Watch What Crappens - #3165 Southern Charm S11E07 Part 2: Chick Me Girl*

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapMadison has the ladies of Southern Charm over to her new house for a pajama party, but the guys crash it and Austen unites them all against Craig. Also, Salley gets desperation chicks who chirp “pick me” and still loses the guy. *by Ben Mandelker del Toro **Happy Bagel Friday To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, we'll go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So now we go to the barnyard feed and supply. And Sally's there. And Craig shows up. And it's time to buy some chickens. So we know this because she goes, ready to buy some chickens. And he's like, I love. places like this. Did you work this morning? I love that he goes, did you work this morning? And she's dressed fully in scrubs. No, she just came back from an all-night black tie ball. Like, what? I just did some free surgery in my backyard on my friend who suggested I get chicks. That's all. Yeah. So they go to this barnyard supply place. And there is like a representate. There's like a dog in a position representing Sally on the ground. It's just like laying there like completely open. Like, please just pet me i'll do anything you want just i'm here for you so she's like i'm really into chicks well craig's really into chicks yeah don't have a ring on my finger though i had one at one time

maybe i'll have another one right Craig it's like so they go and they go to this like this the chicken area and they look at some chicks and she's like i want one of those so they they they they're basically holding these little chicks and uh is like, wow, it's a little chick. Did you know that you're being held by a celebrity with a pillow empire? Congratulations, little chick. And Sally's like, hey, do that bot? Do that bot?

And the store clerk's like, well, you know, they might pack you if you have a ring on your finger. Hand, hand, hand, Craig. Just giving you a little assist there, Sally. Yeah, and that's when she says, yeah, I used to have a ring, but I don't anymore. And then the other lady's like, don't worry, I used to have a ring, too. I don't have one anymore either. It's just our little secret. Girl who can't stay married in a town full of patriarchy.

I used to be an investment banker, and when my man left me, I took a golf club to his windshield, and now I work at the chicken feed store. Anyway, have fun browsing. That's just between me and you, just us two girls. Just us two girls. Just us two girls. Yeah, I'm just here to get some chicks. You're trying to get a man?

That's why I opened this chicken coop. I've been helping single girl since 1976. Take this chicken and just know by the strike of midnight, this man will be. He'll be the same, but you'll just have a chicken at midnight. You'll still be single, but you'll be less lonely. you have little tiny chicken pellets all over your kitchen. Is it the strike of midnight or the stroke of midnight? It's the stroke, but I like to say the strike.

Just a little more dramatic that way. Jack's like, what? What? I'm not doing anything. We're not accusing you of stroking, Jack. Okay. We're talking. Jack, take those little miniature hockey mess off the chicks.

Someone cancel Craig's HBO. Jack has the two chicks on little extras. bikes pedaling fast. So Sally, Sally, it's like, well, I could get another, you know, because they're holding the chickens. And Craig goes, yeah, I thought you were supposed to get chickens and threes. And she goes, oh, I've always wanted three kids.

God, Sally, you were so sad. You're so sad. Stop. You're hurting my feelings. Are you supposed to get chickens in threes? Is that a thing? No, but Craig's a fucking life destroyer. And this is what he does.

It's not enough that she's getting one chicken for your approval. No, now she has to get three chickens for your approval. You're going to ruin her lifetime three. Well, according to Google, getting chickens in threes is a great idea because they are flock animals. And three provides a good starter number, ensuring two are left if one is lost, preventing loneliness. That's not how threesomes work. That's for sure. You can't prevent loneliness on this show.

I'll tell you that much. No. And just in general, three. I guess threesomes work different for humans because when you have a threesome in real life, there's always just one person like, oh, why are they more into each other than they're into me? Why am I still thinking about hostess donuts? I just ate them last night. You're always supposed to have three hostas donuts at a time. Thank you.

Well, that's advice I'm going to. So then, so she always, she always wanted three kids to match one for each chicken. That's why I'm excited to see where this potentially could go with me and Craig, because we both want to settle down, we both want to have kids, we both want to take care of chickens. Okay, lady, what else do I need? Well, you're going to need a golf club. You've got to know where he's going to be at 8 p.m., so that way you're not there when he's there. And honestly, if you take a key to the side of his car, that's effective too.

Might I suggest a starter pack of a chicken feed and maybe a stack this big of Dick's sporting goods cards, just for when you make a man. Red spray paints that way you can make sure the penis really pops on the side of his car. Some of that spray you spray over their bald spots, they feel a little less insecure at the country club. Have you considered a Molotov cocktail for his living room? Cymide. Just cyanide. Here you go.

