Watch What Crappens - #3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

Happy New Year!Hark! A sneaky iconic episode. Luann gets arrested, yes, but also this is where Ramona uttered the famous words “You don’t support other women!” It doesn’t get better than peak RHONY.This episode originally aired May 2018

Hey, crap, crap, watch what happens, what happens when there's so much that crapans, a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to watch i'm ben mandelker and joining me on this wonderful thursday afternoon is hilarious and glorious and um supportive of other women ronnie caram uh from rose pricks bachelor rose what's going on ronnie well hello man how are you i'm doing so great today okay okay classic episode real house west new york city oh my god this was an amazing episode. I could not believe this gift that came down from the Bravo gods. It's just, Real House House of New York, they know how to bring it, which at this point is now just sounding cliche or what, trite, or, I don't know, it's like, it's not a

novel thing to say they know how to bring it. But every time they do bring it, it's like, wow, wow, they just bring it nonstop. I mean, this was, this was an episode that had like three full cast set pieces in it, you know, and that's just powerful. their course, you know, and we say it a million times. Everyone always says that, you know, if this were Beverly Hills, this would be three episodes right here. But the truth is, I mean, it's true. It's like, like, no other, none of these other franchises can compete. Oh my God, we'd have interventions for like 12 different people, like even side characters on this show. Oh my, I just, I can't run it. This, this episode was so good. It was so

I was cracking up the entire time. I mean, everything. And I mean, these editors, they know how to craft a show. The producers and the editors, who obviously worked well together, they are just blazing hot. This is like Emmy-worthy storytelling right here. Like, those Emmy voters have, no, I'm serious. Those Emmy voters have to get their snobbery out of their asses.

Okay. When it comes to the reality TV category, like this needs to. to be nominated for whatever, what is the category? It's like reality, non-competition, something another. Like, sorry, like, let's, can we, like, not give it to Deadliest Catch or not nominate Deadliest Catch or Crabs on the Ocean or whatever those shows are called? Like, can we, can we at least get some appreciation for the craftsmanship that goes into a show like this?

Because it is, it is better and funnier than a lot of scripted television shows. There, I said it. Game of Thrones. Mm-hmm. Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, Lord knows, there's enough dragons, you know, breathing all over people in this show. Yeah. So we opened where we left off last week.

Thank you. Let me have that rant. Thank you. Thank you for letting me have them. No, I was with you. And if ever I'm in the Emmy voting category, I will say, no more to you, amazing race. What is so amazing about your race anyway? Please bring me to the Real House of New York City.

Top Chef. Take a seat, sir. Well, I mean, I'm trying to remember. It's like, it's, I'm sorry. Isn't that always amazing? I'm winding myself up. Well, they're in the competition category. I think the non-competition category is like inside the actor's studio or something like that, which is like, fine.

But like, come on, here's the thing. You interview actors. Wow! Yeah, how about, go back to entertainment tonight, James Lipton. Yeah, go back to making tea, James Lipton. Yeah, no kidding. Go back to tea bagging, you son of a guy. Go back to sitting on a chair.

General Nexer route Ooh, just ruined your life Here's the thing Here's why Real House House of New York Will never get nominated for an Emmy In the reality non-competition program Whatever Is A, there is a lot of snobbery

When it comes to reality TV Even amongst, I don't know who votes For reality TV in the Emmys Because I don't know if it's people Who work in reality Or if it's the whole thing So first of all, I suspect it's the entire academy So they already have skewed views

On what is good reality TV you know um it's just you know it's probably like a lot of old people who you know care more about game of thrones and they do about reality tv so they're like oh well this james lipton he looks sophisticated you know and yeah and like and people also fail to realize that real housewives of new york really ultimately is a comedy it is a comedy show and people see them like oh it's just it's just women arguing you know it's kind of this like elitist view on these shows this elitist Like, if it's not made for men, it's not serious and shouldn't be taken seriously. And I say, stop it.

Oh, for Christ's sake. Everybody, go march in the streets for the real househouse. It's like the reverse, the reverse feminism march. Like, let's go, march for housewives. It is all ladies fighting. And guess what? That is fine by me. I'm saying it is.

That doesn't art unto itself. But I'm saying it should be, here's the thing. The perspective should be, you know what, that is old ladies fighting. I'm nominating it. not it's just old ladies fighting whatever let the ladies be ladies you know snobbery i'm with you thank you you know i'm with you i'm not going to argue with that thank you i'm just going to sit here and cheer you on silently sorry the side of the road i'm putting it on yeah that was jolly care by the way yeah she cares about us jolly care we care about you okay so we start where we

left off last week at durenda's house with bethany and carroll and their passive aggressive aggressive, passive, passive, passive, aggressive, aggressive, fighting and flapper outfits. Yeah, that's the best part is that they have this really, they have a serious fight while dressed like they're, you know, from the Great Gatsby. Yes, and people online have pointed out that Bethany's basically wearing a silver thong on her head.

Now, as someone who doesn't wear thongs, I didn't see that. But now I do see it, and it's all I can see. Yeah, that is actually an amazing observation. Thank you, Internet. Yes, thank you. So they're in the middle of their fight. we start with Carol going, come on, let me talk. You talk a lot, please. And Bethany goes, well, when you talk, you talk, you talk whiny, okay? You have whiny talk. You want to, you want a whiny talk

right now? Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. It's funny. It's funny. It's like, me. It's like, me. So she's like, you don't want to let me tell my story, Carol. You don't want to let me tell my story. She's like, I just want to know. Now, you don't want to know because you won't let me talk. So neither one of them is letting the other one talk, but neither one of them really has anything to say. Well, they actually do have things to say, but instead of actually just saying it, they are getting caught up on, you won't let me talk. You're talking over me. I'm like, oh, I just say what you have to say. Well, don't talk over me. Okay. So, and then Bethany would be like, well, here's what I felt. Okay. I was like, they get to talk to over me. It's like, you know,

you guys are arguing over, like, Carol, stop interrupting her. Just hold your tongue for a second. And Bethany, stop getting hung up on the fact that she's interrupting you and just say what you have to say, okay. There's a song. It's called, say you. Dang me. I know that song. Hit it, boys. Say you, say me, say it together. Like you have a cabaret at three, two, one, I'm going to be in Chicago.

All right, what rhymes with Adam's an operator? Okay. Okay, so this is where the fight gets really weird for me because, again, the show makes me jump sides every damn show. I'm a hypocrite. And I don't even know what side I'm on anymore because Bethany's like, well, yeah, of course I call him an operator. Remember when we talked, I called him an operator. I told you, I think he's an operator, which if she already told you that, what do you man at? Just because he works for the phone company doesn't mean that he's an operator. Just because

his phone number is zero. Just because I met him when I called 212-55-1-2-1-2 doesn't make him an operator. Well, you know, it's all a branding issue. I mean, if my phone number was zero, I'd say it was, oh. Give me a call it. Oh, yes, it was so nice of Oprah Winfrey to make a magazine about my phone number. Oh, thank you, sir, to Solay. I'm going to sue Oprah Winfrey for publishing my phone number to the masses. So Bethany is like, you know what, this is about different places, you know? Like, you were traveling with Tinsley and like, you know, and like, and I don't need your commentary.

And I don't need your commentary. And I was like, oh, yeah, you know, you're right. My friend in L.A.'s husband died, so I spent time in L.A. too. So thanks for reminding me that my friend's husband died. You know, like, they weren't really getting anywhere. Yes, and then you've got Sonia shaking her head over on the side. Like, she's the mature one. I love when Sonia's the mature one.

It always cracks me up. She's like, this is very awkward because they're very close friends of mine. And Carol's like, yeah, but you said you told me about telling Adam Houston, and you never told me about Adam. Which, who cares? What is this about telling Carol about Adam going to Houston? Why does that matter? I don't know.

I was actually a little confused as to what. was said to what and what was offensive to what at this point. But basically, Bethany is getting frustrated. So she stands up to leave, Durinda's like, don't leave, don't leave, say what you have to say, don't leave. So Bethany's like, oh, right, right. So she sits down and she's like, okay, like, don't interrupt me. Okay, just let me see what I got to say. All right. So here's the deal. So what I, when I, when I texted you and I said this thing about Adam and Carol's like, exactly. And basically, you know what I can't. It's a possible. I can't get it what an answer is. I can't, I can't, I'm like, you're getting paragraphs in edgewise.

That's how you talk. So she's getting up pacing around. Carol's, you know, pacing around with her. Well, she's got like a walker on her voice. Her voice is pacing around at this point. It's like, I don't know what they're talking about. A little tennis balls on her voice. Yeah, exactly.

