Watch What Crappens - #3121 RHOSLC S614: Trick of the Trademark

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are still in Greece, and this time Meredith breaks down over not being able to speak to toddler Brooksie and Angie flips over a trademark. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens. Watch what happens when there's so much than crap is. and welcome to watch what happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

How they hang in, bra? Everything's hanging real well. How's everything hanging with you? Good. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Day. We're rushing up to the Christmas holiday. We're so excited.

My God. It's going to be so... This week. Yeah, it's next week. Yeah. Very excited, and that's really all I have to say. And also, you know, Christmas gifts are starting to come. And, man, it is just candy, cookies, cookies, candy, candies, cookie, cookies.

So I'm just surrounded by lots of... Yeah, well, not that. I haven't had any dildos yet, but lots of cookies and stuff. And, you know, I ain't even complaining. I'll tell you who's fighting it is my medication, my weight loss medication. Yeah. It's like, you don't want that. I'm like, eating it anyway.

So my body is in rebellion at the moment. but God bless it. Thanks to everybody who sends me junk food. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. Go fine. Yeah.

Today is Real House House of SLC, as we mentioned. And Monday is our final Amazon Live for the year. So join us for that at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can get a link to that page over at our link in bio on Instagram. We can go check out our crappy hour. We had Allison Roman on this week, which was super fun to talk to her. And I think that's it for special stuff. Oh, we've got our Christmas movie coming up over Christmas.

It'll be Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and then Monday and Tuesday the next week. There's four episodes. It's long. It's ridiculous. It's with the reality gaze. And the movie we recapped is called My Secret Sound on Netflix. We're not necessarily suggesting you watch that movie because it sucked. It's bad.

It sucked hardcore. But, man, we had fun talking about how much it sucked for four hours. So join us for that over the Christmas holiday. Ben's got a little cough today. I know. It's like I'm not, I'm not like under the weather. Like I feel totally fine. I think it's like either allergies or I don't know what it was.

I don't know, but like I have like a little bit of a little cough is coming up. So I apologize to anyone who I'm like coughing in your ears with this podcast. I'm just what the body does. Okay. I took some cough medicine to like to abate it a little bit. But you know what? I got a little post nasal drip. It's a little bit of cloth, okay?

Yeah, so we open Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, season six, episode 14. Everybody's waking up in, I am Greek, and Whitney is probably still drunk and screaming, Happy Mother's Day, happy Mother's Day. It is Mother's Day in Greece. It's Greek Wednesday. Greek Mother's Day, very exciting. Yeah, everyone's opening up the blinds. I feel like the producers were like,

can you, we need to get footage of you opening the blinds because we need to make a montage of blinds opening. So that's what we see here. It's very exciting. Big move on productions part. Guys, we need more blind opening on this show, okay? Yeah. Let's do it.

So Whitney comes out of the bathroom topless, and they need more towels, and so they have to call a butler, which I think they're joking. I don't know if they really have a butler or not. Yeah, no, not on Salt Lake City. I would assume not. But yeah, those two can't do anything.

Last week they were asking, you know, they were saying, should we go get water or go or go take a shower? And then they decided they didn't have time to get water. And everyone online is, was, well, not everyone, but there was a Reddit thread. Like, are they on drugs? Do you think water meant coke? No, I think it meant water. Because those two dummies are the ones who don't go to the store to get water.

And you know what? I judge people like that. Because what's the first thing I do when we get to a hotel band? I go find the 7-11 or a store and I get me some gallons of water. Got to do it. You never know. That is 100% correct.

You always find the water every single time. Yes. So now we see, yeah, now we see Heather and Angie in the kitchen. And there's a chart there that says the friendship commandments. And Heather's like, are these our commandments? And we flash back to the tea Boston Tea Party where Brahman's like, Here ye, hear ye, we're going to have friendship commandments. Yes. And this is one of the episodes where Heather, and Heather does this probably every episode, but especially on vacations, it makes me crazy, where everything is amazing. Like everything that happens, she has to yell and scream to everybody around how amazing it is. She's like, oh my God, are these the commandments? Like, these are the friendship commandments that we make. So we make a mark when anybody does something wrong.

Is that what we do? Like everything. They get dinner later and she's like, Oh my God. Is this food? Are you kidding me? It's like, oh my God. She's the most performative happy person on vacation.

Is that a sunset? That's such a Greek sunset. Oh my God. It's like you're not having as much fun as me, you know, is what she's yelling at you the whole time on vacation. And I'm like, I just want to be. be away from you. Just be quiet. I'm on vacation.

Well, she's definitely cheating towards the audience, right? She's like, wow, look at this. It's like winking, like, guys, take a look at this, Salt Lake City, bringing the comedy again, America. It's kind of a vibe. So this has columns and it has all their commandments on it. And so whenever one of them, you know, goes against their commandment, they get a mark. They get a red mark. and so Angie is you know not the brightest sometimes so she's trying to figure it out she's like wait a minute so this is our list of commandments so wait if we get a mark

does that mean that we've done something good or bad oh god don't have game night with Angie yeah there strikes strikes against you and so Bronwyn's like okay well I'm gonna regret this yeah no I put this up because of no originally it was supposed to be uh you know It's supposed to be like a funny thing, like a reverse sticker chart. You know, the sort of comedy that comes from calling out your friends for acting like bitches. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And then we see a flashback to the day earlier. And Bronwyn's put it up and Meredith is watching.

And she's like, well, if we all are going to stick to our commandments that we made. So, you know, if I said something about someone's family, they would come back and they'd, like, put a block on that square. And Meredith's like, I'm not sure I understand that. And even if I did, our response to put up gold stars because I used up all my gold stars. Putting them on Brooksie's door, because he's the best little toddler in America. Well, we're always acting like kindergartners. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And so this is what kindergartners do.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So it's a sticker chart, and I think if you see your entire column in red, then that's bad. And maybe that'll be like a little motivation to change your behavior. Yeah. Their behavior is nationally televised, and it is really, fueled by the internet on mass every single year. And no one has changed. No, I know if like a little red ink on the wall is going to do anything.

But, you know, have fun trying. So Bronwyn's like, well, you know, people with the least marks all buy a prize. You stick to your commandments and you know what I mean? You know what I mean, guys? And Heather's like, wait a minute. So that means we win. I'm already in the lead. And Angie's like, I'm not getting a prize.

And Bronwyn's like, I'm just hoping this year. humility and embarrassment will turn some of this behavior around. Yeah, again, no, that's, that's, no, you're dope. So Heather's like, well, I don't want any checks. I want to have my record clean and pure. Let's give Lisa more checks. And then she can say, I didn't do that. Dismiss, dismiss, dismiss, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed.

Then we hear echoes of, dismiss, dismiss, dismiss, dismissed, dismiss. Dismissed, dismissed. So they go outside and Angie's, there's not much room between. the door and the pool. So Angie's like walking along the ledge and acting like she's going to fall off the building. And everyone's like, oh, God, this is funny. Do you see Angie? She's walking along the ledge. Hilarious. I feel like I am Joseph Smith back in the pioneer days coming across a lake and not wanting to fall in. Oh, dear God in heaven, please save us and the sisterhood. And then we find out it's a Mother's Day again because, you know, Whitney comes out.

She's like, happy Mother's Day. And so they're all wishing each other, happy Mother's Day. And Heather is saying, best Mother's Day ever. I mean, honestly, I know I'm not supposed to say that, but Mother's Day, I mean, on a girls' trip with no responsibilities, every Mother's Day should be like this. Um, Britney is like, well, Mother's Day is usually Bittersweet for me, and so it's nice being around other mothers, but at the same time, it's a little difficult seeing how other mothers relate to their kids in an uncomplicated normal way when I have a really complicated, nuanced relationship.

Um, is it complicated or did you just abandon her for several years? I mean, I think, like, you've had a few chances to simplify that situation and, um, and you haven't. So Britney's like, can I point something out? Just like, we're light and bright and having. fun and there's one person that's missing. I wonder who that is. Yeah. So you're blaming Meredith for not being there for you guys to pound her and like jog pile her. Then you're like, wow, it's so fun without Meredith. Not for long because you all won't have a toy for very long. Leave her alone. Leave her alone for too long and

they'll be coming for you next. Madame. That's right. So let's see. So, Heather is, you know, really upset about Meredith still. And so she tells a really damning story about Meredith. She's like, this morning, I saw her. I was trying to make coffee, but the coffee machine was broken. And she was very maddish. She was very maddish. I could tell.

