mean that girl who had a blog but she was terrible was that girl are you talking about genevieve or the girl who's bringing up like michael brown and police brutality because

she didn't want to pay a cab driver at the at the that's jenna that's jenna v oh my god remember she didn't want to pay the cab driver because she thought he was rude to her so she got out at her nail place and he called the police and she's like this is police brutality they're like uh no no it's not uh yeah i know and i mean the way the second season ended was a great cliffhanger with melissa ford breaking a bottlevieve's head so I'm ready I'm ready Bravo yeah bring it back babies we're ready for mole okay my number eight is Isaac Mizrahi who I used to call Isaac on the fashion show because the fashion show this this is where Bravo lost project runway to lifetime. And they were like, screw that we are making another project,

you know, runway. And we don't even care. We're just going to have Isaac Mizrahi. And Isaac was really not good at this because I don't think he paid enough attention or he just ran out of gross things to say. Cause everything he says, he's like,

well, that looks like a piece of poop on the grass you know like everything he said was so bad like there he's no tim gun you know right he'd just be like well well that looked like a dog just you know like like shit itself am i right people i was like oh good it was so embarrassing to watch him um that guy has like become famous but and he's like still riding off that original fame that he had from just being crazy and dressing like a muppet and like you know having that entire muppet themed show in a documentary and that made him famous enough to be on reality tv forever but now he's like hawking shit on qvc you know yeah i forget the name of his documentary it's from the 90s but that was what put him on the map. But then he's just sort of been this reality star.

Yes. I thought he was a figure since then. But I just love that he just kind of, he was never really sure he knew what he was doing. You know, he was one of those. He's like, do I know? Do I not know? Am I a fraud? Am I not a fraud?

Who knows, darling? But I've got a scarf with polka dots on it, and I'm not just going to keep it home, darling. This is darling a lot. I just like him. There's some confused blinkiness. You know he always stoned. He just gains weight more and more every year. I just love him.

He's just a very comforting, because of his discomfort, kind of a queen. I just like that about him. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a good choice. I've never been like a huge isaac mizrahi fan but he's you know there is i i know what you're saying he's there is something likable and he does when he's on screen he's he's entertaining yeah like him open

yeah um by the way it just occurred to me that i guess project runway could theoretically have qualified for this but i never i don't think of it as a bravo show anymore so no um so my number seven is uh is a name that i think is again from a one-hit wonder show um a name that many people will have probably forgotten about um and to be fair i don't even remember her funniest quotes, but she was such a find for reality TV. And it's a shame that we did not get more of her. She was so hilarious and so awful and so self-involved and so ridiculous. I have like 10 people in mind right now for this clue. I'm like, who is it?

Her name is Lynn Diamante. The name alone gets her on this list. Lynn Diamante from Game of Crowns. One of Bravo's most fabulous, brilliant, but canceled shows. Yes. Game of Crowns, I think, has won two crappies in a row or something. We just love them. It could win a crappy every year, as far as I'm concerned.

That show, all of them really were amazing. I mean, the lady from Toddlers and Tiaras. Suzanne. Suzanne and Vanessa. And when Suzanne and Vanessa went to Tucson and got into a fight at the Tucson airport because they were wearing the same paisley jumpsuit. I mean, how this has not become

part of the cultural lexicon, I do not know. From Wondery, this is Black History for real i'm francesca ramsey and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february black history exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this

show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold. Black is beautiful. student to make, The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?

Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power money and sex collide in a game of life and death follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus man that show i that's one of the shows that i'm really shocked about not coming back yeah well it was too much show yeah it was oh it was good it was brilliant it was hilarious i mean everything was hilarious and lindy amante to me was the funniest because she was the most deluded she was straight out of a christopher

guest movie she had this weird stuff that she put like this pink stuff in her hair she was wearing stuff from the 80s she had this really nerdy husband and a and like a nerdy child and she had giant portraits of her throughout that throughout the house her lawyer um like, she was now going to – her husband was making sunglasses. She came up with this lie that Leigha's husband had made a death threat against Suzanne. But then it kind of wasn't a lie because then, remember, we saw them all at that – what was it? It was like some beauty show in, like, a karaoke bar or some shit. I mean, that show was tacky as could be. It was, yeah. And then the husband was like yo fucking bury you under the under the earth you fucking

stupid bitch and we were like whoa then the husbands were like getting into it with the women and oh yeah she would she would lynn would like cry but then she would instigate and she was so she was so passive-aggressive and she had these all these moments of like self-indulgence like they would get i think they renewed their their wedding vows every year because her dad got sick or maybe even died right before her wedding so every year they renew the vows to to expunge the emotion girl that bitch will ask you for a gift every year that is basically what that is tacky she had like a beef jerky neck i just loved her it was i mean, I mean, we're just not even doing her justice. Like it was just, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Absolutely amazing. Yeah, she's one of those that really only a clip could do justice. Like really just a bunch of clips of her together. Because she was too two, as Ramona would say. I mean, she's a little too two. Okay? She's okay. My next favorite is another rando project runway thing because even though project runway is gone and probably shouldn't win

um we did have the awkward spinoff of tim who came back tim gunn who came back what was he on it was like tim gunn's i don't know special of whatever yeah guy to style he'd be like well that what you're wearing right now is a catastrophe that's the worst most awful thing i've ever seen nina would be bored that's horrifying you're like an isis you're like an isis meeting in a convention center with with carpets made out of rainbows all this random shit, he would say. I just loved him. And even though he was in the middle of this doomed-to-fail show, and he just didn't know.

He would still show up in his little three-piece suit every day. His attitude over all of these years has never changed. It's a very, very evenly keeled dismay. And it never changed. I mean, that guy, a stripper could jump out a cake and give him a million dollar check. And he'd be like, well, that was boisterous. You know, he would like never have anything like too nice to say. And I just love Tim Gunn.

I still have a ringer from back in the day of Tim Gunn just saying big words. And it's like one of my favorite ringers ever. I get so happy when people call me and that ringer is going off. Well, Tim Gunn is wonderful. I think everyone appreciates that he is warm. He is loving. He is very smart. He has good taste. And he's helpful.

And he's also like foppish as hell. And we love him for it. So, you know, Tim Gunn, national treasure. National. International. International. International treasure. for it so you know he tim gunn national treasure national international international international treasure okay my number six this is a little tricky because like game of crowns i mean who do you choose from this cast but the one that i chose from guy girls is liz it was between like liz or um it could have been really all of them but was what was the name of the other girl the asian girl i have oh i don't remember her name the fake photographer yeah she was hilarious too i want to say priscilla but that's not her name

it's not priscilla angela right so yes and who was the girl who loved who would only drink wine from oregon lol oh that was um chantal also yeah again like it was like which one do you choose i know i could have chosen multiple but i didn't want to clog up my list necessarily so i went with liz because she was was just this snotty mean girl rich entitled bitch who just hated hipsters and somehow was on the team we were rooting for she i mean for me the iconic moment was when she was in art class at the new school and she was painting something and someone stepped on her canvas and she goes some asian stepped on my painting that girl's awfulness defied any expectations and then of course she had a horrible relationship with her father so she had daddy issues going on so she hated the women but she didn't trust the

men but then every man she met like she wouldn't really earn it but she would still make it to the top of the pile because she was just such a bitch and everybody loved it like even in real life i just i loved her too my personal favorite from that and coming in at my number six would be sad amy from gallery girls because sad amy i mean that girl was just i mean that's an ethel right there that poor thing it was always you can put on any red wig you want. You an Ethel girl. And she was just struggling so hard. She was the only one in the entire show who gave a shit about any kind of art galleries.

