Watch What Crappens - 3141 Rhop S10e13 Part 1 Malice In Wanderland

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recap!Angel gets all the ladies of Real Housewives of Potomac to her house in Colorado to diss Gizelle and Ashley and finally get to say “NOT IN MY HOUSE!” or at least “NOT IN MY RENTAL HOUSE!” Will all the ladies make it through the trip, and will Angel be evicted before they even can? To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins, 2026 edition. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How are you? Happy New Year. It's a brand new year here in Los Angeles. You know what? Even the entire world, too. It's shocking. The New Year happened over across the entire world. And I am so excited to dive into 2026 with you, Ronnie. And there's current, a car chase happening outside. My place, helicopters are overhead.

It's an exciting time here in Los Angeles. It's a great way to kick off. Someone stole a Kia. You know, there's a black Tia that's stealing Kias still. God, Kiyos are so hot right now. Yeah, it literally is a black Kia that is being chased around the streets of Los Angeles right now. Burglars love Kias, guys. It's a fish.

Yeah, there was a lot of helicopters above my house last night, too, because somebody got stabbed down the street. So, you know, we're keeping it classy. First stabbing on the street in 2026. That was, okay. There's a little stabbing. I'm like, I was like, I'm like casually also watching this car chase. I've got to close this window.

But it's imagine I'm like, God, it's amazing. There's a black keya that's being, it's in someone stole a black key. And look, there's even some blue merchandise in the back. There's a sticker that says, watch our crappins. And oh, there's a Dartmouth college. I was like, oh, that's, oh, that's my Kia. I get my rocks off with Ina. sticker on the back.

Well, welcome to the show, everybody. 2026, we're very excited. You know, we didn't miss some stuff on Bravo, but we will be catching up as much as we can this week. It's an insane week here. I mean, to have a break was so nice, but to come back to this shitstorm of work is crazy. There are so many shows on Bravo.

Potomac, Married to Medicine, below deck. Okay, I'm already, I already called the place. Salt Lake City. Salt Lake, Southern Chau. Two Persian valleys. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Vanderprules. The Traders starts.

And we have to assume the Traders will be a three-episode premiere like it always is. So we are going to have to meet out this content in a way that keeps us sane. But it will all be covered. Don't you all agree? It will all be there. Yeah. At some point it'll all be there. But thanks for being with us, everybody.

We have also changed networks. A lot of you have noticed things. on your podcast feed looking wonky or weird. We have left Wondry. We loved Wondry. Thank you, Wondry, for a great time. We actually had, in the three years, we were with Wondry for, I think, a little bit under three years,

like a month short of three years. And in that time, we amassed 106 million downloads, which is insane. We had no idea. It was that good. So thank you. We had a great time with you, Wondry. Goodbye.

Now we're with A-CAST. And we love A-Cast, too. We were with them a long time. time ago. So if things are looking weird in your feed, that's why everything will be normalizing this week. We're also working on getting an ad-free feed-up on our Patreon. Ad-free will be still available. It will be moving to Patreon starting probably next week or the week after. It's a lot of episodes to transfer over. As you guys know, we're on episode 3,000-something. So it's a lot to go, but it will be transferred over. Ad-free will be available. Join Patreon. That's also where you get

all your bonus episodes and video content. We do all our recaps on video now. Those are a Patreon. So thanks, Patreon. Thanks, Patreon. I'm actually really excited about this because it's really nice to send people to one place for all the cool stuff before we had to send ad free was at 100 plus. And now there was this over at Patreon. And now it's all going to be in one place.

So, yeah, there is a bit of a transition. Thank you for your patience with that. You know, tech stuff. Things always get messed up. you all know when you get a new computer. We know you move things over. Like, oh, this is great. I got a new computer.

And now I've got to re-download this. And I have to remember my password. It doesn't, and what happened to my music library? So, like, we're, we've just, we're changing. Oh, it's even worse. It's even worse. It's like when your mom gets a new computer, okay? No.

Because we're your mom now. And so we get in. We're like, wait a minute. Your mom gets a new Apple TV. The bane of every child, your parents, dealing with their Apple TV. Yeah. So, you know what, we're going to make it.

Everything's going to be fine. We're going to make it. We're going to make it. Everything's fine. It's going to be fine. But, you know, everything's going great. We have announcements for the crappies coming up. A lot of good stuff.

Tonight is Amazon Live and Crappy Hour, both. Crappy Hour is live at 530 Pacific Time. Amazon Live is at 4 p.m. You can find links to all of that stuff on our bio. The crappy lives are always on. Patreon and on YouTube for free. And we try and put them on Instagram every time too. So just join us for that stuff.

And that's enough advertising crap for now. But whoever got that, Kia, good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck getting away. And how amazing that you can have that long of a chase in LA traffic. Hats off. Yeah, I woke up this morning and the helicopters were going.

Okay. And now, I think they got them. I just went back to look at it. and the car is no longer on the screen. So I think they got them. Okay, well, that's sad. Well, it's also appropriate. We should start this episode instead of me staring at a car chase.

So I'm going to close that tap officially. I love, congratulations on getting your car. I love people stealing like a lower budget luxury car as well. People are like, you know what? I'm going to get a nice car, but like, sensible. I'm going to get. It's going to be a sensible steal. It's 2026.

