Watch What Crappens - #3168 The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

Tommy still refuses to hang with the group at The Valley: Persian Style’s trunk show and Golnessa has a volatile meeting with a guy she was married to for five minutes. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening,, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch what crap and the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yeo Robs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? Sup bra. We just talked about the traders for our bonus episodes. So go check that out over on Patreon for episodes four and five. Fun show. Got us pretty riled up. as usual. That's very wild. Yes, that's our bonus episodes on Patreon. Patreon is also where you get our ad-free episodes and our video episodes. You can see us right now, looking very handsome.

Thank you. So do that. Also, February 27th, guess what it is? It's the Golden Crappy Awards, the biggest award show in the business people. Come to Los Angeles and see us at the Fonda Theater Friday, February 27th. get your tickets at watch what crapins.com, won't you. We are also getting nominations together. You guys help us put this show together.

We have a bunch of stuff on Instagram happening in the next week or so. We are going to give your nominees for best show, best filling, best, et cetera, et cetera. And we are going to pull those all together for nominees. So be over on our Instagram at watch what crobbins, people. Yeah, that'd be great. It's going to be great. It's going to be so great. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited too. It's a good couple months for us. You know, this is like our pre-pro. It's like our pre-productions. It's like super fun. Yeah. To talk about the year and Bravo again, write music, get all sorts of stuff together. I started to already assemble some of the things that people on Reddit had pulled together had suggested. And so I was just loading them into good old Google sheet.

It's just so many funny things. Like, I feel like I have a pretty good. memory, but there are just so many things that happen over the course of the calendar year on Bravo that, I don't know, we just have a lot to choose from. It'll be a good one. Good one this year. Yes, so today is the Valley Persian style. It's, they should have called it the Valley. That's a person. Season one, episode three, Bartender Blues. I was thinking a good name for it would have been called, the Valley, Gigi is still exhausting style. That would have been a really good one, I think.

Really would have gotten right to the core of this show. Yeah. You know, it's a town where people don't want to grow up, and I get it. It's kind of the theme of the regular valley, you know, guys that don't want to grow up. And this one is Gigi who doesn't want to grow up. But it's like, it's kind of cute. You know, well, like when you're younger, it's like, ha-ha, I carry knives everywhere. I'm hilarious. I have anger issues. I'm going to stab. I'm going to cut off your nuts. And then at some point, it's just like, you're a sad person.

And if you didn't have a dad supporting you, you'd be under a bridge somewhere. You know, just get it together, lady. Why do we have to be subjugated to watching some stupid fight with Gigi and this guy, Dennis? Like, who is this guy? Does anyone care about this guy? There's like no stakes attached to this fight. And yet we have to like spend an entire episode building up to it and then watching it. And then be teased that next week this guy shows up again.

I'm like, what, why, why? Why? We don't care. Like, this is, you're taking us back to like low point shaw's instead of riding the highs of the, of this valley premiere from last week. Well, you know, you've all, you, I think you're forgetting some of the history here. And I don't know if you know it because we haven't talked about it yet. But this guy, she was married to for five minutes or whatever.

The friend that he ended up going out with was Polina. Did you know that? What? It was Paulina? Yeah. So he was dating Paulina. Paulina was the girl at their wedding. At least I think so.

And didn't Gigi punch Paulina or something in a parking lot? I thought she said her friend was named Ty. I thought she, or was Ty the guy that she was getting revenge on by marrying this guy? Yeah. I think that the friend could be wrong because, you know, I'm wrong at least 60% of the time. But I'm pretty sure if my gossip memory serves, I believe it was Paulina who ended up hooking up with this guy.

And I think Gigi punched her somewhere. got in trouble. Either way. It's messy, yes, but it's also in the past and it's not happening on the show. So, like, trying to have this moment with this guy coming on the show and being like, oh my God, remember there was something messy that happened between us? And like, it's just not, it's just, I don't know, I just, she just drains a lot of energy out of me. I'm not going to lie. It's just as you start aging with people that you're watching on TV, right? Because we're all in the same age group, I feel like, roughly. Yeah. And you, you, you, you, you know, We're all aging together and it's just watching Gigi.

Yeah, exactly. Watching Gigi pulling the same shit and you've got a kid and it's like more disturbing now because you've brought a kid into all of this. And it's it's cringe. You know, I worry for your child. There. I said it. I know we're not supposed to mom shame, but you seem like not a great one. You seem like not one that I would pick for somebody.

I feel like we're allowed to mom shame if we're podcasters. I don't think like you're supposed to mom shame if you're on the same TV show. But I think as like outside observers, Oh, okay. I like the rules. Here and there. Okay. Great.

I think here and there we can throw a little, just little, a soups on of some mom shame here and there, you know. A little sprinkle of mom shame. Just a little, just a little touch here and there. Come up. Thank you. Just a little touch. Thanks for the permission. I'll take it.

Yeah. So here we go. The Valley. It's a very, I was going to say slow walk to divorce for all of the couples. It's a pretty brisk walk. to divorce for all of these couples. Pretty brisk. Yeah, they're basically all on the deck of the Titanic,

and the boat, the, the hole is coming out of the water. And we're just, we're just watching the tables slide into the ocean at this point. But there's no classic music. No, just one of awesome old records. There's no Kathy Bates. Although I would like to see, like, Vita taking Kathy Bates' place,

just passing them all on the boat, going like, oh, so sad. So sad. Never learned the right lips. Never learned to ride lipstick. It's going to end with Adam throwing a bowl of tabooly into the ocean. It's just a boat

sinking into an ocean full of tabooly that Adam has made. Congratulations on your one Middle Eastern dish, Adam. Enough. Okay. You're fucking bulgar wheat and shove it up your ass. I've had it with you and your tabooly.

Oh my God. So we see things happening around town. A mirror and Natasha are boxing. She does not look happy or interested in any of this. Gigi is getting a tour of a house that is clearly outside of a price range and does not look like

it fits the definition of downsizing. And of course, she's like, I keep trying to downsize and I can't seem to downsize. I'm like, okay. We can go over to resume, Adam, and guess what Adam's making? Tabuli. Gigantic, gigantic bowl of Tabuli. My name is Tabuli.

It's the guacamole of Summerhouse. And Reza is dancing around and, you know, snapping his fingers and he's got under eye patches on. And so then we go to Sky and Bomshod. And Sky is still my favorite one. I love Sky. She's awful. She seems awful. And I love her.

So she's putting flowers in a vase. And she's always putting flowers in a vase. That's her thing. And Bomchod comes in. And she's like, oh, is this sake? And he's like, it's champagne. And she goes, okay, well, do you want to put it away? Or I was like, okay, I'll put it away.

Maybe in the garage. And she's like, good. Maybe you do this in the garage? Good. I just love that she doesn't hide her hatred for, like her hobby is hating on her husband. Yeah, it really is. And listen, you got to have a hobby. It keeps her off the streets.