Or if she knew anything about art. And she cared because she came from a very wealthy family that expected her to do well. But poor sad Amy is just basically like some kind of hanger on stoner who really didn't have that much going on or really care that much but darn it she was going to try to make her family happy and she was always trying to make everybody like her and she just couldn't do it she was she was definitely the jan brady of this show she was rejected by the by the the rich girls you know looked down upon by the hipsters and really it was because of sad amy that we realized that the hipster girls were no better than the bitchy girl the bitchy upper east side girls the difference is that the upper east side

girls knew they were knew they were bitchy and hipster girls had no idea and and because i think because if i remember correctly so sad amy was interested in this disgusting gallery owner named eli and he wanted nothing to do with her and so they she was a drunkard and i think liz at some point was like i'm not hanging out with this fat bitch anymore so then she had to you know sad amy had to go hang out with hipsters and hipsters didn't want anything to do with her you know sad amy had to go hang out with hipsters and hipsters didn't want anything to do with her but then sad amy was like oh my parents have a mansion down in miami we all go to art basel together and stay at my place they're like fine so they used her for

her house and then they were stuck with her as they walked around art basel and not only that didn't they make amy because amy was like i'm all you can stay in our mansion and i can produce your show it's gonna be amazing you're gonna become famous artists guys famous super famous and so she sets up this thing at art basel in front of a chili's or something and they go put out their shit art and then they're like no one's coming like what a loser never trust sad amy we should have known oh my god that's right that was it's just i mean the whole cast with the exception of um the girl from Long Island who was like, whose dad was a firefighter. The whole cast should just take up this slot on our list. Because it was just genius.

Well, Sad Amy's still coming through for us. Someone posted it on our Facebook page the other day. Sad Amy's still at it. It was a Facebook post from Sad Amy and it was like, Hey, you ever wonder who's reading your Facebook? It was one of those. If you read this, you need to comment on my Facebook. And if not,

I'm going to delete you. It was one of those sad posts because a few months ago, I was like, if you ever put that on my Facebook, I'm deleting your ass immediately. I don't even want to read that like that. Are you reading me? I don't believe it.

Don't make me delete you. And we'd been talking about it on the show. So someone saw her do it and was like, oh, Sad Amy's still at it. Yep. And she's doing real estate now, too, I believe. In like Florida or something. Yeah. Yeah.

Bless your heart. We love you, Sad Amy. No reason to be sad. Stop climbing social trees that have no leaves anyway. Nope. Those are terrible branches, girl girl i'm glad you're in real estate i'd love to see sad amy's name on a bench my uh my number five we are getting into the we're getting into the big leagues now okay my number five uh is enough to make someone go

seriously seriously and that would be horse face number one. I mean, Kristen, what can you say? Kristen from Vanderpump Rules. Kristen. She's so awful and so delusional and so crazy, and yet where would we be without her? You know, at a different time, this might have been a slot that would have been given to Stassi. Heck, Stassi could have been all the way up to number two,

or even number one. But Stassi played her cards. She did it all wrong. And Horseface number one but saucy played her cards she did it all wrong and and horse face number one to me is the is the star of vanderpump rules these days well i actually have a different take on that only because horse face number two has really come out swinging no i love number two is on your list look the evolution of horse face number two has just been amazing because horse face two was the one in season one that was like sorry we're models like sorry it was horse horse face number one who said that okay well then they were cutting back and forth while

they were both saying something like yeah it's like hard being gorgeous because like people don't understand like we're gorgeous but also like smart and like whatever like they were both you know there's a reason they're horse twins um i've really really loved watching this girl's evolution not only because she gained weight and i really obviously love it for my own personal reasons like that journey of just like pretending you're not gaining weight like but you are i love the journey of holding salt and pepper shakers on a tray so that you feel thinner in a scene, you know,

like I get it, but also just the whole never getting more positive. But we found so much out about sad horse face. Number two, we've got the wanting to get married to a possibly gay coke head who is never going to work out. She had to beg the guy he wouldn't do it unless it was on camera he got a free ring and you know they got even their

anniversary dinner and their wedding party was all paid for by lisa it's like the cheapest guy who's probably cheating on you and addicted to something so that was really sad um then we got her whole journey of tequila katie where we realized why he won't marry her because at first she was like we've seen shades of katie being shady but we haven't seen the full-on like tequila katie where she's just a violent abusive alcoholic yeah which was great and then at the end of it, we saw all of the failures of sad, you know, Salt-N-Pepa Katie in one night. Where after she went all crazy on Tom as Tequila Katie, and then they started fighting like in the next episode. And she started talking about giving up your dreams. And how, I gave up my dreams.

