Watch What Crappens - #3159 Below Deck Med S10E16 Part 1: Ba Da Ba Ba Ba - Not Luvin’ It

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

This is part 1 of a 2-part recapIt’s a chicken McNugget drama as deep fried projectiles interrupt Max and Cathy on Below Deck Mediterranean.  Meanwhile, Joe and Kizzi work overtime to make V seem like a crazy clinger.  We don’t.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And welcome to Watch What Crap In, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. And joining me today is the glorious, hilarious, lovable. And what else? What other adjectives do you want, Ronnie? Really, she's up for three. Comedies and three and fives, as you always say. I like to go to four.

I like to go to four. How are you? Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? How are you? Good. We look like a stage. managers convention today. We're both in our

blacks, dark grays. We came out from the curtains. We are about to strike a set. But before we do that, it's exciting times around here. So the golden crappies, we've mentioned, they're going to be February 27th in Los Angeles at the Fonda Theater. It's a tremendous night for us. It's always exciting because everyone, bring the whole, you know, Bravo fan

community together. We root on our favorites. We boo, the ones we hate, et cetera. It's such a fun night. We always have special guests. We always have podcasters. We always have, you know, various bravo liberties, things like that. So it's a great time. We hope you join us. We, uh, the tickets have been on sale for about three days. The theater's already halfway sold out. So, I'm just going to say, if you want to go, definitely get your tickets because I think this one may sell out. I don't want to be, I don't want to be, I don't want to be presumptuous, but I don't want to be any, I don't want anyone to be left out in the cold on this one. But the good news is there

will also be live streaming, but that is not up and ready yet. So go to watchercrappins.com. A ticket link is there. It's also on our socials at Watcher Crappins on Instagram and other places. And we really hope you can join us. We also are crafting the ballot. So we're going to be putting out, we've already put one out, put out some feelers out on Reddit.

We'll be some on social media. So help us make this ballot. We're going to have a fun time. So there's that. Also on Patreon, we do our bonus episodes every week. And we're talking traders. So if you are a trader's head like we are, come join us for that, patreon.com slash watch our extra perk.

Our ad free is now available on Patreon too. It's all in one place, that long last. So if you want ad free, go to Patreon. That's all the really big news that I think that I have. Is there any more big news? Is there possibly any other news in the world right now, Ronnie, beyond what we have done? Nothing's going on to the world, which is crazy. Pretty chill time here, especially in America.

Pretty chill. I love a slow news cycle. Pretty peaceful and chill over here in America, guys. We're doing great. Everybody's doing great. Everyone's happy. So let's get to some below deck. We're really, what do we have to worry about?

Is he making out with somebody? Joe making out with somebody. Max, it's a way runner problem, guys. It's an easy world. Let's jump into that. The real world for a while. This episode really got me mad. Really got me angry.

mainly because of Joe. Like Joe, it's like I've had enough. I've really had enough of this guy now. It's time for him to leave. He is, he's just, he's such a piece of shit. He's just like a garbage piece of shit. Is he not? He is.

I mean, look, here's the most annoying thing about this show to me, that it's still going. This is episode 16. End. This, end it. End it. Cut the cord. Okay. That's it.

End it. I don't need 18 episodes of Blowback. What was this going to be a 37 episode season? I don't need it. I don't need it. There is a reason that wind is only on Netflix 10 episodes a season. That's all we need of wind. Okay. Captain Sandy doesn't get more and I don't get I don't need more of Captain Sandy. Okay. This is enough. I'm okay with it. I'm involved. This is below deck of him 12 episodes. That's it. I'm I'm honestly invested. I feel like with below deck is like I don't know like this one I'm feeling it. I really am and God I love a show that can give us a McNugget cliffhanger like what's going to happen with mcguts and by the way the reason why i'm so angry i'm really i really don't like the way joe treats v and the way he's like trying to cast her as like some crazy person but even more so i'm furious that he and nathan ate kathy's mcnuggets because she deserves her mcnuggets and if

i'm drunk at the end of the night and someone eats my mcnuggets i am like you don't even know you don't even know bro like you're gonna see a side of me you don't want to see and i was like what the fuck is wrong with you to eating someone else's big nuggets and then throwing your half-eaten pieces of their food at them while they're potentially kissing someone gelatinous chicken guide for those nuggets and you guys are just throwing them like they're nothing i mean it just goes to prove you've got joe who's an asshole because of reasons we're we're going to say a million more times today nathan's an asshole for reasons, I'm sure we'll say a million more times today. But Max, I think, is getting off easy because he's the only one kind of being nice to a woman at the moment.

And so everybody's like, oh, my God, he must be the sweet one. No, he's not. He's a waster of gelatinous chicken. And that's not to be. And then look what he does the second. He throws someone else's chicken nuggets. He's the victim. He's the one that's been hurting this whole thing because he's not getting enough attention.

You just threw chicken nuggets. You should be put to death. You should be hung over the side of that boat. I'm not going to cry for you. I'm not crying for you. I'm not crying for Mac. Max drives me enough. Behead him.

Behead him. Enough. All of them. Have a women-only boat. How about that? So we start off. No, because this is Bravo. So one of them is going to be Malia.

Okay. Bravo is not just going to. And listen, I love that Bravo inflames me, you know, and I love it. And I say end this show, because I do believe that they need shorter seasons on this, but I still enjoy it.

I mean, it's still below deck. I'm not going to cry. I'm still going to eat my dessert. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm at that point of the season where I'm invested over stupid shit like McNuggets. And well, let's just get into it. So where we last left, Max was struggling with hooking a jet ski to a hook because he kept on standing on the back of the jet ski. And now

we learn with greater detail that the issue is that he kept on jumping off the jet ski, cause the jet ski to sort of flip upwards and not connect with the hook the way it's supposed to. And he's supposed to be jumping off gently. Like everyone knows, hello, as Dr. Heavenly would say, no doi, no doi. No doi by Dr. Heavenly guys. No doy, daddy. No joy. So Nathan's just doing what Nathan does, which is screaming at him with monk hair from above.

