Watch What Crappens - #3125 Southern Charm S11E05 Part Two: Pool Intentions

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

This is part 2 of a two-part recapPool time on Southern Charm. Craig throws a party without a woman’s touch, which leads to a bunch of leaky noodles and people going home early. Venita exploits someone’s vagina, and Molly lets Salley have it. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad-free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. What's what happens when there's so much than crap is. Welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So then we go to Craig's house. I mean, but I don't think that that works really because on Bravo, no one expects you to eat. I just feel like there was so much buildup about that cake. Like we got a whole story about that the cake was from grandma. And grandma used to make it. And we serve it every Christmas Eve. And so she's making it now, even though it's. summer but it's like their christmas eve coffee cake and they all put it together and they quiz like how many ounces in a cup oh and it's all coming together now we're watching it they both put it in the oven and then we just never see how it turns out like you got it's i think the cake and that's why and they didn't want to hurt the feelings of the grandma because look let me tell you

one thing i don't trust a southern grandmother who's not named me ma'm ma'mer mimi mimi mimi Gigi Gami Grag grang Gung gung bling plon or pung I'm just not going to

trust it No there's no just grandma I have it's my grandmas No it's your memos Your mammas Your mimes or your Gigis Come on

It was clearly a shitty cake That was dry And stuck to the pan Yeah So then we go to Craigs Your grandma would have been a better baker Had she had a cuter Grandma nickname

There I said it It's kind of your fault that the cake sucked. Okay, that's why no one ever typed it. That's why no one ever typed it out. So now we're at Craig's house and it's two hours, uh-huh, uh-huh, I turned to braw one. Yeah, one thing that we have to admit is that it's just not a good cake. That's it. Two hours before Craig's Memorial Day pool party from when we were little.

And people are setting up and Craig is like, Jack, we don't have a lot of shade, Jack. And so he sets up like an umbrella. which becomes a point of contention later on for Madison that there's not enough umbrellas well it's a good point I mean you have a big backyard party and there's no umbrellas what are they going to hide under your slurpy machine

come on now and Jack's not very helpful either Craig's like uh why don't we have any shade and Jack just goes well I mean people will be in the pool okay Jack you're not helping okay the pool was already here assistant

think ahead Jack Jack are you getting in the pool no you're not well then now you're shown not everyone's getting in the pool get some shade jack loser so um Craig is going to make some pinacoladas he's like what are the chances this works zero you will not make a pinocalata and i will bet my life on it a proper yeah because he's not going to follow the instructions it's going to have because a machine like that i'm sure the mix has a specific instruction you need a certain like proportion of alcohol to ice in order for it to get the right consistency and Craig is just going to eyeball it and just

support in there. We all know it. We all know. And we actually got an email this week from somebody asking us very nicely. It was a very sweet email. But someone's saying, you guys, you know, you're so mean to Craig, could you be a little nicer to Craig? I thought about it long and hard. And by that, I mean five seconds. No, no. And this is why, look at this scene. Look at this man, ruin the art of the Pinocalada. And then tell me to be nicer. Yes. No. Yes. I feel like I am nice to Craig because I wear my sewing down south sweatpants all over the place because they are incredibly comfortable. And so in that way, I advertise his product. And I think that's very nice of me. But I cannot endorse this sort of party throwing. Okay, we will give Craig his, we'll

give Craig his due for the things he's due for. His arms look better than ever. He looks great. But he's failing on the party throwing front. I'm sorry, without page. This is, this is not a good party. He's not good at making slushies. Oh, I have a question to the world. Someone sent me a Pizzle maker, and I don't know where it came from or who sent it. Does anyone know?

I love that you get mystery stoop waffles for years. I'm asking this because we're talking about the slushy machine. It made me think of like kitchen things. Pizzle maker just arrived. And no card, no email. from anyone. It just is here.

And I just want to say whoever sent it. Thank you. Because I'm going to make stroop. I'm going to make stroop waffles in it. Yeah, that's a really sweet gift. So then we go to the party set up. Heated rivalry was boring and stupid. Free Pazel maker? Now that's hot. He's like, now that got me to jack off.