Okay, people cannot afford to steal above a Kia level car. Okay? Because those repairs on your stolen car are going to be expensive. Let me tell you something. Prices are out of control. I went to the grocery store. First of all, I went and there was an Apple. I tried to order something online.

I tried to order grocery online. An Apple, an Apple, a single Apple at the supermarket was $7. And then, and then, um, I was walking through the aisles and I was like, you know what? Time to, like I went a little nuts. I went a little ham over, over, over the break. Like, as I said, I literally ate like a lot of ham. And I was like, let me start to eat something.

Let me like cut down my carb footprint. I was like, let me get one of those little boxes of Atkins things, like the little nibbles. It was like caramel clusters, zero sugar because it's sugar alcohols. It comes eight in a little box. $17. No, $18. $18 for eight little things in individual wrappers in a box. It is insane.

So yeah. I was on Instagram this morning and cream cheese was $10. Philadelphia cream cheese was $10. This is crazy. Remember the days when we complained about eggs? Like eggs are nothing like eggs. Eggs are still fucking ridiculous. No, I'm saying.

But like it was like, oh God, the price of eggs. It's the price of everything now. It's crazy. It's crazy. And so, yeah. So I understand why someone's stealing IKEA. Well, our Patreon is staying the same price. So there.

Yes, inflation is not hitting our Patreon. Fucking inflation. I can't. Well, we'll just laugh as the world burns, as we always do. It's not to less inflation. It's more tariffs. But guess what? No tariffs on our Patreon.

There's both. There's both going on. It's shit everywhere. But you know what? When it's shit outside, it's still fun inside. Okay? Just come in here and laugh as the world burns down. What can you do?

Nothing. There's nothing you can do. I'll tell you what you're not going to do. eat cream cheese at my house. We're having dry bagels here. We're having dry bagels this week. And we're going to laugh the whole fucking time we eat them. Let's not get crazy. Okay. Because like if I'm going to be spending some money on tariffs, it will be on the cream cheese. I'm not going to lie. I will. Unfortunately, it got me there. I am I am busted. I will, I will do, I will pay tariff cream cheese. Yeah. All right. Well, if anybody expected us to get to the

point today, it's not going to happen. Okay. We just had a week off. We're so relaxed and we don't give a crap about anything. We're not going to even talk about this show. We are. We are going to talk about this show. It's Real Housewives of Potomac. Season 10, episode 13, attitude, attitude. This episode, Angel finally, you know, tries to lay down some law in like a stupid hat. And it doesn't really work, but it's very funny watching her try. I am so entertained by Angel, which is weird because she's like one of the least entertaining housewives of all time. She's just like a she's so bad at it. But it's just it's the circle.

It's the loop around effect. She's so bad at it that I'm like, I get excited to see her scenes to see how bad she will do if that makes sense. Right. Yeah. So like she's such a flop. Like, you know, like Kierna is also really bad at this too. Kianna's having a terrible season. But she's not like entertaining to me.

I'm like, oh, it's just Kierna doing the Kierna thing again. Like literally standing outside a billboard that's advertising a beer called apricot blossom. and then like watching it flip over to her salon and acting like she won an Oscar. But meanwhile, like Angel, Angel trying to be like, I'm a bad bitch, right? She's just so, she's so bad at it. And watching like the old guard just, just eat her up every single episode is hilarious. I mean, it was funny that she put Ashley and Jazeel in a shitty room. You know, I don't think anyone's like rooting for those two this season.

Everyone is, everyone loves watching them get their comeuppance. but still, Angel's just so bad at this. It's hilarious. Yeah, fun times. So let's catch up with the ladies, guys. Wendy is speaking at a commencement speech for the Washington School for Girls. And she's like, good morning, everyone. I am Pam Olive and Pam Oliver.

And it is truly a privilege to be here today. It's not just the end. It's the beginning of my child sentence, hopefully. soon. Let's see. Keep in touch. Keep in touch. So she does that. And then we go to Stacey and Arabella, who's cutting a $30 apple. Yeah. It's a shame. That was, that was definitely a, that was a tariff apple right there. And Stacey's like, Herabella, you have to use your left hand. Why would you use your right hand? Your left hand and you almost chopped her hand off, Arabella. She was like, um, mother, I'm ambidextrous. I play sports with my right hand

and for cutting with knives, and then I only write and draw with my left hand. She's, how did I not know this? Talk about dexterity. Talk about utility. Talk about both hands. I think Arabella's faking it.

I think she just, I think she came up with that at the last seconds. Yeah, I don't believe that she's ambidextrous. I think that it's not that she couldn't be or you need some special superpower. I just think that she's trying to be cool because she's on TV.

And I get it. Like I was a kid. I was always trying to come up with things I was really good at or things that I was really bad at. I'm like, I pretended that I couldn't skip. Like, when we were learning to skip. I was like, can't do it. Like, that was my thing. I skipped from my loo.

