Watch What Crappens - #3186 Below Deck Med S10E18 Part One: The Long Kizz Goodnight

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

This is part 1 of a 2-part recap!Below Deck Mediterranean sputters to a close as nearly every person on the boat finds someone to kiss. Except the chef, of course. Plus, the mawb wives leave and a baby arrives. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Watchword Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. How's it going, Ronnie? Well, hello. Good. What's going on with you? Not much.

Today we are talking about the Below Deck med season finale. You know, it's been craziness. Yeah, I know. Like, thank goodness to be. able to watch that stupid show these days because the news is horrific. We got a lot of people who thanked us over the weekend. Like, thank you so much for distracting me during these crazy times. And that's what we are really trying to do is provide a haven for distractions. But sometimes the truth is we just, like, you can only tune out the outside world so much.

And like, it's just, it's despicable what's happening out there. I'm horrified, honestly, by everything that's happening with ICE, horrified by the murder of Alex Preddy and Renee Good, Keith Porter, and the six other people who've been murdered. I think this, this, this, this, this agency is the six others. Jesus Christ. Isn't that crazy? I have a friend of Minnesota. Her nephew can't even go outside.

It's crazy that we're all just kind of standing around. I mean, I don't even know what to do at this point about it. It's like raise money. Well, I donated. Complaining. I mean, I'm donating too, but it's like, what do you fucking do? It's like you donate your money. money. Like what do you do? I mean, one of them was up there yesterday. One of the military

ICE people was giving a speech yesterday like, you speak out against this and you say stuff against this. And we, I think we've seen the consequences of that. Yeah, you're fucking murdering people. Like, yeah. What are you even supposed to do, you know? Don't. And yeah, and don't gaslight us. Okay, we, we are professional examiners of gaslighting. We watch the real housewives. So we know when it's happening. Okay. And don't do it. Don't do it to us because we have eyes and ears. And that's like one thing that's just absolutely, you know, a really like sickening side effect of all this is that we, that not only is this agency out of control, they've been here in L.A. They've been to many people cities.

And we're seeing firsthand people that we know who are kind of are living in terror. But on top of that, then they're going to gaslight us. Like, you know, this guy with his camera was, was trying to come out and massacre these agents. No. No, so we are like, fuck this. It's some utter shit show out there right now. It's another shit show. But that's why we're also here.

Because we want to provide at the same time, we want to provide distraction from it. We know you can't put your head in the sand and ignore what's going on in the outside world. But you can also have some sanity in the sense of like we deserve some sanity. We deserve to be able to laugh and have a moment where we can before we go back to the headlines. So that's what we're trying our best to do over here. Yeah, that's what we do. I mean, we've been here for 14 years. There's a lot that's gone down in this 14 years.

I mean, especially the last decade. It's been fucking crazy out here. And just because we're not on here every day screaming our heads off about it, it doesn't mean that we don't care and that we don't live in the same country as you do. So just try and remember that. You know, be kind to each other even when the shit heads are at your door. You know, just remember that we have each other and count on each other because that's all you can really do. Yeah, exactly.

And it's been really cool. by the way, it's been really interesting seeing the various Bravo Leberties who have taken stands. Obviously, Andy Cohen took a big stand last night and Watch Happens Live. I saw Molly and Wittner from Southern Charm protesting at, you know, going out there and protesting. Like, I was not expecting that. Because you never know, with Southern Charm. You never know where anyone stands, right? With Bravo in general, you never know where anybody's.

With Bravo in general. I mean, my God. I'm waiting for Ramona to. drop just a problematic video, right? As we get ready for Vicki, as we get ready for Vicki to return to Orange County and Gretchen and these kinds of people, you know, Vicki who just posted some pro-ice bullshit the other day, it's like, you know, what is, you know, what's the line and what's the line where you're like, well, I'm done with this, you know?

But being done with it doesn't really help anything because we're living in the world with these people, you know? So I say, you know, my only thing that I've ever had, my defense weapon, my defense has always been to mock you and to laugh at you. So that's what I will continue to do because that's really the only tools I was given in this area. So those are the tools I'm going to use, you know, and we need to all use the tools that we have. Yes, that is 100% correct. Mockery is mockery is what I'm going to. lean on, but also I donated.

And that made me feel, that made me feel good. But it's a, it's, it's, it's a brutal world out there. So, uh, but over in the Mediterranean, guess what? There's a yacht. You know, in a world, in a world that's burning down around our fucking heads, at least there are people like Joe who's just walking on a beach, carrying a chair and saying things like, Kizzy's fucking naughty mate. I just want to smell her vagina.

