Watch What Crappens - #3163 Vanderpump Rules S12E06: Pump & Dump

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

A humble penis pump causes gravitational rifts on Vanderpump Rules as a borderline paraplegic Angelica spreads messy goss about Jason. Meanwhile, Marcus bans Kim from hugging, and Shayne Davis reveals a backstory of drug use, filmmaking, and erectile dysfunction  To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to What's What's Crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? How are you doing, baby? What's going on today? Everything going great.

Yeah, I'm like really excited. We just got nominated for an I-Hart Award. Yeah, party. Cool. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. That's super exciting.

Also, the crappies are coming up February 20th. 7th here in Los Angeles, the glorious Los Angeles. Those are our yearly Bravo awards shows, many times imitated, but never replicated. So come see us. We would love to see you guys. It's going to be a star studded evening. We're going to have great times, great laughs, new friends, old friends. You know what?

We're all together. We're all going to be together. We're all going to be laughing at the same shit. So to come, it's going to be so fun. It's an excuse to dress up and party with other Bravo. people and you will get more information just on our socials. Go to Instagram, look up watchup crappens.com and follow us there. That's where you find a lot of our stuff. Also, it's where you find a link to our Patreon. Our Patreon is where you get bonus episodes. We are covering the

traders right now on bonus episodes. And we are also doing videos every day for Crappins on demand. Those are also on Patreon as well as our new and improved ad free feed for all episodes, ad free. Join us for that. And that's that. Hey, Ben? Hey, Ben, James? Eh? That is that. What's your say about it? What you got to say about it, Ben? Today is Vanderpump

Pump rules. They're putting the pump in Vanderpump today. It's actually about a penis pump. Yep. It's a big penis pump drama. This episode was so funny to me. I was so deeply entertained. I loved how petty it was. I loved seeing the spirit of Sheena arriving in Angelica's body. That was great.

And I don't know. I'm like really enjoying this Vandahump Rules. And it makes me sad to know that there are a lot of people who are like not even watching it, not even paying attention to it. And I just feel like life is so hard right now. Things are terrible in the world at the moment. And this is sort of like a really joyful bit of stupidity. And for people who may be on. on the fence. I say give it a shot because I was cracking the fuck up at this episode. What about you?

What do you think? Well, life is a lot harder right now than Shane's penis. We all know it's true. You know, and I think that we should all be watching the show. It's a good show. And you know what? I feel like I'm proselytizing all the time and I'm just going to stop. You guys do whatever you want. I mean, people listening to this might be watching it. So I'm not yelling at you. I'm just saying, you know, people are going to do what they want. They're going to make their choices. There's a lot of choices being made right now in this country. I don't like. But they're being made. and I'm just going along, you know, so you guys do what you're going to do. You know what? Deny Joy.

If you want to deny joy, deny it. But I'm enjoying it. I hope they give this show another chance at the network because it's not looking good. I mean, it's like 180,000 viewers. That is bad. Yeah. That is worse than watch what crap happens. Sorry.

And watch what crap happens, actually. Honestly. But that's bad. So I hope they get another chance and lets us show Blossom because I believe it will. It's already so good and it's only episode six. And most shows take a whole season to warm up. This is already warm. It's already warm.

We've already got a guy. This Shane guy is such a trip. I can't believe all this stuff he just comes on in Bears on TV today. And still makes it funny somehow. And I mean, I love it. That's it. I don't need to live. At one point, I had to text Ronnie, like, a Shane Davis quote.

He goes, me personally, I could never be embarrassed by a penis pump because I got shot. So I have a rectal dysfunction. I have to take Viagra. And I don't know. For me, that's just life. Like, to me, that's just like, oh, my God, this show is actually so good that someone would actually say that. Like, I got shot, so I have to take Viagra. But, hey, that's just live, man.

It's live. That's live, man. So here we are, Vanderpump Rules Season 12, episode 6, Pump Fiction. We are at Venus's apartment in Winnetka. Where's Winnetka? That is, like, deep in the valley somewhere. like i don't it's like one of those places i've heard of in the valley but i actually don't know where it is when etka los angeles where is it it it's like are we gonna look it up yeah i need to look it up

that far away that's far no and i live in the valley but i'm new so um oh wow okay oh that's when it's by canoga park that's far as fun i mean that's 12 that's 12 that's half an hour from me so that means he's like an hour away at least from work the 405 It's hard. It's like it's past Recita. It's like west of Reseda. It's west of Northridge, east of Canoga Park, north of Tarzana. Like that is, to me, that's just like a foreign land.

Yeah, it's far away. I wonder what their home goods is like. It's just like whenever I see people going to Paris. That's my first question. I wonder what their home goods is like. So he's at Winnetka, the glamorous world of Wenatka. And he's like, um, after 24 hours of being around all my friends,

what are your thought, sister, Savannah? And Savannah's like, well, my hair is healthier than yours, you know? She goes, but also my other thought is, what the fuck? And he's like, yeah, I'm telling you, girl, I'm telling you. Hair flick, hair flick, hair flick. And then we go to Natalie's apartment in Westwood, and she's putting on makeup and she is trying to find out, wait a second, who's working?

And she looks and we see that Demi. Demi's on duty as manager on duty. She's like, say a prayer on the way there. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then the boys are all getting ready for work. And Jason's like, yeah, ball energy. And then Marcus is flexing in the mirror.

He's like lifting his arms over his head and flexing. He's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. God. Yeah, photo shoot mode. Yeah, buddy. But we also see that Jason takes over an hour to get ready. He starts putting his hands in his hair.

And he starts, like, moving around the little tufts that are, like, intentionally messy. It's, like, very, again, it's like very 2005 kind of like fallout boy, Hoopestank, kind of looking here. And he's, like, making it just so. And he's putting on all his moisturizer and it's going on and on for, like, an hour and 10 minutes. Just for him to come out of the bathroom looking exactly as he did when he came in. Yep. And Lisa's arriving at Toma, Toma, Toma. It's a photography day.

It's another day for photography. And the photographer asks sir if she's going to model. She's like, me, I'm not getting undressed. Those days are over. That magic is gone. Wait a minute. I'm in another pussy bow. What do you think about that?

Sharing you my real vulnerability here, boys. We knocked out the Sir yearly photo shoot just a few weeks ago. But we have a lot of merchandise at Tom Tom and at Sir. And the internet craves it. So now we need to do a little shoot for the merchandise. My staff is bloody gorgeous And also the very best bartenders of all Los Angeles So what's the point of hiring them if I can't put them to work?

Yeah, I don't know that that's going to really sell it But and also that merch is kind of ugly I mean, it's like all glittery They've gone over the top of the glitter for the Tom Tom. I get that we're going for like Tom Sandibals kind of band bro Yeah, man band But it's a little much. So Marcus shows up, you know, everybody just shows up and talks about how they're modeling.

She even Shane comes. He's like, hey, good to see you. Are you here to help us out to Shane Davis? He's like, oh, yeah, I'm donating my cheekbones in my jaw right now. Oh, well, that's very generous of you. Thank you for sharing. Now give me your soul. So then Marcus is like, hey, are you chewing gum?

He's like, ha ha, oh yeah, let me ship it that out. I mean, I just want my jaw nice and prepared for you guys. Like, Shane Davis has always chewing gum. He's definitely like, he's in like the Henry Winkler, like Fons style being like, here I am. Chewing, I'm a model with a leather coat. Yeah, man. Yeah, get my jaw ready. Get my jaw nice and ready for you guys.

She's like, all right, come on. Let's got, I've got other problems to sort out and here she comes. And it's Audrey. Audrey's there as well. They're just all showing up to do the shoot. Who cares? So Audrey's like, well, Lisa, we did have a little party last night. She was, oh, really?

Well, you were here last night, were you? As if I hadn't heard? What happened? I didn't hear good reports. Tell me, tell me. Close your eyes and take me back to a time. Smoke appearing in front of you. Tentacles behind me.

Tell me everything. So we cut to 20 minutes earlier. Logan is like, well, some of the surkids were in here last night and they were pretty drunk and they were dancing on tables and crying and screaming at each other and they ripped one of the mirrors off the wall. And then we see footage, security footage from Tom Tom of someone dancing on this couch and knocking over a small mirror. You say, who the fuck do they think they are? Do you know that that mirror was placed there by the maestro himself, Nicolaine? Who is going to tell me I'm the fairest of them all? When there's no mirror mirror on the wall.

Someone will pay for this. And Audrey's like, oh, that was my friend who did it. That was my friend. Oh, your friend. Well, get her in here. It's time for a little stem cell surgery. Yeah, let's name names, Audrey. We all know it was Mary Faith.