I skip from my loo. All the teachers were so confused. They had a parent teacher's conference. They were like, he can't skip. We can't figure it out. He can't skip. I have to say, in gym class, we would like, went in first. grade we would skip to my loo right then we'd sing that song skip to my loo and skip around the

auditorium i loved that uh really the first time had to sing the song and skip to it skit to my loo right isn't that the song like skip to my darling right yeah and we'd go around in a lap skipping in a lap oh wow and i loved it that's like the first sign that was gay i was panting around doing yes queen skips in my loop this is my jam um skipping to my loop back I'm skipping it to my lubitons. But what I was, I don't know, Arabella had that sort of a smirk, that she had a little smirk on her face,

like stupid mother with her one-handed. What do they call it? Handedness. What do you call handedness? Either way, single-handedness. Stupid sadpah mother. But she was so proud after that. Almost as proud as Kierina, who we now see, as I just mentioned,

she and her mom and Greg and Angel And but no hot brother. Hello. How do we have a family scene with no hot brother? Like I'm afraid. Who wants to see a hot brotherless billboard unveiling?

That's some bullshit. I don't care. Why is the billboard not your brother in a speedo just reclining? Why is it not that? But instead we have Greg. And Karen is like,

I want to thank you guys for all being here for this special moment of my entire business journey. I've literally always wanted a billboard. So she's really excited. She has a billboard, which is cool.

I mean, it'd be fun if we had a billboard. You know, I'd be also kind of embarrassing maybe. Buy one. I was being like, what you say? Buy one. It's not like they're awarding billboards.

You know what I mean? She's acting like she just won something. You bought a billboard. I mean, congratulations. Could you at least buy one that they painted onto the thing? I mean, it's not the same when it's a ditch. Sorry. I want a hand place.

Like, you know how they put the wallpaper up and you see the guys up there and it takes them like a day to like glue it. And then you're like gluing over somebody's face. you know, like the personal injury attorney's face. It's like you're going over him. That's when it's important. Like you flick on your your Photoshop picture, your Canva. And that was what's so funny. She acted like she was getting a billboard in Times Square.

Like it was sponsored by Unilever or something. And she like the NASDAQ building turned into a picture of her face. And it's like no, it was like the apricot, the apricot brew, whatever was called, Apricot Blossom brew that was available at the mall, just switched over. And now everyone at the intersection of, like, like Route 36 and, you know, like Pebble Lane can now see this billboard. But I just want to announce, I want to thank you for, I just won this refresh eyedrops

because we have won a Google ad. We now have our own Google ads, you guys. I'm so proud of you, man. I'm so proud of you. And Greg, once again, is like trying his hardest to have A, a personality and be, like, be supportive of this. He's like, yeah, I am proud of you as well. well and I see you deserve like all you were working on the late nights and you deserve all the

accolades you get. So I just want to say I went to the drugstore and here is another empty picture frame. I did take out the picture of the couple that was in there, but I'm not going to put a picture of us in it. Yeah. So she's really excited and we're dicks, but I mean, I guess that's cool to have a billboard. That's what I'm saying. It is cool to have a billboard, but like they really are. It's like, girl, you're on TV. You're already. on a much larger platform. Yeah. I've been on for three years.

Yeah, so they're excited. So now Tia and her family are doing that thing where you drive up to an old house that you used to live in. You're like, I lived in this house. And I don't like when people do that. I think it's so annoying. Heather,

Heather Dubrow just did it. Like, if anybody came to my house and said, I used to live here, I would be like, yeah, I still get your fucking mail. Would it be, would it kill you to do an address change? Isra? Would it? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Well, she is here and she's arrived at this house and she's brought her sister and her kids. And one of the kids has like a, has like a Capri's son. I kind of feel like if I'm going to someone's house, I don't know if I'm like bringing in beverages also. I don't know why. You don't know what you're going to get at that house. I don't trust your water. No, I'm just saying like I just feel like I wouldn't bring. Maybe it was offered to the kid.

I don't know. Like, I just feel like I don't want to bring in any Capri Sons. So, just specifically. I'll just bring my own Titos, but not a Capri said. Yeah. I just don't want to fill in a stranger's home that I asked to go into, you know? I felt like this is, I don't like when people do this. No one's ever done it to me, but I don't like when they do it on TV. It makes me uncomfortable. Like, I want to be able to live in my house without you being like, oh my God, this is the living room. My dead dad used to watch golf in. Like, I don't want to have to think about your dead fucking dad. like I'm trying to watch like he did rivalry. Like I don't care about your dead dad.

I shouldn't have to care about your dead dad. I have my own parents having issues. You know what I mean? Like don't leave that on me. But the good thing was they got the karma of the overly saccharine sweet white lady as the host. And I love that for them. Yeah, but who's also a slightly passive aggressive?

Because how many more times could you say, well, next time ring the doorbell. If you see it, ring the doorbell. Why did you ring the doorbell? like a good person would ring the door a bell. We're so honored to have you here. Please, whenever you pass, come by, come by for some wine, shiny. No, look what you brought into your life, Tia.

Look what you brought. And now that this woman has your number. And she's going to use it, too. This woman is going to use it. She's going to be sending your daughter cartons of fucking Capri sons because she saw it one time. I hope you like Jonathan Livingston Seagull because she's sending you a copy very soon. I'm going to tell that right now. Jonathan Deddingston Seagull, because that's all they want to talk about.

people who died and where they died in this house. I, you know what I also couldn't stop looking at in this house? This is obviously a house from the 80s that has been revamped or whatever. But they have this big staircase in the center of the house, the spiral, not spiral, but it's like a winding staircase. But the banister was like this thin, like white,

white wrought iron banister. I feel like, I think we need some, a banister rehab because it felt like it was, that was a holdover from like 1983. And I think we need. a bed or banister. Did you notice that? Was I the only one who was like saw that banister and was no those stairs were ugly. I don't know why they even shot by those stairs.