A monk hair scream is bad. Because you know, like, those monks think about silence. So if it's a scream, it's the worst kind. I know. Stick with your haircut and just vowed to be silent. It's like, you know, when a rabbit gets, you know when a rabbit's like getting attacked? Have you ever heard the sound of a rabbit being attacked? It's like it's a terrifying, blood-curdling scream.

It sounds like a child has been sad. It's like, you know, bunnies don't like make noise. They're just like hopping around and they're quiet. But then when they are cornered, the noise that they do make is petrifying. And I feel like that's what happens with monk hair. Is that like if monk hair you're supposed to have a valve silence. So if they do scream, it's going to be like something that's soul-shattering. Yeah, they're not, they're not really.

like into being silent, they're just silent because they have really annoying voices. So they're like, I guess I'm going to be a monk. They learn when they go on their first roller coaster. They're like, hey, I'm finally tall enough to ride this ride. Yes. And like everyone hates them. Like, I guess I'm going to become a monk. Get me a bowl.

Cut my hair. I'm going into the monkdom. All those silent film stars, you know, they all lost their jobs because when they started to have to talk, I've realized they hated their voices. Well, yeah, that was singing in the rain. Remember the beautiful actress? They went to talkies. She was like, hey, what am I dumb or something?

They all sound like Romona laughing. Okay, so Nathan is screaming from above. You got to fix it in the water. You fix it in the water. Max is like, oh, I'm in the air. Not touching water. I'm in the air. Max screams out something.

He sounds so French. He sounds like a French cartoon. And he goes, I don't you do it. His voice is like all gravely when he screams. I don't know what he do it. He's like, Mark, you got to make watch. You got to hook at Marks. You got to hook at Marx.

Fix it in the water. Fix it in the water. So they're arguing. And Captain Sandy's like, guys, I am trying to watch Wind. Felicia Rashad is in a raft and she's about to go under because the big villain just came. The villain's name is Wind. I can't hear anything over you two screaming and yelling. You can't do that in front of Felicia.

Rashad. She's having a very serious award-worthy monologue. Be quiet, guys. So they're just arguing. And Max, like, they're two meters away. They go up and they're all but down and jet skis. Like, oh, it's like a strap. I'm trying to get this trap. And like, what are you smoking at? Is someone, it's a smoking or yelling at someone. It's like a bonjour, go au-voir. Like caviar. He's not listening. Well, say it again. I didn't hear what you said. I be saying, what are you talking about? Well, he's not listening to his boss. Get off the fucking Jetsky, Max.

He's really boiling me. He's really boiling me up. I'm going to prove it by all the nothing that I do in this episode, even though there's totally a deckhand sitting in a hotel that I'm in love with, that I would love to have more time with. But I can't think to fire Max and hire her back for the final two episodes, because I'm a dingus. I'm a dingus.

What are you doing? Get rid of Max. You have the perfect example. You have the perfect reason right now to get rid of Max. Do it. I thought it was going to happen. And because later on, as we'll see, he calls up Galen's like, there's something I've been mulling over.

I want to propose to you. So it's going to happen, but it didn't happen. So Sandy comes down. She's like, okay, well, you know what? I had to press pause right in the middle of Felicia's monologue. So what's going on down here? Oh, well, it's too rough. Max is too rough getting off like Jetsky.

When you jump off the stem, you're sinking the bottom of the jet ski and the strap should go forward. And that's exactly what keeps on happening. Okay, well, you know what you got to do next time? Okay, I'm just going to put this out there. put the qualified person on the hard thing, right? So put Joe on there and put Max on lollipop duty, okay? Just a little hint from your captain who got our favorite show interrupted.

Thanks so much. You just got to figure out where to put your people. Who is this? Who's this Captain Sandy? What happened to everybody should be competent? You know, I feel like Captain Sandy like changes depending on who it is, you know, which I guess we all do. You know, we base our judgments on who's in front of us.

but it's a little annoying because I feel like she's amused by Max because you see her smiling like half the shit that Max does she sees him through her little window and she's like, hold on Felicia okay hold that monologue. God that guy's funny.

God I love that Max Banana. I love that Max Nana. Love him. She's like amused so she just lets it go. She's like, yeah Max is an idiot. Put him on balloon duty. Don't we have some balloons to blow up? That would be fun.

Hey, have you ever asked Max to tie a balloon into a giraffe? That would be funny. I'll let he makes a French giraffe. What am I psychic? Ask him to do it. Sandy is definitely giving 80s sitcom mom energy this season where like she opens a closet and like five things fall in her head. And then she looks at the camera and just smiles like those wacky kids.

Like in the opening credits. It's like Nell Carter pulling the dust buster out of the fish tank, you know? Yeah. Like those kids. It's like Sandra yawn. Yeah. And introducing Captain Sam. Sandra Yon.

Hey. And her wife. Baby, just answering the phone. I'm baby. Special guest are Little Bear. Who's actually a dog. Alth trying to eat Little Bear.

No, Alf. It's not a cat. You know, no matter how Max is acting, you know, listen, is Max, is Max, acting like the little rat from Ratatouille? Sure. But, you know, you can't scream at him. He's not going to be able to make a little. soup. Okay? And what's Rattatooie without a good soup? Nobody. He's Moussitui. No one's going to buy

tickets to that movie. Title doesn't even make sense. But you know what? You got to do it away from the boat if you're going to yell at somebody because everyone can hear you. He's got to learn to pause. And when something's not working, he's got to change it. Speaking of pausing, look at Felicia Rashad, pause in the middle of that monologue. It's a good one. She's about to talk about tornadoes. Funny story I once wrote a letter to Disney Pixar and said, why wasn't Felicia Rashad and Ratatouille. And furthermore, I thought Ratatoui was about a rat version of R2D2, but I guess that didn't work out. Oh well, signed Captain Sande-D-Haw. Guess I'll just dive, holding my breath, waiting for Rat C-P-O.

