Watch What Crappens - #3140 Crappens Rewind: RHONY: Escape from Lu-catraz

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

Bethenny launches a denim line while Luann suffers the aftermath of her prison stint. Join us for this classic recap.This episode originally dropped on June 2018

Hello, crap, crap, watch what happens, what's what much what crappens, the podcast. Hello, and welcome to watch what crappins. The podcast about all that crap is, we love to talk about on Yeo Braves. I'm Ronnie Karam. And here I am with the gold. And here I am with the gold. Which is Ben Mandelker, my co-host, my internet life partner, my BFF. Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm great, thanks. How are you? I'm doing good. It's Real Housewives of New York Day, so that's always a good time for me, Ben.

Oh, such a good time for all of us. Now, it's time for Real Housewives of New York. Real House. I know this is going to be a good episode because the previously is narrated by, not narrated, by introed by Durinda. And she's trying to sound like Carol, which is really weird. She's like, oh. I'm the real ass life with you a kid.

I was like, did you ask Durinda to do this after 20 packs of cigarette? It's like they just woke Durinda up off the ground somewhere. We're like, will you record this? Yeah, she is like hungover. She got wasted last night in boutique and she is not ready to do her voiceover work. And there's a producer sitting in her bedroom holding up. her yellow plates being like, it's sunshine, it's sunshine, wake up. I fell for it again.

Sunshine plate. I was cracking up even before basically the show started for sort of the same reason because they're showing previously on Real House as New York and they're showing all this stuff. And they show Luann the police footage of her being arrested, you know, when she's like, She's like, why, why? Why? Why? You know, it's like, you know, she's in the police cruiser right now. And the cop literally like has his arm up on her chest and it's like, listen, listen, lady, I'm going to hog tie you if you don't stop. And then it cuts directly to do. Like the opening credits. Like this like casual lounge music. Like literally from I'm going to hog tie you if you don't stop to success. New York is only a matter of your high heels or whatever they say, you know? It's like, I love how they

cut from Luan to Luan because they went, they have Luan going, what is this Nutcracker situation? Like, right into her being in a cop car. I was like, whoa, what did happen with that nutcracker? What happened between Nutcracker and, you know, jail?

Did she steal it from El Chappo? Or is she, like, transporting something for him in there? El Chappo is a nutcracker. let me tell you that guy is a nutcracker that's no joke i'll tell you countess and friends includes so many different people people we got shyan jackson we have burnet peters el chapo amy phillips el choppo here to sing a wonderful ranchero song is el chapo what do they call those songs that are about those like ranchero songs that are about drug dealers there's a specific genre that is you know what

talking about. They're called the nut crackerase. Nutcrackero's. L. Nutcrackero. I'm learning Spanish on Duolingo. It's called L. L. L. Nutcrackero. Lose. No crackerose. Am I something to get right? Bum-da-dum-dum-bum-pum-bram. Three to one. Bapabababababababababab Bapab-bub-dab-d-a-d-d-l-kacker-o. Give me a nut. Give me a cracker, but never give me a nutcracker. One, two, three, hit it, boys. Do-Tur-Dur-Dur-Dur-Tur-Tur-Tur-Tur-T-Dur-D-D-D-D-R-D-D-D-T-R-D-T-T-R-T-E. Hey, officer, don't hog-tie, hog-tie, because I'm going to crack your nuts.

I'm going to hog-tie your nuts with my knot-cracker. Three, two, one. Well, it makes me laugh every time. Okay, so we open. her totally indelicate lyrics that don't even rhyme. They just are like globe consciousness. Let me read for my big trapper keeper covered in Jules' diary. Anyway, I'd like to call it Chapo on stage.

We're going to sing a song. We like to sing on those hot Mexican nights called El Nut Crackero. Always seems a little angry. Don't lose your head, Chapo. Get it, boys. Now, where is that guy? You know, he is always sneaking away. And now, from some wonderful underground music with El Chappo.

Okay. El Nutcrackero by Luann and Alchapo. Okay, so we opened with Bethany and her family in a car. And by her family, I mean, Kevin. Kevin, her driver. She's like, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, yeah, Kevin. I'm going to Chicago today. I'm going to Chicago.

I'm going to do a business conference. I'm going to get home. Brin's never going to be the wiser. Like, you know what the weather's like in Chicago? No, it's either colds, colds as fuck. Okay, okay, Kevin, okay. Hey, Kevin, hey, I saw you with the jewelry. I saw you, I saw you, I saw you, I saw you, I saw Kevin Jewelis, huh?

Is that what you do on the side, huh? Kevin Jules, huh? Kevin is so checked out. He's, yeah, he's like a library book, basically. He's just completely checked out. He's just staring at his phone, like, I do not get paid enough for this, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like, if I have to hear Bethany make another joke about Chicago weather,

I'm just going to just drive off this bridge right now. Thankfully, it's followed by Durinda limping out to meet Ramona in a car, and she's got a cane. And Ramona's like, hi, I'm here to pick you up. Do you need me to help you? Or can the dormant help you to the car? I was like, what happened? What is going on? Derinda has a cane.

Ramona is offering to help her into the car. What happened? They stabbed myself in the foot. I didn't even know it. Yeah. This is the most real households of New York injury of all time. Derinda, she's like, well, I have a christmas. awful salt shake and fell on my foot.

I was like, I haven't used the salt shaker since before, but she died. And I thought, hey, I want to use it. I'm going to use that salt shaker from now on. It's important that salt shakers, you know? So I decided to use it, fell on my foot, my foot, my foot is black. I said, I deserve it. I'd love that Dorenda, even before her foot's black,

like she just wakes up one morning, like, you know, that crystal saltful salt shaker, I deserve that. I deserve it. I'm just, like, imagining her on one of those, like, librarian ladders, you know, reaching up to, like, the, find, like, the Christophil shaker hidden behind a box of Special K or something. It just comes tumbling down. I'll tell you what happened to my foot. It was, here was, it was, Christophil with a salt shaker in the kitchen. Unfortunately, it's even more bloated now, because I insult.

So then Tensley's on the phone with her mom, and I wrote Tensley. on the phone with her mom, no Carol, because it's like, there's just the phone, Carol, it's like, that's like, that's how. That's how she talks when she's in California. She's so relaxed. Everything takes longer, including her syllables. That's Carol getting a massage. So Tinsley is talking to Dale on the phone. You know, Dale's probably sitting there down in Florida eating Russell Stover chocolates while her daughter's yamering away. You know, she is.

She's like, oh, oh, this one has Nugate. Go on, Tinsley. What are you talking about? She's like, oh, my God, Mom. Scott and I had such a good time in Palm Beach. Oh, my God, Mom. It was great. It's like literally the smallest city in all the world.

And it was so much fun. How could a city be so small? You have such big fun. And Carol's having way too much fun with this Lewin went to jail thing, you know? And she's like, well, a friend called me in. I thought, oh, no, she got a DUI. But then I Googled it. And I was scared for her.

