Watch What Crappens - 3145 Below Deck Med S10e15 Part 1 F Boy Cryland

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recap!Below Deck Mediterranean features a tribute to a passed lover, but it’s a current F boy who sheds all the tears. They’re for himself, of course, but I think we’re still supposed to feel things? We don’t.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to What's What's Grappings. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good morning. Yeah. What are you doing? I was like, well, that's that's quite an assumption.

No, it is a good morning. How's it going with you? It's going well. I'm going to have to rearrange some shelves in my refrigerator because I'm afraid that a recent rearrangement put my eggs too close to a cold spot in the fridge that's causing them all to crack in the curtain and it's just it's very frustrating so that's the sort of day I'm having what's going on with you you're freezing your eggs or what yeah there's like a cold spot I think it's like the airflow is not good in this fridge and so the eggs I don't know what's going on with this fridge you know what

that's what I've got to say it's all it's all janky at the moment it's too cold for its own good eggs keep on breaking because they're freezing over despite the fact that I keep I raise the temperature. I'm just, you know, I'm not having it. I'm not having it with this refrigerator anymore. Well, I wish you the best with that one. Thank you. Speaking of cracked eggs, below deck Mediterranean, everybody. First of all, we moved to a new network.

We're on ACAST now. So some of you might be wondering what happened to the ad free feed, which was on Wondry. We're going to move that over to Patreon, but it's going to take us a couple of weeks. to get it settled. But that will be on Patreon. You'll be able to subscribe at Patreon and then put the RSS and whatever podcast feed you like. Patreon is also where you get our bonus episodes. This week, we're going to start talking about traders, which comes back this week. And it's also where you get video videos of these episodes, Crappin's On Demand, which run right now, everybody. So go over to Patreon for that stuff. And today is Below Deck Mediterranean. Now, we were on vacation last week during that episode

of Below Deck. And we're not going to do full coverage. We'll just tell you what happened. Basically, we didn't find out who shit in the shower and shoved it down the train, which was a We all know who did it. We all know who did it. He knows who did it. But I don't like mystery shows that end like that. That it's like, well, it's up to you guys. No, don't make it this whole big thing and this whole big plot and it's all over social media there's news stories about it for Christ's sake okay it is in the news it's like Venezuela who's shit in the toilet I mean who's shit in the shower that's what's in the news and then you just say that's it no I need more from you bravo below deck broves there's cameras all over that boat they

know who went in at what time it's not this is not a mystery they are protecting the guests for whatever reason I don't know why they decided to protect the guests I don't know Are they afraid of being sued for documenting that someone went into the shower and chatt in the drain? I don't know why they're protecting anyone on this. Why are they? I don't either. Start protecting poopers, okay? And also, we've been getting a lot of DMs and messages from people who work in hospitality, in all kinds of places.

Vegas. I don't know. Just lots of places. I don't need to go through every individual email. But lots of stories of people doing this, just pooping down, like shoving poop down drains. And I just have to say humanity, stop it. Just stop it. Enough already.

Poop in the toilet. And if you poop in the shower, pick it up with your hands and put it in the toilet and then wash your hands in the shower and stop being disgusting. Exactly, because you're already sullying one appendage by jamming it down the drain with your foot. So, like, I don't know how it's any different than doing it with your hand instead and putting it into the toilet. Like, don't be ridiculous. Like, yeah. Like, try not to be like a barbarian, especially if you're on a yacht. Right.

So we didn't know who shit the drain, but we do know who shit the bed. And that was Joe. What a loser. What a fucking loser. So it was, by the way, this was, this was, well, you know, he's a piece of shit. But by the way, the post-production just must have had so much fun doing this episode. I mean, for such a sad episode, it was a very sad episode. This was V coming back, you know, on her birthday,

and she wants to celebrate the death of her boyfriend, this guy, Bonn, who she really loved, who drowned. And the way they just keep cutting back to Joe crying. Crying, he's not crying because Bond died. He's not crying because he feels bad for Victoria. He's just crying because he feels like the piece of shit that's in the shower drain. Because for one night, he couldn't just keep it. together and, you know, out of respect for V and her birthday and her boyfriend dying.

He just couldn't even do that. So he's crying for himself and crying because he knows he looks like a shit on TV. I don't even think he feels bad about doing it. I think he just feels bad. I agree that that it was caught on camera. Right, because he was coming back with his Bravo. Like, I'm Joe Bradley 2.0. And trying to pretend like he was a different person and blew it.

You know, so he knew he was going to be getting mean comments on Twitter or whatever. I'm on Instagram. And so he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and sob. Also sobbing like that during someone else's like funeral or memorial services, just so gross. Like, you're such a gross person, Joe. Exactly.

And meanwhile, you know, V is crying because this is a terrible anniversary. And you also have Kathy who just found out that her stepfather died like the night before and she is a wreck, a full wreck. And Joe's going to cry, like Joe's going to act like he's the biggest. you know, victim of something terrible happening to him. And you know, you know this was he was crying about himself and not for V because, spoiler alert to this episode, when V ultimately breaks up with him, not a tear of shed. He is not crying over the dissolution of that relationship.