Then she's like, my voice isn't scratching your floor. It's horrendous. So he's like, those scratches were already there. I took pictures. And then it comes to Luann with this big long cigarette on a cigarette holder. And she's like, uh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. So, yeah, so now, again, once again,

they're talking about Adam, and Carol's like, you know, you said it was just, when you guys were talking, it was just a business thing, but you never told me about this whole situation or something like that. But he's like, yes, I did. Yes, I did.

And then Luann just goes, I don't give a shit about Adam. She goes, he is an operator. That's why he dated my niece. I'm like, oh, geez, that tea lasted long. Don't you remember your Chinese tea outfit? Did you waste it already? It's already wasted.

So she's like, he dated my niece and girl goes, Oh, do you want? Stop. No one cares what you think we win. And she goes, oh, really? Well, where did you meet him then? In my kitchen. That's right.

In my kitchen. Because of my niece. Don't forget it. He's an operator. Smooth operator. With watermelon radishes. How dare you? How dare you?

This is no. Ordinary radish So the music here is just completely on point Trixie Monaco is killing it So first Bethany's like, what? I didn't tell you about Houston and the music goes snap It's like snaps and then

Carol's like, I mean when Luan's like My kitchen, my kitchen The music goes Buhr Brer Like in Ferris Bueller You know the song Oh bough

And like I forget the band that did that. I want to say it's yes, but it's not yes. Trixie Monaco and the watermelon radishes. Come to Countess and Friends. I'll be singing my favorite song. Bow, bow, bow, yes. Chica-ch-c-ca.

So, Luan's like, he is an operator, and he jumped on Carol from my niece. And Tense is like, Luan, I mean, he was with Carol for three years. I don't know if that's an operator. And she goes, whatever time it takes, he's an operator. He's a little boy from the Midwest, okay? That's who he is. He's just a boy from the Midwest.

He's just a small town boy coming from the Midwest. He arrives in New York City to be an operator. Don't stop cabareing. Hold on to that feeling. All of that even rhymes, Luan. So Carol's Matt Luan. And Luan is still, now Luan's whispering to Sonia. He was my, he was with my knees for six months.

And so he's like, I know, Jesus. Not even a love seat. I would have believed it if it was true love, if it was on the love seat, but it was a couch. So then Bethany tries to take it back. She's like, all right, look, look. And with summer, we're busy, we're both busy. I'm busy being an international businesswoman selling multiple things.

You were busy doing whatever it is that you do. And Carol's like, yeah, we were busy. And I'm so proud of you, Carol. I'm so proud of you because I don't know. Would you walk a block? I'm so proud, Carol. What, would you get out of bed one day? Oh, Carol, wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, Carol, well, whoa, whoa, wow, whoa, wow, wow.

I'll put on a parade for you, Carol. I just want to remind everyone that Adam is a little boy from the Midwest. That's who he is. Did I say that already? Did I say that? So, Carol, is sick of listening to Luann, so she goes, well, I told you I ran the half marathon, and your only response is that Luan's a loser. You never even said congratulations on the half marathon.

I'm like, Carol, okay, you're really pushing it. Okay, like a half marathon, I'm sorry. Maybe you said, oh, cool, like, good job. But, like, that's a half marathon. Yeah. Actually, I mean, the half marathon is still more than I could do. So, yeah, I give you props, but like, let's... Whatever.

Shut up about your fucking marathon, okay? Yeah, so she says, you said Luan's a loser. And Luan goes, excuse me? What did you just say? Luan's a loser. Ha ha! Whoa! Luan's a loser!

A loser! So she's like now stirring her own loser stew over there. And Ramona's chiming in. I don't know if you noticed it because Luan goes, what did you say about me? What did you say about me? Ramona goes, you're a loser. She's like cracking up, Romona.

Yeah. She goes, well, if I'm a loser, the rest of the world sucks, okay? I'm a loser, really? Then it comes to her talking to us, and she's like, a loser. Do I look like a loser? I mean, really. If I'm a loser, God, I mean, right? Do I look like a loser to you?

I feel like I'm a winner in my very own rented penthouse. So, my best thing's like, you know what? I'm done about it. I'm done. I'm done about it. I'm done, about this, about this. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Let me just say your piece. Do you think you can just say your peace and then say, I'm done? She's like, you know what, Carol? Leave me alone about it, Carol. Leave me alone. She's like, oh, really?

So, so you're the victim here. Oh, so good. And then Durinda has like this moment where she sort of like, that has like a mini yell. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, bitches had the time to yeah. And then Luan's like, Durinda. And then she like gets up and is like, I'm going to sit in the chair with you. This is something that nod losers do.

Share chairs with people. I'm a giver. You see, don't tell me I don't do charity. Can't say charity without chair. This is so good because Durinda's like, I don't even know what she said either. I wrote down a bunch of letters. And then Luanne's like,

Durinda, don't try and make it okay all the time. That doesn't work. And she goes, yeah, it doesn't win. Look, I'm making it okay with you. And then they hug. And Durinda's like, look at those boobs. And then they, like, sit together and they start playing with each other's boobs.

fully drunk while this fight is going on and then romana comes from like a reading reading rainbow corner over there she's like listen friendships are about understanding each other and bethany only wants to understand her own point of view and it hurts because i know the bethny's hurt that makes me sad because i know she's hurting inside it hurts more than hurting outside because when you're hurting outside other people see it and they say you're hurt but when you're hurting on inside nobody sees it unless you're a woman with a career that bethany's not supporting then you see it and you're like your heart bitch it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial so bethany so now bethany is like getting really shrill you know because it's like this she's she's she's bethany is now so furious that carol said that bethany said that luan was a loser. She's furious that Carol is basically putting her on blast for that. She's like,

you think I would tolerate this conversation if you find that you in the way. She's like, her voice is getting this high thing. And she's like, I walk, you know, what's matter? Like, I walk out of every unpleasant conversation. Like, I'm tolerating you right now because I care about you. Huh? Hey, yeah. Like, how old are you? How old do you? I know you want to be 45, but don't X seven. Okay. So what? Yes. And Bethany's right on this one. Yeah, that was a good line. And that was a good line. And that was a dick move, Carol, like, fight your own battles. You don't need to bring everybody into it. And Lee's like, you know what's worse than Carol's saying, that I'm, that you said I'm a loser, the fact that you said it.

And she's like, look, look, look, I don't know that I said it. I don't know that I said it. But it's possible that I did, okay? It's possible. She goes, you think I care what you think about me? And she stands up and she gets on Bethany's face. Yeah. He goes, I hope not.

I hope not. I go, not for one second. And Bethany goes, oh, really? Do you care that you have lipstick on your face? And then I goes, oh, I do, actually. I do. It's like, see, you care what I think about you and I care what you think about me. And she goes, oh, I do care what.

I do care. All right. I do care. It's fun. And then, well, what was, all right, you got me. I care. What can I say? I'm a caring operator. Three, two, one, I care. Because I share. Is that a song? I made it up. So Bethany, also right before that, Bethany's like, Louanne, like, how many bad things have you said about me? Okay, you're like, you're piling out to the document for no reason. And Louan's like, I've never said a bad thing about you. Not one thing at all. Haircut. Is it, is it saying something bad if I report a crime? You stole a haircut. Just get mad at anybody. who walks into a police station, why don't you? I mean, why would I insult the person who popularized my very own cocktail recipe?

I'm glad I could help you by letting you steal my idea for a cocktail company. First to steal my cocktail, then my hair. I mean, what could I say that's bad about you? Because everything seems to be nothing but flattery. Oh, yeah, well, okay, everyone I have an announcement. I have said something negative about everyone at this table at some point in time. And Luann goes, all right, now who's going to die? We're still doing the murder mystery, right?

Where's Mr. Feathersby? So Carol... Those guys must have still been in the kitchen, like, what the fuck is going on out there? Right. Yeah. So, Carol, her old thing is like... Bethany can never admit

to doing something that's less than perfect. Which I actually think that's a valid point. I mean, Bethany will often talk about her flaws, but she talks about her flaws almost in a way that... To immunize herself from criticism, like, no, look, like, I know my flaws. I know my issues. Like, don't come at me.

Like, I already know them. But Carol's kind of right. Like, Bethany... Bethany has a hard time taking accountability when it comes to friendships, I think. The things that she does wrong in friendships. Yes. And then Carol has, Carol's always trying to relate to the people. So she's like, when you confront Bethany, she gets in the weeds.