I could just tell she was going to get mad because she tried to get coffee. And Angie said it's broken. And then Angie was trying to fix it. And Meredith was so mad. Heather been around someone who drinks coffee before? Like, this is a normal emotional response to the coffee machine being broken. You wake up in the morning, you're dealing with a whole bunch of bitches, you're tired, you're hungover, your jet lag. And all you are looking forward to is just a nice little cup of coffee.

And then the coffee machine's broken on what's supposed to be some sort of five-star luxury, you know, accommodation. So, yeah, I would be mad too. Yeah, don't take it. Don't take it personally. You know, she's mad at the coffee. Jeez. She's mad at the curing. Who hasn't been there?

Yeah, who hasn't been? Everyone, like, half the point of coffee is that, like, coffee makes you feel better because and then when it's not there for you, you're grumpy. And that's just how coffee is. That's, that's coffee culture. Yeah, but it's also Heather's like, wow, I just yelled at her at dinner again last night after she tried to give me a peace offering. I wonder why she's still mad.

This is so crazy. Like, I'm going to enrage somebody and then I'm going to act like a huge victim when they're mad the next day, which. you know, is typical. So she's like, you know, Meredith refuses to acknowledge my experience and last night's dinner was no different. I mean, I just shouldn't keep having the same discussion, I guess. But I'm just holding out how the Meredith will swallow her pride for the sake of our friendship. She just wants coffee, okay? So Brittany is like, Angie, okay, like, what are we doing? What's happening next? And Angie's like, well, first we need to find Meredith. So Mary goes

into find her and Angie's like Lisa Bromwin, Mary and myself are going to ride donkeys. Oh my god are you kidding? Are we really? Oh my gosh. Like we're really going to like go ride donkeys? That's like crazy right now. Oh my God. I love that. I love a donkey. I thought I would put

asses on asses. These are two asses. And then Meredith, Brittany, Heather and Whitney's like, well, that's an interesting combo. She's like, yes, are going to Greek cooking class. And Whitney's like Why do you hate me all of a sudden?

Even though I'm really frustrated with Meredith, it might be nice to spend some good one-on-one time with her at cooking class. And then Brittany is like, Are there just not enough donkeys on the island for all of us? Like, what about me? So Whitney's like, yeah. Because every time Meredith opens her mouth, Lisa's typing in and,

um, uh, wait, what happens when Meredith talks? I'm confused. So now we go to Mary, Mary, uh, seeing if Meredith's okay. And Meredith is in full-on victim mode, where her head is completely tilted to the side. And she's just looking down, shaking her head, like, so she's like, are you okay?

She's like, well, I'm very tired. I'm being treated like I'm a piece of dirt on the floor. Yes. If I'm going to be treated like a piece of dirt, please don't be dirt on the ground. I'd like to be dirt. on a seat. So Mary's like, well, so what do you want to do? Well, I really don't know. I mean, the good news is it's Mother's Day, and I know the sound of my toddler calling me from across an ocean is the only thing that will get me through the day, so that's something I'm going to look forward to quite a bit in the future. I'm just not in the mood to deal with them. They are mean girls, and they are mean, and that is it. So she's very tired of Whitney making these false accusations. And then we see a flashback to, oh yeah, I'll be. Alcoholic, pill popper. So good.

So Meredith is like, it's exhausting. They are damaging and she needs to worry about herself and her whole life and stop projecting it on to me. It's giving me like, and Meredith is like, well, I don't think she's taking accountability for how she hurt you. Well, she didn't hurt me, Mary, because I don't care what she thinks. It's what right you're not, and you're standing here. It's like, uh-oh, Meredith is in rare form today. They finally broke her. I mean, I think Meredith came on this trip, you know, doing her whole like,

look what I got a necklace. It's like trying to be nice and trying to put everything past her and just start over, and people were not having it. So now they've broken her. She's a broken doll. They've broken her neck things or her head is tilted down the whole time, just kind of bobbing. You know, they've broken. They've literally broken.

this is this is such a great meredith marks episode i mean this is meredith marks having a pity party is one of my favorite versions of her i think we talk a lot about meredith marks getting angry and yelling at someone but like her this entire episode is she's so funny every single thing she does and the way she is so melodramatic it really brought a smile to my face yeah um so then we go to brahmun and ang and they're talking about donkeys and of course angie's already done this okay sean and electra and i wrote them last time we were here it was so fun you're gonna love it and so you know now we get the activity time and lisa's late so they start leaving her but

she's coming and she's like well are you going to have me like walk alone on the streets of grace come on you guys yeah she's already done in the last episode so we know she's already done in the last episode so we know she'd be fine. I would be fine with Elisa Solo on a donkey episode. Really? Oh my God. She was just like,

where are we going? I'm like on a donkey. Like literally like where's this donkey going? So then they they get into the sprinter van. By the way, I want to point out the sprinter van. I think it's such a cool sprinter van.

It's got like these tan seats with interesting stitching on and they face each other. They got a little table. I really enjoy it. Just an observation, Ronnie. That's all up. Into the sprinter van.

Yeah. Yeah, I just want to give like a little sprinter van review. You know, we're so used to the standard sprinter van set up. I enjoyed this one. So they get in. I think it's difficult having that kind of sprinter van because if you have more people than are supposed to fit in the van, you know how sometimes you can just fit more people. Like if you get an Uber large or whatever and you're trying to get like 10 people in instead of eight, you can always slide over on the seats. But this one is like individual seats and they're like, no, you will not get more seats.

So I felt like the sprinter van was like, no, Ronnie. and his drunk friends in Palm Springs, you'll have to get two of me. And so I was like, fuck off, Springer, man. But I do appreciate the nice individual, you know. I mean, it depends on who's there trying to slide in next to you, I guess.

I just, I gave it points for looking a little different from our standard Sprinter van. You know, this is the Sanarini Sprinter Van. Which is funny, because they can't really sprint that fast. It is Greek. So they get in, and of course, this cast does its best work in a Sprinter van. So they get in, and Lisa is pointing everyone.

And it's like, so you're going cooking, cooking, cooking, donkey cooking, donkey cooking. And Heather's like, Meredith, how do you feel about the groups? How do you feel about this arrangement? Do you want to get mad? Should we talk about it? Do you want to talk about your friend where I don't even know where we stand? And Merrick is like, well, about the groups of who I'm going with. I am not feeling very positive, which is why I'm going to look into the seat belt to the side of me

and just stare into it stitching and hopefully find some solas there. Well, it is in hopes of positive outcomes. I mean, if you guys all, where's that tension in the group? If you gather and you make amends, then the rest of the trip won't be, the rest of the trip can be fun if you make amends. And so she's like, wow, you know, I'm doing her a favor because donkeys are very sensitive.

They could kick her off. I would, at the same time, I feel like we are robbed of seeing Meredith Marks on a donkey. I feel like it would be like a Countess the Wann on the camera, moment. It's like, because she does bray as well, you know. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappin's commercial. Well, ever since the playing, it's clear that how I speak is not okay. No one wants to hear what I have to say. I've been told not to speak. I've been challenged on whether or not have seen the rest of crazy rich Asians

and I've explained that I fell asleep. I wasn't even aware that there was Mahjong in it. But I've been told, that the way I speak isn't good enough and apparently I'm too educated and I speak too eloquently and I guess I'm just like the wrong one here. I mean, I was laughing at that. Apparently I'm too educated and speak too eloquently and even have a discussion with you. Yeah, like they never said that, but I love that. I love that that's how it is in her head. Like you were just too intelligent, Meredith, please, please stop being so eloquent. How are we supposed to

with this well it has nothing to do with your education i too am educated it had to do with the fact that you're being pretentious and not connecting with me as a friend you were dictating to me you were like teaching me it was condescending

and i did imitate you because it was fucking frustrating and it's not my job to get you to be a friend to me it's a sisterhood oh god so she gets a phone call it's like uh mom mom her ring is Just Brooks saying, Mom, Mama, Mama.

