Watch What Crappens - #3160 Below Deck Med S10E16 Part 2: Ba Da Ba Ba Ba - Not Luvin’ It

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapIt’s a chicken McNugget drama as deep fried projectiles interrupt Max and Cathy on Below Deck Mediterranean.  Meanwhile, Joe and Kizzi work overtime to make V seem like a crazy clinger.  We don’t.  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. Yeah, so now we cut back to the guests and they see a big square hole in the castle. And one of them's like, oh, it's a Spanish glory hole. So they all start laughing. And now they go to a restaurant and Kizzy and Kizzi and v. are like, do you want us to just leave you alone? So you guys? And they're like, yes, please. So they have to sit together. So they just sit on this little bench. Like, oh, God. So, Kizzi says, so Aisha said you wanted to chat with me again. She's like, yeah, because like the whole thing, like, I was missing before. Is it like, you guys said you just had like a quick little makeout and it was an accident because you were drunk?

But, I mean, like, it seems like maybe it was more than that. Like, I thought to myself, nah. And Kizzy's like. well, we have flirted since the day he got on board. You know that. And, like, you can see that. And, like, everyone can see that, right? And, like, he couldn't have been more clear about the fact that it's not serious

and that he doesn't want anything after six weeks, you know. So I don't understand why you're so upset. And she's like, why I'm so upset? Yeah, because if it's something that never would have happened for you guys, like, she's basically like, why are you acting so crazy? Why did you get your, like, hopes up that this was going to be something more than, like, what happened on this charter season? But like disregarding the fact that Joe spent much of her time and our time talking about how special this was and how he doesn't want to have the expiry date anymore on this relationship when the season's over.

Right. And so if he's like, well, I mean, I would think that like people who work with me and are supposed to be my friends would have more respect for me. And because he kind of gets a roll her eyes face. She's like, yeah. And I wish that was different, but I guess it's not. And Kizzy's just like, yeah. So. Yeah.

It's shocking. It's not shocking, but it is shocking. But it's not shocking to me how Kizzy and Joe don't seem to understand why V is like upset. And what's funny is that they know why she'd be upset because that because when she was away, they spent two days stressing and crying. Well, he cried. And they were like pacing and nervous. So if I had to guess, I would say that Kizzy feels. that she was flirting with Joe first,

and Vee knew that when she started hooking up with Joe. And they talked about what a fuck boy he was, whatever. So then when V started hooking up with Joe, Kizzy was just like, okay, well, I guess you're going to hook up with Joe now. Like she didn't get mad at her for hooking up with Joe. So I think Kizzy's like, well, I had him first, and you took him from me and I didn't get mad. And now that you got rid of him and I'm taking him back,

why are you mad? Like he was mine first. And I get why that's stupid logic, but I think that that's how Kizzy's thinking of it in her head. I think Joe's way worse because Joe was the one like, oh, but you're the only one for me now. I can't think of anybody else. And this is it. This is it. I'm a different man.

You know, Joe did all that stuff. But Kizzy's like, I mean, it's a fuck boy. It's like we're sharing a bowl of popcorn and you're mad that I'm like eating the popcorn too. Like it's both of our popcorn. Yeah. I mean, Kizzy at least is a little bit more honest about her intentions, which I do appreciate, believe it or not, despite my rant that was, had no good foundation because it was based off of a King Arthur situation that I misunderstood. But she is being more honest about it, but Joe is not. And the fact that they just, I just think it's the reason why they're acting like she's crazy, obviously is because they don't want to, they have a hard time seeing themselves as the bad people in the situation.

But they know they're the bad people in the situation, which is why they were like Joe was crying. and that's why Kizzy was feeling regret and remorse, one that was not there. But then, so she gets back and then they have to actually deal with the consequences, the consequences of their actions. They don't like it, so now they're going to make it seem like V is some crazy, rational person for daring to be upset that this entire situation unfolded between her, the guy she was banging and, like, her friend, who she's sort of besties with on the boat. Yeah.

Yeah. So Kizzy's like, well, I can't help it. I need to explore what's happening between me and Joe. I regret it if I don't. I don't want to have regrets. Oh, you're going to be filled with plenty of regrets. Yes. So V's like, I mean, you're never even going to be apologetic.

Like, you're not going to feel sorry about it or say anything. Like, I've looked at her Instagram. She hasn't cried once. I mean, this tells me who she is as a person. And like, like for myself, this is someone I would not want to be friends with afterwards. So whatever. And Kizzy's like, okay, well, we have a good connection. And it's fair for us to have explored that.