He is not crying that like she doesn't want him anymore. He's not moping around. There's like not one sense, not one shred of remorse and there's not one instance of sadness. but when he is but in the last episode it's nothing but that because it's not about being the last episode it's about his self-image he's such garbage garbage person

yeah garbage human so gross so we pick up in this episode and also that whole episode I mean that whole bond thing was really sad I don't know the whole like the whole thing of like my boyfriend died so I'm going to cry on Instagram like that's so weird

to me that people do that but I guess that's just modern times huh It's just like, I'm crying. Like, hey guys. Like, there were scenes of her being like, Hey, guys, it's me. I'm going to feel things today. And then she would go back on Instagram and be like,

Hey, guys, it's me. I'm crying. I'm crying, guys. Like, who does that? Why are you doing that? Stop doing that. I always think it's weird. Just everybody stop.

Because I know that people do that now. But that's like shitting in the drain. Just stop doing it. Like, close the door. Well, I think it's really weird when people go to funerals. And then they take selfies at the funeral or they take like a picture with people. They're like, crying.

Why are you, but you're like, you're using this as as social media content, you know, I don't, I don't know. It just seems like a weird thing to advertise, you know, and people do it all the time. And, you know, they'll be standing there or sometimes they'll even be smiling. Like, hey, and you're like, you're at a funeral. What's wrong with you? But you know what? I think it, I will say that if someone is like crying on Instagram, you know, over someone

who passed, you know, if this is their way of eulogizing them, like, that's fine. to me but um but i think that people's behaviors with social media and funerals are really strange i'm not gonna lie like that's just not where i'm trying to do a selfie or not trying to be like here's my outfit of the day or or like look at us look at us i'm also like not trying to like advertise how sad i am meaning that like like look look at me mourning i'm like it's one thing to get on social media and be expressed sadness for a person and pay tribute but like Here is a picture of me standing in a suit at the cemetery. I'm like, why are you doing that?

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it's weird to me. Like, put social media. I don't, I don't want that on my social media, you know. Or people's gym selfies. But, you know, we could be here all day with that.

Yeah. But constant. Like, I know this guy on Facebook who every day is putting himself shirtless on there. Like, we see, you know what I mean? We see congratulations on your protein, bro. Like, congrats on your macros. Okay.

So I guess that's my request for the world. I have three requests for the new year for people. Don't shit in drains and leave it there. Don't take off your shirt every day for no reason and talk about your macros and also stop sobbing. All of those things on social media. Please. I guess the shit in the drain wasn't social media. So that was a little off.

That would be terrible. To me, that's equal as to just sobbing on social media. I don't want to see it. They're all things that I don't want to see on social media. So please stop it. My wish is still the same as pretty much all of what you said. Plus, I don't need to see your baby next to a little chalkboard that says how many weeks old they are. Sorry, I just don't need to see it.

Okay, so poop and drains. Get me an adult. Shirtless, macros, sobbing about dead people and your fucking baby and how many days old it is. We don't care about any of those things. You know what? Just stop using social media, everybody. Just go, everybody buy a Kendall and just do that. I care about the one year.

I care about the 18 months. I care about annual, annual things. Here's where I will be okay with it. If you do take that picture because you want to chart the growth, take a bond to the pictures, take like 20 of them and make a carousel. So it's just one fell swoop. And then we can swipe through and it'll be like a flipbook. Then we see the baby getting bigger.

But if it's just like, like, okay, here's week three. And the baby is next to the, you put out the little. board that has the little letters on it that says, you know, seven weeks. I'm like, I, this is immaterial to me. And I, I get this. I say this as someone who puts up a picture of a cake. And I know people are like, why do I care about your cake? I get it. I get it. I'm not saying I'm not where you can eat the cake. You can't eat any of those other things that we talked about. You know what I mean? You can't eat babies. The cake is aspirational. You can't eat the poop in the drain. You can't eat somebody's gym selfie and you can't eat somebody sobbing. But you can eat a cake.

Yeah, and I feel like with the cake, it's like, I didn't think this was going to work out, but look, it actually worked out. And I know you could say that about a baby, but I feel like the baby almost always works out. So I'm just going to, like the baby's always going to be a baby, right? Well, really. It's not like you're going to give birth to a box. Actually, speaking of working out, like, whether it works out or not, babies actually obviously don't work out a lot of the time, especially once they hit teenagers, start posting their fails as children. That's what I want to see. I'm just like my baby, my baby hit somebody with a rock today.

second grade and was expelled. That's what I want to see on social media. I want to see your, your terrible parenting come to fruition on social media. You'll get my life there. Yes, there are many. It's very hard to, it's much harder to give birth to a baby than it is to bake a cake for 35 minutes. But what I will say is that you always know, like, you're not going to be like, I'm giving birth to my baby and then a tire pops out. Like, it's going to be a baby. But with a cake, you just really don't know. Like, that's like it's craziness with a cake. I don't know. I don't know if you've seen some of these kids on my timeline. Because I'm sure nobody planned that one. All right, let's get on with it.