Oh, Brick's first word. So she gets on the phone in her mommy voice. She's like, um, hi, honey, honey. And Brittany's like, she's taking a phone call. I can't believe this. Yes, honey, I did mash up some sweet potatoes and left them in the fridge for you, honey. I miss you too, honey.

I wish I was there to be to myself. And then she's just like, you know, she's like, It's my son, wishing me a happy Mother's Day. I'm sure you can all understand. Did you put the little ring on top of the big ring on top of the bigger ring? So the producer is asking Heather, well, she picked up a call in the middle of your argument. I mean, wow, what do you think of that, Heather? She's like, um, hold on.

My daughter is called us well. sweetie, sweetie. I know you're 22, but you must have, you just have to smooth the dollar out before you put it into the machine, okay? You too, darling. Happy Mother's Day to you. I'm sorry, was that bothering you? Was that bothering you? Yeah, except the thing is that your version of it, Ronnie, somehow was a fraction of the length as Heather's version. This thing went on for so long. Listen, as someone who kills jokes regularly every single day, takes them too far, too long, and kills many a dead horses. Even I'm saying, whoa, Heather, this was going on, too. This was like, come on, let's, let's, let's, I was trying to do the audience of favor, okay. It went on. I was like, is this still going? Has her a little, is her a little bit still going?

Okay. And it's really funny because she gets, of course, supremely offended that Meredith takes this call. But I read Heather's first book. And in that book, she's complimenting Meredith on one of her traits being that no matter what is happening. She doesn't care if she's in the middle of a meeting. She doesn't care if she's in the middle of a meeting. She doesn't care if she's in the middle of dinner with friends wherever she is if the kids call Meredith Answers on the first ring. And that was something I just remember always thinking was so funny because when we first met her, well, when I first met her a couple years ago, that's what she did.

It was like, we were talking. It was like three people talking and she's like, uh-huh, and here's, well, here's how I feel about it. Oh, hold on. Broxy, hi, hi, hi, honey. She just picks it up right there and talk. So they all know that she does this And it's Mother's Day So now they're gonna make this the biggest deal

And be like, I can't believe you are taking a phone call After we just tried to start a fight with you Over the same thing we've been fighting about for six weeks How dare you, ma'am So then Meredith does the next great thing Which is that she then litigates this whole matter In front of Brooks. She goes, well, honey, I love you

But I'm getting yelled at to hang up the phone on Mother's Day Which is today and I am a mother and you are a child and this is me fulfilling my mother's age, you know, sure, sure. I mean, instead of us talking, I guess I just have to hang up on my toddler. Thanks a lot, ladies. So she hangs up and everyone's super awkward

because now Meredith is going to be the biggest victim in the world's about it. So she's like, well, I want to be with my family and I don't want to be here right now. That's how I feel. She does this movement a lot where she puts her hand flat out

And then she, like, puts her fingers back in, like she's saying, come back, come back. And that's my favorite Meredith thing. That's who gets mad. She's like, she's like, well, I'm marrying himself right now, and I'd like to talk to my family. I've never noticed that, but that's totally right. She's like, oh, look at this. The finger is coming back. I'm trying to bring Brooksie back on the phone.

Unfortunately, I'm not able to. And so when she says she just wants to talk to her children, then Heather and Brittany are rolling their eyes. and Lisa's like, well, I'm happy in Greece, just saying, like, love you, Jack and Henry bye. Huh. So, Merth's like, it's very normal to take a phone call, and I just wanted a couple of minutes to hear a happy Mother's Day from my son, because it was the only opportunity I'd have to speak to him in the next 24 hours, and then after that, who knows what might happen, but that's fine, it's just Mother's Day, and I'm just a mother, both, you know, literally and figuratively, and I do have a lot of people saying, mother, to me.

me, so I don't know I'm not getting more phone calls for more gay people, but that's okay, too. I guess I wouldn't be allowed to speak to them either. Is Mother Day a separate holiday? I don't know. Look, I'm upset because I felt like I got raked over the coals,

and I felt like all of my track record was thrown out the window, and it totally crushed me. And then you never could even, like, deeply apologize or see that it hurt me. You talked your way out of it. You made it seem like it was quid pro, quid, which doesn't even make sense here when it absolutely wasn't and that's okay we all fuck up I will maybe step outside my comfort zone and say I fucked up I'm sorry and I love you I love you

and I do not want to put our friendship at risk but I did not get that from you and it makes me question when the next morning I wake up and I'm still in trouble still getting cold shouldered like I'm in trouble for you not being okay and I'm not okay you are okay what are you talking about? You started this fight and you did it again last night. I don't know what in the world she's talking about that she's so victimized. That fight on the plane had nothing to do with you and you didn't even step in to help the girl who was supposedly so abused and you said you fell asleep three times. So I'm not really sure how you're victimized, but Heather's whole like, oh, I'm the one who's hurt and you won't even apologize to me.

What are you talking about? Now we've gotten to the point where Heather deserves an apology because Meredith called her a liar. That is, I can't. So Meredith is like, well, I am so sorry, and I don't know what to say. Yeah, I love, I love this, I love Meredith Marks doing the very serious monotone in sincere apology. Well, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say to that. I don't know.

But then is it just me you have tension with? I mean, it's Heather and Brittany, too, girls. You want to fight with Meredith now? I've already taken my turn. And Lisa's like, okay, you know what? Let's just talk about the real issue. Okay, Whitney, her feelings are hurt because, like, she's basically, I want to hear from Meredith.

I want to. You're doing it again. You're piping in on Heather's fight right now, as you always do. But you're doing it again. This is what I say happens every time she goes gray rock and you pick it up and you speak for her. What? I didn't pick up a rock. No, I'm just saying like what you mean because this is why we're gray rocking because nobody says what they mean. That's all I am doing. It's Mother's Day and I had to hang up on Brooks. See, that's it. But why do you feel like I'm always after you, Meredith? I don't know. I don't know with me. Why would that be? She's just like, you are with me. That's why. You can't say that I am because I'm not. You're spreading rumors that I have mental health or substance abuse issues, and I'm not interested in your opinions anymore.

Well, it seems like you are, though. And Heather's like, Meredith, don't be an ice queen. Like, feel with your heart what your friend is saying to you. Maybe fill with your heart that she doesn't like being accused of having substance abuse issues. That's what she just said. Why is that not enough for you? She has to be crying. Like they say, say what you feel.

She says what she feels. And then they're like, no, you have to be crying while you say it. What do you people want? What do you want? You're breaking Meredith. Yeah. She's like, well, she's projecting lies onto me. And I'm not interested in the eyes.

There, you said it. Yeah. When he's like, I'm not projecting lies onto her. What am I? A film projector and the movie is lies. Ah. And Brittany's like, but that's her experience. Oh, who cares?

I'm so sick of this, like, but that's my experience. Your experience is wrong, and you're telling it wrong, okay? Like, you don't get to lie and then just be like, oh, it's my experience. So that's the true opinion. No, your experience sucks. There, that's my argument. So Lisa's like, well, okay, because there's more silence. Because Whitney goes, can you just please help me understand why you feel that way?

And Lisa says, because you called her a palpoper, okay, and you said she's a cheater. I mean, duh. It's like, but I want to hear from Meredith. I'm on a hair from Meredith. Lisa, this is so unfair for me. Well, I'm sure you do want to hear from me, Whitney, and I'm sorry that you feel well. That's all I can give you.

But you just said that you called her, you were accusing her of having substance abuse. She already said it. She said a full sentence, and she said why she's mad at you. Why do you need her to stay 10 more times? Yeah. So then they arrive.

they drop off all the people who are going to the cooking class, which of course is Heather and Whitney and Meredith and then Brittany. And then Meredith just like walks off because the rest of them go to the cooking class. Meredith is like, I'm going to walk in this direction until I get to wherever I need to get to and that's what I'll do. So the rest of them go meet Giovanni,

their cooking instructor. And while they're all getting situated, we keep cutting back and forth to like the happiness of like, oh, welcome, welcome to the cooking class. And then Meredith's been like, cluck, cluck, cluck. She, like, sniffles her way down the streets of Santa Rang to figure out cobblestones in her heels. She's like, all right, well, this is not as easy

as I thought it would be. I'm gonna tell you that right now. And Heather, you know, gets there with her over-exaggeration with Giovanni. She's like, what, Giovanni? Your name is Giovanni? This is crazy. We're gonna cook everybody with Giovanni.