Okay, it was Mary Faith. And you're just covering for her because you're getting to use her horse, but we know it's Mary Faith. So, my, my, my throat's dropping into my vagina. I don't want to go to British jail. Please. Please don't take me to British jail. You're going to British jail, whether you like it or not.

Now, please put on this furry cap and riding pants and send yourself off. Tell me more. Tell me more. Then what happened? We all thought it was over. It's like, close your eyes again. Smoke is filling your head. Tell me, tell me everything that happened with this.

Merry Faith. And she's like, And then people shouting, screaming, crying, go on. Then, Demi and Natalie, they were, what were they doing? What were they doing? Were they shaking hands? Making a business deal. This restaurant is all about business, business, business.

No, they were fighting. Oh, fight for God's sake. One of my managers fighting. Come on, spit it out, Audrey. Do you want a life behind bars eating nothing but mushy peas and soggy? Fish and chips? Come on, tell all. Okay, well, it was Demi, Demi and Natalie.

And we see this cell phone footage. And Natalie's just sitting at the bar with her bored face. Like, just you would not know she was at a bar. She looks like she's just watching TV. And then Natalie comes over and puts her arm on her shoulder. And Demi loses her mind out of nowhere. She goes from just being blank face to be like, Don't fucking touch me.

I was like, see, these kids are crazy. I'm so proud of Bravo. Like, these are kids on their off time who are screaming at each other. They're not just streaming for us on TV. Yeah, they're working and they're off hours. And Demi's like, oh, does anybody even want Natalie McGuire here? No, didn't think so. No hands were raised.

So then Angelica comes in and Chris is like, what's up, Mama Pump? You're looking hot today in purple. Oh, well, I'll tell you what, this is not going to fly with me. Someone will pay for the destruction and the fighting. So Angelica comes in. She's like, oh, my back, oh, my God. Like, after you form a connection with a guy, and the next time you see him,

you don't necessarily know how it's going to go, but the connection with me and Shane, it's real. It's real. Basically because, like, he hugs her, hello. Like, hey, sweetheart. And she's like, oh, my God, he, like, loves me. So the producer's like, is she giving you butterflies? Shane, ah, I mean, she might be,

but I can't really shake that out loud. I can't be like, oh, my God, there was, like, butterflies. Like, oh, fuck, no. No, there aren't butterflies. There's just the bullets that are still stuck in my stomach. Yeah, it's called serotonin and oxytocin receptors and just like a little bit of mac and cheese from last night. Oh, my God, they're acting up.

So Marcus sees Angelica and he's like, how are you? And she's like, oh, long morning. I had to get x-rays. Yeah, because like that Jason Jiu-Jitzy stuff. And he's like, oh, shit, you're lying. She's like, no. Like, actually, I'm like, I'm getting scared now because I'm, like, Every time I fucking stand, bro, my lower back feels like it's getting electrocuted.

And so she starts crying. And he's like, wow, that's a really shit date. Jeez. This is where the spirit of Sheena comes through. Because, you know, it's so funny because I've been really on Angelica side a whole season. I think that Jason has been shitty to her as someone trying to court her and he's been playing games with her. And this is the episode where we get to see as per the tradition of Annaprop Rules that this is a lazy Susan of awfulness. And guess what?

Her dish has just arrived in front of me. And so this is Angelica's episode where she's revealed to be also just terrible and crazy. And so now she's like crying about this x-ray situation, which is, he does slammer around. He did. I'm not saying that he did. But like, this was like such a fake cry. She's like, I'm really weird. I'm like, okay.

Okay. You're getting some mileage out of this one. Yeah. I'm still team Angelica right now because who's like take somebody on a date and then slams them around on their date? And then gets on top of them. It's like, by the way, I've been lunged. to you you want to make out like what an idiot it just sucks and i'm like oh my god you had an mri this morning so i was just like and chris hears it and he's like oh geez chris hears it he goes

oh my god this one jesus uh because that's his cousin you're talking to matt and he's gonna stand for his bro they just jerked off together for a mother's day promo you're not going to stand between them so back at tom tom rodry's like i'm so sorry and chris is like i mean is it hurting right now Because, I don't know. She goes, yeah, it is hurting. And he's like, yeah, this might be the biggest cry for attention I've ever seen in all 31 years of my life. I thought the cry for attention was you getting naked on the internet to get some money, but that's okay. I know.

You were just standing there in a leopard print speedo. You're an actor. You're an aspiring actor. You cannot complain about people crying for attention. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So Lisa comes in just, what's wrong? I, hold on, I smell something.

Is that the smell of a mirror that's been taken off the wall? No, it's something sweeter, more pungent, more beautiful, more delicious. It's the smell of a broken bird, a literal broken bird. Oh, Angelica, do you have a broken back? You look like a pretzel. What's wrong with you? Darling, darling, please, please stop crying until I've got this shallace under your face. Okay, continue crying.

It's like, collect the tear. Oh, I did Jiu-Jitsu with Jason, and I got really hurt. He slammed me on the ground maybe like 12 times, and he broke my back. Okay, so he broke my back and I broke his heart. That's what happened. Oh, tell me more. And Chris is like, yeah, breaking his heart's a little crazy. Oh, but you guys weren't together, right?

Cry about it more. Cry into this cup. No, we weren't. I just have the ick. And, like, you know, as a woman, I just get the ick and you just like repulsed by someone, you know. Darling, it's called marriage. Get it. So Chris is getting mad that Angelica is like talking shit about Jason to Lisa.

And so he's like, he's getting himself into a frenzy. Even Lisa gets kind of mad because she's like, excuse me, repulsed about a man. You're repulsed by a man on this show? No, you're only repulsed by their hotness, a handsomness, a attractiveness, their ability to sell Tom, Tom, merchandise, rephrase.

I demand a rephrase. He's what has he done to repulse? you. She's, well, that's the right word, I mean, that's the right word, though. Like, he got an only fan and he uses a penis pump. Do you know what that is? His what? A penis what? Penis pump.

Teeny? A penis pump teeny. No, just a penis pump. Vanda. Vanda. Pump. Penis pump. Don't understand. Get branding on the phone. Get Chef Petty in here. Someone is stolen pump.

So, Audrey's like, did that actually come out of her mouth? You're telling Lisa Vanderpump about the penis pump. Like, what are you doing? And how do we get from your back as hurting to penis pump with the span of like five seconds? Well, Lisa's asking her. That's how.

And she's like, oh my God, like, I think a penis pump is for, like, a man to get, like, an erection. Lisa's like, oh, do I need this? Listen, the best thing to ever happen to a woman is a man not being able to have an erection. Why are we trying to fix things that don't need to be fixed? There's a pothole outside. Can we fix that?

Can we get a pothole pump? Penis pumps. And now I've heard everything. I thought that when you're 20-something years old, you don't really need something to make it go up. You need something to make it go down. If you want to make things go down in my house, all you need is a new Bentley, am I right?

So Angelica's like, oh, my God, now I'm just spilling all the beans. I'm like, so sorry. Where is he now? Where is he? I love a little broken penis bird. Send him over here. And so she's saying, it's probably hiding, whatever. So then over at Sir, Jason's serving tables.

And I love how whenever Jason talks, he does sort of sound like he's in the talking part of a porno, right? He's like, hey, let me get my pad real quick. My memory's shot today. It's like, no. Let me show you my paper. pad, which is my pussy. You know, but like, he always sounds like he's like the delivery man that just showed up with the pizza or the plumber or the guy who's just like tired from like a jog who like ran

into his friend, you know, he always talks in that canned way. Yeah. So Kim comes in saying, it's just like a dark cloud. And so Natalie is bartending and she's like, oh my God, what do you think about my drink that I'm making? How gorgeous is that? And Venus is asking her what it is. She's like, yeah, it's a drink that I'm creating.

It's going to be like a lavender French 75 and I bought edible glitter for it. Like, isn't that great? People are literally going to shit glitter after they have my drink. And then Demi comes in. Venus, will you please check your section, please? So over a tom-time, Lisa's like, oh, well, not Shane. Not in that.

You want to wear that apron over your shirtless chest that says Shag the chef. It's so naughty. And Chris wants one too. And so she's going to find them another. And so Chris is like, oh, yeah, I got to get a little pump in there, huh? Get a little pomp in there, am I right? So Marcus is doing push-ups in his apron, which is, you know, great.

I encourage that. And Lisa's like, oh, for God's sake, I think you've got enough of that, guys. Or you don't need to do a thing. Just pose in front of the camera. You're fine. Your perfection. So then Shane starts doing the push-ups too, I mean, these guys. And then Audrey is Corners Angelica.