That was jacking off all over that thing. That's Ben's heated rivalry. It's like the buildup of waiting for a mystery gift that you just... Just believe it. It's a Bezell maker. Yeah. Zip is a Petzel. Whatever.

It doesn't matter. So the party is set up now. People start arriving. Shep is first. And he's like a dad. He sees a package on the stoop. And he picks it up and like looks it over. Kind of shakes it.

Looks it up in light. Make sure the address is right. He's like, hmm, guess this is for Craig. I guess I'll take that in. Yes, Dad. Bring it in. It's on my stoop. So.

I think someone got you a Pazel maker. So Craig is like, well, that's actually a bathing suit. Like, oh, wow, well, mine didn't come. Mine comes tomorrow. Oh, gosh. So, I don't think chef has enough things covered in the American flag. I'm really worried that chef's not going to be prepared for the... He sells flags with...

He sells flag hats. He'll be fine. He will be fine. So they're putting on bathing suits and stuff. And Craig puts on his and chef was like, hey, there he is. He looks good. Hey, so I spoke to all. on the phone yesterday, oh, you did, was it good or bad, rated on one to ten and how cool he thinks he is right now.

And then we go back to Shep sitting down the stairs and he's, and Austin's like, I mean, Greg is the guy that keeps things in his back pocket and wait for you to piss him off. And then he's like, oh, yeah, well, I know this and this and this about you. And then it's like, whoa, man, that's like not a friend. It's like not a friend at all. I feel right now. I wish I was an editor so I could insert the clip of Austin and Craig both. ragging on Shep when they were out of town and they were at that bowling alley and they were talking about how Shep was just on his girlfriend the whole time. Yep. Yep. Because Austin's victimhood is making me crazy. I mean, it's not really making me crazy. It's actually kind of funny that they're always like this. They just take turns. It's like there are a three-person housewives cast. Every season, they're like, all right, who are we going to get this year? Let's just rag on them the whole year until we break them down.

They are kind of like a really compelling trio. I mean, they are so toxic to each. other but they're all there they always come back to each other but they all take like every season each one of them takes on a different role it's always the same three roles but they like shuffled the deck and hand out the new roles again every season it's always fun to see how it plays out yeah so um Craig's like look I wish I didn't freak out but like okay fine I'll say sorry again cheese but like in my opinion he's jealous he can't come get in the hot tub and party with the girls and I'm like dude you're dating a girl that you don't even see yourself getting married to so i'm like not going to be very patient with that i don't think that

krag is totally wrong i think that austin probably he wants to have audrey he likes audrey i think he likes audrey enough and i think that he likes what how audrey makes him feel like he's growing up and maturing as a person but i think austin definitely wants to like hang out with girls in a hot tub and be flirtatious and kind of like ride that line and the problem is you have someone like craig who keeps calling him out like you're just hanging out you're not zimmy supposed to be doing that in the hot tub. So now we can't do it because before it was sort of like everyone would just sort of look the other way and like Austin would just sort of be flirtatious, but he could get away

with it. But then like now Craig is calling him out for it. So now we can't even do that. So he's like, yeah, he's mad. He's mad. You're blowing up his jollies. I agree. He's not mad that he has a girlfriend.

He's mad that you're calling him out for like wanting to cheat on his girlfriend. And that's not what friends are supposed to do. You're supposed to invite over to hot tubs to cheat and then not tell anybody about it. But that's not the kind of friend group we're in and at least a frustration. Yeah. And even if he doesn't even plan the cheat, I think he still just enjoys the flirtation. And Craig is like making that not fun because Craig is like being righteous about it. Yeah.

So, um, Shep is like, here's what I think, honestly. Austin wants a big apology from Craig for the past year and a half and the abandonment of their relationship. And, you know, now that Craig's having fun again. He wants Craig to come up and be like, I was wrong. I see the errors of my ways. Well, good luck with that, buddy. It's not going to happen. I think that's right, too.

I think that's actually 100% right. I have no faults with that. I think Austin totally wants to be like, I told you, I want you to say, I told you, sir. Why don't you acknowledge that I told you to so? And Craig is not going to do that either. That's what they do. I mean, now Austin has apparently broken up with Audrey in real life.

