Watch What Crappens - #3130 Below Deck Med S10E13: Party Pooper

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recapBelow Deck Mediterranean brings back an old lovah and someone poops in a shower drain. It’s a real sh**show. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Look at that. No intro. Last show of the year and we don't have an intro today. You know why? Because we did Amazon Live last night and I had it turned off. So whatever.

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Watch for crappence. Watch for crappence. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

You have the glow of a lady that's about to be off for a week. I do have that glow. I feel that glow. We are at the finish line for our. our content although we still will have plenty of content on the feed we have we have lots of good stuff um chiefly we do our annual tradition which is a uh crossover event with reality gaze wherein we recap a holiday movie and it usually spans over three or four episodes while this year our holiday movie is my secret santa which is available on netflix it's basically like

mrs doubtfire meets a or meets a holiday movie wherein a lady uh dresses like santa's that way she can have a job at a ski resort so her daughter can go to snowboarding academy um that it's universal why i mean it really we've all been there why why was it made why did we talk about it it's like mrs doubtfire with all of the comedy talent i mean with yeah it's like devoid of any kind of talent. But it was fun to make fun. Just doubt. It's just doubt. Nothing. It's just misses doubt.

It definitely does not reach the same heights as Mrs. Doubtfire. But again, the Snowboarding Academy, that's fun. And hijinks. And yeah, we have a fun time. We have actually a really fun time recapping it. We do every single year when we do this. The four of us get on the mic and we chat for four hours or more because we have so much fun cracking each other up. It's always a miracle that we even get through the entire

movie. Yeah, super fun time. So check that out. That'll be for four of the days. And then we're re-releasing some classic episodes, some Real Housewives of New York at Christmas time. And then we'll have a classic bonus episode next week, wherein we rank the alphabet letters. And we're bitches about it. Okay, the letter J, as I recall, doesn't end up winning any prizes. So join us. We'll be here all next week doing that stuff. So those of you newer, especially, they'll all be new to you, okay? Yeah.

And then we'll be back the following week to tackle eight zillion bravo shows that will be on a double recap of the Valley. I mean, not the Valley Persian style. There's so much coming up. But you know what? Let's not think about that because we're about to party our face. You're going to partay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be so great.

I'm so excited. And, you know, what a great way to send us off into our holiday break than with a particularly crazy episode of Below DeckMed. This is one that we've been bracing for for a while, for a very long time, the poop episode. And it arrived and it was as visceral as we expected. And there was other crazy stuff that happened, a crazy cliffhanger. I'm going to say, I think that this season of Below Deck Med is officially a really good season. And I'm not going to harp on how it's so much better than the last season of below deck. But I guess I just did.

But I really am enjoying this below deck. I feel like every episode, I'm like kind of like fired up a bit. And that's the best sign for a below deck episode. There was a lot of drama happening on the internet yesterday over this episode because Kathy posted something in the morning on her Instagram that was like, oh, hello. I've been dreading this episode. It's going to be the most painful episode of the yeah for me. please I know you're all there for me and support me hearts and so people are like oh my god what happened to kathy was this an was this like a sexual harassment thing like the um below deck down

under thing that happened a few years ago was this um you know who was me to kathy so everybody was online trying to figure out what happened to kathy and the guesses were wild you know and horrible and so everybody was ready for this huge and then there was kind of a turn against Kathy, because people were like, wait a minute, if this is all about the poop and the shower drain and she's trying to get everybody all riled up, fuck Kathy then. You know, there was some, you know the internet. The comments are from lover to hate her, even though something traumatic just could have happened. And I thought, man, this girl has really stirred up a lot of drama. What if it is the poop in the drain? And so I was watching the whole episode like, oh my God,

I hope it's more than the poop in the drain because Kathy is really going to get dragged. And then it was, you know, then it was a death in the family, which was, so sad but I was like what a horrible ending to this like it was something really terrible and horrible for her but it was also she had so much of the country being like fuck you kathy like so many people were ready to pounce on kathy yeah and also it's beyond the poop episode like what are the odds that that they were like you have this episode that is all about poop and then it ends on this really serious note i was just not expecting that whatsoever i was expecting something stupid because they were sort of like gearing up for um like max was complaining about nathan being irresponsible

and i thought the cliffhanger was going to be max having like a hissy fit on the picnic and then it just took that turn i was like oh my god it's like this episode does everything it's wild yeah yeah i really didn't like it because it was about poop which i hate poop i hate it's one of the most i mean it's literally the most disgusting thing that people do and i hate talking about it in real life, I hate that we have to talk about it for 18 hours today. And I also hate that it's obviously the gay guy that did it. It's obviously, clearly the gay guy in the tattoo, Joaquin, who did it, which also really pissed me off. Like, we're going through a rough time in this country right now, sir, we don't need, you know, I know respectability, politics, be damned, okay? Stop pooping

in drains. What are you doing? We know it was him. Who need you pooping in drains? You know it was him. Yeah, and you would be so proud of me, Ronnie, because I immediately went and I looked up. up what sort of narcotics could cause someone to poop uncontrollably and guess what the, you know what the answer is because you're Ronnie, you know, but for the rest of us. Was it the good old, the good old cocaine? The illegal drugs most associated with causing need to defecate, by the way, this is according to Google AI, are stimulants, primarily cocaine and methamphetamine. Like it goes right away, it just came up. It just says cocaine, like in big letters.