I'm like, what is she a waiter now? Please don't put that image in my head at Bethany being of the weeds. Oh my God, I got so many tables. There's too much going on here. It's too much going on. Like skinny weeds. That's what I call them. You know what?

It's like you go to your garden and then I have got weeds, but they're skinnier than usual. Skinny weeds, huh? So Bethany is like, Bethany is like, this is a seismic rift, okay? You know what? Like, Carol, Carol said that, Carol said, saying that, like, I call you Luanna loser. Like, that's like, that's a Ramona move. That's like, that's a Ramona move. Okay, that's bad.

That's bad. So it's like, okay, this is bad now if she's comparing Carol to Ramona. Yes. And there are often separate corners complaining about each other. And so Carol's like, well, she wasn't supportive. She didn't donate a penny to my charity and I didn't say anything. Carol, it was a marathon, okay? If you want people to give you money, sell some Girl Scout cookies on your way.

you know what I mean? That's how to do a marathon. Yeah, exactly. And also, it's like, Bethany is literally chartering airplanes to go to Puerto Rico. I mean, it just came out today. I guess the White House said that this was the best FEMA response of all times to Puerto Rico. I think that's what I saw in the view, like, fleetingly today. So I'm sorry if I get that wrong. And like, I don't know why I'm bringing that up. I'm not trying to politicize this podcast. But the point is that Bethany was actually doing stuff. She was doing more than FEMA, I feel like. And so Carol's like, you, like, I ran a marathon. You know, it's like, okay, like, Carol, like, sorry if Bethany didn't, first of all, I think Bethany did donate to you. And second of all, sorry if she was preoccupied chartering airplanes to Puerto Rico. I don't know. To me, it was just, it was a petty moment. So Bethany's still freaking out and squealing, like, well, she says, I don't trust her. And now I don't trust her, because she said the thing. Why would I trust her?

And, like, she's doing her squeal thing where she's just in the manic, yeah. That's toothpaste. I kind of put toothpaste back in the table. And so she's squealing. And then Luanne goes, all right, now that's enough. listen here there is no loser here it's like let's concentrate on the fight someone called me a loser so she gets a big feather boa thing she's like oh chau bala no that's italian all right let's start again smooth operators she's just singing and bethany's like what happened to this house like i feel four feet tall right now like what the hell is happening she's like it's the berserkers bethany thank you that's what happens au la there we go french just like my former husband, Count Alexander DeSeps. So, um...

Fun, van, run, run, smooth operator, am I right, girls? Run away, run away, run away and save your life. That's by a band called The Real McCoy. So, um, Ramona, meanwhile, was in the hallway talking to Carol, and she's like, why feel bad? I felt your pain. I felt her pain. It was like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, no, Ramona, I don't know what you're saying. No one knows what you're saying. So Bethany is hearing her, and so she senses Bethany there. So she's like, look, all I want to say is, I love you both. Okay, I love you so much. And Bethany's like, oh, yeah, yeah, now you're on a stage. And it's not, you know, that's not what you were saying 10 minutes ago. We got it, Ramona.

You're on a stage. And she's like, listen, to be or not to be obsessed with health care. You know, I think you should be obsessed with your skin. Personally, Ramona's singa skincare. Shut up, Ramona. Yeah. Ramona loves this, you know. I'm not on a stage, okay?

but that being said, Memories, like the morning of Memories of Mario Memories. Where's the tire? I'm getting on the tire, and I'm floating up into the heavens to see Avery with her friends and the memories. Oh, for Christ's sake. Get off the tire, Ramona. It's not about you. So Ramona's following her up the stairs, and she's like, well, you know, I know you're friends with her, and you have a friendship with her, and then she has a friendship with you. and then, you know, other people have friendships with other people.

Bert and Ernie, they have friendship. Bert has a friendship with Ernie. Ernie has a friendship with Bert. You know, and if there's something wrong, guess who's going to feel bad? Me. That's what it affects. Consider the real people affected by this. Yeah, it's always sad to see a friendship on the rocks.

You know, I know you have friendship with her, and it's very upsetting to me. It's like, imagine if someone said, hey, Ramona, you and Avery, your sister friend, are no longer friends that'd be very upsetting because we're basically like, friends. I know my mother, but I'm basically her equal, because we look at the same. We go out to bars together. We get cocktails. We each get three cocktails. The first cocktail is a short one and a small glass with

one ice cube. The second one's a tall one with tequila and three ice cubes and some soda. And the third one has three limes around it and a little bit of ice and a little bit of water. Okay? Okay. Let's face it. It's time for commercial break. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But if we don't take one, it's going to be very day class set. hi um so then we get our south park segment of the season because every year now durenda's going to try and kill herself in some way it's like kenny you know from south park where he just kept dying like they would find a new way to kill kenny every episode so it's like every year they're going to try and find a new way to kill derinda last year she was stabbing herself with the knife not even knowing it this year she's like happy birthday well actually romona takes over the happy birthday which is probably one of the funniest things up happy birthday too yo okay God. It's like, okay, Roman. We hear you. So then Dorinda has this cake full of candles and just like stabs her face with it. Yeah. She's like, to try to make things funny. She like puts her head in the cake. As Danny Pellegrino said, Mrs. Doubtfire style. But the thing is that the candles were still lit. Like she just puts her face into fire. Yeah. She's like the Freddie Kruger now of the Berkshers. She's like, I'm going to stick my tongue out of your feet. phone. Hey, why don't she take us, why don't she go to sleep so we can talk together? And you know what's funny is that Luan, when Durinda does that, Luan goes, why did you do that? Why would you do that to yourself? Would you believe it, girls? She ruined the cake. She burned her face with cake candles. So then they just all start eating the cake off her face, which was both disturbing and wonderful. Yeah. Want to get a party started? Put cake on your face. Three, two, one, cake on your face. Cake on your face. We got the party started with cake on your face. So then Bethany's like,

Oh, you know what? Thank you, Durenda. Thank you for having us. All right, on the count of three, you made it nice. These people are crazy. Okay, we just went from the worst fight ever, too. You made it nice. Everyone's happy.

Yeah. So it's 9.20 in the morning. Oh, no, it's 9. And Lou and Sonia and the rest of them are just dancing downstairs, humping each other like crazy people. Just wasted. I know.

And then upstairs, Bethany is, for some reason, just fully naked, except for a little thong. And she's trying to get into the green Santa costume, kidding, it's the elf costume, I know. But she's trying to get into it, but like, she and Durinda are both drunk, and they're both trying to get into it. They're sort of like wrestling, and Durinda starts to talk. I forget what Durinda

said in her interview, but it was clearly what they call it pick up, you know, when they basically shoot an interview after the fact. And I don't know what's going on with her hair. I'm going to squarely blame, I believe Luke from Ladies of London is her new hair guy, but she looked like Dorothy's Borneck. It was

someone put Durinda in the old lady hair and I did not appreciate it. Well, it was probably a wig from burning all her hair off. Yeah, maybe that was what it was. So, yeah, they're giggling. And she's like, ah, yo, Santa. Oh, you're Santa, Bethany. And Bethany's like, ah, I didn't know she had on Christmas.

Okay? I mean, she has the hair of Mrs. Claus, and I've got the jaw of and elf. So it worked out. I'll just be here, what's the matter? I didn't know that Elves had specifically, like, jaws, like, like signature jaws. I thought Elves had fairly standard jaws, you know. Well, I think she's doing the elves from those claymation movies, which I've been talking about a lot this week for whatever. Those claymation Christmas movies, I'll have huge gyms.

I think she's probably, I think it's her way of saying, yeah, I know, I know, I got a jaw situation. Okay, I know, I know, okay, I know, I know. So now, so Bethany, so Carol and Durinda are sitting on a bed now, and they're, like, talking about the fight and everything. And then Bethany walks in, she's like, oh, my God, like, well, it's like a circle jerk of conversations. See that? I said, circle jerk. It's not funny? It's like circle jerk.

It's like penis. It's like, it's like, I got semen on my feet. but it's a conversation. It's a semen conversation. See what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to do this anymore, Carol. Because Carol is still talking to, Carol's on the bed now talking to Durinda. And she's like, well, you know, I think Bethany is looking at this through the lens of her own experience. Like narcissists do.