Spoiler alert. And Craig was on, watch what happens live. And they're asking him, like, do you think Austin's happier? He was like, yeah, because Austin, like, didn't even want a girlfriend in the first places, which was what I said all along. So. Let's see. They're just the same. Oh, they're so funny.

So Shepton goes, I think there's a pathway for us to be friends again, because he goes, how do you think I got to loss? Wait a second. This was friendship ending. No, I don't want it to be. Of course. I mean, I love the guy. I know you love him. God, I wish you had a pretty little frackal lip.

That'd just be the best, but he doesn't, but I still love him. Yeah, but it's his fucking coddling, okay? Like, it happens. So what? What's he going to do? Didn't even say he's coming? And he's like, no, he's not coming. He's not coming to the pool party.

He starts like, Craig, who's a little temper tantrum. Craig, who needs the most codling on this cast is now complaining that Austin needs codling. I mean, that's why he's so angry at Austin, too, because he's projecting, you know, he sees himself in Austin right now and he doesn't like it because Craig needs more coddling than anyone on this cast. So, yeah, this is just a classic projection. Well, he doesn't even go to,

he doesn't even travel in the middle of the week. And he never even goes to Charlotte anymore. But now that we're having a middle of the week party, he's not going to come to our big summer pool party. I put noodles in the hot tub holes. This is a, this is not a strong argument. Like, he never travels on the week. So now he's traveling on the week.

It's because he actually wants to be back here in Charleston for Memorial Day weekend. He doesn't want to be with his girlfriend on the long weekend. So he's burning up the daytime trip. It's actually quite damning. It's quite damning that he's seeing Audrey on like non-prime days of Memorial Day weekend week. Yeah, so you can get back for Friday and Saturday. But it said Craig sees it as like some grand elusive scheme to avoid coming to the pool party, which it is too i mean it is he doesn't he's punishing crag but um yeah so he's like oh god so now

now he started our fight and i just hit him back with all this shit that he's been telling me for months don't get mad crag don't get mad because it's stupid that's why that's why i just want you to repair whatever's damaged craig craig it's just so much fucking energy dude like we can't change the fucking past like so what do we do well we go hat in hand and we say, how can we be, how can we get to a good place? I'm fival from an American tale with my hat in my hand. I don't get it, but that's not going to happen because he's a grown ass fucking adult. Unlike me, who's throwing a party from when we were little. So they agree, they're going to just try to have fun for the rest of the day. So now other people come, Molly comes,

and he's like, well, the pinocaladas aren't frozen yet. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This to me sitting on the couch a whole time. Oh, really? They're not frozen yet. Oh, I'm sure they will be soon. Craig. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Talk about a truly heated rivalry. What about a frozen rivalry? That's what you need. So, he's like, but we got a full bar made with a bees honey over there. See them? They're bearding. Bearding. By the way, what are the odds?

Jack is like, what? Jack's poking his head up. Like, what? Who's bearding? Who's bearding? Chuck. Chuck. He's like, they're, like, they're,

working. That's how hard they're working. By the way, I'll take you to the bar, Molly. And so it's good to see that someone's working on this show. It's Wittner and the Bees. So Corey shows up and they're all like, hey, Corey, everyone. And then Vanita shows up and she brought towels. That was her gift. She brought towels for everyone. But she actually brought like a functional gift, which was very nice. And then I think Pals should follow Corey wherever he goes. There should always be someone with towels yeah i i think so maybe also a representative from fantastic sams or super cuts because that haircut we need to revise it okay you're not benson boon you're not benson boon you're more like benson boo get out of here so craig is like bina is clearly not my friend

but i'm always going to include everyone because i mean like was it to me i mean hopefully she comes and has a good time i'm just big inclusive gregg that's me except for all the other whole party is where I specifically don't invite one person. Every season he has a party where he's like, I'm not inviting Austin, right? Like, and I was going to act like he's the bigger person. Well, he did invite Austin, though. Austin just didn't. This time, yeah, but last season he had a whole party. He had a whole day where he didn't invite Austin. That was a whole big plot point for last season. It was like, you didn't invite me to your pool party, Craig. And Cray, Vanita's like, yeah, you know, I don't like Craig, but he invited me. And if I say, hey, I'm not showing up, then