It says cocaine is a well-known stimulant that can induce bowel movements shortly after use. The reasons for this effect include blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm not saying that that's what happened, but I just felt like doing that research after watching the episode for some strange reason. Yeah, well, there, now you know, you know, if you ever need to clear out. Why take fiber when there was cocaine? I will also say that, you know, we had dinner with Asia back in June. And she was like, oh, she was like, this is all this. She basically told a story.

She said, like, she once had to, like, you know, grab poo out of a shower drain. And so we were, we sort of knew something like this would be coming. But, you know, of course, we didn't say anything because, you know, et cetera. You know, we don't want to spoil anything and it's not right. But she definitely was, her tales of it were so, they've stuck with me all this time for months and months. So finally to see this episode, I was like.

like, oh my God, like, I've been waiting for this. I was like, I need to see how this happened. I also need to see who did it. I need to see this cast of characters who may have pooped in this drain. And, you know, it definitely, this was one of the most disgusting things that Bravo has ever aired. Yeah, it was awful. I mean, Christmas week, too. Like, come on, man, really?

I hope, again, like, it could have been any of those people, but we know it's the guy. We know it's the guy with the mustache. We know, it's the gay, it's the cokehead gay with the mustache and the tutu. I mean, we just know it is. He was literally wearing a t-shirt that said whip it, whip it real good. Okay, spelled whip it like W-H-I-P-P-E-T. Okay, and this guy, this guy shat in the shower and crammed it into the drain. We all know it, and AHA had to reach in up to her elbow to get it out.

Okay, it's out there. And if he didn't do it, then he better point fingers at someone else on his oven. his crew because right now all for it's clearly him every single time they's every single time they're like who did this the camera would just like would just pan over to him it was like obvious that the editors were signaling it too right despite the little like who done it it was clear every single time they would just show the guy but wow oh my gosh disgusting just so gross okay yeah you know why I'm pausing because I was of course looking to see um if anybody posted about this.

Like, you know, when the guests start, like, this was editing. And I, how dare you? How dare you suggest that I even pooped in the shower? And I cannot find anything. I don't see any Joaquin denying anything online. That doesn't mean it's not happening. It was just a one-page search. But, you know, like, on drag race, isn't there something called like after the tuck or beyond the tuck or untucked?

Like, why? I still, I want that for some of these guests. I want some of these guests to have to answer to their behavior where they have someone sits down and says, okay, so what was going on with the poop in the shower? That's an amazing idea, actually. I think we just gave Bravo another after show. Go steal it from us, Bravo. Go ahead. Yeah, because there have been too many.

Some guests are like, fine. They're like, whatever. I don't need to hear from them. But there are like many that I really need to hear. I want them to be shamed. I feel like they come and they go. And, you know, we all shame them on like on social media. But we never hear from them.

We never see from them. And I need them to be, like, sat down in a chair with a camera on in a bright light and answer for their behavior. Well, you know the other thing about this that was really upsetting is whenever something happens on a show and then it happens in our personal life, it's like something that we have to say, well, this happened to me too, and this is when it happened to me, right? Like, it naturally is kind of what we do on this show. And I do have a poop in the shower story.

And I was like, really? So now I have to share a poop in the shower story. Come on. Okay. So I have to tell you. So I was probably 12, and I was with my family. We went to Florida, and we stayed at this hotel. It's a regular hotel, nothing fancy.

And my parents really wanted to go to karaoke. Like, that's when karaoke became really big. My mom was obsessed. Like, she literally stayed at this place only to do karaoke because they had karaoke in the hotel lobby or whatever, bar, whatever, restaurant. So they're excited. They're like, hurry up, Ronnie. Hurry, we're going to karaoke. I don't want to miss.

Like, my mom's really. into karaoke. So I had to boot. I don't have 12 or whatever. So I'm like, I got a poop. So I went into the bathroom. And so I sit down and I start. And then the window was open. I noticed that there's a window in the bathroom and it's open. I'm like, who has a window in a hotel bathroom? But you know, Florida. So I got, I was like, what if someone see, you know, it's 12. So I'm like, what if somebody passes by and they see me pooping? So I got up to close the window. And I like kind of, it was over the shower. So I have to like stand on the bathtub, you know, reach over my little chubby 12 year old self, close the thing, whatever. So then we go, you know, everything's fine. So then we go to

karaoke. I bomb, by the way. I basically shot on the karaoke stage. It was terrible. Vocally. And then we go back to the room and my mom screams. And she's like, ah! And we're like, what happened? And she goes, someone pooped in the shower. she called everybody she could call i'm surprised she didn't call the fbi i'm surprised she didn't call the fbi i'm like everybody showed up that could possibly be called she's freaking out on them crying losing her mind what she'll do anyway but we move hotel rooms my mom talked about it for years can you believe this disgusting hotel i mean they were lucky that that was before yelp and it really didn't dawn on me until like a lot later that that was probably me i was i was like right in the