So we pick up where we left off with Joe sobbing in the bathroom for himself and going, what kind of man am I? Who even am I? Who are doing this? Oh, stop acting like this was five seconds of you just deciding to drunkenly make out with somebody. You were up that girl's asshole the entire day and the day before that. Stop it. stop. At least, Kizzy, you know, I feel like Kizzy's even getting more shit because of girl code and all that, which I get. But Kizzy's at least honest. She's like, yeah, so what, I liked him too. I actually have to say in a weird way, I kind of respected Kizzy more than Joe in this situation. Well, not, not by much, but I agree with you. I think I feel like respect is a stretch. Respect is not, but I get what you. It's like I'm more like going. I went, well, like, oh. You know, this went, when V had her, once she processed and started circling around to everyone. And Kizzie was like, yeah, I'm not going to apologize because I like him and we've always had a connection. And yeah, we just decided to kiss.

I mean, it was definitely like bitchy and it was mean and it was a violation of girl code. But at least she was like, she wasn't trying to soften it. She's like, this is just where I stand, you know, whereas Joe is just like full of bullshit and lying. And they both are lying. They both are lying and acting like this was a spur of the moment, drunken thing. And it was. and we all saw, everyone saw. So now he's sobbing.

And, you know, part of the problem also with his relationship with V is that it never was like a proper relationship. It was definitely a Madonna horror complex situation going on where because she had a trauma in her past, he treated her like she was some sort of special porcelain doll that like could not be, had to be, you have to wear special gloves with. And like, she's so delicate. And it like, well, it was just never going to work out because he was never really seeing her as like, just a full-fledged human. He just was treating her like this special thing that if he could treat this special thing well, it's like that science experiment is the project you do and when you're a kid, when you have to take care of an egg, you know, you ever do that? Yes, I failed it. I'm sure that's a shock. I killed the gigapet. I killed the gigapet too. I kill everything like

that. But yeah, I think you, I think you're right. I think he was doing the thing where it's like, okay, I need to repair my reputation this season. So I'm not only going to like be a good like quote unquote boyfriend to somebody i'm going to do it to somebody in need like yeah it's like emotionally cripple you know what i mean like emotionally um hurt in some way that uh is going to make me look even better like i'll get more points because she's mourning yeah and it's like and and he i think he actually also believes he will be mature if he can do this he will now know that he's mature and we see this with every single fuck boy on all these shows is that they they try to have a very serious relationship where they play house essentially you know what they play house they play house

and that's what they do and and they think for a moment like oh because I'm in this relationship um I am therefore mature and I've grown up and it's like no because the patterns continue on and that this is exactly what happened here but this just had that extra layer of him being like Victoria you're so special Victoria and you're like shut up bro like you're just you're just you're doing this not even because you're really that even attracted to her, I believe. I think you're doing it because you want to just improve yourself image, both to the world and to yourself. Yeah, and

how much could she possibly care, too, because they've been together for five seconds. You know, this whole thing is just magnified because of the dead boyfriend stuff, you know, and also his, like, you're the only one, Victoria. You're the only one for me. I want nobody else. So Nathan is also

getting on my fucking nerves this episode with his like, oh, what a day, Rollercoaster. I don't think I've loved anyone. won this fucking much before, to be totally honest, I can't believe, girl, poor gal, what have I done, gal, gal, gal, you were about to fuck Kizzy five seconds ago. And the only reason you didn't was because the bed wasn't free. So let's stop acting. Like, you've come upon this huge thing too. I thought there was going to have, there was going to be this moment in this relationship where I was going to start rooting for Nathan again. Nope, I'm just rooting for her to run. And I'm so

upset that she got pregnant. Wow. Yeah. Pratchen for her and that was. She went and got pregnant from this guy and then all this other stuff happened, you know, after. It's like, oh, that poor girl, poor gal. Yeah, I actually would, you know, I, you know, I was into this narrative and I would have totally fallen for it because I was really growing to like Nathan this season. But really all his Islamophobia was so off the charts and crazy. It's just like, oh, man, like, oh, you're just trash, aren't you? So I can't root. And also, like, I feel like it wasn't addressed. Like, you ghosted her. You ghosted her for five days. That's so inappropriate. And so. And so. You so wrong. And I don't know why she didn't really grill him about that. Maybe they already had

that grilling. But like, you just, you like, why? You can't do that to someone and then expect them to just take you back just because you keep on saying that you're the, they're the love of your life. I mean, if they were the love of your life, why did you do that? I don't want to hear some cliche story about how your parents got divorced. Your sister, your sister and her fiance broke up. And so therefore you lost your faith in relationships. Come on. Get out of here. I mean, he lost his faith in relationships because the brother-in-law backed away from him after he divorced his sister. So now he's, now he, now he goes people. Oh, come on.

Shut up. What is it? He's like they discontinued Crystal Pepsi so I don't believe in love anymore. No, get over it. Stop drinking Zima, so I'm done with relationships. I just don't trust anybody anymore. What about the Zoon? Who has a great alternative?

And now there are no alternatives. So he's going on and on about, oh, Gail, and this Gail's last night. She's leaving tomorrow. Oh, the amount of emotions just going through my body is now insane. And I want to see if we can try and arrange like meeting up afterwards. I just want to make it work. Yeah, you want to arrange for her to stay where you are. Nowhere in this where you're saying you're going to go where she is.

I noticed. I noticed that too. I was like, why are you not, why is your pitch to say, wherever you are, I'm coming to you? not be like, why are you making her rearrange her schedule and her living situation for you? Yeah, exactly. So then Josh, the fucking clown chef, who I still can't get behind, I don't care what anybody says. He doesn't seem like a mean person. I don't hate him, but I cringe.

