Watch What Crappens - 3155 The Valley Persian Style S1e01 2 Valley Of The Dools

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

It’s the big double premiere of The Valley: Persian Style!  Join us for a breakdown of all the characters and drama across the first two episodes. Next week we begin proper detailed recaps of the show. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch our crap in the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the glorious valley dweller himself, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How's it going? Well, hello, Ben. The valley Lebanese style. That's right. Are you excited to talk about some of your neighbors today as we dive into the premiere event surrounding? Yeah, hell yeah. Some valley action going, baby.

Yeah. Before we do that, a reminder in case you'd miss the big news, that tickets for the Golden Crappies went on sale today. They are going to be on February 27th in Los Angeles at the Fonda Theater. It's going to be a wild and amazing time. And we want you to be there. We want you to be there. It's going to be a fun experience at night.

We always have the best time. So come make it. Let's sell this thing out. Okay, let's do it. Let's make this bigger and better than ever before. keep an eye out for solicitations for building this ballot. And then, of course, there will be the ballot building the ballot itself. So it's going to be all sorts of stuff over the next several weeks leading up to the golden

crappies. We cannot wait. So go get your tickets. The ticket link is both on our website and on our socials. So you'll just find it everywhere. And you can just Google or just go to Henry Fonda Theater. Whatever you need to do, get your tickets. Also, if you do go to Patreon, we have an additional.

addition to our normal offerings, we now offer ad free. We formally had ad free on a whole other platform, but now everything is consolidated in the same place. So if you want ad free, watch our crap ins. It is there on our Patreon. And one last Patreon mention, which is that we do our weekly bonus episode. And this week, we are talking about the traders. And whoa, I stayed up until four in the morning watching the traders. And I had to because it's the traders. I watched all those episodes. And I loved it.

This new season is off to such an amazing start. It's an amazing cast. It erases last season, which no last season had its good parts. But like, let's be honest, we all knew last season's cast was not the best. But now we are so back, baby. So we're going to talk about episode one on our bonus episode this week. That's all my announcements. Anything you'd like to announce, Ronnie?

That's it. Nailed it. Nailed it. Yes. All right. So let's let's talk about the Valley. So now the way the Valley premiered was absolute torture to Bravo commentators because they did not just put out an episode. And they did not just put out a supersized episode. They put out an episode and a supersized episode in one night. So the same night that three episodes of the traders dropped like to also add and Beverly Hills. Yeah. So we're not going to go. granular on this. We're not going to be here for another 10 hours today. We just wanted to talk basically about the show, kind of get it set up for everybody, because I think we are going to have a lot of fun recapping this show, but it's a lot of content. So we want to get through it and just kind to tell you guys what it's about, what's going on, who's on it, whatever. If you want to hear the trailer thoughts and the preview, you can find that on our Patreon. We did a trailer trash of that.

So that was fun. So let's get into it. So we've got the some of the cast of Shaw's back. For those of you who didn't watch shaws shaws was a great show a lot of drama gets really dark it's just group of friends they go really low with each other especially reza um j gj but put on the screen mj the three they're big watch a lot yeah i mean this is a toxic group if there ever was one people always are like oh the valley so toxic oh man i'm from pool so toxic people forget that shah's the sunset was doing toxicity first okay and they do it big time so uh we're going to go through this cast i I put the pictures up on our, on the screen here. If you're watching with Crappins on demand,

so you can see who we're talking about any given moment because a whole bunch of new characters. But yeah, Reza, Reza, Reza is our king toxic leader, you know, here on the show. And he's back with Adam. And so far, there's not much going on with them in terms of, I don't think they have too much storyline happening. They're just more like, it's the first two episodes were very much like, see, everything is good between us. Adam isn't as affectionate with me as he could be, which is like the same story they had for 10 years on Shaz.

But I think the big development here is that Adam has some sort of tabooly recipe that he loves to tow it around. And like every scene is like, I brought my tabooly. He practically has a tabooly in his pocket. He gives it away like gum to children.

That's so Persian. And we do open with a whole like, oh my God. Persians are so crazy. Let me tell you about Persians. After the Islamic Revolution of 1979, I was like, oh, God, here we go. This is the first line. It's like, here we go.

Everything is Persian. Sidewalks, that is so Persian. Persian people don't like their children walking on grass. It's definitely like the Reza special. So, yeah, the whole thing opens up with the original Shaz, kind of giving a lay of the land. know, it's like Reza and Gigi and MJ. And they're all talking about why they moved to the valley. I was like for a TV show.

Although MJ had already moved to the valley. But last we had seen, Res and Adam were living sort of like an Atwater village or Glendale. They were not in the valley necessarily. But Gigi has also- Is Calabasasas considered the valley? I think it might be considered, I'm not sure. Calabas is as far as fuck.

I think that's where MJ lives. Yeah, it is. It's valley-ish. I think it might be considered, no, I don't know, is I'll look. You know what, let's ask. Let's ask. Yeah, ask if Calabasasas is considered Valley. But yeah, she moved out there a while ago.