You know, dare to dream. They had a dream. Hopefully he can get that. He's able to get that glade plug-in going. Fill his nostrils. That glade plug in. The goo plugin. Plug her in.

Yeah. So we start off where we start off with a season of craziness, you know, like a, this season. on below deck. And then we end up on the beach where they're cleaning up the beach picnic. And Nathan's like, ah, you need to leave Kizzy alone, mate. And Joe's like,

oh, I want to smell her vagina. I'm just at a level where I feel like I can make bad decisions. Yeah, you have one day to get your dick wet. And you're going to try and do that on your last day. And Nathan's like, you need to chill with the flirting with Kizzy.

I've always been able to chat shit with Nathan and have a bit of a laugh. But now, I don't know what's changed. I'm like, because now he's the boss and he realizes how incompetent you are and also how irresponsible you are with other members of a team. That's what's changed. Well, also, Nathan, Nathan, it was all good with Nathan when he was doing the same thing two weeks ago. But now Nathan has a girlfriend that he's trying to impress and win back. And so he's going to stand up a little bit more to you.

I mean, let's face it. Nathan's not suddenly like this great person. Okay. I'm not buying any of this. Well, again, and also his antics outside of the show have really soured me on him, which is too bad because on the show I do like him quite a bit. And I really, really loved how he just kind of like put Joe in his place, you know, late at night in their room. And I was like, oh, that is like, I love this. I was like, too bad I know that he's a shithead in real life.

Damn it. Damn it. So Nathan's like, havin that purport. person who's like the party playboy. On the last two years, Joe did bring it out, bring out that side of me. That's a bit boisterous and I'm not proud of. I'm like, he didn't bring it out of you.

You brought it out of you. I have to say, I will, I will, you can't blame everything on Joe as much as he is a shithead. But yeah, it's a mature. It's just time to move on to a different chapter. So V comes to pick him up on the tender and, um, on the boat. Jennifer, the primary is like, hey, shut come.

It's your name, Alicia. Come over here. Light with me on the lounger. Come on, light down. You know what, guys, let's have a discussion. What do you call tomato sauce? Gravy or sauce? Yeah, this is the existential question of our time.

Finally, Jennifer is here. It's in the name, Jennifer. You just called it tomato sauce. Hell, I love that. Has anybody ever ordered a tomato gravy? No, no, no, nor just tomato gravy. It's called sauce. Sauce.

You guys call sauce or gravy, gravy or sauce. So Frank's like, we call it gravy on Rhode Island And someone else goes sauce Braves sauce Thank you Gravy is brown When I think of gravy I think of brown things Yeah, so what do you call marinera sauce then?

I call it marinera sauce What am I a fucking idiot? Frank, what do you You literally just said What do you call marinera sauce? Marinera sauce, that's what it is You just called it sauce, Frank I don't go on gravy.

Sorry, Aisha, this is a fight between Italians. So Asia's like, these guys are fun. They're like 74% scary and we do not get off to a good start. And we see images of that one crazy girl being like, where's my king crab and my truffles? You know what? You're the captain. So why do we care about wind if we've got a captain?

Am I right? How am I supposed to be on a luxury yacht without clams, Clamps Casino. I know. But by the end of it, they'll be yelling, Oh, is it best fantasy? I forget it. Now we get my favorite, a call from Leah.

Morning, baby, good morning, baby. I'm coming to see you. You're so cute, baby. I can't wait to be with you, baby. Please tell me you've got the P-Man hair and the capri pants, baby. Oh, yeah. You see the new trailer for Mass. of the universe. Wow. Talk about a fashion vision board. Okay, can't wait to see you. You leave today.

I'll see you very soon, Beebe. My baby. Little Bear says, hi, baby. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So people are working stuff. And Annalise is harassing Kathy about crab legs. She's like, did he get king crab legs? Did he get king crab legs? Did he get king crab legs? Did he get King Crabblex? For fuck sake. Kathy is, I think Kathy's just like sitting at a table. She's just, I feel like Kathy is at her wit's end, but she's too British to be able to show it. But she's just sitting there and she goes, I'm going to let the chef surprise you on that front.

She's like, I don't know. I don't give a fuck. I'm dealing with bigger things than your fucking king crab legs. So get out of my face. But since she's British, it's like, have a great day. She just, she's got that British thing where she's like, I hate you. Either way. Like either way.