I cringe hard. My butt hole cringes. It clenches. And he's like, he sings. He pulls out his guitar and sings an off key. This is a ballad of Nathan and Kell. Will they stay together or will one of them bear? please die please die please die please let this musical career die and the clown career yeah and cut your hair

and shave your mustache it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial so um jo joe jo's finished crying and he's like he you want to come talk with that so he takes her upstairs and she's like are you okay he's like no he goes i do believe i'm a nice person I try and do good in the world, but I've got this sense of like failure, like I failed Victoria and being honest. Do you have that sense of it or is it a teen awareness that you have? You did fail, you fucking loser. That's why you do like that. You know what?

You know what's a really good way to get a sense of failure is failure? I believe that I'm a good person. You're not a good person. Okay. Even believing it is just lying to yourself. Stop. I believe I'm a good person. I believe I am.

I'm just trying. And notice the way for the rest of the episode, especially when, after they break up, every time he frames the situation, he puts himself in this passive mode, which is what all the fuck boys do. They always say like, oh, you're trouble or this is, this always happens to me. He puts himself in the passive mode. And he almost makes himself, he almost makes himself be like a better person. You try, he makes himself sound like a better person. Like he did something noble by, by trying to date the.

and then failing at it. Like, you pushed himself out of his comfort zone as if he, like, went skydiving for the first time. So he goes, like, I was just trying to get that graduate degree, but I couldn't get there. It's like, no, you weren't. I tried. I tried saving all the people from that burning building,

but, oh, my arm was burning. I had to get out of there. I tried pickled herring. I tried to pickled herring for the first time. I wasn't something I normally would like. And I didn't like it, but I tried it. It's like, no, don't get credit. I tried to save the orphans from the bus that was about to crash into the tree.

But then I made off with the kizzy. What can you? I tell you, I've got a penis that won't stop. So they go upstairs to the deck to talk. And he's like, come over here. He's talking all quiet. And he's like all nervous. And he's like, oh, okay.

And everyone's watching downstairs on the closed circuit TV. And he's like, well, you know, you don't have to be all proper about this. Like, it's all good. Like, what's going on? He's like, ah, so, ah, well, ah, because I've got something to say to you. She's like what? I fucked up. As in when you were gone, me and Kizzy, I was super drunk.

We were in the jacuzzi. Jukuzzi sounds like Kizzy. So naturally something's going to happen in there. We were talking and we walked down. And then I kissed her. I put me lips on her lips. That's all that's happened. I can't remember anything, you know?

It's just what I got told. I don't know anything what happens. I don't even know who Kizzy is. Yeah. And he's like, I hate, and meanwhile, Kizzy's watching this on the TV. And everyone's like groaning.

Like, oh my God, why is he doing this? because he promised that he wouldn't do this today. You know, they were, Asia was like, don't do this today. This is a meaningful day. You know, have your moment another day. This is not your day. And of course, he can't help himself.

Yeah, he jumps on it today. And so they're all groaning, watching this. And Kizzy's just rolling her eyes like, oh, geez. And so, and also, I don't know. I think it was the other episode where Kizzy says to Asia, she's like, oh, my God, I don't know what I'm going to tell. I don't know what I'm going to tell her. Like, what,

do I tell V? Asia goes, just tell us sorry I'm a stupid bitch. How about that? Yeah, that was gold. So anyway, he continues on with his monologue and he's like, I hate cheaters, even though we're not in a relationship. I've just got to put that in there. No, we're not in a relationship. But you did say five times, I don't want anyone else. You're all, I'm all in. I'm all in. So I'm not really sure what you call that language, sir. Okay, but it's not a relationship. You were the one selling the dream. Okay. So he's like, I'm not gonna, like, end this in two weeks or whatever. I'm like, this is gonna end in two weeks or whatever. You're too special to lose you, you know?

So over a drunken kiss, I mean, no disrespect to Kizzy, but she means nothing to me. And you're something special that I haven't had for literal years. Ever since that time, I got defrauded by a man and went up eating baguettes in the middle of Spain. So I just feel like I need to say this to you. Forgive me. I was overweight for 10 minutes. I love that Kizzy has to hear over and over in this season. She means nothing to me because she's had to hear from every guy she's tried to bang this season. Well, you know, there was Kizzy, but, ugh, yeah, gross.

Not Kizzy. Really into you. And I just love that she has to sit at home, hopefully with Tommy, cuddling and watching that over and over again. So she's like, okay. And V does the cool girl thing where she's like, okay, like, I, appreciate that. And he's like, okay. She goes, but would you do it sober? So, okay, then if you wouldn't do it sober, then that settles it. Just don't do it again, all right? I mean, like you

were super drunk. Like, what am I going to do? I mean, okay. I was like, what the fuck me? Have some standards. Think about the fact that he did this, not just that he did it, but he did it on the eve of your birthday, on the eve of the anniversary of your boyfriend's death, which is a really important thing and he doesn't know how you're going to react and at worst it'll be a total violation for you and it's going to be a stab on a day where you've already had the biggest stab of your entire life and how cruel that is and you're just going to let him off the hook i was so upset i was like you know what i was trying to do like mental workarounds like you know what though i kind of love that she's like well fuck this guy i don't really care like he's he's all contorted like if she knows it's not serious

she's just going to have fun doesn't care really about this i was like trying to be like maybe this is empowering the way her approach is. But ultimately, I was like, this is shitty. And I was really so happy that she, like, processed and, like, changed course. I actually liked this reaction better. But I wish it had gone a little further. I liked that because, look, she's crying over another guy. She's talking about how much she loves the other guy.