I mean, like, I gave up acting and I gave up modeling. He's like, you never even went to an audition. She's like, but I thought about it. We learned so much about Katie. And that is such an L.A. girl. They come, they're like, I'm an actor, I'm a model. They never go to an audition. They just wait tables.

They gain some weight. They marry some loser you know is going to just use them for the rest of their life. Like, you know Katie is going to be old with bunions and her husband never going to be coming home and it's just like real and it's it's sadly beautiful so thank you horse face number two wow that is a strong case for her i mean i'm still surprised that um it was horse face number two and well i don't know maybe you'll have other vanderpump rules stars on your list this is for me uh kristin is the only vanderpump rules person um and it was hard i i wanted to put hanky on there i wanted to put lala i wanted to put sheena oh god sheena's just an amazing person too i don't have her on my list either but i mean sheena's

i think she's the star of that show really i mean besides obviously vanderpoops but she's like she's a star of that show i think she's hysterical but for whatever reason tim gunn beat her and his show was canceled already i think i'm gonna just try one of each of the prime cocktails um okay so uh number four for me i'm giving it to someone who's not who is a friend of the show but i'm not giving it to her because she's a friend of the show i'm giving it to her because she's also like absolutely hilarious and uh that's kate chastain from below deck she's great she's so funny she goes toe-to-toe with the guys um and um she the way that she can harness her passive aggression for good um and use it to destroy evil like leon or um chaos

like um rocky is is unparalleled she she basically edges out horse face number one for me just by virtue of being so damn funny and you know she really proved her mettle um not only by kicking that girl's ass who was like giving her shit like her first lesbian relationship we won't bring that into it but in her actual show you know normally the people who are the most outspoken who are i guess quote unquote the villain because they were you know they do put her in the villain mode where she's like whatever rocky like i hope you enjoy you know murdering people with your cherry juice or whatever um they put her kind of in the villain role but whenever she's caught instead of going crazy like for example this year there was the fire in the kitchen and leon was just waiting that evil chef

leon was just waiting to say she was drunk and it was because she's drinking and probably taking drugs and whatever and kate instead of going housewife cutting his head off with a sheet pan throwing things around saying fuck you a lot and just making an ass out of herself you could see in her eyes she like did that back and forth looking like oh shit like you just knew she was caught and that she probably was drunk and that it could have been her fault like there was that moment where you this was like she could go down and she did something no one on bravo's learned to do and that was keep her fucking mouth shut yeah and that's very rare that i'm going to give somebody props for that

but she literally was like i'm just going to be quiet and just watch this play out and she won she ended up winning she yeah because she always keeps her cool and that's the thing hannah on blow deck med i like hannah a lot and i you know i'm part of what i do like about her is that she does lose her cool she's like all right now you listen right here so you don't say those things to me on the chase too you know and that's part of her thing and it's cool and everything but truthfully you know nothing it's not that things don't get under kate's skin they always get under her kid's skin under her skin but she just always handles it like she she just does not like the more you come at her it almost gives her even more power the more the faster she comes back at you with some some

response that just like tears you down i mean her whole argument with leon over a cardboard box was amazing or her little comments about how he didn't know how to open up um uh what's it called a conch or whatever you know like yeah just great just brilliant well mine is also a below deck person and i think watching this season of below of Below Deck Mediterranean really made me appreciate the people from the original Below Deck a little bit more. And that is Amy. Another Amy. Oh, okay. You're going for the sad girls on your list.