No, no, no, for the chicks. Oh, well, for the chicken, you chick starter. you know when you ask what should I start with chick starter duh stupid face you also need grits grits okay I'll take this stuff up for you guys get everything ready and stuff y'all go go ahead and shoot your scene here that's what everybody in this episode does are like okay guys well we've looked at your baby inside your stomach so I'm just going to go take care of my customers while you all film a scene okay how far has this clinic fallen well sally I think you're going to be a mom and a great wife. I mean, you kissed your sister. What? Was he talking about the chicks? The chicks

kissed each other? I'm not sure. But so then Sally's like, put her back. Put the chicks back. Okay. She's not yours. She's mine. Okay. He's like, I'm jealous because usually I'm good at pulling the trigger. But it's like really neat to see you say, hey, fuck it. Why not? Let's like get chickens. I find that to be a really attractive quality in someone makes me kind of be attracted to you, theoretically, am I sending the wrong mixed signals to you, Sally? You know, I've always been really attracted to the friends of people who are willing to pull the trigger like you just did. God, I wonder how Charlie's doing right now. I wonder how Jack is doing pulling the trigger on those grits over there in the corner.

She's like, yeah, well, you know what? I see something and I want something. I just do it. I literally ordered a chicken coop the next day after we talked about a chicken coop. He's like, see, the hot tub leads to amazing ideas. I mean, like, obviously me and you got to be real good friends, but I've been catching some feelings, and I'm just saying, like, I could date you. And he's like, uh, uh, yeah, well, uh, yeah, I'd like to say I could also date you. I could also date you. Just won't put my hand. I'm going to put my hat in the ring here too before it's too late. Okay. No? Okay, I'll back out. Back to the grits. When I said chicken starter, I didn't mean you, gay assistant. Go back to your car. So Greg is like, uh, we're just friends. Oh, yeah.

Okay. I mean, I guess if you don't see yourself being in a relationship or moving down that path, and why are we hanging out in a hot tub till 4 a.m.? Because he wants to fuck you, Sally. What are we not getting? I don't understand. It doesn't mean that hanging out, hanging out in a hot tub wasted until 4 a.m. is not marriage behavior.

I don't know where she got that. like, wait a minute, you don't want to get married? Then why are you hanging out in hot tub getting wasted with multiple women until four in the morning? But I will say this, though, in Sally's defense, I don't think Sally is opposed to that either. And I kind of feel like she's in the hot tub until 4 a.m. because she thought they were going to fuck.

And it didn't happen. So she's like, well, maybe he wants something more serious. Because I think it did kind of happen because remember when Corey, Corey said something like, yeah and then like she's just slept over or what and then sally just like gave that little eyebrow like well so i think she was i mean i think she was hooking up with crag don't you i don't believe that they they weren't own in i mean do you yeah oh i guess i haven't made it clear i don't know it's hard to say so many subtleties in this show at all times it's a very subtle nuance but they also use code for things because it's a southern show you know so they can never just say fuck they have

to say, Spentonthe night, took the golf cart out the next day, you know, because they have to be very chaste, I guess. But, you know, it's like Craig being addicted to Adderall. It's Coke. Just say Coke. Just say Coke. So, I mean, I've never been in a situation where, like, a girl really thought I liked her and I did it. And I think Sally is reading into our interactions in a fantasy way. I'm sure there have been many girls on this show and not on the show who thought that you liked them. and you're i i guarantee that craig gets off by like the attention of women who are fawning over him so she's yes of course and also craig you know you have been either fucking sally or heavily

flirting with sally it's not crazy for her to think that you would like her this is not crazy you're such an asshole of course and of course you're doing this of course you fucking are but also sally like craig's behavior is documented and you should know better than to invest in a chicken coop just for his affection. So he's like, we're just distractions to each other. And like, I have no problem just being friends with you. So like, what's wrong with that? She's like, nothing.

We're just friends. And at this point, she's like, now I just want to point out, she bought her chicks. I did not know this. But like the chicks, when you baguette chicks from the store, they come in like a Dunkin' Donuts munchkins box. I was like, are there any donut holes in there by any chance? Yeah, that's what they come in. I've bought chips before.

Really? Believe it or not. Yeah. It's a very guilty story. I feel bad because I just, I didn't know how to take care of them. They all died. I just felt terrible. I'm sorry.

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now let's go to Charlie's apartment. Charlie is, she is trying to braid her own hair. And, you know, first time doesn't work out so well. Second time, nails it. So she called. calls her mom. She's like, hey, Charlie girl, I'm waiting for you to call. Why did you forget about your mother? Are you being decent still? Okay, well, listen, tell me everything. What's going on with your life? And she's like, well, like, what's been going on over there, mom? How's the stores? Like, oh, you know, covering both stores. Just running back and forth. But the good thing is, they're side by side like me and your dad, because we're in a relationship. What's going on with you and your relationships? Nothing?

Wow. So is your relationship doing healthy and thriving? Like my marriage? my store or is it a clearance rack of sadness? Has that going for you, Charlie? And she's like, well, my mom is like the owner of two boutiques in my town and they're like right beside each other and we see the boutiques and it's Denise's boutiques, sweet teas and Mary Frances Limited. Merry Francis. Ooh, fresh off the runway in Milan.