That's not a good place to be. I was like, yeah, you seem terrified, Carol. You know, it's like that moment of Botox where you're just always smiling. But also, Carol, you just can't help smiling. Your face may not be able to tell me whether or not you're smiling. But that glimmer in your eyes tells me, bitch is smiling. Well, guess what? Everyone was smiling, including production, because I mean, Carol says when I heard about Luann getting arrested and, you know, I thought that she might have had a DUI, but it turns out it was so much more serious. If it were Beverly Hills, it would be like, but on this one's like, doon, do, do, like, oh, I thought she had a DUI. Turns out she just has four felonies and she assaulted a police officer and she might be going away to jail. And the music's like, da, da, da, da. Like, it's just carefree and light.

Like, it's just another day in New York. Let's get croissant. And Carol's like, I emailed her and I said, whoops, that's not good. And Tensley's like, I was just a few blocks where it went down. I was just right there. And I felt badly for her because, you know, I know how it'll be taken in the press. I reached out and I said, babe, I'm in town. And I shouldn't have said this, but come over to my mom's.

I'll have a cocktail. I actually really respect that instinct. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah. What else are you going to do before you're stuck in rehab? Chensley was so mad that she wasn't there. She's like, it's literally the smallest place on Earth, and I missed the coolest thing happening. You know, you know, that's what she was thinking.

So then, meanwhile, Ramona and Durinda talked about it. And Ramona, of course, has taken this chance to be demure. She's like, oh, the wind's taking, uh, well, you know, she's away right now. She's on vacation night. She's at summer camp. Get it. Derinda, get it. I love that she's whispering like somebody died.

She's like, the wind's away, okay? I mean, I haven't spoken to her. How's her spirits? No pun intended, Ramona. Yeah. And Durinda's like, I haven't died really, you know. Let's just trying to check out and ignore the noise. By the way, your call on Dorinda's new hair being B. Arthur's hair from the Golden Girls is fucking perfect.

Yeah, like Luke gave her golden girl's hair. Like, I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know how he can say employed after giving her that hair, but he did. And so Dorinda's like, yeah, I don't think Duane's ready to go back and get any sort of polite society. I'm like, none of you guys are ready to go into polite society. nothing about you guys ever even screams polite or society really i mean you just dropped a salt shaker on your foot yeah you have a salt shaker injury you broke your foot with a salt shaker he wasn't in a good place he wasn't in a good place and she's like yes well she said she was

self-medicating and i did that i was getting divorced i mean which on all p.m i mean i didn't hit anybody but still this is bad bad it's a bad thing that the police were there and that bad okay this was this was an out of control situation that became public and worse than that the police were involved that's bad that's like so bad bad it's like the worst kind of bad it's like michael jackson i'm bad i'm bad you know it i'm bad except it's about louisans like michael jackson's like louisne's bad the win's bad and she knows it she's bad okay it's like the divorce okay it doesn't matter Who won the divorce? Who lost the divorce?

Who came in an attaing the divorce? What the goal he was wearing at the divorce? I'm like, it's not about your divorce, Ramona. Okay. Self-medicating. After that divorce, I was addicted to using anti-aging cream. I just couldn't stop using it on myself. Self-medicated.

If it weren't for that divorce, I wouldn't look 20 years old. You're just like, you know what? Sometimes God stops what you're not recognizing. need to stop. I'm like, yeah, sort of like a salt shaker falling from on high onto your foot and breaking it with supernatural powers. I think that's telling you to lower your salt intake.

Yeah, I think if ever there was a sign from God, it was your Christofal a ball with a salt shaker plummeting from the heavens and splitting your foot in half. So Dorena's like, he had a party in the same place they had

to catch me party. Did you go? And Ramona's like, no. Uh, no. No, the music's like, you fucking liar. The music's like, Lai. She's not doing Felix. She's doing Felix the Cat Eyes, like, like left to right, left, right.

No, no. I wasn't, yeah, I spent my New Year's Eve. I'm doing like Duranda and Ramon. I'm doing like Duranda and Ramon's Eve at my friend. Come, calm, Cam, Cam, he had a great party. I mean, I saw him I ran into him a lot Well, not him, but his penis possibly

I don't know, something happened And Dred is like, who would go to that party Where you know you're going to see him? Only a low life would go there And the music's like, Romano went there Ramona just sitting there like She, Ramona just like has like A Christophil salt shaker in her

In her hand, she's like, do I do it now? Do I do it now? She's just with a bash She won't ever think, okay? You know, Ramona's just a full... You know, Ramona is just full of lies when Ramona's quiet. Because Ramona is never... Ramona talks through church.

Like, she is never quiet. Well, everyone's eating crackers. Why aren't they eating so many crackers? Don't they realize that carbs of Bathview? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I can't have this communion wine. Is it Pinot Rizio?

I don't think so. Speaking of crackers. It's like, oh, jeez. Okay, so Beth. And Bethany and Carol. Wait, Bethany Carol, you know what? Oh, no, Bethany's in the car. I just wrote Beth Car and that's what I write for Carol, too.

So, no, Bethany was, no, but Bethany's just talking. Now she's talking about Luann being right. She's like, well, hey, you know what? Like, I'm proud. I had one of Luann's last big nights. Like, we went out on Halloween. Like, basically, I'll take credit for it. Like, I had, like, one of her last nights.

That was me. Me. And then they cut to her, you know, being drunk, Diana in a car. Yeah. It's like, congratulations. We had a black face night. Let's pile on the abuse for Luan with this episode. They're like, don't forget she was in Blackface.

Yeah, let's bring that up with Kevin right now. He's like, yeah, this is great. He's like, I want to kill this lady in my backseat. So she's like, you know, there's so many ways that Luan can handle it. Like seriously, like literally, she could cry, she could not cry, she could sob, she could not sob, she could smile, she could not smile. I mean, who knows, run around the block, not run around the block. Go to a buffet, not go to a buffet. I mean, I don't know.

She can laugh. Yeah. She could sing. She could not sing. she could sit she could stand she could walk she could run sick i mean like she's going to rehab for 28 days like what what is that 28 days like a sandrovolic movie like is that enough was that what she could go like hang out with some zombies now huh she gonna go like take over london right now be like i want to eat your brains like literally like she's not gonna eat brains louin yeah she could

make some brains she's like seriously she goes well it'll be interesting to see her fresh and like never drink again and she starts like cracking up in the backseat with herself yeah Such an asshole And then So now I wrote that Carol and Tinsley were talking But was it just, did I get that wrong Was Tinsley talking to Dale still? I wrote Tinsley and Carol

Oh, so they must be talking about it. Yeah, no, she was never talking to Dale. I just wrote, I wrote Tinsley and her mom But it was Carol, it's just because I heard like an old voice on the other In my mind Oh, in my mind I thought that she was also talking to Dale I was fully like when I said Dale She does talk to her later

I mean, I still stand by the fact that Dale was sitting there eating real sister over chocolate. I mean, Dale was on that call, too. I know. That's why I didn't kick Dale out of that scene. Yeah, no, I'm here for Dale. They're doing a three-way. Dale was like, go on, Carol, talk. I'm just going to sit here in my Ross Stovers. I could see her fully dressed in like a pants suit,

like sitting outside on a pool chair, eating Russell Stover's chocolates. Russell's over chocolate. Just listening into Carol and Tinsley. That was a good one, Carol. That was a good joke. So, yeah, so Carol and Tinsley were talking about how Lou Rand is here from the police. And I love they're just like cracking up about

the fact that Luann slipped out of her handcuffs because that's what we were all thinking like how awesome and hilarious is it that Luan got out of her handcuffs and they show it again her just like I'm free I learned that one from El Jabo my good friends

now get over here so I can bite it off your head now excuse me I believe there's a tunnel somewhere near here I have to climb into I'm going to Cuba it's time for commercial it's time for for a crappence commercial.