Whether or not it gets crab legs for you, I hate you and I wish you were dead, you know. But cheerio. So Kizzy is still in the hospital, I guess, over her fucking karma toe. And she sends Joe a picture while he's vaping in his bunk. And she's like, is this a sexy toe or what? And he's like, would you like me to kiss it and make it better? And then Nathan goes up to Matt. And Max is being quiet.

And by the way, I just moved on because I'm like, I just can't even think about Joe kissing his toe and flirtatious and the boner. I actually was impressed. I'm just not going there. I'm just not doing it. I'm actually impressed because I feel I feel like in real life, like if they weren't on a TV show, Joe would have dumped her the second she broke something. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

But he still needs to, he needs to damage. She's damaged. She's damaged. Yeah. So. I'm not ready for this. I've never done this. I've never dated someone with a broken toe.

I don't know if I can do it. So then Max is saying, he's like, coming into this season, I had the plan to be lead deck hand. And then one day, I really want to be boss, huh? To like show, like, how I've evolved, you know,

but like lead backhand didn't work because of my enemy, Nathan. So how can I give my best when this guy not appreciate, you know? Your best wasn't even good. It wasn't good. Like you're off on, you're off letting guests drive tenders and putting guests it risks by like dragging them too fast on the thing and bouncing them off.

Then you go to bed early. Why would you think that you would be led that cancer? Why? And he's doing the old, the old fashion. Well, I'm not putting out a good performance because my boss didn't inspire me, right?

Like, how can I give me? Yeah. He's going to appreciate that. I need to be inspired to do my job. Your page should be the inspiration. Yeah. My job to inspire you.

Get to work. lame ass. So Captain Sandy goes to check on Josh, who's stressing because plates, plates, plates, why would they do this to me? Plates, hasn't raised for that. And she's like, hey there, how you doing? What are you doing for dinner tonight? He's like, well, Skylap with dry ice. That's going to be plated. Don't worry. It'll be on the plate. So wait, you're going to get dry ice. Well, that's good. I don't want wet ice. Don't make it wet ice. That's one thing I demand on this boat. We will not have wet. I know it's going to be dry.

So is that like the fog? Is it smoking? Am I supposed to see in that? You know what? This would be a nice family style meal, I think. Droom it. Now, when you said that the scalps and the dry ice are going to be plated, are those multiple plates? No, just one plate that would be passed around.

Okay, see, you almost got me there. Separate plates for each scallop, Josh. You can do it. Come on, different plates. You know, I was thinking maybe we could do something a little creative tonight if you're using ice. you know, maybe you could put it on a plate and then we can get Joe done here and he could fuck ice. How about that?

Be fine. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. So the guests want to eat at 10. They're like, eat it 10 p.m. Eat it 10 p.m. We're sauce or gravy. Discuss.

Sauce is neither a sauce nor a gravy. Discuss. So Aisha's in the galley with Kathy and they're just seeing what what Kizzy has said. like because because because he's texting whatever and so aisha kizzy basically i squeezed my toe whilst i screamed it him multiple times it's basically text messages about her experience getting an x-ray which is about as

experience as exciting as one could imagine and then um Nathan decides even though we can't stand joe and kizzy flirting he's like all right you go pick up kizzy with a with a tender from the from the from the shore so doesn't seem smart because he's trying to like lower these two. Although part of me thinks, you guys, you know what, just make out now on the tender while no one can see you.

And then you get out of your system and then you get onto the boat. No, because that's not what they want to do. Like the whole thrill to them is pissing the other people off because they are both, you know, like Kizzy, like getting onto the camera when they were secretly kissing on purpose and then doing all this stuff in front of V on purpose.

Like that's part of the thrill. You know, so they could have gone on the dander and they could have just fucked. there and been done with it and been fine. Everything would have been fine, but that's not the thrill. You know, the thrill is being assholes. Also, I have to just, this is just more proof that Kizzy is a monster and a horrible human being.

So when she was texting all this stuff, she basically what she said was, guys, I have to be in crutches and a boot. That's all she said. But she's one of those people who texts you one, two, three, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven lines to say that. It's a lot. I hate that. I hate when people are like,

so how you doing? Bloop. The next thing. Bloop, the next thing. Bloop. I love bloop. The next thing. Do you think I don't have a fucking life?

I'm ignoring your texts on purpose. I'm trying to watch something on YouTube and your text keep popping up because you're a fucking monster who can't stop sucking my time. Kizzy. Well, this takes us back to the classic debate between Bethany Franklin and Carol Radswell of one big block of text versus many individual text. because I think that they fought about that in the reunion when Carol had her Tootsie glasses on.