I mean, in a shit way, but still. And Vee's like, okay, but at the cost of my feelings, I mean, I guess I disagree, but you did it. She goes, nailed it. That's right. It was at the coast of your feelings. Bam. So, Sandy's on the boat and the swells are huge. And I guess are wrapping up their meals and everything.

And they're coming back to the boat. And Nathan is like, so, Aisha, did you have a chat with Vee earlier? And she's like, well, she said they were to it that they had a drunken kiss. And they're like, yeah, that's bullshit. And she's like, I know. So Nathan's like upset about this. And he's like, I'm going to fucking call it out if I see it. And she's like, well, I was going to go.

Well, I was like, you're going to go. You're going to get spoken to. And I was like, just be noise. He's like, I can't stand for it. I will not stand for this. So, um, Asia's like, oh, Nathan's. Growing up, it's just really beautiful to watch. And he's like, how the fuck if I become the mature responsible one out of this group?

I don't know that anybody would accuse you of that. Yeah, I'm like, I've seen your social media. I'm not sure I would say you're the mature, responsible adult to this group right now. But that's okay. So now they go, they go pick up Kizzy and V. And Captain Sandy is like, whoa. it's really windy out there. God, it's,

it's windier than the empty queue of men that Norma would have in her dating line. You see what I was trying to go for with that one? It's windier than the back in Norma's pants

after a black of cheese. Not much. It's windy. That was better. That was a good one. Very windy. Very windy. So now the tender goes to pick up the guests.

Kizzi's like, come save me from this awfulness. So Joe brings him back And of course he and Kizzy are flirting And V's just like, Jesus Christ These people really They're just Shameless

Shameless So now they all get back And Josh is complimenting his fish His one does And now it's water toy time And so Asia and Kizzy see each other Oh this is where it is So Kizzy's like

We had our chat She goes Are we at peace now? She goes oh yeah No no we're at peace But also I'm young and single I mean what am I meant to do? And she goes

Not being a little bitch. I'm not being a little bitch. But you were a little bitch. You were. I've changed. I've changed. No, I don't think you change. I apologize.

Well, that's good. Well done. Well done. Thank you, mother. Thank you. Wow. I apologize and I meant it. No, you didn't mean it.

But that's okay, darling. And then it cuts to Aisha and the confessional just rolling your eyes. She's like, Really? Really? So then Josh is like, can I squeeze in your front? Can I just get by here for a second? And then because he's like, you're the only one I haven't ticked off Josh, which is funny because he's, he's hot, he's hot on Watch What Happens Live.

And so then Josh, then she's like, jokes, you know, remember we did, she says something about like, basically talking about their flirtations. Like, you're the only one who wasn't got. mad at me and he's like will i play hard to get which is funny for poor josh the easiest to get you're hard to get any yeah uh so then um now we go to nathan facetime and gale so i have to say with everything going on on these shows the nathan crying to gale part is the worst so you know how i always complain on here when friends get married and they're like if you don't behave you are not coming to my wedding it becomes a year of them holding their wedding over everybody's head like

oh really well someone's not coming to my wedding party and now nathan is kind of doing that but it's his sister's wedding it's like oh i've got something really important to run by you maybe i could come to ireland and come to my sister's wedding i was wow what a fucking offer the offer was the offer was supposed to be that you come back on the boat and fire max not that you take your your kale to your sister's wedding and how awkward gosh i don't know no no i would also the offer of like you're in this relationship with somebody where you never see each other, and then you ghost her because you're never in the same place, and so your solution is for her to come to you again. Exactly. And so she's like, you'll see this waiting? And he's like, yeah, are you sure you want me

there? What? Gail, the question should not be, are you sure you want me there? She says that almost as if like she's some taboo, scarlet letter. It was like, no. She'd be like, are you sure you won't ghost me between now and then? That should be the question. I think she's saying, like, are you sure I'm important enough to come to this extremely important event? And he's like, you've won. You've won the golden ticket. She's like, let me think about this. So he says that after the season, me and Gail went to Ireland and Gail met my family. And they think the world of her.

And now that my sister's getting married after the season, I just hope she might come with me. Jesus Christ, I've got no idea. Oh, but I've just done something huge. I've invited somebody on a date that I don't have to pay for. And the producer's like, wow, you're really nervous right now. He's like, what do you mean? Like, you're picking at tape from the floor. He's like, oh, God, what have I done to myself?