So Carol's like, whoa, I was like, no way! And then I saw the video of the arraignment. And they showed the video, and the judge is like, listen, okay, I don't know if you're an alcoholic, but stop drinking. And she's like, well, you know, I.

And he goes, look, everything you can say can be used against you, so just don't talk. And she goes, oh, okay. Okay, thank you. Thanks for that. I know I'm not supposed to talk, but what if I sing three, two, one, I'm in court, I'm in court. I'm going to jail because I failed at my breathalyzer. I have a question.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Every time I am here. Duh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's night court. night for it everyone I had it coming I had it

there I admit it I only have my stuff and Tom to blame Dagestino singer Frankl

madly Salt shaker deadly One o'clock 2 o'clock 3 o'clock Rock 4 o'clock

5 o'clock 6 o'clock 6 o'clock Let's just get to it Jailhouse Rock I hate counting. How many counts do I have? I am the countess.

It comes back to Carol, and she's like, So Tinsley, were you at the same jail as Luan? And she's like, yes, Gun Club, bro, girl. Yes, it was the same. But it wasn't the same because I had a misdemeanor, and she has four felonies. Hey, by the way, are you going to that skinny jeans party? fucking people so then yeah carol's not going because her plane lands from

LA like an hour before the party or whatever so and then we see Ramona what Ramona and Durinda and Rinda's like so you're gonna go yes skinny girl jeans party I there I'll be actually careful and Ramona's like no wasn't invited and honestly I don't think I would go anyway because I don't know Bethany was mean to me and I didn't like and they do a flashback of her being you don't support other women which is like really one of my favorite scenes of all time now I said I've been saying that all week long I'll be like at sprouts and I'll just

be like walking by bananas like you don't support other women like when something's not on sale that you want I know you don't support other women okay bananas okay we get to see a clip of that

again and it's hilarious and then Durinda's like well you know we were in a good place until the nutcracker Yeah, and now Durinda, now Durinda has been riled up about this Nutcracker thing, where now she's, like, upset about it, but trying to act like she's not upset, but she's really upset. She's like, I mean, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. You have been, thank you. You know, but what was funny is, oh, I guess it was later. Never mind. I'll get to it later. Either way. I need this kind of negativity in my life, okay? I don't need that.

I could be alone. I was like you're, you hurt yourself with a salt shaker. You cannot be alone, okay? We know what happens to you when you're, You're stabbing yourself from the hands. You're dropping, like, heavy salt shakers on yourself. The last person that ever needs to be alone is you, okay? Yeah, exactly.

And Ramona goes, what a bunch we are. What a bunch, Kay. So then, speaking of what a bunch they are, we then go to Sonia. She is in, basically, a hazmat quarantine of, like, plastic drapes on her bed because her apartment's going through renovations, but it looks like someone came in and it's like, okay, you have Ebola, so you just stay on your bed until we get this all sorted out. Yes, it's like the Boysenwood Bible or whatever. Yeah, she's in bed.

It's like E.T. Yeah, it is. So she's like, oh, my God, I'm so allergic to all this does. Oh, I'm going to be staying with Tensley because I'm allergic to dust and might. Oh, I can't find my underwear, but that's okay. oh three bucks i've got three bucks and then she's smelling her underwear and piling them up and just going through her bills and i just love that sonia is like having a one woman show in every scene that's her i know she doesn't even need her facialists to come in anymore she's just on that bed

with a variety of like random items that she's either sniffing or touching i was like this is literally a view of of sonia as a homeless lady like i am seeing her right now like with these plastic things up she looks like she's in her like her own little tarp tent you know and i I'm not trying to be, like, insensitive the situation. But, like, what I'm seeing right now is I feel like I'm looking at a woman on the street, just, like, rambling and going through random, like, pieces of, like, trash, not trash, but like, it's like, you're getting a look on the inside of a tent city, you know, because she's literally in a, like, a plastic tent, like, picking up random things, sniffing them, like, inhaling, like, giving herself tinctures, which I don't think that's necessarily, like, a common homeless thing to do. but, like, you know, like, she's, like, spraying stuff in her mouth, and, like, it was just, it was intense. So good. It's like a one-woman show, the Sunjana monologues.

Yeah. And so she's, she's talking about how she reached out to Luan and everything. And she's like, you know, I know that Luan is a strong, is strong. And she's a proud woman. I'm like, just like me, Lou, proud dog. I got Luan a little staircase to get up on the bed. I don't want her to think I'm sticking. my nose in it, but when she passes, I'm

totally going to blow her ashes on someone's face. I'll tell you that right now. That's how she sends everybody out. And she has jury jury duties call, what does it call? Summons or whatever? And she's like, you're all guilty. You're

all guilty. Which is so how I am. That was actually such a funny moment. I just love that. Like, Sonia Justice, you know what? You're all guilty. guilty of love in the first degree. Is that so wrong? Taney.

It's like Tanya never comes. So Bethany and Bethany's in the car with Kevin. I wrote car again, damn it. So she's still in the car with Kevin. This is Bethany's whole life, basically. Bethany in the car with Kevin. She's like, I got a weird feeling about tonight.

Like, it's weird. And he goes, weird, good? She's like, no, no. Like, unsettled. Like, seriously? Like, literally. Seriously? Carol, seriously, rough patch, like, blah-la-la-la-la.

Like, Carol's not even coming, calm down. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So now, well, before that, though, we go to Ramona at the doctor's office. Oh, how did I skip Ramona at the doctors? Oh, my God, what a sin. I don't know. I don't know. You're a man of mystery.

I don't know. Don't try and figure it out then, okay. I don't understand. I don't understand. You just wait until it's over and you say that was good. And move on with your day. So Ramona, who was furious at Bethany last week for implying, for saying like what, yeah, oh, you have to have a whole infomercial, okay?

You have to have a whole infomercial. Now she actually literally has an infomercial. This entire scene was a hilarious, hilarious infomercial. So Ramona shows up at this doctor's office and she's like, now that my divorce is final, I don't have to work. But let's face it, I enjoy working. And I've always been entrepreneurial. And I'm really excited to do my anti-aging skincare, ageless by Ramona, okay?

