Watch What Crappens - #3087 Below Deck Med S10E09 Part 1: Good Ol’ Unreliable Nathan

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapThe gang on Below Deck Mediterranean go to a beach club where they immediately get down to dry humping.  Afterwards, Nathan struggles to lead his team as spring lines, shackles, and one fugitive tender undermine his authority.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. and welcome to Water Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the incomparable. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello.

Thank you for not comparing me to anybody. No, you're incomparable. You cannot be compared to any single person on this entire planet. Comparable only to a car crash and a leaking bag of turkey. That's a... Rondel Karam. That's a horrible comparison. And you can definitely do better than that if you're going to do that.

Well, thanks. How are you doing, baby? I am doing great. Thank you. So today we are talking below deck med. Programming update. We'll have Salt Lake City up for tomorrow. The recap for that.

We are not doing Southern Charm this week because it's Thanksgiving. And, you know, we've been going pretty strong for the past two weeks with BravoCon and everything. And we were like, you know what? I think it's okay if we don't podcast on Thanksgiving. So we will, of course, bring back Southern Charm next week, and we will, you know, sort of do a high-level recap of what happened. We'll sort of touch on what happened this week. But if you're wondering where the Southern Charm recap is, it's going to be in all of our heads. So.

Yeah, it's nowhere. That's where it is. It's dead. We killed it. But we do have a Dwell Hello, and we have a trailer trash for the new show, the Valley Persian style coming out. And also next week, we have another programming update. thing. Yeah, big one. We will be adding Married to Medicine to

rotation. It's back. Which begins on November 30th. We haven't recapped it for a couple seasons, but we will be back the season. Yes, we are fully embracing our marriage medicine roots. I mean, we started off back when this show started, our show started, we were, you know,

Married to Medicine was brand new and we were recapping it back then and we're coming back to it. So Married to Medicine, back in the rotation. Also, I just want to say dwell hello, it's our final dwell hello. So go listen to it. It also happened to be one of our favorite House Hunters episodes of all time to watch. So it was so perfect.

Thanks again to our Patreon premium supporter, Jill Hirsch, for finding that episode for us. Thanks to everyone who over the past three years submitted recommendations for Dwell Hello. It's been so fun recapping those episodes. We're just putting it on pause. It's indefinite hiatus just to give ourselves a little bit of a break. on that front. It's actually five years. You know that, right? Because we did it two years before Wendery as well. It's just been three years at one. Three years, three years of like a regular schedule of it. Yeah. Yeah. But I just wanted to also give a quick shout out to Joey Taranto

from the I think not a true crime comedy podcast. Because he's a new friend. I just met him through Matt Marr of the reality gaze. But I went to see him this weekend at the La Jolla playhouse in Working Girl, a new Cindy Lopper musical. And it was pretty great. It was pretty awesome to see it. And Jojo played Working Girl. She played Melanie Griffith. That's so cool. It was amazing. It was like watching Cindy Lopper and Working Girl. Like they wrote it

kind of for Cindy Lopper wrote it. Working Girls just want to have fun. Yeah. Yeah. And it was so good. It's a new musicals. They're still working stuff out. But it was so good. He was so good. It was so great to meet. And what a bundle of energy that guy is. So thanks for that. Go see it if you can.

It's probably sold out. Please tell me. Wow. Please tell me. Was there a dance number with dim sum carts? There weren't dim sum carts, but they moved the desks around for numbers like dim sum carts, if that makes any sense. Okay. And people danced on them and stuff. I mean, I was disappointed there wasn't a psoriasis number because that's my favorite commercial of the past decade is... I'm Cindy Lauper, and I've got psoriasis. And I really wanted them to work that in. They didn't, but it was still fabulous. Well, that sounds great. I'm going to give some shoutouts to, because it's, you know, it's Thanksgiving week.

We're giving thanks. If you want to listen to this recap, just fast forward five minutes. Yeah, just fast forward. You got the button. I don't care. My first shout out is, oh, shout out to the Washington Post for including us in their article about Bravo content creators. So go check that out in Washington Post. Also, a shout out to me for writing a Thanksgiving guide.

It's on my NBD fancy. I'm not really giving myself a shout. I'm just trying to thematically link this in. I'm like shout out to me, really. But I just, I released an NBD fancy. Speaking of psoriasis. I released an NBD fancy column today on my substack. And I mentioned that because it's all about Thanksgiving and how to do some, what I call

low-lift Thanksgiving, which was like easy Thanksgiving things or how to organize yourself. So if you're in need of that, I wrote a whole scale. schedule, how you can organize your Thanksgiving to hopefully make it go as smoothly as possible, easier said than done. I'm aware, but go check that out. It's NVDfancy.subtac.com. And I'd like to give an anti-shout, a reverse shoutout. No, don't you dare. Don't you dare come for Wicked. I know what you're about to do. Don't you do it? No. I am, no, the, the Wicked, Wicked is, Wicked has a, Wicked has a perfectly fine shout out. I'm giving an anti, anti-shout out. to the lady who brought her five,

four, like five, three and four year olds to a seven p.m. viewing of Wicked and sat right next to us. What the hell happened? So last night, we went to Wicked. This has nothing to the below deck. There's nothing to do Bravo, but it needs to be set on a platform.

I'm using the platform for good right now. So Domina. Crappins for good. Plus 50, yeah, honestly, this is crap, it's for good. Plus 15 seconds on your podcast app, everyone. Don't forget that button is there,

plus 15 seconds. That means five minutes. Yeah. Just hit that a few times until all this one year. Oh, wow, look at that wind. So, Dom and I went to see Wicked for Good last night. We went to a 7 o'clock showing, and we went to this movie theater that's on, there's a movie theater that's on Crescent Heights and Sunset, which is semi indie.

It used to be an indie theater, then became an AMC, and now it was a lamber. You went to see it at that place? Why would you do that? You need to go to a big nice screen. Have you been to the Grove lately? Have you, like, this episode of Below Deck Med is, it's called like, The actual name of it is called something about peasants. It's like peasants.

You have a guy on this below-deck med calling people on the boat peasants. If you go to the AMC at the Grove, you find the real peasants, okay? Those are the people who are on there with their phones. They're having conversations. They're texting. It's like a nightmare. You cannot watch movies there anymore. So I was like, let me go.

We're going to go to this smaller theater where, which is actually pretty good. It's a pretty nice theater. But like it's a little bit more quote unquote like adult, not like adult, to triple X. Like, they're just like more adults that go there. It's not as ridiculous.

You don't get like, you don't get all the teenagers who are literally just like yapping because they think that movies are just like background noise to whatever conversation they're having on their phones.

I know I sound like an old man, but this, we all know it's true. We all know that you have your whole amazing story about that lady at sinners. And so we go. So it's not that crowded in there.

Dom and I are the only people in this enormous row, enormous row. And in the middle, in the middle, 10 minutes of the movie. 10 minutes into the movie, this lady walks in. She goes up to Dom and she's got like a trail of children behind her. She's like the Pied Piper of some like nursery school. And she like goes, she looks at Dom and she goes, I think you're sitting in my seat like an entire enormous

row and you're 10 minutes late. It's like, girl just sit like one down or two down. So already we're like, oh God. They made so much noise. The kids were running around the theater left and right. They were running, running like a playground. It was in, it was actually legitimately insane. So a big anti-shout to this woman. Like, why are you bringing kids at 7 o'clock at night? How did you not Karen out in there? Why would you not caring out? We moved seats to a...