She just spent the whole day on Instagram talking about how much she loves the guy. She just spent today talking about how much she loves the guy, which is right. She's not wrong for doing that. So Joe is just some loser that she's making. out with on a boat. Like I don't think she thinks of it that seriously, but I wish she had been like, okay, listen, I get it. You're a fuck boy. You made out with a girl when you were drunk on a boat, but I don't want to hang out with you either. Like, gross. Instead of being like, okay, it's cool, let's get back to making out and go party. But I think that she would have been, you know,

she would have been able to continue this had he not continued to be an idiot the rest of the day. I mean, they leave this and then they go out and he's still all over Kizzy and Kizzy's still all over him. I mean, those two are fucking shameless. Like they're shameless. Exactly. That is the thing. And I don't know. I just, I wanted her to, I really like your take for what her reaction would have been a really satisfying reaction, which is like, okay, that's fine.

I don't take this seriously, but I also don't appreciate how careless you were with my feelings just now. So bye. because that's ultimately what it was, is that, like, yeah, they might not be in a deep relationship, but like this is, she's like the most vulnerable she's going to be. And she's in such a fragile place. And he doesn't really know how she's going to be. She doesn't know how she's going to be the one year anniversary, the death of the love of her life. And he's going to commit sort of like a big betrayal to her when she's already emotionally vulnerable. And you just don't know how that's going to go.

And as it happens, it wasn't too bad. It was more or less fine, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that at all. And it's just so reckless of him. And it's so inconsiderate and so self-interested. And I think it's just obnoxious. And that's what I wanted her to be upset about. Was that like, wow, you didn't think about how this, how something like this could affect me coming back when I come back to the boat in my most vulnerable state I've ever been in my life.

Yeah, I think it's just tricky with people. It's like you've barely been dating and you know this guy's a piece of shit. And Aisha told you multiple times this guy's a piece of shit. And you still went ahead and did it. So it's like she knew and she'd been warned. So I think she's in a tricky position because if she does get upset and starts crying, it's like, how could you? She looks like a fucking crazy person because why would you be that into?

I mean, even though he just totally did you wrong, it's weird to have to be feeling that deep about someone that you know from everybody else on board is. a fuck boy and did exactly what everybody just told you he was going to do. So I feel like it would be weird of her to freak out. You know what I mean? Like it borders on weird later to me. Borders. I think she handles this whole thing really well, actually. But I think it would have been too much for her to freak out. I just wish she would have dumped him right here and there because the rest of this is just embarrassing. Like easily forgiving him. And I get why she's doing it too, because it's like forgive, forget, you know, I'm not thinking about him anymore. I'm thinking about Bond, whatever.

And they go out, but oh my God, these two, I mean, they just, they show you exactly who they are again. They go out and they're immediately all over each other. So Kizzy tells her in the van, oh, no, no, she's talking to Kathy and her. And she's like, listen, you know, I didn't know Joe spoke to you and I wanted to speak to you earlier. But, you know, I feel like a shit friend. You were a shit friend. like who do you want her to say? Yeah.

So then they go to the other van. This is not the only shit friend thing you did to any of these people on this boat, by the way. Yeah, I mean, yeah. To be fair, at least you're a shit friend to like literally everybody, including yourself. You treat yourself like shit too. And then they go to the van where Joe is. And, you know, he's like, oh, I don't know if I can sleep tonight. Oh, you'll sleep just fucking fine.

I'm sure. So then we go back to Kizzy and V. And she's like, well, I feel like a bit of. a I feel like a bit of a C word. And she's like, well, it's too fucking late now. She goes, well, I'm sorry, though I feel like an asshole. And she's like, well, I don't know if he's taking the blame for you. But he said, I don't remember because everyone had to tell me about it.

Yeah. And Kathy, Kathy is sitting there next to them. And she's like, she has her hands up on the glass on the window. She's like, get me out of this fan. I can't, I don't want to be here anymore. And so, Kizzy's like, yeah, me. kissing Joe and then the guilt that came from it, Joe kissing me. It was just a lot. And V's just like, uh-huh, yeah, Joe kissing me. So Kathy's just like in total hell with these two. And Kizzy's

now doing this whole thing of like, I just wish I had to speak to you. I wish I could have spoken to you. I wish I could have told you. And V's like, well, why don't we talk about it? Like that was the one thing I was like, hey, could we like not do that? Like that was the one thing we talked about. I know, I'm really sorry about that. I'm just really, really sorry. But, you know, we were both really drunk. And, you know, again, we saw a clip in here somewhere where there really was a scene where Victoria was like, please don't go after my guy, Jolene.