I'm like, excuse you, that is what human beings do. Yeah, God forbid you apply your own experience to something. Yes. And I love this show for making me go so far to the other side. already. It's like last week, I was like, screw Bethany. Carol's totally right. Out there, Bethany. And this week I'm like, shut up, Carol. Well, it's kind of funny. This episode ultimately winds up being very anti-Bethany. So it is, like, it's over even the course of the episode, I was a little bit more on Bethany's

side during this argument. Even though most of the audience, I think, was on Carol's side. I was more on Bethany's side. But then it's like, by the end of the episode, it's like, ah, but Bethany is, she is a hard person to get behind sometimes. So Carol's, so they, so Dorinda leaves them alone, and they sit down. He's like, I gotta go. You guys talk. I got Campbell so blake you, but you move. I got to apply some aloe to my face.

So Carol's like, all right, I've said my piece. You've said your piece. And Beth, he's like, I never said my piece. I never said my piece. Well, you know, it's an expression. No, I literally never said the word, words, my piece. Okay, my piece. Okay, now I said my piece.

It's like, I've heard the expression, Carol. So Carol's like, well, the thing is he didn't tell me you said he is since. Like, oh my God, you must be missing a text. or an email or something. And Carol goes, No, I'm not. I'm like, you wouldn't know if you're missing it. If, like, don't say you're not.

Because if you're missing it, you don't know that you're missing it. That's the whole point of a missing text or email. Yeah. And Bethany goes, oh, so you think I just called you out of the blue and said Adam sucks? And earlier in the episode, Carol was like, possible. Earlier in the episode, Carol was telling us. She goes, but one day, Bethany called me out of the blue and said Adam sucks. I'm like, Bethany, you do later on call Ramon out of the blue.

and tell her that she sucks. So it's not like totally unprecedented for you, like, you know what, Adam sucks? And actually, even earlier friends call you, they call you out of the blue. Like, is there a certain time that they're supposed to call you? Of course you called out of the blue to say Adam sucks. And I actually, by the way, in Bethany's favor, what I liked about her in this argument a little bit earlier in the episode when they're still at the table, is that I feel like Bethany can walk back or walk through what she said in her motivations very clearly, which is what sort of gives her an edge a little bit in my book. She's like, so here's basically what happened.

You know, Adam, you know, he asked for a rate. No one else asked me for a rate. And so I called you up. And I was like, can we be done with Adam already? Like, this is ridiculous because she probably was calling to be, because Carol and Adam were sort of like on the outs a little bit. And Bethany called and thought she was sort of like paling around, you know? Like I think that was what was implied. Like, let's just like have like a bitch sash, uh-huh, about about Adam, you know?

And then she's like, and then I realized that I pushed too many buttons. and it wasn't really like working so I like dialed it back so she basically said at the table I kind of miscalculated like our Adam bitch sash you know and like and I thought that was a very honest you know an honest explanation of at least from her we don't know if it's honest you know that's the thing because she keeps changing the things well I mean I'm saying I mean she keeps changing her story but it felt because she was able to explain it clearly and cogently that's why it felt more honest to me. Well, at least it explains it to me because I don't know even what Carol's mad at now. Because now I'm like, well, okay, so if Bethany called you and told you about all this

stuff and said that Adam wanted to be paid and all this stuff and he's an ass and he's an operator and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then why are you mad about that now? Are you literally just mad that something was said about Houston and you didn't know about Houston? Are you saying, why is Bethany mad or why is Carol mad? Because now Carol's just bringing up Houston. If you already knew all this other stuff, I thought she was mad because she just heard that Bethany was calling Adam, you know, an operator and all this stuff. But if she already knew that, I'm confused. No, I think this is why Carol was mad, because she knows that there's been like a weird vibe with Bethany. And then she finds out the night before, thanks to basically

Ramona and Durinda, that Bethany was talking about this situation, about the operator situation. So in Carol's mind, she thinks Bethany is going around talking shit about Adam and calling him an operator all around town. So that's got her mad. Like, why the fuck are you doing that? Like, that's so obnoxious in her mind. When really, as far as we can tell, this moment happened about the operator moment. Bethany called Carol. I was like, he's an operator. And she's like, well, I know everyone's an operator in business. You are most of all the operator. And then, and then Bethany told Durinda, yeah, you know what? Adam did this thing. And I was like, I told Carol, I kind of think he's an operator. So in Carol's mind, she thinks, she's mad because she

she thinks that Bethany is just like the reason why there's distance is because Bethany has been so pissed about the Adam situation and has been talking to everyone about it except for Carol. Does that make sense? I got lost in my own talk. Yeah. I mean, it mushes my brain. So I think it's doing the same thing to Carol

because Carol's just at the point where she's like, look, I don't want to fight with you. And Bethany's like, well, Carol, it's just like you seem like you're so into yourself right now. Like you're into yourself and your fashion and your hair intensely and selfies. And of course, she dropped Tinsley in there, which is basically the problem. And Carol goes, selfies, you're like

the queen of selfies. You're all over Instagram. She goes, that's distorted what you're saying. You're saying, I like my hair. So you're distorting it and saying, I like my hair. I'm like, you two are making me fucking crazy with this, okay? Yeah. Be quiet. The both of you just be quiet. But the thing is that, like, you know, Bethany was being hypocritical, because she is also about

about selfies. But, you know, to say that someone is now all of a sudden about selfies, it doesn't mean that, like, you personally can't be about selfies. Like, if you're the accuser, it just means that, you know, you never were about this before. Now, suddenly you're about it. Like, I've always been about it, so I have no problem with it, but you never were about it. And now suddenly you're about it in a way that's sort of, like, sad. And the truth is that what Bethany is saying is what we've been saying for the past few years, you know, Carol's sitting on that counter at the camera shop, being a cool girl, you know, like this has been Carol's fatal flaw, is this trying to be kind of like

young and hip all this time. And then, of course, that opens up this whole other can of I'm not going to go into it. It's like, why can't a woman do that? You know, but like, I'm not going to bother with that. But the point is Bethany's basically saying what we've been saying. Yeah, except that it's not sudden. Bethany just needs, Bethany will pick out anything. And then she just buries the Tinsley in there. You know, I think it really is about Tinsley, right? Because it's not just that Karen's trying to be young. Because she's always what I'm saying. She's what I'm saying she just drops Tinsley and like all of these other complaints that have no validity. She's basically saying you think that like you and Tinsley are like two, you know, 41 gal. Gals. 41-year-old gals, like gallivanting across the city, and you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, it's basically what Bethany's saying. Yeah, so then they cut to downstairs, the ladies are now humping each other. Yeah, it's, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a rat king happening down on the couch. Yeah. So then back. upstairs, Bethany's like, look, everyone has their own stuff. Like, you had to break up. And then I had to go away too deep with this charity. I just got in too deep. It's like they want too much. I'm in too deep. I'm in too deep. What is the charity doing? I know. Like, who did they abduct for you to get to get the plane? Like, all right, Bethany,

we've been abducted a duck cracker that you want. And we're not giving it back to you until you have to try to rest two planes. Yeah. And Carol's like, honey, I got it. Which, of course, she says all the time. I'm just pointing that out. She's like, don't call me honey. Yeah, come me honey. So she's like, that got to a 10. It didn't need to. She goes, all right, let's bring it to a 7. Well, it's a 7 now. It's a 7 now. So we can't bring it to a 7. All right I 10. Well, I want a 0. I want a 0. How about that?

It's like, oh my God. You're even arguing about you know what I want? You know what I want 0 divide by 1? Because you know what that is? It's an I. Okay. I want I. I want I'm on I right now. Imagine her numbers. It's like, well, you know, now I mean these PJs, because Dorin's in the other PJs, she's like, oh, you have other PJs, too? And she goes, yeah, they're at Durinda's vagina right now. Like, they're so far up her vagina. It's like, she's going to give birth to a baby, like, Velvet Santa Claus suit. Doreinda did mention having Cameltoe a few times this episode.

She was like, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys in Cameltoe, my Santa Claus. So, now, all of a sudden, we're just the next morning. It's just, it's like, after all that, they're like, okay, let's bring it down to it, too. Okay, next morning. So now it's the next morning, and we are in the blue fish room where Luann's, like, in bed with Sonia. And Bethany is in the other bed. And I was like, was this the sleeping arrangement? And it wasn't.

And it was kind of funny because Bethany just sort of like startles awake. And I feel like that's how she wakes up every morning. Like, what's going on? What's about it? What's about it? What's going? Water. Water.

And she's like, jerked away. And she goes, oh, my God. Oh my God. It's like being woken up by Darth Vader. I'm going to run in the death star. Okay. Oh, my God. I mean, I'm in a house face.