I say good for you. Yeah. her husband is the flower and her hobby is a vase full of hate water she's just going to put drain out of hate water so she's like I design one of a kind fine jewelry I'm very good at it I have to say I'll do that I had some new pieces that I would love to showcase and so we're seeing her jewelry and everything and she's like I like to be in control of everything because when I'm not around everybody's lost like who puts flowers and vases we don't even know that could have been sucky that he brought home it's good

have been, but I'm here. And so she's telling a bomb shot. She's like, oh, something I found out last night. And that says she has an only fans page. And we see shots of Gigi's only fans, which is her, you know, like topless, but like covering her boobs with her hands on the couch

or, you know, it's fairly innocent for an only fan. It's not enough. Sorry. I think you got to show, you got to show some goods if you're doing only fans. You don't have to, but I think it would be nice. So Gigi. Ben, Ben coming for Gigi's only fans.

No, for anyone. I think anyone who's, if you're paying money, I mean, I don't want to see what I can see on Instagram. Yeah, and these would be more. Yeah, like an extended, I don't know. I don't know, maybe there's more on there. I don't know. I haven't checked it out. It's too expensive, only fans.

I tried it with the Vanderpump Rules, guys, and I learned my lesson. Oh, I learned. Not even one boner for my $11. But, you know, I don't know, like, good for her for, like, trying to do something to make money. I mean, I guess that's work. You know, sex works work. Like, I have no shame in that. No, not at all.

You know, I don't think OnlyFans is just as profitable as it used to be, right? I mean, I feel like OnlyFans when it came out, people like, oh, yeah, like, I make $100,000 a day. Do you still make that? Because it seems like everybody's on OnlyFan. I feel like my fucking 73-year-old gardener is like, don't forget my OnlyFans, you know? The support would be appreciated. I'm like, oh, my God, what are you doing? Leafblower porn?

Everybody's on there. Yeah, I mean, look, I think some people can do it for sure. They can definitely make their money, but it's got to be hard. It's got to be hard, which is not, I'm not talking about OnlyFans. I'm saying, like, that's, if you want to do well, it's got to be hard. Yeah, it's more difficult for guys, you know, because it's going to be hard. So, but it seems like Sky isn't fully aware of what Onlyfans is. Maybe she thinks it's a fan page.

So she's like, why is she the only one who has a page? Why don't I have a page? Why don't I have a fan page? She's like, OnlyFans? She's like, yeah. I think I should have one. It's like, look it up. It's like, look, it's popular with sex workers.

She's like, oh, okay, never mind. So she's like, oh, so I guess only fans you go and sell yourself for your body or text people. It's kind of like, it's trashy. It's trashy. You can write that in Farsi. Thank you. So now they're talking about this party she's going to have.

She's going to have a trunk show to show off her great, amazing ladybug and also killer spider jewelry. And she's like, did you call the bartender? And he did not. She needs a bartender. And he's like, what am I? Your employee? No, you're a husband that said four days ago, you were going to call a bartender. And then you did not call the bartender. So I know that this episode, people are going to be like, this woman is so mean to her husband. She's an asshole. She's telling him off in front of people. Yeah, but he also didn't call the bartender. And he said he would four days ago. Like, how much does she have to put up with? Yeah, it's annoying. Because she's just trying to throw an event that looks like classy and cool and elevated and instead bomb shots can be

you know serving the drinks so there are going to be five people in her backyard expecting a bartender and it's going to be very difficult for one man to pour five glasses of champagne she she has she should be as angry as she needs to be i say this would have been a great time for tommy to step in and make his grand introduction to the cast but hi i'm your bartender what do you want to drink today you have champagne okay how about this i got a mug that says metz Met's 1986 World Championships. You want to drink your champagne in that? Oh, come on!

You want to try a special drink, fart, in your face? All right, get all here. Yeah, I'm giving you this champagne because I fucking love MJ and it breaks my heart that she says these things about me because I just love her so hard. It's like, uh, can I just have my drink, please? Oh, sorry, here you go, fat face. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. So, we go. over to MJ and Tommy's house and we see her office and it's terrifying. It's messy. As a Virgo, I my butt hole clenched.

I, not in a good way. Wow. They could really use the home edit. They could rainbow organize all those posts. There you go. There you go. That was intentional. That was an intentional home edit. Call back to another episode earlier this week. There he goes. Ben loves his home edit.

So there, it's horrifying. There's shit on every. inch of her desk all over the floors and she's like, what do I even do with this? Like, how am I supposed to get this stuff? If I don't even have a platform to put all the stuff on, how do I get organized? Tommy. You know, this means I'm gifted like messy desk, brilliant mine. Yeah, like Einstein. Hindson's bagels, that is, you dumb nuts. You got a hole in your head just like a bagel. Ha! But you're not in everything bagel. What's the opposite of everything poppy? Because nothing poppy's into your brain ever, you stupid face. I love you, though. I love you so hard.

She's like, you sound like my mom. And he's like, don't compare me to your mother, dude, because that lady's fucking nuts, all right? We were just going to go get something to turn it into a blood bath. Like, we didn't even get a chance to order, all right? I mean, she's your mother, bro. You know, she's just very tough to talk to. She's very tough to talk to. Unlike me, like me, Tommy, who took a dumb three, three minutes into the conversation.

I just shit right there at the table. There was a line at the bathroom. They can clean it up. They got pussed boys. Come on. And J's like, you know what's so funny is that just thinking about it. right now the opening credits of the show they you know this you see everyone and Tommy's big moment as they show him like in the driving a car like in the driver's seat

and it's so funny because that's like his role in the show is that he drops her off and drives off and doesn't shoot with it with the cast and now it's like it's like memorialized and the opening credits so he's like well she told me that you're very unhappy in your marriage and you know I know my Shaw Cummings okay one of the other things that gets me triggered for me it's like the worst parts of you you get from her and she doesn't why she doesn't to see any of the warts. I'm telling you, she's got tons of warts everywhere. Not metaphorical, physical, warts everywhere. That's right. Warts. I can't deal with it anymore. You think Mr. Matt has that many warts? He doesn't. You know what every woman loves being compared to

their mother in a fight? That's what every woman loves, Tommy. And you can't say that she's like Vita. I'm not saying that she's not, but the whole point is that you're denigrating her like Vita. The whole point is that you're too much like Vita. That's the problem. Not that M.J is your punching bag, okay? You don't, get to change it just because you had to deal with Vita for one lunch. And also, you got Vita being very nice to you. She was trying to help you and tell you to get your shit together. She wasn't being mean to you. Yeah. So he says, I'm tired of being put in a position where I'm the one that needs to fix things. I'm the one that needs to get better. I'm the one that needs to get

good swings. Sure. I can be grumpy sometimes. Sure. But like, I feel like I get singled out a lot. No one's looking at the other side of the street and saying, how are you acting? That's like not nothing when he's like, oh, I have mood swings. Sure. I can be grumpy. That's not like, oh, sometimes I don't bring in the newspaper. Sometimes I forget to pour my wife a cup of coffee. Mood swings and grumpiness, that's like a significant thing in someone. Well, especially with Tommy. I mean, Tommy in a good mood is an asshole.