He's Greek. Giovanni, he's like. He's like Zeus. I mean, he's like, he's not the Greek god I imagine, but he will definitely do. Like, okay. Our friend Angie is Greek and her family's from Crete. And he's like, oh, really? Well, we have a lot to talk about later.

She's going to be joining us later. And hopefully Meredith will have joined. Maybe she went off to ride the donkeys. Yeah, donkey riding in a miniskirt would be itchy. Then we cut to Meredith. with, clap, clap, happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. And this little yellow car stops,

and I thought the little yellow car was gonna pick her up and she was gonna get in it. And I was really hoping for that, but she didn't, it just kept passing her. I was like, get out of the road! Get out of the road, motherfuckers. Like, well, at least somebody said mother to me today. Wow.

So over the donkeys, they're arriving, They're talking to, like, the donkey owners. And Lisa's like, oh, my God, hi. Nice to meet you. How are you? Are the donkeys? No, it's like, yes, but of course. But, of course.

They bite? Yes, of course. And then finally, Angie's like, translates, because he has no idea what she's saying. He just doesn't translate. Lisa keeps going, tell him, but I don't think he understands. Angie, ask him if it bites. And he goes, does it bite? And he's like, no, yes, of course.

And she goes, no, bite. Yes, of course. bite. Yes, of course. I was like, Angie, it's not Greek to just keep saying the same English word over and over to the Greek person. And she's like, listen, my five words of Greek do not cover this situation. I just love that when Lisa asked, does it bite? He's so happy, like, yes, of course. Like, you came here to get bitten, right? That's like part of the appeal. The customer is always right. You just say yes to anything. So Lisa's like, is this a boy or a girl. I don't even know. I won't, I won't write a boy.

And he's like, they're both girls. And she says, yeah, I've never been on a donkey before. She looks like a snippy little bitch. But she's beautiful. And he goes, oh, thank you. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, too. She's like, oh, my God, thank you.

The donkey's like, one moment, I'm getting a phone call from my toddler. Hi. Oh, I guess I'm sorry. I guess I have to do a donkey ride now. But it's the only time I can speak to my child. That's okay. Oh, no. It's hard not to.

look cute when you're standing next to an ass. So they start riding and Lisa says, what do you call a donkey that has a degree? A smart ass. Okay, what do you call a donkey that has a degree and keeps lifting up its shirt at parties because they're male-centered?

A good time, smart ass. Yeah, yeah. I love how Lisa brings out all her good material for the donkeys. It's like, yeah. What do you call? This is the happiest we've seen Lisa all season is with the donkeys.

What do you call it? When you're in a car and you're about to, like, go into a different lane and then a donkey puts its hoof on the wheel and it's like, stop it. It's called driver assessed. Assessed. Get it, guys? Driver assessed. That is a good one. When my dad lived in his village, this was the transportation that they had.

They didn't even have cars. This is how they got around on donkeys. Uber Eats took a long time back then. and he would pack the mule with groceries and walk it 17 miles down a mountain when he was 10. So that's what I wanted to bring the ladies to... Listen, that's great. I don't want to experience this.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm glad... I'm sad that your dad went through that, but can we go to Disneyland now? Seriously. I would love it if, like, Louis was just, like, lying to Angie all these times. Like, when Angie was, like, a little girl and she wasn't doing her chores, that he was like, you do your chores.

You know, when I was your age, I walked 70s. Did miles with a donkey with groceries on its back. And it's like totally like a lie just to get her to do her like to the dishes. Yeah. When Angie refused to get milk on the way home from school, he's like, Oh, really? Hard for you. Try 17 miles on a donkey up a canyon.

Oh, you can't pick up the milk. Oh, I'll tell you who picked up the milk. I did every single day with donkey on its back. 17 miles. 17 miles. And you know, it was like re-blocks. But he's like 17 miles. This is important.

to me because for me it is much deeper because it is a glimpse of my dad's childhood and I pictured this 10 year old little boy and how grateful he was just to have a donkey while we drive Porsches and range rovers. We're so blessed.

We're so blessed with our lives. I love, um, it's like a peep show. It's like a peep show when they have a moment of introspection and gratitude. Like the thing comes up and you see the gratitude and then the shield comes all the way back down again. They just go back to being materialistic and self-centered.

Like, wow, that was a, that's real, wow, can you imagine, we take for granted that we drive these Porsches. Anyway, let's get back to, let's get back to, we're going into our, it's like poverty. It's like, wow, remember a time when people didn't have iPhones, look at the poor people, take a picture. Okay, let's go back to the resort. Yeah, let's go back. Then Mary is on her a donkey, and she's like, um, is anyone else not enjoying this besides

me? He's like, why are we on a donkey? Why? And you like him, Mary. Why? Why, Mary? And she's like, well, I just feel bad for this little boy. I mean, like, I'm on his back.

It's so nice to hear somebody say that because these people do not need us on the back. And you remember when the cast of Shaw's went on, like, horses? I think they went horseback riding. And I was like, you know what? This cast does not need you all on them. This cast of horses. It was a crossover event. You're abusing the horses at this one.

Okay. Yeah. So Mary is a 10 courses on camera. They like literally just ate 10 courses and then they get on a horse. You know those horses. Mary tells us, I didn't see Greece coming with riding a donkey. Like you've got all these beautiful views. You got the water.

And my outfit's cute. I like cute. But I'm on donkey. Why did you do this to me? So now we go back to the cooking class and this chef Georges comes out. I mean, I don't know if it's actually pronounced as Georges, but I feel like anyone named, anyone who's a chef should just pronounce George instead of George

and Heather is like So tell us everything What are we making today Pray tell what is Zeus From Mount Olympus What has he brought down for us Is it Ambrosia Is it wine?

Is it grapes? Please take us into your land And perhaps bring us back To the Council of the gods Like okay ma'am Okay we're just making Musaka That's it It's just Musa

It's like Well it's Greek Musaka To be specific He's like It's Greek Musaka Oh, thanks for the specificity. And that there's like, are you kidding? We get our own little musakas that we get to make.

We're making our own musakas. Wow. Wow, girls. Like, they know. They're all there. Why are you announcing everything like you're a game show host? Just let them make a fucking musaka for Christ's sake, lady. Yeah.

And so then we hear the, so here comes Meredith. In classic Meredith form, the classic walk-off. Walk back. Yeah. Head tilted, hair just kind of swinging in the wind. She's kind of moving it out of her way and her big, she's like, I guess I'm here.

I had no choice. But to go back because I'm stranded on the rise, it's not exactly what I want to do. But where else am I going? I can't walk back. You're going to make a Musaka, or as Brooksie likes to call it, mom's soccer. Actually, what he says is mom's so cool,

which is sort of like Musaka, if you think about. So Giovanni's like, mom's, mumsoka, mom's like, oh, hello, my name is Giovanni, Georgia, our service here, beautiful lady, come, please join the beautiful cooking lesson. And she's like, wow, lovely. Thank you for welcoming me. Hush tones, Hush tones mode has been activated. Thank you very much for inviting, thank you. I appreciate it for inviting me and welcoming me.

Oh, do this, does this musaka need to be seasoned with the salts of my tears? Because I'll be over here crying in the corner. Commercials, here comes one right now. Okay, well, yamas, yamas, so they all do it and they drink and Meredith doesn't. She's like, well, I'm glad they can enjoy their wine while their friend is living in misery as their baby toddler. It doesn't get to speak too. So now they cook, and, you know, Heather's still freaking out that she's... Sicking Musaka in a little terrain.

So Giovanni, this guy's actually so nice. He sees that one of the people at the table is clearly upset. So he sort of goes over to her, and he's like, what is happening? Are you okay? I'm okay. Thank you very much. You're very gracious. Can I help you?