But Kizzy's afterwards, you know, Kizzy, they get to the bar and everything. And Kizzi and Joe talked to compare notes. And she was like, he took it like a champ. She believed her whole story. And he's like, oh, well, we're going to still be friends. regardless of what happens because yeah I hope so. Also, I think the way that Kizzy's thinking of it is like I had my claws in this guy's first and then you came along and then you went for this guy.

So I had him first. So he was. That's also because she calls dibs on everyone. But she calls dibs on everybody. Yeah, exactly. Because it's like she didn't have him first because he got on the boat at the same time. Like they both met him at the same time. Right.

But she was like hitting on him first. Well, maybe she went some. mind. But in her mind, I'm saying, I feel like she probably feels like that. She feels that way, 100%. She feels like, or she feels like she's entitled to have a shot as well. Like she didn't get her date. She didn't get her one-on-one date with The Bachelor. So she feels like she's entitled to have that moment. Yeah, because she did it with Max too. Remember when, uh, Kathy's like, oh, I like Max. I like Max. And then Kizzy jumps on Max in the hot tub and makes out with him. And it's like, um, I just told you I like Max. You know, she's like, but I had an energy with Max.

you know, she jumps on, she jumps on him first. So she's like, well, I already had dibs on Max. Yeah. Yeah. She's pretty obnoxious, I have to say. Yeah. So everyone's dancing. Everyone's having fun. And Nathan is just like love bombing gal.

You know, he's like, I love you. I love you so much. I can't imagine life without you. It's almost like, you know, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever met. And I just can't. Like you're the most, the thing that I love the most in this world. And she's like, okay, okay.

So, you know, he's basically, She's like, are you for real? Are you, feel, like, oh, I've got fucking, I'm like, like, well, how long is the question? How long before you bail on me? He's like, forever. I swear to God, I love you forever, girl. Yeah, and she's crying, you know, and he's monk herring all over her.

And then we go to Max and Kathy kissing, and Joe and Victoria are flirting. Kind of. He's like, Victoria, I've got a hat on, your hat. Look at that. Why do I want the hat? And she kisses him, and she's like, I'm the full package. baby. And they start kissing and I start booing and shitting them. I know. I'm posting babies on Instagram. Putting my shirtless selfies on Instagram. I'm just breaking on my own rules. So Gail and Nathan

go outside and Nathan's like, you have no idea how seeing you has made me feel. She's like, I 100% believe you. That's how you feel. But the thing is, you felt that way before. It's like, but I generally cannot connect emotionally to anyone like I have with you. Like honestly, I don't know. Like when we met, I had my mind made up, you know? Honestly, I love your to bits. I'm in love with your girl. I love you again. She's like, oh, if you met, if you met and you had your mind made up, then why did you

ghost her? That doesn't make any sense. Exactly. So she's like, oh, but I've hated you. And the second I broke down my walls, you hurt me so much. And not only did you hurt me the first time you hurt me again and again. And he will do it again. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Why do I have to drive my fucking anti-violet? van to a fucking yacht to save all of you people. You should know better than this. This is 2026. Have you read no books? Have you watched no TV shows? These are fuck boys.

Below deck has been on for 19 years. Like 37 years, okay? This show predates all of you. You should know better. It's a show about men who cannot deal with permanence, which is why they go onto a boat and sail around the world and do not have to deal with the everyday rigors of beings. being in the same place called a house or an apartment.

So, yeah, so he's now a girl. And the girl is the sea. So I'm doing my, I'm doing my Nathan thing, which is that when he tells a story, he leans forward onto his knees and he bobs his head left and right. He's like, yeah, a year ago, I had self-sabotaged myself and Gail's relationship. Because everyone I've ever loved was pulled away. My parents' relationship ended. So my dad pulled away.

My older sister and her fiance's relationship ended. So they pulled away. Also, I used to love getting Mrs. Butterworths, but now I haven't been able to find it in stores. She pulled away for me too. Molly McButter, great seasoning. Gone. Where's love?

Yeah. So she wants to believe him, but it's only been three days and she doesn't want to be naive. And he's like, well, we were made for each other. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this girl, but it's not up to me. So he's just like whining and moping and she's crying. And then inside, V and Joe are kissing while everybody's dancing.

And Kathy is telling V, oh, you guys have never looked closer. And she's like, yeah, he was like really straight up and like honest about it. But for like Kizzy, I feel like she specifically talked about this situation with me and she still did it. And so we see a flashback of that. And then by the way, I just want to say, as a student of Love Island and various other TV shows, If you're the second one in, it's not even a Love Island thing. This is actually something we've observed many times than Real Housewives. If two people have done something shitty together that affects a third person,

the second person to have the conversation about it is the villain because you're just, you're too late. So even if they're both equally complicit and equally contrite, if your conversation number two, you're going to get hit with the shit stick. Think about real housewives of Orange County when, um, what was it that? It was that Heather and Emily had both said that they don't trust Tamara. So Emily tells Tamara this first, like, I just want you to know. I'm just being honest with you. I said, I don't trust you. And then Heather's like, I don't trust you. But Heather was the one who Tamara got mad at the most because Heather told Tamara second. So in this case, you have Joe. If

Kizzy had gone to be first. I guarantee, I don't guarantee, but I think that Joe would be in a lot more shit than Kizzy is. And the lesson is, don't let someone go on the apology tour before you. Yeah, always be the first to apologize. And anyone with the sibling, anyone with a sibling knows that,

you know, anyone, you know, who's ever fucked up and, like, tried to, that's how you blame your sister for shit. You have to go first. Otherwise, you're always the villain. That's why my sister is always in parental jail, prison because I always beat her, even though I was always the one doing shit wrong.

