Watch What Crappens - #3118 Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Contessa throws herself a party on Married To Medicine, and then gets mad when Brandi’s husband pays for dinner.  And on an episode about opening the wallet, Dr. Simone’s kids learn the hard way what happens when they ask for too much.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, when you want to be a crappins Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappins? Hello and welcome to watch what crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi, how are you, buddy? I am fabuloso. Today we are talking some married to medicine.

If you listen to this in time, be sure to join us for Amazon Live at 4 o'clock on the West Coast, 7 o'clock on the East Coast. And then tonight, the last crappy hour of the year. And it's a big one because we have a special guest, Alison Roman, Cookbook and Presario. She is joining us on Crappy Hour. So please come join us while she joins us. And that's going to be at 5.30 on the West Coast or 830 on the East Coast live on YouTube and Patreon and Instagram. it's all going to happen simultaneously so join us um and we're really excited for all of that plus also join us on patreon where we have uh weekly bonus episodes and we do crap is on demand we can

watch these videos a week before they go on to youtube so uh all that fun stuff patreon.com slash watch what grapins and today is married to medicine are you ready to dive into it ronnie i sure am let's do her buddy so this episode is called the players ball it's about parties it's about i got worried i have to say i got worried halfway through because we spent 15 minutes at contesta's party where nothing was happening and i was like oh no married to medicine is falling in falling into some bad patterns but then it sort of like pulled out the plane like lifted its nose and went back up into the sky and we had a really good episode but for a moment there I was like okay we're spending five minutes watching people arrive at the party and they all get funny little names and now we're

spending another five minutes watching everyone comment on everyone's outfits at the party and then talking about what was like in the 70s I was like why are we still at this party nothing is happening but but the episode is actually a really good one despite all that never trust a party thrown in like a Marriott meeting room, like a conference. I know. That was weird. The whole thing. I was like, oh my God, this huge budget party, welcome to the, you know,

best Western Inn conference room. It was such a strange thing. She spent so much money on this elaborate balloon wall, which looked great, but then the whole thing was like blatantly some business hotel

conference room. Like there was the carpeting. You could see those walls. There was like, it just, nothing looked good. It didn't look like. It wasn't like immersive. Like, why are you not at a club or something like that? It was such a strange choice for a party. Yeah.

So we start off with Heavenly. And Heavenly is reminding us that no matter what you might have heard lately, her son doesn't talk to her, et cetera. She is a good parent. And she's talking in her baby voice. And she's talking to her son. And she's like, am I going to get some grandkids baby? I'm going to get some grandkids?

And he's like, well, to be honest with you, Mama, I don't want to get this the wrong way, but I don't want like a lot of girls. She's like, no, get one good one like your mama. Just get a good one like your mama. No, it takes a one girl. Want to get girls all you need. That's all you need.

He's like, no, but what I'm trying to say is I don't really like a lot of girls. I don't want to hear any more of what you're trying to say. Just get one girl and give me a grandson. Thank you very much. You're not going to come out. While I am running for office on a most likely very conservative platform. Do you understand me?

And then we have Simone asking a patient if she's taking her iron tablets. And then we have Brandy doing some stuff with lips and everything in her cosmetic urology practice. She's like, wrong lips. Wrong lips. I came to the urology department. I still don't understand the connection to urology, but I will accept it. She's leaving with Lala mouth on her vagina. She's like, wait a minute.

What did you people do to me? So then we go to Contessa, who's dressed, you know, in 70s garb, and she's meeting up a Toya, which is so funny because these two used to hate each other. And Contessa's like, do you like it? Do you like my look? You know, we're like, we're 70s babies, baby. We're 70s. And Toya's like, yeah, we are, but we're not going to tell anybody.

And Toya, by the way, gives Contessa the stink eye through this entire scene. And I'm like, Contessa, you realize that Toya is not really on your side for this, right? She's going to come here. She literally hates your gut still. And so good luck with this. Toya is only being friends with you so you can yell at heavenly for her. And if you're not going to do that, she's got very little patience for you. I can tell you right now.

Also, it's funny that Contessa is showing up in her 70s garb for this, but she won't show up to 70s garb for her party, which is 70s themed. So I don't know. I don't know if she just got one. Amazon outfit that she, it's like it was used up or what, but damn. Also, like, I think also, I think we're all entitled to throw ourselves a really nice party, especially for like a milestone birthday. It's just really hard to start this episode with her planning this massive party for herself on the heels of last week when she was like, I emptied out all of our savings.

I cashed out all of our stock options, our furrow one K just to get this building up. It's like, so I'm like, what do you want me to feel for you right now? What are the emotions you need me to feel? because last week you wanted me to feel sympathy for you for not having any money left. And then this week you want me to be like, yes, spend that $40,000 on your birthday party. Yeah, it's a lot of money to spend, you know, but hey, I mean, it's housewives also. So maybe it didn't really cost that much. And she's just saying that.

Yeah. Because, I mean, Marriott. Yep, Marriott. So I don't know. So she's like, well, I want to do a purple carpet or a red carpet. And Tori is like, back of the day, they did do a carpet. they did a sole trade line. And she's like, well, but, you know, at the Players Ball, they had a carpet baby, okay?

Look at the space. It's so beautiful. God, just imagine someone talking about advertising revenue over there. Someone's showing a pie chart over there. A free coffee bar. Possibly some croissants, maybe powdered eggs in the morning that are free if you're staying here. Well, you know, the Players Ball refers to an annual flashy gathering of pimps, according to Google AI. as many people probably already know this,

originating in Chicago in 1974. And what few people realize is that this gathering of pimps often happened in a Marriott conference room. I know about the Players Ball because I have seen the musical The Life. Oh. They all went to the Players Ball.

And I loved it. It was Lilius White at her best. Well, Lillius White. For the oldest profession. She was a tired, tired ho in that one. And that was the best son. She's great. So, Kadasa is saying that, you know, she's like, okay.

So she's saying hi to the party planner. And she's like, I'm a 70s baby. So I really want to do a 70s party. So I chose the theme, players ball, because I want it to be a lot of activities. I want people to come in in their 70s best, their furs and their suits and their amazing clothes. And let's just have a good time. That's really what it's all about. And if they want to throw a PowerPoint up on the screen, I'm not going to stop them.

So she says this is going to be like the movie Casino, because that was in the 70s. Didn't end well, for those of you haven't seen it. And, you know, so she just wants to have fun. As I said, in my invitation, roll that beautiful bean footage. And so we see it. And she has an invitation that's like, hey, baby, you're going to come to the players ball. And then they open a box and it shoots that paper money at you all over your floor. I did not see him bend down to sweep up your floor on the way out.

So I would not be happy with this invitation. It's like someone sends you a gift, but it's in like a whole thing of confetti. And then there's confetti all over your kitchen. And then you finally get down to it. And it's like a Snickers bar. Like really? Now I have to clean my kitchen, you cheap fuck. Yeah.

It's like those boxes that open up the fake butterflies that come flying out. It's like, oh, that's fun. you startled me and now I've got to clean up your invitation somehow littered. Yeah. So now a murder as well. Thanks. So Contessa's like, thanks for the butterfly genocide in my kitchen.