People always say to me, you're reverse aging, like Benjamin Button. You can facelift a Botox, Judith, fillers, that, but it's about what you put on your face. I'm like, Ramona, you have like 10 facelifts. And you have Botox and fillers. I mean, I'm glad that you're keeping it lead up, but come on. Soon, I'm going to be working on a tugboat just off. like Benjamin Button and I'll be like Toot Toot because

Everyone's got to get it away from my boat And I'm going to be tugging along My old face because I've anti-age And become younger. Soon Kate Blanchett will be cradling me Like a little baby and she'll be like Whoa, you look great for your age. Are you one years old? I'll be like, no, I'm 63, okay?

People are always saints If you take another dress from the dressing group, not ever coming back on my talk show again. But guess what? You can say that all you want, but it's not going to change the suppleness, the quality of your skin, okay? I've always been entrepreneurial. One time when I was this little girl, I was like, whoa, I want to have a lemonade stand. And I set up a little lemonade stand.

Geraldine Pars-Smith, she came up to me and she was like, whoa, you don't know what lemonade even is. That's just water that you put yellow in. And I was like, no, it's not. She said, yes, it is. And she knocked over all my lemonade. And to this day, I still can't listen to Beyonce's album, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Geraldine took a lemon off the tree and threw it in my hat, and it hurt. But that's when I realized, oh, my God, I don't look 10 years old. I look 9 years old now. I realize citrus. That's what I need citrus. To this day, ever since Geraldine Parsons Smith threw a lemon at my head, I have trouble drinking Sprite. I can only drink half a bottle of Sprite because it's the lime half. I can't drink the lemon half.

So the doctor, she's like, I want to. to start with the serum that's hydrating, okay? When I was working with the doctors, I said, I want a serum. It absorbs into your skin. Look, it just melts right into your skin. I'm like, like lotion. Like lotion, Ramona? Yeah.

And the doctor was like, it's so light and so citrusy. She's, that's my set. That's my sat. Smell me. And she goes, yeah, you smell. She goes, yeah, you smell like this. They have a flashback. The product.

Yeah. And there's a flashback of Tom saying, you smell like grapefruit, which is also like, who says that to someone? You smell like a Weight Watcher's breakfast. I also want to give props to Dr. Amy Lewis for rocking a really impressive depremessing wig. Like, you really killed it. Like you basically are Grace Hattler. Well done. And then Ramona, of course, now is giving herself props.

Just so you know, I become a maven at whatever I'm interested in. So, for instance, last night, I was like, I want to have a slice of cheesecake. I'm a cheesecake maven now. Wow. I become passionate about it, not just passionate, but I become, like, intelligent about it, okay? I'm a maven of intelligence, okay? I'm a maven. Cheesecake.

Citrus cheesecake, okay? Oh, lemon ricotta cheesecake. I'm a maven. Hashtag maven. Bethany was mean about my skin care, but to be successful in life, You can't look behind you, or to your left, or to your right, or upstairs, or downstairs, in a car, outside of a car. You just say, you know what, Bethany, you don't support other women, okay? You just follow the beeps, and if the beeps get louder and louder, you stop, and you start digging in the sand until you find a trinket.

That's how you're successful. That's the direction you go in, okay? Trust me, I'm amazing. In the car with Bethany and Kevin. So, yeah, this is where I got a weird feeling. I got a weird feeling. I'm just unsettled. Like, I'm going to see Carol.

Like, we had a rough patch. Like, I thought it was over. I texted her. I was like, oh, my God, look, it's a holidays, you know, because I was sad and depressed. And so I texted her a picture and I said, I miss you. And I mean, well, that's a lot. And, like, I mean, well, that's a little. Bethany goes, I texted.

I said, I miss you. You seem cold. I'm like, um, how are you expecting a warm response when you accuse someone? Like, I miss you. You're cold. Like, you can't. insult someone, and then be like, let's be friends again, Bethany. You've got to work on that.

It doesn't work that way. That's not a lot. It's a little, okay? And I said, we got issues, and she said, I don't want to deal with that. We'll talk about it next year. Okay, well, it's next year. Kevin's like, oh, Jesus Christ, is it another fucking year in the front seat of this car? Yeah, exactly.

And then she's like, and I got this knockback of situation. Dorinda's mad at me about that. I mean, like, what I didn't say thank you enough. And then actually they show, they show a flashback of Bethany being like, thank you so much. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. She was like she was actually being super grateful.

Yeah. Just not during the party. Yeah, just not during the party. It was when Durinda said that she could find it for her. Yeah. So anyway, so Bethany arrives because she's showing up at her skinny girl gene event. So she gets out of the car and then she's like trying to walk through pedestrians. I just love how she just doesn't know how to deal with people.

She's like, like, ha, right, right. Huh? Wait, which way do I go? I wish I had one of those like, beeper things that Ramona has. Wait, left, right, huh? No, no. Just side, side, shuffle, backwards, forward, square dance. And then one of her, what's the matter of what's going on? What's happening, ladies? It's like, Bethany, you look marvelous. Now look here. People can walk down Skinny Girl Alley, Benley.

It's an alley made of me here. It's where people can see how good they look on the skinny girl chains, Bethany. Yeah. And if you're too big. then you don't deserve to be in this party anyway. Because you can't fit down Skin Girl Alley. It's a way to weed them out. Well, she got in a little trouble.

Well, not trouble, but like social media trouble, which I guess she's used to. But when she said she was coming out with skinny girl jeans, everyone was like, oh, my God, how dare you, fat shamer? You know, it's like the most inappropriate label to put on jeans. And so she's very careful in this episode of being like, oh, my God, we got size zeros. We got size 3,000th. Like, seriously, no one is too fat for my jeans. Okay.

All right, let's try it. Bring the fattest person you know here, and we'll put them in checkings. Okay? Yeah. So Tinsley shows up, and she's, like, trying to order a drink from the bartender, and she was like, do you have any, like, red wine? No. White wine, no.

And he's like, well, we have a leachie martini. She's like, perfect. I don't know why. She's just, like, very excited about that leachy martini. She was like, oh, my God. Dale's just sitting there on the phone

and be like what do you say she could put it on speaker I want to hear what he say I'll tell you what Tensler

that for a skump was right you never know what you're going to get was that a hazelnut was that a hazelnut in that chocolate my mom I broke up a Tito

but they don't have wines and I can have Tito well just don't don't get obsessed when he says he needs more time to himself Tensley

I am so disest disappointed. Why? What did I do? Not in you. I just have one of those chocolates that was just chocolate. Like there's no fear. Who puts cherries inside of chocolates these days, Tunsley? When is Mr. Stove going to realize that we need a guide on these chocolate boxes? I don't want to have a surprise every time. So then we get, and then Bethany comes after her, she's like, oh my God, it's you. Tensley. Oh my God. So you were out of town with your boyfriend? That's great. Did you get a ring yet? And she's like, no, just another diamond bracelet.