Oh, I'm going to move right to the manager station and to wave my finger around. You know what? It would have been a bad look if I did that. I'll just leave it at that. Who cares? It's a bad look to have your damn kids running up and down. That would have tripped those little fuckers.

Pulled out my dick and started flicking it at him. But who's going to bring like a series of like three and four and five-year-olds to like a two and a half hour movie at 7 o'clock on a Monday that features some kind of scary elements like the flying monkeys and the big Oz mask and a witch and all that I was like

I'm not that the kids cared because they were talking the whole time but anyway Oh my gosh, death death to those parents. Horrible. Horrible. Thank you everyone for allowing me the space to let that out. I understand that rant was not in the spirit

of the little PSA that happened before the movie where Ariana Grande and Cynthia Revo stood hand in hand and said, we hope you enjoy. We've arrived at the end of our journey with Wicked, but we hope you still enjoy it and you can be friends like the way we're friends. Did you see this, by the way? No, I haven't seen it.

I'm waiting until I'm in Texas. I'm going to see it with the fam. Like the two of them stood up there. They have like a little video before the movie starts. That's like where they're holding hands. You're like, thank you for watching our movie. We hope you really love it. I was like, what is this?

Oh, whatever. Fly a helicopter over head and watch him have a nervous fucking breakdown. Okay, have you seen that interview where the helicopters going over? And Cynthia Reevo's having a nervous breakdown because she can't stand the helicopter noise. And Ariana Grande is like, oh, no. Stop it, helicopter. Stop it. Leave her alone.

And she's like, oh, with her nails all over her face. She's like, oh, God. But ultimately, Cynthia Revo can do no wrong after that Jesus Christ Superstar moment over the summer. Like, honestly, she can feel like I will support no matter whatever, paranoia she has about the helicopter. Okay, everyone, thank you for indulging me. Okay, here we go. You can tell it's almost

the holidays because we're like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Two more shows left. Party. Let's make them as long as possible. We're like, guys, it's like, Ronnie, we are like one hour away from Thanksgiving break. Let's talk about random shit. Let's talk about musicals. Working girl and Lincoln. It's like when you were

in school and it was almost a holiday time and so the teacher would wheel in that giant TV on a cart and just play a movie or something. That's what this feels like. Before we started this, we were just listening to old sound clips of quad and just laughing our asses off.

That's what we did. They're just so good, though. Each one is just like, they're all classic. Me and Miss Gilles, a daffodil, has it, honey. All right, so here we go. Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, episode 9, this is unpeasant. Unpeasant.

Oh, God. Unpeasant. Yeah. So where we last left off, Kizzy was making it with Max, despite the fact that Kathy was like, I'm going to make it with Max tonight. But Kizzy, you know, she always has to be number one. She has to be in the spotlight. So she goes after Max. And Kathy is just watching and she's just very disappointed. And here's my problem with Kizzy. You know, I get she's competitive and she always wants to be number one. And she seems to be very self-aware of what she's doing, you know, because she narrowates what. an asshole she is through the whole thing. But get better goals. You know what I mean?

It's like when she's like, I always win. I'm always winning and I will never stop until I win. I'm like you're holding a, you're like literally holding a toilet scrub right now. And then, you know, the other thing she's like fighting to win is like you won max.

You won fucking max. Like, dude, get better goals. You're so sad. Well, that's why she's grumpy. That's why she's grumpy the second half of the episode because she realizes she,

she like has there's like no one to pull from like she literally she she thought she was like the one all the guys were like you know slobbering after her and then she just wound up with max that was the best she could do although she did sneak a kiss in with nathan ultimately but also this sort of this cast is not really the cast where there's like the cool guy there's no like quarterback you know there's no college quarterback that you're trying to get with nathan's the closest thing to it but like you know we all think gary is disgusting gary is like the worst whatever But on his seasons, he was definitely like the alpha male that was like, you know, for people like the kizzies and the Ashleys, it was like if you got with Gary, it was some sort of like, like, you somehow got elevated in their minds. But there's not really anyone like that on this season.

So it's like, okay, you could have like Joe. It was like the best kind of herpes. It was like the manliest kind of herpes. Yeah. It's like you have Joe. You have Max. I mean, I think Nathan's probably, Nathan's probably the best of the best, but like, I don't know. It's just that, God, you know what I feel so bad about

is how they don't even consider the chef and part of the equation. She's like, well, there's no one left to cheese from. I mean, V's with Joe, Nathan's unavailable. Max and Kathy have something going on. So there's really nothing left unless I go full of lesbian and I have to go after Sandy.

But, oh, well. No one's fucking a clown. No. I'm telling you. I'm sorry. That's why they all hang out together. No one is fucking a clown. You know what? Do you know why you never saw Marcel Marceau

in fucking tabloids. No-ma fucked him. Smart. And that's not even a clown. That's a mime. And clown face. Why do you think that Pennywise is called it?

Because that's all he wants to do. He just wants to do it. And he can't. No one will fuck Penny Wise. Penny Wise would probably be much more docile if he just got laid. Let's be honest. And we know it's not the teeth

because we've watched this show. People with shit teeth make out all the time. You know it's the clown makeup. up, I'm telling you. It's not even the serial killing. We see plenty of serial killers get some. Yeah, he can get the ears. He'll write them letters in prison.

I'm telling you, it's the clown. Yeah. Yeah. He needs also a better, like, he needs a better, like, fuck bad. Okay, a sewer's just not going to do it. Yeah, truly. It's like, oh, my God, do I have to come in again? It's so hard to get into that thing.

Because he's like, so. So when can I see your place? He's like, um, how about we go to your place instead? What's what's what? Oh, do you live with your mother? He's like, no, I just, I live in a sewer. I live with my mother's poop. I love Pennywise and like a, like a light mom com.

Sleepless and, sleepless and sewer addle. Okay, so Kizzy and Max are making out. And Kathy is, you know, hurt because she's, been telling this girl all day, oh my God, finally, I found Max. He's so nice. He talks to him. I'm finally going to make out with Max. Oh, my God. And then Kizzy immediately does it right in the hot tub in front of Kathy. So Aisha sees it, and she sees Kathy's face. So she's like, well, you know, Kizzy just wants to be like the number one prize. And she knows when other girls wants a guy. And she just makes it a mission to get the guy. It's just who she is. Aisha was, I feel like Aisha had some really funny reads this episode.

It just starts right here. She just says it right there, like with an earshot. And Kathy's like, yeah. So they just keep on making out. So Kathy gets out. She's like, I'm not going to deal with this and everything. And then Max is like, oh, okay. Oh, we do this all again.

Oh, Kathy and Aisha. Before you leave, we do this all again tomorrow. And Kathy's like, yeah, you can do exactly what she did tonight tomorrow. But without me. And furthermore, I'd like to add, ACC, ACC. Men, am I right? Ack.