So Contessa is like, this is going to be my first birthday party ever. And Toya's like, are you throw it for yourself? Yes, I waited almost 50 years to throw myself a party or have someone throw me a party and just never happened. Well,

I don't know if I should be sad or happy for you. I'm going to choose. sad that's more fun for me i'm good to talk about all the part the rest of the episode i'm gonna hit that eugene has thrown me really big parties has he have we seen eugene throw yeah really big parties have we i mean i guess we i mean i i feel like we have i feel like there was some like greek gods and goddess party that they had in one of their recent houses or and he did it okay i think so i think so i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think is pretty good with this sort of stuff.

So Contessa's like, what I'm thinking is we have a super long runway in the dance floor over there. And then we could also, where are we going to set up the coffee machines? If anyone wants to have like a little bit of a coffee break or buy the water coolers, what, like, what are we going to do here? So they're going to have like, you know, this is party planning. Balloon wall, four decades of life, presentation carpets, buffet. Yeah, so she gives them 40 grand. And Tori's like, what? That's too budget?

She goes, that's too little. do you think she's like that's too high and she's like yeah uh contestant needs to finish off that office how about that do that she's like we're supposed to have an office in your office so put your money towards that and i agree like this is a lot of money for such an uninspired space that like and also she like spent all her money clearly on that balloon wall because she was not able to mask the conference room of it all by putting up curtains or even some mylar or anything i mean a junior prom can make can make a little space look better than this one yeah so She's like, it's my party.

I don't have to answer to you. And Torres, like, well, I think this is great, but I don't want to have drama at your party. So I think it should be positive energy, okay, which is why you're doing it in the conference room with phones that are still on courts, I guess. She's like, yes, it's so 70s. It's so players ball. So casino. So, yeah, so she's saying, contest is saying that they, you know, people wearing 70s outfits are going to make, make the party have lots of positive energy. And Toya's like, that's not true.

She was like, no, well, you have very low expectations of others. She goes, what friends are you talking about? Okay, because you're not inviting an accountant group. Okay, because they're not going to bring positive energy. It's like, I'm inviting everybody, but Toya does not like that Heavenly is invited. And she's like, last time I saw Heavenly, she was crazy, okay? And I hope her energy is good because that energy was stanked the other day. Yeah, but you were also starting with her.

I love that Toy is always like, I don't understand why Heavenly was so mad. me like she comes in full guns ablaze in the first time she sees her anyway nobody wants a peaceful heavenly okay no one does yeah yeah so cadessa's like well i would like to think that our group can put all their differences aside to celebrate me for the one time in my life i've asked them to do that no resting bitch faces like you're on bravo no one understands the concept of putting aside their issues to celebrate someone on the cast especially not you contessa and contessa is also one of those people who's like the one time I throw myself a party

I've never done this before like oh gosh so she has that extra thing of like just poor me I've never had a party before me Contessa never had a party you've never had a party why don't I believe Contessa's story I know it's not even that big of a deal I don't doubt that her husband has never thrown

her a party but I just feel like is that true that you've never had a birthday party I do not believe you. Sounds curious I also always after all these years I always get the sense that no one on the cast actually enjoys Contessa. I feel like they tolerate her and they respect her as a professional. But

like given like if there were no show, none of them would ever deal with her or talk with her. I feel like they just are like, oh, it's Contessa. I don't think so. And I think that they're so bored with her this year that because Contessa came back this year with a very positive energy. Was she on

she was on last year? She was on last year. Yeah. So I mean, I watched the whole thing, but like, and that was an honest question. I really don't remember her there. But anyway, She comes back, and so they gave her her grace year of coming back where they didn't really come for her too much. And she was very positive about her whole relationship because she's spent so much time on the show being negative about her relationship. So this time she's like, I love Scott. Everything's great with Scott, not bitching about Scott.

I do not want this to be about me and Scott. And they're not going to let her have that. They're like, okay, you're boring us. You've given us nothing. We're going to make you fight about your relationship status from four years ago. Okay. Bucking up. Yep.

I just had a flashback to when they went to the Caribbean once and like, was it that, was it, Contessa was a toy, it's Toya where like Toya saw a dead crap on the sidewalk and like lost her mind. Remember that? Oh, good. Oh, good time. Oh, that's bad. Um, so, yeah, Contessa is like hoping people can put aside their drama to celebrate her.

And so I was like, yeah, that, yeah, I hope they could do that too. And Contessa's like, don't come in critiquing everything. She's like, yeah, just come in here to have a good time. It's going to be so fun. fun. You just, you know, you just gave me a moment where I just thought back to like, wasn't everybody high back then in the 70s? Was everyone high? Can we get high before we come in here? I think that's the only way we could enjoy being in this conference room. Yeah. So now we go over to Quad's house. And Quad is still very happy in her relationship. And I just see things that she's happy about right now in about five years that are not going to be fun anymore. Like this scene where she's like, so, baby, are you getting something to eat? And he's like, We see him sitting down with food And she's like, as long as you don't eat my food He's like, I don't eat your food

She goes, oh, but you do What do you have to say about that? And he's like nothing. She goes, really? Why? Because you eat my food? And he's sitting there with a whole plate of like fish and rice And she's like, you're eating my leftovers And she says, this is the thing with leftovers Don't assume that there's one refrigerator And this is my girl and everything is ours. I'm eating leftovers.

That's what I'm going to eat. What am I going to eat now? And he's just sitting there. with his leftover it's like fuck with me then tell me i can't eat this tell me yeah he's like guess what i have a healthy appetite you want it 15 times a day feed me feed me quad more and quad's like well he just shut my mouth up um it i had that same thought which is like she's laughing off everything in a moment they have to talk about like a bad breath situation and in five years it'll be like he eats all the leftovers and leaves nothing behind what am i chopped liver i know i'm not even chop liver because need that too. He comes in smelling like a garbage disposal and expects me to love him.

Can't wait. I can't wait till it burns because right now she's like, oh my God, I love this. Maybe we'll get married. Maybe we'll have a baby. And then we start talking about the baby. And she's taking hormone shots every day because that's no easy feat getting prepped for this. It's crazy. And she has to give her shots, I think, a couple times a day. And he's like, well, you're going to take a shot. Well, I think you need to just take your shot because your hormones are already like crazy. And she goes, oh, does the shot make me have mood swings and rage? And he's like, yes. She goes, not rage.

I find myself crying a lot. That's not me being enraged. It's me wondering, where did my fish and rice dish from yesterday go? King and I are trying to get pregnant. And we have a friend who basically got pregnant at 46th with triplets. And I said, wait a minute. where's the doctor and she was like oh the doctor's in Ghana and when I heard that I just felt like that's where I need to be so basically she's doing all this um this in vitro in Ghana but she's

having Jackie sort of do her labs and stuff stateside which that sounds very intense to me but you know what live your life yeah I mean I think they do it the same anywhere right is there like some special trick they use in Ghana like I don't know what do they do differently spiritual connection I don't know but I heard someone in Ghana had triplets take me to Ghana well I mean a lot happened in other places like I don't know I'd stay home personally I was I was just like that just maybe she's just like really aiming to hit status on an airline I'm like that just seems like unless I'm massively uninformed, which I will

I'm going to give a 75% chance that I am. I just feel like that's a really far way to go. But I understand spiritual connection. I've just always wanted a literary child, and I'm going to have a garner girl. That's so stupid. He's like, I

spent my whole life trying to dodge this bullet. It's not a bullet. It's a blessing. It's a blessing in the shape of a bullet. No, it's a, it's just a straight-up blessing that has no perceivable shape. You ever played Super Mario Brothers? Of course, I've played Super Mario Brothers. You ever see the Bulls? And they are blessings coming for Mario.