And you know a lot of housewives homes they won't shoot the whole home. You'll only see the kitchen and the living room and that's it. And sometimes the bedroom for packing scenes. And this is why because banisters. We haven't really improved banisters that much. Yeah. And yet at the same time people are like car companies are obsessed with reinventing door handles and it's driving me nuts so annoying we focus on banisters instead if we're gonna revamp a design can we focus on banisters because now every new car how many ubers do you get into where you it's like you're trying to get out you're like and you're like pawing at the side of like where the fuck is the door it's like oh you have to like press the button that's over

your head and that reveals a little latch and you turn that latch and that reveals a button it's like what happened like a simple like a handle truly like we did not have to change that Like you have to play frerejoch on your armpit to open the passenger side door. Like what the fuck, bro? Let me out of the car. This is all the on motions. No, it's all of them. Well, you're right.

It started with that. No, it started with Tesla being clever about how to open a door. Yeah. Yeah. But mine, you have to push the door handle in to get out. And can I tell you? Of course, like I got it because you just learn it once, right? And you're fine.

But whenever my dad gets to this car, he cannot get out. He's pulling the door handle. Pulling the door handle. What can I get it? out yeah because i'm trying to keep you in here dad push the fucking thing you've been in this car 30 times like nothing is intuitive the handles on the outside are a little crazy the handles on the inside are a little crazy and yeah i've learned them but i just don't i'm not i'm not old and crusty i'm just saying i don't see why we had had to like reinvent a very simple lever yeah but we can't reinvent banisters like

fix banisters fix the banisters let's get a better banister design okay yeah yeah It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Okay, so she goes through this house, and she takes her sister there. And basically, Tia wrote a blackmailing. She's like, I wrote a really nice, emotionally blackmail email asking for permission to go see the house. And it's her dad's old house. And she moved to D.C. to be by her dad.

And she says her dad hated England, but loved D.C. and he would call her Mona Lisa because she always, she was always moaning and complaining, which I liked. So she talks about how great her father was. Did her father have a family on her mother, or did he divorce the mother and then go have another family? I forget the story.

I'm not sure. I got this, I can't tell. I got the sense that there was, no, I got the sense that there was overlap because on the last episode, that's what they were talking about was that Tia has told her kids, that like there's another like that she has a sister because the dad had a um have children with another woman but that her kids have not figured out the timeline yet implying that there was overlap so yeah i mean seems great yeah i mean look i get loving your dad and stuff and especially

once he's gone and giving respect and everything but i the whole idolizing your i don't know i i was i'm still mad at the dad is that fair it's not even my dad and I'm still mad at the dad. I'm still mad at my dad. I just really enjoy being mad at some of the people on these shows. I do too. It feels great. It feels great.

I'm like riled up about the handles thing now that like I'm going to be angry at everyone on screen. Like I'm angry at this lady in her overalls. I'm angry at her sons. I'm angry at whoever came up with the font on the booklet that we see. Like I'm just now it's unleashed. I feel the same way. And I'm not only mad at her dad for what he did to Tia's family,

but also for not fixing the banister. You know, it could have started with him. He never made, he didn't make positive choices. There, I said. Yeah, the banister really needed to be. I really, I hope they, I hope this lady considers a banister redo. So, um, so Tia's very emotional. She starts to cry right away.

And she said, oh, I didn't think I had to cry. I said, sorry. Last time I was here, my dad was with me. And I was like, oh, and you said that he died eight years ago, right? Okay. Did you ring on his doorbell then? because you didn't ring on my doorbell. Okay, next time I'm ringing on my doorbell.

Okay? It's like, oh, yes, but I've driven by here a couple of times with my mom and taking pictures. And it would be weird to knock on the door. And I thought it was weird to email you, so I'm so happy that you responded. Yeah, and she did respond. She not only responded, she's made up a bed for you because you're never leaving this house. Oh, my God, I love having you here. Do you like breakfast?

What do you like? Do you like puzzles? Let's do a puzzle. Get me the fuck out of this house. So they look at the house and stuff, and I guess it's nice. It's nice. It's nice. And then like their uncle calls.

And then like at this moment, Amira, her sister, uh, goes into a room. And like one of the sons has like a little like note, like a little book of like daily affirmations. And one, like the book has been propped open to a certain date. Apparently like that's the one he likes the best. And that date that it was propped open to is the same. day as their dad's birthday. So Tia just starts to like, she just starts to cry because it feels like a sign and yada, yada, yada. So it's like a very emotional moment for her. Wow. Yeah. And it says the praise should be directed at the performance and not the person. So it's basically like

like does that mean. Stop taking all that credit kid. Yeah. I'm the person who performed it. So I'm taking the credit. I bought the billboard. I'm saying, it's basically like, I'm saying, celebrating the billboard. There's no ion team, as I think is sort of what it's saying, right? Because it's also like an athletic, it looked like it was sort of an athletic affirmation, right? Wasn't there like a swimmer

or like someone doing track and field on this little affirmation? I guess. Those people really never let you be happy with yourself athletes. It's saying just like, don't get a big head. Like praise, praise.