Like, when is Tommy not? Even at their wedding, he seemed overly aggressive. I was like, are you going to drown her? Like, they show clips of them being in love. I'm like, Tommy's about to drown her. You know, that's you in a good mood. So I can only imagine what it's like to deal with you, not in a good mood. So she's like, well, honey, you know, like, I want to.

to have a safe, calm space when one of us wants to talk because, you know, you just shove stuff under the rug. And he's like, well, a lot of the times we don't communicate when we're in a fight because, you know, you take no accountability. So it's like, all right, cool. I don't speak to this person now. That's it. Yeah, but I just, I think that, like, that just taught me, like, you, you really need to turn it down. Turn down. Turn down. She's like, I want to go, I want to go back to where we were, you know, shoving cake in our faces, dry humping, but not. really dry humping because we're in a pool in a resort somewhere. Taking his penis

inside of me while my friend is taking a picture of us in a pool. The last thing I want to do right now is take two steps back or ten cents back. Well, don't worry about it, babe, because I'll drive you there. Okay, you want to go to ten steps back? Get in the car. Okay, reverse. Get out. Bye. She's like, I really just want to go back to public anal

with Tommy. God, I miss that. God, I miss that. So now we go to Bel Air to Celia's house. Who is this? And why is she hanging out with nobody. Did they say who she is? I believe her full name is Cila later,

because she is there and she cooks them some like Halbot and a Roth, and then she leaves. She leaves. Is she someone's mom? She's Tannen's friend. Tannin's like sort of, oh no, I'm sorry, she's not Tans' friend, she's Sky's friend, because Sky's like, Seila is one of my best friends. She's all about nutrition. She's not a slut

on only fans. And, you know, girlfriends usually send each other pictures of shoes or dresses, but for us it's about kitchen stuff, like your skin, your hair, your body, your health. I'm like, please don't tell me the hair and the skin as part of the kitchen stuff, but I see what you're saying.

So they're just friends. And you're talking about your hair, but you need to do your roots, I'm just saying. But why are you going to your friend's house for her to feed you, but then she leaves? And it was so weird, I thought she was going to join the scene, and then the three of them just stay there sitting at the kitchen island.

They're not even welcomed into the actual proper dining room. They're just sitting there as if their host is in front of them chatting with them, but the other woman's like, I'm going to go play mine sweeper upstairs. Just let me know when you're ready to get, leave the house. Yeah, exactly. So, Reza comes. He's like, what is this halibut?

This is so Persian. Tannen shows up too, and they're like, they're cutting vegetables. And rest like, what are we doing here? This beautiful modern house, Skies client is cooking for us in Bel Air, not the valley. Hello, we're trying to start a new franchise here. My intuition is just telling me like, oh my God, Sky wants to be Sela. Like she wants her life. She wants her house and she wants that money.

But guess what she can't have? Adam Sabuli! So Sila feeds them and she's like, it's basically it's bok choy, halibut mushrooms, really clean and healthy. Goodbye. I'll be in my closet. Reorganizing. I am just putting my house on Zillow. And if I can't get any buyers, I'll just burn it down.

Okay, have a great day. So... I heard through the grapevine that you and Greg had a date night the other day, Tannin. And she's like, yeah, I mean, I guess. Let me just have some bread for this. He's like, oh, my God, that's like a shot. Like, give me a shot, am I right? Like, to skinny people, bread is like having a shot.

It's like crazy. Like, that's your buttery nipple, am I right? Yeah, well, I don't know what the buttery nipple is, but like, date, it was good. It's a shot. It's a shot. I know, but I'm just, I'm just a black. I'm just trying to block out the idea of, like, a buttery nipple that's made of bread and it's my nipple. It's just too much. But we had a really

deep conversation where I reminded him that he's like a piece of shit husband and I don't like talking to him and I have more sexual chemistry with a grandfather clock. And it was really great. And then I cried and he brought up that he doesn't like it when I hang out with my girlfriends or go to dinners or have any sort of independence or make any of my own decisions, but he's totally fine to cost off my wealth and have my mom cook for him. And we had a really lovely time on our date night, our quote unquote date night. I like to call it fake night because I could see my fate, which is a divorce very soon. Yeah, but like, how come like you're going up with your girlfriends, but he's not like taking you out like every night of the week? Like, why wouldn't you take your wife out like every night of the week? I mean, come on.

And she's like, yeah, but like never. Like there's no effort on his side. Oh my God. Let me ask you a question I learned on Orange County. Who fills up your tank? And is it filled up with the bully? Because Adam does such a good job on that. And she's like, um, my dogs. Oh my God. The fact that Greg isn't even trying to spend every moment he can with Tannen is so strange to me. I mean, I don't want to see other people. I want to hang out with my husband.

And if the spark goes away or we're not cool or whatever, I don't know if that I would stay. Because honestly, it would be kind of cool if I can have something other than to bully for once. So like Reza acting. I like that Reza's acting like the emotionally mature one. And he's like, the second it's boring, I'm fucking out of there. So not really sure what this chick's doing. And also he's like, oh, the minute the spark goes away, then why do you have to beg your man to touch you? Like literally even like give you a hug.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like like level one touching. Like that's sad. Yeah. So she tells the story about how they went to Boulevard steak and he got a number from some girl and she's texting at 2 a.m. He tells the whole story and she tells the whole story. And he's like, oh my God, are you like worried at first it's like text messages at 2 a.m. And then it's like peeling mint.

And then it's like adding lemon. And then it's chopping tomatoes and onions. And then adding like vulgar weed inside until it becomes something unmanageable. Oh, sorry. I forgot. That's the 2 p.m. phone call when Adam's friends want to bully. Yeah. I'm sorry.

That text comes at to Bully AM. That's a person. So, Sky's like, I don't think it's right. It's very disrespectful to your wife. If Bombshed had another girl's number, it would have been a big problem. Big. I don't accept it and I don't like it. So Tannen's like, well, Greg is like my best friend, you know, because you know, like when best friends, you know, like you hate them and you don't want to ever see them and you just kind of are like, why am I stuck looking at this man with his man bun in the back?

Like that kind of best friend, right? And I love him to death, L.O.L. That was sarcasm, everyone. I may get lost in the bok choy. And as far as like romance and taking care of me as a wife, like those are things. just like not his strength and I just I don't think he thinks that there's a problem. That is so fucking scary because there is a big problem here. Big.

Huge. So now we cut to Greg and Tannen. Who owns this house? Who owns it? What are we even doing here? Why are we here? So now we go to Greg and Tannen. Greg has gotten Tannen a gift. And he's like, I hope you like it because you remember when we had date night and you said, I got like, you know, like I don't take care of you.

And like, I made you cry and I felt really bad about that. And I was worried that your mom would stop cooking for us. So here's the gift. And we go outside and here comes a pink Porsche with a bow on it. I thought she made all the money in this. So did you just go buy her a pink Porsche with her own money? Are you pulling like a Vicky where Vicki got her daughter a car and she's like, okay, have fun making all the pay. It's for this car I picked that for you.

You had the choice in. Bye. But also it's a Porsche tie. T-CAN. It's a 2021 model. That was really, that's nice. That's a nice. A 2021.

How do you know that? Does it say on the car? I don't know. It just says it on our notes. Our note take around. Oh, it says, oh, it said on the screen. Like, oh, it was a 20-21. I guess so. I didn't know.