What is your issue? Next, you're going to try to eat the plant-eating plant. That was my plant-eating plant. So he's like, okay, just get your shot going so I can get ready for the next 24 hours of hell. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. She's not going to love this smart ass. And I'm telling you.

Yeah. In five years, she's going to be going crazy with this attitude. She's not going to like it. Is this also kind of regressive, too? It's like, well, ladies, PMSing, watch out. Ladies and their hormones can't control them. I love when, I love when guys do this whole narrative as if, like, guys are the most level-headed people on Earth.

I'm like, hello. Does anyone want to look at any of the wars that are around the world? As you eat my leftovers. You're like, why are women so angry as he eats the fucking leftovers in her house? Yeah. Yeah, but this is married to medicine, and that's how they roll on this show. They're like, well, you know how women are. You get a bunch of women in a room together.

You better duck and cover, buddy. Yeah. So, Quad is saying, by the way. Right. No, I get it. Everyone hide in my basement bar. So Quad is talking about the process and that's like exhausting. But despite all the side effects, it'll be worth it to be a mom, which is interesting because when the show began, like, she did not want to be a mom.

But she was also mentioned to Dr. Gregory and I don't know if I would want to. Well, you want a little Dr. Gregory running around or a doctor or a little whatever this guy's name is. Yeah, this guy. Definitely. I want this guy. He's going to come out with like a full, you know, six-pack. this baby i know it'd be like like have like a smoky voice like hey mama like some milk you're like whoa yeah baby doctor dr gregg's baby would be like i'm a baby man i'm a baby man

i'm a baby man so king is like well if we get the results that we were seeking it's definitely it would be worth it if not i could have bought another car Okay, great. So then Quad is doing the needle thing and she's like, I don't, I'm not scared of needles. I just don't like other people doing it. Now let me smell your breath. It smells like fish. Go brush your teeth for real. And he's like, well, you got a problem. You're projecting it on me. You better stop. Is he saying that she has the bad breath? Yeah, you've got a problem and you're breathing it all over me. Brush your teeth, king. you just had all that fish brush the fish away I wonder if Quad takes it as a sign when she's driving along happy in her relationship

trying to have babies with this guy and she passes signs everywhere that says no king is it like Brittany like seeing that sign where it's just like don't do it Britney she's like how dare you

how dare you but then it ended up being correct in the end I think that quad is stigmatized. That's what I'm assuming. But I don't have to- And I haven't even seen his dick, but I really like him.

I'm just prepared for her to hate her because- I know. I actually have no problem with the king whatsoever. He seems all right. He's like, and I like that he went after Dr. Gregory. I love that he basically stood up for quad with Dr. Gregory because Dr. Gregory is such a little twerp.

So now we go to Brandy meeting up with contestants. It's right before the party. And Brandy has like her party makeup on, but she's still like in her regular clothes. And Brandy is like, hey, happy birthday. Because they're both, like, arriving at the hotel. And she's like, oh, my God. Like, how's it going?

And Contessa is saying, because Contessa is already in her outfit. She's like, I said, let me get myself into like, into my party mode. And then the universe will feel it. Like, yes, yes. I love it. Oh, my God. You're fabulous. We're going.

It's like very much like, we are friends. And I'm here to support you for your party. And I'm highlighting this because it doesn't seem to go the other way around later on on the episode. Yeah. And Contessa's like, isn't this amazing? Look at, there's a record and it has my name on it. What? What? I'm 50 years old. I've never had a record with my name on it before. Oh, it's so great to have my name on a current piece of media. So Contessa says, you know, it would be so great if Scott was like, what can I do to help? It just doesn't connect for him in that way. He's a smart guy. He's just, he's book smart. He doesn't have any comment. He doesn't

have any common sense or seem to love me. I'm just saying, so Condessa says, can I give you one piece of advice, Brandy? How long have you been married? She's like 10 years. Okay, don't ever say I got this because like, no, you don't have to. That's too much because once you do that, you're kind of like, oh, okay. Brandy's like, I'm not sure exactly. I know what you're talking about, but. Yeah, she's saying, I never say I got this because you're creating a monster who will never do anything for you. And so she's like, okay, well, step up your underwear because they say panties for girls. So step it up in your underwear. If you talk to Scott, basically, she's saying. So Brandy's like, oh, yeah, I'll talk to Scott for you. I'll talk to Scott. So Contessa's kind of

setting it up with the girls and us in the beginning of this episode. Like, yeah, I threw my own party, but I mean, Scott's not going to do it. I mean, sure, I would have loved for him to do it. He's just not really that kind of a guy. God, wouldn't this be nice if my husband helped me? Let me tell you something don't ever tell your husband he doesn't have to do anything for you because he won't and then later when they're like why doesn't your husband do anything for you she's like how dare you how dare you i know so contessa does kind of set herself up for this all the time yeah i got a little distracted because i heard a very loud bird and i was wondering if that bird on the other side of my window or it's on the other side of ronnie's window and i literally got lost in that thought about where is the

bird. And then I start to realize, well, that's a typical cadessa scene. You start thinking about birds instead. Yeah. Well, you know, you would have known it would have been in my house because I would have been like, it's a bird. Oh my God. I'm going to take a picture. Let me try and stream the bird right now, everybody. Birds never do anything for Katessa. So now Mimi and Angel are getting ready. And Mimi is like, are you excited about the party? And Angel's like, I am, but I don't know what to expect. And Mimi's like, well, just expect the unexpected. Because of big brother, right? And Angel's like, well, did you grow up in the 70s? She's like, what? No, how dare you shame me like that? I am from the early 2000s. I was born.

So, uh, then Jackie and Heavenly are getting ready. And Heavenly's like, Okay, so you got your bellbells on? Do you have your bell bottoms on? I'm just like my bitch voice because I'm just going to be a fun, sweet lady running for her office right now, but on your bell bottoms. I have got my bell bottoms on, honey. Boom, boom, boom. Well, let me see the shoes Can I see the shoes? It looks like we're back in the 70s, right? No, no, no, no, not Jimmy Chew.

Why you do a Jimmy Chew? No, it doesn't look like that. I really like the way people dressed in the 70s. I think they should bring that back, the platform shoes, the makeup, the Afrocenticity of it all. And so Jackie's like, well, I was young in the 70s, but I do recall it was free love, honey. very free sexually back in the day but so was herpes and chlamydia hepatitis so we paid for that freedom

like jackie can we keep anything nice can we just have a nice party jack i know jackie's like um let me just make sure all my patients feel shame when they come in if they've come back to any these diseases you know what i love stigma so heavenly heavenly is like oh i got a waist trainer just in case, me, oh, I need that. What are you gonna do? And Jackie's like, that's cute. Why are you speaking in such a high-pitch voice? Me? I'm not speaking in a person. I don't even understand what you're saying right now.

So then we go to the party, and I knew you were going to have a problem with this episode when this shit started. When they started doing the and I actually was I held space for it because it's like they show up. And like, they're Steve. You silky He's Steve Supreme and Mimi, Lady Sugs Supreme.

I'm like, okay, they're going to do the names. I was like, you know what? Just be chill with it, Ben. Rather than like, just enjoy it, let it lap over you like a wave. The waves lap. Something, just let it cascade over you. And so I was like, okay, this is fine. But I'm like, wow, this is a big cast and they all have husbands.