But there is an E and me. How about that? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And there's a and there's a, there's a there's there's there's a tea there's a tea and towel there's an eye in mine so there can't spell team without eat as an eat it suck my dick there's a suck my dick and suck my dick uh so tia is talking about how um he her dad wanted its children to all be close and she fought him on it and she carries so much guilt and here's what I was thinking about during this part.

The scene is too long. Like, it's nice and stuff, but I'm mad at your dad. The Bannister sucks. Get me out of the scene. Please, do something else. I liked the scene, but the Bannister really drove me nuts. I'm really glad that we agree with that. The Bannister sucked.

It sucked. Emily, if you're listening, you seem like a lovely person. Get a better Bannister. It's time. Seriously. You beat the change. You know what I mean? So now we're...

There is a Bannister. Yeah. So now we go to lunch with Ashley, Giselle, and Wendy, and it's like a competition to see who can dress stupider for lunch. Like, who dresses like this to go to lunch? And I love Real Housewives. I watch every episode of every Real Housewives. But Wendy, where are you eating?

What are you doing? The only outfit we saw stupider so far in 20, and I'm going to keep saying stupider, even though I don't think it's a word. But the only dumber outfit we've seen in 20. is in the next hour I'm married to medicine when Contessa shows up in that outfit for that purse party. Like, or what is happening on Sunday night? What is happening tonight? Oh, God.

Sunday night and a near-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-er. I'm joining the Carrie Underwood Sunday night football theme song. I'm waiting a week for Sunday night to play football and watch the sealers. So Wendy is like, it's a great. game last night, by the way. I do bunch things like watch football and that game last night was great great. So Wendy is like the fight that with my mom is really weighing heavily on me. So I'm not one to naturally talk about my feelings, especially when it's about my mom. And that's the woman that brought me into this earth. So I'm very delicate and with how I want to approach what I talk to

her about, which really has nothing to do with anything that happens this episode. I think that was like some weird transition out of last. It's like, oh, I guess we should we should address that crazy scene that happened. Now we've addressed it and now we can go back to being shady. What was a good reason to throw in the clip of shut the fuck up, Wendy? Which is all I really needed from the episode.

Yeah. I really, we really need to have, why am I blanking on her name again? What's Wendy's mom's name again? Susan? Susan and Vita. We need a Susan and Vita. We need to have like a family feud episode with Susan and Vita and we can have Wendy and MJ come to the podium and

it's going to be something like, like name something you might find at the beach and MJ rings in and it's like starfish and Vita goes starfish why would you say that why would you say starfish no and so why are you snacking and then Wendy will be like boom no not starfish a seashell oh shut the fuck up Wendy's seashell at the beach your mother should be at the beach add a little muzzle in there as the host be a perfect evening Muzzy Harvey. Well, I never approved of you going to the beach in the first place.

And how did the beach turn out for you? We didn't go to beach. So the girls gather to be evil about other people, which is the kind of lunch I love. So they're talking about their stupid party. Wendy's like, all of that was amazing. Your event was not amazing. Your event was store-bought potato salad and Popeye's chicken. Is that a rec center?

Is that a rec center? The only thing that was missing was a strange staircase in the middle of the room because that seems to be like usually the standard for any venue that they go to on Potomac. But aside from that, like, yeah. So it was missing the rec center bulletin board for missing dogs. Yeah. I feel like every event that they have on Potomac, there is a staircase. They either have to go up a staircase to get to a second floor because everything's on the second floor

or for some reason there's just a staircase in the middle of the room. So the rec center just broke all the rules. Yeah. Was it the same rec center that they had the fight or the the shrine center fight? The shrine fight? The shrine fight? You know what? Honestly, don't even answer.

It's the stupidest question of all time. Like, was that the same rec center that they shot a scene into years ago? Like literally no one cares. So Giselle's like, by the way, yeah, I just walked out the door because my feet were hurting. Which is my clunky way of saying, can we talk shit about Timo walking out the door? Yeah. And she's like, oh my God, we're not going to talk about my friend Timo. And she says, that's your friend?

She goes, oh, he was so nice to me. And they're like, oh, really? Yeah, because we just got a text from Monique. And I think we're being invited somewhere. But yeah, they're basically going to try and make this whole thing like Timos an evil abusive husband. Because that's what Giselle likes to do to husbands on this show, unless you're Juan and, like, openly cheating on your wife. Then she's all for you. But she's trying to throw some shade that I can't believe Tima wouldn't want to hang out with us.

So, but Monique has invited them all to a sip and. read. And she says, in preparation for the release of love letters from versions of myself, a memoir of self-discovery, transformation, healing, written by Monique Samuels. So it's going to be this, it's going to be a book reading that they're going to be having hosted by radio personality, Dee Carter, who I believe has shown up on this show a few times. And Ashley's like, oh yeah, that's cool. And, and Giselle, they're just talking about this book launch. And Ashley's wondering if Angel and Kierna are invited. Yeah. And we don't, don't know, but Angel might be in Colorado for the trip because that's where she really lives and she might be there getting things together.

