Watch What Crappens - #3133 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 2)

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

This is part 2 of a 2-part rewind recapCan Ben and Ronnie take on a nature doc? Absolutely. Let’s revisit their journey under the sea to visit Patty the octopus and her needy human friend. Oh, and F those pajama sharks.*This episode originally aired September 2020See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcher Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. and welcome to watch our crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you miss part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So day 134, named after my favorite highway in Los Angeles. And it's a week later. And she's healed quite fast. And guess what? Patty's grown a miniature arm. She has this little arm. Can't keep a good diva down. And you know that's happened in real life. You know that like during

anything goes, like a toe fell off or something. It's like, don't worry. It'll be fixed by Tuesday. Literally anything goes. Anything grows. The octopus batting the phone music. And then he, and then of course, Craig has to make it all about himself. He goes, seeing her with her little nubby tentacle, I realized that I too was getting past difficulties in a strange way our lives were mirroring each other like Craig you did not lose a limb okay while your friend watched okay like your thing is that like um you you said hi to your wife today for the first time in six months it's not the same it's like my relationship with people with humans were changing my son at this stage was fairly interested

in everything under the water so i put him down into the water waited for a shock to bite one of his limbs off and said, there, now we both know how patty feels. I like that he said his relationship with humans was changing, and yet we really saw none of his relationship with humans, except for his son's swimming. I mean, that was nice. His son was swimming, but, like, why don't you show us your wife or family? I mean, assuming he has a wife, oh, my God, could you imagine we're saying all this stuff and his wife has, like, passed away or something?

You take it all back. I hope not. Geez. Maybe that's why he was so depressed, actually. Okay, what's his name? Let's look it up. Oh, that we're such assholes. Craig Foster?

I think it was Craig Foster. Australian retired soccer player. Octopus. Craig Foster, Octopus. Craig Octopus. Wife. We're doing like an emergency like. Okay.

Is he married? There's an actual article that says from the Cinemaholic. Craig Foster, everything we know. Oh, my God. Where's he from? He's from South Africa. Yes. What does he do?

Okay. Yes. Yes. Where's his wife? I don't see it yet. Where is he now? His wife, Svati Thia Garajan. Okay, good.

Oh, he lives in a pristine hillside overlooking False Bay. Of course he lives in False Bay. What's False Bay? I don't know, but that's where he lives. They have a, when I looked up her name, there's a little video, and from far away, it's a very small picture of her, but she has a Padma vibe. She's very beautiful. Smala.

Okay, now I have to look where False Bay is. False Bay. Oh, yeah, there she is. False Bay is a body of water in the Atlantic Ocean between the mountainous. Oh, so this was the house that we just saw, right? No, no, you're looking at the wrong Craig Foster. That's not... Oh, wait, no, Craig Foster wife, Swati?

Yeah, Swati... Oh, my God, she's gorgeous. See, okay, so here's the thing with Craig. Now that we know he has a gorgeous wife, of course he's the guy who's like, good-looking, has a gorgeous wife, has a gorgeous house, has everything perfect, and he's like, but something's missing.

It's like, Craig, look around, you've got everything. Yeah, and she's a famous author, too. Wow. Okay, I'm so glad she's alive So we can continue Me too, you really scared me I was like, we're gonna have to re-record this I can't go through the emotions again

Well guess what? Day 250 The octopus's confidence is back She's back baby Limited engagement on Broadway My name and the big lights Because I'm back and I'm going for the Tony Hmm

Finally 180 days later My arm is regrown So violence are playing and he's like, it's amazing to think this animal is capable of that withstanding that type of attack and fully recovering. And I'm so happy because I thought this was it

for her. I was like, this is over. I was already crying. I was ready to just be done with this whole thing. But she's back. She's got a second chance, baby. She's got a second wind and Craig is busy appropriating her pain. When I lost my limb during that shock attack, I didn't think there was another chapter

for me. Like, no, it wasn't you, Craig. You did not lose the limb. So she goes back to normal, and she's slinking on a rock. And he's like, it was a nice, calm, clear day. There's crabs chilling. And she comes around the corner, and she sees a crab. Yeah, it's basically if you never saw it. From Warpaint.