So this went on for a long time. I'm like, okay. So when we finally get through it, I was like, okay, we got through it. 2025, Ben is not going to get himself annoyed about things that don't have to be annoyed, just enjoy it, enjoy the typeface, enjoy the consideration that the post department put into the fonts and the colors and everything. But then comes the, remember the 70s segment? I was like, oh, my God, now we got to listen to everyone talk about the 70s. Oh, my God. Yeah, so they do that.

And everybody comes and they get their names and quad is quadrophonic. and Toria is talking to Simone And of course, Damon arrives not dressed up. He makes zero effort. I mean, if we're going to talk about a husband who makes zero effort, is that one. I mean, my God, man. Come on. Couldn't even get a wig.

I literally, when I was watching it, I just rolled my eyes. I got, Daddy. And then I thought, wow, I just had Daddy to the TV. So then he's like, at least he didn't wear his scrubs. I'm surprised he didn't and be like, I'm a doctor, a doctor from the 70s. unfortunately the invitation says we don't want no scrubs so toya was like well i spoke to katasa do you know how much she spent 40 grand 40 grand which is funny toya of all people who like just will burn money in like you know in an uni oven just because she can is now shaming someone

who's on her 12th house in 12 years is like can you believe it and simone's like that is a lot if this is the first time she's throwing a party. She's like, well, everybody's saying that because just because it's your first party, you got to spend 40 grand. I'm not spending 40 grand with my son's about to graduate two, three years. No, we need two green eggs, two, to every appliance we need two of. But not a party, no. So Simone basically says that she spent $5,000 on the graduation party for Miles and Michael.

And she says, the most Simone. has spent on a party is $5,000. Miles and Michael's graduation, and we don't need any damn balloons. We don't need a step and repeat. We don't need a photographer. We don't need any of that. I like that this shows kind of anti-housewives in a way. It's like they're bragging about how much money they didn't spend on a party.

I know. Well, it's like you have the professionals who are like, we are not doing that. Although Contessa is a professional. It's just sort of like you have Toya who is like of the housewives world. And then you have Simone who is like of the pragmatic world, Simone and Jackie. And like they come together like, what are you thinking? Although in this case they are aligned. It's like toy well, Toya is not normally going to be the one to shame someone for spending $40,000.

But she will shame Contessa because she probably has heard it 10 times more than we have about how much Contessa has no money and how the building that they bought is taking forever to do. Yeah, it seems like a pretty petty thing because they seem to be building it throughout the episode. But then I realized, oh, they're just teaming up to get Contessa because they're sick of Contessa coasting. I think they feel like Contessa's coasting. So, they're like, okay, Heavenly is not here. Let's fight with Contessa. Yeah. So Brandy's like, oh, my God.

You know, I told her, I said, girl, you could have had a little wedding. And I was like, yeah, my wedding was $75,000. And Mimi's like, in what year? Such a mouth. Shut to God's whole mouth. All right, everybody, all the pimps and players in here. I want to make a lot of noise and give a round of applause to coffee service. We've only got two craps of decaf, but they will be coming around.

Also, Contessa's behind the coffee. Contessa, hello. Contessa, did you take any more soaps out of the soap dispenser thingy? Stop doing that when you pass the towels, okay? The housekeeping wanted me to ask you. It's Contenza. The MC is like, all right, everybody. Oh, your turn.

Your turn. Oh, no, you? Oh, okay, I'll go. Like, sorry, the MC's used to doing conference calls. This is new territory for him. The MC's like, Contessa is here. Can I please have your Marriott Rewards number? Please, that would be great.

Do not enter it on sign up. Just want to remind everyone to put your hands in the air because there are snicker bars in the lobby you can charge to your room. You will be charged for every towel missing. from your hotel room just to let you guys know energy for contessa there is a business center where you can print documents for a nominal fee yes Starbucks is for some reason three dollars more expensive per drink than it is everywhere else enjoy contessa everybody and just remember that after the party is the after party which happens at the gym which is 24 hours the peloton is

broken though must have a room key so contessa comes and she's like this is the party of my dreams really who dreams of that who dreams of a conference party

I can't with this you know what it's like with this party like it just is it was just the car I could just see too much of the carpeting Too much like, I just was, I was hoping that when they, when people arrived and there was the balloon wall, I was like, okay, this definitely looks like, you know, a conference room exterior. But when they get in there, it's going to be, they'll be transported to a different world. But when they went in there, I was like, this is, this is where you have a seminar.

It was definitely like a seminar, seminar, seminar room. Like someone should have been up there talking about gross strategies. Yeah. Something or something synergies. Scott is like, well, the price of the party was extensive. I mean, we could have cut the cake price in half, probably the food budget in half too. And she was like, yeah, and then if we listened to you,

we'd be doing it in a living room. So maybe the best thing for you to do was to stay out of it, which you did. And this turned out exactly how I wanted it. And he's like, mm-hmm, okay. Yeah, all right. We should also mention that Scott is wearing like this wig that's like a little bob.

This little, like, it's almost like an, like, what's it called? clockwork orange bob under his hat which was uh i know what look he was going for but it was just the wig was not really i felt like really not going to have the park yeah yeah a lot of the wigs were were rough on this one yeah so um scott goes to talk to cecil and you know all the guys are basically talking and scott's like well i tried uh troy goes oh you did really good on this party scott and he goes yeah you know i tried to help out as much as i could and she goes, oh, really? Really? You did? You set this out? And Cecil's like, yeah, that was shade. She's, uh, she's not being

serious. Scott's like, really? She says, no, no, I love all the parties that you med throw. All of you bet throw great parties. And they're like, oh, Scott's like, well, guess what? We cut the checks. Okay. Which was not really the right thing to say. And she's like, oh, okay, I'll go and ruin your relationship now. Have fun. Have fun at your party. I know. Um, and then Scott says that he went and picked up the cupcakes today. So Heavenly's like, well, I'm gonna let you all know that these 70s have done a whole lot

that you probably can't do. Them, this area here, got it. They got it all fucked up. And Jackie's like, yeah, it's really fucked up. I mean, back down. When we bent over for a man, right? We pinned over backwards for our man. You know, they don't want to do that anymore.

These young girls don't want to do that. And I'm going to run on that platform, which is bring back bending over for your men. Yeah, Heavenly. I love Heavenly coming back with a very modern platform to run on. women need to be more like they were 50 years ago okay just take women women need to bend over for the men heavenly time machine yeah um and angels like well

I bend over backwards for my man and if he was a good man I've got no problem with that bend it over bust it wide open I think in a good relationship both people are bending it's just essentially like rhythmic gymnastics up in there you know so Contessa uh now has an outfit change and she has long hair sort of like share hair and uh curtis is talking to eugene and he's like hey jean how's it going and jean's like i'm good i'm good he's like well we missed you at the thing the other night i love i love curtis and his specificity and eugene's like yeah well i've been working out of town you know i go to town i work and then i come back and then i just got back yesterday and then i'm working i'm working at five different hospitals right now and they're all like two hours away and

you know there's all you know all these different hospitals but like at every hospital the nurses are like hey can you come work here all the time? And I'm like, no, I can't because I can't afford to do that. I need to carry five jobs all at once for, I'm not going to say why I have to earn all this money, but let's just say house number 12. House number 12. Yeah. And Curtis is like, whoa, only the nurses. What about the patients? Why are the nurses? And Cecil's like, yeah, I want to see the nurses. I just, I want to see the nurses who are saying this. And he's like, guys, you're feeding into that. Listen, nurses know how you behave and who they want to work with. and but they're all hinting like oh eugene has got some game with the nurses that's