So now we're going to have this big Colorado trip where Angel's going to invite them all to go to her Wonderland retreats. And Wendy says that sometimes she's a wet blanket, which sometimes. She's always a wet blanket. She's a wet blanket, what you could use in Colorado, like forest fires, you know. Yeah, she is. she is a she is she is the wettest of the blankets so joselle's like well when she came

around this group she swore up and down that she wants to be our friend she wants to get to know us uh and when he's like yeah she doesn't want to be our friend she's well she wants to be in our lives forever but I feel like it was all a lie we were duped but y'all we're about to go to this woman's house so they're really now playing up

this thing like I don't think that angel was lying and duping them but josell is going to play up this thing because clearly Angel's trigger is being called a catfish or inauthentic or duplicitous. So typical, Giselle is out. Yeah, that's where Giselle's like,

oh, wow, I'm going to torture somebody for an entire season and make them feel like shit. And then I'm going to say, wow, this is like she doesn't even want to be friends with me. That's crazy. Yeah.

Because you're an asshole. Well, because also Giselle is the type that's like she is going to rib you, rib you a bit, and throw shade at you and see how you handle it. And if you, like, handle it well and give it back, she's like, oh, okay, you've accepted my love, my weird love language is I'm going to be shady to you.

And if you accept it, it means that you've accepted my love language, I'm safe with you and you're cool and we're down. But if you're like Angel and you cry or you get mad and make Giselle feel like a bad person for being shady, Jazel's like, oh, reject, reject, reject. You're an awful person. So that's really what's happened with Giselle. Angel has rejected Giselle's shadiness.

And I feel like in a normal world, I don't think like you're like, I don't think if someone's going to be shady to you, you don't owe it to them to laugh it off and be like, oh yeah, I'm cool with that. Like if someone shady to you and you don't really know them, it's within your right to be like, park off. But also you came on this show and like it's got 10 years of established shady behavior and you just cannot act so like blindsided by this. Yeah, you have to be better at dealing with it for sure.

But it's just that Giselle's always a jerk to people. And then she wonders why nobody likes her because you're an asshole. And then she says things like this. Yeah, but like I don't want to be around Debbie Downer. You do a show with Robin. What are you talking about? Your best friend is Robin. Literally the OG wet blanket, OGWB.

I've got a business. I'm selling wet blankets. Embellished. That may have been also. Wendy says she's looking forward to the trip because she knows it's going to be a shit show. So now we go to Angel who's packing suitcases into her car and she's talking to her sister.

And she's talking about the house and, you know, Bobby's so livid about the house. And, you know, it's just going to be good to get back to Colorado so that we can refocus because I've invited the ladies out to Colorado. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's like, I'm going to do like a private dinner and then we'll have a mezcal tasting. It's this new beverage. This woman named Aaron brought it to the country.

I can't wait to show all the girls about it. Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, Colorado's a safe and sacred space that me and my husband have built. You built, you built, you built Colorado? She built it. That's like a huge credit. Where's your billboard? Yeah, it used to also be very flat.

She's like, I'm putting in some mountains. I'm putting in a very large airport. You know what this place needs? Some elevation and some trees. And Heidi Montag, yes. And Heidi Montag. I'll always remember when I signed up for clear, I did it next to Heidi Montag at the Denver airport.

Heidi and Spencer are right next to me at the next little clear terminal. And I was like, I'll never forget this moment. I was like, I feel so blessed to do this mundane task with Spidey next to me. So Angel says that Colorado is safe and sacred. as you just mentioned. And she goes, and then she's talking to, she's continuing to talk about this. She goes, I mean, they're saying I was evicted. I mean, I moved here that I moved here for the group.

I mean, the proof is in the pudding. They can kiss my ass without eviction comment. I'm like, the proof of this, put, you're literally being kicked out of your house. Now, the proof is a banana. And the pudding is banana pudding. It's a banana peel pudding and you stepped on it. She's like, they can kiss my ass with that eviction comment. You are, you are kicked out.

of that house. I don't know what, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know if you were evicted or not, but later in the episode, she's like, how dare you? I was not evicted. The lease just ended before we knew it was going to end. You, what does that mean? Why doesn't, why does she just say it's the women? She should just say, we thought the lease was until the end of the month and it turns out it was not, we thought the lease was over like July 15th and it was over July 1st. We messed up. So now we got to go.

But of course, then everyone would say, but why can't you get your two weeks added on to it, whatever? And they just say there's someone else coming in. So that's it. It was just like a clerical mistake. But the fact that she's trying to make it sound,

she doesn't want to admit that they did anything wrong, that they messed up, but they did something stupid. So she's like, well, we just, the lease ended earlier than we realized or whatever. I don't know. She's just, she's responding in a way that just sounds like pure bullshit. And that's why everyone's like, well, we're just going to say she got evicted.

And we'll keep poking at her. Yeah. So now we go to Ashley, who's throwing a party for Uncle Lump. Woohoo. And some other people. Ashley's really getting them all in there. You know, Ashley is like, this is called a six to 60 party because we've got a six-year-old and a 60-year-old. And I'm like, guess who this is meaningful for?

Neither one of those people. The 60-year-old doesn't want to be part. parting with the six year old and the six year old sure as fuck doesn't want to be parting with some with with mithusola over there we do you know it's so funny watching uncle lump walk in the house he's like oh god time to shoot another scene with my niece where i give really good advice that she does not pay attention to or maybe i'll give it to my sister who will not pay attention to my advice i'll just give more good advice on tv that everyone's going to ignore can't wait to celebrate another year of none of these idiots listening to me this poor guy

He gives good advice every single, like good, very simple advice every single year and no one pays attention to him. Yeah. Well, justice for Uncle Lump. His name is Lump. You know what I mean? Who's going to listen? Like, you need to have a better name. You can't call yourself Lump and then expect people to listen to you.