I guess we won't have Rat Star Wars any time soon, but maybe you should think about it, as long as you're turning rats into food critics, why don't you turn them into something more important, like little robots that can save the universe. Just switch them up. That's how you got to do. do. That's how you gotta do. Okay. You put a little mask on them. You don't even see the Dorm Troopers faces anyway, but you tell people they're rats. It's so much more entertaining. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So she leaves like, okay, I just solved the problem. We have an incompetent person who's

putting the guests at risk again and again over and over and not listening to anything. You know what? Just give them a raise. That's what I say. Yeah. Give him a race. Um, so over in the, uh, in the kitchen, Josh is flummoxed because he's trying to plate a dinner. And he has, he's going through his own existential crisis, which I think is relatable to every American, dare I say, every human on the planet. Captain Sandy wants plated, Asia wants synchronized service. The guests want tapas. And I'm trying to take what everybody is saying to me on board. But the imposter syndrome is really starting to show up. I'm like, put food on a plate. I think that's that's like the, you guess what, tap us are small plates. Plated food, small plates. Synchronized service, small plates. Put food on a small plate.

It's simple. Yeah, I don't really, I don't, I'm sorry. I don't really understand what's so difficult about putting shit on the plate. And I think Josh is a good chef. I think Josh has really shown himself to be very, very good. I don't think there's been any complaints, except for that vegan idiot. But I think that he's been pretty good. Now, I will say his hair is stupid.

And he was on, watch what happens live. And his hair was even stupider. So I have to hand it to him that he's willing to go that far in being stupid looking with his hair. But he's a good chef and just put things on a plate. You know, I agree with you. Also, just a side note, he said, they said out of all the girls who is the worst worker or something, that wasn't the exact question. It was like, who's not the best worker? I don't know.

It was something. And he answered Kizzy, which I thought was pretty bizarre. So it kind of goes to show you that this guy is kind of like other guys. Petty. Even though he's acting nice. It's like, oh, he didn't get the girl he wants. So now all of a sudden it's like, well, I didn't want you anyway, bitch. You're fat.

Was he, was he, I wonder if he was asked about everyone on the boat or just in the interior? Because if he chose his. Oh, okay. Well, you know, who's he got to choose from? It's like, Kathy, it's not going to be Kathy. It's not going to be Asia. Well, is there someone left? Was there the third?

No, but how would it be any of them, really? Why would you say, I mean, I don't know. I know that those questions are, I know that those questions are designed to cause fights and stuff. I think those are bad questions anyway. Like you're having people on watch what happens. Like, why are you making them dis each other? I get the Andy does it because then it reunions. He started a fight and then the whole reunion becomes about his, his show.

But I get why they do it, but I don't think it's cool to do that. And why can't you just say like they're all great? I'm not going to pick somebody for your stupid, for your stupid entertainment. Sorry, I already came here with a stupid haircut for you. I'm not going to go down to that level. But also, why do we have Josh on last night's watch or happens live after this episode? Like, this is an episode where we needed Joe Bradley on there and we needed Andy to grill him. Although, I don't know if Andy has a crush on him or not, because if Andy has a crush on him,

then like it would be like a useless endeavor. But they're really trying to do something with Josh here. Josh seems like, like you said, he seems like a good chef, but he's been a little bit of a dud on the personal storyline. So they're trying so hard. They've had him get into his clown makeup umpteen times. They put him with his guitar. And now they've gone to a new, like they've broken into a new frontier with Josh this episode where he talks about how he has an imposter syndrome.

And they said, what does your, does the voice in your head have a name? And he says, Dominic, he's got black hair for some reason. And he's almost like a little bit got got off. And they put like this cartoon avatar on screen. And then the cartoon avatar talks to us and says, You ain't going to amount to anything, mate. I'm like, no, this bit isn't going to amount to anything. I'm sorry, I loved that little cartoon.

I thought he was great. I did it. I was like, this is serious. I was jealous that his inner voice was so thin and had hair because mine isn't. Mine is like Java the Hut. And it's like, fucking loser. You fucking loser. Call Domino's.

That's all you could do right now with your life. Call Domino. That's mine. Mine's horrible. His is like hot. I think his is like hot. I will say his inner voice did seem like I had better posture. than me. So maybe I was just jealous. It had good posture, it had good fashion sense. It had cute

hair. It had a nice little earring. I mean, I was like, you can't talk about your low self-confidence when your imposter is even like castable. You know what I mean? Like, I'd cast him. I didn't like the imposter's hair, though, to be sure, to be fair. It was like giving me a little bit like Adam Lambert 2005, you know. It was just such an improvement over Josh's hair. You know, like, who's imposter? He's like, who has imposter syndrome, but their like character in their head is way hotter than them. It just doesn't make sense. I just never really thought of the voice inside my head as actually having like a corporal

presence. I just thought it was just a voice in my head. But now that I know that it could actually be something from like the Nintendo Wii, I'm like, oh, okay, well, maybe I should think about that. Yeah, the voice in my head is like Bet Midler, Tyne Daily, Jabba the Hut, and Columbo all rolled into one horrible, horrible person, just berating me all day and chain smoking, you know. Mine's Francis McDormand. Just Francis McDormand

being like, oh, yeah, all right, well, you did that. Well, are you proud of yourself? Pride yourself that you did that? You tried to make a joke. You interrupted Ronnie to tell a bad joke. You're proud of what you did. I didn't finish my Peloton today.

I just, God, I'm such a fucking loser. It's like, guess what? Just won another Oscar. So. Hi, Fran. Hi, Fran. She always says hi to, like, strangers to be friendly. That's what she did in all.

Nomad Land. And she just walked around saying hi to strangers. Hi, you're looking good. You did your dishes today? Look good. You look good. But then she's salty to everyone she knows. So we see Dominic and we've got mixed reviews on Dominic.

I loved him, Ben, but not so much. Joe asks if Max is okay and Max is clearly pissed. And Joe is like, we'll deal with it later. We'll deal with the later, mate. And, you know, he's like, oh, Nathan really doesn't. know how to deal with Max. The way to deal with Max is to just pat him on the shoulder and tell him he's right about everything.