middle of starting and I never admitted it. I never admitted it to this day. It's like one of these things I take to the grave. And you know my mom is not doing so well. She's got an illness right now. So it's really bad. And I'm like, do I have to confess this to my mom? And I will not do it. I think it would bring her extreme joy to know, I have finally an answer to the peep saga. Like, who would do that? How did that happen? It's all out now. It's all out now. it's going to get leaked pun intended to your mom i'm literally blushing that was it happened when i was 12 but you see the shame can you imagine it's all these years later it's 38 years later and i'm still mortified i can't even how does it feel how does it feel to be out the closet you're out of the closet i don't have

the relief i don't have the relief of telling the story i thought i would feel better all night i was like should i tell this this is disgusting nobody needs to hear this and i was like but you're 12 forgive yourself it's time to forgive your it's not you don't forgive yourself i'm still not over it so i was traumatized by this episode. Wow. This really brought up a lot. I shockingly don't have a poop in the shower store. I've got other poop stories. I have a tragic story about pooping. I think I did I say this on a bonus episode once about pooping my pants and driving back from Arizona once? That was really one of the very worst things that ever happened to me where I was driving back from Tucson and I was with three friends. We were driving together.

and we stopped in Palm Springs to have dinner and we were getting gas and I let out like the tiniest little fart at the gas station while doing the gas and I was like what that does not feel right that doesn't feel right so I sat there with my butt clenched and like for like the next five minutes as we went over to the we got to the restaurant and I was like mm-hmm mm-hmm and I was like but I wanted to be to chill about it so you know but was super clenched super clenched we sit down at the table and I'm like I'm like excuse me where's the bathroom and they're like it's right over there and for whatever reason this restaurant in Palm Springs in order to get to the bathroom you have to cross over a tiny bridge like you're in a Japanese tea garden in front of the entire restaurant so

I'm like walking like my butt my butt clenched on display and I'm in my mind I'm like are the back of my pants brown I have no idea and I'm just like over this little bridge and then I get to the bathroom and like someone is in the stall and they're doing who knows what what and they're there forever and I'm just standing there and then there's another guy and it looked like I was cruising the bathroom because it's Palm Springs and I was like oh my god oh my God oh my God please just let me go and it was um and I it was it was a really unpleasant experience oh no but just the fact that I had to walk over a tiny bridge in my in my poop shame I was like why why do I have to cross a bridge in front of all the diners like what

What about pooh stains? The worst. Oh, my gosh. All right. So, you know, humans poop, Joaquin, okay? But don't shove it down the thing. I mean, my God, you embarrassed us all, sir. So here we go.

Season 10, episode 13, The Poop Traitor, it's called. And Gail is just coming to the boat for the poop episode. I'm so happy for her. Yes. It's like, sweet Angel Gale. Little Angel, sweet little gal. Coming back for the poop episode. So she's coming.

And what's his bun? who's just made out with Kizzy like two days ago and also like went on some horrible racist tirade recently in the news we've been getting a lot of emails about Nathan as well so listen you know I know what Nathan did he there's all these articles like a hero Irish hero saves people in the horrible tragedy no one is denying that that was a tragedy stop it we're not saying that what we're saying is you can do a good thing but then also follow it up with a very bad thing but you did you can still be shitty you know you still don't go on a racist tirade you It's like it doesn't absolve you from doing something good.

The emotions were heightened. Yes, I get it. You know, people who were saying that. I get it. It was still shitty. It was a shitty thing to say. And then he came out and doubled down on it later in the week. So stop it.

Like, it's just shitty, period. It's really shitty. You know. It really is. Just to answer that stuff. Yeah, absolutely. I 100% still stand in our declaration that it was shitty. A shitty thing to do on an episode about shit.

So Gail is here. a kid is here and they hug and everyone's happy and everyone's watching and you know Nathan takes out an umbrella. The thing that I was focusing on was what is going on with Gail's bag? It looked like a guitar bag or was it a golf bag and had this like long tall. Like a tennis bag? What was it? What was it? What was it? Why was it? Why was it? Why did it have a tall part in the back? I couldn't figure it out. Was it a tennis? But did she have tennis rackets? Was she going to tennis? Yeah, I thought it was a racket bag, but that's probably too big to be a racket bag, right? I was like, what is in there?

What's, what is, what is, what is, why does why does Gail have such a strangely shaped bag? Or was she like, oh, I can't find my normal bag? I have to take my tennis bag. Then she doesn't have a racket in there. Because then Nathan kept on hugging her and he was hugging around it. So it was empty that whatever was up there because he was crushing it. I spent a lot of time

observing the situation. Yeah, I'm, I did too. I noticed that too. I was like, is there a lot of tennis playing on this? But is it to kiss Captain Sandy's asked because she likes that. Gigi Fernandez? Gigi Fernandez. I always want to call her Geraldine Ferraro.

Gigi Fernandez. Sure she would like that. I have. I have on this show many times. Gigi's like, oh, man. To be confused for a hot bitch like Geraldine Ferraro, that's a compliment. I think I have a picture of Geraldine Ferraro from like 1985. Wow.