And then I guess Reza and Adam moved out there. And Gigi is going to move out there for the, you know, probably for the show or whatever. Calabasas is considered part of the San Fernando Valley. Well, they caught the end of it. That's crazy. The valley is humongous. How big is not. So they're out there now.

She's still with Tommy. Res is still with Adam. Gigi has a baby now, but she's still, you know, being crazy. She's already been divorced. She had another marriage that lasted two weeks. She's still insane and probably going to threaten to murder a lot of people because that was her thing. Like she carried knives and she was like, do you want my knives, motherfucker? And would always be threatening people.

Now, the show when it got canceled was dark. I mean, there was a big war between Gigi, not Gigi. Well, yeah, Gigi and Reza versus MJ, but mostly Reza and MJ. And it just got really, really, really bad. It was screaming like, why don't you, you know, talk about your 10 abortions, bitch? And like, it was really ugly. It got really hard to watch. And then Mike, who was the resident fuckboy on that show, just went down a very dark path as the years went on.

It got worse and worse until finally he was arrested for domestic abuse, domestic assault. Yeah. So I think he's probably ultimately the reason. and the show got canceled because it got so dark. I think he is. Well, the question, it was,

it was dark, the show got dark, but then there was actually a post dark season that just was flat. And there was one of those unfortunate, you know, pandemic seasons. Like a lot of our Bravo shows had rough seasons during lockdown. And they just,

they had a hard time getting the narrative going. And it was like, their final season was actually after that super dark season. and that was Reza trying to mend fences with MJ and that was the season where he spent the entire time being like, I still haven't met baby Shams. I just want to meet baby Shams for an entire season. And then there was that lady who had the little hat

that would join along with things. It was, it was a dull, dull season. And that was you also had, what's his face? What was the guy, the teeth guy? Nima. Nima. Oh, my God. Yeah, they kept. trying to kind of recast it and get it working and add people and the new additions weren't really

working out. And, you know, it was still a good show, but it had, you know, it, it looked like it was kind, yeah, it was kind of running its course. And then the mic thing happened. And it was like, the end. So I guess the question coming back was like, how are they going to do this? Well, you've got three of the OGs. You're going to have to re you know, it's basically a new show. You got to reboot it. And how are you going to do it? Because the cast is hard to get this cast. right because they're all good friends that was the whole point of the cast they all knew each other they all naturally hung out together

so how are you going to kind of recreate that and I think overall they did a pretty good job I mean I think the casting is really good job I was surprised because casting was one of their roughest things on the original show you know what because part of it also was I think the other show

was burdened with the idea that it had to be about these crazy shots you party all night long. All they do is party. When they get together, they party. And they went down the Vanderpump Rules path, which is that they sort of all grew up. And it just kind of, and they were also talking to each other. And it just kind of like crumbled. And then, but now with the valley, just as with the original Valley, they're able to kind of hit reset on what the tone of the show is and what

it's about. And it's really successful, I think. I think that they brought in some really interesting people and with fascinating dynamics. I love a show. where you have all these different couples who hate each other. I mean, like, we just are, it's really not about who is going to get divorce. It's when will they only get divorced, except for the there's that one couple that

seems to be pretty good. That guy, he seems pretty sweet. They're like the Danny and the Nia of this cast. That is Amir and Amir and Natasha. They seem like they're in like pretty good shape, but you never know. It's reality

TV. That could all fall apart. But Everyone else, it's like, oh, oh, this is a nice couple. Oh, they hate each other. Oh, that's too bad. Okay, well, let's meet this couple. Oh, they hate each other. Oh, their marriage is built on a car accident and nothing more. Okay, yeah, that's going to fizzle.

Let's meet this. Just everyone has relationships about. Yeah, they really lean into the formula of the valley being couples that hate each other and the friends that have to deal with them. And it works pretty well. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapance commercial So we start, yeah, like we said a while ago, we start with Res and Adam.

Reza's thing is he was traumatized when Shaw's ended. He was like, oh my God, I would like wander the streets of Hollywood and be like, I'm not a Shaw anymore. Who am I? Who even am I? Like, I was so worried I was going to end up some 75 year old queen like with a cigarette and a turban. Like these were my hey days, you know, boys. There's still time.

Like, why are we pretending that? Why are we pretending that you were just handed a 10-year contract? There's still time, sir. Okay. Do you think Reza is jealous that that Derinda got a second shot on the traders after she was voted off first? But, like, he did not. Like, everyone was like, you have, like, that's, Dorinda has to be brought back. Like, it's not fair that she got voted off before her first roundtable.

But like, Reza, Reza just no groundswell for Reza. He's like, I really had to live with that. It was really hard. It was so difficult. So we've got him and Adam. You know, one of the main characters in the Valley is the real estate. And I have to say, yikes. Oh, my gosh.

Reza's home. I've felt so bad for Reza. I don't know if they just got this home because they were starting to film immediately. But, you know, Reza has kind of like a tacky thing going on anyway. But his tacky is more like, you know, laughing kind of set, like the laughing set or like 16. You know, fun 60s, like shiny wallpaper, shiny geometric wallpaper from the 70s. You know, he likes that. Stuff like that.