I'm doing a great job as Lee Deccan, eh? Yeah, you're really killing it. The guests are talking about tomatoes. And one guy, he likes to eat them like an apple. And specifically when he drives. Because someone's like, imagine going and picking up a tomato and biting into it. And this guy's like, I do that. I do that when I drive.

This guy takes tomatoes into his car and he bites into them like an apple, which I think is wild, but I have heard of people doing that, but it's also seems so messy. Like, he must be just eating, like, unriped tomatoes, because if you're in your car, I am not biting into a juicy, ripe tomato, because that's going everywhere. I think of the shit people eat in their cars.

My God, I've eaten such nasty stuff in my car. Like a Burger King Burger, you know, like, now I'll eat the miracle meat or whatever the fuck that's called. But, like, you eat that, it just slops all over you. I mean, cars are disgusting places. We shouldn't be eating in there.

But I think tomatoes especially, like you even get like a little tomato juice squirt on something, which you will. If you eat a tomato raw, you're going to get some squirt. And that's going to, that's going to smell like a dumpster. Even one little squirt of it will smell like a dumpster after a day. But also like you're going to show up at work every day with some tomato schmuts. I kind of feel like if you're going to eat tomatoes in the car, just get a carton of like cherry tomatoes because you can just pop them in. And they actually generally taste better than most, you know, off-season tomatoes. So, like, this guy's not only committed to messy, but he's committed to, like, shitty tomatoes.

Yeah. I mean, at least get, like, cherry tomatoes, the peanut and the nms of tomatoes. Yeah, like, it's something a little. Cherry or a grape? Something, one bite. One bite. Come on. Come on.

Let's get together. Be respectful of our driving spaces. So, yeah, the guests are talking about tomatoes. They're great. They're great casting. So Nathan's like, you know, this is how you get off a jet ski without moving, lifting the straps. I don't jump off the jet ski like Max. I let myself off it nice and easy.

And I want to, that's how you do it in your relationships too. I want Joe and V to watch how it's done because this is the way it's going to be done for the rest of the season. Okay, so he shows them and they're like, okay, cool. And then Joe Mee was like,

I need to go out of horse with Kizzy because we have to do a dance. So, um, no one wants to see you fucking dancing during their day. Below deck needs to stop this. Let's let the crew entertain the people. I don't, it's like watching people.

people's kids. You go to their house. My kid's going to put on a play. You have to watch your play. Was I the kid who put on the play? I was that kid. I did great plays. So I'm taking myself out of this example because I was a good playwright as a child. My sister got murdered in

every play, as sisters should. But no one else wants to watch your kids do plays. And that's what this is like. Look, our kids are going to dance and dirty socks. Like I don't want to see Kizzy do her fucking made up thing she learned in fifth grade ballroom dancing. You're not going to be on dancing with the stars. Okay. It's over. Pack up your stuff and go.

Yeah. And they're just, they're dance, they're practicing and they're flirting and they're giggling and they're laughing and the V is right there. And this also just goes to show how full of it, Joe is. I mean, we don't, I don't need to underline this. We all know. But it's just another piece of evidence because here he goes spending weeks on end. Talking about what I have with Victoria are special. It's all special. Oh, I don't want to lose. I've not had something like this before. I'm special.

I don't know if I could do this. Special, special. The moment that she dumps him, which was last episode on this charter, it's like, there's not like a moment of like moping around or like, please, I really think that like I would love it if you would take me back. I was a huge mistake. I've been beating myself up.

Like, not like a shred of regret. It's like right away, boom, let's be touchy-feely with Kizzy. And it just goes to show all that crying. that he did. It's just such bullshit. Like, so obviously bullshit. It's just, it's aggravating. Well, what happens when you let a fish off a hook?

It goes back to swimming in the water. That's all he's doing. You know, he got, he got let off the hook. And he's like back in business, you know. And part of it's probably like, oh, she dumped me. Well, she'll have to watch me do ballroom dancing now. And, you know, Kizzy just gets to be Kizzy, which I think is a reward and to itself. Isn't it always?

So Nathan is upset by this. He's like, there's flirting and there's gicklin over there in front of V. That's so selfish. He needs to reel it in big time. Nice callback. Unintentional to Ron is fish off a hook metaphor he just did. But he needs to reel it in big time because what's happening between them two, it's not good. I'd just like to remind Nathan that he tried to have sex with kidsy two days before Gayle came back.

Okay, moving on. I love that Nathan's now like the moral center of the show. He's like, that's just not right. That's not right what he's doing. Like, hello, have you watched this season? Now, yes, you technically weren't with Gail, but you were still calling her every night. Like, I miss you. All that one is you.

All I need is you. You're all I need in my life while you're still trying to get in Kizzy's pants. And then you couldn't. And two days later, suddenly you're in love with Gail and you can't live without her. I can't with this guy. But go ahead. Kizzy is like that Roy Rogers on the Jersey Turnpike. You know, you stop over there for a little bit.

You have a nice meal. It's sort of fun. guilty pleasure and they keep on going to where you have to go. And whether that happens before you get to your destination or on your way back from the destination, that's just what Kizzi is at this point. Because he had a restop burger. She's just a place to eat while mom peas. So Nathan went to the restop before he got to Gail and Joe's going to the restop after

he went to be. And that's just the way it is. This is why Gays used to hang out at rest stops. So there's more food. More food is being served. There's a squid ink paella, which to me just sounds like poop rice. I don't, that's just too, I don't want that. I don't want it.

And there's a meat paella too. And everybody loved it. And now it's time for the kids to come out and do a dance for the parents' friends. And so they come out. And it's an awkward, it's an awkward dance. It's not great. Kizzy has very dirty socks and I can't get over it. It's bugging me.

Did it bug you? There's squid ink socks. You put so much work into this. Put on your socks. Put on some socks. It's gross. I know. And, you know, her dancing really is a great springboard into explaining so much of her backstory.