Like, yeah. I'm not listening to a person named Lump. I'm having that removed. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So people, everyone's arriving. Uncle Lumpa's there, Monica, and we have this whole,

everything's on the wall, like six to 60, yada, yada. And so they all gather in the living room and there's like a cake. And Ashley's just saying how it just really means a lot that they're all there and there's no tension basically because Michael's not there. You know, we see a flashback to really awkward moment where Uncle Lump is like, yeah, it's really great for us all to get together and have this dinner

because, you know, we know how quickly bad news travels. And Michael's like, raw, whatever it means. Monica grab your ass, Uncle Lump. Isn't it nice to finally be at a party that Michael's paying for that he's not at? So Monica, Uncle Lump's wife, is like, wow, Ashley, can I just tell you, it means just so much to me to be in your space

and be in your home. What does that mean? I know, Monica, you've been there before, haven't you? Yeah. You've been in her faux seaside resort house? Yeah, well, there's. saying because now Ashley's not even mentioning Michael. She's like, well, previously, because of whatever relationships were going on between my ex-partner and my family, it used to be very,

very tense. So now, Sheila's like, oh, you know, Jessica couldn't be here, but I just want to be with you guys, my family. So I know I initially told you about my partner who decided to go into treatment. You know, we talked about this, Ashley. And Ashley's like, we did. Remember when I told you I was cutting you off unless he got treatment? She's like, yeah, that was good conversation. So the guy has finally checked in to someplace. Yeah, she's like, and you know, this is like the beginning. It was like really hard for me.

It was really, really hard. And then Uncle Lump was like, so wait, what are we talking about? So we're talking about John getting treatment. And you know, you saw Sheila's face be like, we weren't going to mention his name on camera, but thank you very much. But yeah, and you see she's like regretting it. She immediately was like, whatever she was announcement she was going to make, she just decides to cut it off because she's now like very glassy-eyed and she's upset and

they're all like and it's a good thing this is a good thing this is a good thing for john still hate this guy we'll say we like him but um hey we're so we're really so happy for that piece of shit that he finally went to rehab well what was actually crazy as we see a flashback at some point of actually talking to her mom they had that they had that fight in her kitchen when that was 2018 that was like, we're coming up on eight years ago that that fight happened. I cannot believe how long ago that was. Like the story about this guy needing to go to rehab. I cannot believe it's taking this long.

And never having a job. And just being supported by Ashley's mom and Ashley and Michael. Yeah. And Michael, honestly. Yeah. So I don't blame Uncle Lump for being like, his name is John and he's a loser. Too little, too late, sucker.

Don't mention that very distinct name on TV. How will they ever find him? So Sheila cries. She's like, uh-uh. And so Ashley's proud of her mom, you know, because that was putting a strain on their relationship and stuff. And then Ashley's like, we love you and we love him too, which, no, you don't. And Ashley's like, yeah, he's never gone to rehab before. So I'm proud of him.

You know, 14-year-old Ashley has wanted this day for 23 years. Yeah. So yeah, that's exciting. And then the cakes come out. And now it's time to go to Monique's event, a place called Oliam. So Monique is saying how she set everything up and she's good to go. People are coming in. And she's really excited about her new book, Love Letters from Versions of Myself.

Oh, no. And she, yeah, I'm sorry. But first of all, writing love letters to yourself is weird. Just masturbate like everybody else. Stop being such a weirdo about it. And second of all, I really don't like when people talk about themselves as versions. because they did something that got them fired a few years ago. You're not a new version of yourself.

This is just a different season. Stop acting like you're a totally different person. I don't want a totally different person. I want the same Monique just maybe not hitting somebody. You know what I mean? Like just amend the other Monique. I don't need a whole different version. I don't want to have to buy a new book of you every time you decide not to hit somebody.

You know what I mean? You know, it's amazing? I actually have a love letter from a former version of myself. So it says, Dear Future Ben, just finished seeing my 18th Dave Matthews concert. They finally played Dancing Nansies. It was so good. I'm so drunk right now. Anyway, catch you later.

That was so nice of my previous. I just got a love letter from myself from three years ago. Ronnie, you're fat. God, I was a bitch. It was really a bitch. Wait, here's one. Oh, I'm sorry, that was from my mom. That was from my mom. Oh, here's, here's one from an older version of myself.

Dear Ben, just finished watching season one of the O.C. What a great show. You're going to love it, its entire run. Wow, that's a very specific. This is a very specific letter of the prediction of that. I made to myself back in 2002. I wonder why I wrote that to myself. Oh, I just got a letter from myself from last year. This is actually nice, this version of myself from last year.

Ronnie, just got a letter from mom. You're fat. I'm just not opening these letters anymore. Why would I even write myself? Oh, my God. Oh, I just got one. I just got one. Dear future Ben,

just had the most amazing time watching Kelly Dodd on Bravo. She is so funny and so great. I can't wait for the network to embrace her and for her to be a legend and on the future Housewives Rushmore. What could go wrong? I actually did get a real text from my dad.