So then Sonia arrives. She looks fully like the, like a white version of the lady in the beginning of Little Shop of Hours. Who's like, the sun comes up at seven. You know, everyone's singing Skid Row. Like, you know, that lady. And it's time to go. She's like, you know, that lady walking with like the bags down. the street in that scene.

Sonia's like, well, the alarm goes off at seven. It's time to rise. Like, she campbell's like, sing it, child. Doon, do, do. Because it's five. I don't know what it works. I'm just like, I'm doing the total louisand. The guy who's working the buffet is like, and then you go downtown.

Skinny girl, where the jeans are tight. Skinny Girl, where the drinks are light. Skinny Girl, where you're just helping Bethany Grow. Down on Skinny Girl Alley. That's down on Skit Row, okay? I'll tell you, but that's where the Skinny Girl party is. Skid Row. Who goes there, okay?

They're like, if I saw that woman homeless in front of singing in front of a building, I'd say, you know what? You need citrus, okay, on your face. It's right. You'll be homeless, but at least you'll be young and homeless. Have you noticed that that homeless lady looks younger and younger and younger? Anti-aging homeless lady. So Sonia comes in in like a fur-pattington bear hat.

She really, she just looks crazy. And she's like, oh, Jeff and Olive, I'm not eating meat, only vegetables. Like you're wearing a fur hat. Yeah. She just goes, I'm vegan now. Like, it was just aside at literally 30 seconds before. It was like an improv exercise where someone like tapped her. And she's like, okay, I'm vegan now.

Great. Veggie, man. Are those vegetables? I'm vegan now. Oh, is that a falafels? I love falafels. That's chickpeat, right? And the guy goes, garbanzo beans, which, by the way, is a chickpe people.

It's the same thing. And she goes, oh, garbanzos. I eat those. And he's like, okay. And then she's like, well, though, they make me gassy, though. So then Sonia, she, like, she sees like a raw bar, a bunch of, like, oysters. She goes like, oh, perfect. And she just starts eating them. She goes, I mean, I'm vegan, but I allow myself seafood because it's raw. It's like the shrimp are cooked. Like,

you're making Portia Williams look good. Okay. How are you making Porsche Williams look like the authority here? So then she starts taking the seaweed off the display. She goes, oh, that's the display? Well, I had to eat the garnish. It's a delicacy. And then she just starts dancing while she's eating, and the buffet guy starts dancing with her. I was like, oh, my God, that's me at every wedding I ever go to alone. So, Bethany starts making a speech about who knows what. Like, oh, my God, jeans, you know, what I like about jeans? They can wear them.

They fit all people. I'm like jeans. Also, like DNA. That's pretty cool. You know, there's like DNA. DNA is in us. And those jeans, jeans. Like, okay.

Fat girls, skinny girls, you know, any kind of girls. Like, not really in between, but mostly like really fat and really skinny. Like, look, it feels very inclusive to me. And that's what I love about it. We got, like, a guy up here, but, like, it's all about women. Like, we have one guy, all women. Like, it's for women. It's a woman thing.

It's like, okay. So then Dorinda, like, hobbles in. She's now wearing a boot, skinny girl boot. And from her salt shaker injury, she's like, I'm my 15 black. So, so they're all just, now they're all just, like, talking and gabbing. And they're kind of all talking over each other. And Sonia is talking to Tinsley and Dirinda. And she's talking to Tinsley about moving in because she's going to be moving in because

house under construction and she's like yeah i got all my life my whole world is just on that four post bed and i don't know if you caught this but drinda goes i can imagine what that consists of and i bet i got a salt shaking so bethany's like all right daren da like are you madame like what's going on and she's good bethany we're done with that let's have this conversation once and move through it okay because i've been licking about it a lot like why did you say thank you in front of everyone you should have said thank you and no sensitive about it but now i didn't even want to see a nutcracker again because it's been making me still crazy now i'm seeing duck crackers everywhere yeah it's christmas so i bet bet his response is pretty much like yeah well remember the night night before puerto rico remember

how you act like crazy person i still brought you to pota rico huh how about that she's like we're not even talking about that yeah no yeah yeah because that's what friends do i'm a good friend i'm a good friend i'm a good friend okay just remember that i took on a private lane she not only uses your bad minutes against you, she's like holds on to it. She's like the movie, Jaws. Is this thing to go to the water again? Durinda. Yeah, Bethany is that Jaws movie.

Just when you think it's just to go back in the water. Shad Shaker, you lost a leg. A shot comes off and takes off yourself, Shaker. I like how she calls it That Jaws movie. Like, you know, I forget what's that movie about the jaws, whatever it's called, jaws. And Bethany's like, yeah, but why did you talk behind my back, okay?

Like, if Bethany, she's coming ready to apologize, but then once somebody is nice about it, she's like, okay, I'll yell at you then. If you're not going to, if you're not going to turn it on me, then I'll turn it on you. So now she's like, why did you talk about behind my back? Like, why can you just say it to my face? Like, seriously. And she goes, well, you know,

it's just because, like, I thought it was okay. But then Carol came up and said, I can't believe she didn't thank you. And the music goes, I have shown. And Bethany does like that thing where if you like spritz a cat with water, the cat's like, she does that, she drops a ball of yarn and runs under a couch. Right. By the way, I can't stand the, why did you talk about behind my back?

Like, you guys all talk about everything behind each other's back. You know, sometimes you just can't talk about everything to someone's face right at that moment. Okay, someone says something, it bothers you. And then you think, hmm, I feel like I should talk to Bethany about this. But like, maybe I'll talk, let me check in with so-and-so. I think that maybe I'm overreacting. Like, sometimes in life, you just want to. up talking behind someone's back and it's not a thing it just happens so like don't try to like

derail it this way so anyway that's her argument too later in the episode with carroll she's like what what i say everything to your face like seriously exactly exactly so yeah but derinda basically is she kind of throws carol under the bus well she's like well carroll is the one who said well well like what the hell she didn't even thank you so bethany's like ha so bethany is like well you know that's classic derinda okay she always if she can throw someone under the bus she will okay She will. And then two seconds later, Bethany's like, well, I heard it. You were super mad because Ramona said that you were like inconsolable about it.

And I'm like, you just threw Ramona onto the bus the way the Rinda threw Carol under the bus. What are you talking about, Bethany? Well, Ramona has no right to use my voice to say how I feel. And Ramona's very upset with you, okay? And so she's using it to pile a line. You see what she's doing? You see what she's doing? And Bethany's like, all right, look, you save Christmas and that's the truth.

Okay. So can we just hug now? Can we just hug now? Yay, Christmas saver. Whoa, Christmas. Yay, you save Christmas. Yeah. Kids are getting presents now.