If you think I'll be standing by the telephone, waiting for you to call, you're absolutely correct. Hack, me. Now, I'm going to go downstairs and eat my feelings with some chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Ack. So, yeah, so she kind of, like, gives him a, you know, little... Try it without me, buddy.

And then he just looks over at Kizzy, and she's just smiling. She's just, like, smiling with her teeth, if she does. And then they cut to V and Joe, and they're also cradling and making sweet, sweet love in their eyes. And he's like, oh, but then, what the fuck I did? Kathy's maddened me now? And Kathy's like, I've never felt more rejected in my life, and with Kizzy. It's like she doesn't even care who she's going to piss off. She just gets what she wants.

Max has a good mental workaround But she could have joined Why not? Oh God, Max. So now... You were the last option. Yeah.

You're the last thing available on the menu, sir. Other than the clown. Other than the clown. So now they left And then after they're done making out, Kizzy is now going to feel bad for herself. She's like, you know, they were talking about me

whilst I was sat right there. Like, oh, Kizzy just loved the attention. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry, ma'am. can't pull that move. You can't be like a total bitch and do that. And then like try to actually have people feel sorry for you. Like you did the cut throat thing. You like your friend there said that she wanted to make out with Max and then you went and did it to after you encouraged him to do it, crunched her to do it. And then you can't be like, oh my God, I can't believe they talk shit

about me. No, you've got to stand in your like if you're going to do it. If you're going to be like, you know what? I deserve to kiss Max and fuck all those other women. Then you have to be able to stand in it as well. Sorry. Stand in your truth, baby Ruth. Yeah. And also, you've been saying this whole time in your little monologs, like, oh yeah, I just want the man. I don't care. I'm going to fuck everybody. If she wants him, then I'm

going to get him. If she wants his job, I'm going to get the job. No, no, no, no. You basically stated in plain English what Asia just said. So you can't act like such a victim now. And I'm sorry you don't like to hear people talk behind your back, but they weren't behind your back. They did it right in front of your face while you were making out with the guy.

So, sorry. Don't feel bad for you. So now we go to Aisha and Kathy in the mess. And Kathy's like, I just can't believe the turn of events tonight. She's like ironing something and cleaning a window with her other hand. Yeah. She's like making the crew mess look absolutely perfect in her rage. And then Kizzy's telling the, she's like,

I know Max and Kathy were having a bit of a vibe, but I love to kiss. I'll kiss anyone, you know, but it's still shit to hear when they say that. You don't get out of jail free card just because you like to kiss anyone. one okay just because you like to do things doesn't mean that it comes without consequence like you can guess sure go guess whoever you want but then you also have to deal with what people are going to say you know sorry i can't look you know jerking off is fun i can't go jerk off at the bank unless it's perfect i guess i'm not good but i go to jail it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

Hello, I'm Matt Ford. And I'm Alice Levine and we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast British Scandal. In our latest series, Michelle Mown, we tell the story of a woman from Glasgow who left school at 15 and devised an idea. A next-level bra that remoulds the cleavage. An uplifting story, which gives you a real boost. I hate myself. She moved from business to politics and when COVID hit says she knows a great company to supply PPE. And the company, PPEMedPro, made millions of pounds.

profit from the contract, oh and a lot of the equipment was unusable. Oh, a minor detail. And having said that she had nothing to do with that profit repeatedly, she then goes on national television and says that her and her children are actually in line to receive nearly £30 million as a result of it. To find out the full incredible story, follow British scandal wherever you listen to podcasts or listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus. So Kathy's like, well, get me on a sunlanger tomorrow and I will get it spotless. I'll tell you that right now because it's their break tomorrow.

So then now we go to the hot tub and there's this yellow light and it just looks like they've all peed on it, which is really gross. And Kizzy wants to leave Joe and V in the hot tub because, you know, it's about to turn yellow with white speckles in it. Yeah, Joe is in the midst of his fuckboy crisis. wherein he is attracted to the, he wants to be a fuck boy with a girl, but since her boyfriend died, he feels like he's just not, he's not prepared to deal with the consequences,

the consequences of his own actions, of being called not only a fuck boy, but someone who fucked boyed essentially a widow. And so he is now leaning into this whole thing of like, she's unlike anyone I've ever met before. He's like, oh, wow, this is my first time when I want to have relations with somebody

that's in the same group. I'm like, we saw you last season. Don't say that. Let's just maintain professional jobs for our best friend. So he knows that he doesn't want to, I feel like he knows he doesn't want to get involved with her because he knows he's going to fuck it up and he's going to look extra bad. So I think he's basically saying, let me get the street cred of of being some sort of gentleman in this situation and like withholding and being, tending to her heart very carefully. I don't know. It's all bullshit to me. Well, he's also pulling out every fuck boy thing in the in the book, every line throughout this episode. He goes through every single one.

But I didn't understand this one. He says, this is my first time when I want to have relations with somebody that's in the same group. You just did it last year. What are you talking about? Like, you're a liar. So he's like, well, I'm not afraid of commitment or whatever. I've just got, I've got feelings for her. And I don't know what to do, which is why I don't want to fuck her in case I want to fuck somebody else.

Yep. Like, what are you talking about? So he says, let's go to bed and she's like, do you want to sleep in the same bed? By the way, I'm not ever going to feel sorry for V either. I know she's got the whole dead boyfriend storyline and stuff. And I'm not saying I don't feel bad about that, but I'm not going to feel sorry for her going forward. Because this man has said a million times, even though he's doing the whole mixed messages thing where he's like, oh, I'll say this, but then I'll tell you like, you're my soulmate at the same time. Yeah.

But even if he dropped it once and then dropped all this other stuff. you can't, you should know better. This guy's gonna do nothing but run Ramshod all over your emotions, your feelings, your self-confidence. He's also, get in my van. He's also, yeah, get in the van. He's also, he's trying to paint a picture

of some sort of emotional maturity that he's actually opening his heart up. He's actually being the vulnerable one. He's opening his heart up and he's taking it slow so that way he's not a fuck boy. He's changed America. And he thinks about things on a deeper level now.

And he's met this girl, yada, yada. this is all an elaborate setup so that way he can fuck her and then when she starts to develop feelings he could be like it's going too fast i'm feeling too vulnerable she's a crazy like that's what we see this all the time we know exactly what this is all about yeah basically he can say whatever he wants but all i hear is listen here america i'm almost bold and i'm gonna get any tail i can please don't hate me it's clearance rack time it's clearance of rack time the store is close So everyone's going to bed and Max is talking to Josh the clown and he's like, oh, Poutain, which our industrious note taker, Shelby looked up. And Poutin is, I think, a curse in French, which explains why it was, you know, it was bleeped out in the captions. And so he said, Poutin, I feel bad, bro. I don't want to be in the middle of things. And so Josh is like, well, at least you're in the middle of some things. I'm just watching things from afar from my super great.

It's like, oh, fuck fun. Me at Gizzy, I've been floating for a while. But yeah, I forked it up because I actually prefer more Kathy. So full speed, torture. Try to make this up. Kathy, I'm coming for you. And I'm like, surely Kathy's smart enough to just be like, fuck off. I'm like, Kathy will speak.