It's, but Shelby saw it. So she said 2020. Or maybe Shelby's just launching some sort of hate campaign. And as like gullible readers of our own notes are like, and on top of that, it's fueled by blood. Wow, but it's still 200. It's still 213 grand. I mean, geez.

Yikes. And he's like, but look, babe, I got it because it matches the color of her skincare line, right? Oh, yeah. So, we're at, let me tell you a man who's not doing anything wrong while he's getting tax at 2 in the morning. You know what they do? They buy them, their wives, very expensive gifts.

Yeah. That's a C. Gitzy at all, buddy. Yeah. It doesn't address literally any of the issues that she brought to you. It's just you got her a car. And then while I was surprised, that was then Sky came over and took the car and rubbed it on her dog. And she's like, Sky, stop doing that with my brand. So Tannen tells us, the gift is very sweet and obviously the effort and the work is even more important.

But yeah, step in the right direction. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't care. Yeah, she's like, whatever. Thanks for the used Porsche loser. So then we got a resin Adam. And Reza has his gloves on, and he's putting nuts and dried fruit into like little bowls and jars and stuff. And he's like, what do you think like Americans would feel about receiving this in a bag with their company name on it?

We're going to call it the pantry list. It's like, why do Persians get all of this amazing stuff, but like white people don't get it? Like, let's sell it to stupid white people. If you go to a Persian person's house, they'll be. be like on the table nuts and dried fruits. And like, so my husband's like, we need to take this delicious Persian shit and peddle it to the masses. So we have this great idea.

We're going to take dried fruit and nuts and everything and put it in bags and sell it. I was like, I mean, it's not the worst of other things that we've seen on these shows, not the worst. But he's calling it the pantry list, which I feel like just give it a Persian name. Lean into it. Why not? Yeah. call it that's so Persian.

That's so Persian nuts. But you know where else they sell like nuts and small packages? It's a store. I go there and they have that there. We used to have this in my Lebanese family. This was very traditional. Like you go to Sitthi's house and there's, you know, but it was always kind of weird stuff.

I would eat the nuts. But it's like all these different dried prunes and dried apricots and all that stuff. But then there's like really hard candies like almonds, but they've got that super hard shalac on them, you know, the color can. There was a lot of stuff that I grew to believe was only put on the table because you could just put it in a Ziploc later and just serve it for 20 years because nobody ever ate it. I wonder, you know, if you go to like a Persian market or a Middle Eastern market,

if there's something like this that exists. Like I wonder that there, honestly, there should just be like with those crudit trays. You know, you get the big circle that has like the broccoli in one, horn and the tomatoes and the cauliflower and the dip in the middle. That's what I feel like Riza should be doing. Like have a section for the nuts, a section for the dry fruit, dates over here, this over here, and a little something. But like, I actually, like kind of a charcutory, like a person charcutory type thing.

I wonder if they already, I wonder if that's already something that's available. Look, I'm rooting for him because of the whole like, oh my God, that's like so Reza hair care. Like golden resa hair care. Remember that was his thing before. So, yeah, I mean, this is edible. Like, I couldn't eat that hair care. But this is also such an Adam thing. He's like, why don't we take a few small nuts and fruits and put them in a smaller bag

and then sell them as a small bag of things? So then he's like, um, hey. Oh, I'm sorry, Adam is like, um, Raza, do you have time to do a check-in? He's like, yeah, okay, well, let's start it. So they sit. It's like a very therapy moment. They hold each other's hands. Daily check-in time.

Daily check-in. kid. So, he says like, what can I do today or tomorrow to make your day a little bit better? He's like, um, maybe a shoulder rob. Okay. Because like, you know, I work really hard putting like almonds and little baggies. Um, what can I help you with anything? Um, yeah. So I could use like a little more physical touch like caressing and kissing just like out of the blue for a reason. And then Adam like hand jobs. Maybe you could massage my elbows. skin, it's called a weanus, I'll settle for a weanus. And Adam is just staring at him like really uncomfortably.

And he's like, as if he didn't just ask Reza for a shoulder rub. And here Reza's just like, can you give me a hug with a kiss? Which is a significantly lower lift than a shoulder rub. You could braid my back hair. Would that make you feel good? He's like, he's just looking like gross. And he goes, what does uh-huh mean, Adam? And he's like, okay, well, my love, I, tomorrow I'm going to give you all the caresses

and squeeze downs that you are requesting. and that you will feel, and I'll make you feel more whole, okay? He's like, so Adam tells us, my household growing up was much colder, and it was not very affectionate. And anytime anyone would show affection, my father would be like, oh, I'm not into that touchy, feely shit, which is why I've decided to maintain the pattern. Yeah, I would like more. Yeah, I want to, I want to fuck my partner like my parents fucked.

Yeah. So, Reyes, like, I just want some more affection. He's like, he wants me to be like Patrick Swayze and he'll be Demi more in Ghosts. Yeah, but like, I don't want you to die. I just want to make some pottery because Tommy broke all of mine. Yeah, that was called Ghost.

That was where one of the people was dead, Adam. Fucking weirdo. Adam, just like, give the man a hug, please. Just hug him, touch him. Oh, my God, my neighbor just started his car. I swear to God, I'm going to murder this fucking guy. He drives a Porsche. And every time he turns on this car, it's like shakes the walls in the house.

Like, and then he just sits there and guns it for five minutes before he leaves. Like, God forbid, your Porsche doesn't get a little fucking gas in it for five minutes before you leave. You doosh. Just point him to the nearest cliff. Let him go over. Doose. So anyway, yeah, I think I feel like this storyline. I know.

We know. I'm sorry about your teeny, tiny little wiener. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Meanwhile, it's Tannen in her new Porsche. And you're like yelling at her. She's like, it matches my moisturizer. Wish no one cares about.

Shut up, Sky. Anyway, Adam, I mean, I feel like the Adam thing has been going on for a while. Like, he's not even asking for a blowjob unless it's like a reading between the lines. but I'm just like, Adam, hug your man. It's really not hard. Just hug it, please. But also, thank you, Adam, for giving us the image of you doing the ghost pottery scene with Ressa. I really did not need that going into the weekend.

Yeah, no one needs that. But I will say, you know, for these two, they do seem like a cute little couple. Like they've calmed down into like this cute little couple. One makes Tibuli all the time. The other one's like, you want me to bang your nuts? and like coming up with little businesses together. So maybe this is just for the show where they're like, oh, it's the valley.

And now we have to talk about our relationship all the time. I thought you were going to say, no, they're in this cute little groove. One makes it boole you all the time. The other is massively toxic and undermines everyone around him. And it's just nice. That's cute. That's cute. This only couple I'll ever be in.

You know, I need a sweet one and I'll be toxic. You know, I think that's cute. You're so not toxic. Once a toxic person finds his mate. You're not toxic. I feel like I'm toxic. I'm passive aggressive. So the producers are like,

so what do you have to say to people who think you're not? Oh, we're talking to RJ. Reza Jackson. They all call them RJ. The producer's like, hey, RJ, what do you say to people who think that you're not masculine? He goes, yeah, that's called toxic masculinity. Masculinity.

Taxic masculinity. Mascalonony. Muscalanana. masculinity, fuck, I can't even say it anymore, bro. He can't say toxic masculinity, which is pretty funny. So, um, Gigi, uh, you know, he's getting there, they're all getting there else to me.