Okay, I didn't do any training. Okay, oh, my God. So funny. Oh, my God, what are we doing? Is Betty Ford open? Like, what's wrong with us? What's on those fish up there? Why's there fish on the wall?

It's like a bad lesbian pornoplick with fish. It's like a bad lesbian fish porno flick. I'm like, okay, I know you're going for a joke here, Bethany, but like, you know, it's like three women sleeping benignly in beds. It's like women fully clothed under the covers. It cracks me up the alarm. Water. Oh, my God.

It's like Darth Vader. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a quackin. It's Luan. By the way, the Beddy Ford reference, also great foreshadowing. Oh, yeah.

She's like, promises. Anyone want to make some promises? Derinda comes to the door and she's like, Hello, it's me, Sarinda. Just reminding you there's a coffee station shows this. And if you want some coffee, you can get it yourself because it's not a goddamn ham to me. All right, so if you want your goddamn dump. And then Luann just opens the door and drags her in.

He's coming to the Crackin Room. Guys, still I have a horrible camel to last name. It was awful. But at least you weren't called a loser. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So then, down in the kitchen, Luan's in this huge blue fur, which is this fucking show. So they're all eating it during just like, we have tough bitches.

made it through that. So Sonia comes up. She's like, hi, Duranda, it's me, Sonia Morgan from State Farm Insurance. I was thinking we should have a talk. Yeah. I just wanted to show you these photos of all of the issues in the room that we stayed in so that you can't blame them on me later. It was

she's like, all right, here there's a Nick on the floor that pre-existed us. Here's another one. It looks like it's Luann's button impersonation button impression in the wall. It's not. It was there before. Here's the swordfish. We didn't bring the swordfish in that was on the wall also. Ramona is dating the swordfish, but she didn't rip it off the wall. So I just wanted proof.

So they basically all... Swordfish. They basically all leave. Like it's time to go. Well, they're all, they're all packing up and all of a sudden we see Bethany go up to Carol. I'll be like, all right, I love you. I'll talk to you later. Okay, let's just spy the shit out. Okay, I love you. I'm like, wait, what? Did this get a result? Did I miss something? Yeah. Well, I mean, as much as they do, they said they wouldn't stop fighting. I don't know if it left on a 10 or a two or a zero. I don't think they ever agreed on that. But yeah, they agreed to stop fighting. hiding. But of course, this is housewives. And now Carol's got a bone. And Carol will not let go of that bone. No. Okay. And Bethany is the same way. But Bethany will come out at Shadier. Carol's just, every scene from now on, Carol's going to be like, Marathon, Bethany. Marathon, Bethany. It's a great time to bring back Aviva. That's what I got to say. So, Ms. Rider Girl. So they're gone, right? Did you want to say anything else before they leave? I did not. Because in my mind, it's over. In my mind, we're shutting the door to the Berkshire.

2018 which is which is a shame yes uh and then she's all impressed with sonya and she's like oh look at sonya i have the list of things to do look congratulations you didn't rip things off the wall this year isn't that what house guests do so now we now we go back down to new york city and we get to see uh we we actually don't even see pops of what everyone's doing we just see sonia at home she has that like rust that dog that rust color dog that she sort throws on the bed and a contractor arrives this is a guy named leo and basically he's there to fix things in in the townhouse. That way she can rent it out.

She's like, you gotta spend money in order to make money. I'm like, why are you yelling? Why are you yelling? Yeah, she's in community theater mode in the scene. She's like, it's me, it's Sonia, where she's always facing the cameras

and like shaking her head really big. So she's showing him the stuff that needs to get done. She's like, oh, and I also forgot to tell you I had sex on the sink in the bathroom downstairs, like in 2008, but you know it separated the sink from the wall

and then there was also the towel rack because, you know, you got to hold onto the towel rack while your butts going on in the sink, you know how it is, but I was able to glue the towel rack on myself. You know, I just use some leftover jizz. It hardens up just like a great, crazy glue. The guy's like, knowing that my bathroom is kept together

by a bunch of could have been babies. I mean, let me tell you, it's just changing everything. You know how hedge fund guys are, right? Hey, if you see pencils in the walls, could just let her free things. Meanwhile, we have Bethany at her place, and she's trying to start a fire in her fireplace. She's like, come on, you got to be kidding me right now.

Like, what's this is not going to work? I was like, you need to take some lessons from Luann. That one knows how to start a fire Yeah, and this is We didn't start the fire Just kidding, I did, I started the fire I almost burned down the entire house The Berkshires

Bethany didn't start the fire She was always burning Because her world was turning In skinny girl Headline headline Another another headline headline headline Lewans going to jail Oh, that's the future

That's her version That's her version of We didn't start the fire He said Sonia Tinsley's in a fight with Sonia Ramona's Mario left her And Tom and Luan got divorced We didn't start the fire

You know those hedge fund guys Right So Bethany's Yeah Having a party at her house now For Christmas And it's my annual Christmas Friday

Like nothing says more About Christmas than sushi Am I right guys? Am I right? Fire and sushi Yeah you know They tried to elevate Bethany's holiday party

to an annual tradition, but I'm sorry, it is, it's not. I mean, even though she's had them every single year, they are not iconic. First of all, they're always like during the day, which feels a little, like, not as fun. And it's always like, they sit around her couch while, like, the servants just stare, they eat sushi, and then everyone leaves. You can tell it's like a 90-minute occasion, and no one really wants to be there. Yeah. And this is a situation you don't want an open kitchen, you know? It's like, the help is just like, oh, good. So, uh, Sonya shows, the girl starts showing up and Bethany's being super nice to everybody because she's just

had a public fight with one of them so she's like Uber nice to everybody which I love when she does this and doesn't realize that she's like suddenly oh I'm nice Bethany now oh my god look at Sonia look Sonia you look like a model right now like you're really feeling yourself and then Sonny goes well you know I had to use a washcloth

because my house is just all wrapped up so basically I gave myself a horseback any anyone want to smell me I mean I need to move out but I don't have a place can I stay with you Tensley Yeah, which that'll be an interesting twist, or that was an interesting twist. By the way, did you notice, Bethany was wearing, like, this big golden sequined top with skinny jeans, which I'm just going to suspect, I'm going to surmise that those were skinny girls skinny jeans, right? Like, those had to be, because it was such a...

Well, did they have, like, the bedazzled shit on the signs? I couldn't tell, but it just, it felt like such a strange outfit because it was, the top did not match. Those are not two things that you wear together. It seemed like very strange. So I was like, the only reason why she'd have this strange outfit on is if she wants to be wearing her skinny girl jeans on TV, which I think is important. My theory. Oh, for the upcoming. For the upcoming, skinny girl, whoa.

Yeah. So everyone starts arriving and people showing up. And then the way it arrives and like no one notices, she goes, well, don't anybody get up. Just a loser has walked in. a loser with her own cabaret show just a loser one two three four i'm a loser a loser i own it that's called owning it when you're a cowardice of friends i'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me um yeah so she comes in and uh luan is oh yeah she's like talking about her red cross i'm like why am i talking so much about She basically, I'm giving to the Red Cross because things happen and people need blood.

So I figure, why not get all of my blood-sucking vampire old lady friends together and give a little? And I was like, this is not going to work out. Who in this group could possibly even be eligible to give blood? I know. They're not going to take this blood from any of these ladies. And they don't. No, they most certainly do not. She's like, what better way to give for the holidays than give the gift of blood?

I was like, there's got to be a better way to say that. I mean, they won't let us hand out bottles of sky, so this is the next best thing. So Carol arrives, and she and Bethany are sort of pretending to still be friends. They're sort of having a, you know, the, you know, fake pleasantry. It's like, oh, how are you doing? Oh, sushi, that's nice. Oh, you look good. Yeah, you look good, too.

Yeah, that's nice. Okay, yeah, happy holidays. Yeah, yeah. How's that operator boyfriend? It feels, huh? Good. Okay, good. Yeah.

And so now they're going to play the White Elephant Party, which is, we all know how to play. Yeah. So Ramona, it gets to Ramona, and she gets like a facelift and a boxing, which, by the way, if you want a facelift in a box, go to Leahblack.com and get wine. It'll keep you young forever. So she gets one of those, and she's like, oh, it's an anti-aging fusion. You know what? This reminds me, I have an anti-aging serum.