And she's like, hey, why did you tell Lisa about the penis pump? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, sorry. Because, like, I'm like, you want me to say why I don't like him and like let me list all the reasons and be like super honest? Because like, that's what I am. I'm like super honest. Oh my God.

She just like wanted to know. Yeah. Well, that wasn't really cool of you because now she. know. She's just, yeah, but I don't see anything wrong with it. I mean, what's wrong with it? So now we see people taking photographs and looking sexy in the merchandise. Ooh. And then as they pose, Angelica goes, okay, everybody, say penis pump. And Audrey just gets all pissed off. She's like, I feel like Angelica's using what I told her about Jason and weaponizing it to embarrass Jason. Well, yeah. She is. But, you know, like, you're like the guy at the gun store.

mad, you know, after a shooting. Stop selling the guns. You did it. This is on you. So back. People don't kill people. Penis pumps kill people. Yeah, exactly. Angelica is like going to Shane.

She goes, did you know about it, Shane? Did you know about the penis pump? And Shane's like, well, who is he? Like, Austin Powers? Yeah. Jason has a penis pump. Jason has a penis pump. And he's like, who, Jason?

She goes, yeah. And Audrey's like, she needs to go back. to whatever school she got her degree from and asked for a money back and then use that money for therapy. Good one. So then she's like, sorry, I was trying to manifest an ending to that burn. I couldn't quite get there. Season one burn. Season one burn. So Chris is like, whoa, yo, Angelica, what's all this penis pump talks? She's like, I know, I'm sorry. I guess, yeah, I don't think you're sorry. Yeah, well, okay, well, I'm sorry that's something I can't stop saying because it's right here were like right on my mind. So like I'm sorry I keep talking about it. Penice pump. Penis pump. So this

girl Veronica is like, did you know he used a penis pump? And Chris is like, I mean, I've got a penis pump. I mean, it's temporary and it's better for sexual satisfaction too. I mean, look, I use a penis pump because I'm on Onlyfans to, you know, to deliver. And you don't do a steak, you don't go to a steakhouse or a plain burger. You want something thick and juicy and a little intimidating. You know, athlete's stretch. I pump. We all have a routine. I was like, okay. You're not the Michael Jordan of Only fans. Yeah, he's like, it's called dedication. Like, oh, no.

So Chris is like, you know, you're really talking loud about it. Okay, Angelica. And there's like other people here. So I think that's like a little disrespectful. And like zooms in on like someone listening. Like it's just a regular person eating food. Like, oh, they're talking about penis pumps. Well, Jason's good people.

You know, she was just fucking around. And Angelica's like, well, it didn't have to be yours. It was just in your house. Why are you taking ownership for the penis pump? I mean, Jason needs more self-awareness. Like, obviously, me being 100 pounds, he shouldn't have thrown me in that way. And obviously, he hit his penis pump. We wouldn't be talking about it right now with broken backs.

This is a, I mean, look, I mean, this is a pretty, this is a tight case that she's got here, right? I mean, like, if he had just hidden the penis pump from someone else who was not me, then she wouldn't have found it and told me about it. And then me with my broken back, I wouldn't have gossiped about it because my back was broken, which, as we all know, there's a direct link between a broken back. and gossip about penis pump. So it's really good. Yeah. I like how she just meshes it all together. She's like,

you break my back. I talk about your penis pump. That's it. That's it. And he's like, well, I don't know. You seem pretty fine to me right now.

You were dancing last night. Didn't seem like your back hurt last night. And she's like, I was sitting. So then we see a flashback of her dancing. I mean, she wasn't doing like the splits. You know what I mean?

But she was, you know, she was dancing. I don't think we, neither of us deny that, that she was that she is in pain because we did be did and do still think it's fucked up because he did really thwack her down on the mat doing his martial arts instead of hers and that was too much and then had the the the the balls to say by the way I'm talking to other people too so like you know and you're like no pain comes and goes you may have taken some of tonal or

something like that it's not up to us to police it um I feel like I'm working towards a butt but but I actually don't remember what the butt is so I'll just leave it at that which is like you're worried about I feel like you're worried about offending people who hurt their backs like I'm not really no I actually don't have a butt I just I'm just like like she's allowed to be in pain oh what I was gonna say though is but she really is going on a victory lap with this like she's I mean the penis pump thing I mean look I support her being messy about Jason I think Jason is a dipshit and I think that he does play games but like she's being messy but then won't stand in her mess and she's she's also kind of like sanctimonious too I kind of

want her to choose I think she's standing in it she's saying yeah I'm saying you have a penis pump because you have a penis pump I like that she's not backing down. She's like, yeah, you have a penis bump. Who cares? But she's like, but like later on, though, she's more like, she's trying to take more of a virtuous thing back. Or like, when she says, well, he should have hit it if he didn't want to be seen. It's like, I understand you're upset about your back, but like you should either just say, yeah, I, I want from her to say he has a penis pump and I don't care if I'm shaming him for the penis pump because that's what he gets for hurting my back. I just want her to say that instead of being like, well, um, he should have hit it. If he didn't hide it,

it would have been okay. Just like just stand in your pettiness or just don't be petty at all. I think that's what I am getting to. Yeah, I guess there's just not enough precedence of penis pump fights to really know what you grasp. You know, it's like, what's fair? What's fair here? So, but Chris denying her back is weird because your cousin was throwing her around on a date and like threw her on the floor a million times. So I don't have a leg to stand on either. So yeah. Yeah, you're like, you're allowed to be in more pain in certain situations than on others. you know. Yeah. She's had a whole night's sleep and she could have slept wrongly on it. And now she's hurting more today than yesterday. So Shane's trying to be a middleman. And he's like, well, she was sitting most of the night, but, you know, there's not a bad guy here. Like Jason for sure wasn't attempting to hurt you back.

Okay. And Chris was like, yeah, he didn't have harmful intentions. You're just reaming him out a little bit too much right now. And you know what if anyone's going to ream Jason, it's going to be me. And we're going to get paid big fucking money for it. So I don't appreciate it because that's my cousin. and he swallows. And you're just being a little disrespectful

and you're talking all of this shit. You know what? Talk shit after you've had this man's balls in your mouth. I would never. I would never. So then Angelica's like, well, I know this information from your girl, which is, the doctor's like, so out of context.

It's so out of context because the original context was, I saw a penis pump and then used it by saying that I saw a penis pump. And that's like a total of different context than me seeing a penis pump. This is making me so upset. Like she lost all my trots. I was the one who opened up the kind of worms, but I didn't know the worms were going to turn into snakes. And then the snakes were going to bite me.

And then someone was going to take the snake and try to fish with them. Then fish weren't going to catch them because they're fishing with snakes. Why don't you fish with worms? Go back to school. Audrey, literally the point of a penis pump is to turn the worm into a snake. So get with it. Chris. And a snake into an anaconda and anaconda into a boss.

he's like yo this is private shit Angelica oh it's private like you guys have an only fan that everything can click on like you share your dick to the whole general public which is like she's basically saying because you have an only fan I can talk about all your

all your shit in your house which is not really true but at the same time I do appreciate that these guys are getting shit because while I think that she's being incredibly messy and I don't like her delivery of it I want her to be standing her pettiness more I do think that Chris and Jason are garbage.

And so I appreciate how annoyed they are right now. I really like that. He's like, well, I wouldn't say Angela has a fucking dildo. She goes, well, whoever will subscribe and now you're like upset about a penis bump, like really be fucking for real though, okay? You are taking this too far. You are a fake bitch. Whoa, sir.

We're talking to women like this in 2025. What the fuck, man? That's not a good sign. it's episode six we're supposed to find out about what a misogynist you are in season two and a half okay give it some time so now they're all mad she's like so now they're all mad she's like and then she's like guys guys guys relax okay don't pull out any guns right now come on guys so then we go over to sir and venus is um like his table doesn't have the cocktails and now's like what are you talking about like i swear to god that order never came in i swear i'm my life so then the

This is just a very, this is such a Vanderpump order, though. He's like, yeah, my drinks didn't come in. Okay, it's a pineapple mimosa, a glass of Prosecco, and a Hugo Spritz. I don't know what a Hugo Spritz is, but I know I actually hate it. I don't either. I lose respect for anyone who gets a Hugo Sprits, too. A Hugo Sprits and a pineapple mimosa. That's a very pump order.

So Natalie's like, oh, that never came in, never saw it. So then we see Demi hears him. And she's like, So then Kim is looking at something that's a BLT with an AOLI side, and Jason's clearly confused by it. And she's like, what are you confused about? He's like, I just can't find it. I've never done brunch before.