And Gigi's like, I'm doing red for only fans. I'm doing only fans now. And he's like, oh, wow, okay. So are we going to make money off your feet too? Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. And he's like, no, but like, I want to create content. Is that something we're doing? I mean, something about you, me being single, the bunch of couples.

Like we should make content about that. It's going to go viral. Like single people around people who aren't single. It's going to go crazy. Can't wait. Can't wait. It'll be the second coming of the Red Balloon Show. So Gigi is like, she's like, well, I'm old and I've been staying single for so long, you know?

It's like, no, you're not. You're perfect. I love Milfs. She's like, oh, are you an option for me? It's like, I actually met Golnessa two years ago, like a while back where she didn't. asked me to be on her podcast at the time and like that's an interest I mean like Gonesa's hot. A little crazy

but hot. Kind of annoying and exhausting to talk to and listen to but hot. Yeah so they like flirt like that's gonna happen and then they talk about who they're banging and she's like guys Dennis reached out to me like what?

Just yeah I was whispering who's wishing me happy Mother's Day so I went off on him because that's what you do when people wish you happy Mother's Day am I right? Like I can't take any more of these fucking men like what are they wishing me happy's mother's day like fuck off i needed a load like to talk to your toddler unlike some of us in greece drunk pill popper alcoholic yeah so she went half on him about this about this and she's like i haven't spoken to him since a week after we got married you know he's like that sentence just sounds wrong yeah because everything after that was everything i was

seeing in the press, like all the fucking bullshit. Yeah, so she says that she dated Dennis four months and then broke up with him. And for the last 13 years, they've just been friends. And then they were in business together. They looked out for each other. We would go on family vacations together. And then we went on a trip to Vegas in 24 and we got married. We see a cell phone video of this.

And he's just like thumbs uping the camera. Like, yes, look what I won. Liquid I wine. Yep. And then RJ is like, I played a slot machine and I got three death cards. I want Gigi. I want fucking Gigi. So then Natasha's like, well, and so then Gigi said then a week after he's like, he's with my friend.

She's like, are they still together? She's like, no, they broke up. You know, and so RJ's like, is that a thing getting married and then putting a ring on it and then having this all happened? He's like, why don't you just take it easy and like not get married? She just ignores him. So she's like, yeah, I'm going to see him soon. And, like, I know he's like, let's just talk in person. Like, let's just get past this.

And he goes, and so they're like, are you still interested? And she's like, I mean, no, but like we're literally married for a week. So she tells us that maybe she needs to stop getting married, but relationships aren't for her, you know. And she just wants people to, like, come to room when she needs them and then go away when she doesn't need them. And, you know, be more like her dad. Yeah. She's, I don't find, I don't, I just, I'm like, it's sad. She's just a sad person.

So she says, hey, I was in a relationship with Ty. Do you guys remember Ty? Remember? And I found out some information on him on Thai. And that, like, really made me hurt. And I knew he was, like, close with Dennis as a friend. So I thought, you know what? This is a great way of getting payback on Ty.

So I always knew that Dennis had that thing for me always. So that's why I went. So she got married just to make this guy Ty upset, which is almost like, the story that you hear in like a musical or something like, well, I'm going to date so and so just to get revenge on so and so because that's the person I really love. Yeah, it's sad.

And it's hard to watch because she thinks it's so amusing. You know, it's like, yeah, that makes me cool. You know, it's like when she pulls out like a full joint in a minute in a backyard at a family's house. It's like, yeah, I'm like really cool. You're sad. You're a sad fucking person, man. Yeah.

So, and he's kind of sad listening to it. He's just like, I thought this was going to be a scene of us flirting. and now it's just kind of gross, you know? So then she's like, you know, no matter what happened, like you shouldn't hook up with my friend a week after we're married, but the whole situation is so stupid you can't really take sides, but they're trying to. And she's like, well, you know, like it's good that RJ's reminding me

of my wrong doings in this too, but like, you know, I mean, maybe it makes me not want to like cut his dick off and slap him with it. Maybe I'll just cut his dick off and leave it at that. And they're like, oh my God, is growing. Yeah. So now we go to Skye's house because she's going to set up,

she's setting up for the trunk party and everything and people are coming over and setting things up. And this, Miley comes out, Miley's, I think, their daughter, so cute. And she comes over to see if she can, like, have a bracelet. She's like, no, no bracelet for you, bracelet's lead to the only fans.

Go inside. So Skye talks about how she lived in Iran for the first 20 years of her life and she had an amazing life, and everyone was always providing the best. And then she came to America, and she started working at a restaurant and providing for herself. And she could just be who she wanted to be. And then she went into jewelry and all this fun stuff. So Baumstadt's like, oh, no, the bartender's not answering.

Oh, no. Okay, well, bad news. I don't think we have a bartender. I'm going to be the bartender. And she goes, oh, good. So we can just sweep that under the rug, too. Have fun. Let's just sweep it under the rung.

Yeah. So Adam and Reza are driving to the party, and Adam's asking Reza if he's ever seen the jewelry. And he's like, yeah, I have seen her jewelry. I actually saw some rings when I was having lunch and found out that Greg gets numbers from other women. I was like, what? My subtle, my subtle transition. Yeah. He's like, I was like, what? Like everything you're telling me sounds like one red flag after the other. Getting calls at 2 a.m. only involve a few things, okay, when you're persian. Dick, hoo-ha, drugs, or money, okay? Well, why are we throwing the three out of four of those things are great. Yeah, what the hell?

It's kind of alarming, says Adam. I know, it's crazy those phone numbers. No, it's alarming how fast we're driving. This is scary. We're only going 30 miles per hour. I know, but statistically, most accidents happen below 25 miles per hour. Could you slow down to please, Reza? Honey, we just put a sticker on the back of our car that says Tabuli on board.

Slow down. So then. So people start arriving. Do we get to go to the Grove? Because I already bought tickets to go see a Tabuliamese screening of a movie. You park your Tupperware outside. So Bombshawd. Bomshod sees it and he goes

Tabuli's not a Persian dish but if he likes to make it good for him I was wondering about that I was like I think you said that last week right? Yeah because our food is similar but I didn't know is that so I didn't know that we all had Tabuli I know that Greek and Lebanese

people fight over food a lot we're like no Tabuli's ours nah it's ours how dare you grape leaves are ours but I didn't know we had that with Persians but I guess we don't Adam just Adam saw some something on TV and went with it.

He's like, well, it's not European, so I think it will work. So Tannen, although I guess if Greece is claiming Tbili, I guess it could be European. Tannen is saying hi to Adam. She's like, oh, I feel like I haven't seen you in a while. Oh, you know it is in the Tibuli minds. Res and I were actually talking about you on the way in. She's like, oh, boy, yeah, he was saying that sometimes you drive over 35 miles per hour. And I just want to remind you, it's really dangerous to do that,

especially if you've got Tabuli in the front seat. So just really think about it. Yeah, Adam, Reza and I were just talking about you, Tannen, and Reza was saying he wishes that you would touch him more. Could you just touch him, please? Okay, everyone, we're going to play tag, and I just want to know that everyone can be it except for Reza, so we just all have to touch Reza,

and that counts as me touching him. Okay, thanks. She's like, God, you really can't tell a secret in this group. You know, look, okay, like, Greg, yes. Greg has some questionable behavior. There was a phone call. But, you know, the point was I was trying to bring up a communication issue. And Greg comes in.