And I think the issue was that Bethany would send her Tootsie glasses. I remember that. Wasn't she wearing like a turtleneck ball gown at that one too? Yeah, she was actually just like wearing something fucking crazy. Yeah, she was. And I seem to remember there was some issue because it was like Bethany was either wrote too many text messages

or it was a wall of text. remember what it was, but I just remember debating this. I regrettably do fall a little bit more into the multiple texts at once camp because a lot of times I have a thought and then I text and then I have a follow-up thought. But I try to like add B2W to acknowledge that this is a, and this is a, you are a B2W person. Like, oh, here's another thought. Like the, I think that BGW implies if I had thought about this in time, I would have included it in the first text. But also like a wall of text is annoying too when you get like something that looks too big. So it is nice to break it up.

But then you get too many notifications. There's just no easy solve on this one, unfortunately. Well, I understand. But Ben, this is 11 texts. It's 11. And let me read them. Multiple times. One text.

Looked at the x-ray. One text. Refused to show us. One text. And just said one text. Regardless of what it is, you need a boot and crutches. One text. I was like, cool.

Okay. I can see the x-ray. One text. He was like, do you need the crutches? One text. Right. One text. Thanks, love. One text. It was so rude.

Like, fuck off, bro. Wait, wait. Is it possible? I hate to be in Kizzy's defense. Is it possible that Aisha was responding to these, but the production only put up Kizzy's responses. Because why is she saying, right? And why is she saying thanks, I don't know.

I mean, she's not E. Cummings. Oh, did I just excoriate Kizzy because I'm reading text wrong? Whatever. Give it to her. Let her have it. Who cares? She's gone. She's out of our lives. No, because I'm more mad at her now about the text than anything she's done all season. And I don't think that's fair because I probably just read them wrong. And you know, like two weeks ago, I like let Max have it. And Max wasn't even the one throwing chicken nuggets. And I knew it. Like, well, I think I'm, I think I'm misplacing some of my anger. At this point, I have to say I was not looking at the screen at this moment. So I don't, I can't say one.

way or another. It's like I look down at my phone at my own text messages and then when I looked up, like I heard Asia just say, oh, it's a bit. And that's all I heard. That's all that seemed that mattered. But I, I miss the visuals of this. So I, but I kind of do that too. Whenever I'm watching, when I'm watching TV and someone like checks a text, I check my text too. Like, well, maybe I have like, I'm like, I'm competing with the people on TV. I'm like, well, maybe I got a text too. So you're not the only thing. You know, in real life when someone checks their phone. And then everyone pulls out their phone to check their phone. Yeah.

It's like coughing. But either way, Nathan, Nathan sends Joe to pick up, to collect Kizzy. And then Joe on the radio goes, I can't wait. Which, of course, everyone can hear. So V is like, oh, wow, real mature. I mean, this guy's a real piece of work.

So then the guests want to eat at 10. And Josh is like 10 p.m. I mean, hello, sir. You're in Europe. You're in Barcelona. Okay. Everyone should have had a nice siesta at this point. So then I love this.

The women are sitting around in the hot tub. And I think this is the mom, Jennifer. She's like, all right, you know what? You can't just go inject yourselves. Okay, you got to be an artist to do it. Okay, case and point. Look at your lips. We got to get those fixed.

Got to get them fixed. They look like crab legs, ironically. Yeah. I love the honesty. Yeah, we got to fix those. I love those look terrible. But they're all of your. lips look terrible. You all look crazy.

Okay. It's like one one terrible telling another terrible. You know, like don't throw don't throw Eminem's in the camp. Jennifer. This woman Jennifer, house. This woman Jennifer, I find her voice to be very comforting, which is not what you'd expect

because she does admittedly sound like a buzzard at times. She's like, sauce! But I think it's just like being from New York, you just hear this, you hear this accent and this kind of like cadence to the to the to the patter in way, like I had never realized how much seeped into my, into my consciousness until I came

out here. Because it's not like, you know, if you come back to New York with me and hang out with my friends or my family, we're not all sitting there like, oh my God, what's going on? Is it called sauce or is it called gravy? We don't sit around talking like that. But you just, it is around. You hear it so much that when I hear these women talking and the way that they, you know, talk back with what you can't inject yourself. What are you talking about? Getting injecties. You need an artist to do that. Speaking of what, you've got to fix your lips. It looked terrible, but it look beautiful, Antelwoods. It's like, I just love the way she's saying it.