Okay, Trinda. Can we hug? Like, yeah. Do you give me a light, mate, salt shaker, please? Commercials. Here comes one right now. So, then this hot bartender, but he's, like, hot with skeevy. He starts hitting on Sonia, and he's, like, bringing drinks to Sonia and Tinsley.

You know, it's like a typical sonia being like, oh, I'm single right now. I'm single. Let me flick my hair. I'm single. I'm single. But you're young. You're young. Yeah.

And he's like too lazy to even make a man bun. He's got like a man like, I don't know. Spaghetti pile. Yeah. Yeah. Like a ribbon. It's tied like one of those ribbons that you wear for like breast cancer or AIDS or whatever, like that little ribbon shape.

I'm like lazy. So Durinda and Tensley are talking about Luann. And during this thing, I'm not going to say it's all coming. But, you know, you open a cabinet, and boom, it's on your foot. She's like, what are we talking about? Lou, you know what Lou does? She goes back to the crime scene. She's a crime scene goa.

Oh, my God. Is that a thing? A crime scene goer? She goes, she's a return to the crime scene goa. Yeah, she goes, she's a return to the crime scene goa. You know those people who are arsenics? I was like, what? I think you mean arsonists.

I don't know what she's talking. I was trying to figure out what she's talking about. You know the old, you don't want people who wear old lace, you know, are snakes and old lace. Does it a go crime scene. They're like a return to the crime scene go. I like how she just like, I like how she creates a new category of person, like in a very indelicate way. It's like, you know those people who love making left turns? Yeah, left turn people makers.

Yeah. That's what they're called. Why don't you return to your left turn? Go to the breakers. And Tadsey's like, well, I think she might not look like she was okay, but then she got so drunk and she wasn't okay and Palm Beach is the smallest place on earth and she's coming in it now as possible when Dunsey said Palm Beach is one of the smallest places on this earth. I was like, okay, Tinsley, just relax. It has an airport. All right. And I guess now it would be a really good time to mention that we're bringing watcher crappins to Palm Beach. So yes, I guess you could say that we're crime scene goers too. West Palm Beach. And there is a difference. I think we are actually, I think our, we are in West Palm Beach, sir.

I think the comedy club is in Palm Beach. It's in West Palm Beach Impro. And do you know how I'm going to find out? I'm going to go right now to watch what crappins. I'm looking right now, Palm Beach Improv. Let's see. Well, it said, I thought it said West Palm. You're right.

That's West Palm. That's right. I wouldn't be going to Palm Beach. What am I a monster? How could I be so silly to think that we would be in Palm Beach? But you know, we are going to go to Palm Beach. We're going to take the Luan Tinsley tour of Palm Beach. We're going to cross that bridge.

A bridge over Tinsley Water. Yeah. We're going to be there in August, everyone. So if you want to come relive, recreate, be a crime scene regoer, recapture with us. Go to watchwarkas.com. I got tickets. So Bethany comes over and Durinda's like, look, how many of us have had it that night? Well, we wake up like, what did I do?

And Bethany goes, yeah, you did it, Tensley. like you did it and since he's like there is a difference she hit a cop and she slipped out of handcuffs and that's like oh my god I love that

that's amazing yeah everyone's just like obsessed with the fact that Luann got out of her handcuffs I love that like the listeners are obsessed and her cast members are obsessed with it

that like that is hilarious that is the funniest shit I've ever heard yeah she's magical probably the only one who wasn't well no I was gonna say she already laughed about it never mind

I was gonna say Carol probably wasn't And Carol was probably like, that's not nice of the handcuffs. But Carol laughed about it anyway. So I take it back. My musings from inside my head. This is what goes on inside my head right here. This is what you're all seeing. You're, you're, um, your crime scene goers in my own brain.

Your brain scene of the arsenics. Yeah. So Sonia's flirting with a young guy again, um, and just, you know, embarrassing herself, vegans, I don't know, animals, everything for, um, she's like, do you even have a driver's license? Are you 26? Have you ever slept in a bed with plastic grounded? Do you know what's like to be under quarantine? And Santa Trapay? So then she's talking to Bethany and she's basically, oh my God, you are my inspiration. He inspires so many women to, you know, just lose weight or whatever. I'm going to fuck that guy. And Bethany's like, I think he's my life partner. Which, you know, means Bethany's drunk because she's, like, having fun and being...

Yeah, because Bethany's like, seriously, thank you all for coming. Like, seriously, seriously, seriously, thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. Seriously, thank you for coming. I was like, okay, she's wasted. She's being nice to them. I like, I like Sonia being like, you are such an inspiration to me. Now I know exactly what to do to never have you yell at me on a couch again in my life.

I have learned. I'm inspired by that. By the way, my browser is still on watchwoodcrapins.com. And the first picture is me looking like a sea otter catching a fish in the air. So I'm closing that now. Okay. So Caroline and, Caroline, Carol and Beth are having, and Bethany are having lunch together. And Carol shows up.

And Carol shows up with her beats around her neck. She's like, yeah, you. Mm-s-hmm, so, um, so, um, so. I'm young. 99 percenters. And then Bethany shows up, like a Yeti detective. Okay, she has like a little, like, was she wearing sunglasses?

I think a little hat, like a little detective hat. And then this big old like Yeti jacket, like monsters that, like a white version of the Monsters Inc. Ink Monster. Yeah. And Carol's like, you like the abominable snowman. And she's like, huh? Yeah, like Monsters Inc. Like if I'm going to be a monster, it's going to be somebody with an ink, okay?

Yeah, I'm a Senior VP of Monster Inc. Okay. Like, literally, I was so drunk last night. I woke up. My hair pieces were in a bag of potato chips, which is hilarious. I mean, like, that's how I know I was drunk. I was last time I had a potato chip, huh? She needs a bloody merry plea. She's still hung over from last night.

I was like, okay, Judgey, charge your beats. So, that seems like, oh, my God. The leaking was odd, okay? You don't support Bose headphones, okay? You don't support those headphones, okay? You don't support. Good audio. I totally win.

All she should have dumped was had some citrus on a face. So Carol's like, oh my God, the story sounds amazing. My favorite part was the handcuffs. In my mind, she escaped and she's running across the lawn screaming, I'm going to kill you all. I mean, we're laughing, but I mean, it's hilarious. I'll keep laughing. So you're upset with me?

Like, what's going on? I love how Carol orders this, too. She goes, oh, bread and the cucumber. I miss that. Bread and a cucumber, course. It sounds delicious, Carol. Yeah. So, yeah, Bethany's like, yeah, all right.

Well, that was time. What's going on? Huh? You upset with me? What's happening? What's it matter? Carol says, she's basically like, well, you know, with our friendship, like, this summer, there was like a new, aggressive, dismissive vibe.

I'm like, Carol, are you just becoming friends with Bethany? Like, how have you only now found that vibe? with Bethany. That's how she, like, that's her love language to be dismissive and aggressive. Yeah. Well, it's like you turn on the sprinklers every night, but then you stand in front of one and you get mad at the sprinkler. Like, bitch, you're the one who's turned the sprinklers on. You've been turning those sprinklers on for years now, and you've been fine with them. Really a perfect analogy. It's a seal.