So she tells us, my parents got divorced when I was made before. And so me and my sister growing up saw a lot of different men come into our lives because mom wanted that relationship, that person. And she was like me. Like, I'm actually such a hopeless romantic. Like, my God, poor thing. I know. Poor thing to be.

I mean, when she said that, when she's like, you know, my mom wanted that relationship, that person, she was like me. No, Kizzy. You're like her. And it's sad. And you need to recognize. I just thought Roy Rogers rest up. Roy Rogers is just like, I just want to be a proper restaurant. I just want to be an A&W.

But she's. I just want to have weight staff. Yeah. I just thought this was really sad that she's like romanticizing her mom prioritizing men of her kids. Like yikes. I hope she's watching this season of Salt Lake City and really, you know, learning something because this was sad to watch. But I thought she was going to be like, you know, my mom would prioritize men. And that's why I don't take men seriously because I know they're all pieces of shit.

But she's like, no, my mom prioritized men, which is right. And that's why I do it too. I just want that. And it's just so sad. It's like, look at the patterns, you know. and then erase them. I feel like on paper it's sad, but I wasn't moved to sadness. I was like, oh, this is just another below deck thing, you know?

And she's like, it's so funny. It's just the way I behave. Like, I generally do want to really like soppy stuff. Well, she says that like, she's like, I'm actually, I hope it's romantic, but it's funny because it's so polar opposite, just the way that I behave. Because like, I generally do really want, like, soppy stuff. And I don't know. I think with Joe, there's some kind of spark or maybe just the grease in his hair.

But maybe there could be something more. Maybe he said, love my life. We'll see. I'm going to say right now, he is not. And I'm not saying that just because the fact that you were already engaged, the guy you dumped that way you could screw around on this show. Well, it seems like what she's saying, when she's saying, like, I'm a romantic like my mom.

First of all, that's ick because it doesn't sound like your mom was really your romantic. It sounds like she was desperate for like male, not attention, but like, what do you call it? Like, you're doing great. Assurance, reassurance, like, man. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. But it sounds like approval. Approval is what I'm trying to say.

And she, it sounds like she really wants romance, but doesn't believe in it. So instead she's going to like real men in with this like, oh, look at me, just having fun. But she's hoping that ultimately it's something more than that. And it's, I don't know. It's like, that's not how to get it, you know. And I understand being younger and thinking that way. I mean, there were, you know, I've thought I'm not above thinking like that, especially in my younger years, but it's sad to see it, you know, because you just give men like Joe fuel. What do you think is more evidence of being a hopeless romantic, meeting a guy falling in love and just like going headfirst into a relationship or meeting several men and sampling the goods, hoping that you'll find the one.

Because I feel like everyone thinks the hopeless romantic is the one who just commits like to one person and is like, I'm in love, this is it. But I almost wonder if Kizzy sampling lots of goods is actually more of a hopeless romantic thing because you're like one of these guys has to be the one, right? I'm just keep on looking under stones until I find something. Well, I think, yeah, and I think even further, it's like one of these will fight for me, you know? Like one of these is going to be like, no, you don't like everyone else. You really want me. I'm the one. You know, and like kind of talk you into it.

but you don't make yourself a prize, I guess, when you're with, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what it is because I think you do have to sample the goods. I mean, Costco's successful for a reason. They have samples. You go to Costco, you eat all the shit, and you maybe buy one of the things, you know, one of those things wins. I think that if you meet a guy and he tells you whatever he tells you, and you're like, this is the one, and you just put on blinders, I think that makes you

a hopeless romantic. But I think if you're just, you're kissing a whole bunch of guys. guys hoping that one of them will be the one where this it'll this will be the one I think that makes you a hopeful romantic because you're hopeful that something one of these things will work out but the other person is really like kind of like uh I'm just going to build a narrative around this person to fit my narrative and and you're sort of like oh they're in a hopeless situation because they're not going to listen to reason yeah that's my that's my off off the you know off the top of my head kind of like quick assessment about something I really don't care about but you know what I have to

say because I talked about Costco now I've got Costco my head because like who doesn't love Costco. I do. I love it. I could use a better picture for my Costco card. Oh my God. I could use a retake. But I will say I do love it. But what I was saying earlier is like there's a lot of samples in Costco. Right. So you go try all the samples and you maybe you'll buy one and take one home. But guess what you don't buy the person giving out the samples. No one buys that person. At the end of the day, my papa would just come home at the end of the day tired. you know he's like I gave so much to so many people and nobody bought me like nobody wanted me and I feel like that's kizzy so she is both the one giving out the samples but also doing the

sample like she's basically she has a tray of samples but she's walking around Costco with her tray of samples trying other people's samples right and no no she's the person giving away the samples but nobody ultimately picks her they pick what she's giving you know what I mean so they'll take what you're offering but they're not taking you because you're not offering the right things. Or, you know, my papa was never offering himself. He was never like, ha, my name is Ronald Tiv as Mullins. And, you know, these are my dreams and aspirations.

He was just like, would you like a little piece of gelatin chicken, you know, flavored with barbecue sauce? And so at the end of the day, people would have appreciated the free things they got from him, but he still felt empty when he went home. Right, because he gave out so many samples. Yeah, he did love that job, though. It's a fun job. have to admit.

Well, I think we figured out Kizzy, which is, she still sucks. Anyway. She's a rest stop. She's a restop burger giving out samples and going home alone. She's like a rest stop Costco. Rest up, she's like the $1.50 hot dog at Costco without the Costco attached. Yeah. I think it's just she's just mis-aiming, you know.

I think she just doesn't know what to do. I believe that this person wants love. She just doesn't know how to go about getting it. It's going to be really rough for her, disregarding everyone around her's feelings. Because people are going to disregard her feelings, as we see. Because do you think Joe's going to do anything for her? No, Joe's going to dump her the second the cameras turn off. She's just on the wrong TV show.

She needs to be on Love Island. She's bringing Love Island energy to Blow Deck. And this is just... She'd be a hero on that show. She'd be a hero. She would actually kill it on Love Island. Everyone would be like, oh, we love Kizzy because she knows what she wants. She's not afraid.