And so I'm testing other products. So it's really good that I get this. So I could test it against my own product, which is coming out soon. America. Yeah. And then Luan gets something. She's like, what is this? Like, oh, it's some sort of like beauty cleaning. Something she's like, oh, I got cleaner. Me? What? Am I some sort of loser who just has to sit at home and clean? Well, let me tell you something. There's a, I know a lady who once stayed at home and cleaned while everyone went out and had a good time. And her name was Cinderella. Would you believe it, girls? I'm Cinda fucking Rella. And then,

Bobby-Bob-de-boom, boys. Bip-de-pob-de-boom. Boys, again, bib-de-bob-de-boom. My pumpkin's here. Bye. Did you notice that, by the way, no-one stole gifts? It was, like, the White Elephant Party and no-unstall a gift. I thought the way White Elephant works is that you open a gift,

and then you decide if you're going to keep it or steal someone else's, not you make the choice before you open the gift, right? Yeah, they explained it, right. They just didn't play it right. They just cast gets bored. I mean, look at their murder mystery. It's like, I get it. All right.

Yeah, they definitely don't get games. So, anyway, so they all open up their gifts and everything. And then all of a sudden it's like, ding-dong, special delivery. And guess what? Derinda's decorator guy, the guy who, like, did all her Christmas decorations. He comes in with a huge nutcracker that Bethany had requested from FAA Schwartz for Brin. So there was like, oh, my God. Everybody's like, oh, my God.

Everyone's like, ah, you know. So Bethany just starts screeching at this point. She's just like, oh, my God, what's it in it? What's a man? What's a man? What's a man? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm like, am I the best mom in the world of what? Am I best one in the world? I get the best guest. I get the best kiss. Ah, it's that fair, Schwartz. It's that fair, Schwartz. It's that fairer, Schwartz.

We get it. Congratulations. You got a big wooden man for your daughter. Nothing's going to terrify her every night. Yeah, she's like, listen, you know what I got to do? I got to say thank you to the gods who arranged for this to happen. Wow. I'd like to say thank you to the giant car.

It must have taken to get this thing over here. Thank you, Carr. I got to thank Mr. Schwartz. I got to thank the letters F-A-N-O for making such a great nutcracker. Thank you. I got to thank Tom Hanks for repopularizing F-A-O-S-Worts with his movie Big. I got to thank Hillary Swank's ex-husband, Chadlow, because she never thanked him at the Oscars,

and I want to make sure no one ever gets forgotten about when someone's talking people, okay? I'd like to thank Nuts, because without Nuts, we wouldn't eat a nutcracker. Okay. Hey, you know what I want to do? I want to thank the Sugar Plum Ferry, because you know what? There are a lot of fairies out there, but Sugar Plum Ferry, like, no one is that? What is that? What is that?

What, your plum, your sugar? Like, what is that? I don't know what you are, but thank you. I'd like to thank gun bands and gun restrictions because you can no longer use guns to shoot open your nuts. So thank you. You know what I want to think? I want to think those old men who keep it going.

You know what? Because this, this knack, I look at him. He's got to be like 75, you know? But he's still working. He's working hard. Thank you. So Thirinda's like, well, you know, I'm not one to look for a lot of thank you for working missions.

But maybe this little bit. Maybe just mention my name. I mean, Bethany did say, she turned to Dorenda goes, you know, you save Christmas, you save Christmas, which is sort of like saying thank you. I mean, I feel like it was the sentiment of thank you, but she definitely, but she did not say thank, or she didn't say to everyone. I feel like it was fine. I feel like, what are these people like? I mean, yeah, I think that maybe, maybe it would have been nicer if she said, oh my God, everyone, I was looking for this nutcracker and I say, can you find it? And Dorenda actually did it.

Derinda found it, but instead she's just like, you saved Christmas. oh my god oh my god am i not the best mom i'm not the best well i think it goes yeah i think i always get the best kids i always think it goes above just not saying thank you into like screaming i did it yeah that was where it was a problem because it looked like she was taking credit or you know i just you i'm the best i'm the best i'm the best she could have been a little more thankful to dorinda that's for sure and then she takes a photo with his nutcracker and carol's like look at her take a selfie with a nutcracker oh the irony of not saying thank you properly after she screamed to dance leave for not saying thank you properly to sonya well looks like

bethany really won this one she's a real winner as opposed to me i guess i'm just a loser and then what did romona say she's like something about like well i'll tell you thank you for your gift because i'm going to keep you she goes so romona gives her gift to louan because romana obviously does not like her gift she's like well since you got some household cleaner You just got some wind decks that's in a nice bow, and I feel bad for you, Luan. And since I'm going to give you my gift, because since I'm doing my own anti-aging loin, I don't really need this. I can give this to you instead.

And that's when Bethany's like, oh, okay, so she got to give herself an infomercial. That's what's going on. Like, she's like, she can't just say thank you. Okay, she can't be great. She got to give herself a run infomercial. Anyway, let me sit down in my skinny girl chair, okay? Yeah. And Dorenda's like, she just mentions an infomercial.

You know, why, why can she just support the facelift and a thing? We support skinny people And then Ramona goes Ramona had like So many little gems this episode Where she just was making these like Proclamation she goes Friends support friends

Even if you're not my friend Just say hey Good going girl I'm proud of you Big Ups You're such a good friend Friends and Friends forever That's what friends are for

Keep trying Keep smiling keep trying What are you trying to rap now All right you can do Canada and friends. The rap MC from the DCC it's Ramona sing. Keep trying.

I don't even remember the lyrics that song. Keep smiling. Keep being friends. That's what friends are for for being friends. For sure. Dionne Warwick is a singer. In good times and bad times. I am, I guess, just a loser. I guess, according to Bethany. The rest of the world is fucked.

au revoir is french so then um tinsley and loo start talking about they're all leaving so carol and dorinda and who else is leaving carol jerrinda like a few of them leave well well they haven't left yet because basically they're sitting around it's like oh so what the plans for the holidays and lewins like well let me go to palm beach uh because my brother's in jupiter i guess you could say um going out of this world would you like to swing on a star Anyone? Guess where that star is swinging me? I'm flying into West Palm Beach, Tinsley, just so you know, instead of just Palm Beach. And Sony goes, isn't Tom gonna be there? Yeah. And she's like, well, I don't know. How would I know?

Why do you ask? And she's like, I thought you were avoiding Tom, Luan. And by the way, Trixie Monocle again, because when Luan goes, I'm going, I'm going to Palm Beach, there was this ominous bass line with bassist's like, boom, boom, boom. Because, you know, ominous on real, like, on any other show, ominous is like, Bum. But on this show, it's like, bum, bum, bum, instead of bum, bum, bum, it's like, bum, bum. It's like, whoa, bow, bow, bow. So, yeah, so Sonia's like, isn't Tom gonna be down there?

Wow, she's really going back to the scene of the crime. I was like, in more ways than one. And Bethany's saying, oh, you moved on so great girlfriend. Like, you've done so good. I'm so proudy how you've been moving on with that marathon and everything. Like, look at you, marathon moving on. You're moving on like a marathon man. It's great.

You know, and I heard he has that busted up. girlfriend now, you know? I mean, that's what Carol told me. Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't know that? Oh, I'm so sorry. What a dick. What a dick. Oh, yeah, because it was... What a dick I am. It was Carol who left who left. Yeah. Yeah. So, but anyway, so Bethany is like, yeah, and he had some bust up girlfriend. You knew that, right? You didn't know that, like, I don't want to talk about it. I mean, why would I talk about it? I'm just some low-rent loser, I guess, who doesn't, left behind, doesn't have a new boyfriend. But did you like how Bethany did the exact same thing she just got mad Carol for. It's like, oh, whips, just

mention that Carol's the one who told me she was to bust it up low down dirty piece of crap. Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. So Luann's like, well, Tom should be under a rock. He knows all the girls know him. I mean, like, really, dude. Lay low. Dick. So, now we go on to

Luan's blood drive, which is... Oh, wait, there's one quick thing. There's one quick thing. Okay. So, Luan's like, well, I'm not upset at all. I'm leaving. And then Carol's like, me too. And Durinda. So they leave. And then Bethany's like, Guys, Carol, Carol, right? She seems sad.

What's drunk with Carol? I think it's because of Adam. It's like, oh, my God, how out of touch are you? Yeah. She seems like she was at it too, which is weird because she doesn't even like me going to do it too. Yeah, it's almost like she's like fighting with someone who's like really close with her. She seems like really sad about it.

