Watch What Crappens - #3166 RHOBH S15E05 Part One: Vapid Vortex

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recap!The ladies of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills get more annoyed with Amanda’s bragging on their Sedona trip and then rally to annoy Sutton so her real personality will come out. It’s pretty easy tbh. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Watercrapins. I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. Hi, been. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Welcome to the show, everybody. A very special day because it's Real Housewives of Bovilly Hoos Day. I'm super excited about that. We will be doing the Golden Crappies, the I believe 14th annual Golden Crappies. coming up at the Fonda Theater here in Hollywood. So hope you guys can join us for that to get tickets. Go to watch what crapins.com.

We'll also be building out the ballots and opening voting soon. So check our Instagram for that. You guys nominated a lot of stuff. So we're going to take so much of your input to put them into this show, which is always makes the show good. Okay, it's you. This show is your voice. And working on entertainment and guests

And it's super fun. This is a busy season for us, and it's really good time. So join us for that. Also, if you want bonus episodes, right now we're talking traitors. Today is going to be a big long rant against both Colton and Michael Rapopor. Both douchebags, both on the traders. So let's talk about it. Okay.

We'll be doing that on our bonus feed on Patreon. That's also where you get videos, which we do every day now. So videos, bonuses, and ad free. is now on every level at Patreon. So join us over there for all that good stuff. And now we can get to recap in, okay? Ben, what say you? What did you think of Beverly Hills?

Are you on the train? Are you in Sedona? How are you feeling about the whole thing, then? I mean, sure. Sure. I mean, how many more times can we say it's a dull season so far? So I'm just at this point, I'm getting my jollies where I can get them. So if the producers, you know, put them at a restaurant at the airport in Sedona, I'll take it.

I'll take that as a win. I felt so bad for them at the airport. I mean, that was horrible, the overhead lighting. And then when Amanda lifted up that menu and it was one of those like one page menus that's been like, what do you call it? It's like, no, no, no, it's, I have it. I have one of those machines. It's not shalact. I know.

So you should know what it is. Why can't I think of my skin? You can I take the plastic and you put it in. Yeah, laminated. And it's shiny laminated. Like a laminated diner menu. I was like, oh, least glamorous trip ever. And that's crazy coming from Sutton because she's, you know, one of the money monies.

But as people pointed out, she's Sutton Brown now, so she's cheap. I like when Erica said, yeah, you know, I would rather Sutton Strack do this because she's not tacky. She's not a tacky bitch like Sutton Brown. I'm all right. Erica furious at the overhead lighting was kind of a dream for me. Also, yeah, this, what's her face? Amanda, so I'm trying to figure out where I stand with her, because on the one hand, she's so obnoxious.

She really is awful, and that annoys me. But I do like that she annoys the other women, and I just don't know if her awfulness is something that's, like, awful fun for me, or awful, awful, awful for her. me and I just, I haven't been able to make it my mind just yet. I'm starting to worry that she's just being awful, awful, you know, I'm afraid. I think it's fun watching her torture everybody because everyone really does hate her. And I like seeing the other ladies hold themselves so far above her, like they're so much better because, I mean, Amanda does have a level of tacky to her that the other

ladies don't quite get to. But, you know, you've got Jennifer who's always racking about her brands. You know, Jennifer is kind of tacky with her whole, wow, look at this. This is. Sandy, you know, so you've got her being kind of tacky, but she gets away with it because our personality is so cute and fun and like the tackiness is fun. And then you've got Kyle who's obviously like, Birken, Scali. So they're always bragging, all of them all, and a Dorete, especially the tackiest one of all. But Amanda still makes it gross, you know, she doesn't, she makes it gross. She doesn't understand the rhythm of proper bragging. Like it's one thing, there's a way to brag where you're like, isn't this just fabulous? Oh my God, let me show you my fabulous thing where I love,

I indulged, and I got this thing, and I'm so happy that I got it because I did it for me. Like, that's the vibe you want to put out. But Amanda's is very much just kind of like, I got this, and I have 10,000 more of them at home, you know, and it's just like a little hers is just coming from like a thirstier place, but it does really, really annoy them probably because they do on some level see a reflection of themselves. I mean, Kyle is, I would say of the entire group, Kyle is the closest to Amanda in terms of the lack of cues when it comes to brands. I mean, Kyle is so transparent and she's so transparent about how envious she is, about other people's trinkets and bobbles. So, like, she's very, very close to the Amanda spectrum. But like Jennifer,

I'm Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez, sure, but Jennifer Tilly, like, you know, when she's, when she talks about her brands, it just sort of seems like, she is, she's almost like a curator. She's like a hobbyist and she goes in and she sees these things and she plucks it out and it's part of her collection. It's fabulous and wonderful. Yeah, she's annoying that one, that chick. So let's get into it. This is season 15, episode five, not feeling the healing.

Not feeling the healing. Also, what's funny about this episode, or really this show in general, is how you sort of get the sense that, like, Kyle, Erica and others just think that their exploits in Sedona are just like so fabulous and so entertaining, assuming it's just like all we can talk about Friday morning, not realizing that like every single social media timeline is only talking about the traders this morning, right? Like no one is talking about Beverly Hills. No one, poor valley, poor valley Persian style. I don't think people even know it's around like why did Bravo premiere that show up against

the traders premiere? Like the first few episodes of the traders is when everyone is the most fired up because you've got like the surplus of these episodes. And so everyone's like, blah, blah, blah, Colton, you know,

Michael, blah, blah, and it's like, I just love that, you know, Erica and Kyle and Dereed are like, prancing through the desert with these looks. I just always feel like they think they are breaking the internet.

And it's like, it's so unbroken from them. It's hilarious to me. Well, if the internet could break by falling asleep. Yeah. You know? Yeah, exactly.

Like the internet broke, it fell asleep and crashed into a tree. So, yeah. Whoops. So we open with shots of Sedona, which is gorgeous. You know, it's not Sedona's fault. But also Sedona doesn't add any excitement to it.

It's like, wow, you see the beautiful scenery. And it's like, wow, that's still beautiful. Yeah. But there's no like, you know, shots of amazing fun places that you want to be. So they're not helping. Sorry, Sedona. Get more entertaining. Okay.

And they're at the Little Daisy home of a lot of dead miners, as we remember from last week. And we start in Jennifer's room. And Jennifer, you know, solidifies her place in the audience's heart by opening in bed, eating boxes of donuts and lace chips and thumbs. She's got thumbs with it all too. Yep. And then her assistant comes in. Oh, that's for me, please.

Oh, good bacon. This is wonderful. Thank you. And then we go to Amanda's room. And then she's just like on a Zoom call. just sort of saying empty things about like you know she clearly talking about boss girl yes

boss girl hashtag winning hashtag women only am I right hashtag manifest destinies okay yes boss bitch and then Bose's room she actually says like whenever I don't even believe I think she's one of those people who walks around

pretending to talk on her cell phone to sound important and yeah we've all seen those people some of us have been those people when you're bored in them all and you're like I'm not just bored standing in front of the Apple store I'm talking on the phone but you're not really and um she does that because she says things like yes manifestation oh by the way we have six emails just send those today send emails she's a very busy executive answering those six emails sound super busy don't forget the emails there's six of them then bo's she's just in a room and nico comes in and she's like, oh, I don't want that food right now with this very minute.