This is like really bad countertops. And, yeah, most of it, I was just like, ew, most of these houses are gross. Yeah. The houses were, some of the houses were not amazing. Adam apparently spends a lot of his time gardening in the back. But again, like these two right now, like, they're not, they don't really have a strong storyline. And that's actually okay.

Actually, like, I feel like we've seen. all the storylines. I'm happy for Reza to play this role where he sits down Gigi and he starts to talk to her about her credit. I actually really like that. He's like, okay, we need to talk about your credit because if you want to get a new house, you need to have credit. And then Gigi like flips out because Gigi is up to the same Gigi things, which is, I guess I'll just segue us into to Gigi before we get to MJ. Gigi has decided that she wants to buy a new house. She's talking like she wants to be independent, but she's not doing anything to be independent. And they are all obsessed with talking about her bad credit.

They all love talking about it. And I actually think that's so funny. They're like, do you see Gigi has like bad credit? She's not going to be able to buy a house. And they're like, oh my God, she has bad credit. They like talk about it at a party. And then MJ is like, Gigi, just so you know, before you got in here, we were all talking about your bad credit. They're all still up to their same old nonsense, you know.

M. I know. I still like, yeah, we're talking about your terrible. credit. By the way, MJ was wearing like a lace up the front pleather ice skating S&M dress to it like a family dinner. It's like, what is this show? I was cracking up. So yeah, Reza is the realtor for Gigi. And Gigi's like, well, I need to stop living up my father. Like, it's so hard. And of course, she's not going to. And she's looking and cannot find a place. Because first of all, she wants everyone thinks they're going to move to the valley and it's going to be

cheap. That is just not the case. It's still Los Angeles. You're still going to be paying out the ass. And so she wants like $15 million homes. And that's just one can happen. She wants a six bedroom. One bedroom for her child and the other bedrooms for her clothing. And basically Reza and MJ, everyone's saying to her, look, like, babe, you got a downsize. Like you just, you want a new house? Bitches be checking credit. Okay. Bitches be running credit checks. So, uh, Gigi's big retort. is Steve Harvey says one time in your life, you need to buy a first class ticket so you know what to aspire to. I'm like, yes.

And she's like, that's why I'm not going back. That's why I'm getting this house. I'm not going to downsize because Steve Harvey said I should get a first class ticket. I'm like, yeah, but Steve Harvey doesn't say you should buy a mansion and always stay at that level. The point is you're supposed to taste the good life and then work for it after you've had your taste. you're just basically saying I'll take everything in the store please I'll have the full tasting menu

okay the big difference here is that Steve Harvey has a job okay he's not talking about what your dad is going to buy you he's not like once your dad buys you a first first class plane ticket you never let him buy you anything less I'm just like yeah I'm not going to downsize Steve Harvey said it's like oh my god

she's completely she's completely misconstrued that piece of advice there so she is doing and also honestly Gigi is so exhausting I will say that like it's fun to see Gigi back but I'm immediately exhausted by her just her her tantrums

the way she storms out. I'm like oh gosh, yes this is this is Gigi again. It's like it's not it's not always the most entertaining for me to watch. Yes, one of her biggest story. You know she's already wanting to murder half the cast and like jump on them. And they go have a girl's night to have, you know, it's like, oh my God, we're on a new show. We're girls. Let's have a girl's night.

They go, the girls all hate each other. There's like two girls who like each other. They kind of hate Gigi. They really hate Gigi. Gigi hates them. It's not going to go well. One of them is a jeweler. Well, she's a jewelry designer.

And Gigi was missing some diamonds in her ring. So she gave her this ring to fix it. And then the lady just never gave back the ring. And so Gigi's like, she still has my ring. And that's like a really, like, like, What is she trying to do to my ring? And it becomes this huge thing where she's going to beat this woman over a ring. And it's like, girl, you didn't pay for that ring anyway.

Come on now. You didn't pay for it anyway. And so the whole thing is, so this actually takes us to Sky, who I actually love. I think Sky, for me, is a breakout star, Sky and Bomshod. And so Sky is the jewelry designer. And what we then find out is that Sky, she's a designer. And she's like, I'm a designer. I don't do fix-its.

I don't do that. I did it. I did their favor by just welcoming the ring into my life and giving it to a friend. But I don't fix things. So she's like, whatever. So she finally, they keep on hounding her like, are you bringing the ring? Are you bringing the ring? Are you bringing the ring? At the ring coming? Is the ring coming?

So she finally brings the ring back. And then Gigi's like, I took one look at it. And I could see she was using fake. She was using the wrapper off of a godiva chocolate. That's basically accusing Sky of like doing some shitty thing. And I looked at both pictures and I swear I could not tell any difference between the, the revisoring and the original. And I'm not saying that they're, I'm not saying that Gigi was wrong.

I'm just saying to my untrained eyes, it looked, they looked exactly the same. Yeah, especially for a free job. Like, shut up. And so this lady's sky is, I think my favorite too, because she seems evil. She gives off total evil vibes, snoddy. She hates everybody. She hates it. She hates the valley.