I don't know how to enter in BLT with an AOLI side into the machine. She's like, everyone's just like rolling their eyes and angry at Sir in this scene. You guys, go to your sections. Lisa just walked in, please. Smoke bomb alert, smoke bomb alert. Lisa's like, oh, one minute it was a carpet, and then I was standing on it. Look at that.

To me, I need to talk to you. You too, Natalie. Not you, Natale. You, Natalie, get over here. All right. Rascals. I need one of you to get into this box, and I'm going to have Guillermo saw you in half. Are you ready?

Okay, never mind. Never mind. All right. What's going on? Arguing and screaming and arguing and being in the presence of mirrors falling off the walls at Tom Tom, it's not right. Let me tell you my morning, I went over to Tom Tom and I looked at the wall and I said, wall, wall, wall, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

And the wall said, I can't see you. I'm a wall. What happened to the mirror in Tom Tom Tom? I don't feel secure about this situation, much like the painting feels about being on the wall. Insecured. So don't deny it. Whatever you will say, whatever you want to say, say it now. And then we have time to move on. So say it now, say it loud, say it proud, and get it out.

Because after tonight, you shall never have a voice again. Okay, Lisa, so I decided last night I was done with the friendship with Natalie. Because I just like can't do this friendship anymore. I can't do it. Yeah, but I literally don't even know what the problem is with her. Like, who doesn't want to have a friendship with me? Like, seriously, what? Well, that's your problem if you don't understand why I don't like you because look at my face.

I don't like anyone. Yeah, my problems with Natalie did not happen overnight. I've had issues with her for like the last few weeks now and you know what? Four weeks you're done. Like your toast. It's over. Three weeks. It's fine.

You can have another chance. Four weeks done. Yeah, montage of us fighting now. Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. Why? Fighting, fighting. Fighting, fighting. You're the worst.

Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. Back to the interview. So yeah, like it's so mad. And Demi's like, I'm at a point where I just like, I cannot have a friendship like this. Well, can you not look at it from my point of view? A wealthy person using poor people to make television. That you're exploding, you just keep going around and round

in circles, but off camera. If you're gonna do this, do it on camera. This is the problem here. We're trying to do a reboot. America doesn't like us yet. You must do drama on television. Not off of television. Please see it from my point of view.

Me, looking down, at two little ladies with scarves on the head standing in a cheese line. Fighting over cheese. You're both going to get your cheese, pause. You're both going to get your cheese. Do we understand where I'm coming from? Have you ever heard of a man named Cedric? No. That's the point.

Do your job or be never heard from again. disappear into the French sewers like that little queen did. So Natalie's like, well, I don't even know what you're talking about, like a picture being on the wall? Like, what's up with that? I got nothing to do with a picture off the wall. Okay, listen, it's all a big deal, okay? You're still in my bar. So whether it was a picture or whether it was me, you're in my bar, you're fighting.

You're taking pictures off the wall. Stop that. The fact they were having to sit down about a picture that fell off a wall is so funny. That picture, do you not understand that Taylor Armstrong's party planner made that for me? It stays on the wall. I hate excuses, especially from my managers. When I hear an excuse from one of my managers, I want it to be about why they're fucking one of the staff members who are 30 years their junior. Not about petty things like mirrors falling over walls.

It makes me so angry It makes me want to grab a mirror off a wall Throw it at your face And put right back on the wall Where it belongs Yeah, I agree Lisa I agree Yeah, because neither one of you

Are winning in this equation right now At the end of the day You're both girls who work at sir No one wins Picture knockovers Because by the way We don't know if it's a picture or a mirror Because Lisa says it's a mirror

But then Audrey said it was a picture Something sounds like someone was framed Get it. Habootigantaguntagoo-do-gut-g- It was a mirror, but in a certain angle, it's a picture of a perfect woman. Well, of course, a perfect woman stands right in front of it, and that perfect woman is Rosio.

Surprise! So Natalie is like... Almost every time I see Demi, I have no idea if she wants to make up, or if she wants nothing to do with me. And, like, that's how I thought every day growing up in my house, my mom used to tell me I love you but I don't like you and the reality is I do not have a relationship with my mother and I had extremely toxic childhood and when I saw demi I was like

she could be my mother and then she doesn't want to be my mother and when I try to suckle at her teeth she says please stop doing that please serve this pump tini instead and I said but you're rejecting me all over again mother and she says stop calling me mother and it's like really fucked up up for me you know one of the funny things about recapping vanderpump rules 13 years later with like a new cast is that the first go-round when people would be like, oh my God, my mom hated me. And she said, like, I don't want a relationship with you. We'd be siding with the waiter. But all these years later, like, I get what your mom is feeling.

Like, I can't like, I see you on TV. I see you on TV. Like, I'm on the mom's side. Yeah. I mean, that's how I feel about all the proper liberties. I love you. I don't like you. Yeah.

I'm on the parent side these days. The best part about recapping Vanderpump rules is all the shit that you forget about that was just on the episode you saw last night because I came away from that episode being like, oh my God, this whole stupid thing about the penis pump and that became a whole big drama and they were fighting back and forth about penis pump, this is so funny. And then as you go through it again, you're like, oh, and we have a whole scene dedicated to Lisa reprimanding to women because a picture fell off a wall or a mirror fell off a wall. This is the kind of like petty, stupid bullshit that I just live for.

Well, I've worked here for two years, Lisa, and this is my family. This is my family. And they're all telling me that they hate me and they want nothing to do with me. Natalie, it's your figurative family. It's your literal family. At some point, you've got to look in the mirror on the ground and say, who's the problem here? Yeah, seriously. So back over at Pump, Audrey, Chris, Marcus and Shane leave.

And she's like, hey, how's fucking Kimberly going to him, bro? What's going on with that? Oh, so strong, dude, so strong, bro. After my, like, after my gig, you know, like after my DJ gig. Like, I think it's the strongest point in our relationship. I wore Ray bands. I mean, that turned it around. That turned it around.

Hey, bro. Hit me with a flashback of your love. Okay, bro. And we see a flashback of him being like, babe, this relationship and you, it's, like, the most important thing for me. Like, I'd like to re-ask you to be my girlfriend for another 10 months by Rocky. this french fry around your ring finger oh my god oh my god but like definitely not for like another 10 years okay like 10 years is too long to be just girlfriend okay you want to be together

forever and she's like yeah i love you baby i love you yes so we come back to the present and uh kim's like hey babe how they go he's like oh it's so good it was fun we did a photo shoot like we're just wearing hoodies and shit it's like life of a DJ you know how it goes And then we see Audrey and Chris at the other side of the bar and Jason goes up to Audrey. He's like, hey, are you okay? And she's like, oh my God, you're going to hear about it. I'm going to die. I'm going to die right now.

And Chris like, oh, yeah, you missed a lot. It's like, really? What's it about? Please tell me. I'd love to know. Yeah. So you know what I told you about yesterday? And we see a flashback of her being like, yeah, so I had coffee with Angelica.

I told her a funny story about how it was when I was over and I took a shower. And he goes, oh, shit. You saw the dick pump and all that shit. Did you see the rubber ass? Bro, yeah. You saw the rubber ass. So then Chris is like, yeah, pretty much Angelica made a fucking fool out of herself. She was like really like fucking screaming out like penis pump like all fucking day.

It's like that's weird. Yeah. I thought she was like clowning because like, like, I mean at least she brought up the dick and like the dick pump. And I was like, oh man. I was like, you know, I got direct house dysfunction. I was shot man. And like I got Viagra for days, you know? So look, I think that like she's able to.

She's just got to be able to explain herself. That's it, bro. And they just kind of look at him like, oh, okay. That was a lot of, that was a lot. That was a lot to just throw in there casually. And he's like, yeah, me personally, I can never be embarrassed about a penis pump because I got shot. So like, I have wrecked to have dysfunction.

I have to take Viagra. It's like, for me, that's just life. Just life, man. Just life, man. That's why he's got multiple girls lining up because I think Viagra, you take it and it just stays up for like hours, you know? And I remember, was it, it was either Erica on Beverly Hills or someone in my life like that. I don't remember where I even heard this, but someone said, yeah, the worst thing to ever happen to women was Viagra in this town.

Because, you know, you'd like marry an old guy and you just, it's like awesome. He's old. I'll never have to fuck him. Like, he's not going to get it up. And now they're just up all the time. So you've got this troll on you all night long to get that money. It's like a harder job. It's a harder job.

Yeah. Yeah, it really is hard. Literally. So Shane's like, hey, Angelica, could you go talk to Jason? And she's like, I don't really want to. I just feel like I'm caught in the middle of Jason and Chris. They're my boys, you know?

And like Angelica, you know, I actually have like really good connection with her. Like I'll be a big girl, I guess. So she comes up to him. He's like, how are you? She's like, well, I've been better like physically. And I'm sorry if I heard you with my joke, but like my back is broken. And because you want to talk in private?