It's probably about Adam. But actually, I mean, I don't, there probably is something true about that too. I mean, you know, this Carol and Adam situation has sort of fallen apart. and Carol probably does feel lonely but it is weird but Bethany it's like she's also fighting with you which is probably why she left early that's probably why she wasn't talking about

Yeah she's being distant yeah she's being distant you dope Ramona's like I think because we went out the night before we went to the Berkshires me and Carol just alone like we went out like that was really fun with me and Carol and then we went to the Berkshires and you know that was you know

she sat for the Berkshire still I don't know if you remembered but yeah yeah Durinda and her face was it Durinda in her face no you know things from the Birchers. Remember in the Berkshers? I don't know. Was it the dead guy? The guy who died? You know, the Berkshire's that thing. When you did something to hurt. Berkshire. I don't know. That's Adam. It's out of. I'm just imagining Luann just like opens the door again.

I mean, Bethany, she's mad at you. It's like, really, dude. Dick. Door closes again. It just opens up. I'm going to kill you all. All right. I'm really leaving now. I'm really leaving. That's the way a loser leaves the party. And typical Ramona Well there's no champagne So I guess this is goodbye

It's like it's right there There's champagne right there Romona Oh okay I'll stay Where should I sit Yeah let's toast I don't know I didn't write down any notes about that scene That was like a significant moment I think I was too engrossed

I was caught up I was looking for my own champagne I'm like do I get to toast too Okay Because how can you write notes When we're doing something important For the Red Cross Yeah so now we go over to Luanne's blood drive

with the Red Cross, and the irony of irony, as you already predicted, is that Luann was rejected from blood-giving, as were all of them, because they went to Mexico in the past year, and probably like a Zika situation, right? So they weren't allowed to give blood. So she has a blood drive, and no one's allowed to give blood. And she goes, I was turned away. I mean, I felt like such a loser. I love that it's just a running theme in this episode, like what a loser Luan may or may not be. She has embraced her role. I felt like, so bad. I mean, what a loser.

Like a dick. So, um, so they're there. Oh, what's the matter? We told you this because of Mexico. No, it's what's the matter coming towards us, like a bull. Yeah, because here comes what's a matter. Um, and she's like, hi, it's Megan from Bethany's office. And then I was like, how are you?

You are younger than me in life. You have a lower station in life. So therefore I'll be formal with you and go, how are you? Thank you. How are you? Yes, I will take sparkling water. you and it says and megan's official title bethany's brand manager as she's sitting here doing yet another errand for bethany great brand managing you know so she's like uh will you do me a favor will

you tell somebody i told bethany you look amazing all right now give me an intro to this red cross bitch because i got bethany's stuff to do so she's like hey red cross bitch uh bethny can't be here to give blood and who would take it anyway so here's a thousand dollars in cash cards and we'd really appreciate it if you distributed that directly to those of affected. Excuse you. That is not how the Red Cross works, madame. Yeah. And also, like, way to, like, I mean, the woman from the Red Cross was very appreciative, like, that is so wonderful of her. But, you know, inside she was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do these cash cards, you know? Yeah. Thank God. It's so close to Christmas, honey. That was so heartfelt. Yeah. I will be shopping with these.

So, um, Carol shows up and she's like, I can't donate my blood because I'm under the weight limit. I'm like, well, A, that was like a little bit of a backdoor brag, but also, uh, you were in Mexico, so. I brought cookies. And Sony goes, oh, really, Carol? Well, tell us, Carol, how are you? How are you, Carol? Are you sad? Because Bethany was saying you're sad.

Are you sad? She just gets right to it. Oh, you poor thing. Let me stroke. Oh, your hair's falling out because you're so under the weight limit for a blot. Are you sad about that, too? Oh, did you not have good time? Sad. I guess I'm sad, but I'm not like boo-hoo sad, but I guess I am if everyone's saying it.

And she goes, well, they said, Adam, that you're sad, and that you're also sad in general, and that your cookies are sad. I mean, they haven't said that yet, but they will. So, like, why wait for another episode? And just remember, denial ain't just a river that I have a yacht going down, okay? I had sex with a hedge fund guy on that yacht years ago. So if you need to glue it back together a little bit, call Leo. He's great. I love the Nile. He's a great psychiatrist. um so yeah sonia is fucking with her now these ladies do not waste any time but luann is sorry oh no go ahead well i was gonna say that luan also is stirring the pot because she goes up to darinda's like

so what happened what what is this whole nutcracker situation like why didn't bethany thank you drinda's like darinda's the one who got the nutcracker she was oh i had no idea i mean you didn't say anything about it so uh naturally i gave to that young man, that young hot Santa man. Young gifts that you brought for me. I'm like, well, who did you? Why would Dorinda's assistant be bringing it? Yeah.

Come on. Yeah, exactly. So now Ramona's talking to Carol about the stuff that Bethany said, about Carol being sad. And Carol, you know, Carol's like, well, I think it's pretty obvious that Bethany's really talking about herself. She's talking about herself. I think she has a hard time painting and maintaining friendships.

It's a painting? Did I say, I write down painting, have time, whatever. Basically, Carol says that Bethany has a hard time creating and maintaining friendships, which is true too,

and that's what we've always said Bethany's biggest problem is she cannot be in a friendship. Yeah, and Dorinda's like, I was disappointed. I achieved something. I achieved something Bethany couldn't. Do you know how hard that is

to achieve something to Bethany couldn't? I mean, it would be nice to get a shout out, is all I'm saying. That's all I mind. I just wanted to call up Z-100 and be like, this is a shout-out to Durinda for getting a nutcracker, and now I'd like to request this song by Zed.

Just put a fucking Durinda wig on that nutcracker, and let's all be done with it. So ridiculous. The way her hair is going, it's not that far from it. I'm telling you, Luke, get that hair in shape, all right? So Carol, you know, Carol actually has a good point, too, which is like, well, basically, if Bethany was so concerned that I was sad, it would have meant a lot more if she pulled me aside.

I was like, how are you doing, you know? Although, now I'm going to contradict myself, you know, sometimes, like, if you're in a social situation, you see that someone looks sad, after the fact that you go, you know, I think that person looks sad, and then you maybe reach out to them. But, like, I don't know. I don't think that what Bethany said is the worst thing in the world. No, I think, Carol, come on, Carol, you were being distant. You left, and she was basically, like, why is Carol being distant? I mean, why is this, like, then don't be distant then. I mean, come on.

Like, you can't say, oh, I forgive. And then she's like, why, I don't forgive yet. It's like, oh, geez. So then we skip over. Yeah. I was going to say her revenge is to now wind up Ramona about Bethany. Is that what you were going to say? Yeah, she's like, so Ramona, what did Bethany say about me?

She says, well, she said, Carol is lonely. So sad without Adam being lonely. She's so lonely. She looks lonely. She smells lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely. Facial, lonely, face lift in a box, lonely. That's what you look like. Lonely.

Romano just kept saying lonely Lonely Teardrops, okay? So Carol's Now starts winding up Ramona You mentioned skin care And she said You were trying to do an infomercial

That must not have made you feel great And Trent is like guys Where else are you allowed to speak to people Like that the way she talks to us Where else? Why are we letting someone talk like Let's talk like that? Get that goddamn blood track

And Ramona realizes that she suddenly has a horse in this whole race and she goes, yeah, it was hurtful. It was hurtful. I'm like, okay, Ramona is suddenly the delicate flower, you know, who can't take like a simple joke about the infomercial. Yeah, hypocritical for sure, but like it wasn't really that hurtful. So then Ramona goes, Bethany claimed to be a big supporter of women, but doesn't support. Start at home with other women? She's not supporting any of us, okay? Let's face it. She doesn't support anyone. Reminds this one. One Tom, and I was a little girl, and I was having dinner, and I was like, could you please pass the bread? And Jeldean, Parsons Smith said, no, no more bread for you. You were a fat little girl. And I said, whoa, but doesn't support start at home? And she said, no, support starts with your bra. Okay? And to this day, I've never had bread, okay?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know bread rolls. So we leave these crazies, and then we go, oh, no. So now Sonia and Ramona are walking around together, just defending everybody giving blood, basically. yeah they're just like walking these people are like feeling woozy they're about to pass out

and like and meanwhile Ramona and so on you're walking around being like let's go check our iron you know if you have too much iron and get constipid well you know what

I actually would like to be constipated a little bit oh really well you know I just I want my poops to be a little firmer I want them to have I want them to be more

al dente you know not that I eat them but I just want them have a good firm tactile feel about it's a little too loose oh that means you don't have any iron

I have no iron I need more iron right okay right now I have duck poop said, I have duck poops. And then they just passed this lady who's, like, horrified by the whole thing. Could you imagine if they could give blood?