I'm picking up the tape. Oh, man, this is crazy. You know, tape, it's so addicted to pick up. And they're like, so, yeah, so Gail, huh? I miss her. I love Gail. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial.

So then V sees this, and she was like, oh my god, that was like so cute. Like, you like smile when she talks. That's like so cute. And it's like, I fuck off. So now three of the guests are on a tube and they tip over. And so then Ayesha goes to see Josh in the galley and talks about dinner. And he's like, well, it's plated.

We're doing onion lattes with lobster. Lotties. Lotties. I mean, lotties. After that is delicious. You never know. It's chefery. After that's a red snapper dish, it's going to be a benga, a real benga. And she's like, oh, yo. Someone bit up against it as always. She's like, okay, bye. You got your five minutes of camera

time for the episode. Now moving on. So, Max, some of the guests are on this, like, tube thing that is tied to Max's jet ski. And he's going to basically go tow them around at a high speed. Yeah, and or the tender. And he, they're like, go, go fast. Go super fast, Max. And he starts going really fast. And they're like zipping around and bouncing. And everyone's watching.

And Sandy's like, okay, Nathan, Nathan, tell Max to slow it down, okay? Tell Max to treat that tender like Norma's dating cue. Slow, okay, slow down, slow. But she's smiling. She's like, that wacky kid out there, what's going on? And Nathan's like, V tell Nathan to slow, tell Max to slow down.

She's like, okay, slow down. And he's like, oh, no speed now. I've got no speed. There's barely any speed going on here. I don't know what anybody expect of me. And Nathan's like, no, you're going way too fast. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but slow down. Just don't let them bounce wherever they get whiplash.

They'll get whiplash. And you see that he really is like swinging them everywhere. They are like they are bouncing all over the place. And then of course, eventually someone goes flying off, you know, and Max had two of them go flying off yeah still Max is fine it's like wow max is sure in trouble just put the guests in danger for the second time this episode oh okay god Max is so funny isn't he and and they're like wow when we hit the water that really hurt that's so fun he's like oh yeah so Nathan is like furious and then you know Nathan's you know he's like he's

He's mad at Max and Max is like, oh, he really think I'm a baby. It's like, you are a baby. You are a baby with a mustache. Get back to the boat. Well, if the guests ask you to go fast, you don't say no. The guests don't know the difference between going fast and slow on a fucking inner tube on back of a tender. Okay? They don't do that every day.

So Nathan's like, well, let's not safe and he's not listening. I'm absolutely human with him. So then Captain Sandy makes Max go and rescue the people. that he is flipped off of the two, but they're complaining that it hurts. And so he's in trouble. So let's see what happens. Nothing. Spoiler, like, nothing.

So now Nathan goes and tells Joe, he's like, oh, you're the lead deckhand. So you've got to take control of this. He's out of control. And so what do you think Joe's going to do? He's going to be like, it's like, let's calm down. Do me one massive favor. I know you don't do it, but don't go too fast. Just calm down a little bit.

Come down. Yeah, but I think a little, but there's a wave. I wasn't going fast. It's just the waves make it look like it's going fast. It's like, no, I know what you mean. Thanks for understanding. I'm like, okay, you guys are all idiots. All three of you.

It's time for you to go. So Max, after all of that, what he got was an incredibly powerful. Thank you. So there you go. There you go, guys. So now everyone's getting ready for the night. It's a mannequin thing. It's like another decoration or putting mannequins.

everywhere. It's a night. Yeah. Jewels on their face and stuff like that. And so Captain checks in with Josh. She's like, hey, Josh, listen, I just want you to know, I saw a little cartoon skinny person with really good hair. Can we hire that guy?

What's his name? And so Josh is like, he's like, my mind, my natural state is always questioning myself. And, you know, Josh, you ain't going to be able to manage all that. You ain't going to be able to put Red Snapper on a plate, Josh. You're not going to be able to do too much. But Dominic, go fuck yourself. I'm doing a full-plated meal tonight, and I ain't going to fucking fail. You watch.

It's like, oh, okay. You sure told that animated character, what's up when you put the fish on the plate and survive the odds of being able to do such things. Yeah. So then, Kizzy and Kathy are in a cabin cleaning, and Kizzy picks up something that looks like a bottle. It looks like a scrubber, like a toilet scrubber. And she's like, is this a vibrator? Is it? No, I don't, I don't know of any like toilet scrubber brush vibrators.