It's like, no, we're like talking in public because like you guys were like talking about me right next to me. So. Chris is like, I think that's a one-on-one conversation. And Jason's like, yeah, because they all came up to me just to tell me what happened. And I'm here listening.

So dot, dot, dot. Okay, well, let's be honest. Like it started when I was talking to Lisa because I was like crying and my back was hurting it. She's like, why are you crying? And then it just came out. It was like, we're diarrhea because like I'm going through a lot. It made me laugh. I mean, it's a penis pub. It's crazy, right?

Isn't crazy? Yeah. So you see the customer like, has anybody seen our server? Yeah, especially like while I'm going through weather things right now that are more like detrimental to my health and my mental state. He goes, what's that? My back. My back, bro. It's like serious. Like, you don't think it's serious. I mean, I'm not coming at you. Like, why are you coming at me? Because I had to learn how to play the piano with one foot.

That's why. In the kitchen, we see the chefs. They're like, oh, man, the new girl is saying something about a penis bump. You're acting like I'm telling you repeatedly. It's a serious thing. I'm not acting. He's like, are you okay? No, I'm not okay.

What are you not hearing? I'm not okay. I could use some food. I could use another drink. Where's our waiter? Yeah, well, why don't we like talk later about it? Because, like, I've got to check on my tables right now. And then if you want to have a conversation with me, like, maybe we'd,

could have a conversation about it later. Um, you're kind of an asshole right now, because I'm telling you, you hurt my back and you can't even apologize. I already said I'm sorry. Like, I said I'm sorry about it yesterday. Like, if your back still hurts today, ask it to go back to yesterday and get the sorry. Jason has like a nice guy persona, but like when you first meet him, he's like super charming and he's like kind, but then like once you start to get to know him, he like does a C-plex on you.

And it's like not nice. He's like not up front. You downplayed it. You're downplayed it right now. Okay? Like what you're gaslighting me? And that's your favorite thing to do. Like gaslighter.

Your favorite things to do are like back break people and gaslight them. I, but like, why would I pour gas on a light? I got to check on my tables. Okay, then check. Check them. I will. And by the way, your apology was shit. Oh my God.

He's like, okay, guys, I'm back. I heard you ask for your check. So Marcus picks up shame. outside of his apartment. And it's like a deep guy scene. It's like a deep bro scene, which I've needed. And it's very Vanderpump rules where it's like, bro, bro, you nervous? Yeah, bro.

I'm nervous. Bro, you know what we should do? We should go like go where I go when I'm like in L.A. And I just need like a break. Let's just stop right here on the side of this road in front of this house. Okay. Oh, I'm so glad we're doing this. I'm so glad we're doing this because I'm showing an unfinished short film at a, on the rooftop of a restaurant next to the target.

I'm so nervous about how it's going to turn out. So I really need this moment. Thanks for taking me to your lookout spot. What's the Formosa Film Festival? Is that like at the Formosa Cafe? They literally were. The Formosa Cafe. I guess they just showed, I mean, it's clear they show some films at the Formosa Cafe.

Guys, welcome to the Tender Greens Film Festival. You got the Palm Day cilantro. I personally am really excited. I decided to go enter a short film into the Piccy Tomas short film festival. Guys, there are five films that have been nominated tonight, and the winner is French fries. Okay. Thank you for coming to the foremost film festival. Actually, I did forget to mention that I did enter something into a film festival once, and I am the proud first place winner of the short film of the year from the Egg Slot Film Festival.

one comes with a complimentary bun. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, I was in a short film festival a few years ago in Austin. It was like a big moment for me. It was huge. I get it. I mean, I get it.

One of the most horrifying things to sit through, by the way, it's a short film festival. The worst. It was terrible. It was two and a half hours of pure hell. You would think a five-minute movie would be like, oh, it'll be five minutes and it's over. Those things feel like they are six hours long each time when they come up. And it's always just the same stuff over and over and over again. It is a nightmare to watch those things.

Oh, my God. Yeah, so he's got a short guys. And Shane's like, yeah, it's nice to premiere, my latest short film, Deep Clean. Like, is it dentistry? I was like, the story of using pine saw on your floors. Are you going to get a plaque removal? during this. What's happening?

Is this about your car seats? Yeah, well, I still model a little bit. I'm really more of a storyteller at heart. So, yeah, you know, I act, right. I just started producing, and I've been, like, working on this short film all year. It's pretty good. I learned to use a vacuum for it. It's pretty good.

I use this industry-grade software called A-movie, and I just make some good shit, man. So this one, we didn't spend any much money. on it. It's just like a little concept so that like, you know, just get financiers, get a little taste, you know. Like, it's a story about a model who goes and he like talks to someone in front of a car and then he knocks on a door and talks to someone else there. And it's a pretty good story. And I'm thinking we could turn into a franchise. So I don't know. I think for most the film festival, like this is where it's all going to happen for me, bro. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Pretty big deal. Yeah, I'm going to see it get made into a large feature film with a big

budget and stuff like do i need to do only fans because like is that i'm gonna make my movies not if you can't get it up so then marcus is like well i've seen you come so far like literally like remember when you used to live in the valley and now you live closer and you've always worked so hard and you believed in yourself and like it motivates me like yesterday i became a dj bro it's because of you yeah she'll remember bro and like when you were about to leave l.a what did i tell you when you were about to leave LA? What did I tell you? Yeah, you looked up at that billboard and you said, you don't want to look up there one day and see me up there without you. Actually, I was thinking about the other thing I said, which was, do you mind if I take your couch, which I still would

love to call dibs on that thing. So just let me know. You know how it is, dude. It's so hard to find people at here that are like happy with you. You know, like they're like happy for you. Like when you win, shit like i've always felt like you're happy you know like i mean you would be if i won stuff right yeah i appreciate you man i really i really do man so uh the question about that couch does it come with the ottoman also bro because i was thinking that would be a full shit it would be so good it'd be so sweet yeah so they're literally on the side of the road and marcus is like yeah it's my little lookout spot bro like i come here sometimes on my way home from work and i just like i take in the city a little bit um excuse me you do not live here there's a no

listening sign on the lawn for a reason. She's like, that's beautiful, bro. That's really so beautiful. I wish I could do the same, but I usually have modeling gigs. So I'm usually booked and blasted. But for you just to be blessed and not booked, and that's great. So that's awesome that you come here and they look out. And Marcus goes, check that out, brother.

Check it out. Yeah. Take it in. What are we taking in, by the way? Are we looking at the where the borders used to be on sunset? Yeah, man. I called the police 20 minutes ago. I'm not kidding.

Yeah, well, honestly, bro, like today is like, it's supposed to be a prep day. But, bro, I took my pops for a hike because I've been showing him all around L.A., bro. He's having the time of his life, bro. Is he? Like, is he everything you were hoping for? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, like, I had some trouble, bro.

Because, like, on the way when I was picking him up. And we don't really see. Oh, yeah, we do see what it is later. So Shane tells us his story. He's like, yeah, I haven't seen my dad in a long time because, I mean, I've only seen once in three years because my father wasn't really present, you know, he was in and out of legal trouble and jail. He's coming to a big moment, you know, it's a lot of pressure on me. And bro, I stopped over at the store and I got some cratum that's an opioid. Isn't cratim fake weed?

I have never heard of cratum before. I was like, oh, okay. I have no idea. So he's like, yeah, I've been sober for two and a half years. And I got 10 years off alcohol, 12 years off math, 12 years off of 12 years off of fentanyl. And right now I've got two and a half years off marijuana and Adderall and mushrooms at DMT and ketamine. I was like, oh, okay. I thought cratum.

So I looked up cratum. Cratum is a supplement that is sold as an energy booster, moodlifter, pain reliever, and remedy for the symptoms of quitting opioids. Like for withdrawal, basically. I have no idea. Maybe it's like methadone where it's like a little bit of it, but not enough. Listen, I have never heard of Cratum.

I just trust that when he says, he probably shouldn't have it. Based on the list that he just detailed, I'm just going to believe him. Stay away from the Cratum. Yeah, that was quite a list. Yeah, Fettono, yeah, alcohol, fentanyl, meth, crystal,

marijuana, adderol, mushrooms, DMT, ketamine, gasoline, spray paint, white out, tape. You know, I put tape up my nose once. It didn't really get me high, but it did take out a lot of my nose hairs, which is kind of cool. Pokemon Go, I couldn't put that down. I just walked all over this shitty.