Well, I love Amy. You got sad Amy. You got horse face number two. And now you've got second sad Amy. Because it's so difficult on these shows to really be real I mean so many of these housewives it's it takes years to crack through their fakeness and find out what they're really thinking and really get to their personalities like once they're worn down and crazy and Amy didn't really ever feel that and she had just

tried so hard it's like you're gonna make fun of my hair that's okay i don't cry i go to the hairstylist and i try again and she comes back with like a new weave and a 50s haircut and she's just gonna make it all work this time but it was still just shots of amy at the end all sad by herself like well don't we love porn why we sure do amy like just sad poor amy partying alone never getting laid you know having a brother who's like 50 times as hot and getting like as much ass as he wants and this is like the hardest worker we've ever seen on these shows i mean that girl would do any job perfectly her personality is adorable she's adorable but there's just something in her that can't win and it just kills me i love it i want to hug her slap her hug her again throw a starfish into the ocean watch her chase it hey starfish did you see i

made it to number four on the watcher crappians favorite non-housewives list i love you amy or when she was telling rocky she's like the only person who would still be nice to rocky on the boat and she's like well do you feel that it's because you're not approachable. Maybe. And she's like, ah, fuck you! You know, like, totally blows up in her face, of course. You've done real good at doing the peel-a-cases. You stopped putting plastic bags around the fillers. There are no small parts, only small paychecks. I just love Amy.

I just love her realness. And I love that she's one of the best people in the world but she's probably the most horrified by all the press and below deck she's probably in bed in the fetal position like the world hates me why

but you know it's actually she's the most lovable and adorable I love her I love her too I think she's so sweet on the other end of the on the other end of the spectrum my number three um could best be described with one word which is um the one and only katherine dennis of southern charm This woman, she has taken a show, like a generally pleasant show about some rich people in the South, sort of enjoyable. And she has galvanized it with her unique brand of crazy mixed with intermittent British accents, mixed with pathos, mixed with slurring words.

I mean, you don't know. You just never know what Catherine you're going to get, and all of them are kind of amazing. You sort of can figure her out very easily, but you can't. You never know which side you're on. Are you for Catherine? Are you against her?

But one thing that's undeniable is that katherine has made southern charm oh she really has i mean that whole thing you know the internet peanut gallery all of us on the on the old internet we're like oh god that girl's just using that man for his money and people the other side is like no she just got maybe she has daddy issues and he tricked her and then when this season when she was actually when she actually said well i'm the one with the custody of the kids and if he wants to see them he will play my game and i was like whoa okay you're actually coming out as the most horrible human being on tv and i still love you and i'm rooting for you yeah no because she is

fully terrifying I mean there's no one else who could walk into a fake ball dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and still somehow win our hearts okay she is fully crazy she is a crazy woman and yet there are so many times where

she makes these lucid points where you're like yeah you're actually totally right. You know, it's insane. My number three is going to be a shocker to you because we don't even cover this show at all. We don't talk about it ever. But I just love this woman. And I just, in the human race, I think this woman is just winning. And I don't even have a ton of impressions of her or anything.

I just love her. And that is Jeff Lewis's cleaning lady and substitute mother, Zoila. I knew it. God, I love her. She's great. I love a sassy maid, but I love that he is taking care of her and she's taking care of him.

She's one of the only people who can put up with his obnoxious ass and he has come so close to just throwing her on the pile with every other bag of bones that he's gotten rid of in his life but he just can't do it because at the end of the day you just need someone in your life who can say no you stupid you do it you do it yes or the way she'll binge after he goes to bed and then purposely leave cracker crumbs on the counter just to watch him lose his shit. I mean, I love a maid with some attitude. Yeah, no, they actually have a beautiful relationship. Like, it's really, really beautiful.

And last season when she was thinking about quitting because what's-his-face, that asshole, had, like, pushed her to the edge. And Jeff was like, you can't leave. And they had this heart-to-heart. about quitting because what's his face that asshole had like pushed her to the edge and um and jeff was like you can't leave and they had this heart to heart and it was you know it really they do have something very special and it's it's really beautiful to watch and she's funny yes she is hysterical and i love her honesty and her humor and just everything she does for that guy i mean because she probably keeps him somewhat nice or at least acceptable. I wouldn't call him nice.