I just want to brag. I wish that was when you pooped your pants. Who says I didn't? That would have been an amazing one. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and's commercial So everybody's watching this It's like they're just seeing the most romantic ending to a movie they've ever seen

They're all standing there and Max is like crying He's like taking pictures on his phone of it And they're hugging and whatever Everybody's like happy And then Asia's you know everybody's happy Gail's there I mean I don't know What do you want to say? It's a parade for gal.

Fucking Gail's very happy. She's like, I'm really excited to come back to the mid. It's been almost, this has been almost a month since I've been seen Nathan, and unfortunately it all ended how I've landed bad. But life goes on and I want to be felt in a very professional botonic muna. So then everyone's like crying and everyone,

there's lots of more hugs. We're going to make up over a game of tennis. Captain Sandy. She said plutonic, which I like. Plutonic? She's like, I want to, want this to be plutonic. So everybody, you know, Aisha, of course, is standing there like, like a little doggy when you're coming home from work,

just wagging her tail, just wiggling her whole body. And Sandy's like, hey, check out Nathan. He's a boasting now. Isn't that great? Isn't that great, girl? He's a boosin. Oh, I know. Congratulations.

And so then they are like just smiling out of it. other and it's cute and of course kizzy is like super angry she's downstairs she's not even there to see it but she's just standing at a counter and she's like what the fuck is that what's happening upstairs and joe's like it's gale gail this is gail's bag nathan's gale she's here look how strange her bag is god i knew i had a fucking hated this girl for a reason she can't even bring the right bag onto her boot joe why you're just only here for one charter and so she's Kizzy's like, oh, fuck, Gail. You know, she's like, ooh, Gail's here.

That's your little eye roll. Oh, Kizzy. It's so fun to watch Kizzy lose every single week. I mean, I've never seen somebody try harder and just fail harder than Kizzy. And it's glorious. Every single week, she fails even harder. I mean, how can you up the amount of fail that this girl is doing on the show? Love to see it.

Yeah. So then Gail meets Kathy. And there's, like, a lot of chatter. And then Joe is outside talking to Nathan And Joe's like, how do you feeling, mate? And Nathan's like, God, mate, brought it here to my eye. He's like, how are we going back to the dog today? Do you think signs of change?

Oh, God. Gail and I, were not done. By the way, have you noticed that like when Joe does his like confessionals? He talks in this like hush tone as if he's like at a museum. He's like, yeah. Gail and I, we're not in a good place. There's multiple reasons. I don't know what it's about to her.

But I think she doesn't really respect me. Like she doesn't like because of like, you know what I've done. unlike to the garrows and stuff. So, like, since last season, her perspective of me and my perspective is just never caught on. Like, oh, so she doesn't like how you treat other women because you treat them badly. So you don't like her because she sees you for exactly who you are. That's why she's the worst one. Yeah, your perspective is that you're, you're horrible to women, which you are still to this day, by the way.

You've actually won up yourself, just like Kizzy. You've won up yourself and how horrible you are. Yeah, you're horrible to women. And then you don't like that she sees that you're horrible to women, so you're horrible to her, which is for the evidence that you're horrible to women. Yeah. And he's like, but, you know, I've got mates with Nathan, so I don't want this to be a bad thing for the deck team. So now Gail is changing and Kathy's talking to her. And she's like, well, I've heard someone's a bit more excited than others to see you.

Is that right? So you're hated by the teeth, Tataray. And girls are you talking about no idea? I'm so honoured and so privileged I have, Captain Sandy, you know, call me up in a time of need. Since stepping off, mediating out of me, see if I have not stopped learning. I did my dive masters, and then I became a scuba diving instructor. I studied a little bit. I got an ice cream machine, and I studied that manual.

I can make really good ice cream now. Got a blender. I haven't looked at that manual, but I think it's pretty simple. You just press the own button. I've become really good at a lot of different things. I can put together IKEA furniture now quicker than ever. studied that quite a bit. Really did a lot of work with the Elwinch.

Cesar's, did you know you hold them by the loopy things, not the sharp things? It's game changer. I learned so much. When you carry a knife, you should carry at the blade facing your elbow instead of out, because you could hurt somebody. Turns out, ions are not what you put chakouterie on. So Nathan's like, I'm having heart palpitations. And Aisha says, focus, this could be the first time the rest of your loss. Go tell her what to do.

I love that. She says that and like, you know, in a rom-com, like, like, what are you doing here, bro? Go on and get her. Get her, bring her back. You know, it's like she's leaving on a train, but like the blow-deck version is like, what are you doing here talking?

Go and give her a shemmy. It's like, that's like the romantic overture. It's like, it's like an officer and a gentleman. So we find out. that Max has not put a trash bag in a trash can. And so Joe's like, Maximus, come on here. And he's like, sorry, supley, don't they can do. So Max is still bitter.

And then we see everybody getting ready for the charter. Gail's getting a tour of the boat. Gail and Nathan are giggling and all that good stuff. And then, you know, and I have to say, I really like Gail. Don't really like Nathan. But what I really hate love stories on the boat. I hate love stories on the boat. It's like my least favorite part of below deck.

I like the messiness when they're fucking with each other. Not fucking each other, but like making each other crying stuff. But I hate like, happy love stories. I just don't like them. I don't like them in real life and I don't like them on the boat. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I, um, you know, I mean, I, I, I, I,

I, I don't, I don't think I've ever really bought into any Blow Deck romance. I'm trying to think of any. I think they, it's just, it's just not the show for it.