Could you imagine having, like, Dorinda's blood coursing through your body? That's a really, really intense feeling. Or, like, Luann. Suddenly just start stabbing yourself. Like, what is happening to me? I just lit my face on fire. So now a small, but, like, epic, iconic scene. I think this scene will go down with, like, the Brooklyn Bridge scene

because we suddenly see Ramona walking her dog on the sidewalks of New York and she's walking around and the phone rings and it's Bethany. And Bethany calls up and she's she's upset, she's agitated and she starts, we can tell she's like winding up to go in on Ramona and she's like, you know what?

And I'm many girlfriends and the few girlfriends that I have and I la-na-da-la-la-la-la-la-la. And then Ramona's basically like she basically starts talking about. What's your point? What's your point, Bethany? What's your point? Like, she's already starting to get mad because she can tell that she's about to get yelled at. Exactly. So Bethany's like, you didn't even let me get to my point.

You didn't even let me get to my point. I'm going to tell you my point. You'll just let me get there. Like, can we get this down to a seven or like a two or like a zero? A zero would be great. Bethany really has to work on that. It is really irritating that, like she does get hung up on these. Like, you know, let me talk.

She did that with Ramona back in the Berkshires last year, too, when they were starting to have their talk. And she's like, nah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So basically Bethany said, you know, Sonia told me that you guys were all talking about me at the Red Cross event. you know. And so then she says, so I do have good friends. And Carol is actually one of them. And I feel like, do this group. You have your different moments with each person. And like, you've definitely done like emotional damage. And Ramon's like, you know what? You sound very negative and I'm in a great place. Okay. And Bethany's like, well, you know what? You enjoy, you're enjoying my argument and Carol. That's what you like? You like it a lot. And Ramon's like, I don't enjoy any arguments.

What are you talking about? I hate arguments. That whenever you see me smiling when you guys are arguing, that's because I'm thinking about a happier time when you guys, weren't arguing. I'm not enjoying myself at all. I'm actually the saddest when I'm smiling during your arguments, okay? Meanwhile, the dog is standing just in the street. In the street. Ramona's standing in the corner, just like completely not paying attention. And, you know, I cannot believe that this dog did not get just completely splatted all over the street because it's just standing in the street. Like, who does that? It's like, you know what? I don't even care about you with the ship Carol, okay? Like, what are you calling me about this? Like, why are you blaming me? I don't even care.

I don't even care. You only care about? Like, dog, make you a little peepy. Okay? That's all I care about. Make a little peepy. Like, how many times do I have to tell? Just make a little peepy.

And I have poops. Yeah. You pray out the week. Like, what is wrong with? Do you pray out the week? I'm like, oh, yeah, you're so fucking weak, Bethany. Yeah. And also, having these moments with everybody.

And also, F you for having me take Ramona side. Yeah, I don't know that that's ever happened. This was, so this was an unhinged moment from Bethany. And I have to say, I think Ramona read Bethany. red Bethany, what do you say, to shit, to hell, to wherever. She just, like, she just took her down and it was like, whoa, because Bethany's like, you know what, you say you support women and remote goes, no, actually, you don't support women. I'm very, very upset and hurt that you had the audacity.

At your lunch, I came out and I said, I was making a skincare line, and you said, oh, wow, that's in the infomercial. And when you left and right, bring up every, left and right, you bring up every product that you do, and you don't support other. women. You don't acknowledge anybody for anything they ever do. And as soon as Carol left the party, you talked about her behind her back. So how do you have the audacity, talk to me like you're talking to her? How about you didn't, how about you didn't even give Dorinda credit for the getting the nutcracker, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know how upset you got Dorinda for not acknowledging

she got you that nutcracker for your daughter, okay? Sorry, your problem is with yourself. Don't put it on me. Yeah, you put everybody down to make yourself look good, okay? And I'm not having any part of that. So I'm hanging up now. This clicks up. Meanwhile, she's, like, dragging a dead dog and doesn't even notice. You don't support other women whose dogs just die during this phone call, okay? It was such an amazing monologue. It was, like, it was amazing.

Romona monologues, right? Everyone just, we'll gather just famous actresses to gather rather read Ramona monologues. I, uh, I love Ramona's, uh, decision. Just her, her, her casual feminism. convenient feminism for what it works to take down this idea you don't support other women I mean I mean you don't support women okay you neither that's what it should be called hashtag you neither Bethany you neither I mean it's true it's true I don't think Bethany is great with supporting other women but I love that suddenly Ramona cares about that like out of nowhere

Ramona cares about it supporting other women well now they've all decided that that's their thing so we saw it the Red Cross thing winter it's like why would we let anybody start one like he. Everybody has decided now they're going to go after Bethany for not supporting women. That's like they're uniting cause now for the rest of the season, which you know, all this is going to do is get everybody back on Bethany's side. So you guys

go for it because look, I was I've been anti and then pro every other week I change sides. But I know that this is going to put me on Bethany's side. Because now you guys are just ganging up on Bethany. It's like, they are. They really are. It is now turning against Bethany. But Bethany did herself no favors in the scene because she really was like

she needed to take a seat when she's coming at Ramona about like, you know, you're enjoying out the people's arguments. You know, she was, it was like, Romana really wasn't part of this and she wasn't really starting the shit between them. But I have to say, it was all worth it. I mean, to get these lines, I mean, listen to this line. How about you didn't give Durinda credit for getting the nutcracker? I mean, what sort of line is that? Like, can you believe these things are coming out of her mouth, you know? Do you know how upset you got Dorinda for not acknowledging she got you that knockcracker for your daughter? Do you know? And the rest of the season is completely set out. Yeah. So then we go over to

Luann, where her realtor Anne is there. And she's found her a perfect rental. Oh, isn't it perfect? I mean, look at this. There's a door to the outside. The dog just goes out there. Isn't it my doors work? And Anne's like, oh, it's a new chapter. It's a perfect place for your new chapter.

For example, you go outside and then you just, you know, you're facing a wall. So, I mean, just put your hands up against the wall and just breathe deep because that's your new chapter now. And he's like, oh, Oh, well, it's been done. I love this bad boy.

Bad boy, what you're going to do? What's you going to do when Anne finds a penthouse for you? Oh, yes, I feel like I have a clean slate. I mean, everything's going to be uphill from, well, I mean, like, everything's, where, no place to go but up from here, except you can't go that far up, because I do have the penthouse. Well, I won't be here much anyway, because I'll be going to Palm Beach regular, Tinsley. Then I'll be going to Chile. Then I'll be going to Argentina. And then it goes 48 hours later.

It'll be such a great trip. I'll be totally unshackled. Don't try and tie me down. I can't wait to try each and every cocktail in all these countries. Because surely that's what I'll be doing. Drinking cocktail to cocktail, I will continue to be drinking cocktails and walking around like a free lady from country to country all through South America. Nothing's going to stop me.

Nothing in the entire world. 48 hours later. Dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun and Stets in the back of that cop car in Palm Beach. No, don't touch me. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you all with my singing, killing you all softly with my songs. And so she's like, why are these things on me? Can I just get out of them? And he's like, I'm going to hog tie you if you don't. Oh, I love prosciutto.

Oink, oink, oink. That sounds delicious. Tie me up, officer. I don't mind. Hogg tie me up. I just love that. Sounds good to me. I'll send you a thank you note after. Hogtie me up. Hugtie, baby hogtie, send me your love, baby, baby, baby, your love hogtie. Yeah, so she's just wasted.

She slips out of her ties, her hand-cuffs. She slipped out of her. I've never seen someone do that. She, who dined that shit, she got out of her handcuffs. And she said, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I'm going to kill you all. What did I do wrong? What did I do? What did I do to deserve this?

I cannot believe they use that footage. Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie. And they show her in jail, and the judge is like, now, I don't know if you have a drinking problem or not, but you should probably stop drinking. And it's like, bum, bum, bum, to be continued. Wow. That was amazing.

And so hilarious that they just, she's, they show her literally talking about going to Chile and Chile and Argentina and, you know, excited about her new chapter and all the fun things she'll be doing. And it's like 48 hours later, she's, they just, So security footage. I mean, so shady.

Way to take the piss out of her. So shate, amazing people. Love it. So good. And that brings us to the end. Yeah, what is, I mean, just an amazing, amazing episode. If Luan's a loser, then we are all winners. That's what I say.

I loved this episode. Thank you, Real Housewives of New York for everything you give us. And everybody, thank you so much for being here. All right. Bye. Watch what crap is. would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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