Honestly, how can I help you? You're very kind, but unfortunately, some of the women haven't been. been so kind and I'm sad and I miss my son on Mother's Day and I won't get to talk to him. It's just, it's very, very sad. Thank you. Well, the wine makes us so happy, which is hilarious. You're telling a table of women that wine makes you happy. You're telling a table of mothers that wine makes you so happy. Trust me, they know.

But he's also telling her right after they've been accusing her of being an alcoholic. So she's like, well, it'd be nice to have something that can make me happy without my friends calling me an alcoholic right here on national television. So you enjoy your wine, Giovanni. Okay, but some of us are not so lucky a mother's day. Well, Giovanni, or should I say Zeus from up high on Mount Olympus, she's not happy. No, I'm not happy. Not happy, Giovanni. I'm not happy at all. Don't please, don't ask any questions why. I'm just not happy. Very sad in the corner. It's going to be okay, man. No, it's not going to be okay, because Bronx is on a flight, and I will not speak to him on Mother's Day.

It is a 37-hour flight someplace where you will never be able to speak to me again, and that was my only chance to talk to him, and I'm sad. And that's the one thing that's very important to be, and I'm hurt, and I'm very sad. Circumavating the globe, and a plane is trying to set a world record for most hours that a toddler has been around the moon and more around the Earth, and I will not get to talk to him before his monumental flight. It's just very sad, and I think I'm allowed to be sad for Brooksie. By the way, Brooksie is the one who booked a flight on Mother's Day. Brooksie is the one who is that fault here. Brooksie should be waiting there until he does not get on a plane

until he has a good conversation with his mother. I rescheduled my flight so I could say, hey, mom's up. That's all I mean. And then Brittany has the nerve to go, well, I didn't get to talk to my kids for three years. You abandoned yours. So please, please stop. You're lucky they even let you talk about Mother's Day on this show because you should be banned. Yeah, it doesn't really work that way.

Meredith says, well, of course, it's all about you. Okay, wonderful. Well, at least you have a daughter who can call you, but my son is now he's trapped in the sky. And now I will not be able to talk to him. So thank you very much. Yeah. So Brittany's mad. And she's like, really?

I mean, she can't even feign happiness for a sweet host. I mean, like, he's working his little heart out. I mean, it just feels like Meredith is using this not being able to talk to Brooks thing. It's a deflection to not have to answer hard questions. She's answered the questions. Here's what's happening. You guys won't stop, and now she's going to make you pay for it for the rest of the episode. Is it fun?

For me, personally, yes. Is it fun for the group? No, but you guys, you guys sewed it. Reep it. Reap it. Suckus. You got soda. But, so Whitney's like, I'm sorry you missed the opportunity.

So now over by the donkeys, Lisa's like, I wonder how cooking's going. I wonder if they're able to make as many funny jokes about asses the way I have. Because asses are like, hey, you know what I said to the, my accountant? I said, hey, you, you could, you're like a donkey that's in a chair. You're dealing with ass sits. Got it? Ha! Um, and Bronwood's like, I can't imagine it's going well.

mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-well you know what i feel like these little things become exacerbated like you know what there's situations that can be resolved in conversation you know what all you need to do is get like some some poster boards and just like write stuff on them and put them in front of people's faces because people here can't read poster boards that's not a solve a fight you know but it can be overwhelming if you're in it yeah well um the thing is in the friendship you have to be comfortable being fallible, sort of like how when Heather asked me if Todd made out with someone and farted, I was like, I don't want to talk about this. It's like, that's what I'm talking about, being comfortable, being fallible. And like, just be palpable, you know, or call everybody a liar and say that you never said that in the first place. That would be fun. That's a good one to do. Or just tell them that it's sealed. Just say the case is sealed. Mm-hmm. That's how to do it. I'm just being fallible. And as people, we make mistakes. Sometimes we take the cherry off the person and we loves the Nas split before they're ready to have the cherry.

And if someone, if you want to have deep friendship with someone, you just have to let them see the parts that aren't good. And as hard as it is, she also has to own what she said and not just wait for you to come to her rescue and talk her way out of it for her because you have been helping her and maybe you should step back so she has to find a voice. Yeah, it's just like so hard for me to step back. It's like really hard, just mainly because like my heels don't like

support that kind of movement. And Andy's like, but she wants you to keep doing that for her. And so she doesn't have to do it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's the thing. Meredith and Heather have to figure it out for themselves. If they're going to have a front relationship, you can't figure it out for them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I hear what they're saying. But like, it's going in one ear and not the other ear because I'm like a real loyal friend. I'm never going to stop defending, you know, that that, that, that horror who poses, like the poses that poses with her family of posers. I'm never going to stop defending her.

It's like the biggest woman in New York. I love her. Yeah, yeah. Slept half of him in Hun. Well, yeah, she's like, she's like a great, I'm like a great friend to her, and she's like a great friend to me.

Mary's like, I don't know. Something is off with Meredith. I feel like something is off. So now the donkey ride girls, girls, the donkey riding girls go to the cooking class. And Heather's like, oh my God, it's the girls from the donkey ride. Can you believe in everybody? They smell like donkey.

They trekked from high and low across lands of plenty through sun, through rain, and they have made it here to greet us with their friendship. It's like, oh my God. Relax. You know what? I love donkey riding so much. I love my donkey. I love to egg.

I have five now. Yeah. Well, I thought we had fun. But you guys came back out twice as much energy as us. Did they feed you guys Musaka, too? Well, they're outlapping us on the front fund department. And Mary's like, so did you guys talk? I mean, you didn't get anywhere.

You didn't talk? And others like, well, Meredith expressed it. She was expressed upset about Mother's Day. You want to talk about that part, Meredith? So talkative today. Why don't you talk about it, Meredith? Well, just that I'm not going to get to talk to my son and just made me say, I'm going to shrug to show how sad I am

Because it's been a bit of a rough day And it would have been nice for me to talk to Brooksie But I didn't get to I love that by the way, Chloe's like not a factor here It's like At Ornor's Reed It's like well you know you could You can still speak to Chloe and Reed

Not as good as Brooksie He's like really the most fun on the phone Like I'm just if I'm not talking to Brooksie Why even bother with the other two I mean they're all slicing a lemon together right Yeah And Seth goes Oh you're sad about your children

Well, join the club, Meredith. You're not in that club. You're so happy to not be around the kids, you say. Yeah. So she's like, but you're not that true. What you're really upset about is all of it. She goes, well, of course I am, and that's what I was telling you, Heather.

Yeah, well, when it comes to your emotions, I think it really has nothing to do with Mother's Day. And it has to do with, like, our feelings and our relationships and our friendships. Well, am I allowed to just be, like, upset for, like, five minutes? Okay, I tried to walk away. And it was very difficult cobblestone street, so I had to come back here and cry. But you don't get to use that as a detour. So we're all begging you to be a part of the group again, Meredith.

And I'm here. I'm just showing up for my girl and having a great time because we knew we were going to be in Greece on Mother's Day. We all chose to be here. And Ron was like, it's not a surprise that it's Mother's Day. Okay, we knew we'd be here. Okay, they even arranged for us to be able to give someone a Bob, just so we could feel like mothers again. You know what? I'm going to say this on Bravo again because not enough people are saying ground zero.

So let's just go back to ground zero. Come on, guys. Does you know, is it, why do people keep saying that? Let's go back to square one. Is it square one? I think yes. Let's go back to square one would work better, but ground zero is just not good. The place of the destruction, you know.

Yeah. And that's where, sorry, go ahead, Ben. That was, I was supporting you. so we don't need to... Oh, thanks for the support. You're a real donkey. So, you know what? That's where Whitney and Meredith

are not getting along because Whitney feels like one way and then Meredith feels another way. That's just that. Lisa's hilarious because everything... She's now trying to chime in and sound more neutral but she's just saying generic things.

Yeah, guys, Meredith feels one thing and Whitney feels another thing. See, look, I'm very neutral. And so Whitney's like, What I said about you, Meredith. Look at me. What I said. about you pill-popping and alcoholism

is a very slippery slope and it's not appropriate and I'm sorry I'm sorry that I called you those names Meredith I'm sorry look at me look Meredith just goes

Okay great she does She goes At the end I never should have called Meredith those things but it doesn't take away my concern for my friend.