She's not. Spoiler alert. She's not. I was so disappointed in Kathy. I was too, but you know what? I mean, I kind of get it. You've only got so many choices. You know, like, and you're horny.

You know, you're young, you're horny, you're on a boat. There's only so many choices you can get. And you just take the least offensive out of all of them, I guess. Yeah, it's not, it's like, you know, it's like going to the supermarket and hoping that they have an airmez bag for you. It's like, no, it's paper or plastic. And those are your choices. You just got to pick one. And you have to pay 10 cents for it, too.

Those are my 10 cents, which is five times more than my normal thought. so Joe is going to sleep in Kathy's room so they do it's like everyone's getting into bed and Kathy's like this is the worst night ever and then she cleans up Joe's room and then Joe and V are getting into bed and she's like you're such a cuddlebug you're such a cuddlebug Joe

and then I'm kissing noises and all that yeah they're making out they probably do it But we can't tell because he's on the bottom bunk. So we don't get the, we don't get the camera catching them doing it. Yeah, but we see a whole bunch of armpit. That's what we see. Yeah.

So then Joe's, you know, making a face in his confessional, like, he, he, he, he. And she's in hers like, he, he, he. So I guess they did it. And then now it's the next morning. Everybody wakes up. Nathan's shaving his legs in his bunk. Which is that the place to do that? I don't know.

I never figured him for a leg shaver. I didn't figure that either. Maybe it's that way he can swim faster when he has to save someone, like a swimmer. So Josh is doing yoga on the deck and, you know, trying not to kill somebody. And Nathan goes and gets in bed with Asia to gossip. And he's like, oh, Joe stayed in the cabin with V last night. Sounds like Scooby-Dew in a garbage disposal. What's happening over there?

Stop exciting Asia. Joe's like, we kissed because he comes in and tells him, yes, we kissed. A nice little cuddle. Yeah, and good rest. So Max is doing yoga, and Kathy, Kathy is talking to V in the crew mess. and Josh also clown

She's like Oh I didn't notice you were here I thought you were just a broom Anyway So Vee Josh is Max alive this morning Shall we kill him And V's like yeah He's doing his breathing thing

They're just sort of talking back and forth And Kathy's expressing that she was really upset because she thought things were going to progress last night And then nope She goes but I was disrespected And Kizzi just ignores her And she's like

What if I wear this? Jeff Should I wear this? Yeah, she walks in like, this is like, like, what am I? Should I wear this for their day off? And Kathy goes, no, that's not beach club, which is Kathy's way of saying, you're a fucking slut hole bitch. Get out of my sight, you stupid Pussfield skank.

And she says, well, things are still a bit awkward with Kizzy, but I'm not engaging with that because I need to prove that I'm a good stew. Like, you annoy me, fine, but I'm going to outshine you, and you're going to look worse. And I win. I win. This place will shine like the top of the Chrysler building. After a good wash, that is.

The making of Miss Hannigan. That reminds me. She just wants to do good. Man, she just keeps getting thwarted by girls everywhere she turns. That reminds me, I need to go to New York to clean the Chrysler building. So Nathan and Asia, Nathan's saying he's going to get fucked up in everything. And he's just so happy that he has a day off because he's like, I can't actually express the pressure that comes with being Captain Sandy's bosun. Do you know how hard it is to sit

in a crew mess for hours at a time laughing and joking and dancing with your friend? Then have your boss come in and say, get back to work. It's difficult. Do you know how difficult it is not having somebody appreciate your box step that you're doing with your friend? Like, okay. So, yeah, it's a day off time. So everybody's psyched. So they get into the vans to go to the beach club. Nathan, Joe and Max and Asha and one van. And she's like, welcome to my therapy session. Well,

well, doctor, I had a good night with Victoria last night. I enjoy our company and stuff like that. So I'm not going to look elsewhere. We're closed off. It's fine. I'm not in a position to hurt her. Like, you're acting like you're on Love Island, though. Like just, like, you are actually specifically in a position to hurt her and you will

hurt her. And in fact, later on, we see the trailer for this the rest of the season and you do hurt her. I'm going to lose it off. So we go to the other van with Josh, Kathy, Kizzy, and Vee's like, oh, wow, I just haven't felt like this since, you know. Yeah, we know. And Kizzy's like, well, obviously, I was flirting with Joe before. I'm so mean, right?

I'm so sorry. I'm like, okay, we get it. Your boyfriend died. I'm sorry. I set the tone by ranting against children and wicked. Let me just. Ronnie, you're wicked for good. It's okay.

You're wicked for good. I hear how I sound. that was terrible but yes we know okay we get it so kizzy's like well obviously i was flirting with joe before and now that i know you have feelings i'm like and kathy's just like whatever she's just ignoring her because she knows she's fucking with her and v's like oh yeah thanks for respecting that she's like oh yeah of course that's me girl's girl also you didn't get joe because jo's not into you he's into v more than he is into you sorry yeah it's not like you gave up anything you lost you lost yeah okay

Mm-hmm. Although it looks like later this season, it looks like, does Joe make out with Kathy? Is that what happens? Which makes me sad because I feel like I love Kathy and I don't want her to do that for a multitude of reasons. But I could be wrong. We'll have to wait and see. So, Ash, in the other van, Max is like, I love people and I don't like to create a problem. And yesterday I've been a problem. It's just like, oh, well, Kizzi has fucking dirty tactics and it actually wasn't cool. And then Kizzy's trying to laugh off her behavior And she's like, well, you know, I just got a bit trigger happy. Do you know what I mean? And it was my first at being single. So I was like, whew, you understand Kathy, right? I was feeling a bit stressed, obviously, after last night.

So you understand, right, right, right. And by the way, the real victim is me because it wasn't the nicest thing to hear what you guys were saying across the hot top for me. Well, Kathy didn't say anything about you. And she says as much right now. And Kathy's like, well, I hope you know I didn't say anything bad. And like whatever you heard that you weren't happy with, just talk it out.

And she's like, well, I mean, it was more like, just say it to me. They said it right in front of your face. Should they have broken you apart? Should they have pulled your tongue out of the French guy's mouth to tell you? You were standing right there. You could hear, give me a break. You didn't tell her when he wanted to go bone the guy that you knew she liked. Yeah.

You don't tell him, you know, get out of here. Get out of here. Just communicate it. Yeah. And because he's like, well, it was just, it was just more. like, say it to me, say it to me. And Kathy's like, whatever. It's between you two, okay? And I really don't understand anything you're saying, because I don't speak slut. So Kizzi's like, well, listening to my two co-workers talk about how shit I am. It's not a very nice feeling, although I love that I

got to be center of attention. And Aisha's like, well, I didn't say anything that wasn't true, that I wouldn't say again to Kizzy's face. And I will do that if you give me 10 minutes. And Kizzi's like, well, it's just a shame because I really get on with Asia. So then we go to the other van and H is like, why can't everyone just be fucking a dude? So then we go to the beach club and then we get a scene of what Captain Sandy's doing back at home and she's lying on the couch.