That's Carol's voice. broken up in a sprinkling or if it's the hose if you just turn on the carol hose it just goes all the plants get scared um they turn into like those like souls that never got their voices back on little mermaid so um so um so carol base is like well i heard that you were like annoyed with adam and i wanted to talk to you about in the berkshires but then all you you want to talk about was how our friendship shift. It was a friendship shift that I didn't get to talk about it. And they're like going back and forth about this Adam stuff.

And my favorite part about this was then on the bottom of the screen, a Jurassic World promo popped up. Did you see this? Like a Tyrannosaurus rexon of a velociraptor. I was like, that is so perfect right now. Carl and Bethany and then these two dinosaurs are coming at us. Like, what is the scariest part? What is the scariest thing on the screen right now? I'll tell you one thing.

It's not the T-Rex. The other one has a cucumber and some toast. So Bethany's apologizing because she did call Carol and really shit-talk at him, but she did that because she thought they were broken up. So it's kind of her way of helping, being like, yeah, he's an asshole. Yeah, and by the way, she said she's not upset at all about Carol's contributions to retract her she's like i don't care about that i don't care about that but like you said she basically was like you know i like i actually like adam but you know what i was like i he

said it rubbed me the wrong way and i called you up and i talked a lot of shit because i thought you guys were totally broken up so i thought like i was able to do that and be okay and then carroll's like but it wouldn't have been okay anyway and she's like no i know and she goes she goes listen i question his motive sometimes and that's my prerogative i you know it's my bad and she actually is like fully like, no, I should not have. I talk too much. I, I misjudged the situation is basically what she's saying. But she keeps saying, I'm allowed. I'm allowed. Okay. Like, I'm allowed to say that. And so Carol, she goes, but look, Carol, I love you. Like, seriously. Like, it's Christmas. And I texted you and I sent a picture of us. And I said, you know, like I miss you. And then you said,

it's a lot. And she goes, you said, that's what happened. That's not what actually happened. And she goes, so what happened. And then Carol just kind of rolls her eyes because Bethany's like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and it's like commercial so we come back she's like and also i just want to say before before going down this path a little bit that that that carol says that she doesn't like that bethany saw saw adam's actions in a negative light what what she doesn't because bethany says that the way adam acted that it ruptured the wrong way and carol says that she doesn't like that bethany thought that adam's action saw adam's actions in a negative light and then talk to everyone

else about it so she hasn't she feels like bethne went just like yammered and talk shit about Adam to everyone. And she's like, well, I got to L.A., and I opened my phone, and you've got all these texts, and you're like, why are you mad? And Ramona's a terrible person and all this. And I said, this is not a conversation for text. And then you just kept texting and texting and texting. Which is so Bethany.

She's like, what? I just said, I love you. And it's like, of course she didn't. She called. Yeah. It's like 10 pages of text, just ranting like a crazy person. I love that she just like annoyed the fuck out of Carol like Carol's like she's like What like what's going on? I miss you and then she's like ranting about remote and Carol's like I I I can we just like talk about this when we get back to me I can't right now

And then I just kept on texting her and then I like Carol goes she had no respect for what I just said I'm like well okay well yeah I guess you didn't because you said can we talk about this later But like you know if someone keeps texting you up to you say I can't talk right now you just be like. I just be like. I? They're being annoying. Don't be like, they have no respect for me and for my boundaries. Like, take a scene. Okay, Carol, yeah. Calm down over there. She's like, I'm going to write an article about this in fog.

Or whatever. So now Carol starts saying that she's mad that Bethany said that she looked sad. When Carol left Bethany's Christmas party, when Bethany was like, she looks sad. So Carol was like, I didn't like that. And Carol's like, I would never tell Ramona that you look sad about your breakup with Dennis. I'm like, even though you, but you did, sorry, I'm getting twisted to my own logic. She's saying, if it were me, I would never be like, oh, you look sad, you look sad. I'm like, but when you walked out at the party with Dorinda, you were like, wow, she didn't thank you.

I'm like, so you would do something like that. Yeah, they're all hypocrites and I love it. And Bethany's like, I'm not allowed to say that. What do I have a gag order? Like, seriously? Like, I can't talk about you. Like seriously. I just look sad.

And I said, look sad. Like sad. I would love to see Beth with a gag order. Yeah, good luck. She'd still be like, the gag would give up. I'd be like, I can't. Like, you guys can't hear it because I'm covering it.

But, like, my ear that's in her mouth is like, I can't hear any more of this shit. Breaking news, New York City. A gag has killed itself. A gag jumped out of someone's mouth and into traffic. And it was run over by Kelly Benson. Who is friends with Julie. right, Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah. So Carol, basically Carol doesn't like that Bethany has been gossipy.

That's what it, that's what it really boils down to. She feels like Bethany has been talking by her back about Adam, and now she's talking about Ramona. And she just feels like Bethany is super gossipy. And that's, that's the issue. Yeah. She didn't even know they had a problem until she heard about it from everybody else, which is true.

But here is also where I switch sides. It's like, it happens every week. It's not really sides, because I think they're. both assholes but now i'm like okay carroll enough like shut up like her blog the week that this came out came out the day either the day before the show aired or the day of the show and it's just another like rant against bethany and it's like okay you you're over playing your hand ma'am okay nothing that's happened is this bad yeah it's weird because i feel like bethany actually stated her case really well and i'm like you know what bethine's saying is like she did say you know what

she seemed sad and she also was she was like very upfront about that whole conversation she had about Adam and everything. But then where Bethany lost me is that like she made it sound like she sent three lines of text. And then Carol's like, no, she was texting this, this and this and this. And I was just like, this is too big of a conversation. We'll talk women back and get back in New York. So it's like, Bethany is leaving out information, which is not, that's not cool.

But then again, Carol, it's like, why don't you just call her? Like, why did you know? And I think that's like part of the issue is that there probably was a time where Carol would have called and they would have talked. and then Carol doesn't call her now. So that's why Bethany is acting crazy. And Carol's like, oh, should we hugged out?

I'm not really a hugger. Bethany goes, well, but debating. Bethany's like, Carol, everything you do is the debate. You're always debating me. It's like you're checking boxes. Like, you win, Carol. You win, you win, okay?

You just win. You win. Yeah, you got it. You're talking about it. She's like, no, that's what you're doing, Bethany. Which is funny because that's a good debate, but and the buddy's like, I don't know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry like literally I can't I can't and I'm like I don't want an apology it's like oh my God and then Bethany goes it's like it's like you're just being so critical you're so critical you're so critical I'm like do you remember that you reamed out Ramona last episode do you remember miss like like Bethany is not critical yeah do you remember every talking head you've done like even in this episode yeah so she pulls out a lozenge that's how you can tell that Bethany is like now like rendered powerless she has to pull out a loss inch yeah so

Or my throat. Sorry. It was the wrong lozenge voice. No, that was Bethany's voice when she needs a lozage. Okay, that's much better. Listen, I'm sorry. I'll apologize to you. I'll apologize to Adam.