Oh, man, that was a lot. I had great quads that summer. Yeah, I had my very first drink. I was probably about five years old. And my family introduced me to crack cocaine, methamphetamine. I mean, we were the hottest dope heads in the trailer park, which is all that matters. You could be using, but as long as you're hot, that's the most important part. And it wasn't until I was digging through the carpet looking for meth crumbs that I ended.

understood that I might have a problem. So when I started recovery, my relationship with my parents really just kind of ended because I, you know, I was partying with my parents and I did a lot of drugs. What the fuck? What is going on here? Why are you bringing your dad into town? So your dad and your mom are like crazy meth heads and you're bringing them to L.A., which is like pretty meth-y. I mean, yeah. So don't let your parents just run around the town all by themselves.

Don't do this to yourself. Don't do it. Get rid of them. Well, don't worry. He's safe in the hands of reality TV. What could go wrong? Oh, gosh. Newfound stardom and suddenly your dad's showing up again.

Look at that. Your dad found out you're on a TV show and he's showing right back up there with his methie ass. Get your father out of there. Yeah, he basically tells us that he picked up, he was going to buy this crate him. But the last time he bought, he created him, he went into a two-year relapse. And it was terrible. And when he's using, he just lies. And it's just his dysfunctional.

He lost everything. So he put it down. He's okay. He didn't fall for it. But, whoa, Shane Davis. Yeah, and he's like, I'm incapable of being a good person if I'm on drugs. It's like incapable. So I put the drugs down.

I went to the airport and I picked up my dad and he picked up the drugs. So it was fun. You know, at least I got some vicarious out of it. But my dad was trashed. I mean, that's fine. Like, that's just who he is. Like, I love him. I accept him exactly the way he is.

And I took him to my apartment. He snorted my TV, bro. I had to watch Netflix through his poop. It was crazy. It was crazy, bro. At least he still has. He's still a hot dad, you know? Ha ha ha ha.

So Shane, his sister gets in later tonight, and Mark's like, wow, those are going to be trippy for me to meet your sister and your dad, dude. He's like, yeah, I can't wait for them to meet you. I'll be like, this is the last successful model. Okay, he does one gig per month at best. And by month, I mean, decade, right? Okay, Spirit Halloween over there. Yanks. This was crazy.

So they hug. And they're like, wow, we're friends and the police, you know. The police are coming. I swear they're coming. They're fine. We'll leave, lady. So now we go over to Chris and Jason's apartment and gallons of water everywhere, which I support.

Big water person over here. Big water person. Finally got my water jug. Just have a water jug now. I don't have to waste all those crystal geyser bottles. Whatever. So Chris and Jason are there. And Chris is like, hey, what's up, Jace?

I might need your help with some audition. just some commercial shit, you know, that bullshit. And he's like, oh, anything new that you're working on? Well, looking for a handsome model with rugged looks and great hands. So come on, check out these hands. These are the hands that are going to get me into tangled, okay? Because look, I don't really say no to anything. If there was a door, I'll knock on it.

And if it opens, it, it opens, it, it doesn't, it stays closed. If it opens up a little bit, I might be like, hey, can you open up a little bit longer? A little bit, I can't really get through. And if they close it, I'll be like, okay, I wasn't supposed to go through. If they open up a little wider, I'll be like, hey, this is better. but I still need to open up a little bit more. It's like, we get it, Chris. We understand it.

Okay, you knock on doors. So, yeah, I've had a hand job before. You know, I've done a hand job before. You know, modeling. Modeling, I mean, I don't mean, like literally. I mean, I have done an hand job before. Let's face it. I'm got to make a living.

Am all right, bro? Come over here, because I'm doing an hand job right now. Doing an hand job right now. Okay, ready to hand. And could you hand me a paper towel. Hand me a paper. You didn't warn me that was coming. You should warn me that was coming.

It's unprofessional, bro. So, how. How are you and Audrey? It's like, well, I mean, we're just taking things super slow. I mean, she's only slept over once and we didn't even hook up, you know? Wait, you didn't hook up? I thought you all hooked up. No, I've been good though, bro.

I've been good. Yeah, you know, I'm a guy. I love to have sex. But, like, genuinely, though, guys. Like, I just think it's like fucked up past situationships, you know, so I don't want that anymore. So from now on, I'm only fucking my cousin. He's like, I mean, obviously it'll be soon. I mean, it's been like, what, like three weeks?

No, four. It's been four weeks since you've had sex. Wow, you must have a lot built up. You must be really, really horny right now. Well, I know you like girls, but if there's anything I can do to make it easier for you because you probably can't focus on your job. And if you can't focus on your job, you're probably not going to be able to earn money for rent. So any way I can help, I'll do it.

You know what I got in common with the girl? I've also got a mouth. I'm here. I'm here, bro. I'm here. bro it's been four weeks in one more week it's going to be a month come on come on bro come on it's like wow that's so long for you to not have sex wait i have a question how is the kiss with audrey um it was like a seven or like a seven point five probably yeah

jason's like um not gonna lie to you when i kiss a girl i know right away if it's a girl i'm gonna fucking date on like if the sex is gonna be good and everything like i can tell because like the first thing that's like important about sex is like attraction. Yeah, no shit. Actually, I think with these guys, the first thing is how big is the bank account? And then the second thing is attraction. Well, that's exactly right. I think when you're like gay for pay, you're like, wow, it's crazy. Like, if you really want to like somebody, you should be attracted to them. Like, really? It's not the 20 in your hands. I'm shocked. Secondly, if it's like the fucking smile, it's the smell bro. Like, if I smell like a girl's smell, I'm not saying they smell bad, but I'm saying

that they just like smell. So like a smell is a smell. I mean, smell the smell. It's like that smells, but it's a good smell, not a bad smell, right? He's like, fair moans. Yeah, dude. Like I can tell. Like I'm like a fucking animal, bro. I can smell those moans. And so Audrey comes over and she's like, hey, so she's like, oh my God, this couch is like the same couch we slept on. We passed out right here. We didn't even have pillows. Remember, that was like wild. These are the days of our lives. I told Mary Faith that we passed out on a couch that didn't even have pillows yet. And she got so mad that she ripped a photo off the wall and threw it on the ground.

She's crazy. Oh my God. Did I say that part out loud? Lisa's going to ban her. He's like, whoa, well, before you go like too crazy, like voyaging around our house, we should put locks on the bathroom doors. And she's like, I wasn't voyaging you guy. He told me to take a shower in there. Oh my God. You were voyaging. I'm and I put a master I put a master lock on my room after your voyaging so yeah I was cooking or something I walked by and I'm like oh shit She's in Jason's bathroom and I was like do you need a towel and she's like no I'm good and I was like good luck Great story bro and Jason's like use my towel. That's like so disgusting. I like used it all over my asshole

I was like rubbing it all over my asshole you probably smell like shit She's like ew It's like yeah and when I told her she was in your in your shower. She was like oh thank you Thank fucking God. Yeah. And by the way, this is Jason talking. I know it's hard to tell between us cousins. But like when everything came out, it was just like so much at the wrong time. Because like first, making out with Shane in my face and then the only fans thing. So I'm thinking, oh, the dig pump. And then it was like, it was just like so much at once. And I like literally just felt naked. Felt so naked in that moment. I was like being attacked. I felt like I was naked and not getting paid for it. Do you know how embarrassing that is? And she's like, yeah. One, like I shouldn't have brought it up to begin with personally. Because, yeah, well, honestly, I'm so happy you fucking did. Because, like, I was telling Chris and, like, it showed her true colors.

Like, it showed her true colors. And you know what? Her true colors walk funny because she has a bad back. Like, I can't believe I even consider dating somebody with a bad back. Have you ever seen a rainbow that has a bad back? It's so crazy. But now we know what it looks like. So now we know to avoid it.

Thank God. Yeah. Well, how do you feel about her now, though? And she's like, um, I think she took some weapons that I guess. gave her unintentionally and used weapons for violence. And now she has to do something that would gain my trust back because right now I don't trust her at all with my weapons. So then we go to Shane and Shane and his dad and his dad's companion.

And they go up to the rooftop of the Formosa bar or Formosa restaurant. And, you know, they got a nice little group up there, et cetera. And they definitely shoot this as if it's like a big deal film festival. but like if you've ever been to the Formosa, the Formosa Cafe is a Los Angeles landmark. It's like part of old Hollywood. It's also just like an adorable little cafe. So they make it seem like this is the staircase going up to Cannes,

the Cannes Film Festival, you know, and Kelly Rowland's about to get kicked off the staircase. It's like, no, this is the top of the cafe. It's like Sundance with a lot of beer taps. So he's like, yeah, I'm so grateful to have my dad here tonight so we can see what it is that I've worked so hard on in Los Angeles. It's like so special for me. My dad's so fucking proud of me. Cannot find my bank card anywhere. Hope he can help me find that later. He's such a good dad.