You know, It was sort of cute, like, taking out the, what we know about Nathan now, when Captain Sandy said, Gail's coming on the boat and, like, seeing Nathan's, like, uncontrollably smiling. Like, that was actually very sweet. But then, like, that just kind of, I don't know. It, like, like, it was like a momentary. It was like a, it was a femoral moment of sweetness that just became more fodder for below deck. Like, I just, I'm with you.

I'm just not here for the love story at all. Yeah, get rid of it. It's annoying. never works out. Like everyone's the, so the thing is this this show has really leaned into the love story with these two because we started off the entire season. They already showed

us that the baby is on its way. Like the baby is born. So they're like, oh my God, a below deck baby, this is so exciting. They're really leaning into the below deck babyness of it all. But don't we know the first rule of being a bosun on blowdeck is that you've left a baby behind in Florida? So like, this is not going to end well.

This is seen. a very bad story for a lady. This is like a prequel. This is like, it seems so nice, but it's really just the origin story of this baby being fucked up and below deck 20 and being like, oh, my dad left me. My dad had more care. That's all I know about him. Because it is.

I mean, and the whole love story, I thought that the charter finished, they went, they had this mad romance, something happened. We didn't know what really happened. But then we find out in this episode that they basically just, traveled six weeks together, which I mean, is a lot. I mean, I guess especially when you're young. It's intense, you know. So they traveled together for six weeks. She, they went home. He went back home. She went back home. They thought it was, everything was great. And then she was calling him and he just ghosted her for like five days or something. And then she was like, is everything okay? Because I just

want to know you're okay. And he's like, I can't do this. Like, you're nagging me. And then dumped her. So am I supposed to find this romantic? Because I would. say never get back together with this person again this is what it sounds like to me this person basically had the hottest girl he's ever had or we'll ever get got six weeks of sex with this and love with this hot girl and then the second she required him to even just call her back he was like fuck you i'm going on the boat again and maybe i'll be getting laid by somebody else and i don't want you to pressure me because i'm on tv now so i can get laid all the time and then um basically did just that came on the boat and then he ended up

you know not having anybody that he could continuously bang because all he had left was kizzy and let's face it she's a grab back of terrible and so now he's going back to her so to me this isn't a romantic story so I really don't like that they're editing it like oh my god what a romance because to me it's not

it's gross yeah I agree and this is by the way I don't think this is the first blow deck baby I think that honor goes to JP and Danny were that those their names from below deck sailing, remember that the pregnancy of ill repute?

I'm ill repute. Remember he, like, he knocked her up and then denied ever, like, knocking her up. And that was, like, one of the messiest things. Oh, that's true. Yes, that's true. I forgot all about that. What a piece of shit that guy is.

I'm just saying, and his mom was trying to make her take the test and all that, the DNA test or whatever. So, like, progress in that we have a baby that a below deck guy actually takes credit for, but yeah I just don't see this as being like a great romance I think this is like a nice it's like a nice you know romance and some part of their lives but now they're bound to each other for the rest of their lives you know one hopes but um yeah I'm I'm not buying it either

yeah settling from mediocrity I'm not cheering this right before Christmas fuck that guy no no I'm returning this I'm getting the I'm getting the gift receipt and I'm sending it back I'm bringing these two to Whole Foods okay I'm dropping them off. Yes. So guess what Sandy's doing? She's like, hey, come here. I want to show you something.

You haven't caught up on wind in a while. Get over here. Let me show you on my little iPad. Wind. Wind is coming. It's great. Yeah. There's a storm that's coming.

Yeah, Storm is a stunt casting. It's played by Jennifer Aniston. Oh, she's going to be great. Stormy Daniels. Wind, the Stormy Daniels season. So then Mason. Played by Jennifer Aniston, of course. She does great work.

She does a lot more range than people give her credit for. People think Jennifer Anson can only do that like her voice, but she can do a lot more. She can do Stormy Daniels as a storm very well. Very convincing. So Nathan is showing Gail the emergency exit, which I suggest she uses immediately. And so it's like, well. Jump in the water. Yes.

Run. So the girl you replaced. covering for him, not for my ace. And he's like, okay, covering, sorry. Well, her and Joe were playing around. And then she got sick and she met the crew last night out. And then Joe hooked up with Kizzy. And she's like, oh, that's rough. He's already tattletailing on his best friend, which I loved. He's like, yeah, Joe's still a piece of shit. Be mean to him again. And she's like, well, that's rough. And he says, well, I've not kissed her on a night out. And she's like, don't make things weird. I'm just telling you, I want to be transparent like the back of my

head. And she's like, okay. And he's like, there's nothing to worry about. I'm not worried. He's like, I don't even speak to her. I really, like, I'm literally like super hot. I don't worry about things like this. But I'm just telling you, I'm not interested in Kizzy at all. It's, it's really okay. It's like, I don't want to bang her again. I don't even want to have a threesome with a two of you. Okay, you can really stop now. Please, really, please. That's enough. So then up on deck, Joe is really moody. He's like pissed off. He does not like that she's even on the boat. This guy's such a piece of shit. What did that girl ever do to you? So all she said is you called her a princess and she said you're a dick i mean why is that why is i sending you

over the edge yeah i really you insulted her first that's the other thing it's like you did the insult first every time they show that clip it's like i think you're a princess like you started it and then she called you started it yes she's allowed to she's allowed to defend herself so then max is with kathy they're in bed cuddling and um he's got paper in his hand and she's like you know i got a little bit emotional this morning. I've just never had someone get emotional and he just, oh, and she found her face like she's crying over Max, which is also disturbing. What's Kathy in love with Max for? What the hell is going on? Do you not see this man maybe, like losing his mind because he wasn't made lead backhand? Like, how do you find this attractive, Kathy? Come on, man.