She hates her husband. She's married to an old dude. Her bombshot is an older man. And they met when she was pretty young. So she was one of those people. who marries someone really old and then starts dressing like a first lady. Like she does her hair. Like if you look at this picture of her, she looks like his first lady hair.

And so she's like, well, I'm first lady too because I do my hair like this, because I'm married to an old man. And it's like, oh, no. So you know she's going to be an asshole. She's like, I'm married to an old person. So I'm going to get the attitude of somebody who's earned it like they are old, but she's not old. And so it's not really working. She hates crumbs on the counter. I think she yells at about six different.

people for like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no crumbs on the counter. They also have these two twins that I love their twins. They're so cute. It's like, they're like fraternal twins. It's a boy and a girl. And the girl has this little Bob, it's like Dora the Explorer Bob. And I don't know why I love these two twins. But their whole thing is that she sleeps in a different room from Bombshot because he snores

really loudly. And apparently he does a thing where he gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. And when he gets back into bed, he like cascades down. and spreads out in a big and annoying way, and she hates it. He just like plops down in the middle of the bed, breathes right in her face. And she's like, no, no, no. And she's best friends with this other lady whose name is Tannin. Tannin. I forget how you pronounce it.

And I only watched us 10 hours yesterday. I'm sorry to allow to pronounce it to Tannin. So she's best friends with Tannen, and they have the most incredible bond, because they have that thing in common that's so hard to find. But once you have it, you're bonded for life. And that is the hatred of your husband. They both hate their husbands. And so they're like best friends.

And they're like, fuck our husbands. They go travel together. They both, they both, doesn't she also sleep in a separate room from her husband? They both sleep in separate rooms. But like she and her husband have a really fascinating backstory. And like as it starts to kind of reveal itself, you're like, oh, this is, this is interesting. which is that Tannen and Greg were both like partiers back in the day. They were like,

there were like those people that you see at clubs. Like, you know, they're in some sort of relationship. They're probably like do coke in the bathroom. They have sex behind the dumpster. You know, they're just like party. They're in like a party relationship,

but they're together. But they like each other. But what we find out in the second episode is that they go to D.C. to visit someone and they're picked up by like this guy. And they're in two cars because they're with a group because they're probably just, it's probably a bunch of people. go party in DC for the weekend. And the guy, so Tannen's in one car, Greg's in the car behind.

And Greg is watching his girlfriend's car. And he's like, wow, this guy driving is like crazy. He needs to stop driving like that. And the guy like at that moment, the car flips. And she basically comes extremely close to death. Like she has to have a brain surgery where normally like you would lose ability to talk, et cetera. And, uh, and he was like, oh my God, oh my God.

but I love this woman. And so to me, it seems obvious that this great accident may have, like, accelerated the timeline of their relationship where it was like, it was like it provided a certain amount of closeness, this trauma. But now they're kind of in a point where they, I think they realize they don't have as much in common as anymore. And they're trying to navigate that. They just don't like each other.

I mean, they flat out seem to just not like each other at all. He's like a, you know, he's okay looking like he's not bad. But he, in his mind, he's like, this stud, you know, and he's like, oh, I could have had any woman I wanted. He's that kind of thing. Like, I mean, maybe it wouldn't have worked out with her, but we got trauma bonded, so it is what it is. And she's like, yeah, I never would have given this guy the time of day. Like, I never would have thought any more deeply of him had I not, you know, had brain damage, basically is what she said. So it was interesting. And so, and they, you know, and it seems,

like, like a, like a partner. Yeah. And the vibes they give off at first. And so, and they, first are like, well, you know, she seems like, oh, she seems like kind of cold to him, you know. And but then you find, then you see him in a scene together and you see why. So they have the scene where she makes dinner and he's like, wow, look at you cooking. I remember when you used to cook? So it starts off like that, which is like, fuck you. Okay. So yeah, they're having this nice dinner. And he's like, so have we talked about you like going out? Because like you go out with your friends all the time. And I really don't like that because you're putting yourself in a position where you can meet dudes and you can get numbers from dudes. And I just don't like that. That's not

respectful in a marriage. And she's like, okay, we're going to have this discussion again. Like, okay, we, you don't mind going out and you literally get numbers from girls that call you at two in the morning. And he's like, oh, no, that's just because I was being nice to some girl. Like, we were out or was out with my friends. So I was nice to a girl. So what? So she called me. So for him, it's funny and okay. But then she still has a life with his girlfriends. And he's going to try and quash it because she could get numbers from people. So he's already a hypocrite and a piece of shit. So he's already pissed me off in this.