And she's also, I hate her, but she also stirs up a lot of drama. But on Blow Deck, you're just like... Fuck you get out of here. Yeah, because it's not the dating around. I mean, you're young. You should be dating around. You should be trying all the goods. It's the disregard for everybody else around her that's making her gross.

Anyway, that's enough about Kizzy. Jeez. Well, Nathan is in his cab. Venezuela, am I right? So Nathan is, Nathan's in his cab and he texts Gale, and he's like, You'd be so annoyed. Jaws back to us all tricks, flirting with. Keszie and Frantavie.

And she's like, povie. He's like, ah. And then we see Max and Kathy, and they're like, they're relaxing. And Max is saying, oh, I nearly like fight Nathan. And she's like, all right, well, I'm bored. Don't tell me any more about it. I'm going to say goodbye. And then we go back to Nathan.

And he's basically saying to Gail, what we talked about before, which is he's like, hey, can we talk tomorrow? Because I've been mulling over something I want to ask you. And I, since you put the theory in my head, was excited that it was coming true, that Max would be fired. Even for one charter to not have Max on would be such relief for me as an audience member. And Gail, I had hope for Gail because she just gave a thumbs up to the message. And that is universal Bravo code for Eurovich.

As we all learned in season one of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. So I was like, oh, God, maybe she's finally going to stand up for herself with this guy. Commercials. Here comes one right now. And then we go to Kathy and Max. And she's like, oh, raw, you're going to be a good. Good boy tomorrow, aren't you? No pissing anyone off. And he's like, I can do it. I was only hitting the hell. So she says that since her stepdad died, Max has been there for her in the hardest of times.

And he deserves someone to be there for him. I'm like, that happened three days ago. You're still in your morning period. And it's like you don't have to pivot out of your thing to go tend to him. Like, you still deserve to have him tending to you. So don't feel like this whole thing where Max, Max was bad with his job and his boss yelled at him. is deserving of you having to shut off what your shit, what shit you're going through to have to like tend to his bruised ego.

I say, yeah, it deserves someone to be there too, but you, you had a parental figure that passed away. Max is like fighting with a wave runner. Yeah. Don't throw out your,

don't throw out your grief card just yet. Okay, you got a lot more miles off that one that you use. So, um, everyone goes to bed and now it's the next morning and Josh is making breakfast. And, um,

people are setting things up. He almost gets bunked with a nod. No pun intended. Wow. That was very funny. And then Shannon Bador at home watching. That was a very funny joke. Wow. A naughty boy.

Okay. Well, I'm going to go back to watching this television show on my own because I'm alone. So Sandy is going to move the boat close to the castle because that's what they're going today. And she goes, well, we're headed to Tasa de Marr, where there's a medieval town and the guests will go ashore and they're going to see a castle and tour the town and it's going to be really stunning and beautiful and with any luck they'll have good receptions they can watch wind on on some antenna tv up there okay they don't have cable up in the old castle but season finale is coming up i don't want them to miss a beat so nathan is

showing v how to haul the anchor and she's like yeah like with the with everything going on with Joe, I'm just like going to double down on my work because I have an opportunity to establish a career on deck. And right now, that's all that matters. So people are waking up while Via is very determined to establish her career. Do it. And Kizzy's going to be going on the excursion because she hasn't really got on an excursion this season. And then we cut back to Captain Sandy, who's really happy. And she says, you know, at the end of this, they're going to be saying, give me.

Tasa del Moore instead of Tasa del Mar. You may have forgotten that we're going to Tata del Mar. So if you change out Marr, it becomes more because they want to go to, they want to do more of it because it's a good excursion. You know, I think what I think that maybe you should be more, you should watch some more sitcoms, come back to me and then you'll get my joke. Oh, wait, wait, wait, hold on. A word from my imposter syndrome. Hey, can we get a little cartoon? Oh, there she is.

There she is. It's me. It's me. She looks just like me. She's gorgeous, isn't she? You're hilarious. No, you're hilarious. You are so funny. Do that Casadele-Morthing again. No, you do it again. That's your joke. I'm not going to steal that. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You know what's funny? Most imposter syndromes are internal, but I have the privilege of actually just being Norma's imposter syndrome. Hold on one second. Hey, Norma. Hey, just want to let you know, you're doing a terrible, terrible job at your job. Okay. Great. Bye. Okay, wow, great joke, Bill Fraudspie. Okay?

Loser. Martinean Navratilova called. She wants her haircut back. Gigi Fernandez called and says, you still aren't an Olympian Norma. So quit dreaming. Hey, everyone else called and said, Who the fuck is Gigi Fernandez anyway?

Okay. Get more famous friends, loser. Everyone knows her more than Norma, whoever she is. That's for sure. Oh, really? Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

Wait, I'm not, sorry. I had a moment of doubt, which is crazy since I'm the imposter syndrome for Norma, and I'm not supposed to have the doubt. It's against my brand. Sorry. You go, you go under an cancer syndrome. You can't even doubt right. You can't even doubt right.

Had to lose her. So now breakfast is being served. And the guests are talking about how Dr. Kelly is sleeping because it's the first time she's away from her kids. She does never get any sleep. And then it just cuts to her door and we hear snoring. And it's like, exhausted mom sleeping.

And you know, every time someone snores on the show, it's the post-production layering in a sound effect from like the Envato suite of like cinema tools. I mean, it's just they, and they do it to everyone. They're like, oh, Dr. Kelly finally gets to sleep. It's like a slide whistle and like an audience applause. Do you owing owing. Bloop, bloop.

So Nathan is telling Max, we go to the swim deck and Max scares him. And he's like, oh, look at this. The boss here. And Nathan is telling him to deflate the naughty boys. And he ignores Max's attempt at lightheartedness because Max is like, oh, we have fun together. Oh, you are boss. I am boss too.