He's like, hey. Hey, what are we talking about me? And she's like, yeah, we're talking about communication. And to bully, if you really want to broaden it up. But by the way, Adam brings this up a baton. And they're like at the screen door. And she's like about to go outside. He's like, by the way, I hear that you and Greg are having communication issues.

You want to talk about it here in a very. public place. It's like, what are you doing? Right? Like, there's no chill on this show. It's like, so, have you ever seen her jewelry? Yes, I saw it when we were talking about Greg possibly cheating on his wife. Like, come on, guys. I know it's been a while, but let's like layer

stuff in here. A lot of tap dancing. So Greg's like, yeah, I mean, we have our days. Some days are great. Some days are not. You know, the great days are when she's out of town and I get a number from a hot 22-year-old at the club. And the days that aren't greater when I'm back home. And I can't

text back the 22 year old. So, you know, take it to my day. Believe me, I wasn't trying to do anything. Come on. He's like, well, I mean, you don't have a fake number. You can like give people. He's like, oh, that's good. That's good. But if I had a fake number, how would I get the text? Like, you don't make any sense. Think things through at him. Yeah, think about it. Think about it. So now we go to Sky and she's like, okay, this is a little killer spider ring. This ring, do you put it on? Hopefully your husband will put it on one day and it will kill him in his sleep. A little tiny poison violin, sun trickle. And then MJ shows up.

Vita's already there. So she's saying hi and everything. And then Amir and Natasha arrived. And then Greg tells RJ like, oh, I shave my chest for you, man. Oh, and they're like, aha, laughing, et cetera. And Bombshot is like behind the bar, just trying to serve drinks.

He's like sweating and unhappy. He doesn't even know how to open up a bottle of wine. Yeah. Yeah. And Sky, the, uh, sky just yells to the whole party. Oh, he called the. bartender last night at 9.30, everybody. He's like, the point is that I did it. Isn't it the effort that counts?

No, it's the lack of effort that counts. That's the point, sir. And it's like, oh, the point, the point. Listen to the point. You're driving me nuts with the point. That is the point, though. This is your wife's event for her career. And you're like saving the responsibilities for the last second when things could fall through. And so then Gigi's like, I thought this was supposed to be an event for like 80 people. Like, where are the 80 people? Did she mean eight people? That's a burn.

See, I divided it by 10 and you just wind up with eight. If you think about it, it's really funny. Yeah, like, I really want 80 men that were supposed to be here for, like, 80 people. Like, what? Are there 80 penises going to be here? Like, I can't deal with you, motherfuckers. I'm so stressed right now. I'm really stressed.

So then we see MJ standing with RJ. and Reza Reza's like, oh my God, why are your nipples out? He's like, oh, you know. And MJ is like, no, it looks good, it looks good. And he does like, no, button up, button up. It looks stupid.

You look like trash. Maybe if you buttoned up, your chest wouldn't be showing. And MJ is like, no, don't listen to them. We want your chest, okay? Tommy is at home. Give me some chest. Give me some chest. And he's like, oh, my God, I buttoned it.

One button now I look like I'm here. Like, I've got three kids. And they all start. laughing. So Gigi's fanning herself and talking about makeup and Natasha and she's like this is boring. I'm gonna smoke. I'm gonna like smoke. I can't

even with you fuckers. So she pulls out like a blunt, you know, it's not really a blunt. It's just a joint. But she pulls it at and slites it up in this backyard. Like who does that? I guess that it's legal, but that's still tacky as fuck. Come on now. It is really tacky. I mean it's just the kids with it. And Sky is like not

happy. She's like, who does that without asking? And so she's like, she's like, she's smoking. like she owns the place like I get it get your shit together so she basically is like um hey can you if you see the kids can you make sure they don't come outside because i don't want them to see gji doing drugs and only fans so everybody smells it and they're like yeah that's not cool gji so she doesn't care and she's like where the sing a man at and rj is like me me and she just laughs so then we go to adam talking about how he wants to go up

with Amir. I'll bet you do. And they talk a little bit about that. And Amir talks about how their kids. Like he wanted a large family. And she's like, no more than three. Please. They just gang up on you. And he's like, well, the accidents are the best ones, right? And she goes, oh, God, just fucking kill me. And RJ is talking to MJ. And he's like, he's like, hey, where's Tommy, by the way?

He's like, well, he'll come pick me up. So if you want to see him, you can line. up at the window and you can see the top part of his head as he pulls into the driveway. So that's really exciting for everyone, I think. So she's like, yeah, Tommy's absence is starting to wear on me.

But, like, I know it's complicated because Tommy and Reza haven't seen each other in five years. So, like, you want to roll some clips of Tommy coming to Reza's house and destroying plants and trying to murder him? You know, love those clips. I love every time they show those clips. He's like, God damn it.

have you, fuck you, ficus! Fuck you, Ficus! I think Tommy, it's, like, Reza's toxic. We know this, and we agree. Reza, like, tried to get you to go to jail. He tried to actually ruin your life. It's not good that you threw his pots around. That was really, really bad.

That was not acceptable at all. And I also understand that from Tommy's perspective, like, the punishment did not fit the crime. He was going to try, Reza was going to have Tommy have a felony on his record, which is life-altering. And so I understand why Tommy hates Reza. I think there's also a world where you can go to the party and just not talk to Reza at all and just ignore him.

No. Not, no. Do you think Reza is going to do that? He'll be like, well, Tommy, would you like to have a conversation? Start out like that. And then be like, you did it. It's your fault. You fucking consultant.

Well, if he's being resolute enough to not go, he can be resolute enough to not talk to Reza. Yeah. Well, that's true. But that's just not how it works on these shows. You know, Reza would be all up in his business. He doesn't want to punch Reza and go to jail, which I think is what he thinks will happen. I think it's like, fuck these people. You said my wife had 10 abortions. You attacked her all season.

You went for her. You made her cry every single day. I stood up for her and then I was going to have to go to jail. I'm not hanging out with these toxic people. I think it's like the Todd from Salt Lake City thing where he's like, okay, you come home crying. Every time you hang out with these people, you talk about how toxic they are and how they're ruining your life. And yet you still want to keep going back there while it's ruining our whole relationship. And like at some point, this is disrespectful to our relationship, you even going around there.

You know, so fuck off. Well, I understand why he's like what he's doing what he's doing. It's for all those things. Maybe in a weird way he's thinking, uh, this way you can shoot your show without it being awkward. Because if I'm there, it's going to be awkward and it's going to be tense every single time and whatever. But it's also clear that MJ wants him to be there. So it's one of those tough things, you know, in a relationship. So anyway.

Yeah, and like Salt Lake City, this is their career. So it's not just saying, like, I won't be around these people. It's also saying, like, I'm not going to shoot. Like, I'm going to make it harder for you to shoot a show that is your career and our family's income. So, like, you know, you got to bend a little. Yeah. I don't even know what Tommy does for a living. Do we know?