everyone's going to be like you suck but now what is he going to talk about all night me sucking no i'm going to show up and i'm going to bring him a gift so i win like you just lost 10 towels i don't know what you're true but you just but like all but it also just goes how it shows how charitable she is because she knows that craig would never have thought to have a get towels for his pool party she's like let me just do this pages page isn't on this show anymore i'll be the one to bring the towels. He's not going to have towels for the guests. It's either this or umbrellas. That's funny.

So Wittner is there, but he has to take a call because it's a work day and he works. So it's a Wednesday. Yeah, it's a Wednesday party. So Charlie, we don't realize until this moment. Yeah, when is Memorial Day? On Monday. Always, right? Yeah.

But like, and like I get it. Like, I feel like Memorial Day weekend, people start to. kind of check out on a Thursday, but Wednesday is pretty early for your pool party. Or late. Or late. Whatever it is, it's not timely. Yeah, it's not a timely. Did you forget on Memorial Day?

What the day was, the Memorial Day is. So Charlie and Sally come and, you know, they're talking about each other's show, shows, clothes. Craig's like, wow, Charlie's got the plaid on. Yeah, it's like red, white, and blue. Wow, summer backyard parties when we were growing up. That's just how it was. red, white, and blue.

Craig, they're also like that everywhere on Memorial Day, Craig. Stop trying to make a nostalgia play for everything. Because that's like he's trying to seem cute. He used to be like, remember when we're kids. We don't have like juice boxes. Like, wasn't that cute, aren't that cute? It's like, yes, this is not. Adult Memorial Day parties look exactly the same as when we were kids.

Especially your house. Exactly the same. So Charlie's like, yeah, well, you know, America. So I was like, I love America. Well, do you like oysters, too? And so I was like, well, what kind of oysters? He's like, um, they're from Nova Scotia. Oh, can I tell you?

You know what I love? On a hot, steamy day is an oyster when it's out of season in the backyard of Craig's house. Oh, give me, give me six of them. And then just take me to the hepatitis clinic, okay? Everyone knows. May. May, the month of oysters. you would get hepatitis from a from an oyster to Craig party for sure but is that like

an oyster thing hepatitis uh that's one thing you can get um but they i think it's mainly just like uh the old adage is that you should only get oysters in months with ours in them at least that's what it used to be but now there's a theory of like it's not really the same anymore because oysters are farmed you can kind of get them year round but their biggest and plumpest in the yarn months blah blah blah but i think one adage that will always be good is don't have raw seafood at craig's house in blazing hot heat don't do it yeah it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial so um hey guys i know everybody's curious let's check I'm checking on the Pino-Colada machine.

He's like, uh, the Pino-Coladas aren't frozen yet. And Charlie's like, kind of the best runner. I mean, really, I'm, especially for a judgmental person on the couch. He's just looking at that machine. I'm just looking at it. I'm like, this is never going to work. So he's like, yeah, I got him for you, Charlie, and they taste really good.

And so he's like, wait, I'm coming to the bar. I like Pia-Nikolattans. If I do like Pina-Coladas so much, please bring you. him to me. So now Rodrigo and Tyler show up with Madison. And Madison's like, It's hot. And Tyler's like, I'll get you a cocktail. I'll bring it to you, girl. Yeah. And I can tell Paige hasn't been here. Look at this shit hole. Disgusting. I cracked up with that. I mean, it just looks like a guy's running the place. I mean, where's the umbrellas? What? No dig to Craig slash Martha, whoever he wants to be today. But the woman's touch kind of left the building.