Mary Frances Limited. You know you're going to get some cutting edge designs there. It's all the clothes that Mary Francis was inspired to make after she's, visited limited 20 years ago. It's making Gwyns seem very cutting edge. I miss Gwen's. We need Gwen's. I remember when they're like, hey, Catherine, will you do all our social media influencing for us? And she's like, yes. And then it was just like big giant ballgown ruffles,

but for a tea party. I know. I miss. I miss it. What a great department store. I mean, we did see, I feel like I saw Gwyns in the back of one of the scenes. This time I refer to it not as the store, but the other, like, whatever the lady Gwen, the girl, Gwen, the daughter of twins, who was a nightmare in below deck. So Denise's like, what you doing, Charlie? And she's like, well, I was in the gallery and Craig came in. He should talk about how his friend is an oyster farm. He wants to like go hang out. She's like, how so you got a date in an oyster farm? Okay, okay. I mean, I prefer to my daughter.

didn't come back, smell my fresh seafood, but, you know, a date to date. Well, that's nice. I mean, it is kind of like giving the guy the cow when he's getting the bill for free. I mean, give him oysters and everything. You know what they say about oysters, don't you, honey? It just leads to sin and sex. Hope he's got a wedding ring in his pocket. She's like, I just, I know, but mom, I'm just going to, I'm going to feel weird about it

because Sal is, like, putting it out there that she likes him also. And Denise is like, you will get into a celebrity relationship, whether you like it or not. Okay, anyway, back to Mary and Francis Limited. We've just been selling out of so many camisoles. Okay, go on your date, sweetheart. And don't forget, men outrank women. Okay, honey, talk to you soon. Yeah, she basically is like, don't you dare lose this opportunity.

He is wealthy. He is attractive. And he is on TV. Go to the oyster farm. Yeah, and Charlie is like, yeah. I mean, I feel guilty about being excited about my date with Craig because I know that Sally would have said yes to a similar date. She's like trying to find a way to word it. Just say it.

Sally pick Sally. Sally peeing on him first. She said that was her man first. And it's against girl code to go for the man. But, I mean, if you have a defense, it's that Sally said that about every man. And she doesn't get to just pick every single man. You don't get to call dibs on every man. Okay.

You get one sample. you get one sample, not the whole tray of samples. That's right. Because if the chicken starter doesn't start, it's on to something new. So now we go over to Madison getting an ultrasound. Madison is the name of other Gwins. She was the other Madison. So, but this is non-Gwyns, Madison.

No, I don't want to know the name of the other of Gwins. I just want to call her Gwins. Her name is Gwins. Her name is Gwins. So Madison's there and Sally's there. and it's time for an ultrasound. So Sally's like, you know, I do view Madison as like a big sister-a-mus and seeing her get everything she's ever wanted.

After going through everything she went through, it just gives me hope, and it makes me want it all the more for myself. So that's all nice and everything. I mean, I don't think that, like, Madison went through years and years on this show of being like, God, I hope I have a baby. God, I hope I find a really hot guy. She just sort of got those things. But there were challenges.

obviously Brett had a health scare. And the other thing is, I think it's funny that she... Austin. Yeah, exactly. That was the trauma. Austin. It was. That was the trauma.

But it's funny that Sally's like, I look at Madison as my big older sister, but note that she did not tell Madison. Like, I just bought three chickens to get to win over Craig. Because Madison would have been like, what the hell is wrong with you? I know, Madison. Madison's like,

thank you so much for bringing me this little side of chicken dumplings. This is very, very tender. He's the freshest chicken numbs I ever had in my life. Where'd you get these? Some farm to table place. And then we see the baby. Like, they do the ultrasound, and we see the baby inside her, which is like horrifying. I mean, it's just like, it's just like a little pencil eraser, like just melted and smudged up against the lens, like this.

And they're saying, oh, my God, that looks like Hudson. I've never been more offended for somebody. What is Hudson going to feel like watching this and seeing that that's what you think of Hudson? That looks like a bugger, like, flicked up against a window. What are you talking about? I just don't. I still don't get it when they show us the ultrasounds on these shows. Or just like when a friend is like, look at this ultrasound.

Isn't that, they're so sweet. Isn't that so cute? I'm always like, first of all, on a normal ultrasound, I see nothing. To me, it looks like a sweater pattern. But then on these, the 3D ones, I'm like, it just looks like the monster from the abyss. I mean, it's just like, I don't know. It's like, it's like 1993 CGI. Like, it doesn't make any sense to me.

I'm like, it's cool. It's cool. You can see a baby's face. I just, I don't, they all looks the same to me. I just, all I see every time I look at an ultrasound is all the extra gum I'm going to have to

carry in my pocket for the next 18 years. Like, oh, God. I'm always going to have something for this baby because I love it. Oh, God, I love it. I went to my friend's house who just had a baby and met the baby for the first time. Oh, my God.

This baby. is so beautiful and cute. I was just staring at the baby. And then the baby was staring into my eyes. Like, it just held icon. We just sat there and stared at each other's eyes while I rubbed the baby's belly. And I was like, is this weird? And they're like, no, no, honey.

It's not weird at all. I'm like, I love you. I'm always going to love you. Okay, let's start memorizing my number. Okay. It's a Brooklyn number still. Okay. It's going to be a little confusing for you.