She very slowly settles in on that sofa in the bridge and she's like, oh, there we go. Finally, some privacy. I can lie down on the sofa that I'm always sitting on. God, it's so fun to lie when you sit. Jeez, I've had a whole season pretending to be another. woman, but it's nice to be back in white Capri pants, just chilling on this off.

I wonder what little bear's up to. So back at the beach club, Aisha walks up to kids. He's just, oh, you're all right, then. You're okay. Your energy is very awed. And she's like, well, you were kind of a bitch to me last night. Because you guys were just chatting. Oh, in the hot tub.

Yeah, you guys were just talking about me while I was there. Just say it to me because it was all true and I'd be like, yeah, it's no, it's all true, but to hear it and not be able to say, yeah, you're right. Like, I don't know, I just felt like I couldn't defend myself. Just, well, you were right there. You could have pulled your tongue out of that man's face and said, say it to my damn face, bitches. You could have said it. I'm sorry that you don't like hearing, you know, a reflection of what you're doing back at you. But it's like you were doing the thing they were literally commenting on.

It's like a horse in a race getting upset that there's a commenter. Being like, hey, bada, bida, coming around the bend. It's like, I really didn't like you talking about me while I was coming around the bend. You were coming, Rob was commenting that you were coming around the dundco around the band, you fucking horace. So, I'm sick of these derbies, these derby divas. If anyone wants to come around the bend, it's kizzy. So Aisha, I love when Aisha did this. She goes, oh, I will always say it to your face, but the things I say when you're not there.

And I just want you to know, I love you so much. And I'm so happy that I met you And I have so much fun with you And all those other things are true as well And she says I do like Kizzy But she's not a girl's girl And hopefully she'll reflect

And she'll take something from it Or I'll try and take you all man Oh So everyone's getting drinks And now Max is talking to Kathy's like Oh, Kathy, can I tell you something? I feel a bit bad about yesterday.

I'm so sad. And she's like, well, it's all right. You've got no ties to me. And I don't have any ties to you. It's just that I thought we were going to maybe like hook up or something. And then I was like, wow. I wasn't even there. You could have had all of this, this package of Kathy,

having sex with you with one part of me while another part of me, cleaned your cuticles while another part of me, got the lint off the ceiling while another part of me, re-cocked the bathroom. Do you understand what I'm saying? You could have had Kathy, but instead you went for Dunesbury. So Max is like, oh, I feel stupid about this. You know, like you are the girl that I love your personality.

day, I love who you are. I love that you just clean this table that we're sitting at. Well, you know, listen, let's just have a good time. Thank you for being mature and just speaking to me and I wasn't going to make out with you, but then I realized it would probably make Kizzy feel very bad. So see me in about five minutes. Listen, I wasn't going to make out with you, but I realized that making out with you would be making out with the dream of Kizzy winning something. Open up your mouth, dear. So now there's more partying.

Now Kizzy has moved on to Nathan. They're like having a sexy sunscreen moment, like rubbing it on each other. And they're being very flirty. They're up close and personal. And everyone's being flirty. Kathy's undoing her bathing suits and Max and do her whole back. And they're all like writhing around. And Aisha's just by herself.

Like Aisha's the only one who's voluntarily by herself. Josh is also by himself. But that's because I don't think people realize he's there. And so everyone's just like horny and unethical. and like literally grinding on each other. It literally looked like it was Eric Nees is the grind because they were all just like grinded up on a day club, you know? It reminds me of like nudie magazines back in the day

when we were teenagers and you look in the back and they always had ads for swingers. They would be like swingers in Arizona. Are you a swinger? And then they have like pictures of whoever the swingers were. And I just thought, God, why would you want to go to a party of a whole room of people that nobody wants to fuck? Yeah.

Because those are, and I'm not saying, like, if you're a swinger right now in real life, I'm not talking about you. I just mean specifically the people in those ads were always like, it was like, are you a swinger? And then the pictures were like, oh, I'm not going to that part. Who wants to have sex with any of you? And that's kind of like watching a B cast on below deck all try and make out for airtime. It's so hard because when, like, usually the B casts are better seasons because the focus is a little. little because they because they're B cast they don't like hook up as much or it's not it's not so much the emphasis so the emphasis is really on the work ethic and the and the charter guests but then when

they're all attractive then you have what we had on like below deck last season and then you're like this is so tiresome watching these people like that they're just here to make out with each other so I think I'm going to go for like a homely crew over a hot crew but I do miss the days when you could get a hot crew and it would be about work ethic like that really toxic season of below deck with that super, when you had Ashton and that super hot guy, but they were so awful. So, like, you could enjoy that they were hot, but you could also be, like, enraged by their work ethic. Like, that was the dream back then, right? You didn't even know what we had. Well, below decks always had people, like, everybody's young and horny, right? So it's always

been, like, who were you going to hook up with? And then a couple people end up hooking up a season. Yeah. But now it's become, like, a new Love Island thing where it's a part of the show where everybody has to hook up all the time and it's just it's just try hard it's like auditioning but it's kind of like you're not getting paid enough to be an escort you know what i mean so i feel like you're giving all this away for free and it's just it's just sad you know it used to be like you just had to clean and be a character and now you have to like fully fuck ugly people on screen to get any time and i just i don't know i i just feel bad for them i feel like they need to form a union and be like we're not doing this anymore we don't want to make out

with other homely people on a boat. Yeah. How about we just go back to cleaning? Below deck workers, right. Yeah. What happened to? We just want to work extraordinarily long hours for low pay. Our union is for.

That's what our union stands for. I know they're not even asking for more pay. They're just like, please, don't make me hook up with ugly people for screen time. We've had too many unions. We need a union against the union. If you know what I'm saying, it's a wordplay union. Um, anti-union union union. So now, uh, Captain Sandy is cooking yourself like an omelet or something.

She's like, yeah, that's how you do it. That's what's, that's some good non-stick panning right there. Wow. Love that. Is that a caraway? I got to Asia just, sorry. Is that a caraway? Hey, thanks, caraway.

Thanks for sending Ben and Ronnie some free pans. This caraway looks just like a sunny side egg. That's the color of this caraway pan I got from caraway. Sarahway, thank you so much for these lovely, non-stick, anti-toxic, coated pans. Hey, these are amazing. Bad news. Hey, for some reason, saying ceramic pans set my phone and to turn my phone on, my phone thinks I'm talking to it right now. I just said ceramic pan.

Oh, I see ceramic. The first part of that word is really good. Okay, stop it now. I'm not talking to you. I've got to say, choppy weather out there. We're going to have to take this boat in. No toys on the outside, but toys on the inside. Everyone gets a caraway pan to play with.

Okay. Enjoy yourself. Meanwhile, Aisha's just dancing by herself crazily. She's not just dancing like this. She's like, ah, yeah. She's like in some weird 1992 music video. Just like, there's like left and white left and right sway. You know, I accidentally said left and white sway.

But actually that works too. It's just a left and very white sway. Commercials, here comes one right now. So now Joe and Fee are making, everybody's making out. And Kathy is grinding on Max, and she's like, let's do a sex show. And he wants to kiss her. So they start making out. And she says, I earned this.