She's like, well, I never should have called her an alcoholic and a pillow popper, but she is, so whatever. What she should have said was I needed to say something extreme to get your attention, which is I thought what she was going to say it, but instead she's like, no, I just shouldn't have said it. So, and she's like, Opa, there we go, making headway. And actually Giovanni goes, Opa, yamas. So they cheer.

And Angie's like, now the man, now that's the man, you should be looking to. to get a phone number from and Heather's like How do you know that I don't already? Did you see his Rolex? We've been hooking up. What? What's your version of hooking up? Mine is just hanging out.

What? Why would you think that we had sex? Sorry I was missing for a while, guys. I was fucking around with Giovanni. Did I say that? So now they can get ready for dinner. And they're back in the Sprinter van. And Lisa's like, I keep almost falling asleep.

Is anyone else tired? Is anybody else tired? I'm like, if they were tired, they're probably, you're probably waking them up again by, like, are you tired? Are you tired? Heather's like, nope, not one bit. Just ready to run a fucking marathon. I mean, Whitney's like, are you ever going to shower? And when he goes, yeah, but are you? And it's like, when he's like, I realize I have to apologize to Meredith because I've got bigger fish to fry here, which is that Heather smells like fried fish at the moment.

Can we just get out of the shower? shower. I'll put all my fights aside if we can just get Heather to take a shower. I shower every day. I do it when you're not in the room. A 10 to 2 in the shower. That's what I do. I'm just, I should say a 102. 102 in the shower. What if that even mean? Hamerith does a 1012 every time. And she shouts it from the rafters. 10.1 2. I mean, Heather clearly learned some sort of slang because I've never heard this before. 1012. I only know of 6.7. 6 7. 6 7 in Greece. So what do you think this means? I mean, we find out that number one is peepy and number two is pooh, which we already knew. But do you think 10 is like 10 minutes in the shower?

I think so. But also, why are you doing a two in the shower? Well, I think it just means I'm going peep, I'm going poop, and I'm taking a 10 minute shower. Like maybe they say that because they're like, okay, guys, we're leaving in 20 minutes. Okay, well, I'm doing a 10-1-2, so I should be out in time. I guess. I kind of like that, a 10-1-2. Yeah, I'm just going to do a, I'm just going to pee, poop, shower, and I'll be right back out.

Take a quick shower. Now, here's a hot take. I won't dwell on this because I know this is not your favorite subject matter. But if you're doing the two, you're kind of doing the one at the same time, right? Why does the one even have to? Oh, I see, never mind. I was thinking the 10-1-2. I'm so stupid.

I was thinking like a one-minute pee and a two-minute poop. But it's just saying the one. It's confusing because the 10 is referring to time, but the one and the two are referring to the It's all clear in my mind now. Everyone, we can move forward. National Nightmare is over. Well, I don't know if that's correct that the 10 means 10 minutes in the shower. I'm just assuming it's that.

I don't know. Is the 10 just shower? Is that code for shower? Do we have, it's like we have to look up in the shower? Yeah, I don't know what it is. Oh, 10 is actually doing your nails. Yeah, it could be. I mean, who knows?

So now they're trying to talk. And Heather's like, so what is a 10-1-2? Tell her, Meredith. And she's like, hey, I mean, pee. No, 1012 is a pee and a poo. She goes, oh, well, I thought about, I forgot about the two part. I only do the 10-1. I don't poop. Everybody is trying to, and Meredith is trying to sleep. She has, like, her head against the window, and she's like, she won't open her eyes. She's like, maybe if I just pretend like I'm talking in my sleep, they'll just shut up and leave me alone.

Two means poop. Good night. I like that she was like, well, I was sleeping. She like jerks her jaw. She does like a Christy, what's her name? Not Christy Alley. Ali Sheedy. In the bus. So they talk about this 10-1-2 thing a lot. And Bronwood's like, oh, Angie did the 10-2 before we went on the donkey? And I had to use the men's room because she was taking so long.

I did not. I did a five-second 10-1. And then your donkey did a big old 10-2. And then Mary's like, he did because mine not did one after Bronwyn's. And mine had a normal bowel movement. And he had diarrhea. And we see, like, footage of the donkeys pooping on the sidewalk. Oh, my God, it's so watery.

So, um, then they get home and they, they decide to have a pool day. So they're all getting into their swimsuits. Butler brings out flowers. They do have a butler. There you go. Oh, you're right. You're right. And they're having fun and just like, we have tequila.

And Lisa's like, I'm not drinking that. I only drink my own. It's like, it's okay, Lisa. You can drink a competitor's tequila when you're on vacation. We will not hold it against you. So I read that this was Angie is Angie has a partnership with some other tequila And so she's been trying to show her

Tequila all season, but they won't show it They keep cutting it out And Lisa's like, yeah, I'm not going to drink yours I only drink my own It's very Kathy Hilton for that to happen So Meredith comes out and she's in like a cute little number It's like a bathing soup But it's like a business it's like it's typical Meredith

Where it's like a bathing suit, but also looks like she could, like, have a meeting in it. And they're like, Meredith, wait a second. And then she take, they're like, that you're supposed to be wearing a bathing suit. And then she's like, oh, and hi. And then she drops the bottom part. And there's bikini bottoms on.

And she explains, hello, honey. My favorite, I do love the Meredith Mark's vacation pivot because she does this. I mean, I think season two, there were many vacation episodes where she was screaming at people. and then they just wind up in hot tub just like laughing and joking. She really can do it.

She can just turn it all around. She also has more business casual bathing suits than anyone I've ever seen. Like where do you even get those? Like she has like business suit baiting suits. It's so fucking funny that she pulls so many of them out. So now they decide they're going to have fun by doing a doggy paddle race,

which I don't think they know what doggy paddling means because they were breaststroke. This was not the baby paddle. I was so, well, it was really Whitney who was doing the breaststroke. because, like, this is not a doggy paddle at all. Like, you do not know what you're talking about. So they do it, and so it's Whitney, Meredith, and Brittany, which is shocking because Meredith is with her two sworn enemies of the season.

And now they're all happy that Meredith is happy. And then Meredith also cheats. And they're like, you cheated. She's like, I know, but you are going to win. And I got mad. And then she's like, I'm from Meredith's back. Yeah, so she gets flowers from, from broxie. Brox and Chloe.

And Lisa's like, oh, my God. And Jay, do you usually come here? Do you get any other cuisines other than Greek stuff? And she's like, well, Electra gets sushi. And Heather's like, Electra's rejecting everything, Greece, including the food. Now, she identifies as Greek. Well, right now she identifies mostly as just her horse stuff. I was like, I don't know if horse stuff is a nationality, but sure.

That's like her thing. That's her life. She's a teenager school friend. and then she rides five to six days a week or America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, like school friends, I remember those days,

sneaking many skirts into your bag. Did you guys ever change at school? I did all the time. I did it all the time. I did twice and I got busted the second time and I wanted to die. When did you have your first cuss? Do you guys remember when you had your first cuss?

Heather, tell us, tell us, tell us. And others like, yes, of course I remember. He was just before with Giovanni. I mean, we never kissed. Why are you guys saying that? Heather, Heather got one of the hottest guys in our school, and they dry humped. Wait, you dry humped? What?

You are a good time, girl. Meanwhile, we just see a close-up of Mary trying to eat a taco, and she's like, I don't think the shrimp is dewormed. I don't know if it just keeps eating it. I think she was talking about the boo-boo line. Yeah. I love that we pick up on these things. We're like, she's doing the breaststroke in the middle of the doggy paddle race.

And she's talking about the blind. So Angie's like, speaking of first kisses, Bronwyn, have you ever kissed a girl? Yes, yes. Oh, okay, okay. How many?

Wow. A handful. Did you fart? Did you fart? Did you fart? A handful. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Wow. Did you go to second pita? Yeah, I've done more than just kiss girls on their pita guys. Okay, I've done more. Wow, second base. You've done second beast? Oh, mm-hmm, well, I've done more than everybody here with a girl. How about that?