Seven, one, eight. I'm your uncle. Uncle Rantle. 7.18. Uncle Rondell. I love you. So now Sally and Madison are alone and

Madison's like, hey, what's the situation with Greg? You didn't do anything dumb. Like, get him chickens or anything like that. She's like, no, but yeah, but hey, I told him, hey, I'm starting to get feelings for you. And then he said, we're just friends. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's fucked up because I'm like, he was flirting with me

after that first night in the hot tub. And when he said, like, that was fun. And I said, yeah, it was. I mean, I think when a girl says, yeah, it was to you saying that was fun. It's pretty obvious. You're pretty much married at that point. Can I just point out before we go on with the scene? And I'm so sorry to go back.

They look at the baby. First of all, Sally, of course, makes it all about her. She's like, oh, my God, but I want a baby. I'm on a happy life like Madison's got. Okay, so they show this baby. And Madison goes, that baby looks fat. Okay, Southern Mother. That is a Southern mother right there.

That baby's already got a Weight Watchers. Okay, go ahead. sorry. Just like it really hit home for me. I was like, damn it, is it just every Southern mother? Okay, so she's like, yeah, I mean, you know, he said we're just friends. I mean, that's fucked up. I mean, we moved on the hot tub

together, you know, and then we see a text message and text exchange. And Craig's like, that was fun. And she's like, yeah, I should have, I should have, if you wanted, but I did want, invite me to stay next time. Sleep well, see you next week. And he's like, you too, makes it harder to fall asleep than normal.

And then he says he just wants to be friends later. So Madison's like, he's giving all fuckboy vibes. He's not giving all fuckboy vibes. He is a fuck boy. So then Sally was like, I read that as, hey, come sleep next to me, which is correct. And the producer's like, is there any way to misconstrue a text like that? And she's like, I don't think there's any way to misconstrue a text like that to you? So Madison's like-

No, I think that he did want to have sex with you. and you probably did have sex. And I think that you wanted to have sex with him too. I think there's just that line where he thought, I'm a fuck boy and you're a fuck girl. And so we have this like thing where it's like we're both just messing around because we're both fuck boys. So you're not allowed to catch feelings.

Do you think that's what is going through his mind? I think he's keeping Sally as an option. I think he wants Charlie and he's like, but you know, I'm going to keep something sort of brewing with Sally. but then she pushes it to like you now have to make a decision so he's like okay well if I have to make a decision then no I'm not going to be I'm not going to be anything more with you but if she had never done that he would have kept it like sort of like like the flirtation's going so that way he has that as an option now we go over to Wittner at a bar and he's like Craig is there and Rodrigo and everyone and or they're going to all be showing up soon enough and Wittner's saying that, you know, he was saying that, like, Austin was in good spirits the other day.

And because, like, because then, like, Austin went out with, like, he went to a place called high time, spell time, time, like, T-H-Y-M-E. It's a, it's wordplay. High time. Right? And then, and so anyway, Austin went out with Sally. And Craig is like, what? You mean they're besties?

When did that happen? And when there's like, no, they're, yeah, they've just been, they're really close. You didn't know that? And you see that Craig is really bothered, like really bothered. It's funny. I love that Craig shows his anger on his face so clearly. He's like, oh, Austin's close with Sally? And he's like, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. So now here comes Craig the wrecking ball to completely decimate Sally. Because what is Sally done? She has messed up his fuckboy arrangement with her. and now she has liked Austin this whole time. So Craig didn't want her, but now that he knows that she probably wants Austin, he's going to ruin her life.

Right. So he's like, that's strange, the two of them hanging out because Sally tells everything, everything, and Austin doesn't tell anyone anything, right? I'm like, I don't see your point in this. That sounds like a perfect bearing. And obviously, she doesn't tell everyone anything

because she didn't know that she was even close with Austin. I know. Sucker. So, Rodrigo and Austin arrive. And it's like, Oh my God. I'm wearing a pair of shoes

that I've never worn before. And I kind of went for it. This is it crazy. Oh my God. My cat dad. The shoes are Garfield slippers. Cat dad. I like when Craig said,

you and Rod dressed the same. And me and Witt dressed the same. Yeah, because you're guys in Charleston. There's like four things you guys wear. Kackies and Tommy Bahama. Flowered shirt. Yeah, Tommy Bahama shirt.

and doctors. That's it. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So over at Madison's house, she's got the pajama party going on. She's got setting it all up and everything. Vanita shows up and promptly drives

all over the curb. And she comes on in and she's like, oh, sorry about that. He's still under contraction here a little bit. Okay, why don't you put that right there? So she oh, she goes, will you not put that right there? Because Vanita puts her back.

on the counter. And it's like, what's wrong? There's tension. And she's like, no, no, we're just going to make pizza over there. Put it somewhere else. So we see scenes of Anita looking at the house being like, oh, my God, is this like 6,000 square feet? Yeah, make sure he is.

My husband's a firefighter. Suck at everybody. So she tries on some PJs because she's got PJs for everybody. And then, I don't know, it's kind of boring. You know, some of the girls scenes sometimes just start off like, I mean, I guess the guy scenes do too. They just talked about patterns. They're just like, well, you want some to drink? Sure, I've been dehydrated.