And he's like, oh, one of the best days of my life. And Kizzy sees it. And she rolls her eyes. She's like, damn it, now who am I going to make out with those damn puppies? So, and so they were like Josh's, uh, Josh is now talking to Kizzy. And he's like, you were the top shaggar last night. And she's like, I was. I won.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, I might as well get everyone. I mean, look, let's see. I've already gotten Max. I'm going to get Nathan later today. And then tomorrow I'll get Joe. and that'll be absolutely everyone I could make out with. Right?

Josh. Every single penis on the boat. I've made out with Dick, Slick, and Rick, the homely men who we never see, who actually run the boat, the shadow captain. I've made out with the lighting guy, the camera guy.

The guy that we throw the ropes to. The guy that we throw the ropes to on the duck. Provisions person. Provisions. A random person. I've let Norma touch my bum. Yeah. The person who drives the vans.

really, I really can't think of anyone else. So, I guess that's it. Like just sitting there with his tongue out, like, uh, uh, um, so there's more kissing and more kissing and more kissing and more kissing. And, uh, Nathan's like, what the fuck is going on? And, because I guess, uh, Nathan and Kizzy are kissing now. And Kizzy's like, I'm doing this for the women of our nation. I'm like the suffragettes.

I keep, I have, I'm helping women get the rights to the meaningless, snog everyone everyone we've already women have already had that right women you're not making anything up by having a meaningless slog okay meaningless not you know i like it she's already framing it you're a slog yeah it's not even a slut shaming thing listen i'm a gay man i i believe in fucking who you can you know what i mean look when you can i'm an aging gay okay take it where you can get it yeah i'm not passing up a costco sample but you're just I think with Kizzy, it's just sad because she just wants to win something and there's just no winning in this game. Yeah, she's like, she's like entering into smaller and smaller state fairs and like eventually like it's like, how many apple pies can you bring to the to the fair?

So Aisha's like, Asia is like, she's becoming like one of those people they bring on American, onto American Idol just to rip them apart. She's like that person They know they're not talented And they just bring them on She's the person who was on American Idol And then is on X Factor And then is on like GMT presents best singer of Christmas

And you're like it's like worse and worse So Aisha She has like an out of left field read It's not that it's out of left field It just takes a twist that I was not expecting Which again she's I think she's being Kind of savage this episode She's like

Oh look at them Kizzy and Nathan Their tongues are like cave explores Searching for something That they're not quite getting Kizzy's tongue is searching for attention and Nathan's tongue is searching for a way to be a better person. I was like, whoa.

Damn. Damn. Collateral damage. She's always smiling so you never think it's going to come out of her mouth but it's like, whoa, there's another kind of accurate read actually if you think about it. So then everybody's still making out and V. Josh, Max, are sitting together watching people make out

or watching Kizzy and Nathan make out. And Max is like, oh, Nathan is busy. And V's like, are you okay about that? And he's like, oh, I prefer Kathy anyway. You work out, though? Put on. All of the sexual attention is exploding of everyone's faces. And you know what?

I'm not actually mad about it. Of course you're not mad because you get to do your crazy sway dance on the sidewalk over there. I feel like I've never been to a concert for Enigma, but I feel like that's how everyone dances at it. Right? It's like, hey, it's like people from Grand Theft Auto Dancing

like the extras When you go in the club But you have to go In the strip club It's like the retoscoping went awry So Josh is upset You know And he's playing his little guitar

And he's like Why am I still single as fuck Find me and go with a big bum Oh, I guess that's crude This is why you're not getting laid, dude. You're a clown and you're the guy with a guitar who can play two chords and can't rhyme

an improvised song. Just everything about you is unfuckable right now, okay? You just need to rethink your strategy. There's an amazing shot they capture of him just sitting at the edge of the pool and he's next to Nathan and Kizzy making out in the pool and Joe and V making out right next. He's just like

wedged in between these two couples making out and he's just there alone just like, okay, I'm trying not to break. Trying not to break. you're the unfuckable meat in a fuck sandwich you're just like the buffer between two fucking pieces of bread it's so sad but it's your fault put down the guitar cut your hair stop pretending you like yoga and and retreats and just go back to the abusive evil chef that you know you are the chef that like takes someone's head and shoves it down into a hot plate when they fuck with you that's what sexy that's yeah that's that's what all of a sudden they're going to like you

So now Joe and V are having an annoying conversation. Joe's like, it is so cool. And she's like, you're so scared of me, though. I don't want to push you. I know. I want to enjoy this journey. But it's got an expedite date. Like, let's just see how it goes, obviously.

But I'm not looking elsewhere. I'm going to explore this emotion because it's very new for me. Oh, please, I take it slowly. And she's like, oh, God. So wait, wait, wait. No, I have to unpack this. It's got an expiration date. What does that mean?

Because they're only on a boat for a certain amount of time. It doesn't mean it has an expiration date. And then when he says, I'm not looking elsewhere. So you're basically committing to her right now. That's what that means. I want to close it off relationship that you're having. You know, like, we're going to close this. We're going to close it off.

Even though I'm scared. I'm trusting you on the journey. And that's where he goes wrong. Yeah. It is. Yeah, exactly. And I think he really feels like he's being deep right now, which then I think makes him feel like he's being more mature,

which then makes him feel like he's not on the wrong path. And we see this. We see this cycle every single season with these idiots. So he's going to say again. Okay, so he's saying, I haven't felt this way before. And now we get one of the strangest below deck backstores. We get a lot of weird ones on Blow Deck. Like, it's actually one of my favorite traditions when they wedge in a backstory

to explain why someone can't tie a knot. It's like, well, I'm not. I couldn't tie that knot because I get very scared under pressure because when I was young, my mom worked three jobs, so I had to drive the family car and I was six years old. Like, we get shit like that. And it was like very tense time for me. So this one is Joe's backstory about his last real relationship. And I don't seem to remember this story coming up his last season.

He's like, seven years ago, that was my last real relationship. I generally thought, they can marry this woman. You can have kids with this woman, stuff like that. So I moved to Spain. She stayed in Liverpool. And I said, let's see if I can get her life from me. then you can move in with me. I'm like, you're acting like your like fival or something like that.

You're like going off on a on the Titanic to start a better life. And like hoping like you're going to send the money back. It's like, dude, like it's fine. So he's like, I was the real estate. And I sold a house to somebody that was a fraud. And he put a fake deposit on. It bounces back. But in that time, he steals all my furniture.

I'm like, was this Mia? Was this Mia Thornton that you sold it to? Why were you giving the key? to somebody whose deposit didn't go through. What kind of idiot are you? This is fishy. This is all very fishy, okay? And so in that time, he stole all the furniture from the house.

It was Mia Thornton and ink in there, stealing all the furniture. And he's like, but what happened with me? And then we see him, we see a selfie, and this is where the real drama comes in. We see a selfie of him, and it's him chubbier, and he's holding a loaf of bread. Yes. And I think that that explained everything. That explains this whole thing. He used to be chubby and addicted to carms.