I mean, look at that hot tub. And we just got to the hot tub and the noodles are still. sticking out of the place is back to a frat party. Yeah. So Sally says hi to her and everything and Madison walks over and like, oh, they look cute. You look cute. Like, how's daddy doing? She's good, you know. So they're making small talk. And then Madison is like, so, hey, Craig, did you just look at my boobs? He's like, probably because they're like shiny and like glittery, like when we were kids. So now Molly and Vanita are talking with Rodrigo And Molly's like, oh my God, my spray tan is like sweating on my tits

And they're telling her, oh my God, don't rub it So she's like, so how do you feel about this selling Craig thing? Like, I mean, they seem to be busties like, I don't get what the fuck the deal is I mean, I heard she's like talking shit about my vagina though, I don't like that Out of nowhere And Vanita's like, wait, who did she say that to? And Rodrigo's like, to me, hello, I'm on this cast everyone so we see flashback to witness birthday party and sally it whispers to rodrigo like hey mollie got a

new vagina and she got all the stuff and she's like who do you think it's paying for it huh who do you think so then vanita's like well i did mention the fact that you had a little nip talk and molly's like well so that's how she knows you're acting like how did you know that's like you were the one who said it and then we see a flashback to two weeks ago vanita being like she got her vagina it redone. Who's funding that? I mean, who's funding it? So Vanita is totally caught here. So Molly says, well, yeah, but like she's claiming like I have a boyfriend and that he bought it for me. Yeah, that also came from Vanita. Sorry to break it to you. It's not going to come out today, but yeah, Vanita also did that. And Rodrigo's like, um, did you tell her that? Did you, did you tell her that?

No. I said that someone paid for it, but I didn't say her boyfriend. So Rodriguez, like, yep, She did that one, too. And Molly's like, I paid for it out of my account in 2019. Actually, thank you very much. She's like, so, Rodriguez, like, so you're the one who's spreading all the falses? She goes, well, but I don't have a problem with saying, yes, I did do that. It was me. Vanita is, it's so fun watching Vanita really try to do the reality start thing this season.

You know, leaving parties early, spreading gossip, doing the fake accountability thing. It's like fun to see our little, our little baby trying to spread her wings. So Rodriguez, like, I mean, when I hear gossip about some girl's vagina, I don't like consider that delicious. I mean, I think Vanita's just being a shady bitch because honestly, she brought it to Sally, knowing that Sally has a big mouth. So what do you think is going to happen? Well, information that I got from a source that I trust was that Molly received a rejuvenation surgery that was paid for by a man. You're exploited my vagina. And Molly is like, well, I'm very open about things I get done.

like i just don't want to like tell the entire world that i got my labia cut off okay jeez so she's like i mean that's kind of fucked up like why you bring it up she's like yeah well talk to me about it talk to me this is good this is really good she says well when you know like she's going to bring that shit up because well i didn't think that she was going to bring it up but she's like you know your friend though well i didn't think she was going to bring it up that in that setting and i should have not have said it so i'm going to apologize to you and if i had an additional towel i would have given it to you but i give them all to crag so just very gently i'm just a pinky promise that this is i won't do this again so molly lets it slide because she still likes her and she still

needs people to go against sally with her so she's like well i mean it's obvious what she's doing and she's going to do it to y'all too one day i mean no one's labia is safe in this group yeah watch out everyone um so rodrigo's like whatever so we see people chucking oysters and stuff and wittner takes a call and he's like um yeah hello business business business let's pencil the first week of june in and we'll get back to you guys okay bye yeah work you know you know how it goes work yep haven't received any discovery nope not at all okay see you later so um uh the chef gets an oyster and the waitress is like that's a lemon sauce that's going to be cocktail sauce this is hot sauce okay i get it great move along now

So Corey's like, wow, now we're talking. Corey's so gross. Why is he here? I like that Corey said something. What did he say to someone? Like, wow, got your American flag? And like, yeah, where'd you get your little, what little girl dressed you today? Because he's wearing like a doily.

Yeah. He said that to like Shep or something. He got it from your mom. That's a Whitner or something like that. I know. So, um, so, um, Moly, Madison or Rodrigo go inside. And he's like, wow, look at all these memories of page. And Molly says, oh, my God, did she do everything?

And he's like, those pink chairs, those pink chairs are her. Wow, embarrassing. I don't know if I see. I trust Rodrigo on this, but I just don't see Paige getting pink chairs for Craig. I think she's like, okay, everything in here should be black. I hate it. Too many colors and flowers. So they are eating some more saviche.