You want some electrolytes? I was like, oh, God, this episode's going to suck. I know, me too. I was like, uh-oh. It's not like the girls' nights of cast past, you know, because there once was a really, really strong cast of women on this show, who have all since been fired because they are no longer having sex with the men on this cast. But that's another story for the HR that doesn't exist on this show. Whitney. So Vinita says, well, hopefully today will be good because I haven't seen Sally in like a week.

Oh, yeah. I saw her the other day. She came with me and we saw a baby, brought me the most delicious chicken. And Craig basically said it's not going to be anything more than a friendship. And I think he kind of gave her false hope. And he was like, yep, I knew it. She's like, part of me wants to be like, duh. But the other part of me wants to be like, damn, I'm sorry.

But yeah, I told your ass you were going to get friends owned by Craig. So Madison's like, but doesn't he like Charlie? And she's like, yeah, and I think it's going to hurt Sally's feelings when that comes out. I wonder if it will ever come out. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, but how is she the only person that, well, I think that she does know that he likes Charlie. She just is going to like try and win, you know, versus Charlie. So then we go back to the guy's night.

And Craig's like, I asked Charlie to go to the oyster farm with me, like Tray's Oyster Farm. and Austin says, I'm a day, oh, I'm a day, Craig. Yeah, I didn't say a date. I just said, hey,

you want to go to my friend's oyster farm? Because then, like, if she had said no, then I would have been like, yeah, yeah, of course, obviously, like,

I'm totally into Sally anyway. We've got chickens together. Yeah, Craig is so slippery. He's not even committing to say that this is a date. So then Austin's like, Craig is like the kind of guy that, like,

who needs to know, like, that he is insecurely first and he has to hear from like two different, references and get annotated bibliography and then he'll like ask her out. Okay. So then Madison, back at Madison's, Charlie arrives.

An annotated bibliography. It's not his best work. So people are showing up and they're like, they're like, look, Madison has some crazy, you know, oven that Vinita can't figure out. And she's like, it's the Louis Vuitton of ovens, which does not actually, I don't, I don't feel, I don't feel. to hear that's the Louis Vuittano above it that actually makes me trust it less like what do I care i ain't go cook so they're working on that because they're going to be setting up their their whole pizza station and everything and more people show up charlie's there this girl Lauren is there who's like Madison's friend who is upstairs she comes down and um vanita's asking if sally's going to be

arriving and mollie says that uh that sally is tending to her chickens yeah um then sali She's like, oh, wow, Madison, this is incredible. You look so cute. You just look so cute. You know, after I went and saw that little baby inside of you the other day, I just went home. I was driving the whole way home, and I couldn't stop crying and saying over and over again, wasted eggs, wasted eggs. I don't know what that was about, but I feel much better now. Good to see you.

So there's like, there's coldness between Vanita and Sally. And she explains, honestly, Vanita was right about Craig. but I'm just like a little bit annoyed with her saying like don't call me when the shit hits the fan like I'm mad now um so she's still like I mean Vinina was right you just have to deal with it but uh she's mad now that she's like Vinita was right and that she doesn't feel like she can you know call her up and be like hey don't me but she warned you sorry sorry lady yeah you know I feel like part of it is just that Vanita was like He is going to just destroy you. He's going to walk you like a dog on a leash and then nah, nah, nah. I mean, I think that, look, anybody, any couple of people that like each other or one likes the other, they have a right to say it. And the other person has a right to not be as into it as the other person.

So at this point, I don't really think Craig has done anything that terrible. But don't worry because he's about to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He hasn't done anything. And I'm like, Vina, it wasn't totally right. I mean, Greg didn't, like, destroy the girl or anything. Like, he didn't totally fuck her over. But, oh, he's about to.

Vinita's about to become completely 100% right. If there's anything we know about Craig is that he doesn't like being the bad guy. And so now he is going to immediately start painting Sally to be the crazy one and villainizing her. Because it's two things. It's double-pronged. He's going to look like the bad guy because of the Sally thing. But Sally, he's also just found out. that Sally has chosen Austin without Craig even knowing it.

And so Craig is going to fucking try to destroy this girl. What a pig. What a fucking pig. You know, people in the comments who are like, you know, they always tell me to Craig. No,

no, no, it's nonstop. It's not stop. It's not stop. It's page. It's because of Craig. We've been watching Craig every episode of this show.

We know Craig's bullshit and we don't fucking fall for it, okay? So if you think it's something to do with Paige, you are sadly mistaken. Rewatch this show. Craig is terrible. Yeah, I mean, we've been down on Craig so often. I mean, we've definitely had times where we've been very up on Craig. You know, we've, we've hung out with Craig and he's very lovely in person.

But like the truth is on this show, he's kind of garbage. And that's just how it is. And honestly, if you like Craig and you're mad that we don't like Craig, that's fine too. But like, yeah, of course. But like, I'm like, I'm not phased. If someone's like mad at me because I don't like Craig, I'm going to be like, you're wasting your anger on me. Yeah.