why they're big yes guys the nurses are all creaming their pants over eugene across state they're just like yes give me some more Eugene they're all passing Eugene in the hallway like hey doctor Eugene but also I know but also like why are these guys trying to act like this is scandalous these are potential co-workers okay in an ideal world the patient is out of there in like three or four days okay if a patient's like can you please work here all the time then that's not i mean we don't want the patients to be in there all the time we want it the people who are going to be in that hospital would be the nurses look at me taking up for eugene i'm like i'm like excuse me people please do not please do not

try to create scandal around our sweet eugene is you yeah they're just trying to make it sound like you know lusted for by all the nurses they're just giving but eugene takes it very Seriously. He's like, no, guys. Seriously. They're like, right, stud. He's like, no, guys. Really? Yeah. And I like that, like, Toya is like, what, what, what nurses? And he's like, well, he's like, well, you might like to know that some of them are men. And she's like, excuse me? What are they names? He goes, uh, Paul. There's a guy named Paul. And he likes me. And he wants to come back. And Cecil knows him. So there. So there. Paul. Bring Paul on the show. Paul casting Paul so Scott gives a speech it's super romantic he's like hey hey guys hey guys uh thanks so much for coming uh I don't know if my wife has mentioned this but she's never had a major birthday party and her whole life isn't crazy let me tell you she did so much to get this party going it was great it was just inspiring to watch it from the couch you know she's a really strong force in our

household uh I did just kind of call her a bitch right now in the speech and uh I celebrate her for that Okay. So also, I want to share a really important story with you guys. Long time ago, before my mother passed away, we would watch movies together. And she said, you got yourself a rose from the Titanic. She would just let you die in an ice storm. Her in an iceberg. I think drowned. I think so. Have fun with that. I think my mom's specific words were she's almost as slutty as that woman Rose who took her top off to be painted by a stranger on a boat. so i couldn't tell if the mom was like yeah your wife's gonna let you drown while she goes off with kathy bates in a survivor boat but he said she's like rose would jump back on the boat for your ass just like she did on the titanic she didn't jump back on the boat for him did she no is that an alternate ending i think she didn't remember i think once people were off that boat they were off that boat pretty sure yeah like she stayed with him for a while but then when it was

time to go. They only had room for the rich people. So she got on the rich people boat. And then he floated away out driftwood until he drowned and died. Well, maybe what it was, I haven't seen the movie in a while was that weren't the wealthy people going to get onto a lifeboat. And like, Francis Fisher was like, we're doing this? And she was like, no, got to go back and save Jack. Maybe that's what the vibe was. All I know is, I love one quad was like, why, why do we have to like go through duress to be seen as like a decent option? Like, like, why can't we just, why can't we just be awesome without having to like suffer through the titanic yeah like why are you bringing it back to the titanic um yeah it's awkward speech like you're not doing great you could have at least

written a decent speech sir okay because this one i was like so your mom hates contessa because i really don't think any mom would be like rose let me tell you one thing rose did she did right by Leo. Yeah, is Rose considered like a feminist icon or like an icon of strength and fortitude? She threw the jewel back into the ocean at the end. I mean, that was obnoxious. People are looking for that thing. And it's also worth a lot. And you could have secured your children's, your grandchildren's future by just selling it for auction. You just throw it into the ocean. I know. Rose looks all nice, but we didn't see her grandchildren's like crippling student loan debt, you know? I know. She just throws away like 10 million.

dollars yeah god i hate rose commercials here comes one right now so the toy is like um so what are you in prom gear and we're in 70s a pal contesta and she's like well it's my party and people need to be able to tell the difference between me and you and me and the rest okay i'm just saying and so they're just like laughing because she's with all the women outside and they're hanging out and it is funny And then she showed up in a prom dress. Like, she shows up in the sparkly, like, ice skating dress.

It's like, why? You just look crazy. It's different if you tell everybody to wear white and you wear black or something. But it's... I like to, I have to say, I did... Cuckoo. It did. I did like her in that long.

I actually liked both of her wigs, to be honest. I sort of thought, like, what she has, like, like, the big hair. I kind of, I actually enjoyed that look for Contessa. And then when you had the long, flat hair, I also enjoyed that. So I was really happy with the wig work. personally. But contest is definitely, she's taking victory laps at her own party right now. She's like, this is a great party, right, guys?

You guys having a good time. And Angel's like, did you want your husband to throw it? Or are you okay with it? She goes, well, I just said, this is my last year of my 40s. And I'm not going to leave my 40s in this first half of my life, like with any regrets. And I think I just had a vision of my head. I said, mm, Marriott, generic carpeted floors, coffee machines. good Wi-Fi for Zoom calls that can be put on a big screen.

And I was like, boom, 50th birthday party. I wanted people to leave here and remember the glamour of a continental breakfast. You know, and I think I've accomplished that, you know. And I don't know if it would be if I expected if somebody else planned it for me. You know, like if he did something in the backyard, I mean, no, I want people, I want it to be somewhere where people can get drinks and food. And Tori's like, but why did you just tell him that and then make him do it? She's like, well, I mean, you know, look, I've been waiting 20 years for him to do something.

So I just would be afraid it would wind up at a holiday inn and I'm more of a Marriott gal, okay? I just want to take the age out of Bon Voyage, hence Marriott Bonvoy. Okay. And Simone's like, well, don't you all believe that from the beginning of the relationship, we teach the men how to think? And contest is like, okay, remember that you just said, you told everybody in this whole group that you teach a man how to treat you. Just remember that for a couple of scenes ahead because you're an egg on your face, ma'am. Dry, powdery, continental breakfast eggs. Please don't remind me of so many Hyatt House breakfasts that I refuse to eat, in fact.

I'm not going to act like I even endured them. I'm like, I shall not. So Simone is like, if the bar or expectation is low, they can jump right over that. And they don't move the bar. And we have to move the bar. Sorry, I'm just getting my late in the season Caribbean couples counseling ready to go. So she says that her first Mother's Day, Cecil, didn't have a card for her. And she's like, I got this little sucker over here and sucking on me and you don't have a card.

So. And the contest is like, okay, well, we can reevaluate our marriages after the party. Okay? Because why are we coming after my marriage? And Toria's like, no, no, re-evaluating our marriages. that's major and she's like well he knows he knows that i handle shit okay and so he just was waiting for me to handle it and i did handle it and so i had a great party and i'm happy and look how sexist you guys are because now you're waiting for the patriarchy to do it for me instead of saying

why can't a woman do something on her own and they're like oh geez and quad's like you better flip it because they're like okay that was well played make it seem like okay that this is we're all being sexist you that was good that was well played so contest says like it's my party So they like, you know, it actually, it was actually fine. It was not a tense moment and she goes off. They're like, don't worry. We'll try again the next scene. Okay.

But you have fun. And she's like, I'm stomping off now. Like, oh, ho, we're going to get her at the next one. Don't worry, girls. Yeah. Also, poor Contessa. She throws herself a big 50th birthday party and it's only like in segment two or three of the episode.

Wow. Sad. You don't even get the final segment. So now we go to Cecil. Simone and Cecil head to their sons. And, you know, I love their kids. I love, I always thought they have, like, just the sweetest kids, but, but those kids are also a little dumb because they're about to walk right into the, they are about to do some dumb ass shit. And they're going to, they're going to find out what happens when you do dumb stuff.