That would be, I imagine unpleasant. But why would you carry around a toilet brush as a guest? You know, people have different needs and different kinks. And some people are like, can't wait to get on that yacht and clean some toilets. I love some yachty cosplay. Maybe. Okay. So first course comes out and it's Bisk and an analudi pasta with the butter nut puree. And the guys start, we are but

alone. This is amazing. And Joe checks in with Nathan and Nathan's still fuming about Max. And Joe goes, well, I can see both sides. And he goes, how can you see a side? He's like, well, I can understand when you're in the waters, you know, has a lot. There's waves. There's water. There's fish in there. You know, we don't see him that often, but it doesn't mean they're not there. Have you ever thought about that? This is a bullshit response.

You can see both sides? No, what's the other side of your boss saying, slow down the boat and you don't slow down the boat? What is the other side of that? Because I don't really understand that. So Nathan does not like this. He's like, what the fuck is that? And then there's more food coming out and the snapper and a sauce with white wine and tomatoes and some peppers. And everyone really likes it.

And this one guy is like, so we went to. two other Michelin restaurants this week before we came here and literally this is 10 times better. I mean, admittedly, it was more just like a vending machine in a Michelin store. We got new tires is what we're saying, but this is better than the vending machine. So kudos to the chef. Really? Wow, plated meals and dinner just elevates everything. And so she tells Josh, they said that they went to Michelin restaurant.

Could you just speed it up? I'm trying to cook here. They loved your food. They loved it. And he's like, fucking love that. He's like, did you hear that, Dominic? Did you hear those comments? And he goes, mate.

He goes, yeah, exactly. Shut your trap. It's like, oh, for sex sake. So then everyone's wrapping up their stuff for the day and cabins are done, everything. And Kathy is happy that she didn't cry today. She's like, I got my British back. I didn't cry, even though it was two days after a severe trauma. So, Tuddle-oo.

my room. And Max is like, I want to go with you before bed. And she's like, okay, cool. So he's like, mademoiselle, so we need to chat. She's like, oh God, what do you want to chat about? He's like, well, what are we? What? What are we? Are you saying what are yes? No, that was all. That was English way, not French way. Keep up. She's like, so you're singing it now, are you? He's like, well, it is easier to sing about something than to speak about something. And she goes, Well, serious, when you make it less serious, is that what you're saying? He's like, oh, you're missing the point. She goes, please, please, don't ask me to be your girlfriend.

He's like, oh? She goes, I would just love to really not rush things completely. You know, if you want to have a conversation about it, not just being a season thing. I mean, maybe some other night, you know, maybe tomorrow and I'd after dinner. I don't know. It's not now, please. Please. Could you, like, not suffocate this girl, like, two days after she found out that her stepfather, who she loved died?

Could you just, like, give her some space? for a minute, bro. Yes, just to have some time. Okay. So she's like, well, I mean, I do like him, but I'm not ready to have this conversation. You know, I mean, do we have to rush things? I mean, you're not on a speedboat. Get it.

Kathy Byrne. I'm here. I'm learning. I'm learning. So Joe is, he's like, he's in a DJ costume. He's like in his abyss of these DJ costume, which is like shiny and showing up his arms and stuff. And he comes through the crew mess. and Vee just sees him and I was like, ugh.

And he's like, he's like, oh, why don't you come? Watch me do my DJ set. And she's like, um, no, just enjoy the attention, which was beautifully barbed. He's like, I do it for the tip, darling. So, because he's like, what are you doing, DJing? And he goes, yeah, I'm pretending to be DJ. And she goes, oh, God, I've never been so attracted to you in my life. He's like, I know this.

So I know, seeing this right, look at this. And Nathan's like, mentor. It's mental. So Kathy and Max say good night. And Joe's DJing and Via's watching. She's just totally disgusted. And Kizzy, of course, comes right behind Joe. And it's like, you know, she's like on him in the DJ booth.

And he's on her. And V is just like, I hate these people. Yeah. So Nathan checks on V and he's like, I'm here if you need me. And then it's time for everyone to go to bed. And Kizzy is talking to. to Joe and she's like, oh my God, did you have today's chat? And he goes, no, it's just like Victoria, give me a break man.

I mean, we tried something. It didn't work out. Cool. We've got, we can have a laugh and make a joke and the story. Are you good? And Nathan can hear this. It's such an amazing, like a brazen rewriting of the situation. Like, oh, we just tried something.