You're wasting or any of the guys on this show because they all take turns being complete shitheads. Like this season, Austin's getting a good one because Austin's playing it very smart. Austin's really learned how to do it. Get a girlfriend out of town. So no one will see you treating her like shit or ignoring her or doing whatever. And you use her that way. Get a couple of kittens. Get the audience back on your side.

I mean, he's playing it right. Chef's playing it right where he's just like, oh, gosh, I'm just a boy who loves Cuban communism, you know? So he's doing that whole thing. He's staying out of it. So Craig's the only one in the muck this season. Yeah. So meanwhile, at the bar, you know, Craig's like,

what are the girls up to tonight? And Rodrigo reveals that they're doing a pajama party over at Madison's house. I was like, whoa, whoa, what do we like go to the next bar? Like, make it a plan. Then we can like, crap. Because Craig's like, we should crash it. Yeah, but let's go to a bar first. we get drunker and then we crash it because that'll be even better if we're drunk and crash it at the same time.

Yeah. So where are we? Boy is Austin. Sorry, I got it. Meanwhile, the girls are in the living room. Has chef caught his marlin yet?

What'd you say? Sheff caught as Marlin. Yeah, so chef is in Cuba and they're looking at pictures. And Austin's like, Hey, right. We just need to turn it up. Oh, look at this. Shepp just texted.

Garsh. God, look at everybody. I'm back on the mainland. And whoa, Jeff got himself a fucking Marlin. They're like, wow. Winners like, on a fly too nice. Like, wow, Marlin, wow, gosh, wow. Wow, I'm like Hemingway in Cuba right now.

So the girls are in the living room and they're like, you know, Math is like, well, I wonder what the guys are doing up to tonight? And Molly's like, probably something, probably something lame, like not playing a small tuba. And Madison's like, well, Sally, I hope you don't mind. I told Vanita and Molly by Craig. She's like, well, I'll tell you guys all day. I tried to tell him my feelings for him. And he was making me feel like my feelings were insane.

Told you. Told you. Vanita's like, told you. Ha, ha, ha. And she goes, I'm going to kick myself on the foot for saying this, but why didn't you call me? She goes, what? You told me not to call you when I had conflicts with Greg.

She goes, I know, don't get busy with me. You're the one sitting there like laughing at her pain, ma'am. Yeah, seriously. I mean, even though you earned this, I told you so, but you're literally laughing, laying back and saying, I told you so, and then saying, why didn't you call me? You told her not to call you. Yeah.

So, of course, Vanita is like getting her, she can't help it. She's going to get her victory lap, even though she's irrationally upset that she didn't get called. And so Vanita's like, she's like, that's crazy. This is crazy. It sounds like, well, tell me what is crazy. Just, are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me? I got to go home. I'm like, wait, Vita, this is not a big enough, like you're just barely starting the issue here. It's barely starting to fight. You can't leave right now. Like, you're just got the foothills.

She left because Vanita says, I mean, come on. I just hate that you had to find out the hard way. I'm not mad at you. And Sally goes, well, yeah, you have no reason to be mad at me. She goes, okay, well, I'm out of here. So now Vanita is upset, which is too bad because she's about to miss out on like her biggest redemption ever, which is when Craig and Austin come over in about five minutes. Yeah, no, not a wise move. So she's like, she's dismissed my feeling. She shows no regard for me. And she doesn't hear me when I talk.

I can't even. So I'm leaving. And she's like, why are you so dramatic? She goes, I'm not that dramatic because she's leaving kind of quietly. It's not like she's like storming out. angrily or anything. She's just like, I'm leaving. And she goes, but you are dramatic. And she says Vanita's being immature and she's not putting up with Vanita shit anymore. She can't. So Vanita leaves and then boom, the guys go to Sharehouse. And Austin orders

Orange Crush. Orange Crush. Everybody. Orange Crush, everyone. All right. All right, everyone. Speaking of crushes, you and Charlie have a thing, right? I was like, no, no. Well, come on. Crack. It's like, well, we've never got to hide. out away from Sally before. So we're like, let's do a fun thing because Sally's crazy. Always showing up. Hashtag soccer. I'm scared. Here it goes. Here it goes. He's going to villainize Sally now. And now it's Sally's fault that he's never hung out with Charlie. And Sue, he's like, yeah. So we were like, let's go do a thing. No, you were like, let's go do a thing. Stop making it sound like Charlie was like, oh my God, Sally's always around. Let's go do something just me and you. No, Craig. No reframer.

Yeah, seriously. So, but you know, this is Craig. This is exactly what he does. He's always going to make other people seem like the crazy ones. He's always going to try to like do the scenario. He just did it with Page, right? So he's like, here's the thing. I've been spending too much time with Sally, but the truth of the matter is the main reason I go out with him is because I like hanging with Charlie. I barely even know who is Sally. I'm confused. I never met her before. I just thought she was the car that Charlie drives. And I like to get to. I like to get her. in the car. That's it. Yeah. Okay, but like, she was like your best friend for a month. I'm thinking Austin, hanging out with someone doesn't make them your best friend. And Rodriguez's like, you know, I think Sally thought there was something between you. He's like, yeah, because she's like always around.