And now he's skinnier and he's going to fuck everything and anything that he can. And that's it. He's not going to commit. He used to be chubby and he loved bread. Yeah. That's it. He gave up bread for pute-te-tee and he's going to get the puce-se-say as much as he can. He can say whatever else he wants, but that's all I needed was the picture of him chubby with a loaf of bread.

Yeah. And by the way, we also see a picture of him in his like real estate days. He was like 19 years old. You shouldn't have been doing real estate. You're too young to be doing real estate. Sorry. Also, I mean, like, he also himself looked like a fraud real estate person, just the way he was dressed. He did. That's what's fishy. I think he was the fraud real estate person. I think, I don't even know it was the other person. He's fishy. He's fishy. He did something. So he was, I lost my job. I lost the apartment. I ended up sleeping in me car. And I was like, I'm not worthy for this woman. So I just cut cords. And since that day, I've never had a butterfly feeling for a girl since now. What are you talking about? So you were too embarrassed that you got like ensnared in some fraud ring that you were living in your.

car that you're like, I can't be with the woman I love who could possibly help me in this situation. Come on. Like, nothing about the story makes any sense. And like, that still shouldn't get, that shouldn't still get in the way of you falling in love with someone. Like, it's normally that someone breaks up with you and dumps you and you're so wounded that you can't open your heart for someone else. It's not that you dump someone else and therefore you can't open your heart because you were too ashamed because of some fraud that you stepped into. I get nothing. Yeah, he's like, I'm fraud. from the girl I dumped.

No, it's 100% what you said. It's like, oh, I used to be chubby. I used to love bread. I got into really good shape. I have muscles now and I want to fuck around because I never had this moment before my life. Yeah, I'll settle down when I'm bald. You know, is what he's saying.

So he's like, I only go into a relationship. And she goes, um, it's been like seven years, dude. And he goes, but I need to be with someone that is capable to meet me mom. And oh, God, another fuck boy thing. Only cares about my mom's feelings. Okay. sheet that I've got about and she goes, oh, you've got walls? And he's like, yeah.

God, every fuck, it's like the greatest fuck boy hits. It's like one of those like great CDs you buy at the end of a 90s show where they list like a hundred songs. Now, that's what I call fuck boy. So she's like, oh, she gives me similarities of my ex. Like it could be a potential serious relationship, but it's actually really scary to me. So I'm trying to manage it. Okay, so what he's saying here is she reminds me of my ex who I was never good enough for. So what he's going to do is fuck this girl and then he's going to fuck her over and say,

I knew I could never be good enough for you. And that's why I did this. I'm just a bad person. I warned you in the beginning. That's 100% right. So exhausting these guys. Oh my God. Whatever happened to good old school fuck boys who just fucked you, left you and didn't apologize.

I mean, I'd rather that than have to listen to you fake cry for. weeks. I know. The new fuck boy is just so exhausting to come. The worst thing we ever did was send a fuck boy to therapy where they could learn how to speak therapy speak and tell women exactly what they want to hear, you know, which is, oh, I'm hurting inside and I'm traumatized. And if I did anything wrong, it's because I'm feelings and I have trauma. And they're like, oh my God. And they start crying and then fuck them again. Yeah. You know, therapy has unleashed an unstoppable brand of fuck boy onto this world and we need to stop letting them into therapy an unstoppable brand um so v i like v's way of of of using therapy talks because well i have balls too but i came on board and i was like oh

whatever she's like yeah who cares so now nathan is still making out with kizzing the pool and um max's they're just all making out it's all it's all the usual stuff and partying and fun and yada yada and nathan's like to joe and he's asking like he's like what's the cross with you and we and v you and v are vibe and he's like we are mate we are she has walls i have walls we're taking it's low skin ex predate and i got into fraud once oh it's so emotional it's like yeah she has got walls i've got walls it's almost like we're building a home which the deposit has been taken back on and now the furniture is missing and i'm not good enough for her fuck me did it fuck me now too many walls have come in between us too many

was, I'm a bit. He's a big Happy Dennis fan. So, Nathan's like, be open to it, bro, because it's special.

It's special for you. And he's like, bro, I told her there's an expiry. How does he say it? Bro, I told her there's some expiry. Get out of here.

So, okay, so you just opened up to her and told her that you wanted to commit her, commit to her and have no one else. But hey,

I warned her there's an expiration date. So fuck her. I mean, I actually, that's the thing that I object to the least amount. It's at least saying, hey, just so you know, I'm not planning on doing this much longer than this season. And then we're off to something. Like, I like at least setting an end expectation. It's like the one honest thing that he did. But.

Well, before he told her, he wanted to commit to her and not go for anything else. You see what he does? He does the both things. Well, it's like a short-term loan. It's a commitment for only a certain amount of time. Yeah. So they, so now Joe's like, reminds me of me ex.

Like, you gotta stop talking about your ex. Okay, you just got it. This is already dangerous. But he may also use that as an excuse later. Excus later. He'll be like, oh my goodness, I can't help but see things. I see things in her, things in her that I saw my ex, things I didn't like in me X, and I'm seeing them again.

I don't know if I can get past it. So he may turn that against her as well. I'm living in my car all over again. There's no bathroom for me ex. Oh no. I just said a headline that there's a Airbnb. somewhere in Atlanta that has no furniture. I can't deal with this anymore.

So now Kizzy and V are talking about kissing Nathan. And Kizzy's like, why not? It's for women everywhere, am I right? And then it's time to leave and head home. And so now everybody's tired. People are sleeping in the van and stuff. And in the other van, people are telling Nathan he burnt himself, you know, and Aisha's texting Scott.

She's like, oh, miss you, Sam. And then Josh and Nathan are talking. And Josh is like, how are you feeling, man? Nathan's like, I'm feeling good. But you know, like I sing all that shit. I'm getting all the same time from the captain. And like, it's just a lot. He's like, oh, it's been on your mind a bit.

He's like, yeah, it's coming on me shoulders. I'm just a wee bit, we relax a weed too much. I mean, thank God I got to make out with Kizzy today. I mean, thank God we all got to make out with someone, right? I mean, it was just such a relief. Even Huey Dewey and Louie on the boat got to make out with some people. Wasn't it so nice to finally put a tongue against someone else's tongue, Josh? He's like, I don't know.

Mare, mear, me, yeah. I think I saw you making out over there. It was a guitar, was it? Was there a red balloon you were making out with? I saw you sticking your penis into what, it was a tiny balloon or a tiny horn, was it? Tiny tiny little horn with a... at the end of it. So,

it should call Scott and, you know, it sounds like how you'd think it would. It sounds like a siren is broken outside. Yeah, seriously. She just tells them it was fun. And then now people are doing things.

And Kizzi is now an Aisha's cabman. She's like, really fucking funny. I feel like at one point I had all the boys on a string. I could have had any of them. And now my only other option is Nathan. I don't want him. I just want to snog. Only boy left is Nathan. Oh,

what a shame. No other men but Nathan. So now we go to Joe and Nathan's cabin and they're talking about Kizzy. And Nathan's like, oh my God, what the fuck's going on with me in Kizzy Hey? He's like, I'm not mad into it. I mean, fuck, I just, I miss Gail. But I was thinking about her before.