Yeah. And it's just beautiful because I'm kind of a horrible person that will probably end up dying alone. And just to know that that kind of relationship exists, and I don't mean his marriage, but that maid relationship, I mean, look, it gives me hope. So thank you. Hugs to you guys. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

Hugs. me hope so thank you hugs to you guys hugs hugs hugs hugs um my number two is uh i actually just i just changed my order right now right now i just swapped my number one and my number two because i realized i can't give this one number one because number two shouldn't be number one okay but my my number two um is someone who gets a lot of attention on this podcast almost every single episode. And that is Caroline Fleming. You know, she came in in a season, did not really do much. But whenever she opened her mouth, she would just say the most ridiculous self-serving things. And it's like the things that she would

do caroline fleming of ladies of london you know she has dinner party and because juliet who is american is there she gets her a special plate of fritos because she's american you know she has a chair that's shaped like a bench that's shaped like a vagina she has a bookcase in the middle of her dining room table she says condescending things about making pesto, such as, how lucky are you to have me teach you about pesto? She talks about almond butter, extensively pink Himalayan sea salt. And then she's all this whimsical whatever,

and then she takes everyone to Denmark, where she shows off her aristocratic side and brags about statues and how chefs had to fetch her comp de from across the city and how her great great grandfather killed Julie's great great grandfather-in-law. Like it's just when they show up late she's like I can't believe that you're in a castle and you show up late to breakfast. You know like just crazy. It just goes on and on. Absolutely amazing.

That was beautiful. I mean the whole way that she tried to fool everybody into being this hippie thing and then we found that she's like rebelling she's a rebellious princess and she told her family suck it i'm gonna do what i want to do but then she goes home and she turns just into that spoiled little bitch immediately immediately was just hilarious yeah mine is also a ladies of i just want to i just want to say by the way that the she is the only one the only character that we have who has their own segment on Watch for Crappins

which is why for a moment there she was number one but then I decided no I have to give this number one still to someone else who it may even be your number two we'll see well my number two is Claire I love her still to someone else who it may even be your number two we'll see well my number two is clear i love her and i can't remember her name right now caroline fleming caroline i mean caroline

stanbury jesus i love that woman just the uh ability to be such an ice cold bitch but also be so hilarious and she's one of those people that acts like she's above everybody, but she like literally is just because she's so much smarter than them. Like the big fights with her on the show where she made fun. She was just being so mean in a group New Year's party and making fun of the fact that Julie was trying to show up. The yoga teacher was showing off yoga and couldn't get into the tree pose and then caroline was just like nice tree a tree doesn't grow in brooklyn or whatever she was saying

and just made her cry and then her apology was like well i'm sorry you can't do a tree pose clear her like just just ice cold and then she's talking about her business and you know our whole joke was that this woman's never worked she's married to some rich saudi or something who bought her everything and gave her a business and of course it goes broke yeah and so she has to let off 500 people or something which never even made sense for a personal shopper business like it never made any sense and then she's like i can't have fun while i'm sending my employees home to the pole the pole line and then they show her in first class and then in like a white robe in the four seasons presidential suite trying to pretend that

she's worried about the poor people she just laid off i mean just too rich and beautiful rich too rich well that brings me to my number one and uh my number one favorite Bravo star that is not a real housewife is Caroline Stanbury who we were just talking about it's kind of funny because she was gonna be my number two and I thought you know Caroline Fleming it seems like she should be number one because she's the only one who has her own segment on our show. But I couldn't, I just couldn't in full conscience, I could not make Caroline Stenberg number two. She has to be number one. And for everything that you just said,

she is a cold bitch. She's smart. She is mean. But she is hilarious. And she seems to not be full of any bullshit she even when she does bullshit things like be like quote-unquote sad about you know laying off people and going off to like the ritz-carlton or four seasons or whatever you sort of are on her side you're like well you know she's a rich bitch and she's fabulous she's allowed