Like, whatever. And Austin's like, Craig is completely minimizing disregarding the friendship. It's like the faucet is on and he just runs it dry. And then you're like, man, you don't know how to turn a friendship on and off? It's very, very strange. Very strange. You know what else is like a faucet turning on and off?

Austin, when he speaks. Seriously, I just covered my computer and spent. I'm just concerned that Charlie's going to be stressed out because she's constantly worried about how Sally feels. She's scary. We should run her out of town. Austin's like, Thank God she bought chickens and not bunnies because they'd all be boiled.

I don't, look. Austin's like, well, I think that now it becomes a thing, Greg. Like, you might divide a friendship of all of a sudden by doing that. I just, what? No, I would never do that because any time Charlie and I would even talk, Sally would pop up and say, what are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about? I mean, Sally is chaos, man. It's a tornado.

You never know who's going to get sucked into it. And you never know who's going to get, like, it's going to get filled. It's going to get head. He says, you never know where it's going to get head, but I, I mean, you never know where it's going to head, but I like that you thought of it. You never know who's going to get ahead. I'm like, I've misread the notes. And I'm just like, wait.

I hope it made so much sense. The thing is this, okay, like, there is a shred of truth to this, which is that Sally marks her territory and then she's going around like, you're not talking to Craig, are you not talking to Craig? Like, she definitely does do that. But, like, Craig, as far as we can tell, has always been fine with it, has always been happy. And then now all of a sudden, when the span of like 12 hours since the chicken feed store,

He's like, she is a tornado of chaos and she's going to suck you in and you're going to be lucky if you make it out alive. Why did you go to the chicken feed store with her? I mean, could there be anything more chaotic than going to a pet store? Well, also, maybe he's right in that she does do that stuff, but he's the one seeding the tornado by flirting with Sally. If he knew that he liked, she liked him the whole time and he's still inviting her over to do the hot tub and this and that just to make Charlie jealous. Like, he's doing that on purpose and making her. it's like he's making her crazy and then saying she's crazy, you know? Yeah, typical.

A hundred percent. Fucking Craig is just right out of his playbook. It's so fucking gross. When he started doing this, I was booing my TV. And I was happy that the other guys were being kind, you know, and that Austin and Rodrigo were at least sticking up for her. I mean, Rodrigo mostly just by like raising his eyes and his glasses and looking around the room as he does. But he did say a couple things. And I like that Austin stuck up for her.

And he was like, she doesn't bring chaos. She's like, fine. single and cute she's out of her hair this season and Craig is like none of this is like malicious i'm not i'm just saying i'm telling you that much of our decisions are based around sally i mean me and charlie go to this oyster bar tomorrow and now it's like how how said is sally going to be like it just confirms already like but i already thought that this might be too much chaos to continue to hang out with sally so let's get rid of her from our friend group because like i'm done toying with her so why is she even on this show anymore this show is about us getting to

fuck with women until we're done with them and then getting them fired. So fire her already. I know. I mean, like, it is annoying when there is that one person where like, no matter what you do, it's like, if you like decide you want to go to dinner with someone. It's like, but we didn't invite so and so. Oh, no. Like, oh. And then you've spent all your time worrying about this other person instead of just going to fucking dinner. Like, I get that. But Craig is sort of, he is really kind of like. Because he's been putting around at the whole time. Yeah. Like she's like that because he's making everybody think that he likes everybody. So then, you know, Austin's like,

I just feel like Sally has a really good kind heart, you know, almost like what people say about cat dads. So Craig is like, Austin should be happy for me. But whenever I get excited to tell him something, he just turns it negative. When you can't share with your friends, wins with your friends, you just don't want to talk

to him anymore about. Oh, come on. Oh, God. His whole sharing is the wins. The win is that you asked Charlie to an oyster farm that you won't even like acknowledge as a That's the win. Luser behavior. And loser behavior.

It's sadistic and psychotic. So now he pulls with Anita. He's like, I'm going home. Oh, that's what you're going to do right now, Craig. He's like, yeah, because this is exhausting. I'm going to watch a movie. See you guys. Bye.

So he goes home. And then the guys decide to go to Madison's. They knock on the, they like bang on the door and everything. They come in and they all say hi and everything. Oh my God, it's cute. It's a pizza. a party yada yada yada yada they're talking so austin's like okay all right the suspense is killing me all right this is this fun oh i can't wait to talk and man's like why isn't he here why isn't craig here's like oh well craig's not here basically because i think he's like mad at like sally because he was

like very quick to be like oh me and sally are done and sally's like what what exactly do you say about me yeah he's like you're a tornado and uh i mean basically he said he called you a hornado but we had to reshoot it because they thought that wouldn't be nice for Bravo but he said you basically leave a path of destruction wherever you go

dead chickens feathers everywhere and what what does he fucking leave then well I thought it was an unfair characterization I'm like you've been hanging out with Sally for like a month