You, like, took selfies with her. You, like, told your mom about her. You know, you promised to take her back to meet your mom. Like, you sold her the whole story. And now it's like, oh, it's just. We tried something fun and it didn't work out. Let's laugh about it. I'm like, laugh about it.

You're the one who was sobbing in the bathroom. We all watched you. So Nathan is like, you know what? It's probably best if you're, just be mindful on the night out. Be mindful with her, you know? And he said, but we're not together. Obviously she wants something more. I mean, she's crazy cuckoo lady, strings attached, needy, clingy.

Stage 5 clinger, you know what I'm saying. And if it affects you so much then like, then it's wrong. So it really was never good in the first place because she was way too invested. cuckoo for cocoa buffs yeah he's like so you're looking for something serious you know and he goes just stop wouldn't it wouldn't do that to one of my friends and then fucking saying oh just get over it it's not that fucking intense i mean well it might be to her and he's like well i just want to have fun and goes just keep it in your fucking trousers that's the last that he'll be getting involved commercials here comes one right now uh so nathan's like i know joe doesn't want to hear what i'm

I'm telling him about V, but I have to make him aware because that's what a true friendship is. I'm like, also, you're his boss, and this whole thing is messing up your department. So, but sometimes you have to tell each other, shit, you don't want to hear. So, Joe's like, I mean, fuck me. If I tracked kissing and shit like and done it in her face, all right. But anyway, I mean, we're not even together. I mean, anyway, whatever. We're not together.

We're not together. Yeah. So now with the final day of the charter, they're hauling in the anchor to go back to the court and everything and V is feeling a little bit better. And she's being a little bit more cordial with Joe. She gets something from Joe. And so Joe goes up to her. They're at their anchoring positions.

And Joe's like, Victoria, I'm back here with you today. And like, you know, and then I'll run off. Okay. So I just want to say, hey, the time that we had, no one's going to take that away from me anyway. Like I learned a lot from you as well. And it's just, I want in the future, what you want in the future. What we want are very different things.

And like you said, you wanted no strings attached. But obviously, there were strings attached. Oh, wow. Okay, so now you're trying to break up with her. You were broke, she broke up with you already. She dumped you last week. So why are you acting like you're breaking up with her? You fucking weirdo.

Yeah. She's like, yeah, but like what you and Kizzy did to me, I don't think that like friends would do that to each other. And he's like, a drunken kiss. I can't even remember. I mean, come on. And she just like gives him a look. And he's like, I care for your well-being on this boat more than anything,

which is why I couldn't even remember your birthday when you said I'm leaving this boat because the birthday, my birthday is the day that my boyfriend died but I didn't remember. This guy is like, I'm just so sensitive. But I promise, you know, nothing, and nothing's going to happen on this boat with Kizzy. I promise you, I'm not going to hold, I'm going to hold my word to it.

I'm going to hold, I'm going to hold me word. He's just mad that she's mad at him. He doesn't, he's uncomfortable with people being mad at him. And he, and he either has to find resolution, and he was not able to find resolutions or he has to villainize her. So that's what he's doing. He's making her seem like the crazy person. And she's like,

V tells us, this is crazy because like, quote, unquote, I'm such a good person. I'm going to promise not to hurt you again. And it's true. It is such a manipulation by Joe's part.

He's like, but I'm such a respectful man. I'm very conscious of people's feelings. She's like, wow, what did you? He fucking joker. Yeah.

So now it's time to doc. And Joe's like, it wasn't my intention to hurt you, honestly. She goes, okay, well, I don't know what you want me to say. So they're tying up the lines and throwing the lines to the dock and all that good stuff. And Kizzy scares Aisha. And now the guests are, you know, talking about how much fun this was and how they used to always have fun before fucking kids.

And now it's time to go. Yeah. So the guests leave. They give them tips and everything. And now it's time for the tip meeting. All right, everyone. Charter 8. Right? Charter ate well more like it with that plate of food. Good job, Josh. I'm just so proud of you all. Well done on the themes. Okay. Great work. And the chef, Josh, you really, you really did a great job. Thank you for not wearing the clown makeup when you served the guests. That was really appreciated by everyone on board. Just the way that you took those round things in the galley. I think they're called plates. And you actually put food on top of them. I haven't seen anybody do that before. You really went a ball.

above and beyond today. Wow. I know it was hard to put eight pieces of fish on their own little plates instead of eight pieces of fish on one big platter. But you did it. You overcame. Yeah, you sure did. He's like, I was, I was very proud of the food that I served as charter, and they really appreciated it. So, flick my hair a little bit. There you go. Okay. Just tell your hot friend, he's got a job whenever he wants it. I love cartoons. So they get a $27,000 tip. which is basically 2450 per person. And now they're cleaning up the boat to go out and everything.