And Sally is like, I feel like I should, I need to find Vanita because she's outside. So she leaves Charlie to go find Vanita inside. and then Wittner's talking to Craig and Wittner's like, hey, where's Austin? He's like, he didn't come. I mean, it's stupid. It shouldn't have happened, but it happened. Like, you know, R.B., it just happened.

He's like, well, Craig is posing it like he was defending Sally's honor. Oh, sorry, Charlie's saying that. She's saying, she's, my brain is rotting as I say all these words. I apologize, Ronnie. Literally nothing happening on this show. It's like, and then Craig says the same thing. And then we talk about. So now Vanita, Sally goes inside to check on Vanita, and she's like, okay, well, thank you for checking on me.

But when you go back out there, be nice. And she's like, to you, I'm nice to everyone. She goes, just continue to be nice. Why is she saying that to Sally? That's so weird. Because you just got called out for spreading stuff. Why is Sally getting in trouble? She didn't say anything. You're the one who hearted it. I think this was like, I didn't love this moment for Vanita because this is like, just say what's on your mind, Vinita. because you're not saying it, but you're being, like, elliptical about it, and you're alluding to things. It's, like, passive, aggressive, and sounds like, well, what did I do? And she's like, just be nice. Be nice.

It's like, Vinina, just spit it out and say it. You just say, when I told you about Molly's vagina, that was for the two of us, so stop gossiping and making me look bad. Yeah. And so she's like, well, I'm just saying, keep it up. If you're not being bad, then don't, then just keep it up. And she's like, I'm just like literally standing there eating and I looked around and said, where's Vanita? I would never be mean to you. I just looked for you.

And she's like, well, okay, then just don't give me any reason to think you're a fraud. Okay? That's all. And Sally's like, what? A fraud to you? And she goes, be nice to Molly, because I like Molly too. And she's like, I am nice to Molly. She goes, no, you don't know how to keep your mouth shut.

That's the problem. And she's like, but me and Molly were both bitches to each other at that part. Like, Molly's, Sally's not bright enough. You have to just spell out whatever you're saying. Hints are not going to work with Sally. You know? No, no. And so Molly is like, yeah, but you kept talking shit about me.

She's like, but when? She's like, well, after the party. That's why I said you kept talking shit about me after the party, because it happened after the party. But like, what did I say? You were talking about my vagina. She's like, well, who said I talked shit about her vagina? Henriko's like, me, hello, I'm on this show. You came to me and told me that.

And I'm not maddie. I'm just telling you what you said. And Molly's like, yeah, you're being shitty about my vagina. She goes, but you're being shitty. But you are shitty. You're always shitty, you fucking asshole. And everyone's like, oh, whoa. They make me stink, everybody.

The newbies are coming out. And Molly's like, you're malicious. And she goes, well, that was fucked up. She's like, you need therapy. She goes, but I'm in therapy. Because, yeah, because you fucking suck. So Sally tells us, what the fuck? Vanita's the one who told me about the sugar daddy in the vagina.

And now I'm the one getting trouble or taking shit for it. I never talked to you about her vagina. I'm sure she has a lovely nude vagina. Sorry, I have a beautiful vagina, okay? Just leave me alone. Are you jealous? Just go get your vagina done. She's like, I did not talk shit about your vagina.

I'm sure your vagina's great. Honestly, though, like vagina surgery, I never even thought about it. I'm sure I'll need it after all this pregnancy. So now Shep comes and he's like, All right, everybody, that's enough. It's my time to shine now. I'm gonna go change into my annual speedo, where my pubic hair, which I'm I've never trimmed in my life will fall over the edges and my hairy thighs will be sticking out.

Is everybody ready to get turned on? Like, oh, no. So Matt, oh, he goes to do is, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, I was just going to say they go outside. Yeah, so he goes to do that. It's really wacky. Sally apologizes to Molly. And she's like, Molly's like, yeah, but I thought we made up.

And I, like, felt good about stuff. But, you know, like, even Vanita's more wary of you now. She's like, well, that sucks, because we've been friends long enough. that we shouldn't say the words, I'm wary of her. I mean, I don't even know what that means. Who says I'm wary about her to their friend. Wary. That's like a curse word.