He's like, oh, so you want me to, I'll take it back. Then she's like, thank you. And he just sort of stares at her and like, last, like, are you sure? Am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do next. It's a whole plate of food. What am I supposed to tell the guy covered in like black ash outside, you know, standing at the buffet line?

Tell that minor to take his food until I'm ready. So now we go to lobby, 130 p.m. guys. The Sutton, Jennifer, and Kyle are looking, meeting up in country looks. They're wearing boots and straw hats and braids. And is that necessary? Is that required in Sedona to look like a tourist at the Saddle Ranch? Yes. Yes, it is.

And then Jennifer has some, she's in pig tails or ponytails or something like that. And so is like Kyle. I just like, oh, my God, look at us. We are bobbsy twins. And Kyle's like, oh, my God, you're making me jealous. I should have put my boots on. Kyle forever. I put them on because this is my, I'm sorry, what were you saying, Ben?

I didn't mean to overtalk you. I thought you were finished. No, I said nothing really worth repeating. I just said that Kyle always jealous of people. That's it. It was not exciting as exciting as the episode. Well, I put them on. I put my boots on because this might be the only time I'm ever near a vortex.

So I want the vortex to recognize me as a fabulous, fellow, fellow fabulous person. Kyle's like, yes, Kyle was not listening. How can you say this is the closest you've ever been to a vortex when you're standing next to Kyle? She's like literally sucking all of the air out of the... Although, you know what, Kyle's not being as annoying this season, I don't think. I mean, aside from the obvious, like, Derreet, not non-support that she's getting. That's pretty annoying. That's pretty annoying.

But, I mean, in the scale of, you know, Kyle to Kyle, I mean, I think she's just kind of a medium right now. Well, given that she's always in a space of annoying, maybe she's not, like, at the depths of her annoyingness. Maybe she's not fully in the vortex. Maybe she's in the part of the, like, maybe she's started to pull out of the vortex a little bit, but she's still baseline annoying, for sure. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commerce. So now Jennifer is like, well, what is a vortex?

Could it be a portal to another world? Am I going to have revelations? Am I going to vomit and collapse? I don't know what to expect. But thank God I look fabulous. So no matter what, I am prepared. They're really relying. They're really relying on Jennifer this year.

They're just like, just say anything about anything. What do you think about coasters? our coasters even for drinks or our drinks for coasters. Think about it. Listen, if you're on the other end of that vortex and what pops out is Jennifer Tilly, wow, you've really hit the jackpot. Like, how cool. I feel like normally you're just getting like tumbleweeds and an occasional cow.

And then all of a sudden, boom, Jennifer Tilly. Like you, that's, you done some great vortex work then. Yeah, truly. I mean, shit, it would be nice to see Jennifer Tilly, but I'd rather the donut necklace she's wearing, you know, like hand it over. I'm wearing a belt made out of starburst candies and a bolo made out of lace chips. You know all those skeletons and polter guys have been sitting there like, ugh, we got another little blonde girl.

Can we try again? I hear there's a Jennifer Chilly out there. Kyle's like, oh my God, like, what if we get sucked in the vortex? Oh, Kyle, they'd spit you back out and ask for Paris. Are you kidding? I know. Kyle just so excited. She's like, should I tell the vortex

I was in ER once? Do you think that will? She is actively looking for the vortex. Do you think that the vortex knows that Alicia Silverstone played my mother in a show that I wrote about her? Should I tell the vortex

about Jimmy Lee Curtis and how I know her? She won an Oscar now. So Sudden is like, well, a vortex is a center of energy in the earth and there's different hubs all around the earth.

And Sedona, is known to be one of the energy hubs. And the other is kind of wherever my mother is at any given time, just sort of sucking my energy out. You know someone who really loves it? This is why I don't trust it,ona. Someone who really, really loves it. I could be wrong on this, but I think in my memory is correct.

And I rely on my faulty memory. Christ? I don't know that Christ ever made it. No, no, no. No, no, Christ. I don't think Christ made it. I can't hear what you're saying. It's Vaseline. How dare you?

Oh, sorry. No, I'm saying that I'm relying on my faulty memory, even though I know it's probably wrong. But I think Shirley McLean is a big Sedona head. And, you know, like her like out on a limb and we've got multiple lives. And, you know, she had that period where she's all hippie-dippy and stuff. But like, there's a reason that Shirley Maclean always plays the grumpiest lady on earth in every movie that she's in. And I think it's because Zodona doesn't work. Just going to say it.

Only, it's like a sugar pill. You know, that grumpy people are like, I'm going to go to Sedona. And then they get there and they're like, I heard there's a vortex. But at the end of the day, they're like, it's dry, it's hot. There's nowhere to eat other than the airport. Fuck this place. And then they go back to being in steel magnolias. Do you think Sedona and Santa Fe have like a west side story thing going on, like sharks versus jets?

Like who can be the most like hippie desert place? I would love to see that. Just a bunch of old Lily Tomlin types wearing turquoise being like, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-ha. It's like the street fight, but the weapons are rock deodorant. The weapons are poet, like just writing poems.

No, the weapons are basically telling people about a good gallery down the street. You know, there's actually a very good gallery. The woman down there, she does great work. She has amazing things with the local turquoise. You really should check out her stuff. It's wonderful. Well, guess what?

The gallery down there has amazing work. She's a pottery person, but she also glazes her pottery with the dye of local fruits. Oh, really? Will I raise your local fruits with we make our pottery with the spirits of dead miners? Dun, dun, dun, dun. We make dream catchers out of local reeds. Just just locals giving advice on where to go in a battle, battle way. So we see a picture of a mountain and then a red arrow pointing to one of the vortex hubs.

Just point to Erica. That's the vortex. I know. We all know. So we go back to the lobby. Pat the vortex. Amanda comes down. It's like, oh, hey guys, I've got sunscreen.

in my Chanel backpack. Yeah, it's a Chanel backpack. Thanks for being very specific on its location. In case you were worried, that was my Louis Vuitton backpack, don't worry, that's on screens in my Chanel backpack. The sudden just rolls her eyes like, that is just so techie, techie. And she tells us, you know, if you're going to do Chanel,

Chanel Coture is just so good. But backpack, eh, just, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. So Rachel

Congratulations You've got the cheapest thing in the store So then Rachel sees Jennifer's bag And she's like Oh my God I have that bag I die I die I take that bag And I was like Caius

I'm holding your moisturizer in my bag Okay Moistrar's your face And then put it back on my bag Because I think Jennifer has the same bag I wonder if she has the same moisturizer Oh my God I die I die

Well every time I go to Santa Taye I buy a fringe bag they're big with friends here and she's like yeah well mine is vintage St. Laurent and I thought that's what hers was so yeah like just proof that we are as tacky as

Amanda but we're more fun about it I like the juxtaposition of everyone being disgusted with Amanda to the ladies also bragging about their stuff but it's not a heck well I think it is totally the exact same thing like she's bragging about she has a vintage Saint Laurent

And she's also not quite one-upping, but being like, I belong here too. But I think the difference is that it's just all in the tone. It's just all in the tone. Like, there's no reason to bring up the Chanel backpack when you're talking about your sunscreen. The fact that she wedged it in there, that's where it goes wrong. Whereas Rachel, it's like, oh, I'd like to talk to you about your bag. I have a similar bag.