These people have all lost their mind. So Kathy's saying, I don't ever cry. And he's like, um, what is happening? She's like, I don't cry in front of anyone. I didn't cry in front of my ex-boyfriends, I only cry in the car, listening to music and getting to the place I need to go, because I feel like I'm not wasting time then. She's like, excuse me, I need to cry, but I'm going to wait until I do some aliens. I like to multitask. That's how I do it, too. I'm emotionally British.

Oh, yeah, that's, I wish I could be. I feel like I was at one point, but I'm such an easy cryer now. It's crazy. I'm crying movies and stuff like that, but, you know, or like a show or somewhere where it's you know you're like just sitting there and you can't cry but yeah mostly i i just get in the car and cry but the car is the best place to cry car is a good place to cry well the best is when the car is a good place to cry because it also makes for um really good content in an indie film it's like you're not making an indie film until you have someone cry in the car right yeah and you

have your whole soundtrack there you know because the phone's usually hooked up so you can play whatever song you want like easy to be hard from the movie of hair and i'm like uh Yeah. Sometimes I like to go in the car and then pretend I'm Kevin Klein and the ice storm and just cry at the steering wheel. That's also fun. Yeah. And also what's really funny about it is especially if you're like sobbing. Like if somebody dies or something and I really need to cry, I will go into the car and I'll drive. And it's like it feels like it's private. You know, it's like, well, I'm in the car. But it's also the most performative place you can cry because people do look over and they're like, what the hell? I'm not a pretty crier. I'm like, my whole face bloats up. My eyes almost close. And I'm just like, I look hideous, not coming down my nose. And I'll just look at them like, fuck you for watching me cry. Good. Suffer. Suffer from my crying.

You know who cries in a car so well? Joan Cusack. She can just wail in a car, right? I feel like I've seen five movies where she's just driving and just like sobbing in her car. That's really her specialty. She can really drive through those tears. Like I would have to pull over because like I wouldn't be able to see it. But she just can do it.

Mouth, agape. everything i mean that is her sweet spot yeah um so kathy is telling max um i'm secretly happy that gale has nathan and it's not some random girl that might like you that's not going to happen so you're safe so preference sheet meeting time um pull that the ipads okay whoa it's a bunch of real estate people uh oh yeah oh well here we go here's the first sign here's the first bad sign okay carlin owns 17 companies okay so um what what sort of fraud is carlin up to right and that's too many companies is full of shit carlin's got some LLCs that she's got she's got some LLCs for different properties that she's counting as separate companies or something carlin is like a shower

drain on the show full of shit okay like this is a woman who has defrauded people i'm telling you this right now which owns 17 companies no No, I mean, like, yes, I agree with what you say. She just opens up lots of little LLCs, but something is, something is fishy about this. Yeah. So she's chartering, she's chartering provider with the real estate brokerage company from Florida. So we know it's trouble because, listen, real estate people, my family was all in real estate. And let me tell you, the most fucked up offices I've ever been in, real estate offices.

Those agents are crazy. And if anybody's going to shit in a drain, it's going to be a real estate agent on a party bender with the other real estate agents. yeah i don't know what it is like the concept of like real estate real estate in florida i think i feel that's just always been linked with nefarious deeds right like something like what the the stock marker crash like 1929 black friday that was somehow linked to speculation of real estate in florida like it all comes that back to real estate in florida 2008 predatory lending florida real estate it's all like so when i find that there's someone who owns 17 companies doing real estate in florida i'm like okay, we'll be seeing you again in a few years

when the court reports come out. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. So Josh is saying that they've got a pescatarian, a vegan, and some gluten freeze. And he's like, oh, God, not a vegan again. And then we see a flashback to the guy being like, well, I'm vegan. And, you know, vegans make more effort towards our food.

Oh, okay. Jeez, that guy, that guy. Okay. Um, so, uh, we see, uh, Karlin Newman. We see all of our whole preference sheet and everything. She loves a frozen butterfinger. I'll tell you that much. And, uh, she loves cheese hits and lots of other things.