That's a four, four letter word, you know. So Sally now goes fine and she's like, Vanita, and she's like, Vanita, Molly told me that you were wary of me. What the fuck is up with that? Like, I feel like I've been a damn good friend to you. She says, well, you make it very hard being on your side when you're on the side of someone I don't like. She's like, Craig.

Yeah. So now she's making it about Craig. So now she's like, okay, you want me to be on your side? Then don't take Craig. Well, I hear you and I love you, but I don't want to stop hanging out with Craig, okay? Because he's a bigger star on the show. She's like, well, I want you to hear me and you're not going to. So now Sally's like, well, Vanita's argument is she's friends with Craig.

So she feels like it's her right to stand up for Craig. But then she, Sally is friends with Craig. So Vanita's not going to be friends with her because she's. who's going to stand up for Craig. It just doesn't make any sense. It's kind of hypocritical this whole thing. It's hard to be on her side with this whole thing. I don't like it.

I don't know, but I just feel like, I do feel like Sally is being kind of a shitty friend to Vanita about the Craig thing because Craig was mean to Vanita. But Sally's like, whatever, so I'm going to go after this guy. And I'm also going to make sure my other friend can't go after him either.

And I don't know. I think Sally's probably the wrong way this season. Yeah, me too. But I think that Sally was just a good friend of Vinita because I think anybody else would have said, what are you talking about? I heard that from Vanita in the first place.

Vanita was the one who said all that stuff about your vagina. And she said, you had a sugar daddy paying for her. She insinuated that you had a sugar. But she didn't. She never says, well, I heard it from Vanita. She just keeps it quiet and then goes and talks to Vanita. So at least she was a good friend in that way. Yeah, she didn't throw Vanita under the bus.

But I don't know. I still, like, for me, I still think Sally is not massively, just a little bit more on the side of wrong than she is right. So Vanita is like, now they're mad at it. other so chef comes out in his speedo with a he's wearing a george washington wig but he still has the netting on it so he's like a cafeteria george washington but then he has the speedo it's not it's not amazing i need lisa could throw to come in dressed like a cupcake and just go i didn't need to see that no one needs it keep it off my tv sir i get that it's tradition

but you know so is so is grandma's coffee cake and we all know how that turned out so chef jumps in the water it's funny the wig gets wet it becomes just like a sad mound of hair and now uh everyone's like everyone's just dismayed like summer 2025 me and chef are single so now madison has a moment with craig and she goes up to him and um he's like well i was worried that you weren't mad you were mad at me because you didn't answer yesterday and she's like, no, I'm not mad at you. I love you like a brother. It's just one of those things. Just talk. Be vulnerable, Craig. You know, I saw you that a night drinking tequila, being crazy and mad. And he's like, I know you don't like it

when I get like that. I don't either. And I want to be like, are you okay? Because it's not if you're okay. It's okay to not be okay. Okay. Look, I like slipped up. I hadn't felt that instant regret in so long and I knew instantly I wish I didn't do that. And then I fucking snapped and I hate that shit. Craig is just basically telling Madison what she needs to hear because that's what he does. Yeah, pretty much. None of this is easier. And he's like, yeah, I know I'm struggling and I don't know how to not be the fun guy at the bar. Like, that's just how I met everyone. That's how I met Paige and Naomi. So to me, I like, I shouldn't, I shouldn't equate not drinking with not

being fun because I know that's not the truth. But in my head, I don't know if I believe that. Yeah, but the problem, no one complained about you not being fun last year. I mean, they complained about you not going out a lot but i don't think anyone was like wow he's turned into a boring person just that you went out less you know they're complaining yeah i mean he's inherently fun he's a storyteller so craig says i don't and a lawyer and a lawyer and a storyteller i don't like i'm like i texted my therapist and i haven't talked to him in like two years and i was like do you have any slots and oh that's perfect and he didn't have any slot machines i was really upset but like, you know, I'm not like fucking better.