So I'm totally team Tannin divorcing this goober of a man. Team Tannan. I really like Tannen. She seems very smart. She is like a she's she's a CEO of a company. And she's also launching her own skin care or something another, which is I'm wondering if they're setting us up for a Tannin and Sky Rift because they start the season being like, we are so close, which is always because I'm

the death. And the first, like, crack is that Tannen brings over her product for Sky to use and Sky takes the product and rubs it all over her dog. And Tannen's like, um, thanks. This is a national platform and you're supposed to show up how good this is and you put it on your dog instead. But yeah, I think this guy like Greg, like we've seen worse pigs, you know, in the world, especially on Bravo, but I thought it was so hypocritical. He tells the story. He's like, you can't go out because I don't want guys to get your number. But when the story that he tells is that there's literally he's like well I had to be nice this girl she asked for my number and then she texted him at two in the morning saying are you up and he's like no but I showed it to you remember

I showed it you be like isn't this funny it's like and she and I what I left by Tanna was like I wasn't upset about that honestly I just am upset that you don't think that I also have that same like like sense of judgment which is where his right because he was getting himself all works up and pissed off at her and he's like oh really so now it's a problem that that girl texted me even though I showed you and she's like no the point is it wasn't a problem It's a problem for you that I'm going at. You know, she's trying to explain it. And she's like, listen, our communication.

She says at some point something like, yeah, we have communication points because I don't want to communicate with you. And I'm happy not communicating with you. And just that honesty. And I don't feel bad for him because if this is how he communicates, it's like, that's his communication. It's like accusing her of shit that hasn't happened. So, and fuck this guy.

And, you know, you're right when you say he's not really that bad. in the scheme of in the whole map of Bravo men like is he the worst no but this is this is episode one this is episode not great one and she tries to communicate with him yeah she tries to communicate with him and he like kind of shuts her down i mean this guy is basically you know you look at him and i i'm imagining that this guy was like a club promoter at some point you know you look we've seen so many these guys around hollywood they're like oh i'll get you i'll get you a table i'll get you a table you wants about like like I just don't feel like he's going this is going to be a high caliber person here. Yeah.

She's great. I love her. He's in a position where he probably feels emasculated because she makes all the money we find out because he's in. There's like a guy seeing all the guys get together and invite Adam for whatever reason. Adam's like, oh my God, those dogs are too big. I can't with big dogs. Please. Please keep the dogs away from me.

I'm like, go home. I love that. I was like. The dogs aren't doing anything to you. That was me. I was like, the dog's licking me. He's like, no, no. Just get out of my house.

Like, it's fucking a guy's night of all places. So anyway, there's a guy's night. And they're talking about how Tannen and Sky go on vacation together. And Reza are one of the guys. It's like, come on, Greg. Why aren't you going on vacation? You should do that too. Like, yeah, you go out on vacation.

And he's like, no, it's her money. So she should get to spend her money how she wants, you know. And so we find out that she's kind of making all the money. And she's also going out. She's maintained her own life. And I like her attitude. It's like, okay, I'm married to an asshole, but I still have my girlfriends. And I'm going to still live my life.

And he's not liking it. But, you know, dealing with it in the way of like, you're a slut. And I can't trust you because you're probably fucking other dudes is not really the way to keep your woman, you dumb ass. There's also a small wrinkle in this, which is that they used to travel and do things together. But then when Sky came along, she started to hang out with Sky instead of Greg. So I wonder if there's some sort of festering jealousy there. But yeah, at that guy's night, they were like all gathered around this like fire pit. And I actually, I think we talked about this on the trailer breakdown, which is that they like had like a foot up on the fire pit.

And I was like, get your foot down. You're going to catch yourself on fire. The entire time I was like, could you please step away from the fire? You were too close. Big dog. Big dog. Oh, yeah. I'm a foot on the fireplace kind of a guy.

I've ruined many the bottom of many of many of the bottom of parachutes that way. We also in that fire pit scene, that's when Amir shares about his past that he was actually formally married to someone and then she died of cancer. And it's like really so sad. I think I teared up when you talked to. So this is this is the couple Amir and Natasha. They're like the nice couple like you said earlier. And she's like really bubbly nice. She was a dental assistant.

And after his wife died, his friend was like, I'm hooking you up with my dental assistant. And he's like, I was never so happy to get my teeth done. And she's like, yeah, I mean, it totally worked out because I was so sick of dating. I literally told myself that day the next guy who comes along, I'm marrying him. And then this guy came along. So I married him. So I even have the Post-it note that I wrote his number on. I was like, this is the saddest love story ever because she's like,

well, I'm settling. I got sick of waiting. And he's like, well, my true love is dead. So it's I think he's sort of like a cat. I worried for that. I'm just worried that she's going to break. I think she's going to crack. Because what we know about her, she's very regimented.

And she's like a clean freak. She hates germs. Obviously, she kept like the post-it note. She's like very much like, this goes here and this goes here and this goes here. And I'm worried that at some point she is literally just going to like, like she's going to show up at someone's house and her hair's going to be a mess and she's going to be like, ran out of handy wipes.

And he'll be like, okay, Natasha. Like I think she's going to like have a very serious break. Yeah. So that would make sense. So they go to, let me see, what should we talk about?

So they have a girl's night, basically. We mentioned this earlier. So they have a girls night now that we've talked about who all the ladies are. So they meet up and Sky is just complaining about how much the valley sucks

because she made them all go to Santa Monica. And so MJ and J.D. You're like, why would we have to come all the way to Santa Monica? Anybody who lives in L.A. and does not live in Santa Monica knows. You don't want to go to Santa Monica. It's far. It's like a different world.