And Kizzy is really excited, you know, and Kathy's telling Kizzy like, ugh, I think that Max wants to have a chat with me tonight. She's like, oh, is he going to say, you be my girlfriend? She's like, it's a bit quick, isn't it? I mean, it's disgusting. It's almost like he's American.

Ugh, get him out of my face. It's like, well, how do you feel about that? I don't want to answer. I just in the moment, we'll see how I feel, I guess. So Max is like, oh, boy, I'm going to make exclusive. He's like, oh, wow. So they fist bump and stuff. To beyond an infinity.

Buzzid Lightyard. I was at first, like, laughing at his broken English, but then I realized they're probably not allowed to say the true phrase without Disney suing them. So like, okay, reverse it, Max. Reverse it, then say it on camera. So everybody gets ready to go on, and Aisha is telling Kizzy she looks great, because Kizzy's, He's like, oh, my God. Do I look good? I don't even know my look on.

She's like, you look like, Jenny from the blog. She's like, who's that? I was hanging out with a 33-year-old, and Whitney Houston was playing, and we're like, do you know this song? And he's like, yeah, like, do you know who sings it? He's like, I'm blanking on her name. And I'm like, you're blanking on her name.

And he's like, yeah, I don't really remember it. He's like, well, I don't really listen to this older music unless I'm hanging out with you guys. And I was like, this friendship is over. Well, you just brought up Whitney Houston in a Jennifer Lopez conversation. So I think this friendship might be over. A lot of friendships I'm going over this today. I'm there you.

I just am laughing at the idea that kids who would even know who Jenny from the block is. So they are all out and they're partying and they're having fun. and they all are going to the restaurant and everything. And Joe is talking about the dancing with Kizzy. He's like, Kizzy taught me quite an easy dance. It took me two hours instead of hers. And she's like, yeah, you did a really great job. And if I normally dance for the guy that hasn't danced,

I wouldn't even be able to do that in one, two, three or four hours. And that's what's so confusing. So you've been like, you've got the right brain for it, Joe. And they just keep on like complimenting each other on the great dancing that they did. And they're being like very touchy and laughy and flirty and like right in front of me. Yeah, she just rolls her eyes. And Aisha's watching this, like, what the hell? And Max is, now Max is like, Madam Mouvaire, I want to drink with you, Cassie.

And she's like, okay, just not now. And he's, but I want to, wait, what? She's like, just not whilst we're here, please. Chat later. Okay, yeah, I would love to have this chat. You know, preferably over FaceTime while we're in different countries, so it would be easier for me to just kind of hang up, you know. preferably in a place where I have no reception. That'll be great.

Because every time he says, Mademoiselle, it's like, okay, that means he's gearing up to ask you to be his girlfriend. And she's like, no, no, no, no, don't speak. Don't speak. So everyone's talking. And Kizzy's like, first Kizzy licks her spoon in a suggestive way. And then she's like, by the way, guys, what's all the different ways? What are some different ways to say blow job?

And there's just kind of a pause, like, oh, God. you know because of course it's like kizzy of course and joe answers so he's like sucky sucky 4,000 i never heard of that and joe's like jolly raw jaw and the two of them are cracking each other up and everyone's just grossed out by them so v goes to have a cigarette break she's like i just don't need any of this and she's feeling like oh you got kathie and max over here having a moment you've got joe and kizzy Josh, she's like, I mean, I wish there was just a chef for me even to talk to just about food, but we don't even have one of those. I mean, anything, anything, if there was anyone else with a penis around here. So, of course, Kizzy sees, Kizzy and Joe sees that she got up and was obviously annoyed.