She's basically like, I'm not. She's like, uh-uh, no, no, no, I'm the one here. I'm going to win this. Yeah. And she's like, the problem. He says, the problem, when you all crap. Did we see that musical together, Warpaint? No.

You saw it, no. You just saw it by yourself and told me about it. Oh, so good. I mean, not really, but it was cool to see them. Um, he's like, the problem when you're a crab, you're now being hunted by a liquid animal. She could pull herself through a tiny crack. I know the feeling of being hunted by a liquid animal. I'm like, no, you don't. Craig. You don't know the feeling. And Craig, can you just, okay, just, just, just grab the crab and give it to where, like, this is, this is spending so much energy. So this crab, this is. This crab, this is. This is. This is. crab thinks it's got it all figured out. I kind of felt bad for this crab, mainly because it was about to die. But also, like, I don't know, sometimes, I mean, I find crabs to be hilarious because they're like basically the Bethany Frankels of the sea, right? Like, so what's matter what's happening? What's going on? Just hanging out here. Okay, you know what you got to? Okay, just get away from me, okay? You're a liquid animal. Okay, how about you eat out the liquid? Okay, because I'm a crab, okay? Let me just, okay, I'm going to jump off this ledge, okay? I can't. I literally can't. And the crab, now, I was wondering, why am I feeling

for the octopus and now I'm never going to eat an octopus again but I'm not feeling for the crab is it because I think the crab is dumber than the octopus and so yeah the crab is crab is crabby I guess but the crab it's kind of a cute scene even though you know it's going to end in death and I was like this is sick that I'm thinking this is cute but anyway the crab is knows that she's coming for it right she can't really see it because it's so good at hiding itself and turning into rocks I mean the whole time it's changing you to different things it's so cool terrifying for the I know, but the crabs just knows that it's there. It senses it, right? So it starts

hiding, and then it waits, and then it just waits, and then it hides under, like, the C version of Mrs. Roper. Stanley, is there a crab under me? Yeah. Hey, Stanley, I finally got crabs. It's like, oh, gross. Like, Mrs. Roper

making old gross sex jokes. It's this big red C-enemone. Is it anemone? Enemy? How do you say it? Anemone? Whatever it is. I don't know.

I wrote Poisonous Enemy, but I was like, wow, why would they name that thing an enemy? It's like the most gorgeous pink, you know, frilly dress, frumpy, like, moo-mo. Yeah, it is. No, but it's spelled, I think, A-N-E-M-O-N-E. I think it's anemone. And it's, you know, it's like clownfish hangout in them, like, hmm, I want to get me, you'll have to deal with Mrs. Roper first. So the crab is, like, under it. And then, so Patty's like, fine, I'll wait.

I can always wait. Okay, this show is not starting without me. So she just waits and the crab, this is where the crab is not very Bethany, because Bethany would never fall for this shit. Maybe now the crap is smarter, for sure. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's not Bethany. It just has a Bethany vibe, but maybe it's, I don't know what would be a more accurate

Bravo star for this, for this crap. Maybe Kristen from. Or like a Raquel. It's kind of a Raquel, I guess. Rakell is the jellyfish. I'm going to hide any dress. It's like you're wearing a dress. No, the crab is Lindsay from Summerhouse.

You do not want to see me activate it. I'm going to pinch you. Oh, my God. And then, like, hides. And it's like, I'm literally in, like, a new hiding space. And this is awesome. But then someone tells her that there's, like, a cocktail special at, like, Hampton Social or whatever it was. She's like, oh, my God, I got to leave Mrs. Rover to go out and find a cocktail special.

I'm going to hide in the shell. Like, oh, that's your body. So. So it thinks everything's okay. Here's there's an event at Hampton Social and comes out and dumb ass. I mean, God, dumb, dumb, dumb. So the close, you see the close up of the arm and it starts to kind of envelop the crab. And you should be yelling, run, crab, run.

But I'm like, I can still eat crabs are idiots. Yeah. Patty's like, give me that. And she's like, try to grab it. And so then this crab just was like, then the crab just like, skitters away somehow. And then it just like careens off of a, off of like a sea cliff. And then it's just like floating and just like it's a full on like Lindsay like, do not activate me straight to the rose. Yeah. And just like floating through the water. Yeah, dropping like a slow motion diehard. It's like, that's it. I'm going off this building. And then it just like drops where you're like, it's the water. How fast can you drop? You're a crab. And also crabs are there. It's not fair what God did to crabs. I feel like God was like, ha, ha, you're going to get eaten. I'll give you a shell, but you're never going to walk straight. So, for one thing, you can only see sides to side.

Yeah. And, like, everyone can get through your shell, too, by the way. Your shell is just, like, a fake defense, because, like, everyone gets through crab shells. Like, every animal has figured out a way to get through cramps shells. Don't worry. Your shell's going to be super hard unless it's wet. Enjoy looking delicious, too, by the way. Oh, gosh.

So yeah, so it drops, and then we see a close-up on the crab's eye, like, oh, fuck me. And then the octopus jumps on top of it and spreads out and just like envelops it, you know, and then takes it back to the rock. And then Craig, being so, like, judgey to his friend is like, well, she's not a very clean eater. Just let her eat her food, okay? So then, so she, of course, she does have, like, food everywhere, and, like, this crab is, like, everywhere. And then all these, like, creepy-ass, I think they were called Brittle Stars.

They approached out of nowhere there. Like, they look, those look like aliens. They're like these little black squares, but they have, like, those forearms. They just, like, it seems like they don't have eyes or mouth. Whatever they are. They come out of nowhere and they just like starfish. They're like starfish in the movie Alien, you know? Yes.

They look, they're black. They're terrifying. And she just tips one over, like she flings one over on its back. And it really does look like a starfish, but there's. just like the creepiest, scariest version of Starfish. Yeah, they were terrible. I hated them. They just kept coming, and I was like, please stop. And

she's just like, you know, she's like, get out, get out. This dressing room is for friends and family only. Get out. Get out, especially if you're Glenn fucking close. So he says she's going to have this problem of bitter stars taking all of her food

and not that long in the future. she thought, there's brittle stars coming after her, and then I realize she has this talent of picking them up with her suckers and throwing them out of the den. Now she's the boss. And I was like, yes, girl. But also, like, she literally has eight arms. Like, what did he expect her to do? Like, she does, like, literally the simplest thing. She takes an arm and bats them away, of course. They're, like, they basically are, like, they basically look like Oreos, Oreos with legs. Like, they're not going to have a huge amount of defense. But it is funny how she does it like she suckers one she suckers one with just like one sucker and just flips it on its

back and it's like hey wait a minute god damn it and now where are the sharks for why don't the sharks eat the brittle the brittle stars because like something should eat them i don't want them around i don't know they really show you in this that there is like the order you know the order of the food chain and how everything has something to eat or whatever yeah it's so terrible i would hate to be like like in i don't want to be in the food chain like that you know like to think that Like, your entire life is basically like, like, am I going to be eaten by something else today? Like, that's a terrible way to live. Yeah, well, I guess, I think humans are probably going to end up getting eaten one day.

Like, aliens are going to come down and be like, oh, Ronnie looks delicious. He's been seasoned with cheese, tomato sauce, and carbs for 40 years. Get him. Pretty much. So now Patty decides, now that she's, like, all cocky because she got a crab, now she wants to go for a lobster. and she's like not very good catching lobsters she keeps on trying to do crab techniques on lobsters but you know those are two different kind of you know beasts and so she keeps on like whiffing she keeps like sort of like trying to do like almost like a big like surprise I'm hugging you

but like the lobsters like I'm out of here like every single time yeah she like tries to do the embrace thing yeah where she's like sneaking up but the lobster and lobsters aren't that bright either like they swim backwards I never knew that did you Well, I read, I recently read a book called The Secret Life of Lobster, so I actually know way more about lobsters than I ever thought I would. Like, did you know that they pee out of their eyeballs? How about that? Oh, like Michael from Real House of Potomac. Yeah, no, they do like, they do like shoot backwards like that. And I used to know, like if you asked me about two months ago, I could give you every single fact about a lobster,

but now they've already started to fade. It's like an enemy's coming and they're depressing reverse you know and you just yeah movies where they're going down the freeway all in reverse speeding away um also they're not the cutest animals which i don't know if that makes me feel better and well well that that lobster was like that was a like a spiny lobster so it didn't have the big claws when you have the big claws they become a lot cuter oh okay you know when it's just like body and and tail it's kind of they look a little ridiculous so then he starts noticing all the animals that she's capturing and he's like well how is she killing them and eating them, you know?

Because, like, let's face it, she's not the most graceful. Like, she's got to eat arms. So then he says that at the base of all of her arms, there's a drill, and it can drill through the shell, and it drops poison into the shells to see how they react. So she has to test different ways to get into that shell and find just the right spot to drop the poison into because it'll only relax if it's right in the apex of the shell. And he's like, the geometry that she does. to drill the precise spot to get her food.

It's very high level. But still pretty much a lower primate. Let's let's not cross that line, right? She will never have the right to vote. That much I can tell you. But great with geometry. Yeah, and he's like, she's teaching me so much. And we just see him with shells.

He's like learning about shells. He's like saying, oh, there's a hole in that shell. Okay, I've learned. I'm like, Wikipedia could do the same thing. That's pretty badass, though. Like, I never, I mean, Of course, I don't know that much, so I'm impressed by everything. But I was like, oh, I guess you do see those shells at the ocean that have a little hole drilled in there.

It's like, how did that happen? Who drilled a hole in it? Well, was that hole from the drill, or was that hole? She drilled that hole, right? She drilled it. Yeah, she drills it, and then she drops poisoning, and then the animal opens up and comes out of the shell so she can eat it. Yeah, exactly. Also, I like that we saw, there was like a cutaway shot, too.

It looked like a sea slug that was wearing a yarmaca. and how I was like, I love that my people are being represented in the kelp forests. It's like a slug with a yarmulka, literally a slug with a yarmaca. So on his board, he's like, now I know how the helmet shell is connected to the octopus. And I know how all these lines and dots are connecting with all the animals of the ocean. And then we see some more amazing footage with the unsung hero of this film, the jellyfish. I mean, wow. Jellyfish is not getting any credit.

Deli fish are just floating around, looking beautiful. They are. Just stunningly gorgeous. Okay, so like the forest mind, I could feel it. That big creature. It was a thousand times more awake and intelligent. This giant underwater brain developing for millions of years, keeping everything in balance.

And everything was perfect in the forest. And then horror music, of course. It's a shark. By the way, everything was imbalanced little you showed up Craig let's not forget you're the one who was the outsider here with your camera balanced tipper it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial so here comes the sharks okay so scary ass sharks I don't like it the shark looks bigger than it ever has it's just so big and so now there's like this really harrowing shark sequence that

really stressed me out the entire time. I'm not going to lie. I was very stressed during all this. It was really, really stressful because you kind of know what's coming, right? And he looks just so sad. I mean, he's about to jump off the rock he lives on. Yeah, so he's so depressed, and he's blinking back to years the whole time. So he swims down, and there's horn music, and he's like, I have this burnt in my memory of this shock just suddenly approaching. She gets still and tried to hide, and he just saw the shock swimming on the periphery, picking up a scent. And I thought, oh, no, this nightmare is happening all over again. And then, like, a chase begins. So now it's like, the shark is chasing the octopus and everything. And then, like, she's like, she just, like,

finds some kelp and she's, like, latches onto it. And she's like, I'm getting back into my fur. Because she, like, whenever she finds, like, a leaf, she just gets so glamorous. And she rolls herself up and she hides. And the shark is like, she's, like, looking out from the kelp, like, is he there? Is he there? Are the critics he still? So, so the shark is like swimming around, smelling her, and, like, biting off pieces of kelp really aggressively. I was like, that's not cool. That was like, can you just, like, eat a little more politely, like, with your violent bites of kelp? No reason not to have manners. Yeah, seriously. So it's dumb, you know, and it's only going off smell. So, yes, it's snapping it all the kelp. And this guy also, again, has bald

of steel following this. Because it's like he's right there the whole time. I mean, he gets such amazing footage. And he holds his breath for such a long time. I know. But I'm also like, she's probably like, yo, could you like get away from me? I'm trying to hide like this camera right here. Like this is pretty much tipping off the shark where I am. Could you just like go? Get out of my help. Yeah, true. But she also hides and so it's like there's so many rocks, girl. And you're hiding like, it's like, Patty the, okay, Patty, Patty, someone's coming. She's like, all right, I'll be a showgirl. They're like, well, like, that's not helping.

All right, I'll be a tap dancing show girl. How about this, boy? No, go to your, no, go to your panic room. All right, give me a fur and a bow and a top hat. We're going to do this the proper way. No, just get to your panic room. She's doing like Busby Berkeley down there. So she shoots, she finally, the shark is going to get her, right?

Because she's in this fabulous outfit. So she shoots out of the outfit and blows ink out. and then she is running so hard she's like fuck it i'm going to where the guy came from so she climbs out of the water onto a rock and he follows her right up onto the rock and um he's like i'm amazed i almost can't believe my eyes but then the problem is of course she's got to go back and so she's oh god this is heart-wrenching so she jumps back in and the shark picks up her scent again and then another crazy chase is on she runs like hell and then she sinks back into a rock and the shark keeps coming and coming at her and coming

out her. Yeah. And at this point, again, I'm like, Craig, at what point are you like, you've already, like, you've got to step in here, Craig. I mean, you already gave her a muscle, so you've already crossed a line. So it's fine. Just get rid of that shark because this is your friend here and this is going on way too long. It's over.

Enough. Enough. Yeah, it's too much, dude. So then he's like, and then, oh, so. So then she goes to, go ahead, what are you saying? No, I'm just laughing because I know where this is heading. And basically, she finds a bunch of shells. She has like a moment of freedom.

So she finds a bunch of shells and she wraps herself up in the shells just like before. And Craig has like the most obvious realization. And he's like, and that's when I realized when she surrounded herself with shells, she was doing it to protect herself. I'm like, yeah, do you know what shells are for? They're not only for accessories. I know, but she does it so fabulously. It's so cool because she's got, like, thousands of suckers on her.

And she just grabs individual shells from all over and puts together this amazing out. I mean, she just looks gorgeous. It's like Molly Ringwald and Pretty and Pink, how she shows her own prom dress, you know? It's like, oh, my God, she's so talented. But this thing does it in two seconds. I love the pockets. I love the silhouette. I love it.

The only thing I don't like about this outfit is, is the death. So, yeah, she's like crazy little piece of art, you know, this like beautiful shell ball, the shell bowling ball. And the shark doesn't, the shark doesn't notice her at first, but then obviously he smells probably the old spice covering her. And it comes and it grabs her. And then I'm losing my fucking mind at this point.

Yeah, it is like, so Patty, like Patty is a ball of shells and the octopus has her in his mouth. And it's just like shaking, shaking, shaking, just trying to, like, get her to relent. And the shark is doing whatever I can. And then, of course, Craig's like, but I have to breathe. So he goes up and he takes a breath. And then when he comes back down again, Patty has done the most Patty Lepone thing of all time, which is, for some reason, somehow we will never know how.

She is now on top of the shark just riding it like a horse. Still all in her shells. She's fucking amazing this chick. I guess she reached up somehow and stuck herself onto his back and pulled herself up there and confused the hell out of him because he can't move to catch her back there. And so it's like this beautiful little jeweled shell bowling ball riding a shark. It's like this weird thing of like, wait, what? There's an octopus riding a shark.

And she's just like, here I am, boys. I told you what anything goes. Oh, my God. And then, so the shark is like, you know, just. Go on and blow Gabriel This is when Jill Zarin gets fired off the housewives

She's like What, huh? What? Huh? Sorry, Jill Zarin. The audience just thought you were too negative this time. Sorry, you're a shark And then you end up with an octopus on your back.

It just doesn't work with your brand. We're going to have to demote you. So she's swimming And the shark doesn't know how to get her And he goes, the shark had just been completely outwitted. And then the shark just so dumbly. I mean, you just, it's like the dumb. They just lost McCulley Colkin again, you know.

It's like they had him cornered and they firebombed the wrong house. This shark, I hope that this shark was actually just like banished from that, that like, weird shark sex cave. Because like, they probably were all watching like, seriously, like this really, like, do you see yourself? You have, it's on your back. It's on your back. You are ashamed to all of us sharks and you are banished. Go out to find another kelp forests. Well, maybe that's why they were biting them in the beginning, you know,

because all of the stuff starts to circle back. And in the beginning, we saw the sharks fighting with each other. And maybe they were just like, you idiot! You either get an octopus or you're out of this family. And that's been his arc the entire time. We told you to get a job. We told you get a job. Earn your own money and, like, make a decent name for yourself.

And what are you doing? You're writing around with an octopus on your back? So she finally gets off of him because he's so dumb. Like she sees a rock and she pushes herself off of him and slinks into this rock. And Craig is just so impressed. Everyone's impressed. I'm like cheering in my house. And then they do a close.

He does a close up on her face. And it's so awesome. Like she's just peeking out from this rock and she squints her eyes like, yes. Fucked with the wrong octopus. Yeah, not only did I win, but I humiliated you, you stupid shark. That was on film, moron. You'll always have to live with that. I don't know what's going to happen with me going forward, but you will always have to live with that.

So he starts saying that he suspect that he was around for about 80% of her life, which, you know, you now know, like, uh-oh. things are wrapping up here and then we have this it's like there's a school of fish that have come by and there's all these fish and Patty just has all her arms up

and she just like slap me at the fish like hello hello oh I love when all my fans come to see me hello who wants an autograph I'm very approachable despite what the articles

say about me look at me I'm having here so here's my arm here's an arm here's an arm I'm not getting in that limo until everybody has

a signature on a ticket pass over the play bill honey she's signing all these on and the fish are kind of it looks like the fish are playing with her because they keep coming over in their school and then like sitting right above her and then she snatches it all of them and then they run but then they come right back and then she she chases i think the fish are dumb i think the fish are just have no idea what's going on they're like oh shit we got to get out of here wait a second what if we go back there though

she's like oh the dumb fish are back i love playing these idiots We were getting swatted at, but now we're not getting swatted at. Maybe if we go back to the place that we got swatted at, we won't get swatted at anymore. Maybe next time, won't get swatted at. Get out of here, Patty. Get out of your life. This is my catfars. It's only room for one diva in this place.

Swat, swat, swat, swat. So I thought she was playing with it. It looks totally like animals playing. Well, I mean, you know, it looks like Dodd's playing with whatever fish. I can't make a comparison, really. He's like, well, I was like, hold on. When she hunts, she's strategic and focused. This behavior doesn't feel predatory.

She's playing with them. Yeah. And she's like this antisocial animal playing with fish. And then when she's on playing, she sees Craig and she like swims up to him and then cuddles up on his body and it's like just so cute she's like my friend who doesn't save me around sharks but still like I've just come to accept that about him and you can't change people

and I've accepted him for who he is and I really like him he's a terrible protector but he's got soft skin so I'm going to cuddle on him so they cuddle and then he goes and that was the last time we had physical contact I was like no I know and then

he's about to cry and then day 324 a storm's succumbed and the water are all, you know, rough and there's sentiment everywhere, or sediment everywhere. And he goes down and horror movie, BORN. There's another big octopus right next to her. Tony's very. It's very rare to see two octopus close together.

Oh, my God. Where the hell did this guy come from? What's going on? I hate to break it to you, Craig, but certain things have. happen when a man octopus and a lady octopus have feelings for each other. Yeah, but octopus is such men, you know? It's like, I'm gonna come here, lay you and get out of here. Have fun raising off five million children. I know. He lays next there and he's like, all right, they're boning, I guess. And one of them has their octopus arms sticking straight up, which was hilarious, like a boner. And I don't know if it was like touching the camera or what it was, but. But did you notice that?

I did. At that point, I was like, now Craig knows what it's like to be a gay man, okay? Because when you're straight friends have babies and then you never see them again. Okay, that's what you just got the experience. Congratulations. But last time she had dinner with me. The last time we had bread. Before she had a baby.

Then she got a baby. This is what it is, people. I'm just breaking the news to you. You may not like it, but this is. The truth. By this stage, I knew quite well the stages of an octopus's life, so while I was excited to see the meeting, I mean, who wouldn't be, Bonitown, there was a dread in the bottom of my stomach.

She wasn't coming out of that den. There was no more feeding, no more game night, no more films at the Arklight. How did, I have a question though. How did Tony Shalup find her? Because like, it seemed like she was the only octopus in town. He must have just been, like, it must be something, like, when the guy is ready to do it. He just starts, like, trolling, you know, kelp forest or something like that. You know, it was those idiot gossipy fish that were like, what, would you slut, get off the street, slut?

Huh, look at the lady slut, walking down the street, like a lady. This lady slapping at us. Yeah, they're like, hey, octopus, stud, you're looking for that slut. She's probably into that rock over there, looking like a bowling ball or something. Slot. Stupid slut hanging out with humans. Why don't you show what a real octopus is like? Yeah, they were like the busybody townspeople.

They have like bandanas in their hair. Chewing gum. Yeah. Yeah, about that slut down by the corner of the catfire. She's hanging up with a human. Yeah, why don't you show, why don't you be a real octopus and show what a real octopus does? How about that, huh? Yeah.

Hide your husband's ladies. It's like, so. Yeah, all of them. So, uh, he's like, I just keep going back every day to check. And she's oxygenating her eggs with her siphon. She's slowing her death And timing her death For the hatching of those eggs

And it struck home so hard of me Here's an invertebrate, a mollusk Sacrificing her life For her young Reminds me so much of myself Like how I almost sacrifice my life Really only for myself Actually, actually

Yeah, it was just for myself I have an entire family And I could have died many, many times out here Just for the sake of an octave lesson Left them in the Lurch But it did remind me of me of me in some sort of way. So then the eggs hatch, and they're these tiny invisible, like their see-through little tiny

things, and they go into the water column. And she's not eating. She's not eating at all, by the way. Right. She's like Jessica Tandy, end of cocoon, like totally, full on. And so they all had, she's spent all her energy doing this. Again, like, Mark, where's your muscle now? Like, maybe she wants to eat something.

Because, like, she can't afford to leave. because they'd be vulnerable. So she just has to, like, chill there and not feed and not hunt. And it's like, bring her a muscle. Maybe she wants to be there for her kids, okay? No, it's time to die. It's just how it works out. So she's starting to die, basically.

And then, of course, the asshole townspeople come out and just start eating her. Yeah, because she sort of, like, she sort of, like, tumbles out of the den. She's so weak, she, like, the water, I think, just sort of, like, washes her out of the den. So now she's just, like, out there on the sidewalk, like, in her bathrobe with, like, Hey, I used to be on Broadway, you know? Yeah, she's all white and she's dying. It's so sad. So, of course, I'm crying.

You know, I'm crying at this part. And then these fucking starfish things, these... Get away from her. Give her some privacy. Monsters. They just start pulling on her leg. Just ripping her apart, eating her alive. Really, really...

Fucking real stars. I can't stand them. God. I think the best are... Why do you want to live in the middle of nowhere? Don't you want to live in a community? No, this is why. this is what they do to you, you know?

They see you out there at your worst, and what do they do? They fucking eat you, stupid brittle stars. And then, of course, I'm surprised it took this long. This shows how stupid those pajama sharks are because she's just laying out there vulnerable for like two days, and then finally a shark just comes and is like, all right, I'm taking this

and just comes and eats her. I was actually almost happy at that point because I was like, can we put her out of her misery from these fucking brittle stars and those random ass like Dinaman off fish? just like get her out of there so the Jill's Aaron just comes in one soup just eats it

in her mouth and just goes I don't know why it took two days for that shark to find literally free food like a big old piece of free food dumbest shark ever and then it took it home I was like I finally did it and like congrats theater you got a dead one

yeah you found your hat congratulations yeah God it was it was sad and Craig starts to choke up and this is when I started I started to choke up now also

I was like damn it I can't believe I'm joking out, but he's, like, looking out and he's like, he's like, sometimes I float above her then, I miss her. I was like, oh, I miss her too. Oh, my God. And he's like, I mean, in some way it was a relief because the intensity of going every day, tracking her, trying to capture footage, it was tough in a way. I just, I slept, I dreamt this animal.

The other night, I was in a deep sleep, and I woke myself up because apparently I was singing, his wife is like yeah was that tough for you going to check that octopus every day yeah you know what i was doing everything in the house right while you were gone every single thing yeah that was tough for me too oh so yeah this was so sad but then we see two sets of feet now walking along the beach and he's with his son and his son is now older his son has grown up a lot Yeah, like a lot, just like a year. Yeah, he's teaching his son how to do it,

and his son is, like, very natural in the freezing-ass water, and I'm sure the mother loves that, too. Like, I'm taking our son into freezing water. Kiss your mother, it might be the last time. He is developing a gentleness from nature, because nature is so gentle, like when that shark destroyed Patty. Yeah, don't worry. If he doesn't make it, I'll ask the brittalfish to eat him.

So then the sun's... finds like this tiny little octopus, a little baby octopus, and he's starting to imagine that it might be one of her young, because it's like rather the size that it should be, and it's in the area. I mean, I'm fully convinced it's Patty's daughter. Yes, it's like a little baby Patty. A little baby Patty. And, um, you know, it's like exciting. And now there's just like swimming and there's like seals, there's like seals hanging around, you know, which is fun. There's like a sea otter, I think, at one point.

That's so cute. And then we see all the babies of the. forest because I guess they're showing us the circle of life or the cycle of life that you know things go they leave the they lead these really violent scary lives where they're always protecting themselves from each other basically but then they're always being constantly being reborn you know and so they show like a little baby otter and even a little baby shark we get to see born there's like a cuddlefish there was like he was like he was like chilling with a cuddlefish which is like not the same as an october for sure, but I guess it's like, okay.

Which one was that? Was that the one that's half fish and half octopus where it has this, like, fingery? That was a funny one. I like that one. It's like, okay, like, I appreciate you, Cuddlefish, but you're like, you're not quite a squid. You're not quite an octopus. You're just, you're not the same.

I just, like, it's just, I'm sorry. I don't want to continue seeing it. I was like, who makes, they probably all make fun of the Cottlefish because it's such a dumb-looking little thing, but he's being nice to it. And then it's really cute because he's actually friends with the fish, like the fish come up to him and then he's holding one in his hands in the water and petting it. Yeah. Oh, it was so cute. And I can never eat a fish again now.

And then, yeah, and then like we see a flashback of Patty, like touching him on his mask, which is so sweet, Patty, you know, she's so inquisitive. And he realizes that, like, you know, that you're part of this space. You're not a visitor. You're part of this space. I am amphibious. And he has now, like, actually developed a group of people who dive with him and, like, chicken on the kelp forest and, you know, like... Yeah, they all go on a group and into the water. And one of the last shots is a shot of Patty when she's, like, had a long day of play with

her friend, and she's back in her little nest, and it does a close-up on her eyes, like, squinting happily and then closing, like, a little doggy taking a nap. I mean, this was the best fucking thing I've ever... ever seen. I love this. I was crying. I'm going to watch it probably a million times. I think we should make it a musical.

It was just great. Well, it was great, and this bonus is actually longer than the movie itself. Yeah. But there was a lot to take in and a lot to discuss. This was really, it turns out that we can do, it was actually really not that hard to recap this as a nature documentary. It was actually pretty easy. I mean, this was fucking beautiful to watch. It was really great to talk about.

It was longer than the film. I guess that's normal for us. But thank you for being a part of this two-parter, everybody. Thanks for listening to us. And we will be back next week with God knows what else. But it better not involve something adorable dying because I'm not going to make it for much longer if we have to do that all the time.

Seriously. Thanks, everyone. Have a great day. Bye. Bye. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alice and,

Block. Our way is the Amberway. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Alfoot. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gautier. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickleus. Hava Nigelah Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey. She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Pistin Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K. Surrah, Sarah, whatever will be will

Lauren Sillsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie McKinery. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the This is Living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold. with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't

get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hale the corkmaster, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manaw. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. Gee, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthie.

Always killing it, it's Low Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximuska. She's the Queen B. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Teleth Sun.

Shannon, out of a cannon. and Anthony. Please don't stop at Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. You'll always get the full story with Tori, Parsons. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wendry.com slash survey.