You know, well, don't throw flames when you live in the wax house. That's what I'll say to that lady. Yeah, that's fair. So now we see shots of people working again. And it's a disco party night, okay? I don't think we want to take these people back to a time where the mob was actually in power. Don't give them the power. Especially they are?

there was just a giant mob thing last month. Really? I think remember that I feel like we talked about it you know there's this giant gambling thing that happened in New York City that involved several

professional athletes like Chauncey Billups who's a coach I think in Detroit and for the NBA and basically the mob was setting up private poker games it's actually incredibly fascinating They set of private poker games, like high roller things, whatever, where people who are wealthy would come in to gamble and these were illegal poker games and they'd be gambling a huge amount of stuff. And they would use people like Chauncey Billups and others to lure in people to these high stakes games.

But what people didn't realize was that the mob was cheating and they had like cameras and the card shufflers and this and that. And like, it's actually an incredibly high tech oceans 11 kind of thing. And it was a massive, massive sting. And the FBI cracked down. And it was a huge, huge organized crime situation. So just another thing that's more interesting than Kizzy. Just, you know. Well, good for them making it, making it work and changing times, rapidly changing times.

I know, keeping up with tech, mob tech. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. Because you never thought the mob would be like so technical, you know, so good at stuff like that. It is kind of funny. You don't think of like Tony, you know, Tony Soprano or Christopher Soprano or anyone in the Sopranos being able like to sit down and hear a pitch from a tech person. Me like, this is what we got to do. We got to insert this code into the card counter.

And it's going to let you know what cards and which people's hands, you know. All right, guys. I got a new plan for the future of this family. We're learning DOS. That's it. We're learning to us. Okay. We're going back to basics.

Okay, what's your plan? No, we're going to use the basic computer language. Basic, like in 321 contact magazine. Okay, HyperCard. It's the future, everyone. All right, we'll find each other on Myspace. All right? Make a perfect number on MySpace.

We'll send each other codes. Yeah. I don't even want to hear it from you. unless it's in HTML. You got it? All right. I'm getting concerned. P.S.

It's not fucking cold gravy. And the next person that says that's being thrown off. All right. So it's just go party night. And Max is still pretending that he knows how to meditate. He's in his room saying we saw a lot.

And meanwhile, Nathan is FaceTiming with Gail. And he's like, what's a nor? I like, and she's like, well, I had some ice cream and then we went off on a hike and a swim. Okay, so what are you doing tonight? I think we're just going to take it easy. Taking it easy from all that hiking and swimming and ice cream having.

So then Nathan's like, that's rough. A fact? Well, yeah, I guess the hiking part is. I guess the swimming part is too. I don't know. I need a nap after a nap. I'm exhausted after I take a nap. I can only imagine how people who hike feel, especially after ice cream.

I need her now. So Nathan's like, the fact that she didn't jump on that plane and go straight home shows me that she doesn't want to call it Twit. An army is sitting here daydreaming about moving forward and having a beautiful life together. And could you imagine me walking her down the aisle? I'm crying my eyes out. I'm crying me eyes out. I'm not for fuck sake. Okay, settle down. I know you're in love, but you're also bored. So let's just get back to reality, sir. so they hang up and Joe and Kizzy reunite and she's like

I'm back baby girl you've been gone off of the show for like 23 minutes of air time I mean this between last episode and this she's acting like she's been gone for three years you like went to the doctor we're gone for an hour and came back

so she's like the doctors did tell me when I was in the hospital he said someone needs to give me a kiss on the lips or why might die that's my description is a kiss on the lips. The problem is kissing you on the lips, then they need a prescription. You see, it's just a, it's a vicious cycle.

So now they're flirting on the boat, and he's like, I'm going as slow as possible on the boat to get as much time as I can with a kisser. And they go back to the ship, and let's see, she faced plants right on to Joe, and he's like,

because she, like, falls out. She doesn't make the transition from tender to ship for her smoothly. and Vee's annoyed but she's just trying not to show it too much because she doesn't want to give them hose the satisfaction her words she goes but I think I might lose it eventually so now people are getting ready but also V like I get that V's hurt and these people are extremely obnoxious but you don't you dated that man for five minutes too like all of you I think I'm frustrated at the end and I'm just like you stop it to like I can't what's even worse than Joe is somebody being a by Joe, you know? Joe's like the croup.

Like, you know, it's going to, well, I guess you would be affected by the croup. I don't know why. Joe is not typhoid. Joe? Joe is like consumption. Joe is like the malaria I got on an expedition into the jungle. I don't know where I am.

Joe. I'm breaking down today, Ben. What can I tell you? But, yeah, Joe's just, Joe's, never mind. It doesn't matter. But what hurts more than watching Joe is it watching that Joe can still affect people. You know, Joe's a disgusting human.