This is not played well by the kids. I will say that. Yes. They are about to learn. None of them played very. They do not play this scene very well at all. So they're having family dinner night. The boys have ordered them food as kind of a thank you for their celebration, as a thank you for their graduation party.

And so they get together and Cecil's, you know, praising like the smallest effort. But he's like, wow, you guys got food? That's amazing. And they're like, yeah, we're going to microwave it. He's like, whoa, wow, you guys, you know how to use a microwave? you're doing so great. Aren't they doing great, Simone? She's like, mm-hmm.

So now, how does it feel to have one less thing off of your plate now that you've graduated? Oh, you're talking about because we put the food in the microwave? No, not the literal plate. We're talking about it's a metaphorical one. Please keep up. So they're like, Michael says, well, you know, nothing. I mean, it feels like nothing. So, you know, I mean, look, let's talk about this.

In high school, I got the Jeep, right? The Jeep was cool, but now we're starting to teeter towards the Jeep not being so cool. And she's like, oh, really? What makes the Jeep not cool? I mean, she's just ready. She's like, really, you're going to start a scene by trying to trap me into buying you a car on national television. And you think that's going to work out for you? She's like, oh, hell, though.

You can already see it raising in her. She's like, no, no, sir. This was such the worst. to start your plea for everything that you're about to ask for by saying like what you got it was cool then it's not cool anymore oh you say it's what you do is it doesn't it's not driving as well it's it's not it's not efficient we're spending a lot of money on gas and also it's going to the shop lot and I'm concerned about the safety ratings and I'm afraid that if I were to get into an accident that I might die whereas in another car I might be safe I don't know you appeal to parental things don't say it's not cool

Simone is like looking at him like, are you kidding me? The amount of time I waited for you and your brother to get your degrees. Although actually I think that I think Michael like he finishes in four years, but Miles took a little, took a little time. She's like, I haven't paying for your asses for years and years and years. And now you're going to complain that the Jeep that I got you, that I didn't even need to get you when I could have gotten you a Toyota Corolla. You're going to say that that's not cool anymore.

And she's trying to keep her cool. She's trying to be like, mm-hmm. He's like, and he goes, well, Well, I mean, it's cool still, but I'm just tired of seeing it. I know you're tired of seeing it. We're all tired of seeing it. Let's just get me a new car. And she's like, mm-hmm, tired.

Well, what we have to look at, though, is your financial situation to see if you could afford to make payments. Now, listen, I put some numbers on my iPad. I ran some figures for you, so let me grab that. And he's like, whoa, whoa, I just want to say whatever you bring that iPad out, just make sure whatever is on it. It's not going to cause me to pick up your pasta off your plate and feed it to the dogs. I was like, oh, no. Every line you are saying is the wrong line. Yeah.

And what I loved is that she's like, okay, you want to have this conversation. I've already crunched the numbers. I'm more prepared than you think I am for this situation here. I knew this day would come and I'm ready for it. So she basically is like she wants them to take care of themselves financially, right? which I don't think is unreasonable. And so Simone's like, okay, what I did was just calculate the chase bill for the last year, month by month.

And in January and Miles goes, mom, can I, can I just stop you right there? Like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You opened up this Pandora's box. You're going to hear about all the money that you kids have spent. It's like, why does this have to be negative? It's factual information. Michael spent over $60,000 by himself on his card. Whoa, that's crazy.

That's a lot of money for one year for a kid in college. A college? What are you doing? And like, that's a car. I mean, how are you, like, I just, how do you spend basically $5,000 a month in college, in college? If you're, maybe there's rent. What did you say? Uber eats every day.

All their bills and all that stuff. Yeah. I mean, like, I get it. Like, if you're living off campus in an apartment, there's money there, too, but still 5,000 is a huge amount to spend. Well, she bought, they bought them an apartment. Remember, we saw them buy them that apartment that they moved into. So.

So. And a car. I don't, I don't understand this. This is crazy. So he spent 60 grand, and he needs to have a clear understanding about the value of money. And the value of swiping just a motherfucking credit card. So he's like, well, the chase bell, she goes, if I were you and I wanted a car, I wouldn't be arguing with the person you were asking to buy the car, but that's me. So have you been thinking about where you want to go to law school, how you're going to finance your education?

And he goes, well, I do have a mother who makes pretty good money. I'm like, sir, this is not the time to be cracking jokes. And she goes, and Simone's like, well, I don't. don't feel like I should be footing the bill for anything other than the roof over your head. And Cecil's like, well, when you start thinking about law school, graduate school and so forth, if you're not getting any support, right, if no one's helping you to do that, it sounds like based on what your mom is saying that what your ideal situation would be and someone's like, um, the only one here at the table with an actual doctorate degree is me.

And how I did it was I got scholarship money and loans. And actually, she's still very calm. She's just like, listen, I'm just telling you, you know, you're going to, you have to figure it out. Like, do the work, get the scholarship money, like apply for it, get a job. Like, you can do this. I did it. You can do it. It seems like where she really loses it here is with Cecil, as we'll see in a minute.

So I'm seeing he transferred from IT to real estate. And he is involved in business ventures, notably the Kids Force app, Which I don't think it's a thing anymore. Yeah, I'm looking for Cecil to see if he is doing stuff, like what he's doing for his job. Why are they coming for Simone? Like, why is this all asking Simone about her money? Like, where's Cecil's money? Why aren't we talking about that, you know?

Right. So, so basically she's like, get the, like, she's like, what about, like scholarship money? And Michael's like, well, your mom wasn't able to do the things for you. that you are able to do for us. I mean, what about all the rich white kids? Their parents pay their way to go for everything. And then they get up college debt free and are millionaires. I'm like, I actually totally understand what he's saying there.

But the thing is, you spent $60,000 on the chase card and you're sitting here asking for a new car. And like, you're like, like, clearly Simone's like, you need to, you need to learn how to figure stuff out on your own. Like if he hadn't, I think that if he hadn't been ringing up huge amounts of money, you know, in college. and like show sort of and some sort of like initiative to be like I want to work towards this but I need some help she'd be like okay it'd be like my honor to help you like this is what we work for

is that like younger generations but he's just sort of like a kid who's just earning he's a dumb ass paid for her and now just like got to a car she paid for your college she paid for your house she paid for your house that you live in which is crazy she's paying your credit card bill so for you to come in here

and be like well you're making money you're going to pay for it is just yeah that's Don't miss to move. I mean, you need to come in and be like, I really want to go to graduate school. I don't know how I'm going to work school and this at the same time. You know, what's your advice? Should I get a part-time job, a full-time job?

You know, whatever. Like, work with her until she says, like, well, I can help you if you do X, Y, Z. You know? Like your education matters to me. But, like, don't, and also don't lead with the Jeep. Don't lead with the Jeep. It's not cool anymore, so I need a new Jeep. Lead with, I'm thinking about my next steps.

I would love to go to law school. and I was wondering if I could get some help. And then she could say, well, you need first get a job. You don't have to go to law school right away. Start building up for your future. And then what happens is do that. And then I'm sure if you show initiative, I'm sure they would come in and be like,

we're so proud of you that we are going to help you. But the fact he's just like, yeah, just give me the money. She is like, and then you're going to be on TV. You're going to be like, you're going to put her in a position where she's going to look like she does not want to contribute to generational wealth. That's what he's basically doing. Like you can see she's like, this little punk that I raised. Oh, my God. Yeah. And there are plenty of rich kids that's parents are

like, we'll help you with X, Y, Z, but you're paying for your college and you're doing it. I mean, you have to pass responsibility off at some point. Obviously, not everybody does, but it's not unheard of that wealthy people make their kids work, you know? Yeah. And then Simone says, well, what about all the white people who pay for their kids to go to school, be debt free? And then they still aren't doing shit, which is also, by the way, very fair point. So now, Like at this point, it's like a, it's still like a pretty chill. Like she's definitely getting like annoyed, but like it's a chill conversation. But then when Cecil's like, well, Michael's point is still a valid one.