This scene was very important because it was a scene where we see that Shane travels into douchebag worlds and it was so cool to see him straddling both because you have the Vanderpump rules aspiring actor world of Sir and Tom Tom. But then you have the aspiring filmmaker world, which is equally as douchey, but not as pretty. And it was cool to see him go back and forth between those worlds because we've seen those worlds here in L.A. for years and years and years. Because usually the filmmakers, I feel like, resent the actors

because they want to be the actors because the actors are pretty. But the actors resent the filmmakers because the filmmakers have like intellectual cred. And so it was cool to see Shane being right in the middle and being able to go between both worlds. Yeah. And D.C. Walker, writer and director comes over. he's like, oh, you're Shane's father, are you? Wow. So did you guys ever do high school plays or anything like that to really inspire Shane? Is that where Shane gets it from? And she goes, nope, just did a lot of drugs together.

He's like, wow, you're too cool. Okay. You're going to see him on the big screen here. And we'll see if he's got what it takes to be a movie star. Okay. And tomorrow, I'm going to go back to my job as a temp in an accounting firm. All right. But tonight, I'm a writer-director. Yeah, what are you doing with that table tent there? Okay, do not cut your blow on the table tent. Okay, put that down. It's a very classy festival, sir. So Natalie comes and Shane says she's looking pretty. And she's like, really? Well, you look nice.

I mean, are you happy now? Because it's like a big night for you. It's like really big. Like, this is crazy. I saw someone eating a hot dog over there. I mean, are we in heaven? It's like Robert Redford here. They've got crab raccoon here.

So Shane is like, yeah. I feel just so supported by all my friends. friends showing up and showing love and like tonight is one of the best nights of my life. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wait one extra one for the film festival. Ha, there we go. Yeah, so people come. Shane introduces Marcus to the dad and all of that stuff. And he's like, oh, I hear you're, I hope you're having a great time in L.A. He's like, I sure am. It's a wild place. This one. Yeah. Okay, zip up your zip up, zip up, zip it up, zip it up, sir. I saw a bunch of queers down the street on San Monko Boulevard.

They allow that here. Okay, Dad. All right. Let's just, here we go. Let's just be quiet here. Just put your cowboy hat back on. Okay, Dad. So, Angelica's like, oh, my God.

I feel like half the people here, like, now, like, I'm not viving with it. So, like, I need a drink. Like, I seriously need a drink. This is, like, crazy. Oh, no, I'm sorry. You said that, Angelica. But, you know, you can say it with me anyway, because no one likes me either.

And Angelica's like, I mean, like, you. If only they can drink their drinks a little faster, so I don't have to talk to him. I guess I'll say hi to Kim. She's always fun. And Kim's like, huh. She walks right by. Audrey doesn't say hi to Audrey as she says hi to Kim. You know it's bad when you're going out of your way to say hi to Kim.

You know you're being passive, aggressive, and you're like, oh, wow, I'm at a party where there's so much fun happening. Let me be sure to say hi to Kim. Last resort, Kim over there. So Jason's like, how bullshit to show up and be like so awkward. Yeah, she said hi to everyone but me. Yeah, she shouldn't say how to me either, though. But she said hi to the girls. I was talking about the girls.

Oh, yeah, that's wild. It's wild as she said hi to girls, but not me too. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the night of shorts night. The night of shorts night. That's right. That's the sort of- Finally, I'm being honored. It's like Jason goes up to accept an award.

I just love it. So anyway, the Formosa Film Festival. featuring the night of shorts right thank you so he's like thank you so much for joining us here let's get started let's let's put our hands together from mr dc walker to see deep clean fun fact dc stands for deep clean it's an autobiography okay enjoy everyone so now this is me clips this was me and so shane's movie comes up i like yes to say that let's say that in case the sister doesn't realize that when she sees shane davis on the screen that that is that fact him yeah hey that's me on the screen there.

You might not recognize me because I kill my hair a little different in this one. It's me. I'm method. I method. So we see scenes. If I like his sister goes, I'm already embarrassed for you. I'm like, girl, wait to you see the show. So we see scenes from the movie and we see him going, hey, hold up.

You sure you mean murder? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, but you haven't seen his wife since. I get it. That doesn't mean he's the reason. Angelica's like, Shane looks like really cute on the screen. He's like, doesn't have any traces of a broken back.

Like I do. But he just has a jaw line that should be in the movies. Marcus is like, he's got hair like Leo DiCaprio. Venus says, yeah, watching Shane's film right now, it's like making me horny because like Shane is like hot as fuck, okay? It's like an angel, like the face of an angel coming out of the clouds and it's like, oh, that's what's like being around him. He's just so fucking.

gorgeous. So the movie ends and everyone claps even though they were probably like, what the fuck was that? Like an unfinished short film. Because it says like coming soon to a theater near you. I guess it was like a preview. Like they made a preview of the movie. Yeah. So now it was like, yeah, I know everyone's complimenting him and that's great.

But I need to see more range from Shane because like I've got a BS in acting. And actually like I was the best in the class. And my teacher told me that. And I train with the lady that discovered Orlando Bloom, who's, like, single right now. I mean, I don't know if he's single, but, like, he's getting divorced. So, like, call me. Call me. We can, like, bond over having the same acting teacher.

Yes. So Marcus is asking the dad, like, what did you think? What did you think? And then the guy's like, oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's good. And Marcus is like, all right, it's time to party now. I'm like, don't told the dad. Not around here.

Not here. we're gonna go celebrate okay so they're gonna all go out and shanes shanes uh tells his dad like i have to say you know you're probably up front like just because oh i'm sorry as dad says to him like you know uh not this is really good and not just because you're my son there's just so many directions that this film could go into is so great and like i love when the screen turned all like red and orange and you got like six faces like dad were you using during my my movie i was son I was. Bro, I love your movie, son.

I would have loved it more if it was going straight in my lungs. Can we make that happen? You just say that, dad. You know, you just say that. But wouldn't that be hilarious if my dad was like, like, everybody, like, did best up there, but you, like, you got third place. That would be so funny right now. So now we go to Barney's Beanery.

Everyone's Bar. Barney's Beanery, guys. But they go to the Santa Monica. which I think says something the show is so confusing why would you go from Formosa all the way to Santa Monica Barney's Beinerie is very close to you why do you go all the way to the other side of town that's why I didn't I think it's because I was like did they redo Barney's I was just there like year ago yeah I was like this is not right and eventually it said like found it in Santa Monica

so I think it's because Barney's beanery the we oh one has become like a hot spot it's like hard to get into now because Taylor Swift went there like once or twice and now like all the Gen Zs go there. So yeah, they had to go to the Santa Monica location which is so this show. Taylor Swift should like go to college so we could educate this country.

Everybody will go, you know? Positive things. Don't go to Barney's Beinerie. Go to a library. Don't clock up our drive bars. So they go to Barney's Beanery and Angelica has a friend there saying hi. And Angelica is just saying that they're

they went to a Shane's movie premiere and everything. She's like, yeah, like, really in my eyes, kind of, not really broken back. And then everyone walks in and they're like, Shane Davis and everything. But then on the other side of the room, there's issues. And everything.

It's funny. Then on the other side of the room, there's trouble in paradise between Marcus and kin, who have engaged. you forgot from earlier in the episode are in a better place than they've ever been before. Yeah. So we see Kim hug somebody and Marcus is like, Kimberly, can you read my lips? Because you're doing too many special hugs. And then we see a flashback to quit Kim hugging people. And Marcus is like, I don't want to see none of that. I'm a DJ now. And it's the second time I've seen it.

She's like, um, we just celebrated our 10 month anniversary and like he's going to celebrate it by like being a dick about me hugging people. Like, what the hell? Like, bro, you don't trust me? And he's like, yeah, well, here's the story, you guys. I hugged Natalie the wrong way Tom Tom one day, and she totally called me out for it. Oh, so since we're talking hugs, since we're talking hugs, I'm going to call it out. Boom. This is not a good pattern of behavior.

Like, yes, I thought that she was being totally irrational when she came at you for hugging Natalie. but this is you just exacting revenge is not going to help the situation also why are you guys celebrating your 10 month anniversary that is not an anniversary to celebrate that's a nothing that's a 10 you don't celebrate your 10 month anniversary that's no nine months but not the 10 month what's wrong with you people yeah you only sell you only celebrate the nine month because the baby's fucking finally out of you you know 10 months is so i can be drunk at least half the day again so they are continued to be toxic which is great. And now we see Marcus

standing next to Kim and they're like not even talking. And now we get a real big important thing about boo bears because Demi is like, hey Marcus, Marcus, offer to get your girlfriend a drink.