I joined the board and no, I fucking misbehaved. You know, what do you reckon? Well, yeah. I mean, you got, I kept like you missed your supermodel, uh, uh, X. Poor Kizzy, though, where she really does have a track record of making out with the guy. And then they're like, oh, yeah, you know what you made me realize? I really like that other girl better. I also don't think that Nathan should feel bad.

If they were, if they were on a break, I think it's okay that he like, his, Kizzy in the pool, honestly. Well, I think he was trying to win back, Gail. Well, I think that... Or maybe the break wasn't real. Maybe he was like an artificial break for the show. Yeah, maybe, because he's still calling Gail. I mean, if he's...

That's true. If he's trying to win Gail back and he's still calling her from the boat to get emotional support and stuff like that, then, I mean, it's not great for your track record. But hey, she's having your baby now, so I guess that worked out. He also changed his hair. He cut his hair. I don't know if you saw that. It didn't help.

It actually made it look worse that. It made it look like he looks more like Luke the sexual assaulter from Blow Deck Down Under. I was like, no, how did that happen? I think Nathan's actually so cute. What a weird call. Yeah, I'm sorry. I think Nathan is so cute.

And I know like that he sort of does have that like friar tuck thing going on. But like he can't help that. I don't know. I feel like I kind of like his haircut that he has now. I don't know. He's so cute. You know, Nathan is cute. And Nathan is a sweet guy. He's like all my favorites, actually. I'm almost, I'm pretty resentful, actually, of Bravo for making me not like Nathan this season because of the way that they did the trailers.

Oh. By making it look like he was with Gail, then he cheated on Gail. And then we found out that he's not with Gail. He's on a break. So it's fine for him to do whatever. But because I already had that in my head, I just think of him as a cheater and a shithead. And I don't like him. You don't have to say.

And I know it's not rational, but I just don't, I'm like, you don't deserve this job. You're not good enough to have this job, which I actually do believe. I believe that they promoted him for TV and not for any real reasons. But, you know, it's not really fair. He didn't do anything wrong. I have to say, I really enjoy Nathan. I think that Nathan may be like one of the best bosons they've ever had. Not in terms of like skill.

What? Not skill. Not skill. Not skill. Just in terms of likeability. You know, a lot of times the bosons are like on power trips and they're awful and they are condescending. or they're just, but like, I think that he's like, he's such a sweet guy, and I feel like, I feel like he will be a good bosun at one point, but like he is kind of flailing all over the

place right now. But I just, there's something very likable about him. I really like him a lot. And I feel like we don't always talk about who we really like. I mean, what are the other bosons that we've had? I mean, they're all, it's like Eddie. Oh, God, that's not even. It's just going to end up in a fountain of rage. Yeah. Ashley, even, why even go there? Ashen had a good first season, uh, because he almost died. And then when he, he was boson he just went down hill oh then he went just he got just terrible here just terrible terrible you know the only the only bosen i can remember being truly likable and just lovely and i think the audience completely loved them um was molya jk okay so nathan's like well with kzy

it wasn't anything romantic it was just you know i was trying to avoid reality you know because i've been i've been up to me fucking eyeballs and worked and shit this season and i just like like, I don't know, just thinking about how much I miss Gail. You know, everything about life has just spinning around in my head. And I don't even know where I stand anymore. So I'd like to thank Kizzy for being another man that realized after kissing Kizzy that he wanted anything else but Kizzy. It's the next morning, time to wake up. Time for another chart.

It's like it sort of feels like the episode's over. But it's like, oh, that's right. There's a whole literal second half. So everyone wakes up and everyone's like cleaning and there's some hugging, et cetera. And Captain Sandy's like, hey, had the evening goal. Was it good? You guys have a fun time. Guess what I did?

I laid down on that couch. Real comfortable, good back support. Just want to let you know. But anyway, have a great day, everyone. Guess what I did. I watched a whole season of a show. Guess what it was called? Little rascals.

Just kidding. It was called wind. Hey, by the way, make sure this boat's in prestigious. condition. By this time tomorrow morning, if this boat's not in pristine condition, you will never be able to have a child, child. Sorry, I also watched into the woods, so I was just really into which ultimatums. So, Isha's like, well, for this charter, we're going to switch you guys this time. How fun is that? I think it'd be good to take turn. So Kizzy, can you please step into laundry this morning.

It's the only place there's no one to stick your tongue into. Right. Then please don't think about using the lint trap because that's very dangerous for your tongue, so no. And, um, uh, because he tells us, between Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding, I think I sympathize more with Tanya because she worked so hard and had it rough. I mean...

Shocker. I know, what a shock. She's a Tanya Harding fan. No fucking kidding. God, I could have predicted that shit. Yeah. Crazy. I mean, fucking breaking someone's knees probably isn't the best way to go about it.

And just to be clear, I'm not going to hire someone to club Kathy's knees. Maybe a big toe. Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, he. But you are trying to. You are trying to club knees and hurt feelings and get, you know, make those little maneuvers. And just like Tanya Harding, you're still losing, stupid. Keep trying. God, don't you feel so lucky that we're.

we lived through that. What a great stupid scandal. That was so good. That was such a good scandal because Nancy Kerrigan was like this perfect little angel and she was so talented. And Tanya Harding was like this rough and tumble girl who's like, fuck that girl. So she got her boyfriend Jeff Galooly to go tap her in the knees. And then she took her down. And then everyone's like, oh my God, fuck Tanya Harding. What a bitch. And she became this huge national villain. And then Nancy Kerrigan won the gold medal. So she got to go to Disneyland. She won the silver because Oksana by Yule came out of nowhere and won gold, remember? And then she drove off a road somewhere because she was like drunk driving, you know, which is a fun little thing.

Yeah, so she got some medal. So she was a hero because she got beat up or capped in the knees. And so they invited her to Disneyland to be on a float. Do you remember? Oh, yeah. And then she went on the float and everyone's like, oh, my God, it's Nancy Carrigan, oh, my God. She got caught, some lip reader caught her saying something like, oh God, fuck all these people.

I fucking hate this. Get me out this fucking thing. And then Nancy Kerrigan became a national villain. And so they both ended up losing in the end. And also like Nancy Kerrigan getting clubbed going, why, why me? But also like the fact that it like climaxed on a global stage at the Olympics, like that could not have been any more perfect. The only thing that sucked about it was that it took place in Norway. And so it was like, like, it wasn't like live on TV for us here in America.

And so it was like we like by like 4 p.m. Or like by 3 p.m. Like news had already come out like Nancy Garrigan wins the silver medal. Like, oh, you spoiled it. Like it was such an exciting thing. And then Tanya, remember she like went out there and then like her laces were too tight. So she like went over to the judges and put her foot up on the judge's thing. And she just starts crying like, it's too tight.

It's too tight. Let me do it over. It was just so crazy. It was like literally one of the crazy. craziest things. And then like, it was then like three months later we got OJ. Like, what a great span. What a great span for us. Yeah, those were crazy times. Wow. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap if you're like hey wait a minute i didn't hear part one guys it's because we put out a lot of recaps go back and listen to part one okay it's before this one bye enjoy the show watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king it's always a party on alison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands together for carly clap Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call.

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