like a month yeah texting me that you want me to set your fucking house you fucking loser yeah and he was like yeah well I've been thinking about this for a long time that Sally is like this and that

and the other not the other I mean, he said he's been thinking about this for a long time. I don't even know he could think. What a fucking prick. I'm going to freak the fuck out. So much for having to reback you so fucking hard, you fucking asshole. Seriously, I wish you y'all brought him here so I could look him dead in the eyes and say,

fuck you, dead eyes. And then he just gets juicy. It just gets juicy for Sally and Charlie. It's like, I don't think that Charlie can be the person that she wants to be when Sally's around. What? Charlie has a voice on this and then Rodrigo. finally ascending to the role of the messy gay he should have always been because he goes wait but like Charlie's about to go on a date with him so don't scare her and she goes Molly's like oh Molly's like and I actually genuinely think that I mean he was being messy but I also everyone everyone was like what and Charlie was like um okay okay okay okay okay okay be decent be decent okay look look look I haven't said anything because like I was waiting until we could

be alone, Sally. But yesterday at my art gallery, we were like literally talking about oysters. And he was like, hey, one of my friends is a low country oyster farm. We can go on a tour of it. And then Jack was like, I would love to. And he said, no, not you, Jack, Sally. I mean, Charlie. And I was like, me, are you sure not Jack?

It's like, no, you for sure. And then Jack went off and cried. Anyway, we're going at the oysters tomorrow. I said, that sounds fun. And so I was like, well, this is news to me. Because you told me a couple weeks ago, I would say no to a date with Craig if he asked me. So it was just like confusing. and I want honesty from you.

And this is, are we going to say the same thing? Are we going to say the same thing, Roddy? No, you say it. I'm like, listen, I can't help but feel like this is a bit of a echo of what happened with Vanita and Sally in the beginning of the season, right? Was that what you mean? Vanita was like, Craig did me dirty. Like, don't hang out with him. Like, you shouldn't hang out with him because he, because he, because he, because he was.

was mean to me basically. And Sally was like, I'm still going to do it. And now Sally is like, wow, like, you know, you should say no to a date to him because he was just mean to me. Well, but no, she's because she's saying, she's not saying you should say no because he was mean to me. She's saying, you said you didn't even want to date Craig and now you're going to date Craig. But the reason she said she didn't want to date Craig is because you were pressuring her to say she didn't want to date Craig when you knew she liked Craig and you were calling dibs on Craig. Like you saw them flirting at that beach thing. And you were like, you're not flirting with Craig, right? She's like, no, no, no.

I mean, we're just friends. I mean, can I just talk to a guy without being a huge flirt thing? And so she's like, you said you didn't even want him. And you did this whole time. But, you know, again, you're not allowed to just call dibs on everybody in the cast, Sally. I apologize because my excitement was slightly premature because my point makes more sense in about three seconds. Because Charlie says, my point will be a relevant point in three seconds, everyone. Just you wait.

Because Charlie is like, well, if I'm being completely honest, I'm not over here trying to justify anyone's behavior. I just enjoy spending time with him. So when he asked me the low country oyster thing, I said yes, because I generally want to go and I'm excited about it. So Sally goes, okay, well, have fun on your date. And if he's going to write me off like that, then fuck him. And that was the Vanita point right there. Because she's like, he just wrote me off. He just basically said, fuck this girl.

And so like, fuck him. And she goes, Craig is manipulating both of us. And he's been doing it all fucking summer. And I'm finally realizing it. I wish someone had told me before. I wish someone had sat me down and said, you should know that this would happen. And it will take a longer time to realize it,

but you will realize it. So basically, Sally is literally saying all the things that Vanita said to Sally throughout the season. Sally, first Vinita said, hey, this guy was fucking mean to me. Like, you shouldn't go and, like, hang out with him because he was mean to me. And then Sally says, okay, I'm sorry,

then Vinita says, okay, you're going to go hang out with him. But just know, he's going to, he's a fucker, and he's going to fuck with you. And now Sally is literally saying the same things to Charlie. And I was like, you don't even see this, Sally. You don't even see what's going on here. Yeah. I said, I wish he was here right now because I'd seriously slap him across the face

and I will show him a fucking tornado. Good. Bring this season to life, Sally. I believe in you. I really, I was like, I was afraid this episode was descending into Dollsville, but I got very energized by this whole scenario at the end. So I'm back in. You know, and it really did take the guys coming to Girls Night because Austin is so fucking

messy. I love it. Austin's just like one of the girl cast, you know, he's like, okay, this episode's boring and Craig left. Let's go. Let's go fuck with Craig at the other girls' house then at the girls' house. Let's go to the girls' party. So good.

So good. Good times. Everybody. Yeah, this was a fun one. Thanks for being with us, everybody. We will be back tomorrow with some Beverly Hills. some traders and some something else. Oh, some

valley Persian style. It's a big day tomorrow. So come back for that and get tickets over at watchwockrappins.com for the Golden Crappies on February 27th. And we will talk to you next time. Bye. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its

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