you know what can you do what are you gonna stay home and eat white bread and cheese for the next four days go out have fun yeah she's hilarious and it's no accident that bravo started season two with a close-up of her forehead with someone spray tanning her forehead just slowly slowly cross the forehead drive faster faster slowly valentina where's valentina just barking orders at people because that's what she does and it's fabulous she was one of those that we would just constantly make jokes about that didn't happen on the show and then they would happen on the show yeah like because you could just tune

into her brand of evil so so well love her I mean things that have been happening over there I read on her Instagram I think a while back it was a few months ago she's like well well moving to uh they're moving like they're leaving and i was i've just been so worried like is she going to be on the next season is there going to be how are they going to do this without

her i need her back like brexit i was like girl what happened to caroline i know i just need to know i don't even care as people like their their houses are gone everything's gone their economy's freaking out it's huge part of history and i'm like what's what's happening with caroline i don't know i mean she is so she she is just so hilarious and so great or like there's a gif that i love of her just saying i thought i was being charming yeah like that sums it all up oh and when she had to hang out with her kids for the first time and she was just horrified by them she was like oh yeah they're still walking around there is this all they do is walk around like

clear them clear them yeah the way she belittles the Americans, the way she, like, pushes the children into nannies. Then she goes driving around with the gays when they come into town and everything. You know, it's just perfection. Well, my number one is a little shocking. Yes. But, you know, I love kind of an underdog. Yes. And this is the ultimate underdog.

It's crushing. of an underdog and this is the ultimate underdog and she is so positive and so beautiful and not only that but you know all this erica jane love this season we've been complaining mostly because she's literally not a fun person she's like one of the driest most obnoxious not fun people who basically just uses some man's money to go dance in gay bars and just annoy the fuck out of me. So it's not her, obviously. But the original template for the Erika Jayne and the actual fun, beautiful person who not only celebrates America, but was extremely proud to become an American after working really hard to do

it the right way. My number one is from Euros of Hollywood. And her name is Fonny. I'm Fonny. I make a singy and a dancy. My name is Fonny. Fonny was on my honorable mentions. That's so wonderful.

Wow, that is a surprise, and I support it. I love Fonny. Wow, that is a surprise, and I support it. I love Fonny. I mean, all the things just coming from a family of immigrants and seeing what they went through and just how much, I mean, I know it's because it's the 4th and stuff, but it's an election and everyone's yelling and screaming at each other and we're basically fighting for criminals to be on both sides.

And sometimes it just seems like, what the fuck are we even doing in this country? And then I remember people, beautiful people, who remember what this country is and want to be here and really work hard to be a part of this ridiculousness and just embody it in everything they do. And I don't think you can embody an American lifestyle as much as that bitch do. Yeah, she was great. I loved Fonny. I felt like she was actually pretty smart. You know, she came out in the beginning like, oh, who is this dippy girl?

But she actually was like pretty smart. She actually and she was also a very good artist. And I loved her. That's so I that's I love this choice. She's like, you can do it. You can be whatever you want to be. You want to be American actor. can do it and he's like oh yes i do it and like he's like he can't get rid of his accent he like blew his way into a security

card role and she's just like you can do it it was a great show it was a great show that really um you know that should have gotten more attention because those people were bonkers. And I think it's a good segue into my honorable mentions list because I had Bliona on my honorable mention. Bliona! Oh, she was great. She was so awful.

I was the Madonna of Romania. Madonna of Romania. She was so awful, and yet by the end of the season, I came to kind of respect her, because I felt like she worked really hard, you know? Bitch got on the Grammys red carpet that year in that stupid see-through glitter Vegas outfit she wore.