I'll apologize to everyone. I'll apologize to the wager. I'll apologize to the lozange. I'll apologize to the yet to you. I killed to get this jacket. All right. I'll just sit here peacefully. Suck this lozenge and watch you eat bread and a cucumber, okay?

Yeah. And so they talk about hugging. And she's like, I'm not really a hugger. She goes, you've hugged me before. Okay. Let's hug you win again, Bethany. Yes, they have like a fake, hugging, hugging resolution moment. So now, now we go to Sonia's, oh, to Sonia moving into Tinsley's hotel apartment.

So good. So Sonia is thrilled because this is like the lap of modern luxury. It's not like the old broke down leftover luxury from days of yore. It's like this new luxury thing. And she's like, Tensley's like, no one is going to call me a bad friend again. So she's like, Welcome. Look, I got you a Louis Vuitton. Welcome. Look, there's Louis Vuitton. And Tony's like, oh, my God.

A Louis Vuitton? Yeah. Yeah. She was, listen, somebody stayed on my yacht once, and they gave me a Louis Vuitton, and it has hand-painted. It was a fake, and I tried to return it. I was like, I'd like to return this Louis Vuitton to the Louis Vuitton store, and they wouldn't take my Louis Vuitton.

And that's when I got my first, my first headshot, not headshot. I don't know what I'm going to mugshot. Yeah. So Tinsley was like, she's like, okay, here are the rules when you stay with Tinsley. There are no rules. Actually, there's one rule. You can't actually stay with me. You're going in a different room.

You got the penthouse. This was so good that she rented a whole penthouse to not have so dear in her house. I mean, that is priceless. And Sonia's like, who can say no to a penthouse? it's her plastic for over the bed just in case there's might yeah even actually she still managed to complain a little bit because she's like well it's bittersweet because i was really looking forward to having a slumber party i was like you have a penthouse in tinsley's hotel apartment okay like just take it and you got louis baton bag for free well she's happy sonya

tinsley made up her tinsley finally made up for it sonia was happy as a clam at a raw bar being she really was so dorinda goes to the park and she's like getting her phone up to her face and it looks like it's going to be for her face time but then luan luan calls and she's like you got me doing an insta that's what i like to call durinda on a bench this is more shocking hearing from you is more shocking than a giant shout shaker falling and breaking my eyes afoot i was a sequel to misery called salty well like can hardly believe it, first of all. Here was the plan.

I was invited to a wedding in Chile, and I figured I would fly into Palm Beach and just stay with a friend, and then go see my family in Jupiter. And then, well, it didn't happen like that. Turns out, El Chapo already flew out, flew down to Chile, took my spot, and I was like, well, what am I going to do?

We're just going to sit around here in Palm Beach and drink? Guess what? Option B. Oh, and then I go to lunch, and I sit in the same seats where I had lunch Tom. And then I went and had cocktails at the place we loved having vodka martinis, and I had vodka martinis. And then I ended up in the hotel. We had a wedding luncheon. Why did I do that? Then I went to a shoe store where I sat down and I was like, hey, I remember sitting in this exact space to try on some crocs with Tom. There was a crosswalk. We wouldn't wait for the

light to blink. And I walked across the crosswalk without waiting for the light to blink. Why? I went into a yogurt land. It was the same yogurt land that Tom and I used to go into. I used the exact same nozzle to pull the exact same flavor that I always get a yogurt land the same once with Tom why why I watched friends on the plane that's what I did with Tom why would I do that I sat on the aisle I always sit on the aisle why last time I sat on the aisle was with Tom why not to mention the aisle oh we went to day I went to Dave and Busters by myself I did ski ball I always did ski ball with Tom why would I do that what a mistake So she goes, so Durinda's like, well, because Luann's like, oh, all these emotions, they just came flooding back.

Too much for me to handle. And Durinda's like, don't ever go back to Palm Beach. That is not a vacation destination for you anymore. No more Palm Beach. What about West Palm? No. Well, I was trying to drink out of, drink out the emotions, you know? I knew I needed help and I hit a wall.

I wish it hadn't been a brick wall. What am I the Kool-Aid man? Three, two, one, is a brick wall. I hit my head hard. On the brick wall, Kool-Aid. Brick wall. And then before you knew it,

the piano man switched into a montage we hadn't even practiced. Bad boys, bad boys. What are you going to do when they come for you, eh? I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to slip out of my handcuffs and sing. Three, two, one. Nutt-crack-o, Nuck-rack-o, Nell, Nutt-crack-o.

no crack go um did you notice derinda's iPhone she had so she you know she's talking to Luan so it has her contact you know like when you call someone on an iPhone at the top it'll say like you'll say like Ronnie Karam but if I have like two um entries contact entries for you let's have one that says like Ronnie Karam and one that says like um flip it you know from TV Gasm if you call me it would say Ronnie Karam or Flip it. So on hers, it said, Luan de L-S-Epps or L-Wan-N-N-A-S-L-L-S-L-S-L-S-A-L-I-N-N-A-D-S-S-S-S, like one word. Like, clearly the first time that Durinda ever met Luan, she just mashed in these letters.

Like, L-U-A-N-S-S-S-S-S-S, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, that fun good. I made a part of the Countess. Like, she couldn't do... Here's the Starletaker film it before I could win the space bars. Well, I hope that's not her eyes contact. They'd be like, what the fuck is this? Yes, yes. Hey, my foot's turning black.

Carlis, you're a little bit of me. Like, what? let me tell you something now that I'm a jailbird who's flown the coop I'm now in rehab and trying to avoid all these zombies in these 28 days while I'm here

I have to say it was hard the hard thing was calling my children and being like no taco Tuesday this week I'm in jail and then I had to call my mom and my mom hasn't been this disappointed

since I did a news a news story in a big lots parking lot I'll tell you this is rock bottom You can't get worse than being arrested This is rock bottom I'm like It can get a lot worse than being arrested probably

Yeah give it time honey Give it time So she's like well I'm reconnecting I'm reconnecting with my soul And Dorend is like That sounds good I want to come It's like you'll get your chance Oh you certainly will

You certainly will She's like well you do have to get arrested first I think three much has enough of this group Who's the third mugshot? Sonia. Oh, I forgot Sony got arrested. Yeah, I thought you just mentioned it. I did.

I actually have forgotten, too, until I thought you had mentioned it just before. Yeah, Sony has a mugshot. Oh, I forgot. I forgot, and I just mentioned it. I mean, that's pretty sad. Well, you know, it happened with a Louis Vuitton incident. I got leprosied from a fake Louis Vuitton vendor. had to be in quarantine on my bed

Oh yeah That was just kidding mention I didn't know son you had a mic shot I love it I think it's from a DUI I think I don't know you can look it up It's very pretty bug shot This show

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