We are like two bars together. Oh, look at these. He's like trying to start on a good foot. But Nathan's like, I hate you now. Yeah, Nathan is not having it at all. And then V goes into the galley and she goes, she goes right by Aisha and Kizzy and she doesn't say anything. So then Kizzy turns to Aisha and goes, is she okay? And then Aisha's like, oh yeah, she's really angry, which I think is fair, because you both said you don't regret what you did, which is really shit.

It's like, oh God, it's not, it's going to be awkward. It's just going to be awkward and all day on this fucking thing. and she's like, just be nice. And so she rolls her eyes. She's like, oh, I go out again. I go out again. Fuck this. Because Kizzi is fishing for Aisha to say, oh, she's having a tough time.

But look, you guys are adults. It's no big deal. Everything's okay, Kizzy. And Aisha's like, yeah, well, you guys, what she did was shit. So anyway, you can live with that now. Goodbye. Was it later? Do they bring this up again later?

Because doesn't she say something like, well, what? Like, I've already, like, I can't do anything else. Like, yeah, but you were a dumb bitch. So, you know, she just keeps that love that. She just reiterates it to her. She's like, no, you're a dumb bitch. So just say sorry and try and move on. I love Aisha's smiling read season.

That's all she does. Maybe to Gizzy. It's so funny. So then Aisha just looks at her and she goes, good stuff. And walks off and gets like, oh, fuck. She has no respect for Kizzy, and I love it. Like remember when she was just talking shit about Kizzy right in front of her in the hot tub? She's like, this is what she does.

She just steals other men because she's very insecure. It's like, I heard that. She's like, oh, I meant it. Yeah. I say it to face, if that helps. I thought it would be more comfortable while you had a jet up your butt crack to hear something like that. But if you'd like to hear it now, I can do it on the radio if you'd like. I think you're absolutely wonderful, an absolutely lovely girl.

And all those other things are true too. So my favorite line. So now Aisha's talking. Oh, no, first Captain Sandy's talking to Kathy because Kathy goes to clean her room or whatever. And she's like, hey, listen, you good? She's like, I'm good. Because it's okay if you're not good. No, I'm good.

Look at Norma. She's never been good. Anything, really. God. You ever tried playing scrabble with her? One time she tried to make a word and it was Fleurutzumbotsam. That's not a word. I looked it up.

It's not a word. It's not good at anything. I'm like, what sort of imposter syndrome do you have that's not checking you on for her hops and bopson? Like, why would you even write that down? Where was your imposter syndrome? Well, I thought that you said you were an imposter syndrome. Oh, I guess I was.

I guess I kind of failed at my job. But I'm the imposter syndrome. And I'm failing at my job as an imposter. What does that mean? Do I have... Oh, wait, hold on. My imposter has something to say, what is it?

You're so great. You don't know anybody, nothing. Norma's bad at everything. Thank you. You're so good. Helicasta de Moore joke again. You do it. You do it.

Hey, Kathy, one more thing. Yes? I hate chocolate. There you go. Extra imposter syndrome for you, too. So now Aisha is talking to Max, and she's asking what, him and Kathy are going to do.

He's like, oh, blah, we need to, like, talk about this because I like her. I see, I like how she act with me. I'm seeing a new reason of love. Like, I can believe it. You know what I mean? And this, like, warm inside me. I really like her. I cannot wait to introduce her to the mother who hates me.

We'll probably hang up phone and not come to dinner. But who needs mother? I have a girlfriend now. Oh, we're going to get married. We're going to a beep, beep, beep, boom upon. I cannot wait. he is like it's too much it's just too much i mean he really is like a stunted 15 year old not even 15 i'm gonna i'm gonna take him down to 13 like the way he the way he behaves the way

he like listens to direction the way he's like all in with with kathy it's like like somewhere along the line someone hit pause on max and forgot to take their fit go go back and press play again because he is he is a stunted man okay so aisha's just like you know with scott and i Ever since we got together, like I was with them for like two weeks, and then I was with them for seven weeks, and then for like a month, and then away for a month, and then three days, and then six days, and there was one weekend, and then eight weeks after that,

then 17 weeks, and then there was one month, and then six half days. It's like, okay, Asia, we get it. You guys are honestly, you guys had time away from each other. Yeah, but we made it work. Oh, yeah, you made you all still together. I think if it's the right person, you make it work. But I know, I know she is a one.

We need to talk about this. You know, the moment that I knew that Scott would be for me was that one time when he was professing his love to me, I just couldn't look away from him and some strangers started throwing chicken nuggets at our faces, and I couldn't even let that distract me, which just goes to show that I loved him in that moment. Because if I didn't love him, I would walk away and go after those chicken nuggets. Anyway, that's something for you to think about for some unforeseeable future event. Hold on. My imposter syndrome is talking to me. Did I accuse Max in the beginning of this episode at throwing chicken nuggets?

You did. Why didn't you correct me? What is wrong with me? And why was I so into that? And why did I just realize what I did? That's so stupid. I don't know why I got so infuriated with Max. Max didn't even do that.

Well, you know what? I'm losing my fucking love. And I figured, you know what, when we come back to that scene, we have a moment. Don't let me do that. I figure you would just have your own moment where you would say, oh, you know what? I was saying Max, but I meant so-and-so. And I just was like, I was just going to let it slide.

I was like, I didn't want to. No, we can't even release this episode. Like, that was huge. No, you have to tell me. I mean, what the hell? You're just letting me walk into the middle of the street and get hit by all the traffic. Because you were being, like, entertaining. And I didn't want to, I didn't want to, I don't want to stop it.

Well, started, whoever quit this podcast. If you have a friend, you quit this podcast. podcast because Ronnie's such a fucking moron tell him at least he realized he's a fucking moron halfway through or a third of the way through. I don't know. We're an hour old. Now look who has the imposter syndrome. You're like, did that happen?

Find Daily Bet Midler, Jabba the Hut, and Columbo just all told me what a piece of shit I am. You know, it would have been good. I need them to have an imposter syndrome to tell them what pieces of shit they are for not criticizing me earlier when I was doing it. But anyway, sorry everybody. But I really believed in my head for that moment.