Offer to get your girlfriend to drink. Okay, give your girlfriend a drink. She's mad. Marcus, give her a drink. He's like, no, no, I don't even want that. And Tim he says, Kim, what do you want? She's like, a boo bear. She says, a what?

A blue bear? She says, a boo bear. A boo bear? It's called a boo bear. She says, yeah, it's called a boo bear. my god, where are the bathrooms? I'm going to lose it. Where are the bathrooms? Someone bring me my boo bear in the bathroom, please? So she goes to the bathroom to go cry. And then meanwhile, Mark's like, I don't want to do this.

This is stupid. And Demi's like, okay, you know what? Get your fucking girlfriend a boo bear. What? It's called a boo bear. What? A boo bear. Get her the boo bear. A boo bear. I don't want to get her a boo bear. Get her the boo bear. Get her the fucking boo bear. Like, no, I'm going to do two double titos with a splash lemon. She says, oh my God. Like seriously? So Kimberly. in the bathroom like, I'm okay now, I'm okay, guys, I'm okay.

A woman finds her strength. A woman finder's strength. And Demi comes into, or Demi comes into check on her. And she's like, I'm here without my drink. I'm like a devastated. Where's my drink?

Well, I just got mine right now, and you have no idea how long it's taken. Do you understand the line for boo bears is so long? It's a miracle you even got or going to get one. I'm just like tired of being ignored and made to seem like I did something wrong. And like, don't tell me to ignore him back, okay? Because it's not like that. Like, I can ignore him back, but like I've literally done absolutely nothing wrong. So like address something with me. Like, what the hell? Like, why is he upset with you just because you want a

boo bear? That's crazy. Because like, I don't even know. Like, I hugged somebody for too long. Like, sorry. You hugged a boo bear. Did you hug a boo bear? You hugged a boo bear. You hugged a boo bear, didn't you? Yeah. Like, I texted him. I only have eyes for you and I only love you. And you're the only only person that matters to me and you're the only person that I love. Like, stop. Okay, I'm trying to say this in a way where you don't get upset with me. Too late. There's no other way for me to take things. Okay, well, he's never going to change. This is who he is. And I'm telling you, he's going to wake up tomorrow and he's going to feel like shit. He's going to have regrets. You did nothing wrong. But he's like garbage and you should

walk away. Got it. So he's a great guy and we should stay together, right? Yeah. So like, we should get married because like he needs to take a step back and realize whatever he's projecting onto me is not me. And like, if he's a great. He's, keeps doing it, he's going to lose me. And I mean at this time, kind of. So they go back in, they go back out to the bars, that way she can get her boo bear. And then Angelica meanwhile is going through her issues. She's like,

I'm like, is this the time to Dr. Audrey? I think I'm going to. I don't know. I've got a broken bag. It's hard to decide. It's just so awkward. Awkward and painful for me. Awkward for her, but awkward and painful for me. Because my nerves are broken. Oh, God. I don't want to say anything. But oh, God. Okay. Andre, you want to talk? You want to talk, Audrey?

It's like, yeah, let me just finish this. Shane's dad is trying to smoke crack out of my lipstick tube. So just give me a second. I'll be right there. I'll be right. So they go sit down and Angelica is like, I'm going to stay the obvious and just say like my spine could never work again. So what's going on with you?

And she's like, um, definitely not good because like I've had time to think about stuff and my trust was broken. Because like I told you about a penis pump. And then like that wasn't cool for you to tell people like if I saw something in your drawer. Like, and then, you know, everybody made fun of you.

you'd feel embarrassed. I'm sorry, is, um, trust what we're calling backs now, because you said your trust was broken? Because I have a broken trust as well, okay? Um, so I just want to say that, like, if it wasn't in his drawer, it's like, on a shelf in the house. I saw it somewhere, or whatever. You would have seen it or I would have seen it stupid.

And she's like, yeah, I could, like, go on and subscribe and, like, find him using a penis pump right now. What's the big deal? It's like, that's not the point. You're missing the whole fucking point. Yeah, but it's like a dancer being afraid that they, someone saw their ballet shoes. Like, that's crazy.

She's like, girl, what the fuck that's wrong with you? How many times have you dropped on your head as a baby? She's like, are you okay? I really don't understand you at all. I really don't. I was sharing a story with you,

a private story, and I thought we could have a laugh about it girl to girl, okay? She's like, yeah, but that's what makes it a joke? It's like humorous. Like, what am you get about it? It's your joke pretty much. So, Audrey's like,

you don't have the right to take his business. But he started it. Yeah, but we were on a couch and our pajamas drinking matcha and closed door, Like, I wasn't doing it the way you were doing it. I mean, does Mata mean nothing to nobody anymore? You volumeized it, okay?

You gave the joke beautiful, large hair. I can't believe you volumized it to all these people. Don't wave your finger in my face. And the guys are watching, and they're like, wow, look at her go. She's really got it. She's really telling her off. And, uh, yeah, I was just like, you're crossing a line. Yeah, well, he owns out his business every day on his only fans.

Like, I haven't even seen it. Why are we only fans shaming people? So what? They do their only fans. Like, do the, let them do the only fans. What the fuck do you care? That's why she's losing this argument because she's not, she should just be staying in a place of like,

yeah, aired it out because I was mad at him because he hurt me. And then he's been playing games with me. And then he actually hurt me. And then he told me this thing. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to get revenge. Like, that's what she should say. But instead she's actually, like, shaming him for being on only fans.

It's like, what? Like I honestly don't think only fans is any worse than being on Vanderpump rules. So like you've already lost your moral high ground on this one. Well, you probably get paid more to be on only fans than you do to be on Vanderpump rules. That's for sure. But the point isn't that they're on only fans or they're sluts or whatever you want to say. The point is is that you betrayed your friend by taking something that was said in confidence and going and just apologize, Angelica. Like you were an asshole.

What the, you were the asshole here. sorry. And she's like, well, I never asked Audrey for the information. She told me. It's like, well, she's like, yeah, now I'm falling on the seward. Is that how you say it? Seward. People fight with them? Like, oh my God. Seward. Seward? She's like, okay, I will apologize for telling Lisa. That was like a little bit like, it kind of came out of diarrhea mouth, you know? She's like, yeah, but like the whole day came out like diarrhea mouth and you wouldn't even stop talking about it. I thought you found it funny. She's like, there's a time and a place.

There is a time in a place. She's like, okay, well, like, I'm sobbing. So then on the other side of the room, Jason's like, oh, my God, is she talking shit right now? They're like, yeah, that girl's holding it down. They're all judging it. They're like, yeah, she's doing great. The new girl's pretty good. Well, I guess they're all new girls.

But Jason's like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So then Angelica keeps going. And she's like, okay, well, like the problem here is you and I start a friendship. and then Chris calls me a fucking bitch and where's the apology? Okay, well, that's true too. I mean, you guys started a friendship and these guys are being douchebacks to this girl and you're jumping on the side of the guys. And immediately instead of being like, hey, guys, you shouldn't talk to her like that.

And you should apologize for breaking her back. And you should apologize for lying and standing her up and doing all this other stuff. So, you know, Audrey's wrong on this one too. Because that's kind of gross girl behavior. Because she's like, well, that's on him and then you and Angica. And so then Angelica goes, you're not a girl's girl, though. Anytime there's a guy in the room, you immediately take that need their validation. That's what it feels like.

So, Audrey's like, that's not fucking true. If we want to talk about men's validation, look at the two people that you've already been going after. I am not the one. That's not a bad point either, because you're saying she's going for maladivolization, but you jump right for Jason and then go straight to Shane to make Jason mad. So, I don't know. And so Angelica's like, well, I'm not sorry that I said it, but I am sorry that I hurt you because I care about you. She goes, that's literally contradicting yourself because what you said hurt me. And she goes, she's like, from where I stand, it's over.

I will never trust her again. I think she's disrespectful. The boys are okay. So done. Moving on. I think, yeah, but like, you don't want to trust me. Like, that's fine. But like, I want to look at myself like your big sister.

She's like, yeah, I don't need you as my big sister. and I give people 100% of my trust until they give me a reason not to so moving forward I'll be cordial to you and that's it. That was like a, I felt like a Huda move from Love Island. Like guys,

that's someone here who's in a good relationship. You can always come to me to talk. I will tell you the way. I'm just like, you are, uh-uh, I am not making you my sister. Get out of my face, stupid face. You're not my sister. My sister.

My sister. Well, I can't. I can't wait to find out what happened to Angelica's back. She probably just sprained it. But either way, we will find out soon enough. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Be sure to get your tickets to the Golden Crappies. February 27th in Hollywood.

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