It's a different city. I don't want to go over there. It's too far to get there. There's nowhere that's better to eat. Like, why? Why do we have to come here? And she's like, well, you know. It's also colder and mistier.

It's just like the worst. It's just a totally different vibe. You know, it's a beautiful place and people love it. I mean, if I live there, I would go out there. But I don't want to drive for an hour and a half in traffic to go to some chamber. Yeah, it's like, I don't care. It's so annoying. It's so annoying.

So they're already annoyed that they have to go there. And Skye's like, well, you know, we go to Santa Monica because, you know, it's not the valley. And the valley is terrible. It's hot. It's disgusting. The restaurants are terrible. She lists all the things that are wrong with the valley. It's so funny.

She has utter disdain for the valley. And they are so pissed that she's like dissing the valley. And they're like, oh, God, this girl's so snotty. And I can't believe that, you know, she won't even eat in the valley. Like, get over it, bitch. You know, especially Gigi. So Gigi wants to kill this chick already. So we see a team, we see a team form.

You know, we see the ladies who hate their husbands and travel together versus the OGs. Yeah. And honestly, like, I really, I really like the sky on Tant. and relationship. I'm kind of like rooting for them. I do too and I wouldn't go up against them, especially Sky. I think Gigi thinks this is going to be easy because they're new

and she's got the audience on her side but she's Gigi so she does not have the audience on her side and this Sky Lady is like so cranky and snotty and hilarious that I think she's going to get the audience on her side real quick. I mean, I'm on her side. That's

we love a mess. That's all that matters. We love a mess. We love a snoddy asshole. And I feel like Tannen's an asshole too. And I also feel like Tannins. I also feel like Sky and Tannen are really smart. I mean, famous last word. It's always scary whenever you make that declaration about someone on Bravo. But I do feel like they're smart.

So I'm always going to get behind a smart lady. But I think that Gigi actually kind of sticks out on this cast because it feels like more or less everyone is kind of like an adult. And I feel like Gigi is still acting like an adolescent in a weird way. Yes, she has a kid. Yes, she is, you know, doing. she's trying to be an adult, but like, there's just like a different vibe.

And like, I don't know. I just, so I feel like maybe that's why I'm just not as compelled to watch Gigi because she's, she's sort of cosplaying as an adult, but I'm not, I don't really feel like she is an adult necessarily. Well, Gigi is like a Valley cast member,

but she's like one of the guys from the Valley, you know, like never grows up, you know, making terrible decisions all the time, coming up with multiple excuses for their bad decisions. Like, she's like a Tom Schwartz or a Jacks.

or one of those guys from the valley. And so, I mean, it still kind of works for the theme. There's also, by the way, a really interesting tonal difference between this valley and the other valley. The other valley is more like where Gigi would fit in, which is people who are now like they're, you know, in their 40s or late 30s, who are grown out of like the party child section of their lives,

but they're still, they haven't quite given it up, but they're now kind of trying to figure out what it's like to be an adult. But this show, it kind of feels like everyone is an adult. It feels like people like there's professionals. It's not that the others are not professional, but these people who are more on career paths, et cetera. And they're just as like a different vibe.

It just feels like people who are a bit more mature and not. Yeah, they don't seem to be struggling to hold on to the youth part of it. They're like, we move to the valley because we want to be older. Like, you know, yeah. Right. Like where if you compare it to like, you know, Kristen and Luke, right?

Chris and Luke are trying to be adults, but like Kristen is like, I got my t-shirt line. And then you have like, you know, bombshad doing, I don't know what bombshad does, but he has an office with bricks.

He's a brick interior office. I'm like, wow, he's a grown-up. Yeah. He has an office. By the way, he has an office with a desk,

a desk at a computer. So one's not better than the other bench. It's an interesting thing to point out that there is like definitely a tonal shift between the two. Right. So one of the characters we have not talked about is the new Mike, the new Mike Shwed, who we thought might be the gay.

He was not the gay. Yeah. And I'm not convinced after watching the episode that he's not the gay, but we meet this guy. And obviously, I don't mean that as a criticism. I just, the shoes. I'm just going to say, it's the shoes. So we meet this guy. He's also named Reza.

So I don't know what we call him. Like Reza Jackson. Reza Jay. Reza Jay. So Resid J comes in and he's cute. He's very good looking. He is a ladies man not ready to settle down. He has the typical scenes of talking to family where they're like,

when are you going to have a baby, when it's a time to get married, you know. And he's like in person, in Persian culture, you've really got to get married real quick or you're worthless. And well, I guess I'm going to try and settle down. So we've got that whole hacky thing of like the guy who's going to pretend that he's going to try and settle down, even though he's now on TV. So huge doorways of Volvo have opened up to him and he will not be settling down anytime soon. But he's going to pretend. So we've seen this a million times on Bravo.