We are blessed. We are in a situation where we like, you know what? You may feel that way, but save it for the conversation afterwards in the bedroom. Right now it's like you have to, you should have your wife's back, Cecil. Especially when your wife is carrying the load. Like this is crazy. It's like three against one attacking her for being cheap. when she pays for literally everything.

So she is not going to like. She does not like this Cecil jumping on his side. And she's like, if I'm dead before he finishes law school, then what? And he's like, well, I mean, that could happen because God might take you away. Oh, my God, they're so bad at this. I can't believe how bad they aren't negotiating. And Michael's like, well, I'm done talking about this. And she goes, oh, I don't care.

Be done. And she is pissed now. And she says, I'm tired of being the low man out. It's always three against one, which has been a complaint of hers, this entire series. And they're still doing it to her. And Cecil's like, well, I'm going to jump in now. She goes, do not fucking jump in. Do not.

Because you don't think like me. And he goes, well, after you speak, then I'll speak. And she's like, you don't think like me. You don't support me on shit. Mm-hmm. And Cisle goes, well, where did that come from? It comes from the heart. It comes from the heart.

The bottom line is you're so fucking entitled is what this review. to be. And then Michael, she's like, I'm done. I'm done. I don't know. Mother thing from your eyes. And, you know, Michael is like, he like runs away. Because it's actually an interesting scene because you can also see the kids reacting to this. Like, Miles kind of shuts down. It was just like staring at his plate. Michael just like runs away. Like, this is not the first time that there's been like an explosive moment in this household. But also, Michael, you, you caused it. Sorry. Like, that was your, you're, you're really messed up on this one. You really thought you were being slick.

I love that Simone goes to level 20, you know, she's like, gets up, and then she's kind of in the hallway or the foyer or whatever, so you don't really even see her on camera. You just hear her losing it. And she's like, I am done. I don't owe you a motherfucking thing from here. I have given you everything that I have. Yeah. I was like, damn. Yes.

I'm just imagining. I was cracking up. and cheering in my house because i love when simone lets them have it it's like she stays there in this very like what else would you like to add to this conversation and she lets them get all their stupidity out and she just lays into them it's my favorite simode i have to imagine so many parents were giving her a standing ovation i just have to i mean it was it was just so great and like i i'm I'm just imagining Michael's friends just giving him so much shit today. Like, you're an idiot. Why did you ever think that was the way to achieve your goal?

You're like, you mess that up, big time, big time. Dumb move, buddy. Okay, so we go to Mimi's house. I'm so tired. I don't even, I'm tired of Mimi, honestly. I don't even really remember any of this. But then we go to Quad working out at home with her man. And she's doing a stair climber or something.

And he's like, what are you trying to? She's like, what are you trying to do, reverse the big back? And she's like, did you say my back is big? I'm small in the waist and chew to the face. With the big back. And then we go to contest. In five years, that's going to be clocked. Absolutely.

It will be clocked. A contested Scott setting up their backyard for something deeply uninteresting. And then Simone arrives at the, so the main event, which is we're at a hookah lounge. And Simone shows up and Heavenly joins her at the bar. And she's like, hey, you're looking at today. She's like, girl, we had a family dinner that went all the way left. And I got attitude because I'm not going to pay for law school. And I never said I was paying for a law school.

I don't think you should. And me and him were going back and forth. And Cecil was silent to you. And I just get tired of being the bad cop all by myself. all the time and i just got i just need a break from the people that last night went so hard i just i just need a break i got to congratulate hookah lounges for still being a thing like how is that still something that is a thing like i can't believe that has lasted who knew but you know what i didn't believe bottled water would be a thing either back in the day yeah i'm very sensitive to the

smell of like fruity things i hate the smell of fruity the fruity smoke so like a lot of incense is very like hard for me and so a lot of and hookah lounges are very very fruity smelling so i instinctively i'm just like you know and i just sort of like i just like it's like i really have a hard time with hookah lounges uh so then brandy comes and it's her birthday she's 42 and she's like my hubby surprised me who's like invite your friends i'm going to pay for you guys to eat drink can have a good night. He's paying. Yeah. And it's like, oh, so your husband did this for you, but Contessa's husband did not do it for her. So do you think that you should tone it down a little bit in front of people? What? She goes, look, I can't tone it down because my man is my man. I mean,

I got a good man. But also, I think that she's like, guys, drinks on me, right? Like, I don't think this is a crazy ostentatious moment. She's like, yeah, my husband said they're going to pay for everything. They're just going to lay down this groundwork the whole time. So then the other ladies come and um tory is like uh don't don't feel a dress y'all you look just fine jacky look at jacky and she's like some of us are professional women because toya's wearing like a chenelle like a shiny chanelle shirt or something like that it's not even it's not even just that it's chanelle it's literally sequined sequined logo this is chenelle across it looks like she bought that in times square it looks ridiculous and it's like oh i'm the only one who got labels now and

And weren't you just complaining that somebody was spending too much money on their birthday party? You were wearing one of the dumbest t-shirts I've ever seen. Yeah, congrats on wearing your overpriced, expensive designer wear to a smoky bar that's designed to be smoky and like frequently smoky. So then, so then Jack is like, well, some of us professional women have more places to go than a party. I was like, oh, so you're saying that the women that walked in are professional? She goes, I'm just talking about you, Toya. If professional means being you, then I want to be me. And she's like, well, I don't want to be you.

Okay, well, that's all I'm saying. Okay, okay, we took over. It's Brandy's birthday. So look, first let's get off some shots. And Heavenly is like, well, Herman is paying for this. So he said I can have all the shots I wanted. That's what he said. Sorry, Contessa.

I'm sorry, Contessa. I'm sorry you didn't get any shots paid for your birthday, but I got some shots. right now from her off be and brandy is like he did he said you can have all the shots i love this at cadizza's party i feel like we didn't get a chance to really kick it and cadessa's like um well you know that's the only negative about having a party is that you just don't get to spend quality time with everyone that's why the next day i did a brunch and i said if i didn't get a chance to hug you please come to the house and i literally cooked from like 10 o'clock to the morning

until you know nine o'clock in the evening and they're like what and toyo's like who do you know this stays at a brunch for for 11 hours my friends at my house for 11 hours kidding who did you invite that was passive aggressive cooking that was her being like let's see how long i can cook before scott offers to take over or to you know order in food and so he of course did nothing and so she sat there cooking until 9 o'clock making pancake after pancake yeah but also i don't want to celebrate you two days in a row you know what i mean like you had your party glad it was fun. It's over now. Let's all go back to real life where it's not your birthday every day.

So they said, well, where was Scott the next day? He can cook. And she's like, oh, he was outside smoking cigars, of course. But you know what? It's okay. I really enjoy taking care of people. Yeah, but who's going to take care of you? She goes, you know what? I think paying for that party was Scott taking care of me.

So that was his way. Brandi is like, um, okay. Uh, hello. Hi. Sorry. I, uh, I just want to bring it back to me for a second. It's my birthday, you know? And I was like, No, not for a second. It's the whole night. It's your birthday.