We all know Joe's disgusting. Anybody who's watch a show knows Joe is a disappointment and he's gross. So stop being so affected by Joe's, you know? But I am actually okay with her being affected by Joe. I do want her to move on. but I also feel like it's only been like it's also been like five days and they're stuck in the same place together and she has to see these two idiots every single day

and she's also quite frankly morning still and on top of that I'm glad that she's annoyed because I like that Joe doesn't get to be let off easily that's his whole thing his whole thing you know was that he came crying to her like I did something bad that I don't deserve you and she's like it's okay it's cool and then he was like oh my God it's great I got I love

of Victoria. And then the moment she's like, actually it is fucked up, then he starts spinning a narrative that she is a demon because he's just not comfortable with people not liking him. And that's, that is what's happened now with Whitney. It's happened with her. So I'd like that she's actively not liking him because he can't deal with it. That's, and that's how people like him are. I don't think it affects him at all. That's what's bugging me. It's like it doesn't affect him. He's just going to go make out with Kizzy and like have his fun with Kizzy. And you're the one who's like sitting there miserable. I mean, I think you should, I don't know, get some revenge. thing about being stuck on a boat is you can't even get some revenge booty because like what are your options the clown in the kitchen crying about plates like that's all she's got left so like what's you're going to do so most of it it's not like i'm annoyed with her i would just like to see her not be affected by a loser you're too good for that yeah do better so are you crazy the sauce when it comes down to it are you going to be gravy or you're going to be a sauce Hey, what do you call marinara sauce? Trick question.

It's called marinara source. So Josh is telling us that this last dinner means everything, but the guests have been a tough one. So he's going to just do some nice dishes. And he tries to say, he tries to do an American accent. He tries to say, get out of here. But instead he goes, get out of here. And then the producer just stare at him like, was that something?

That was my New York accent. Well, you didn't do it. with a guitar in your hands. So for that, we thank you. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now Josh is telling Aisha that he's got some truffles for Annalise.

By the way, someone pointed out in the comments that Joe, that he's served truffles this season. So it's like they're out of season, but he's already served them. So that didn't really work. But then they also suggested that maybe Max ate them all Because, you know, Max is always eating.

There was that thing. Those were the last truffles in Europe on that boat. But he basically got some shitty ones. And he's going to say that he got them imported from Australia overnight because these people are idiots. And, you know, and she'll be happy. And of course, she does wind up being happy. And then we see Kizzy and she's hobbling around.

And Kizzy's like, I don't like crutches. I find them very difficult to use. gosh, I can't imagine all the people were like, you know what I love crutches? Give me some crutches. I just want to go use some crutches every single day. Yeah. And she's telling me this to V. And V's like, well, at least you're protected. That's really important. You know, we just want you to be healthy. Kizzy. And Joe's like, do you know where the mayonnaise is? Huh? And Kizzy goes, in me, bummy. And he goes, yeah, that's probably going to be the best food ever eat. Oh, God, just both of you. just shut up.

Ah, just go away. Sink the boat. Meanwhile, up at the table, Jennifer goes, the higher they have, the closer to God, which is funny because her hair is not high at all. It's just down. It's just like flat and hanging down to her knees.

Ah, closer to God. And then everyone is just like, we see their rooms. Their rooms are like, it's just like clothes everywhere. It's a disaster. Yeah. So,

So Annalise is like, well, Josh better not disappoint with dinner tonight. I'll tell you out much. And Jennifer's like, oh, my God. Everyone's breasts looks so good. I just want a motorboat yours. And Josh serves as scallops ofiche with some king crab and truffles. So Annalise is like, oh, my God, for me. Oh, my God.

Like, this is so nice. So have you ever had scallop savietsi? Yes. Is it like boogers? Tell me the truth. You know, we're some truth telling now. I don't think it's like boogers, but you know, there's some people who feel like sushi just in general tastes like boogers. I know cevice is not sushi, but like raw fish tastes like boogers.

I enjoy, I enjoy like a scallop sushi moment. So I am, I'm pro. I'm pro scallop Covee Covee Cajette. Okay.

I like a cooked scallop but raw scallop is just so like slimy to me. It's not like

normal sushi. It's like a slimy sushi. I guess my input didn't really matter. Thanks for asking my opinion that you're not

even going to take into consideration on your scalep journey. I am taking it into consideration. I'll maybe try it one day.