Max was down on the dock throwing up chicken nuggets at himself, I guess. Yeah. No, that didn't, that didn't happen. Now I feel bad as a podcast co-host because I have my imposter syndrome telling me that I'm, I'm not good at this. And then my imposter syndrome just went off to work at Badlands National Park. I'm like, get, could you just get into a house and just criticize me from one location,

please, Francis? Why is she always in her man? So now, Joe goes to the crew to talk about. V, just to talk to V or whatever. And she's just like looking at papers. And he's like, oh, are you doing? Are you studying? She's like, yeah.

It's like, where are you going? The castle? She's like, ah. So he walks away because she won't give him any energy. Good for her. Yeah. Good for her. So now he's like, I'm noticing that Victoria has given me the cold shoulder.

Oh, wow. Master of observation. We're going to start calling Sherlock Holmes over there. That's huge. So, Joe now goes up to the galley with Kathy and Josh, and Kizzy is whispering to Joe. She's like, we're in trouble again. Because of all of flirting and all the dancing.

Is it crazy? My God, the romantic, no one thought would happen. Here it is, about to have them. It was so bad, which is so bad, aren't we? So then he's like, well, I mean, she's the one who said that we shouldn't carry on. And I still want to have fun for the rest of the season. And there's nothing wrong with me wanting to have a bit of fun. It's just laugh and banter.

Sir, it's just doesn't care if you want to have laugh or fun. It's that you did something wrong here. You make it seem like she out of the blue just decided to halt the entire relationship because she is just a crazy woman with mercurial mood swings. It's like, no, you fucked up. And now she lost respect for you. And now you're like mad at her for it. Like, bro, be consistent.

Yeah, well, he is consistent. Yeah, he is he, I will say, Joe is consistent. So, it's a lot about Joe, but can't call him inconsistent. He's pretty consistent. So now they're like, this is so awkward, you know, because now V is stuck. V comes outside to get some fresh air and they're just standing there. And so they have to kind of stand there together. And then she goes inside and like, oh, awkward.

So now V and Kizzy are with the guests. And Kizzy's like, would you like me to lie about the facts about the area? And so V laughs and she just starts making up, making upset. You know, it's like King Arthur laid down this road, tried to date me, couldn't get me. That was something. I missed her saying that she was going to make up the facts. I think it must have got distracted in that one moment. So when she was saying these facts, I was like, wow, that's so interesting that,

wow, Kizzy did her research for this as her first excursion. So she took the time to like understand where she was going. Of course she wouldn't do that. Of course, she would just blatantly lie and mislead people, because that's who Kizzy is. And that's my issue with Kizzy is that, like, for all of her upfront moments, there's also a lot of, like, shifty untruths. And if she could get away with lying, she would. Like, if she could have gotten away with never telling V that she kissed Joe, she would have.

But then Joe felt guilty. And so it had to come out. But, like, that's the thing. That's the thing that, you know, like, we can talk about, like, oh, God, feel bad for Kizzy because, you know, her mom, like, she grew up with, like, wanting, to have a male figure and love, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. but she's still a fucking liar, okay, and she's duplicitous. I'm sorry. And so is, well, yeah, feeling bad for it in that moment doesn't mean I don't, I think she's good.

I mean, she's like, we forget that like there's a lying component here as well. Like she's on, she's on. There are certain moments where she's very blunt and it gives the veneer of her being a truth teller, but she's not a true teller. And I think it's like kind of shitty that you people who pay money to come on to a yacht, you just make up facts as they go on their excursion. That's like, that's bad. I think. That's like really bad. I'm like more angry that she told them that King Arthur made a road in medieval

medieval Spain than about anything else in this season. I was like, well, the cheating is one thing. But the King Arthur lies. I will not say it by that. The tour guiding her straight to hell. Strike to hell. Because those people will go off

to a cocktail party and they will say something like, well, we went to this great castle where the road was built by King Arthur himself. Well, no, she told them she was lying, right? She did? Yeah, she's like, do you want me to make up facts? So it was like a joke that she's like walking around, making up the facts.

Oh, I thought she was telling V. Okay, well, you know what? I can't deal with it anymore. I'm rubbed up and I want to rant. And then max three chicken nuggets in everybody's head. Hold on. Let me check it with my imposter syndrome. What do you think you're doing?

Going on rants about some poor girl because she's mentioned King Arthur's name. What's wrong with you? Now, excuse me. I got to wrap some presents for Amazon because it's Christmas time. And it's that time of year for me. But they, yeah, she's just fucking around. But V actually did study, which we saw her doing earlier in the galley, presumably. So she is giving them real facts.

And so at least there's somewhere there who's making an effort. So then we go back to the boat where Max, Nathan, and Joe are on the swim platform. And Joe's like, I'm a bit sorry. I mean, she's upset. And Nathan says, bro, stop flirting with kids. is it's closing too much drama in our department. Now, of course, it was fine when two days before I wanted to bang her. While you did, that was totally fine.

But, you know. It was fine, actually, because there was no drama that came out of that, the department. But this time it is. And Joe goes, I'm just being myself. Oh, okay, never mind then. You're just being you. And God forbid anyone impinges on the sacrosanct quality of your personality in favor.

of getting the job done. We'll just stop everything. Let's just crash this boat because you're being you and God forbid anyone challenges that. Like I don't care if you're being you, you're in a job right now, be the best employee you can be and shut your personality down for a second because this isn't a talent show. This is you bringing in lines and this is if you're, if you're going to inflate a slide, you being you doesn't matter. Inflate, put your lips on that nozzle and blow. Yeah. Um, so, He's like, but I'm just being myself. It's just playful banter.

Look, let me put my teeth together to show you. I'm just a kid showing you that he brushed its teeth. And then Max's like, no, it's one and a half. He's like, yes, she's one and a half. I got to be me. Okay? I just can't help but be me on these one and half chargers. He really, he really has a reverse imposter syndrome, and that's a real problem.

We need to get Francis McDormand and Sandy into his head because he has got too much confidence about everything that he does. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels.

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