Yeah, that was the American Music Awards, and she was real thirsty. She just needed... Well, she just didn't understand what she had to do. She had that song that's like, Bitch, I'm famous. Fuck you, I'm famous. I'm like, that had that song's like bitch i'm fuck you i'm famous i'm like that's not gonna make you like she was trying to be um i have other honorable mentions gotta give an honorable mention to mj from shazza sunset not only does she get sliders delivered every day during this podcast but mj is just mj you know

like i felt bad that she wasn't on my list because she is a major star on Bravo. But I had to give love to other people first. But MJ deserves some love, I think. I wanted to give also honorable mention to Shep and Cameron from Southern Charm because they are a great Greek chorus. I think they do. They don't have a lot of drama in their lives, but they are really funny and really likable, even when Cameron is being kind of persnickety this season. Cameron has really reinvented the opening monologue thing. Like, previously, he's a white trash piece of crap.

And I just love that she has been given that opportunity to reinvent that wheel. And I just love the road it takes me on every single time. Yes. Vanessa from Game of Crowns classic and yeah classic classic will forever hold power because her husband owns an indian casino or some shit oh you know yeah she's still on everybody's snapchat she will ensnare you in the foxwoods and be like here's the red carpet dear like oh geez um also gotta show some love for dr simone and toya from marriage to medicine you know that show uh i try not to think about that show that often because i used to love it and now i've grown to really dislike it

and you know why we throw carrie in there too but those women are hilarious oh my god fit is new it was hilarious a woman who's never been overweight in her entire life having a diet program and then the other one, Simone always saying, now we need to keep calm here, I told you you are a user bitch and then she would just go crazy and like

lose it there would have been a time when Quad was on that list but Heavenly is good, I would put Heavenly on that list, but she just got to it. Oh, my God. Heavenly is good. I would put Heavenly on that, too. Yeah, Heavenly, for sure. Oh, Heavenly. I have to give honorable mention also to two and maybe even three people from Million Dollar Decorators. Martin Lawrence Billard and Catherine Ireland and Mary What's-Her-Face.

They were hilarious, and they were just fun and catty, and they would get together and were just fun and catty and they would get together and just be fun and catty with each other and just make fun of people I bought a $30,000 table from Ninja oh yeah it's from Ninja

and they put a big red wall across this ivory tusk good one and then my very last one I just have to red wall across this ivory tusk. Good one. And then my very last one, I just have to, I was so sad there was no room for her on my top 10, but she's the one who always leaves me paralyzed. Liza!

From Secrets and Wives! Liza! Were they having sex in the bushes? Paralyzed! And her mother. I'm on the gravel. Thanks for letting me out of the driveway. I've been sitting out there on the gravel.

And then there was What's-Her-Face, who's dating Arthur. Mix, mix. Is this going to go on Insta? Is this going to go on Insta, Mix? Arthur's coming in here, Mix. Arthur loves me. He bought me a car. And it's like some used ladybug car.

Oh, poor thing. And then Susan, who was dating Jonathan. You know, Jonathan's just a little rough around the edges. That's all with Jonathan. That's all. You know what your problem is? You need a job. You need to work.

You need to work. That's what you need. He was like the vicky of long island yeah and cory was like you know what this party sucks that's this party this sucks right now so basically all of secrets and wives and andy too liza liza let's get into bed tonight liza oh and gail gail with the blazers. I mean, yeah, all the secrets of wives. I will not be party to death. Okay, Gail. Yeah, that was really fine.

Supes fine. What a good way to spend the fourth, Ben, or the fifth. Yeah, and let's hear from everyone. You guys, leave a comment on our Facebook page with this post. And tell us who you think are some of your favorite Bravo non-housewives. Because there are so many to choose from, so many that we didn't even get around to. Yes. It's very rare that we have an entire episode not devoted almost entirely to Housewives. So this was really fun to talk about everybody else for once.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Fun times. Happy Fourth, everybody. Love you. Love you, everybody. Love ya. Love ya, America. And everybody, you can find us over at WatchWhatCrappins.com

for all our links. Patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrappins to come get today's Food Network bonus episode and all of our bonus episodes and ringers and all that other good stuff. And of course, Facebook.com slash WatchWhatCrappins to come talk to other listeners during the week about all the shows we cover we love you guys love you bye hey prime members you can

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