That's why I'm asking you. You know? Because to me it's just like a it's a bowl of boll of boll of it's a bowl of boll

I'm going to try some scallop savietsi at the mother load, really? I don't think so. That's not the place you want to get scallop savici. That's not where you want to really ingest anything. But I think, I don't know, I kind of feel like if your scallops saviche or scallops tastes like boogers, then something went wrong. I think that means there was probably over savi-ce-ed. I don't know. What am I talking about?

I don't know what I'm talking about. And how do you know what boogers taste like, Ben? well that's a real question we all know what bickers tastes like we were all children once i mean let's not act like we wouldn't you didn't have recess and you have a cold that day and that's not coming down your nose coming and you know you're on a soccer field and you got it's got nowhere else to go it goes right in that mouth oh it's just what kids do well we all know it's confessions so they get their starter and um it's it's the you know dry ice thing you know captain sandy's like ooh It's me.

So Aisha's like, oh, he's such a good chef. The guests are loving it. I don't got to knock him over the head and feed him to the fishes. What are we exporting to Europe for our culture? That's not the right time to ask. I know. But you know what? Terrible question right now.

So Josh is like, so this is quite a French. French flavors, spring cabbage, turbot has been raised. There's a robot. Two bot. Robot. Two bots. And then on top of the caviar, just for you, Annalise. Oh my God.

Caviar for me. Like, I can't even. But wasn't she the one complaining that the caviar was on top of the oysters last week? What didn't she complain about? Let's be honest. So, Kizzy is sent to bed to rest her foot. no, no, I'm resting. I'm fine. I'll stay awake. No, you need your rest. And also, I need a rest from you. You're really obnoxious.

I heard the mayonnaise and the asshole thing. And that's just not acceptable. Go to bed. Just go to bed. So then, of course, Joe carries her. She's like, my night and shining he can carry me around all night. And he's like, it's just so hard not to kiss her. It's like, it's really not that hard to not kiss her. So. But what's the difference? Like, what's the difference between actually kissing her, but then doing everything that you guys are doing now, like carrying her around and hugging all over each other and talking about eating manis out of her ass. Like, how is that much better? Just make out with her. Like, you guys have no respect anyway, so just do what you're going to do. It's bugging me because they're acting like they win some Puritan

award, you know, like, wow, we really, look at us, look at the restraint. You're showing no restraint. So stop. Right. Right. So dinner is still being served. it's after midnight and it's being served and it's lobster and all sorts of stuff and they are all loving it and Nathan gets a text from Gail and she's like, so we'll be heading back to Balserlena tomorrow morning and he's like yes so then he's like yes. I can't believe it. This is more exciting than when I found out that my sister has a new fiancé is going to get married again. My faith of relationships is restored because my sister's going to get married.

That was always going through his head. He goes and gives Kathy a hug. And Kathy's saying this week has been the most that she's ever cried. And Max has been the person that's seen her cry the most and probably also made her cry. as well. Let's not, let's not forget. And then, um, she's just saying how he skips her up and kisses her and just gives her affection and yada, yada, yada and how, uh, but she's like, I think Max and I are on the same page. I mean, but I can never be so sure. It's been a bit of a roller coaster, a relationship, you know, where the highs are, well, we remember, I'm the smart one. The lows are

we remember he's the stupid one. And then you say, okay, I guess we'll see where this goes. So now Nathan is on the phone with Gail again, and he's like, did you have a fun night? She's like, I had a really fun night, actually. Did I tell you about the ice cream? Yeah, did. That's nice. What are you doing tomorrow? More ice cream?

Tomorrow? What's going on tomorrow? Oh, we're going out. Are you coming out with us? There'll be ice cream. Am I coming out with you? I need to think about it. Am I ready to be hurt again?

Am I ready for the... Yes, you're ready. You're ready. You're staying in Barcelona. for him, so stop acting like you're not going to go out. What are you going to do instead? You already ate ice cream. Will that be Van Lewins? I'm not sure

about that. Maybe Jenny is, oh, don't know who that is. It's an American brand. It's delicious. So then, um, V is just going through it. And she's been going through it. And, uh, we see in the galley that Kathy is telling Asia that she, like, I've got it.

I'll handle them tonight, etc. And this is where Jennifer is like, who wants to get motorboated? And V basically goes out to the naughty boy and she lies down on it. And she starts to cry. This, of course, is the designated place to cry as evidenced by Lisa Barlow and the naughty boy. Heather Gay comes out. She's like, I'm just trying to be your friend, but you're a liar and a story planter. So Nathan sees this and he goes down.