So what do they do? They're going to go dance for her right in front of her where she went to get away from them. Because they're that fucking needy of attention. Like even the bad kind of like what they redo their dance They're just so stupid yeah they're just so stupid So they do that and she's like it's like whatever What do you even say to this you know? Yeah and aisha's like this is just a very thinly veiled excuse to touch each other And sneak around back on the boat like decent assholes. Okay, you don't have to do it this way Just snake around

What happened with that? And then Kizzy's like, oh my God, my boob came out. My boob came out, everyone. Look, don't look, but look. And then she tells us this. It makes me really happy to see how happy it makes Joe when he gets to dance. I feel like there's anyone on this boat that I could actually pursue something with. It would be Joe.

But not now. I think maybe we'll just get married in 20 years. This makes me happy when I see him get to dance. Like, no, it does, like, whatever she's trying. She's trying to actually elevate this, that it's. It's not just about hooking up. So, like, this is actually about something deeper and more emotional. So V gets upset, like V is the crazy person because V is getting upset at genuine human connection right now.

That's basically what she's trying to say. And there's no... I've helped a man, a man who struggled with a loaf of bread and a real estate, bad real estate transaction. And I've brought him to art, which has left him able to walk again. She's elevating herself in this scenario quite a bit. And it's like, no, he just wants to be. to bang you. Yeah. So Nathan is like, you know, if you want to sit on a different side, I can change seats with you. And she's like, no, it's okay. And he's like, I don't understand how the man's

brain works. Fuck sakes, Joe, you need to think about what you're doing. So, and Kizzi's just like, well, I don't give a fuck. So now we go via Nathan and V's like, she just feels like an outcast at this point. And Nathan's like, you're far from it. So now they are going to start heading, they go back, They're going to start heading back to the boat and everything. Well, actually, first they're still, they're eating. They're at the restaurant. They're just doing stuff there. But they eventually start heading back to the boat.

And Aisha's putting an order in for McDonald's to be delivered to the boat. And Aisha orders a lot of chicken McNuggets, which Kathy, we find out later really, really wants. So, Joe, on the way back to the boat, like jumps on a signpost and starts, like, pole dancing. I love that we see the security people like, get the fuck off. of that. They were like, what are you doing? Get off of our sign.

So the hot tub's empty. Everybody's mad. And Kizzy is saying, like, I've never been so in love with you to Joe. And Max is now determined to have this talk, right? So Kizzy pops her head into Joe's cabin. And he's like, do you want to come in? And she's like, I shouldn't.

And he goes, God, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. She's like, we're not even doing anything. And he goes, because we can't. We can't do anything. Good night, me, lady. and he closes the door. They're like a really brave guy that they didn't do that

because that would have been really bad to be. He's painting himself as if he's in some epic romance where they're being kept apart by their stations in life. Okay, this is not remains of the day. You guys are just like they're told. It was like a lot of cholera

and I hope you both get it. I know. Just means keep it together for 48 more hours than you guys can do whatever you want. But like for right now, don't do it. So now Max is like, uh, it's got the, it is time time for the talk and she's like oh god so she's he's like they they wind up like

snuggled under a blanket on the deck and he's like well i thought i always thought love was a fucking trap and then i met you and you made me believe that it is possible again and that is why i want to propose something to you and she's like oh god great sounds wonderful so while they're having this conversation out on the dock joe and nathan are on the a doc and they're just being silly and drunk. And a delivery person shows up with all the McDonald's that was ordered. And they just tear into this bag of everyone else's food and just start eating it. Whatever they see, they just start to eat it.

Oh, disgusting behavior. And I would just like to point out that this is Joe and Nathan and not Nathan and Max as Ben had previously reported at the start of this recap. So, yeah, actually, when you were saying it, I thought you were saying it was all three of them, to be honest. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. So they start eating the food, which is gross. And then Joe and Nathan are eating nuggets and burgers, and Max and Kathy are upstairs talking. So Max is like, oh, I'm just going to focus on my career,

my career of tipping people over on Water Toy. But out of nowhere, a little angel came from the sky and their name, Kathy Skinner. Kathy Skinner. Very biblical, Kathy Skinner, the Archangel. I just want to know what is. happening after the season. And then Joe and Nathan, they're just drunk. They drop a nugget on the ground. And then Max is like, I have this question inside of myself. And I just want to talk to you

because I want to start something. She's like, um, um, I wish, dear God, I don't often. I'm not a very religious person, but if you could send some sort of miracle thing to let me get out of this conversation, anything, something, make something fall from the sky and then blink. Dear God. But, dear God, Kathy Skinner, please give me some sign whether or not this relationship will work. Oh, my God, it's a half-eaten chicken nugget. So they're like, what is happening? And she's like, he's like, I think I want to make you make a fan. And she's like, are they, excuse me, I put that on pause for one moment for the rest of your life.