She hates her teeth. She hates her teeth. That's what we have. She hates having healthy teeth. Yeah. That's, that's the takeaway. And Asia's like, Carla would like to go all out with an 80s theme celebration. She would love to have Asian food for dinner that night.

yeah and then they want to see some lighthouse and they want you know there's just all the stupid shit they want to do the 80s party is working my nerves already and so now um kizzy is ironing and nathan's like well have you talked to v at all she's like well i think that she will speak to her when she's back oh poor v isn't it v's birthday too or is that tomorrow the next day the next day is v's birthday which is what's crazy about um kathy uh losing a family member on that same day. So we then have Joe talking to Gail and everything and he's like, first of all, like, when I got the news, I spot me gum out. It's like, great. You're, you do realize you're responsible for cleaning that up, right? And he's like, because obviously we had an og last season, you know? And the only bad thing that I had last season, regardless of what happened, is basically you. So like, I'm carrying this energy of you being the worst thing. that ever happened to me all of last year. She was like,

Oh, really? The worst thing that happened to you? You caused a huge shit storm of drama between two other girls as well. What are you talking about the only bad energy was with Gail? That's not true. That's verifiably untrue, sir.

Yeah. Like last season, I didn't really understand, like when you had all understand something, it frustrates the hell of me. And last season, that's how I felt. Like, I never meant to disrespect you as a lead deckhand, and I just felt like how I felt like I was being treated.

He's like, yeah, honestly, and I hate micromanagers, and I think I became the micromanager that I always hated, like I've done bad, and I just want to say, I'm sorry, I've grown as a person, I'm like doing that full 360 kind of thing. You know that when you've done a 360, it means you're in the same place as where you started, but that's okay, Joe, because that was true, but it was true, yeah, that was a good call. And she's just smiling at him, but then it cuts to her talking to us, and she's like, Joe's, he said, yeah, we're cool. but before and he's going behind my back and stabbed it so I just don't trust him and he's like, I still don't trust her because last charter, I didn't even say this for the good of Nathan at the time

but listen here, the fact that she's texting her boyfriend while playing with Nathan, she's cheated, she's a cheater and I lose a lot of respect when people cheat, you know. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Who, you? I know of all people saying this. Of all people. And your best,

friend Nathan was with somebody who was with Artie, but with somebody else. So how is he not a cheater? Yeah. So Joe is the producer's like, not to be too harsh, which by the way, be harsh producer, but what about what happened with you and Kizzy? He's like, yeah,

well, um, so, uh, you know, even though I'm not with, hold on, I'm sorry, hold on, I'll go into the question. All right. I've got some, I've got some element. I've got some hold it. Hold it. Hold on. Okay. Once upon a time there was, no, no, okay. Knock knock, who's there, infidelity? No, no, that's not how I should do it.

What? Why didn't you shitter cross the road? No, no, no. That's what I'm supposed to do either. Grandpappy. Okay. Okay. So, okay, I've got some element of regret, but kissing kizzy is not even the same realm.

Gere as a cheater, but I'm actually a single man. So how can you put me as a cheater? It's very different for me. No. Okay. No. Not really, because you were kissing that girl while she was crying and telling her there's no one else for you.

You're not interested in anybody else on the boat. You're just going to be with her, which kind of would make you her boyfriend. So, yeah, you're a cheater. Yeah, you're a cheater. You just tried to make plans with her after the charter season's done that is implying a certain level of commitment. You're a cheater. And a pumpkin eater. So now, Joe is complaining, or Josh is complaining about food preference.

And Josh is like, wow, bro, you're, Max, you're the nicest person I've ever fucking met in my life. life. I need a hard work. And he's like, oh, I appreciate that. And he's like, yeah. You know, see, my problem is I think I'm a nice guy. You know, I just like women. Max is like, uh-huh. And it just doesn't work in my favorite. Let me tell you what doesn't work in your favor. The clowning. The clown makeup is the worst. The like I came out with an album last year and here's my music video of me dressed as a clown singing. It's all of it. You're a crinty person, sir. I used to live on a commune. Here's the naked photo of me. on the commune, you know, these things just sometimes, like, are a little bit of a turn off to the type of girls that we've seen come on, um, uh, as stews on this on blow deck, you know, I just feel like a flag when a guy says, yeah, girls don't like me because I'm just a nice guy and they just want assholes, which is basically what he's saying. And it's like, no, it's not the girl. It's you. Okay. Watch a show back and tell me you're not cringing, sir. Okay. Yeah. It's as simple as that.

And also just be yourself because who you're who you are is not this commune loving fucking hippie with clown makeup. You're a psycho. You, you admitted to like use you you, you admitted to being the kind of person to grab your staff's head and shove it down on on the counter or a hot plate. I think he got shoved on the hot plate. But he shoved his other people down on the counter or something. So you're a psycho. So if you just go into that, people will like you. Just be who you are.

Just be yourself. Be you. And by the way, what I was trying to say before about like the girls that come on below deck, I just feel like most people who would be interested in someone who lived on a commune and or someone who dabbles in the, the clownery arts, just probably are not interested in also like working on a yacht. I feel like. I feel like you're sort of like a counterculture kind of person who doesn't want to necessarily be part of a system that is serving, you know, the wealthy and the elite.

So I just, I don't know why I felt like I'd need to clarify that. I was like, guys, I don't want to offend Kizzy, guys. I want to make sure. But, so back to Joe and Max not talking. And Joe is like, I feel like I got something special going on. And Max said, oh, yeah, like with me. He's like, yeah, I've just got like a mental block. He's like, oh, mental block.