He's like, what's wrong? did you not get ice cream today apparently that's the thing that people are doing she's like oh gave me a hug come on what's wrong she's like it's just like bond and kizzie and jo and it's all together and it just sucks and i need to have a release at some point so he's feeling really bad for her because he's seeing her crying he sees that she's like working she works hard on his team she sees what's happened she knows that she's been screwed over by joe and that's just shitty and the timing is awful. And, you know, it takes them back to being super protective of my sister.

Yeah, and he says that he kicked his dad out of the house when he was 15 and that he had to be the protector for his mom. And so seeing V cry makes him sad. So then Joe, meanwhile, is parting at the disco. And Jennifer's like, hey, who's the girl with the boot? Who's that? She walks funny, eh? Let's trip her.

I like her for you. I like her for you. You should get with her. She's a good girl. Get with her. So Nathan's like, if you're upsetting girls left, right and center, then you need to take some accountability.

I just want V to know. I've got her back. So Nathan just basically is like, don't let us affect you. I understand. Of course, I have a sister. So people start going to bed.

Bedtime. Bedtime. Bed time. Asia is complimenting Josh on his great food. You were amazing. That was a six minute amazing. I hope that you really understood that. It's like, I got it.

Thank you. Please leave. I prefer stars. Can we just go back to rating things with stars? So Joe and Nathan are in their room. And Joe's like, what a season that was? Oh, man, I can't wait. I expel her vagina.

So then Nathan's like, oh, man. Nathan's like angry. And Joe picks up on it. And Joe's like, what are you good? It's like, no, it's just me. She's crying. He's crying. Why is she crying?

I thought everything was sweet. I mean, all I did was make out with another girl while she was sick in bed on her boyfriend's anniversary of his death. Like, what's wrong with that? I was like, don't be a fucking noob, man. I'm warning you. A morning, yeah. And so he's in the top bunk and he's like leaning out. And he's, we see him in like night vision, like, a morning, yeah.

Angry, angry monk face. And Joe's like, oh, God, look, now the big man's talking, huh? And he's like, yeah, the big man's choking. Because when I see a fucking woman crying on the fucking swim platform, that doesn't sit right with me, don't act the big man, or I'm going to smack the shit out of you. Everybody knows how you treat women when you don't like them anymore. You ghost them.

You ghost them. That's what you're supposed to do. And Joe, that's right. That's how it operates. And she goes, oh, really? Oh, shit. So then Nathan's like, do you want to go right now? I mean, Nathan is angry.

And he is like in his face, basically. Like, I am not fucking around. And just like, come on, bro. He's like, well, then fucking behave yourself, will you? Or I'm gonna fucking lose me cool. I'm gonna lose this close with you. I'm this close. Behave yourself or shut the fuck up because it's gone too far.

And he's like, oh, okay, okay. And he goes, don't pass my fucking arm, you fucking dick. I'm serious. I'm telling you this from the top bunk. It means something. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. You're fucking bad. And just fucking behave yourself.

I will wake up tomorrow. Fresh. Nathan's my best friend. And at the end of the day, you got monk hair from monk hair. And he's supposed to be in my corner. But I disagree with a lot of things he's done, you know. But I've not opened my mouth except to show my teeth like I'm doing right now. This is not a brotherly warning.

This is an attack. It's an attack on me. No, it's a breathaly warning. It's not an attack. It's in being like, I've told you as your boss, three different times, stop doing what you're doing and you're still doing it. So now I'm mad. Fucking Joe. Um, uh, so Joe's like, okay, good night. Sorry, bro. Sorry. Good night, bro. So they go to bed. It's awkward. Next morning they wake, everyone wakes up. Vee goes up to Kizzi to give her a hug and then she steps on her foot, which I loved. And he's like,

oh, I was like, good for you, V. Good for you. He's like, whips. So, uh, captain Sandy comes down to Josh. And she's like, oh, hey, how'd your dinner go last night? Anybody get lost in the fog? Dry ice? He's like, oh, really good. They enjoyed it. Yeah, it was plated.

It was plated. I don't know if you heard, but it was plated. It was put on plates. So, well, you know what? If you were a restaurant, I'd give you a letter grade of B and I'd give it to you twice because guess who's coming to town today. Me, B. That's right.

Oh, God, so exciting. You know, in the beginning for Nathan, it was a rough start. I'm just going to start reflecting on people. It was a rough start for Nathan. Remember when he knocked the boat into the lamp and it crashed? Oh, God, that was hilarious. He's the first time bo-son. But now we've got a smooth machine.

You know what? I wish we had a smoothie machine, though, right? That would actually be quite refreshing in the morning. Look into that. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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