He's a fairly cute representation of the storyline. But he does have solid crazy eyes. The man has psycho eyes. Yes. I think he is hiding something under there. This is a nice pivot from Mike because Mike was always kind of like a grease ball guy that like you would always be. sort of skeve you out. And this guy is definitely no another fuck boy,

but he's also blatantly that. And, um, like, I found him to be relatively inoffensive. What I did not like was, well, in the first episode, um,

Amir and Natasha have like a dinner party and everyone has to come over, take off their shoes. And so Natasha has invited over her neighbor to meet Resa J. And so like within like three seconds, Resa J and this girl are like making out the table in front of everyone, which is crazy. So you're like, oh, okay, well, it looks like we made a match. And then the second episode, they go on a date.

Well, they weren't making out, right? They were just kind of. They were very flirty to it. They were like, yeah, yeah, they were funny. So then in the second episode, they go on a date. And she just starts busting his balls, which is great. I really like this for her. And she's basically saying, like, are you a fuck boy?

Are you not a fuck boy? And he's like, I'm not a fuck boy. I'm just, I'm promiscuous. I was like, oh, that's, thank you for, like, that's a great. That's, is this supposed to be like the, the the mollification of of a fuck boy like no no no it's much better than that i'm just promiscuous like that yeah i feel like you could have had you could have rebranded yourself a little more strongly than yeah much hotter much hotter yeah uh so he's like well well that one didn't really work out

not gonna see her again who dodged a bullet i was like yeah she she dumped you immediately sir but the night that you're talking about they all get together and it was a little tense because Is this when they were coming at Gigi about her credit? The first night was, yes. That's when they were all talking about, like, how's she going to move? She doesn't have good credit. Like, she needs to downsize. Yeah, so MJ immediately tattletails.

And she tells us that she tattletailed to Gigi because she wants Gigi to know that she's on her side. She basically wants to start this off. Like, I'm not going to fight with Gigi this first season. I can't take it. Gigi's too hard. And I'm going to just placate Gigi in this situation. But she does start. the fire with Gigi and everyone else.

And Reza sticks to his guns. He's like, what do you want for me? I'm just trying to help you. Like, you need to make some kind of effort here. But now Gigi's mad at everyone. And she's like, why aren't they even talking? And so she starts throwing grapes at the couple. And that girl's like, that girl was mean.

She was like throwing graves at me. And he's like, yeah, I think that's just how Gigi is. So yeah. We're going to have to deal with it. Definitely did not like help the tone. Like she did not like control the tone because, you know, like I think in a situation like that you sort of like let Gigi ease into the party and then say, hey, just so you know, we were talking about your credit and we are a bit

concerned. Is there like, maybe we should, we can work with you and give you some advice since we're all real estate professionals. But the fact that when Gigi walked in right away and MJ was like, um, we were all talking about you. Gigi, yeah, well, in defense mode. That's MJ. So then, what was the other night that they got together? So they had a boy's night. That was mostly an eventful except we heard about the first wife passing away from that dude. And then, And there was another night, they had like Persian night, right? Is this the other night that they all got together? So they had another dinner party where they all get together.

And this time it's Reza's turn to make some mess. So they're like, so what's up? I heard that you sleep separately from your husband. It's like, yes, I sleep separately from him because, you know, the story that we told before. He comes back in the bed at 3 in the morning and takes the whole bed, breath in my face. It's disgusting. I got my own bed. And they're like, well, don't you sleep in a separate bed too, Tannen?

and whatever. So they're talking about that. And Ress is like, well, I would just like to say that you should never let your marriage get to the point where you're sleeping in other beds because that is the beginning of the path to divorce. And then everybody just gets, everybody just gets really quiet. And they're like, oh, my God. And of course, we know already one of the marriages has crumbled and that, of course, is MJ and Tommy. And so what we're seeing is their relationship falling apart, which is very sad. But also like basically Tommy is like he's too much. He's too much.

You know, there's there's there is like Tommy's a fascinating character because he is like a very sweet guy underneath it all. We can all see it. And you sort of do feel like he really loves his family and and MJ, but you also see how he doesn't get out of his own way. And he just, he does joke too much. It makes too many barbs and passive aggressive barbs. This is a way like a lot of straight guys just communicate and it's not healthy at all.

And how yeah, gay. guys, we're totally good about not making sarcastic barbs constantly. Well, it's not just about that. But just like, I think that like straight guys are like communication sometimes can be, it just has a different vibe, you know, whereas women are like, let's talk about this. Let's do this. And then gay guys were like in the middle somewhere. But Tommy, he's like a lot of like a lot of the, lot of the scenes of him are like, hey,

your ass looks big. Get out of here. Okay, scram. And then like little baby sham is like, yeah, scram mom. And it's like, okay. It's like, and he's like, and you're like, this isn't the best. And MJ is starting to pick up on that. And she's like, I don't love this.

And she starts, and she tells her mom, they're driving somewhere. And she's like, yeah, I don't love the way he talks to me. And she goes, well, you know, you can't teach an old monkey new trip tricks. And she's like, it's dog mom. She's like, no, no, it's monkey. I'm pretty sure it's monkey. It's monkey. You never know it's Mercedes.