He's like, I go, no, you know, because between me and you. Oh, then, well, I'm sorry. Then Nathan tells Asia that they kissed. And Asia's, you know, basically like, you know, not surprised, but I am disappointed. And, and I think it was around here, but maybe it was later. It's probably multiple times where Joe was like, she's more of a relationship sort of girl. I don't know if I'm ready yet.

It's like, of course he's going to say that. Of course he's going to pull out that whole bullshit. Like, oh, she really wants to, she really wants to go fast. And I'm just, I can't go fast like that because I'm not a cheater. Yeah, he's been setting it up for that this whole season. And here he is finally going up with his stupid plan. And also Nathan, you know, I have to say, like, Joe's, Joe's the one to blame here. Joe's the big asshole in the situation.

But Nathan, what is Nathan doing going around telling everybody his best friend's business? He's not a good friend either, Nathan. You know, he's like title-telling to literally all the girls now about Joe. I mean, Joe deserves it. I'm not standing up for Joe. I'm just saying that Nathan's not really a good friend either. Like, he's not a good boyfriend and he's not really a good friend either. So what's the point of this guy?

And he's not really good at his job. Like, what the hell? It's also going to be actually more, like, normally I wouldn't care. But I think actually it's going to be more hurtful to V because it's a good chance that V will find out before, like, before Joe has a conversation with her. And on top of that, there's, like, that embarrassing thing of, like, everyone knows except for her. And so, like, it doesn't have to be that way if Nathan just sits on it until it comes out. But now he's going to tell Aisha, it's just, it's going to get around. And he's going to tell.

And he's already told Gail. So it's just sort of shitty for V more so than anything else. But anyway. So Nathan is saying, well, I mean, it's also the time in because our fellow's passing anniversary is coming up tomorrow. And then she's like, and her birthday. God, why can he just not keep it in his pants? And then so Captain Sandy's like, oh, hey, everybody, I don't know if you saw this, wind is back on the air. We are not leaving the dock.

Okay, I got 10 episodes to watch. We're staying here tonight. All right, normal person. Listen here. I'm sorry, I forgot your name. I'm just going to call you Muffin Top. It fits for anybody who really isn't on camera. So, okay, we're not leaving the boat.

Relax. It's going to be a great, great episode of wind. I don't know if you heard about this, but John Laracette's going to be a guest star. And I just, I've been a big Laracette head ever since 1987. So this is just a huge night for me. Can't wait. Oh.

So, let's see. Guests are arriving. Yeah, guest start coming and stuff. And Joaquin, who's the game, the tutu. Well, he puts on the two later. But he's like, I already found the two that I want to fuck. And Carlin's like, who? She's the blonde in the middle, which is Nathan.

And Captain Sandy is like, okay, all right. Well, welcome to the motor yacht bravado. Unfortunately, we are not departing the dock today. Okay. But first thing in the morning, we're going to check the weather. and then we'll take off. But you know what? Honestly, you don't even want to leave the doc

because the episode of Wind that's happening tonight is it's going to knock your sacks off if the promos are to be believed. And I believe him because they're always true. Jennifer Aniston playing Stormy Daniels in wind.

Get with it. So it's the boat tour time. And so they're going through the boat tour. And the guests are just hilarious. They're like, oh, my God. Queenie wants to be saved by the blonde man. He's like, yes.

And then Joe and Max are sliding down the stair rails feet first. It's always fun. And, you know, Aisha's showing them the hot tub and stuff. And one of the guys is like, me and you, baby, right here. And he's like, as long as you don't touch me into the water, he goes, what about above the water? Oh. So, Joaquin, they're basically just all like taking their big old tour going around. did everything, Orkin's wearing the captain's hat, and he's like, he's on a jet ski, and he's like,

ha, photo. And Captain Sandy's like, hey, Nathan, are you wearing cologne? Is it because your, is it because your lass is on the boat? He's like, no, it's tiger balm. Yeah? And by tiger bomb, do you mean obsession for men by Calvin Klein? No, it's tiger bomb. You mean eternity by Calvin Klein?

No, tiger bomb. You mean white diamonds traditionally for women, but you're changing standards and you're up, You're moving things around because why not? It's 2025, huh? No, it's just tiger bomb. Yeah, I've never heard of someone wearing tiger bomb as cologne. Although Norma does wear preparation aged behind her ears. Is that real?

God bless her. Her ears would never look better, though. So, Gail, they're cleaning and more cleaning and the rain is going to come. And so basically, Gail is like, we should go check that deck to see if it's clean. And Max say, hey, it's no, it's clean, it's raining. So, of course, it's clean. She's like, I know, but it's still my first day.

She's trying to be a good girl, you know? And, um, but of course, Max Stone just wants the slack off and, like, put his feet up because his whole thing is that he's tired this episode. Yeah. And so, let's see. So Gail is saying, um, day one, I was so, so skeptics, come see you guys, Nathan, especially Asia. And he's like, oh, really?

What about me? Thanks, fucking out. So then Max is muttering to himself on the deck. He's like, oh, do you pay me for this? Fuck me over. So he gets too relaxed with his girlfriend on the dock and what do I do, huh? Look at me, so professional. I just came down the stairs on the wedding with my feet.

But okay, I'm no president. I'm fine. Guillotine. Guillotine. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a.

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