Are we clear? Can I get Whitney out here, please? Can I get Whitney out here? And Heather's like, I've never kissed a girl. Heather's like, I've never kissed a girl. We have morals. Yeah. Can we just roll the clip of the Black Eye Night when Heather and,

Jen Shaw were like wasted pressing, like lifting up their shirts and pressing their boobs each other and then making out. We just should show that. Yeah. Seriously. Your morals. So Whitney comes out and she's like, why do you need help? And well, they're asking

me if I've ever kissed a woman and I don't want to be the only person here with anything to share. So can you sit down and answer some questions? So she's then they like they kiss and he's like, how did I know that was coming? Oh! I've been told ever since my first kiss, that I'm a great kisser.

So, Brahmin, be kind of dry there, but if a pet got her excited, so none of you guys have kissed a girl? Have you guys ever kissed a very old man who likes, where are their originals? How about that? Like, no, no, we haven't. Would you want to? And Bernie's like, no, no, I've kissed hundreds, though, hundreds of women. No, of men.

You're talking about kissing women. Why are you saying I've kissed hundreds? And as if that, okay, well, whatever. So Brittany says that she's kissed hundreds of men. She has to remind you that men find her very, very attractive. That's all she's got. Yes. So she's kissed 367 men.

And he says like, how do you keep count on your Excel sheet? She's like, yes. So she's been keeping a little spreadsheet of men. Is it like kissing sessions or is it individual unique men? 367 is a lot of people. That's insane to keep a spreadsheet of the men you've kissed since college. Is that also like friendly kisses where you see someone you haven't seen in a while and you give them a kiss on the cheek? Or is it like full on romantic kiss?

That's a lot of people. I don't know. But I'm sure it's followed up by a lot of phone calls from Brittany going, are you going to call me? I'm just waiting for you to call. I'm just waiting. So Mary is like 300. That's how many people are in my church. And Heather's like, oh my God, what was the first rule you guys broke?

in your house growing up. Meredith's like, all right, story time. Well, I'm not sure that my mother knows this to the day, so I hope my mother never hears this. But my parents went on a huge trip. So I had an enormous party with all of my friends, and we got together, and we fucked, made out, ate each other,

fucked dudes, got pregnant, lit the fence on fire. Broke a dish We broke a dish And Brittany's like Ooh ooh well yeah I'm sorry mom And Heather's like

Jeeves bring us the glue I can't believe this story Okay well Heather I'm also like Yes it is it is ridiculous It is hilarious That that's the climax of the story But Heather's entire thing Her entire schick

Is that like she lived a very G rated existence and now she can make fun of Meredith For doing it no No Heather no No you'd be in shock And Bronman's like wow it only took her 40 years to admit she broke that dish. She'll be like 80 years old and saying,

hey, grandkids, guess what? I did something on a plane once. That was funny. So, um, Mary's like, so anyone else have any stories? And she's like, the Greek nightlife is calling. Should we go change? Get ready. Go out. 10-1-2, everyone.

10-1-2. So they're all going to like, get change. And Heather's like, what are we wearing? Are we going to the boardroom? Bikinis? Huh? No boardroom. Meredith do not dare come out in the blazer, which she does. I love that Meredith was like, well, I'm going to do what I'm going to do, which is where my blames are. So they get ready, and we see Angie and Mary getting ready, and Mary's going to stay in, and she's just tired and jet lag.

So she's just going to stay in. And then Bronwyn and Lisa are by the commandment chart, and Lisa's like, I love making these marks. I don't even know why we're doing it. Is this for how many Diet Coke we're ordering for tomorrow? Um, no, no. By the way, did you put this mark over here? Yeah, that's for Whitney. Like, move it over.

Put it on Whitney's, yeah. So, um, Heather's like, wow, Whitney, you look like an Australian pummelter or an Austrian pummel thrower. You look like you could do the shot put. And Whitney's like, oh, yeah, you better watch your face. And then she throws her gold bag across the room to hit Heather and it misses. And she's like, that was my prodig bag. Whoops, I broke it. um i don't is a pummel oh pummel through oh well i'm not even going to ask i was to say it's

pummel thrower a thing i know there's the pommel horse anyway i thought there was a shot putth thrower maybe she meant a shot putt i think yeah honestly i can't even make fun of hether for saying that because a number of times i use the wrong word in the wrong time you know i'm just as guilty so hether you're off the hook with your pommel reference um it says a pummel thrower isn't a standard term but likely refers to technique in combat sports or historical martial arts using the pommel for strikes. So, yeah, I think she just got it confused. Yes.

I was like, I will choose this moment not to be a typical person on the internet and rake her over the coals for saying pommel instead of shot put. I will let her go. You get away with this one, Heather. I got my eye on you. So they have this funny moment. And then they get into the sprinter van, my favorite sprinter van. I'd like to point out again. Oh, hold on a second.

I have to interrupt this podcast because I've got some information. the slang terms 10-1 and 10-2 are primarily walkie-talkie codes used in film production, but in other fields they're used for taking a bathroom break. A 10-1 refers to a quick or short bathroom break, urination, and a 10-2 refers to a longer bathroom break defecation. So I guess it doesn't have to do with a link of shower or a length of shower. I just added the shower in there. Yeah, I think it's just 10-1.

10-1, good buddy. We just tried to make them more efficient Be like they're gonna do it They're gonna take a shower I guess they probably hear a production be like Okay everyone we're gonna take a 10-1 We're gonna take a 10-1 10-1 everyone 10-1

They say 10-1 on the set Yeah So there you go everybody Rest well tonight Now you know the truth As we like to get to the truth Of certain things What does 10-1 mean? What does 10-2 mean

Is there such a thing as being a pommel thrower Okay yeah Don't say you don't come here to get educated So they're making fun of Whitney for how she's dressed because she looks ridiculous. I think they're trying to call her a Russian hooker. And Heather's like, Spetlana, how do you find America? And Lisa's like, oh, my God, you do look like a Svetlana. You do.

Is this like your Eastern European Olympian Spetlana? And this is her handler and agent. Yeah, if she gets messy, if she's like Shep-Faced, you can call her high body count and a drunk. So, yeah. So it turns out that this stupid little jokeyness, then leads to our next plot point because Brittany goes, guess what?

I trademarked high body count. And Angel's like, you did. It's like, Lisa's like, that's not yours. You can't trademark that. I stole it. And Lisa's like, oh my God,

I'm asking one of my attorneys, one of my seven attorneys if we can take our trademark. That's crazy. Brittany, why would you do that? Well, I'm the one who took it on the chin. That's why. But I think it's super embarrassing

that you would go and you would steal that from me. Um, that's a little hardcore. No. No. No. No, because it's embarrassing that you would take something and someone else said and that you would patent it. That is crazy.

I am the person who has not had a witty line other than ting, ting, ting, ting in her entire life. And she trademarks my line to try and make money off of my line. She's the side card on my car trying to get on my grapey trink. I love Angie's mixed metaphors. She's the side car on my car. They're doing some sort of Back to the Future Three thing where there's a gravy train and they're on like a little, she's like on a motorcycle and Brittany's on the sidecar

and they're going to jump onto the train, but it's a gravy train. Like that has nothing to do with the sidecar. Listen, I have to say, I think that like this is definitely Angie's phrase, but like that's on Angie. If she did not trademark that right away as it started to blow up, that's a bit on her.

Like she should have been on top of that. honestly, also on the trademark office, they're not supposed to just be handing out trademarks willy-nilly. Like, Angie didn't invent that either. I mean, if Angie went to the trademark office and tried to trademark high body count, she wouldn't be able to, she shouldn't be able to trademark that because that's been a term since the 80s. Like, why, like, I mean, I know that Angie made it popular on this show, but that, that term has been around for a long time. Most recently used, as we all know, in the Manosphere, you know, like those like Red Pill guys, I was like, oh, yeah, this is a high body count, whatever.

I've heard it there, too. But, I mean, I used to hear it, like, the 90s at least, like high school. I had never heard it before. So that's why it was so novel to me and so exciting. But either way, like, you know, I think it's shitty of Britney to do it. It's not the worst defense in the world because it's definitely, it's definitely Angie's thing. But this is not actually, if you think about it, this is not unlike Luann taking Giovanni and making it her thing. But, um.