You have to be first because the first one gets like the, um, gets the badge of being honest and forthright. Like they came forward first and the other one doesn't get that credit. If anything, it's like, oh, well, you only said something because the first person said something. Even if it was rearranged,

as it actually was, they told, I think Aisha told Kizzy or someone told Kizzy, listen, let Joe do have the conversation first. Then you have the conversation. But then, and I'm not standing up for Kizzy, but I'm just saying it's sort of funny.

like Kizzy gets burned by this because you know, because here V is like, okay, I'll let Joe off the hook, but Kizzie, she's the real problem. They both should be in the problem zone. I'm just saying. Yeah, but, you know, and I've thought that when I was watching this too, like, okay, so now, of course, it's good, the girl's fault,

right? Because it's like, it's the fuck boy, but you're going to go after the girl. You know, even though they're equally culpable. But I think it's fair to go after the girl because they were friends. And that's, they're friends. They're friends. And that's different than a boy.

Like, girls know the boys suck, right? So they should always be able to bond together. And like, the guys are the ones that suck, but we should be there for each other. I think it hurts more when it's like a friend who does that to you than a boy. Because you expect it from someone like, yeah. But yeah, fuck kissy. That an exclusive conversation. Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck Izzy for sure. I'm just saying it's so funny how like, you know, you got to be first. You might as well just not even bother apologizing. Yeah, you're right. Because it's never going to be accepted. It's a life lesson. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. So now she goes outside and Kizzy and Joe are like dancing. They're like doing ballroom dancing practice. And he's lifting her up and shit. And they're flirting and giggling. And V's like, yeah, if I were Joe, I'd be walking on eggshells. Like, what the fuck? No, you just showed, you just lied down and wrote welcome all over your chest.

they're not going to treat you with respect now. Like that's just not how to being cool and forgiving shit is not how to earn respect. Like you need to watch more prison movies. You need to shank a bitch because you need to shank two bitches because you do. Yeah, you just show them that you can be walked over and now they're going to literally do this in front of your face. The nerve of people. The fucking nerve. Like Joe's priority tonight is you are by V's side.

You are puppy dog, whatever she needs. that's it you you're like you are with her you're holding whatever bag she needs to hold you were getting her all the drinks you were treating her like a princess but what happens is not only are they dancing whatever after they're done dancing joe and kizzy have this conversation where they're very close to each other and he keeps on saying this this kind of bullshit like regardless of what happened your friendship is very very important and she's like i love having you my life and i want to keep you my life as a mate and i think that we've got a great friendship and there's no point in ruining that He's like, yeah, Victoria, she's cool, you know, and you're too cool, you know.

Wait, wait, I have to stop you. Because while they're doing this, V literally comes up behind him and grabs his butt and passes like really close to them. And they're doing this right in front of her. And he's like, Victoria, oh, yeah, she's cool. But you're too cool. You're too cool. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he says she's cool, but you're too cool. You are more interested in reiterating, like, that you want to keep this friendship going. You know, well, obviously we know what it really is. is like I'm keeping an option in my back pocket. But like he would defend it as saying like, no, I really like her. She's like a mate. She's like a friend. But what it reads to me like is that he is putting more energy into making sure his

friendship with Kizzy is still okay than he is with making sure his situation with Victoria is on. He doesn't care about his friendship with Kizzy. He's still going to fuck Kizzy later. I know. But like, but he should not be happy with this conversation with her right now. Like why are you sitting here talking here? Like, like, analyzing the status and prognosis of your friendship.

Yeah. So he's like, well, I think you're me in girl form. And she says, oh, people say you get sent the girl a boy version of you to bring you karma. I'm your karma. You're each other's karma. You're both fucking disgusting. Good luck with the rest of your lives.

So now it's time to go back to the boat. And Kathy and Max are making out in the van, which I can't even, I can't even spare the time for right now. Max drives me nuts. I'm sorry. Max, annoyed me. The perfume he was on the show. He annoys me the second time. Like, he is just, I like Kathy so much.

And I can't stand that she's into this guy. He is the biggest twirp. He's so annoying. Oh, my God. I don't like watching the makeup. So, um, so Kathy, Max, Joe and V are in a van.

And Max is like, oh, I was really scared for you to leave the boat, Cassie. And I want to spend emotion to all you because I was peterside. Joe, do you remember how mad I was? Yeah, you were mad because you had to work.

I remember. Yeah, that's what it was. You weren't mad that you, that you couldn't be there to console Kathy. You were mad that you had to move chairs around at a lighthouse. No, man. He's like, I was deeply frustrated with Nathan before, but that really put like the shit on the cake, you know, for the rest of the season. I'm going to prioritize the happiness of Cathy. Yeah, for her as a boozee soon.