I've fixed like a lot of triggers, but like this isn't cool. I'm getting like worked up. It's not the best version of me. It's the worst version of me. He really is just like regurgitating all sorts of things just to make himself seem like self-aware and evolved. And Madison's falling for it because this is just what he does. People like Craig are so are so savvy about saying the right kind of stuff that they've sort

picked up from pop culture and all around. to like what you're supposed to say in that moment. And he's just giving it to her on a silver plate. And she's like, well, he's going the right direction. Yeah. So they hug. And then Wittner says he saved a B. So Wittner's done something today.

And now Craig and Charlie have a super romantic scene at the slushy or snow cone machine or whatever the hell that is, choosing flavors. And he's like, have you ever had egg custer? She's like, hate it. And he's like blue raspberry though. She goes, is that your favorite dum-dum, the sucker? I love, I love blue raspberry dumb-dums. Wow. Wow.

Babies incoming. I really like Craig, but I feel like I might have my guard up a little because I have the tendency to put the needs and feelings of my friends above mine. I'm a hero. And Craig is like, what's a dumb-dum? Oh, is that like a sucker? Like a lollipop. Is that what it is? Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Those are my favorites. So she says that as she gets older, she's worried that she's not thinking about herself enough, but she's learning. She's learning to put herself first. Oh, gosh. So then we go to, let's see, everyone's just party. Vanita decides to go home early. She's like, I'm out of here. And Rodriguez goes out of there, too. He's like, Tyler hit his expiration date, so we're out of here, too. And so it's kind of like a sad, boring ending to kind of a sad boring party. And so everybody's leaving and, um, uh, as she leaves, she says by to Sally. And she also kisses Craig by and Sally's like, oh my God, you can kiss him on the cheek, but can't let me hang out with him. Yeah, it's called like being nice to the host. That's, that's, let's got.

Yes. Yeah, Sally, you that's so, no, no, you're the one. She's actually making it easier for you. Now Vanita's being a good friend for you because she's not, she's trying to like, like, um, reduce the tension in the room. essentially. So like in some ways, well, one could argue she's being a good friend to you. I don't know if she was actually thinking about Sally in that moment. But like wouldn't you have preferred Vanita actually to have like a friendly moment with Craig, the guy that you're trying to fuck versus like a tense moment, which puts you in a weird situation. But Sally trying to make it into her thing. It's like that's too much. It's too much, Sally. And she says, yeah, it's fucking weird that she kissed him goodbye. And then she has a problem with me being friends with him. I mean, talk about two face. It's fake. I'm sorry. It's manners. Okay. Manners are often made. That's why we do them.

Yep. So, Shep even leaves. He's like, I got to feed little Craig. And Molly's like, yeah, I got to feed Zoe. Everyone's just using their pets as an excuse and getting there. Which basically leaves us with Sally, Charlie, Corey, and Craig. So we've got the dream team. Yeah.

We've got the main characters, Craig and Sally. And then the people there to just sweep up the leftover. versus Sally and Corey. So they basically ask Charlie to like get, she's out of the hot tub and they're like, Craig wants a pinocalada. He's like, Craig goes, Craig says that he wants a pinocalada or Corey wants one, even though people are bitching about it.

I mean, I made good drinks. They just didn't freeze. So the pinocaladas after all these hours, never froze in the machine. You didn't follow the instructions, Craig. That's what that means. It's a delicate. ratio of ingredients.

So they keep telling Charlie to get them more and more stuff. And Sally goes, why are we ordering Charlie around? And Craig goes, because she does whatever we tell her to. And she's like, God, you guys were supposed to be my friends. He's like, we're just, Corey. It's like, it's positive. You're just very submissive. Oh, I just pretend Corey's not here.

Can you tell? I just skip over every Corey line. So Craig's like, all right, well, we had so many good rainstorms. night tight here like the rainstorm that that night was my favorite member and so i was like mine too and then the next day we've golf carted to brunch and then golf carted to the country club like we did the best loop and cori's like oh so y'all you all stayed here and she just looks in like um what happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub yeah so there you go that was southern charm everybody So maybe Craig and Sally had sex after all.

Oh, everyone's dying to know, I'm sure. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here. We'll be back tomorrow with some real housewives of boovily hooves. Talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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