Oh, it happened. Many, many times when they, on Potomac, when they said, oh, what about your husband? We heard he's called Happy Eddie, like flirting with people. And then they turned Happy Eddie. They trademarked that and turned it into their thing or the dungeon, Candy Sex Dungeon. She made a whole show based on Candy's Sex Dungeon, the lie about getting sex dungeon. So you got to pounce, pounce as soon as possible. In a Housewives, Court of Law, you'd lose that trademark.

Yep. And also in like real Court of Law, actually. So Heather's like, you're not flattered at all by it, Angie? She's like, not at all. But were you going to trademark it? And Brittany's like, sorry, all's fair in love and trademark. Sorry, Angie, don't be a sore loser. I mean, I don't know what.

Angie should have gone and trademarked. I have an announcement. Like, that should be the first thing to do. You can just trademark random words now. I love it because that's basically what it is. Like, I can't believe you could trademark that's nuts. That's literally. They can have a hostage exchange.

Yeah, I will give you, I have an announcement if you give me high, body count here. I'm not that mad. I just think it's kind of embarrassing and weird that you would do that. But I'm just I'm the one that had the hair rat in. She goes, oh, so you think people want their hair to look like this? Is that what you're saying?

Like they're going to buy your hair product? I mean, come on, Brittany. Well, what's wrong with my hair? I love my hair. Your hair's gotten better. It's still way too long for your age. No offense. Yeah, when I look at you, it makes me want to cut my hair. Because when I see

Britney's hair. I'm like, oh my God, my hair's almost as long as Britney's, and I just think it looks cheap. I'm not even lying. Oh my gosh, you think my hair looks cheap? Yeah, I do. Yeah, it makes me want to cut my hair or take a length off a little bit, so I just don't look as awful as you do. So rude. So now they arrive at a place called tango, and we know, because Heather goes, Oh my God, we're at tango. I wonder. I wonder. if they accept cash here. So Lisa's like, you know, in the summer, I feel like this is probably like insane and amazing.

Have you been here in this summer? Summer, the time when the Greek gods and goddesses come down from Olympus and celebrate with us simple humans. And we say, please, please take us up to your mount and make us immortal like. It's like, okay, Heather, be quiet. Okay, we get it. Do you want to hear my in Brondwood's new business venture?

I'm in a good moon tonight. It's me, Meredith Marks, being in a good man. And they're like, sure. And Bronwyn's like, sure. Well, Meredith asked me, if my straw worked, could I drink out of my straw? And I said, it would be great if I had a flask inside that you could drink out of. And then Meredith said, let's trademark it. So we got a patent.

Ting, ting, ting. We have an announcement. We don't have an announcement because it's a secret flask that goes inside your drink. And they're like, oh. Oh, because actually it's that Bronwyn has like a little purse or a bag that looks like a drink, but it's not a drink. So it has a fake straw. But she's saying, no, we are going to patent that there's a real drink. Oh, I'm glad you said that because I thought they were coming up with a flask that's small enough that you put in a glass.

Like a club is in a club. And I was like, why don't you just pour it into the glass? I thought it was weird. I mean, I knew it wasn't serious. I wasn't trying to take it so seriously. But now I see what you mean. Although that is kind of a real idea, too. like you have a Diet Coke

but what people don't realize is that you put a flask of whiskey in there although you could just pour whiskey yeah that's what I mean why wouldn't they just pour it out of the flag but the idea is that it looks like a bag but it's not a bag

because it has a flask in it and they don't have an announcement because they don't want to announce that they have alcohol in their bag yeah that is so creative and Bronwyn's like very high body count because Bronwyn is going to jump in on any chance to rag on Britney

You know? Yes. He's the only person that Bronwyn's not afraid of. She's not going to come after the rest of them because she knows they'll get her ass. But she will bully Brittany any chance she gets. So she jumps right in there.

But Britney, it is embarrassing that you would do that. That's like, did Sorella? Whitney's like, didn't we have a high body count party for her to support her with her hair? Because Whitney and Heather are on, they're taking Britney's side really in any argument because their team Brittany in the larger war against Meredith right now. Right. They're supporting their, you know,

they're supporting their partner in the proxy war. Their puppet. And so Angie is like, look, how, like, look how Brittany is all proud of herself. Like, it was like she came up with it when she didn't. She's, I am proud of myself. I think it's fantastic. And she's like, but what did you do?

You have bad hair. And I said it. Oh, you did what's half bad hair. You shouldn't have trademarked bad hair. She's like, well, I mean, I think he's, you're strangely jealous of my hair. I mean, look at my hair. And then Angie starts laughing.

And Meredith is like, what? And then Bromwood just starts cracking up. And Brittany's like, well, maybe your hair doesn't curl easily. I mean, I don't know. No one has any problem with my hair other than you. I'm in my lane. I am in my share lane, babe. It's like, well, maybe there's something about me that's threatening.

Like, I literally don't know why you're so obsessed with my hair. Like my trademarks, my business moves, all that. Like, what's the deal? It's like, there is no jealousy. I think I've been really nice to you. What are you going to trademark split ends next? What is that? You're going to trademark scarecrow hair?

They already have that. And it's like, well, you've been nicer except for in the van on our way over here. Yeah, I think it's like really weird that you trade someone else's line, Brittany. That's like really weird, yeah. Well, it's not someone else's trademark, but it is my line. Oh, so just because you thought of the same thing, I'm supposed to give up my trademark to you? No, hell no. No, she thought of, she said the line.

She didn't think of the same thing as you. You didn't think of it. You didn't think of it. It was a, you don't think of your own insults against you. And Brom was like, he didn't think of the same thing. She said it first about me. But you didn't think of it. Here's the thing.

You had some crazy ass hair. She made fun of it. She said it. And Heather's like, Angie did not invent high body count hair. She said it in a funny way. But she made it famous. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay. She made it famous. So if somebody said you look like a slut, then what? Then what? Do you own the word slut? Do you own the word slut now? So, fair enough to wrong when you're cracking up. I was smart enough to do it first, so, oh, God.

Well, and Angie goes, oh, so now I wasn't smart enough. You sound like a fool, Brittany. And she's like, Whitney says, But wait, high body count's supposed to be funny. And I have a high body count outfit on, but low body count hair. And that's what's funny. Whitney explaining the finer nuances of this term And she's like

And to sit and attack over it over I have a high body count outfit on But I have bullied person hair Trademark that Trademark I'm trademarking chocolate syrup On Justin And to sit and attack and over about how someone looks It's just like I know Merritt doesn't like it

When it happens to her I don't like it when it happens to me And Brahman's like I didn't see anything about her hair or her bronzer. Don't lump everybody in on this. Meredith and I didn't say anything about it. Look, neither of us said anything. Don't make this a group conversation.

Don't even try it. I don't like that. I don't like that. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. I don't like that. I was generally bullying her. Okay? I was not looking for bullying her.

It was just general giggling. So she can dish out to everyone else, but she can't take it because she does. And there's a reason why everyone chimes in. But look around us. Look right now. We're in Palestine. No, we're not.

We are in Greece. We are in Greece. And we're supposed to be our having fun. And instead, we're hyper-focused on trademarks and hair when we're in California. We're in Greece. We're in Greece. How could you treat somebody like this when we're in Europa? Look at this.

Look at the view of the Bay of Tokyo. And you're going to fight about hair. And Angie's like, okay, then let's be done with it. Shockingly, they actually stopped fighting. I was like, oh, we're heading towards a big to be continued. Instead, they just cheers. And happy Mother's Day. And Brittany says, I'm trademarking that.

You're right. Whitney coming in to save the day on the bullying charges. You got to love Whitney. This is a great. Alcoholic, pill popper, stop bullying somebody about here. Great, hilarious episode. And then Salt Lake City is off for a few weeks. At first it was three weeks.

And then I guess you saw something that's going to be off for two weeks. But either way, it's going to be off next week. For us. For us, it's good for us for three weeks. Yes, it would be off for three weeks, which is tragic. But just for anyone who is interested in just general programming notes, that's the news for that. Thanks, thanks everyone for listening. What a fun show.

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