Are they chucking chips at us? Is it chips? Are they actually throwing chips? He's through a chip at us. And then she's meeting, of course, French fries for all of us Americans. And then all of a sudden she starts realizing it's like chicken nuggets. And she was like, wait a second. If you waste my nuggets, I'm going to fucking calm down and rip your head off.

Thank you so much for giving me an excuse to get out of this conversation. I'm coming down right now. So she gets out of this moment. Like Max has literally just said, I want you to be my girlfriend. And now she has gotten up to chase after her nuggets. And they've eaten all the nuggets or thrown them all. And there's only a Big Mac left. And she's like, no, there's not.

I don't want a fucking Big Mac. Come on. I'm so annoyed by this. Chucking chicken nuggets at me. I'm so pissed off. So she goes in all upset. And then we cut to Max. He's like, oh, I'm so sad.

And then we cut to a nugget on the ground with a bite taken out of it. And he's upset because he's been trying to have this conversation for two days straight to make her his girlfriend. And like just when he felt like he was finally having the conversation, she gets distracted away by this scenario. And I'm like this again like I I don't mean to play the grief card for her It sounds like she doesn't want to play the grief card She just wants to sort of just like move on but I'm gonna play it for her Which is that this girl's dad stepfather just died and they're eating her takeout and throwing it at her I'm just like fuck you both like I can't stand them

And also Max it's just not the time like she's got she's got stuff on her mind and she's clearly Giving you messages that she doesn't want to have this conversation over and over over and over again. Okay. So he's like, where are you going? I'm actually fuming. Did you not see what happened with the chicken nuggets? He's like, you can't end this conversation.

She's like, but I'm fuming. So she storms off and he's like, I'm pouring my heart out with you and all you care about is chicken doget. Ah, come on, Cassie. Oh, still not listening. Those nose, no, no, no, does not feel good. Yeah, I was digging. Yeah.

I don't want to speak about this, but really, I lost a bit of trust in the woman. I lost trust. Well, maybe she would have more trust in you if you went down there and fought for some chicken nuggets. You're only worried about yourself. What is going to stand up for the pride of your woman? You need to go down there and get those chicken nuggets back. You need to go to McDonald's and get her some chicken nuggets. You need to throw those guys in the water for fucking with her chicken nuggets.

No one wants a man who is going to stand there and let their chicken nuggets be disrespected. You might as well have thrown your wife and child under a bus or a moving bus because no one was going to. marry you after watching this show you're sitting there crying about yourself where are your tears for those chicken nuggets you don't care about me you don't care address her needs this you're seeing this as an impediment but actually it's creating an amazing opportunity for you which is to order chicken nuggets for kathy and a bigger and better order than what she had previously ordered the most chicken nuggets she's ever seen and then she would see you as a boyfriend type but instead you're failing the challenge because you're seeing it all about you and so she is

furious and she's like I feel like raccoon Kathy right now I'm going to claw somebody's eyes out never get between a raccoon and it's like it's and this is the second time the season that she's referred to herself as a raccoon and I'm like really excited for like rabid raccoon Kathy to come out because I can see her being a terror yeah bro I'm speaking like a long-term motivation and she's distracted by dead chicken nugget huh oh the end fuck these fuck this fuck this Well, she just saw how you're going to stand up for her in the future, which anytime you guys have any kind of trouble that comes into your life, you're going to cry and make yourself a victim instead of doing anything about it. So I have not ever believed in this relationship, and I hope that Kathy can now see this is not the man for her.

Kathy deserves so much better, so much better than, she deserves like just a hot, awesome guy and not Max. She deserves, at the very least, a chicken nugget of a man. and she's not getting it. So it's not fair. It's not fair. Agreed. And that brings us to the end of Billardick, Mediterranean. You guys go out there.

Don't ruin each other's chicken nuggets. You know, it's a rough time in the world. Let's be kind to each other. Don't need other people's takeout. Like, don't, their delivery. Like, that is a, that is a crime. But I love that this episode ended with a chicken nugget cliffhanger. That's perfect Bravo TV for me.

me. We'll have to see what happens next week. But until then, you know, we'll be here recapping all sorts of fun stuff like Vanderpump Rules and Salt Lake City and things like that. Bannerpump Rules is a pretty funny one this week if you ask me. I'm excited for that. So we'll catch you on the next episode.

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