And she goes, well, my husband and kids are on the phone. So while everyone, look, and she brings up, they're on FaceTime. She goes, this is my husband and all my kids. They just want to say, and so they want to say thank you. And everyone's like, oh, thank you guys. And Contessa says, like, happy birthday, Brandi. This is an amazing party. And Brandi keeps on saying, like, thank you over and over again to like her kids.

Like, okay, thank you, thank you, thank you. In my mind, I thought was her way of being like, okay, we're going to wrap this up. Thank you again. Okay, bye, guys, bye, bye, you know, when you do that. But then they're like, why is she saying thank you so many times? What's wrong with her? She's saying, thank you so much. Well, she is, I mean, look, I will agree with Contessa that it is getting a little like, okay,

I've got my whole family on the phone. Okay, say thanks to my family, everybody, because you're getting your free drinks and your free dintz. It is a little weird. It's a little over the top than just being like, okay, come to my birthday. and I picked it up, of course, because I'm hosting a birthday party for myself and I'm an adult, you know? It's like, okay, let's thank him again. Let's thank him. Let's keep thanking him. And part of me was like, well, aren't you, you own business. So it's not like you're poor and your

husband's just giving you this money. Don't you have a joint account? Like, what's happening here? But I didn't think she was being mean-spirited or anything, but it felt a little weird. And now they've been kind of attacking. Well, I don't want to say attacking, but they've been coming for Contessa and hinting it, her relationship sucking. And so she's like, well, happy birthday, Brandy. Yeah, this is an amazing dinner party. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

But, you know, can we pray to God or do we have to pray to your husband for thanking him for the food as well? And then Heavenly gives her first evil, heavenly hyena cackle of the evening. She's like, it's like, it's so, it's so. So I. Dog showed up outside my house. I was like, go away. Go away.

It was so high. It was very, very big. So she laughs because she loves that Contessa just sort of clocked Brandy. And Brandy goes, okay, well, you're in your feelings. That's okay. That goes, well, no, we're thinking all these husbands a lot. And these husbands are getting a lot of credit for some basic shit. Like, he's buying you your drinks and your dinner.

I think you can say thank you. not that. Don't do that, contesta. Don't do that. She's like, I mean, we're in a strip mall, not a plaza, okay? And she's like, well, here's the thing. My husband paid for this, and he's paid for everybody to come and have a good night. And my husband's amazing.

So I give my husband props, and I'll tell anybody. So I'm sorry that you couldn't say that if it's a problem for you or anybody else. And she's like, well, I think you guys are the problem. Because did you hear my husband complain one minute about how much money that was spent? Because the only thing that my husband did not do was plan it. But I'll be honest, if he would have. done this for my first birthday party, I would have been underwhelmed. I mean, this isn't really even a birthday party, in my opinion.

Okay. And that's where she just, oh, no, they baited you and you immediately fell in. They've been baiting you. Why are you falling into this? Well, I mean, and also her saying that, like, if he had done this for my first birthday, I'm like, well, you're 50. So, like, the fact that he actually is not, I'll tell you what he did for your first birthday, nothing the past several years.

Yeah. So you were, you were underwhelmed. and hungry. Yeah. So, so, yeah, she totally, now she's spiraling

because she's obviously so unhappy in her marriage and she's so unhappy that Scott did nothing and she was trying to act like she didn't care, but now she's totally unraveling. And Brandy's like,

okay, this is getting out of hand. Okay, this is a dinner, okay, this is a dinner night. Brandy, okay, Brandy spent zero. My husband paid for it. And Kodessa was like, oh, well, I just,

I brought some money just in case. Don't worry. So I can pay for it. And she brings out like this change purse. with like lots of cash in it which means that she was already ready to get she was already upset because she brought this cat no one brings that much cash around unless they know they have a certain reason to spend it this is we're essentially in a cashless economy we're moved

towards that and you're only bringing cash out for certain specific things i believe and so i think that a bunch i saw two 20s i mean oh it looked like it looked like a it looked like a lot more to me than that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I just projected it. Thanks for offering the 20 for the bill, contessa. What the hell? $5,000. But either way, I was like, you were prepared for this. You were prepared to come up with a bad attitude. And so Brandy's like, well, why do you have that money? She's like, you brought all your birthday money? And she's like, well, we have joint bank account. I have access. And Mimi's like, okay, put your point, your coin purse back. Okay, nobody needs to see that.

And Quads like, the shade is real, baby. Quads loving it. And so, and Brandy's like, yeah, the shade's very real. Well, Contessa was upset because, well, what was I upset about, about Scott not throwing a party for you? And I don't know why you forgot. You forgot that he didn't throw you a party. Well, why is it this paternalistic world where some man has to throw some shit for me?

I make just as much money as him. And so this is where Heavenly is like, okay, well, not only does Contessa complain about Scott to our friends, and then she switches her story, and she gets mad at you if you remember what she said the day before, and now I've learned to just accept it. Just stay out of her shit, if you know any better. Now I just hint at other people to say it. Then I watch them fight. And Contessa's like, why are we focusing on the negative? Contessa, you start, you are the one focusing on the negative. Oh, no. You started it. These bitches. And so Toyo's like, all we are saying is that at the end of the day, at the end of the day. You got nothing for nothing. And that's all that daddy can say for the love of the daddy.

That's right. And you fucking complain all the time about your husband. She goes, well, you complain all the time about your husband. And it's fucking not right, bitch. Now can we move on where the fuck is the cake? So Angel's like, this might be normal behavior for everybody. I guess that's what I'm learning. And then they probably will just start hugging and laughing.

And then sure enough, they're like, okay, hugs, laughs. They're all laughing. Like, everything's fine now. And so Simone's like, well, do you think that there is ever a time where maybe you are frustrated? And Heavenly goes, we all are. She goes, be quiet, heavenly. Oh, sorry. And contest is like, listen, we've been married 20 years.

years, and if I spent all the time focusing on the negatives, I would be like my girlfriends who are out here still single, which is the worst thing known to man. A single woman? So maybe at 30 years, he's going to do some of those things that I've asked for. And she goes, oh, I've been married for 29 years. He is not going to do anything. I was like, please enlighten her, Simone. Kadez is like, so yes, it would be nice sometimes if he bought me a Rose Royce. you know, or something like that.

But, you know, I like the ring better. And Quad's like, well, some people here are married and don't even want to be married anymore. And marriage isn't that. Because Quad is like, I have the ring and the Rose Royce, oh, baby. Babe. And Simone's like, Simone's like, well, Quad, who here doesn't want to be married anymore other than me? And they're like, what? What? Yes, you do, Simone.

You want to be married. marriage is like, you have no idea. Don't say that. Don't say it. Do not make us spend another four-hour reunion fighting about you and Cecil, please. But Simone is like, oh, you don't understand how angry I'm at this guy. And that's where it ends. Are they going to get divorced?

Is it heading to divorce again? I don't know. I don't think they're going to get divorced, but those guys, I hope that she just goes back in there and calmly says, you have proven to me that you were a spoiled little shit. And guess what? I was going to help you out with college. And now I'm not. So good luck getting your life together.

And you're lucky I'm still paying your rent and your Jeep. So if you still want those, you'll shut the fuck up. Okay? I get a job. Well, that's where we end it. Everyone, thanks so much for being here. We will catch you later today. And also all throughout the entire week.

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