Because MJ starts this whole show by being like, I'm leaving Tommy. like fuck Tommy like I'm not staying in this relationship why the fuck would I okay look here's the thing if you asked me like Ronnie from an outside perspective what's wrong with my relationship with Tommy here's my answer you married Tommy what the fuck did you think was gonna happen he said his vows in farts yeah I mean when you married fucking Tommy bro like that's what happened and I can understand getting absolutely sick of it because he is nonstop he's like let's go to a date night Let's go to a fucking date night. Yeah, you look pretty good.

All right, let's go. Oh, man, this is a waiter? Yeah, yeah. Give me something that's not going to make me shit all of your fucking restaurant. How about that? She's like, can we not talk about diarrhea? It's like, ah, shut the fuck up, stupid. All right, give me this thing.

That was a shrimp cocktail. Don't you know how to repop Morse code? Get the fuck over it. And then he does go and take a dump in the bathroom at the end of the seventh rate, which is a place. I don't know if you've ever been there. I went to a wedding there once. It's a small bathroom.

So I feel bad for anyone who had to go into that bathroom afterwards. And it comes out like, yeah, it took a shit. Yeah, it took a major shit now. Like, wow, this is a charming date night that you're having here, Tommy. But yeah, she's spending the first two episodes, like basically laying the groundwork for leaving Tommy. She's telling, she's telling the audience in every city, like, I'm out of here. Fuck this guy. And so she has a scene with her mom where she's like, you know, mom, I just don't like, I just,

like, I just don't like feel listened to and I don't feel safe in my relationship with Tommy. And like the kid's starting to, baby Shams is starting to like smart off to me too because he's learning it from his dad. And we see a lot of examples of that of the kid being like, what? Don't tell me to dinner stupid. You do it, dummy. And she's like, oh, God, you know. And she tells her mom, well, I don't, I don't, you know, discipline him as much because I don't want to be like you, mom, you know, where everything I do is wrong. It's like, oh, please. Oh, MJ. Oh, wow, wow.

So now you're saying you don't feel safe with Tommy. Come on. Wow, wow, wow. Good fucking real Mercedes. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. So, MJ's like just not heard. I was like, damn. Yeah. Damn, Vita. But then Vita actually goes and sits down with Tommy. She takes Tommy to lunch and she's

basically saying to Tommy like, she actually sticks up for Mercedes. She's like, you have to stop. You have to make this work. You have to stop joking around so much. She's what? I do everything for her. You know, he'll hear the Bob says. She says the Bob. She's just like you, Vita. It's like I got a mini Vita on my hands. The only thing I don't have is a red lips. There'd be rocking the face like the one I'm looking at right now. God. And she's like, but if you don't change her ways, she's going to leave. And he goes, then she should get a divorce. Okay, well, she's going too stupid. So that's what you did. And you know, like when I say MJ, like,

You picked Tommy. Like, you did. I mean, I think anybody who watched this was like, what the fuck are you doing? But, you know, there is a certain time in your life. And I think she was at it where she was like, it's time. I want to get married. I want to have a kid. And if this is the guy, you know, at least he's nice, you know.

And it doesn't mean that just because you married him that for the rest of your life, you have to put up with his bullshit. So good for her. And I heard that on their podcast, he was like, ah, women, they don't want to work anything out anymore. Oh, yeah. We'll make one little tiny fucking effort, not to be disgusting, bro. I mean, geez.

Seriously. So, yeah, I don't feel bad for him. It is so crazy seeing baby shams being a kid now. Like with the personality and how he is turning into a little Tommy. I mean, all of that was pretty fun to watch. Yeah, yeah. It is wild. But, yeah, this is, I mean, is this what Bravo is going to be doing now?

When certain the young shows get too old, you spin them off into the valley. and then you watch all the relationships crumble. That's basically what this is. Is that what like the city in the city is going to be like for Summerhouse when they all go into the city? And then we're going to watch Kyle and Amanda crumble and we'll watch, well, there are no other relationships on that show. That's the funny part about the summer house.

Nothing is stable over there. Yeah. But I think, yeah, that's it. They're going to keep their stars and just spin them off into other shows, which I like. I mean, it's working for me. I thought this one was pretty good. I was solidly entertained for the two and a half hours. Great to have the OGs back.

And even better, honestly, to see the new cast. Because I think they struck some gold there. So we'll just have to wait and see. Yeah, they found a good cast chemistry. And this is, this is the good pivot that they've been, they've been trying for so many years on Jaws to get more supporting players in there. And I think they, I think they did it now. I think it's, it feels like it's in a really good place.

So they're doing good stuff over there. It's a really fun show. And Bravo, I kind of feel, I think that right now, everything in Bravo has been, is really good with the exception. Beverly Hills is is struggling. Southern Charm is kind of struggling too. But still even them, all these shows that struggle, it's still, I think Bravo's in a good place.

I think it's all good stuff for us. We are lucky. We are hashtag blessed. Yeah, we are being fed, the kids say. So really good. We'll be back next week with a full recap of the episode. We just wanted to kind of give a lay of the land today. But we will be giving the show full recap starting next week.

Join us later today for some traders' coverage as that just started. And if you want ad free, join us over on Patreon. And don't forget to go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies. On sale now. We do that show February 27th. So join us, won't you? Bye, everyone. Bye.

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