I'm going to bond with you over that. Whereas Amanda has no outreach in her bragging. Her outreach is just like, I have sunscreen. And if you're looking for it, it's my very expensive, non-useful backpack that I really should swap out with a patagonia thing from REI. Yeah. And like one backpack is bought by like styling celebrities, you know? And then the other, the other bag is bought because Simpsons money, you know. And then Amanda stuff is like, yeah, I trick some housewife in the Midwest into giving me her husband's life savings, you know, to tell her to like rub a crystal ball and, you know,

say manifest a lot of times. Suckers! Yeah, exactly. That's exactly right. So you just picture all the broken down women who have been kind of screwed over and not manifested properly, like boxes of old Lula Roe behind them unsold. No? Like an oil burners and shit.

So then, and actually to Erica's credit, Kathy then asks Erica, who makes those pants? She goes, oh, a pat of going, I think. They're sunpants. They got the sunscreen in them. So that's great because she's both, like, one-uping Amanda by being like, sunscreen. I don't need that. That's in my pants already. I've got sunscreen in my pants.

But also, like, it's that kind of. Sunscreen's also a DJ at Belmont, Esau. That's my nickname for Shrek, which is a nickname for the old guy. I'm banging. But also I think, like, that isn't that a little bit of, like, quiet luxury, the fact that she's, like, wearing paddock, well, actually, quiet luxury would be if she's wearing, like, a very, like, high-end pant. But I think it's, like, kind of cool that Erica's wearing Patagonia pants. Like, because that's, like, that's what you should be wearing on this. I don't know, I'm, like, really defensive about Patagonia.

You're really going to go. You're really going to stump for Erica today. You're like, you know what? Like, Erica's wearing Patagonia pants, and that is what you're supposed to do. because I was walking outside in the negative 600 degree weather here in New York City and it was so cold and I had my Patagonia jacket on and I was so warm and I felt so taken care of and I was like I love Patagonia. That's why because you're in Patagonia too about Patagonia and then I'm not we're not even sponsored by Patagonia everyone. Don't worry. This is not some ad but like but I was like feeling really good about Patagonia. So then when I just saw right now I remembered that Eric actually was wearing Patagonia pants. I was like, you know what?

I always knew I liked Erica. She's been a great house. Why, probably top 10. New fan, new fan alert. Oh, by the way, last week after the show, after we recorded the show, I was like, God, you know, I feel weird bringing up stuff about Shrek because I haven't really researched it that well, but I think he's kind of an asshole. So I researched Erica's boyfriend.

And there's a lot of articles about stolen valor and how he's apparently like told all these lies about stuff that he's done in the military or exaggerated stuff. And we were kind of laughing about that. But then after I got off the phone with you, I was laughing because I was like, is it Erica's stolen valor season? Because Erica's pretending that she's always been a DJ too. And that's kind of like stolen DJ Valor where she's like, I'm going back to my roots.

I'm going to DJ again. Erica's back to DJing. We're like, we've been watching this show for like a decade and a half and you're not a DJ and you've never been a DJ. Why are you pretending that you were a D-D? So do you think Erica has stolen valor? Tell me, stolen, DJ Valor. I think they all have stolen valor.

Otherwise, they wouldn't be on this show, except for Jennifer Chilly. She's just having fun, right? If they had real valor, they'd be doing something more, you know, exciting with their lives. Carl has stolen house valor. Kyle has so many stolen valor. Kyle, I mean, how many things have we, Kyle has stolen LVP Valor. Can't spell LVP without V in the middle. Lisa Valor de Pump.

Yeah, I don't, I think like that's very much what this show actually, believe in it. I'm joking, but I think there is something about that. This is very much a show about people sizing each other up and envying what they have and sort of duking it out in the lobbies of various hotels as they show off their latest look and try to be the Supreme. And I think that all comes back to stolen valor on some level, right? Yeah, I like it. It's a working theory. I'll go with it. It's a good like off the cuff theory.

It's a good beginning of the season working theory. So we'll see how it pans out. So Rachel is like, going hiking is not an option for me right now. I don't even have shoes to hike. Like, what is this? This is the hiking caftown I'm in. Like, come on. Stop.

Like I can. Apparently being interesting is also not an option for her. I just like to add. So the producer is like, but would you ever be caught dead in tennis shoes? She's like, um, I'd wear tennis shoes to play tennis, but like even then, the last time I played tennis, I was a lupiton watches. You know, the fashion seasons of Beverly Hills are really the worst. I'm just, you know, it's just when they don't have anything, they just rely on these fashion quips and moments.

And honestly, I just, does anyone really care? I do not care unless it's Patagonia, apparently, but I do not care. You know, normally I would agree with you. I don't mind with Rachel because that's, like, her thing. thing and I think her reads are pretty funny. Like when she kind of reads everybody on the plane for their fashion and stuff like that. Like I find her amusing. But I also find it amusing when someone's like, yeah, fashion's my thing.

And they're dressed like they're going to get a haircut in heaven. You know, like they're. At the plane Jesus at the Hollywood Bowl. No, I do like, I'm with you. I like her fashion reads when she actually musters the energy to do them. But like me here, listen to her, be like, Last time I played tennis, I was in Loup-Beton wedges. I'm like, oh, okay, great.

So then I give it and I take it the way. I sit here and I applaud Erica for being humble enough to wear Patagonia pants in the moment that Rachel Zoh made a- No kidding. God, you're really. My window of generosity is closed. Yeah, you're really coming for Rachel. You're like, you know what?

Call me when you get a Patagonia, you know, Calfton. You know what? I'm more coming. I'm coming not for Rachel. I'm coming for the concept of Rachel. because I do think that sometimes this show does rest on its laurels for thinking it's more fabulous than it is. And I think that's what the core of it is, is that sometimes this show teeters into complacency where they say, we're so wealthy, we're wearing such fabulous outfits, we associate with such fabulous brands that we don't really have to do much because you're going to be so impressed.

That's how I feel when I watch the show sometimes. And when I see other shows working so much harder and doing so much better, I just am like, it's just not enough for me to hear like a quip about your lupitons, you know, put some sunscreen into your pants and get to work. Yeah. You know, get some SPF on your couch and then we'll be there for you, Ms. Zoe. Yeah, no, it's more, that's more of a message to the producers, I think. It's actually, when I say the concept of Rachel Zoe is that the producers were like, oh, my God,

she's fabulous she's you know she's so fashionable it's going to be great it's like actually i need something more than that she's fashionable and that we know who she is i need someone who is going to bring this show alive because they do have the raw talent but when the raw talent when the when the like we need this tank needs more than 50 in the in the 50% in the tank bill my tank get a job so we go back to the lobby and sudden's like we are going to go hacking And then we're going to come back later and we're going to make dinner. And if we're not here later, we're inside the vortex. The floor takes, what is it?

And Amanda's like, vortex. Okay, we'll be in the vortex. And then we'll meet back up tonight. Chanel. Chanel backpack. Okay, bye. So outside the little Daisy, we meet the tour guide, Sean and Chris. And they've got pink jeeps labeled Pink Jeep tours.

And, you know, at home, LVP is like, oh, really? So we're driving around in the Sir car now. Oh, poor Kyle. Poor, needy, needy little Kyle. Kyle is going to show up with a Sedona Pink Jeep soon in her Encino home. Like what? I just really like it. And I actually ordered it beforehand.

And like, I really need a car for Bambi. So Jennifer... I can shop anywhere. I can shop anywhere even on a tour through the vortex. Can I buy this? I love shopping. I love... Can this be made into a hat?

Because I love hats. I just want to. to remind everyone that storylines coming back. Kyle, how come Stormy hasn't been seen on camera? Oh, I brought the vortex to the backyard. I haven't found Stormy yet, but really liked it. I can shop anywhere.

The dogs were like, we knew. We knew if we waited long enough, we wouldn't have to escape the house. We would just be escaped into the house. We've been eaten by the vortex house. Jennifer is like, oh my God, I've never been in such a fabulous Jeep. Like, this is so Beverly Hills. a pink chip.

I mean, wait, wait, take us to the vortex. I brought my crystal so I can charge it. Now, we start seeing in this episode, Jennifer possibly becoming the most annoying housewife to the other ladies. And I think Jennifer should be thankful that Amanda's on this season because Jennifer, I think, would be on everyone's radar as someone to shut the fuck up. Right. After watching this episode.

Because, wow, she never stops. She's just like, they go to the things like, Look at that. Is that a rock? Is that a magical rock or just a regular rock? Did the Sedona rocks taste anything like donuts? It doesn't. You'll chip a tooth.

Watch out for the rocks. Don't eat the rocks. Note to self. Just talking yapping, yop and yop and yapping. But you know what's funny to me? The reason why she probably annoys people is not just because she talks so much. But I get the sense that Jennifer's actually witty, or at least she aspires to be witty. You know, and like that's that's a concept that has never been present on Real Housewives.

Oh, Lisa Vanderpump has, in her prime, could be witty. But like, I think Jennifer is like trying to be witty. And I think Jennifer also is pretty worldly. I think she's, she's interested in art. She's interested in the world at large, hence worldly. And that's like something that Kyle is just is not. And I think that that's just coming for Kyle every, every scene. We're not even taught Carl's not even close to here.

She is. There's a vortex. It connects them back to the Little Daisy. You are. Are you about to defend Kyle Richards? Is that one back to your rom? No, just you really got Kyle in your trunk today. You're like, hey, pull over to the side of the road.

Open the truck. Kyle. You still over there. You got, Kyle. We're going over a speed bump now, Kyle. Boom, boom. Maybe Kyle Richards should talk less about cowboy hats. And more about Patagonia windbreakers.

I'm in that mood. You know what? Honestly, I'm not going to lie. Don't apologize. I am so fired. I'm not, I probably will apologize because it's me. But I'm so fired up about the traders that I'm just projecting so much emotion into this recap right now. I am not even joking.

I spent 90 minutes last night on Twitter and threads. I spent like two hours this morning also on it being like, that's what I said. That's why I said, I agree. I agree completely. I can't wait to talk about it. So I'm just like pouring it all into. Like right now, in my mind, talking about everything's merging, talking about a vortex, as we're recapping this, I'm like, well, you guys all saw the traitors last night.

Kyle Richards came on there. She bragged about her clothes, then acted like she was cool for wearing a hat. And then she wound up not even getting voted off. Like that's the narrative of my head right now. Oh, so back in the lobby, Derrick greets Bose and Rachel, because they're like another crew. They're the shopping crew. And to read, it's like, congratulations. On what?

On Rachel getting her luggage. That's a very big deal. And they're like, okay. So let's go shopping. So Kathy's also with them. And Kathy's like, wait a minute. Everything's really far from here, right? I mean, are they even going to be open?

Do we have to go? Rachel's like, Kathy, yeah, it's far away. Like, we're on top of a mountain. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm wealthy. So I'm going to stay back. I'm tired. So she leaves.

And then the pink jeeps are going through headed to the vortex. And Jennifer's like, and suddenly sitting there like, God damn it, why did I bring this woman onto my TV show? She's ruining everything. Control yourself, Jennifer. We're trying to have a relaxing, meditative ride to the vortex.

Boartex rhymes with horatux. Horstim tech. Those are working girls with two jobs. Hortex. I like that one. personally. Do you know any store around here

that sells Skittles? They're my caviar. It's like, shut up. Then, meanwhile, the ladies, the other ladies are in a car and they're heading into town. We see a sign that says entering Jerome,

which is the same name. I was going to say the same name as probably Mikey Mindin's biography at some point. Barondles. So both like, well, I'm going to say, Glad it's just the three of us.

I really love you all. You know, Nico's like, I'm here too. I'm just sitting underneath you because I can't breathe. They wouldn't take back this breakfast plate. So whenever you're ready. The crisp eggs are soggy. I won't eat them. So that was an insight into my child.

At the time, I would not eat the bowl of crispex because they got too soggy. And my mom put them in a little plastic container. My mom, yeah, well, my mom put them in a little plastic container. Because the thing is, I think I've told the story before. I saw an ad for Chris Spex in like Time magazine and it was like the most beautiful cereal at ever sitting in this beautiful like hexagon with like lattice work and everything. I was like, I must have it. And I like begged my mom to get Krispex.

My mom poured me a bowl of Krispex and, you know, put the milk in it and I ate it so slowly that like halfway through it got so soggy so I didn't want to eat it anymore. And my mom's like, you're going to eat that. You just made me, you have been hounding me for Krispex all this time. You're going to eat it. I was like, but it's soggy mom. And my mom took the bowl. and she poured it into like a little Tupperware thing.

She made me carry it around the entire day as we did like my mom had to go to the bank and everything and I sat there in the car with it and I refused to eat it. And I will always remember this traumatic, soggy Krispex bowl. And then I finally got home and my brother was like Ben and he just poured more Krispex into it, which like was more crispy Krispex and I came back to life and I finished my bowl of Krispex. So thanks to my brother for saving the day.

That was a rough time. Yeah, it was a rough time. And you know who stands for soggy crispex? Kyle, probably. Oh, the chief, soggy crispex. She is a soggy crispex. But also, I've got to say, I love that my mom did that to me.

I love that my mom was like, no, you're carrying around this crispax all throughout Coton in New York, whether you like it or not. You're going to take this crispax and you're going to eat it. I bought this Chris Vicks. Yes. You're going to love the crisp eggs. Fucking Kyle Richards, though.

right? Commercials. Here comes one right now. Now we go to Kyle. She really is in respects. So, Rachel is like,

yeah, Kathy, so Kathy's not with us. She needed like a beat. She's just like my mother. She stays up to like the most ungodly hours. And I could hear her footsteps at 4 a.m.

So she needs to like sit with her fan and like take a rest. That was Rachel's way of saying that fucking bitch woke me up at 4 a.m. pounding her feet into the floor right over my head and I couldn't get an ounce of sleep, bitch. Yeah. And we see Kathy in her room just scrolling on her phone like, that is hilarious.

She's brought her own pillows from home. She's got her white noise machine. I mean, that woman knows how to vacation. She really does. She's having a great time. So back in Jerome, Rachel is like, oh my God, this is a Sedona store. Oh, my God. This is like exactly what I wanted.

Hi, can I see your Sedona stuff? This is amazing. And they all start looking at kaleidoscopes. Their brains are broken by the kaleidoscopes. They've never seen more silent housewives than you have seen these three. Look, they've never seen a kaleidoscope before. I thought it was really funny. And then someone goes, I think it was Bose.

Yeah, Bose goes, so do the kaleidoscopes repeat patterns? And they're like, yeah. I felt like they should have been playing the Edward Scissorhands music while they looked at them. They were so in awe. It was like, They were very fancy kaleidoscopes. It was like the kaleidoscope workshop. Like we saw all the ladies back there with like their metal working machines and their, you know, diamond glasses that they're wearing.

Like they're checking out diamonds. Like, oh, just getting this kaleidoscope perfect. They're all Lisa Vanderpump back there. Like just working on a world of magic and illuminate. imagination. Rachel's like, oh my God, everything. Everything here is art. Everything is art.

Oh, my God. Wonder Woman. It's Wonder Woman. She looks at her own jewelry through the kaleidoscope. She's like, oh, my God, my bracelets. To die. To die. Just died looking at my own bracelet. I died.

I just died. I just, oh, my God. It's like 12 of them. Oh, my God. I can't wait to tell Jen Garner. Oh, my God. I die. Oh, Wonder Woman.

What's my favorite? I love Wonder Woman. Me too. I dressed up like her all the time. I'd like put on gold bracelets. I've been wearing them ever since. It's like if Wonder Woman just wore like a kaff tan every once in a while. I just wanted to meet Linda Carter. So I could say like, loosen up.

You know what I mean? You know, when Rachel Zoh made that joke, it made me wonder, if a zo makes a joke in the forest and there's no gay there to laugh, did she ever make a joke at all? Because I felt like that was like the sort of joke where normally when she's with her gay, it's like, oh my God, I die, Rachel. Oh my God. I just been wearing the Bengals ever since.

But, like, here in the store, it's just like, I've been wearing them ever since. I don't get it. Because I wear it or bangles. You, you, but they're a band. How do you wear a band on your hands? Walk like an Egyptian. No, no, it's the type of braceletry. Still don't understand.

Anyway, looking at other things, thank you. Talk about Manic Monday, am I right? Eternal Flame. That's what P.K. always asked for when we make smalls. So, Doreet is, Doreet has found a globe. She found some sort of, and by way,

there's like lots of fun stuff in there, but this is by and large a tourist trap shop, right? Like, it's just like, you know, southwestern trinkets and, you know,

turquoise. It's like a weird magic shop or something, because she gets a globe, but it's like a globe that's inside a ball. And so when you move your hand, it looks like you're moving. It's like a labyrinth, you know,

it's like a David Bowie thing, where it looks like you're doing all this magic stuff with the ball. It's like, oh, look at this. I've got, wound in me hans. The babe has the power. What's power?

What power? Like literally like what power. Power of who do? Vidu. Who do? You do? Who? I'm sorry.

That was my... I'm cracked out. I've got no other... French sit and a opera in there. No, that was... That was Rachel Zoh and Durit singing the song from Labyrinth. And I did it as a one-man rendition, and it was horrifying. I apologize.

I apologize. I don't, I guess it's really hard. Once you tell a good Krispick story, it's really hard to follow up. So by the way, Doreet pays $482.24 for that fucking globe. Doreet, hi, this is Ronnie. I know we're not friends, but I do like you. And I just wanted to inform you. You're broke.

You're broke. Okay. Stop it. Yes, but she has a properly oriented. lobe at all times. So she may be broke, but at least she always is the world right side up. So Rachel's like, they leave the store and she's like, I'm dead. No, like literally I died. A kaleidoscope fell on my head. I died and right now you're just seeing an angel version of me, which is good because I'm dressed like a little angel, like, but I literally am like a dead soul.

I'm going to haunt you, but I'm going to haunt you in lupitans. It's going to be so chic. I'll probably be like haunting you like while I'm playing tennis and like loop aton wedges. So if you're seeing eight of me, that means you're probably looking at me through your kaleoscope, but I'm still dead. Okay, let's go to another store because there's like Sony store there. Like, I just want to see more Sedona stores. Like, I need it. Like, there's so many, it's like a kafftown heavy town. Like, I'm into it.

Do I live here? Do I live here now? Like, did I just move here? My citizen of Sedona? Fucking caftowns, I love it here. And Bose is like, yeah, actually, I'd like some wine. I saw a winery. She's like, yeah.

Okay, wow. I clocked a crystal shop. you clocked a vineyard priorities. Wow. That's wild. This is so deep. I'm so crazy right now. I'm like so the way the way that I like clocked at the crystal shop and the way you did that like the way I can admit that I'm like so vulnerable. This is like maybe the most vulnerable I've ever been. Like I'm dead. I'm dead of vulnerability. So the other ladies at the airport Mesa Vortex Trail, the temperature is 102 degrees, which is crazy. What kind of trip is this? How did how does this sudden?

trip. This seems like an Erica trip. You know, like, all right, here we are. We're to park. Just go walk around. I don't give a fuck. Do whatever you want to. What do I care? Just drop them off on the side of the road. Let's do it. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City style. Just pull over on the side of the road. Let's just talk. Let's have some sandwiches. But this is Sutton.

Come on, Seton. 102 degrees climbing up a hill. How did none of them break a sweat? Well, Jennifer sort of broke a sweat. But, like, how did none of them break a sweat? I think like they're lying. I think it was 72 degrees. I'm gonna say that. Jennifer had a full, I'm surprised Jennifer even made it up that hell.

You just see her like on her hands and knees just like, it was madness. I was expecting her to be captured and brought to Tina Turner. Like this was an end of the world, like post-apocalyptic shit that was going on over there. So, so they get there and Sean is basically saying, as they're hiking,

he's saying that, oh, wow, like some, In the 60s and the 70s, some psychics and gurus said that there's like some electromagnetic energy here, blah, blah, blah, vortex, you know. Jennifer's like, I'm feeling they're really good energy. Charmed, charmed, I'm sure, charmed. Just talking the entire time. Look at all the houses down below. I notice there aren't a lot of swimming pools here in Sedona. That's sad.

They are difficult to clean, though. Probably with so much dust, it would be terrible, terrible. But who lives without a swimming pool? Is that a bumblebee? Hello, bumblebee. I've always been friends with bumblebees. I used to know the girl. My sister was up for the commercial of the tuna,

which had nothing to do with the bees at all, and it was a fish. Tuna is a fish, I told her. Please shut up. Amher. Amanda's like, my Chanel backpack would like to ask, is she always this talkative? And Erica's like, yeah, this is why she's an Oscar nominated actress. Because she talks a lot?

Wait, how does that make sense? She goes, yeah. You know, not to be rude. I know she's a millennial and everything, but does somebody even know who Jennifer Tillis is? I mean, I hate to be rude, too, but did any of you people know who she was before she showed up on the show? because I feel like none of them really did know who she was either. Okay, the real ones are the ones who know. So then they're hiking and Kyle's like, oh my God, I cannot imagine Kathy doing this.

Oh my God. Like, she is so funny. Should we like rag on my sister a little bit? You know, it's cool, right? Like, yeah, well, that's why she's not here, Kyle. And we see Kyle, I mean, Kathy's still on her bed. And now she's just, she's looking at videos of them from earlier of like Jennifer with donuts. And she's like, oh, ho, ho.

watching Jennifer in her bed with donuts. And she's like, oh, that Jennifer is something else. So we got back and Jennifer's like, oh, I was never as young as I used to be. Because someone says, I'm not as young as I used to be. She's like, I was never as young as I used to be. That was worth every hard step. Isn't this a great vacation, everybody? Die, Sutton, die, Sutton.

And then we see the shot. You know, they showed this in the beginning of the trailer of Jennifer laboring up the side of this mountain. And I always assumed, on the trailer, they made it seem like, oh, my God, Jennifer is crawling up a mountain and she's about to die. And I always assumed, okay, when we actually get to the scene, the context of hers is going to be like, girls, let me show you how I do my scenes. If when I'm, like, climbing up a mountain, I had to do this one on Brider Checky. And she was going to do, like, a whole thing and be a comedy bit. But when we actually got here, no, she actually was climbing up a mountain and about to die.

It was an authentic moment from the trailer. We're getting sucked into the vortex. Why would you do this to me? America's like, was this wind part of the deal? Get rid of this fucking wind. Fuck this place. Fuck this trip. This wind everywhere.

Erica's like, wait, guys, next time let's do drugs. I'd rather do mushrooms and feel something. Let's do that. It's the same shit. I'm like, oh, sorry that you were taken to the mountaintop of, like gorgeous gorgeous views and scenery. I know it's hot, but like, hello, this is also kind of like a pretty kick-ass view.

No, I mean, it's gross to me. Like, taking me on a luxe trip to exercise in 102 degree heat, Sutton needs to be put to death for this. This was horrible. Also, do they have a thing with Coke? Because they're always drinking Coke now on the show. Did you notice? And you know, these ladies will not touch Coke with a 10-foot pole.

I just don't believe it. Like in the first scene of the season, when Doree doesn't have a family in the house. So she's like, oh, I think I'll talk to this Coca-Cola bottle. It says, friend on it. Friend. Hello. I know, drinking sugar, sugar-imbued coke.

Well, there was a big, you know, on the traders last week, there was a big Coke and Diet Coke moment, at least around. So maybe maybe I'm saying. Yeah, I'm wondering if it's like a hidden thing that they just now they drink Coke because Erica slurps from her Coke can and I just don't buy it. Yeah, although she is from Georgia. So maybe she's having some state pride. So Sean is, that's Coca-Cola headquarters.

Yes. Ron and I know because we once walked outside of the Coca-Cola experience in Atlanta, and we did not go in. So Sean is basically telling them, like, go sit by yourself and think about things. So they all sit by themselves and have, like, I think no introspection. I think they just go and sit alone. And then they're like, okay, well, that was fun. Yeah, he's like, you want to meditate and like, no, but we'll talk shit about each other.

Mind your own business, Pink Van. So, Jennifer. Oh, go ahead. Oh, no. No, you go, you go, Jennifer. No, I don't care. I'm just going through it. What were you going to say?

Kyle, they all gather back together. Sorry. And Kyle is like, oh, my God, this is like such a special place. And you think that she's going to maybe say something introspective or deep or thoughtful. And she's like, I just wish the other girls would have come. Like, by the way, I didn't even tell you, Dariq got, like, upset of me. Like, she said, like, when I was at her house. I was like, fuck PK.

And I really got the sense that she's like angry at her situation and was taking it out on me. I was like, okay, Kyle, I'm glad you came all the way to the vortex just to talk shit about someone. Yeah. I got the sense that she's angry at her situation and was taking it out on me. No, she was angry at you for not taking her situation seriously. Okay. I know that's a very difficult thing for you to understand, but she wasn't irrationally upset with you. You were an asshole and then she was upset with you.

I hope, unfortunately, Erica is not the kind of person who will ever explain that to you because she's got her head up your ass to keep herself safe. So Erica just goes, sure. Jake, yeah, so I kind of took a breath and I said, I'm here for you. I support you. P.K. probably didn't do anything wrong. I love you. Well, I think she's just overwhelmed. She's like someone walking up a mountain without sunscreen in their pants. I mean, embedded in the fabric.

Especially since you guys are just like now getting back to being close. I don't know, Kyle. And she's like, yeah, right. But, like, and I told her, like, I don't want to do this with you. Like, I don't want to have to take your side with you. I'm, like, totally team PK. And she's, like, still mad at me for it. Yeah.

You know what? I just leave the whole P.K. thing alone. Just don't even talk about it. Don't talk about it. Your friend's going through something. Just stay quiet. Let him go through it over there. Just pretend you're listening.

Just think about all the DJ trips that you've done in your past. Just relishing that. Just let it go. Listen, one thing I know. about true friendship is it's not a thing just to just ignore your friend paying kyle until it goes away so kyle goes well it's like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't i'm like no actually it's you're not in a catch-22 here when you show up and your friend is is going through divorce and the husband's being a dick and she's telling you that she's going through something you just

say what a fucking asshole like that's literally all you have to do it's the easiest task You let her talk, eat some M&Ms, and then you go home. Yeah, just say, I never liked that vainy, pasty fucker in the first place. Why do you like him? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. So it's like he's a physical embodiment of diabetes.

Why were you ever with that man? That's what you say. Like, why do I have to teach you? I mean, I'll feed you lines all day if you need them. Yeah. Give me a call, you know? Who spilled flour all over the counter, then poured water over it and then married it. You did.

You did that. Why did you do that? He is the flour that gets in the sink after you bake, and then you just wash it away, and it just firms up and gets it becomes annoying. Yes. So back at the wine bar, Doreet's like, well, Kyle came over, and I shared with her that I don't always feel the most supported by her. Little jabs from Carl, little jabs, jab, jab, jabs. Well, what I'm seeing and I'm feeling is that Kyle has a tongue that touches each corner of her mouth every five seconds. Also, it seems like she's having a hard time because you're not letting her in.

You know what I mean? Bring down the walls. Bring down the walls. Well, there was a moment at Tillies, and I'm hypersensitive because I've heard so much. But there was this moment at Tillies... Wait a second. Why were you at a store for teenager boys? No, Jennifer Tillies, not the store Tilly's. But I was there. I did go to Tilly's and I lost $30,000. It was crazy. But there's a moment where she said, we don't know if he did or if he did. didn't and we just don't know.

Oh yeah, I saw that. Well, I think like in these kinds of situations, like, no matter who's right or wrong, you just like want your girls to have your back, right? You know, like, you just want to be like, you know, fuck that guy. Like, were you, like, married to a literal potato?

Did the potato moisturize? Because, like, Kaias, moisturizes, like, so much at camp. And if the potato can't even moisturize as much as Kaias, like, why even have the potato in the first place? It's like putting on pants. for P.K. like mashed potatoes trying to reform themselves into a regular potato again. You can't put the potato back in the skin. That's all I'm saying. What are we talking about? Why are we talking about potatoes? I feel fat. I just got heart disease and died. I'm dead.

Potato skins are so in for 2026, by the way. Like, I cannot. I die. I die. I bury me in potato skins. Just wrap me up in potato skins and put me in a larger potato and then put me in the earth and then watch me grow back as a new potato. Oh my God. I love it. I die. Yeah. Sometimes it's not what you say. It's how you say it. And at that moment, you were like breaking down. So it probably hurt extra for her to say that. I mean, she said that like wearing pants. Like, who even does that? Could you imagine if you've been looking at Kyle through your kaleidoscope when that happened? It would have hurt eight times more. I die.

She would have been looking, she would have been licking the corners of her mouth 16 different ways. That would have been horrible. collidoscopes are evil. That's the point of this conversation. So we come back to Kyle. And Kyle's like, well, you know, I talked to Mo and, you know, he says that what P.K. is saying is completely the opposite of what she's saying. Well, yeah, when is P.K. even around? I'm not going to listen.

Listen, I know Doreet's not perfect, but you don't listen to some man who just like leaves his family, his second one, by the way. And then up and leaves for like four to six weeks at a time and doesn't see his children. That's not the one that you listen to. Yeah. About shit like this. Like, he's making no effort. Not only that, you're basically, like, you're mad that Dorita's mad at you, and you're mad that you're being viewed as the bad guy.

And instead of being like, oh, that was shitty of me, she's now going around trying to poison the waters against Dorit in the group by co-opting this spiritual new age moment on top of a mountain in a vortex. So she's really talking to two dimensions at once, I'd like to point out. So she's really amplifying her message. and she's basically saying, yeah, Doreet's a little cray-cray, because I talked to a man,

and he says that she's been acting crazy and preventing him from seeing the kids, and it's not all the truth. I mean, Kyle, Kyle likes to say that she's a girl's girl, but this is not being a girl's girl right now. She's talking shit about Doreet and her divorce to the other women and hoping,

and what is she trying to achieve by this? Like, what is Kyle trying to achieve by telling the women that, I spoke to Mauricio and Maricio says that P.K. has a different story and that Doreet's being very difficult. What are you trying to achieve by doing that? She's coming on. It's like she's not only talking behind Doreet's back about it, which I guess is normal on these shows, but she's getting PK's side out there for him when he's not on the show. And that's just really despicable. In hopes of what? In hopes of what? To convince the other women to agree with her and to agree with Pekay, to make the other women think that Doret is being hysterical.

Derreet is being irrational and unreasonable. That's ultimately what this is, the aim of this is to isolate Derreet, if you ask me. And Kyle would probably say, no, it's to show that I'm not being, like, it's not that I'm being anti-Durit. It's just like there's more to the story and I'm just being open and honest. So she's going to wax that. She's going to spin it like she's being like, I'm the open and honest person here. I'm about finding, I'm about finding the truth in this situation.

but it's really more, I think, to make the girls turn on Doreet. Well, yeah, because Kyle's still mad that Doreet had the nerve to stick up to her last year for the first time. And so now she's going to spend the rest of her time ruining Doreet. That's what Kyle does, you know, and she'll go for Dorete until she gets Doreet off the show. And then they'll move on to the next one. It's a cycle with Kyle. She's been on this show long enough that we see her inner clock. And it's, it's, it's ticking.

And the fact that she made up those lies about Portia and Tiffany. I'm just so mad at Kyle Richards right now. I'm so mad. Sorry, I'm getting my wires crossed again. You're back to the traders. So we go back to the mountain and Erica's like, well, exactly what was happening is what I thought was going to happen, which I don't want to happen.

You're getting dragged into this, Kyle. You know, you're getting dragged into all this drama over the divorce. She's dragging herself in. No one is making her go take PKK side for no reason and fight Dorit and turn the whole cast against Doritos. Rick, Carl is doing that. Yes, she is.

And Erica has good advice here. She's like, if I were Kyle, I'd just block it all out, like people do with my music. Just try to be there in the moment, okay? Like people don't do for my shows, because you can't be all the things to all the people. Like less said, best said. I don't want to know, and I'd ask Maricio not to tell me anything. And she's honestly exactly, she's 100% right on this. Don't, like, just focus on being a friend to your friend.

and don't try to get the other side from Mauricio. Don't put yourself in that position. Just try to be like, just try to be the good girlfriend you always claim you are. You know what they say? A friend to everyone is a friend of no one, which is why I'm a friend of no one. Quick sage advice from Erica. And she's like, well, obviously it's going to be like he said, she said, you know, and back at the wine bar, Bose is like, well, your relationship is damaged to read from a trust.

standpoint and you're trying to work your way back to a place where she is understanding and wholly supportive of you. Well, it goes back to actions and words. Don't tell me, I support you entirely because I believe it. So then if I don't see it, I'm like, but I believed it. But I don't see it. But where is it? I thought it was here. It's not there. I don't understand. All right, please, you're going on to 37 accents. Just calm down and have some wine. Bib, babe, there's like Tuss every day in friendships. Like so many tests, like specifically eight tests because you take one

test and you look at it through a kaleidoscope. And you're like, oh my God, there's actually eight tests here. And that's a test in an dump itself. It's like a lot. I die. So back at the ranch, Kathy is slicing vegetables in the kitchen. And Erica comes in and she's like, What the hell are you doing? Disgusting. What are those vegetables? Is there not a

taco bell near here? She's like, I'm starting my pasta primavera. I'm Italian. Yes, I learned this recipe when I went to Italy and found out that I was Chinese. Sadly, I don't know any Chinese recipes from my childhood. So Erica's like, okay, well, do you want me to get someone in here? Because I'll fuck it up. I'm going to fuck up this food.

Or no, I'm going to fuck up this cooking. So Erica's like tells us, Sutton has decided that we'll all be cooking dinner tonight. Why are we cooking on vacation? Are we on a fucking budget? What the fuck is going on here? So yeah, they're going to attempt to be like humans and cook. And this is going to be like a true disaster over the next. You know, it's shocking for me to be so holy on Erica's side for an entire episode.

But she's exactly right. Like you took me to a national park and made me walk around in a 102 degree weather. And now I have to eat Kathy Hilton's cooking. Why don't you just fucking take me out back and shoot me in the fucking. What kind of vacation is this? It's like, she's like, I'm poor and this is still low. I don't, I don't know. Just pick me home.

Don't make these people cook. Like there's certain people, there's certain shows. And there's, look, there's certain vacations in certain groups of people where the vibe is like, let's get an Airbnb. We'll cook dinner. It's going to be super fun. And there's certain TV shows where I like trusts. I trust it. You know, like Eugene gets on the grill.

Like it's going to be good food. Oh, yeah. You're going to trust them, you're going to trust them. New Jersey for sure. Yeah. You go to New Jersey. Teresa, she'll make, she'll put, she'll throw down. I believe she'll throw down.

You know, there are a lot of these shows, you know, where, you know, people will cook some good food. They're not going to cook good food on Beverly Hills. I was trying to think of Orange County. They would cook with anyone, could anyone cook food on Orange County? Probably not there either. But I'm going to say Beverly Hills, like, don't even bother. This is, no one wants to have Kathy Hilton's cooking. No one does.

I don't want Sutton's chicken. I don't want anyone's salad. We've all seen what happens when Kyle tries to cook salmon when she had her storyline of I really like to cook salmon. Her season arc of cooking salmon, where it got burned every time. Don't do this to us. So we have a scene of Bose talking to Keeley. She's feeling down because she's been doing injections. And then Kyle's doing her makeup.

And Amanda's like, hey, can I ask you for your advice? Yeah, I just, you know, did Sutton have an assistant named Avery or ARI or something like that? Avi. Nice try. Yeah, Avi, yeah. Yeah, nice try, Manda. And doesn't look practiced at all when you do the exact same line to Sutton. Like the exact same thing.

Did you have an assistant named Avery or Avery? Avi. You're so disinterested. You're so disinterested in this topic that you couldn't remember his name. Yep. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yeah, my friend Alana was out. By the way, I'm just saying Alana because I think it changes later. But anyway, my friend Alana was out and ended up talking to some guy. And the guy was like, oh, my God, are you the girl who's friends with the girl who's always wearing Chanel and like is really super rich? Has like Louis Vuitton. And he was like, yeah. And then Alana was like, oh, yeah, my friend knows Sutton. And he said, well, tell Amanda to call me and I'll spill the real dirt on Sutton.

So, I mean, this is a bad breakup. guess. Wow. Well, you know what? I have to say, I know someone who knows Avi, who's, I will say really, well, basically, no, there's an old queen in a bar. No, there's, okay, there's an old queen in a bar whose professional services I use once in a while. And he's like, Avi, I see Avi on the street. He's, he's sort of like, he's not really a house. He's sort of a housewife watcher. His wife is more of a housewife watcher. She might actually be listening to the podcast. Shout out. Old Green the Barre's wife. But like, so when I see him, he'll be like, he's like, oh yeah, I saw Avi. He's so nice. I saw Avi. He always, he loves talking. He always, because that's the way he connects, right? Because

that's, you know, as I do a housewife podcast, basically. And then, uh, he was like, I saw Avi. And I was like, oh, well, you know, he doesn't work for something anymore. He's like, oh, really? I didn't know that. So I kind of feel like this guy who sees Avi regularly on the street did not know that Avi doesn't work for Sun anymore. I don't know. Like, there's a world where listen, that's straight guy team and straight guys just don't care. Like, you could

tell a straight guy and they're just like, this is some gay guy nonsense. So they just tune it out. You know, they just hear like, that's all they hear. All they're thinking is like, this guy is really gay. He's like, my old employer, that fucking bitch, the way she would

throw her titos at my head every single time And I said, you know what, fuck it. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. He's like, uh-huh. Yeah, cool. Well, great seeing you too.

Yeah. I mean, I've talked to straight guys who are like, so what do you do? And then they kind of make you go on a pitch about yourself. You're like, oh, I do this housewives thing. I talk about it. And then you see their eyes glaze over. And I can literally see a reflection of a TV that's not even there watching the game. You know, like I see a ball being thrown over.

I see someone catch the ball. They're getting tackled. I'm like, you're watching the TV in your head. You aren't listening to me. two minds. I'm up to, yeah, it's true. I'm up to two minds. On the one hand, Avi's just going to like just start talking shit about Sutton to a total stranger out of nowhere or, um, but then again, it's like, you know, drunk gay. We do kind of do that shit also. So like, I don't know. Because then on the other hand, he doesn't even say anything to the straight person

who knows him, but then again, straight person is going to filter it all out. So, It could go in two different directions, you know? I think it was probably if I had to guess, which I don't, but I will. I think it's probably Avi drunk in some bar. And he's like, oh, my God, you know, the new cast member, I need a job. I just got fired from one of them. So have her call me. I'll give her the real dirt.

Oh, yeah. Hire me, you know, like being funny. But also probably hate Sutton because it seems like they had a bad breakup because Sutton's, you know, obviously they did. You can tell it's written all over Sutton's face. and he probably is bitter and talking shit at a bar. I mean, that's what we do. It's our culture.

You can't hold it against us. And I think it's his right to talk about it. Now, whether or not he signed an NDA is another thing because he better watch his ass. Because if he is saying shit, he's going to get in some big trouble. But if there's no NDA, then Sutton's an idiot. And she shouldn't have done that. And he can do whatever he wants. Yeah.

Well, Amanda is basically like, he talked to my friend and he said, like, oh, put me into contact with Amanda. I'm going to gossip. her and if she's looking for an assistant you know hire me so Kyle's like oh my god like what the actual hell he's such a nice guy and the fact that he would ever say however call me like obviously it had to had a very bad ending oh thanks for connecting those dots Kyle what what I mean duh was the fact that sudden got cagey and she started shaking and did her that fake smile when she said everything's bad everything's bad everything's bad she's a real detective that one but it's also so Kyle instead of being like, wow, I thought Avi was a really nice person and going back and talking behind

the back of somebody that you worked for is really tacky is what your real friend would say. But Kyle, of course, is like, well, you know, he's such a nice guy. So, wow, it must have been a bad ending. Something must have really fucked him over. Carl's whole face lights up. She's like, I know. Like she comes to life for the first time this season. Someone needs to track down Glenn and find out what happened with Kyle and Glenn.

How about that? How about that? That is a good question. I always wonder about what poor Glenn's doing. Although we said that one season and someone's like, oh no, I saw Glenn running around in the back. You know, so I don't know. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

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