I don't know. Does he do anything? Does Tommy have a job? He did something at some point, but I don't know what he does now, other than he did the podcast with MJ, but yeah, I don't know. But either way, they're all like, where is Tommy not here? Bring Tommy. And MJ is like, not want to talk about this. He's a marketing entrepreneur and CEO of For Our Son Agency, helping small businesses with branding. He's also involved in podcasting with MJ and runs the Fight Club nonprofit, but it's F-E-I-G-H-T, like his name,

nonprofit for literacy, focusing on being a dad to his son, Shams, and navigating life on the valley. There you go. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why, but when I think about, like, needing to reach out to, like, a brand consultant, I don't know why I don't think of Tommy. I don't know why that's not like. All right.

Let's talk about marketing. Here we go. Right. Thoughts. Nothing but thoughts. So. Have I suggested that we go with a campaign center around boobs? Boops.

So Gigi tells us, I think that Maris is afraid of being alone, and she's also very insecure. And so, like, maybe she's thinking of, like, how is she going to find another guy to love her? But I'll tell you something, that girl has been getting the work done. And she, like, gestures to, like, the full body. And she's like, anytime one person is in a marriage starts to look good, it's a divorce coming, which is not wrong.

And MJ is saying, yeah, I want to, like, focus on my life and my career. But, like, I just, I'm busy and, like, I don't have time to worry about if my marriage is working out or not. So whatever. And she's like, well, I mean, I don't want you to become suppressed and numb to a situation because he's, this way, you're this way, and then that's it, you know? Yeah, Gigi, but you're also the lady who's like divorced for five minutes, you know, married for five minutes at a time. I don't think anyone's asking for Gigi advice.

Yeah, seriously, relationship expert. But basically Gigi's like, you're mirroring him, right? But does he ever mirror you? Just, I'm just like, I don't know. Is this improv class? Can we not? I know. What is that supposed to mean?

So Adam is still nosing into Greg and Tanna's business and being like, Hey, maybe you guys should go on a date. You guys should go on more dates. And Greg is like, well, we go on less than we should. And Tannen says, oh, that's such a sad answer. I mean, there's like a chart about science and it says like percentages of which ones would work out. And Bomshot and Sky are 97%. You guys are perfect.

He's like, have you not seen her attacking me all day about this bartender? I don't know. It doesn't seem like it. You know, we come to a point where we don't really reach a resolution, right? And Adam goes, in a separate bed. Like, Adam, you're not even giving Rez a hug. Please don't be judging about the beds. So, bomb shots like, yeah, she's staying away from me.

And, like, that's very new. I enjoy waking up in the morning and seeing her face and burping in it and then farting and then scratching my balls and deciding to go back to sleep when she can't get the extra two hours of sleep she was hoping for. God, I love that. Waking up next to her and seeing one of my back hairs in her teeth for no reason, that's romance. Right there. And that's what we're missing right now. And Tannin's like, well, I have a perspective because I sleep in separate beds too and I'm happier. And he's like, well, I don't give a shit you sleep better. And she goes, well, fuck you then. He goes, yeah, well, fuck me then. Right. I don't give a shit. And they're kind of getting too serious. It's like, Gigi sees them. And she's like, what the fuck's going on out there? And she goes, well, let me say something about men. I mean, men are more like, let me brush it under the rug. And that bitch I deal. with Sky, when I have an issue, I go and I deal with her.

So go and deal with her. And Tannen's like, Sky's my best friend, but I definitely think that she's stubborn. And she kind of like blocks off if there's an issue rather than talking about it. And I'm like the opposite. Okay. So then Bombshot's like, well, talking about communication and talking this and that, whatever. So Sky's like, okay, well, the talking really doesn't get anywhere because like I have an event.

And then we don't have a bartender. And he's like, oh, whoa, no, dude, none of the problem. Like, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. And then he left. Okay? So whatever. He's like, but the bartender didn't show up.

And it's like, oh, like a lot of things don't show up, but I guess that's fine. And he's like, what do you mean a lot of things? Here, here's the other things. And so now they're full on fighting in front of everybody. And she's like, just leave me out of this guys. Leave me out of it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's rude and disrespectful to come to my house and talk to me or my marriage.

This is solo. Don't be a loser. So she goes off. And I kind of agree with her. I mean, you are berating your husband in front of everybody, like whether or not he deserves it. So you can't be rate your husband and then expect people to not say something. Yeah. So now we go around the valley to see what people are up to.

We go to MJ and Tommy's house and they have like a Dave and Buster style little basketball kind of arcade game thing. And Vita's there just shooting baskets. She's like, oh, I was very, very athletic. I was ping pong champion. I love that. I started laughing so hard. She's like shooting baskets. She goes, I was ping pong champion.

And she goes, yeah, yeah, mom, we know. We're very proud of you. Oh, no basketball too. Look at that. I got another one. So Gigi, we go to Tannen's house and Gigi comes over. And Tannin, there's guacamole and Tannin saying how anyone coming over, I always make sure people are fed. That's just part of the culture, I think, you know.

Nusha means. shit John means feeding your soul in a way. So that's how we show love. We make sure people are fed. I was like, yes. We're aware. Yes. Yes.

We're aware. Every scene on this show has to start with. Do you know what Persians do? We feed each other. Okay. Let's go to a pool party. Do you know what Persians do at a pool party? Well, they swim.

But not until they feed each other. That's for sure. I think it's great. But like at a certain point, when we see, that like your friends come over and there's like a spread of food out, I get it, you're feeding your friends. Like I don't need to be spelled out for me. It's like, no, we do.

We have guacamole fights. Yeah, like other cultures never feed their friends. That's what cracks me up on the show. They're like, Persians like eating. Oh, really? Most of us invite our friends over and starve them. We just like to watch them starve to death. My favorite is when any, like any culture does this.

And this happens in all these shows. And it comes from a good place, but it's always so funny, like, you know what? Our culture culture is all about food. We just love eating. I suppose on those crazy cultures that just hate eating. I mean, it is true, though, because it is true in a way because my Lebanese family was like that.

It's like you go over, there's food all the time, constantly, constantly. But then my mom, it's like, invite your friends over after school. Oh, okay, what are we having? Nothing. Why would you eat? You're fat. I mean, yeah, definitely certain cultures are much more into abundance than others. that's for sure.

Southern moms are like starve, fatty. I feel like half and half, you know. I feel like it would be the opposite. I feel like Southern moms would be like... Southern moms with chubby kids. Oh, okay. Let me rephrase it.

Got it. Got it. But like it is like very funny to me when people are like, my culture is all about food. It's like pretty sure food is a major staple in every culture. But that being said,

I'm not trying to make tannin. You know, I'm not trying to be like, well, she's full of shit. shit, you know, like whatever. It's just a funny thing that every culture takes pride in like a certain basic thing as if like they're the only culture that does it. Yeah. Like Jersey, they shoot in a restaurant in Jersey and they're like, this is what Italians do. We eat.