Can we not talk about shit on the cake after we just dealt with a whole shit cake after we just had with a whole shit cake? Yeah. Too soon. Thank you very much. Too soon, babe. So bedtime and Kathy makes a little fort for her and Max. And she goes, you know this doesn't mean we're shagging, right? And he's like, yeah, we are more intelligent than this. And then they go in and you just see the the sheet blowing back and forth and here like pound a pound a pound a pound shit on cake. She's on cake. Ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro. Um, so they're having sex. And then Nathan and Gail go into like he convinced her to go into a guest cabin. And then via. At this point, we see V and Joe go into their cabin, but now the ick is starting to settle in for her at long last. And she's like, I'm really hot. Can you sleep on the upper bunk? So she doesn't let him sleep in the same bed,

which is, I think, more awkward than the show gave credit for. Like, that's kind of a, that was kind of a, that's significant, I think. Yeah. And then Nathan and Gail go to the guest cabin and they're talking and more the same shit. He's like, don't leave. Please, I can't do it. Would you stay in Europe? Barcelona, please.

As they make up. And now the next morning, everyone, listen, can I just say, I have no respect for literally anybody on this boat right now. Kathy's better than Max. Although Kathy deserves it, she just had a huge loss in her family. I don't blame her for letting off a little steam.

But still, gross. Nathan and Gal, Gail, it's really tough to root for you. Nathan's a piece of shit. And then Kizzy and Joe and V, like all of it. of just this season needs to end. It's episode 15 and is showing no signs. End it.

End it. I love this season. I think it's so good, but I'm at the point where I'm at the point where I want everybody to be drowned over. What everybody. I want everybody, that's a bad choice of words because of what actually happened in the show. Sorry,

I didn't mean it like that. But I want everybody kicked off the boat at this point. Yes. Yeah. Into a deep dream. I am into it. I have no respect for a majority of these people, but I'm really, really into it.

I think I'm just in such a place of like, I know how dark things can get on this show, aka I remember last season of Below Deck that was so wretched. Like the probably the, I think it was the very worst season of Blow Deck I've ever seen of any franchise. And so for me, I'm just so happy to have like a really good, solid season of Below Deck Med.

It's just like hitting me just right. Like I love it. Like I'm so into. the season. I'm into like as we sit here like like being like fuck kizzy fuck jo like I'm just like smiling on the inside like oh it feels so good to say these things I feel these things about a below deck episode so um yeah I'm into for me it's crash the butt just crash it so they all start waking up in the morning and kathy's like what are you laughing at he's like oh because I'm happy I really like you oh so now we go to aisha and kizzie's and asha's asking what happened

And Kizzy's like, well, I spoke to V, and she was actually, like, so fine about it. I mean, I'm sure it still wasn't nice, but... Nailed it. Really? Really? Well, good on you for telling her then. And now we go to V and Joe in the cabin, and Joe's like, can I calm down? Can I have sex yet? She's like, okay. He's like, what's up? She goes, well, I've decided I'm going to talk to Kizzy again because I forgave her last night. but I think forgiveness was granted too easily. So V is basically saying that she didn't,

last night she didn't want to feel hurt about it. She thought like, you know, maybe it was an ego thing or whatever. I think, you know, she basically like I just, she clearly just wanted up a fun time. She did not want to have drama. But then she started to think about it and she realized there's like a lot of underlying layers. And she's like, you know, people say like you're not your words, you're your actions.

And that clearly speaks volumes to me, which is funny because I said, speaking is really not as important as actions. But you know, you get what I'm trying to say here. So, Joe's, she's like, what are you afraid to say? Was it an accident? And he's like, yeah, yeah, it was an accident. It was an accident. So Aisha is talking to Sandy and she dropped something.

And Sandy's like, oh, God. She goes, I'm going to do the floors. Don't worry. She's like, do I seem worried? Do I seem worried? Come on. We got the dream team. Yeah.

Dream team. So Vee leaves Joe's cabin and Nathan and Gail come out and Gail's packing up her stuff. And Aisha sees Nathan and he's like, I'm not okay. She's just so amazing. Oh, God. Oh, God. So now Gail is time to say goodbye. So she's saying goodbye to everybody and everybody's crying.

And everybody's so sad she's leaving. Which, by the way, she might be brought right back on this boat because Max continues to up. So I wouldn't be surprised if they just you turned her right around and brought her back. They actually should have just, they actually really should have just done that. Because Aisha, Asia's like, God, I wish Gail would stay longer. Everyone wishes Gail was staying longer. And Sandy is like, oh God, thank God, Gail was available. She could just pop right in, okay? She just did us a solid and I'm just so grateful. I wish I had another cabin the keeper.

Well, I wish I had two cabins. One for Gail and one for little bear. Oh, God, I love that dog. I got to see him on my phone. And Gail's telling us, Oh, in such a short amount of time, Nathan's definitely broken down my walls. Which is kind of funny terminology because you know he's like a big proponent of the wall. And Nathan's like, oh, see us soon.

And I think we're supposed to be feeling things. But all I feel is like, oh, God, she's pregnant with this man. Oh, God. The baby's coming. Baby on board. Baby bosun. Yeah, you step on these boats and you never know when the next time you're going to see each other. Could be in a year, could be in a month, could be in two weeks, could be in three days, could be in, I don't know, two weeks and tenders.

Okay, Gail, we get it. You just don't know when you're going to see him again. Just go. Just go. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening.

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