This is the first text I've gotten from my dad this year. Well, I got one that said Happy New Year's. He's not a monster. But this one says, I decided to have my car washed inside and out. $42. dollars ridiculous another good reason to buy alexis they wash your car for free forever okay well i got i got a i woke up to this text from my mom that's the current version of my dad i got i got this

text for my mom this morning when i woke up and this is a true text ben colon after consulting a few indian cookbooks i made my own version of mulgatani soup that dad and i really loved i thought i'd show this recipe in case you want a hearty soup slash meal on a dreary january day so p s you might notice that i taken all Indian products out of this recipe. Whenever mom say I made my own version of an Indian soup, what would you make chicken noodle soup? I don't believe you. I want to taste the soup.

I'm assuming that she mixed multiple recipes together. You know what I would do? By the way, if I had a sassy Indian restaurant, I would call it a Megan Mugatamani Lollins. Never mind. Oh, here's a note to myself from five minutes ago. Ben, I have this great Megan Malali pun that you can do. Please make sure you stick the landing. P.S. Ronnie Spat. Okay. So, Monique is talking about her healing journey.

And she, the reason she wrote this book is because I did not realize how many other women who had experienced some of the same things. So if I could be the version, so if I could be the voice for that person that feels alone, that's what I want to be. So for. She should call it not for lonely moms. NFL. It would still be NFL moms. You're right. And she's, I love that she's just writing for everyone.

Like for any woman who was married to a tens of millions of air football fan who was kind of a jerk and who made poops bigger than the toilet. This book's for you. For any woman who has sex with her husband and emerges looking like a fruit roll up. Or a piece of paper. This one's for you. Big man. Big man.

Okay. So she's been working on it and she's very excited. So this is my favorite. So Angel. Elder Wag comes up to where and goes, I'm so excited for you. And as a writer, I know how hard it is to stay dedicated and keep going with page after page of your book.

I can't wait to read it. As a writer, what? Where did this come from? Hold on. Let's look up her book. I did. I looked up last night. Of course, I said, what books has Angel Massey written?

and first it tries to say, did you mean Alan Massey? That's not happen. What books has Angel Massey from Real Housewives of Potomac written? Yeah, she has not. She has not published any books herself

but was featured in a recent episode discussing Monique Samuel's noodle. Wow, that's good. That's really fast. Yeah, it said, Angel Massey is associated with nature and mindfulness and is launching a podcast called state of ease. Well, oh my God. I'm in a state of ease already knowing that this podcast is coming

out. But there isn't a widely known book titled Angel Massey book. So what the hell? Is she lying? I had looked up last night and the search results said that she has done some writing, but it was more like newsletters or like unconventional publishing, like zines or not zines, but like. Oh, I found it. I'm on Amazon. I went on Amazon. I went on Amazon. And I looked up Angel Massey and the first result is called Evicted. Interesting. Interesting. Sounds good.

Angel Massey. So it's a cookbook. It's a single ingredient cookbook for catfish. How interesting. But to be fair, she doesn't say she wrote a book. She says as a writer, I know how hard it is to stay dedicated. So, you know, maybe she, maybe it's like grocery lists, you know. Well, well, you know what? I've just gone right to the source. I've gone to her website to find her.

She has a website. Oh my God. I'm going on it right now. It's called the angel era. It's called the angel era. Okay. It's called the angel era.com. I do believe that she writes stuff, you know. Well, yeah, that's different. Okay. So that was that was my bad. That was my bad. Okay. With confidence, journalists and mindfulness practitioner with confidence. Oh, I see. With confidence. comma, journalist and, okay, well, there's a grammatical error in the first line of her bio. I hate to say it. As a writer, I know how hard it is to resist putting in a comma everywhere, but it says, with confidence, journalist and mindfulness practitioner, Angel Massey, okay, she has too many commas, so bad sign. I guess so she was a journalist, brings edge, impact, and unfettered truth to her work.

She started at BET News, producing news interstitials. So this is why she's sensitive about being called a catfish. It's because she comes from news, and that's like the worst thing. you can accuse a journalist of is not being authentic or good with your sources. So that makes a lot of sense. Oh, but next sentence. By 20, she had already written, Rondell. The word is written.

Already written and produced a documentary on the network. Yes, we can. The Obama speech special. So she did write stuff. So see, we're just, okay. Yeah. Okay. She's a respected writer covering topics from music to politics, pop culture, to social issues

for national publications like Complex V and Examiner. Okay. That's great. Okay. So we're just assholes. Yeah, I take it back to. I take it back to, but I'm still waiting on the evicted book. But she's still an asshole because she's still an asshole because she's promoting herself in this moment.

You know, Monique has written a book. She's whatever it is, she's love letters. And for Angel to be like as a writer, she's sort of doing that thing like, I do it too, you know? And that's kind of like obnoxious. So you can just say, I'm so excited for you. I know how hard it is. to stay dedicated and keep doing one page after the next.

Like it's, you know, I just, just typical, you know, she's always ready to insert, like promote what she's done, right? Like, as a wag, as someone who's married to someone who was a starter for 10 years, as an elder wag for an elder starter. Let me just say, I know how difficult it is to start. So congratulations on starting this event. Also, she lists her favorite song as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Requiem and D. Minor. So there you go.

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