Yeah, we all go to dinner. We all do it. Yeah. If we're lucky enough to do it, we do it. So Gigi and Tannen are talking about Dennis who nobody fucking cares of a stupid relationship and Tannen's trying to get to the bottom of like, do you care? Like, why are you meeting with him? I mean, he hurt you, right? Like, she was betrayed by him and her best friend.

And she just portrays it like, I don't know, like maybe her walls are up or maybe she's trying to be strong. She doesn't care. She needs something to shoot is what's happening. So then we hear this whole story about this loser again. And then we go over to bombshots. And he's in his office. And this guy comes in and she's like, oh, this is clean to you? Nice.

Because there's a stack of folders. He's like, oh, I've just cleaned up. She's like, oh, really? This is clean to you. you, okay, I see. Yeah, we're bookending this episode with messy desks, first MJ and now bomb shot. So, Sky's like, okay, so messy Pence.

Actually, we didn't get to talk about it on Saturday, but as much as I'm pissed off at everyone else, I'm pissed off at you too, because at some point I turned around that everybody's so busy talking to each other about our problems, and you were actually engaging with them instead of serving champagne. I mean, how could you do that? And he's like, no, but I had no choice

but to engage in them, my dear. I mean, I stood up for both of us when I said, my wife won't even sleep in the same bed as me. I like when he goes, I mean, I stood up for the both of us. And she was, good. Kind of. He's like, mostly. Either way. So he's mad that she berated him in front of everybody.

And she's mad that he didn't get the bartender. And then he talks shit about the relationship to everybody when it's none of their business. And I think they both have a point. But also, Sky, you're on the Valley. and the whole point of the show is for you guys to talk about your relationships with each other. So you've got a lot to get used to. Yeah.

And she basically is like, she's like, you know what? I asked you to do something and you couldn't deliver. And then I pointed out and you didn't like it. It goes, you know what? I'm a big fucking failure. And she's like, whatever. And yes, you're right on that.

That's on camera. And I'll be using that clip every single time you do something wrong. Thank you very much. And so she goes, oh, God, whenever there's a problem, you end up losing your shit. like, yeah, I'm a failure. I failed. I failed.

What the fuck is that? I asked you to do something. You couldn't deliver. And I pointed out and you didn't like it. He goes, you know what? I'm a big fucking failure. She goes, oh, my God. Even though I call you out and you still do it.

Yes. I mean, I find their horrible relationship fun. I think it's cute. So now we go to Dennis. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I can't tell if they're headed for divorce or this is just their love language. It could go either way right now. I think there's like a slight edge towards divorce, but.

Not as bad as Tannen and Greg. That's, they're done. Yeah. So we go to Dennis and Gigi's big scene in that restaurant with the weird tiles on the wall. I can't with this restaurant and these weird fucking tiles being in triangular, like those shiny floor tiles that are now on the wall in weird triangular shapes. It bothers me.

And just like reflecting off of his veneers. It's just too much, too much going on here. Oh my goodness. So Dennis is like, what? No hug, no kiss, no nothing. And she's like, yeah, you know, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. And so is America. Cickets from America. Dennis is like, well, here I am. I'm here in the tile restaurant. How about that? And she's doing this whole like, I am so mad at you. I could fucking lose it with you. Like you come in here, you don't bring me gold. I would have a sky right. over the sky saying, I'm sorry, I'd be giving you gifts. I'd be giving you jewels, nothing, you come here with nothing.

I'm so mad. Oh, God, Gigi, nobody cares. No one cares. She's like, you were family. He's like, we still are. We still are. She's like, no, no. He's like, why are you so angry?

She's like, well, should we start there? Is that a good place to start? It started when I was one years old, okay? And no one gave me, someone said the food was coming into the hangar, and the food did not come into the hangar, okay? That airplane never made it. He's like, no, no, no, why are you angry about me? Not why are you angry in general?

So I was born with a golden spoon in my, a golden knife in my hand. It's like, no, what are you talking about? But I love that you have to explain things to guys on the show. Like, they're all so stupid. She's like, okay, let me explain this to you. You marry me, we get divorced. And then one second later, you're dating my friend. He's like, so?

It's like, yeah, you can't do that. He's like, what I do? It's like, it's not like I cheated on you. you know, we got a divorce and then I started dating your friend. What's the big deal? So she's telling us she's telling us

there's a lot of hurt there. There's a lot of betrayal there. I had a fear of showing sadness so that's usually when anger would show up. I just, but I went up to her and I kind of just went into her face and the producer goes like, but like you kind of played a part.

Like how does that factor into this? Does that, like you also were playing games? She goes, no. it doesn't matter because what I did with Dennis, like it doesn't factor into it because Dennis didn't know at that time. It was part of a revenge scheme against Ty. So he thought it was a real marriage. He didn't know.

He didn't know I was just using him. So it's not the same. He didn't know we were an episode of boring liaisons. So she's like, you seem numb to everything that I'm saying. Like as if it's not a big deal to just go after somebody's friend. I mean, like, go fuck yourself right now. Go fuck yourself right now so hard because if you're, you're such a fucking doucheback.

If you're going to be, I've got to go outside. Like, I'm so upset right now. Like, her bad act. I just can't. And he's like, and this whole thing is acting. And he's like, hold on a second. You're acting like I cheated on you or I left you. And I didn't, you said, like, I didn't cheat on you or leave you for another girl.

She said, you knew very well when we started talking about the annulment. And my response was, wow, are you already lining up a third marriage? You seem very eager to get this annulled because right there, my snarky comment was correct. Yeah, and he's like, and you go around and you're talking shit to everybody like, oh, I never loved Dennis. I would never be with Dennis. I never married Dennis. So then why do you care? Like, why do you care for?

He goes, why do you care for? So just for people keeping up the marriage that Gigi didn't care about, she wanted Dennis to care about also. So just going out there. Yeah. And she's like, really? I'm going to go outside and I'm going to fucking punch something. Do you get it? I'm going to fucking punch something.

It's like you're in the valley. Everything already looks like it's punched. And then there's that too. And so she goes outside and she's like, what is this shit? She's crying. Dennis just sitting there and the rest of us were scratching her head. Like, wait, this was the cliffhanger? This is what we're supposed to care about?

Yeah. I wonder, will he drink his leachy martini? Let's find out next week. The Valley Persian style. Oh, no. Well, everybody, that was it. This ends a week of Watchwood Crapins. Super fun week we had here with you guys.

Love ya. Go get tickets for the Golden Crappies February 27th in Hollywood. You can get those tickets at watchwackrappins.com, and we will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye, everyone. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsor. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila.

She's a Daniela. It chills. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gautier. Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-hullis. Hava Nigelah Weber

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie She has no less namey Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock

Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B K Sarrah Sarah whatever will be Will Lauren Sillsby She gets an A from us It's Lindsay D Let's give a kisserino To Lisa Lino

Fresh as a daisy, it's Amazing McKinnery. Aren't you glad it's Mary Ann Arns? Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burg. This is Living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. Happy Are We is Allison with an eye. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V.

Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 C Cs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manaw. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron.

She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Alcalani. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Class. Maximum love for Sandy Maximuska. She's the queen B. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Teleth Sun.

Shannon, out of a can and Anthony. Please don't stop it, solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. You'll always get the full story with Tori. Parsons. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys.