Watch What Crappens - #3196 Married To Medicine S12E09 + Karen Huger Interview: MiraMarred Intentions and Huger Hubris Part One

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

This is part 1 of 2Karen sits down with Andy to take…well I wouldn’t call it accountability. The cake? Does that work? It was an interview, anyway. Then Heavenly finally shows up to the Married to Medicine girls trip in Miramar, and she’s going to have to give an incredible stump speech to get Simone’s forgiveness. Will Simone shut up long enough for her to get one out? To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening,, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to What, What Crapin. It's a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yeo, Bruffs. I'm Ronnie, and that over there is a very handsome, thin, and well-coffed. Ben Mandelker, hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie, how's it going? Good. Happy Monday, buddy. Happy Monday.

Super exciting Monday because Amazon Live is now going daytime, people. we're at 1.30 p.m. Pacific time. So it's coming up today, right now in a minute. And then tonight on Crappy Hour, we've got Crystal Kung Minkaw from the Hubblerag podcast. So excited to talk to her. Come talk to us over on YouTube live. You can find it on our Patreon. It's a free post. That's also where you find our newsletter, our bonus episodes that are covering traders right now, all of our videos and ad-free listening. It's all at Patreon, guys. The newsletter and the the crappy hours are all free. So go over there.

And we are putting up the nominations for Golden Crappy Awards. Those go up this week as well as the live stream tickets. You can buy those coming up Wednesday, the 4th. If you want to come see us in Hollywood, there are a few tickets left still over at watchwockrappins.com. That's February 27th. We're so excited. I hope we see all of you there.

Yeah, that's going to be great. Can't wait for this ballot to come together. I was looking over everything that people have submitted over the past, you know, two weeks or so. And there are so many funny moments that I've forgotten about. Like, you know, it's, it's just crazy. We, you know, we get to this part of the year. And right now, all we can think about is Salt Lake City and Potomac. Like, that was like a large number of the suggestions come from those shows. But the truth is that the Valley had such an amazing season and summer house too. And there's just all these things from nine months ago that we just blatantly forget about. And it's so fun revisiting them all with everyone's suggestions.

So, you know, we're going to get the sorting house out after this and we're going to get some, the categories ready. And it's going to be a fun one this year. That's for sure. But today we are going to be doing a bit of a two for one special on the podcast. because we've got Karen's big interview, her jailhouse interview, post-jail house, meaning jail, comma, house interview. And married to medicine, you know, the Karen interview was really fun to watch.

It was really interesting. But it wasn't really like enough for a full recap. Could you imagine? And then Karen was like, I'm an alcoholic, but I don't want to say it. I mean, this doesn't really have the, it's just not quite like the recap stuff. but I mean we could We definitely want to talk about it So we could subject you guys to that

But you know Let's all do ourselves a favor today Yeah So basically we opened this Karen interview With her coming out of jail Which we saw last week at the end of the finale Her coming out of jail And just wearing, you know

Like a scarf on her head And looking traumatized from wearing acid wash jeans And then in the car ride She's like, roll down the window Roll down the window And he rolls it down with the GoPro on there. And she's like, hello. Hello, purple panda pants.

It's me, Karen. I'll see you with the tally-ho, darling. And then rolled it back up and was like, I hope that was enough. I hope that was enough for the throngs of fans who appeared to say hello to me. Now, Queen, Karen, you got. Roll it up. Roll it up. Okay, roll it down.

Roll it down. No, no, no, I don't like this person. Roll it back up again. Okay, well, halfway. Cookies here. Cookies here. Cookie, cookie. Do we have a cookie for cookie?

No. Okay, roll it up, roll it up. Oh, wait. Look, there's the man from the tally-ho. He's got a waffle. Okay, roll it down just slightly so we can insert the waffle through, but I don't have to talk to him. Thank you very much. I didn't realize how much I missed Karen's ever-persing lips until I saw them again.

I mean, it's another character on that show. You know, we missed Karen this season, and we also missed the pursing, constant-person. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I always got like a little bit of hair in the front of her teeth or like So maybe something's coming out of her nose. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And be her deep thoughts, lip purse. Love it. Yes, it's classic. That's not really a purse, is it? A purse is like, what would you call this? It's just like forever getting a piece of, forever getting an herb out of your teeth. Maybe like a lip swish. Yeah, swish, swish.

Like you're doing the mouthwash in the front of your teeth. Yeah, it's like a posterior. I can't stop staring at myself doing that. You're like, I've missed it all season, so I have to make up for it. I'm going to get an entire season of lip switches in here. So Ray and Raven and Karen's sister Bridget are at the house waiting. and they're just all sitting there. And then Ray is like, well, I'm assuming she's just going to open the door.

And Raven's like, make an entrance. I mean, she's not going to ring the bell or nothing. I mean, I don't ring the bell to my own house, right? Imagine if Karen just came flying through the window. Like, well, that was a surprise. I mean, all our bets were on you coming through the door. Down the chimney like Santa Claus. Ray!

When did we put real wood in here, Ray, since when? Is it me? Do you feel like now that Raven has grown up, she's playing a child? She seems kind of like an actress in a play playing a child Like someone who's too old to be in the role And she's like, Mommy, Mommy, I miss you. She's just got that energy of like a theater kid. Like a Gabriella Carteris sort of thing.

I think that's something like she was cast and Glee, but she's 30. That's such a good call. Like she's like a big bow in her hair. Like, I'm ready for bedtime, mommy. I miss you so much, mommy. Yeah, so she's there. It's such a specific description, and it's so accurate. Yeah, because I just can't believe she's so grown up now.

I was looking at, someone posted pictures of her, like, influencing or whatever, and I was like, when did she become a little lady, you know? I'm kind of like a young Ray doing influencer work. Well, housewife children always go to. through some weird time warp where we see them in one season going off to college and there's lots of cries and tears. And then the next season, it's like, well, now that they're graduated, I'm like, how did that happen? It's been nine months, but they somehow graduated college already. Somehow, the timelines between, you know, when the show is shot, when it airs, et cetera,

especially because like these shows don't always come back on the air in an exact one year later. But in our mind, it's like, well, it's been two seasons, but really three years of past. And they're just like, what? So now Raven is like 46 years old. I'm like, wait a second. Yeah. But Ravens, they're happy.

Oh, sorry, go ahead. Yeah, I was saying that she's complimenting Ray's little flowers that she got. She goes, oh, my God, I love, she's going to love that. Oh, and the balloons too. And oh, my God. Oh, you got the sign. And she tells her aunt, like, yeah, you know, every holiday, dad prints out this fancy 2000s font every time.

Just a all caps aerial font with medium weight. I don't know why he loves that font, but he, I know we call him the Black Bill Gates, but like he really is attached to those Microsoft Word fonts, isn't he? That, aren't you? I faxed it. It's just like, what? Well, go. Oh, oh, ah, br.

Very slowly coming. The sign is actually a two pieces of paper. versus a cover sheet. Yeah. One of two. You have to like scroll up. You have to peel it off to see the actual welcome home sign. Yeah.

So he's done that. And he's done the husband gift of flowers, which means he did something wrong, you know? So that's interesting. And I mean, it's cute and everything. But he's basically like, oh shit, Karen's home.

I was surprised he was even here. People were like, what? How come he didn't go to the jail to pick Karen up? A? Karen probably didn't want that. She probably wanted a solo scene to wave at her fans. B, you're lucky he wasn't in Florida. I thought he'd be gone the second she was in jail.

He would be in Florida. Now, I don't know what the policies are of picking someone up at jail, but I know the jail has very strict rules about every single thing. And so I would not be surprised if the policy was that one person could pick you up out of the jailhouse. And she's like, I want that to be my stylist. I choose blue eyes. I choose blue eyes. I drew blue eyes.

Actually, there probably is a limitation of how many people it can be. So you needed someone there to mic her up. You needed someone there to style her. That was it. She was like, well, unfortunately, Ray, you are not going to help me be TV ready. So you'll have to stay home and wait for me. I'll see you soon. Keep the window open.

Yeah. So she has her hair and braids. And she tells them that the girls in jail were so sweet to her. And they didn't want her to leave without hair. So they all took part of their own hair, their own extensions, and put it on her, which is so sweet. It's like community, I don't know. It's like, it's like a can drive. It's like a can drive, but hair.

Anyone who likes Karen, just leave some hair in a box. We'll braid it onto her head. Well, it's like, when I see Chicago, I'm like, I know jails aren't really like that. But then when Karen tells that story, I'm like, are the jails like that? Were they all doing like the tango in there and being like giving you like, he has a lock of hair, lock of hair for your man? Like I just imagine it was a part of a big musical number that just never made it into the actual. Yeah, it's female jails, women, you know, it's because it's fucking women. Thank God. You know, thank God for women. And people always wonder why gay guys only want to hang out with women. This is why, okay? This is why, because women know how to take care of each other. Look at all the women we've seen to go to jail, not only on Bravo, but in the past decade. Look at, we've seen a lot, right? They come out happy. They all come out like I have, they have great stories. They've got friends. Martha Stewart had ponchos. Teresa learned.

yoga or some shit. I mean, they all know, they all have great stories. The guys come out, not knowing when they're farting anymore and being traumatized. That's how the guys go. I want to go to girls. And look at all these wealthy women who come out happy from jail. Well, that's true. But I mean, it's, it's, well, I'm trying to think of someone not healthy. No, I agree. I have to imagine, I have to imagine based on gross generalizations and stereotypes that like women in jail, like there's, it's probably rough and tumble. But all. Also, like, there's probably a level of nurturing that, that, you know, us manner, it's just for the man is to be like butt fucking. It's like here. It's just straight up, knock out your teeth. Before you leave, let's butt fuck one more time. It's like knock out your teeth to make my, to make my sex smoother. Just be done with them, you know?

But yeah, and women take care of each other. And yeah, and not to disregard the privilege it goes into that, obviously. But, yeah. Well, but I mean, Carol's actually not. She was not a camp cupcake or anything like that. Like she was doing real time. Yeah. She was in Canada.

But I do agree. I think, I mean, let's be honest, women are better than men at all times, right? Like, we acknowledge that, right? We acknowledge and we understand it and we accept it. But Karen's like, yes, they put the braids in. It's just so beautiful. It's so beautiful now.

Give me about 35 minutes while I go tear these things out and get a shower. Karen, trying so hard to say how beautiful it is while in her mind. And she's like, I have other women's hair in my head right now. Please let me erase this experience. I am ready to put an end to it. Thank you. I'm going to go soak and disinfectant. I'll be back.

So she goes up and the soaks. And then, oh, and she's telling Ray, oh, Ray, we finally got to date again in prison. Just me and Ray. Which, I don't know. I think she's got like the Lisa Barlow amount that she listens to Ray. where does, like, force her to not be on a phone or, you know, scrolling or, you know, drunk and had to, like, just sit there and, like, stare at Ray across the glass, you know? And Ray is like, well, you look great. I'm welcome home.

By the way, we got you a little balloon and some flowers. Oh, thanks, Ray, for the little balloon. Could you maybe have gotten, like, a lobster? I mean, at least something. We know she liked legal seafood. At least get some, like, clams or something. Like, I think you could do more than a little balloon, Ray. I felt so too.

I thought it was kind of a lame gift. I mean, you know, it's not like you're supposed to be rewarded coming out of jail, but I mean, something, you know, I mean, you get your teeth pulled and you get a fucking frosty at least. I mean, something. Get a big balloon. Something. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Raven's like, Mom, before I do my social studies homework, I want to point out that dad prints out his font.

You know, his favorite font. That one. And they just show the thing again. It's like, welcome home, all caps, aerial font. Yeah. And she's like, well, Ray still has inkjet. That's good to know. Ray, wow, me and Ray, dating again.

Me and Ray. It was fun watching you try to do Morse code on the window. I remember just having to say, Ray, it's a phone. It's a cell phone. Well, I hadn't seen one like that in so long. What do you mean? We still have one like that in our kitchen, Ray. I just remember season one ragging on everything in Karen and Ray's house because it was all the old-fashioned version, like the fax machines.

And what was the other thing? It was like corded phones and guitar assistants. It was actually a laser disc player. Yeah. Okay. So Andy comes over, which is big for Andy to come all the way to Potomac and draw. No. Yeah.

So he comes and he doesn't look thrilled. He's like, hey, Karen. I have children. So let's get this over with. All right. Yeah. So he walks in and he says hi to everyone. I was like, Ray, how are you?

Wow. Let me lay eyes of my friends. So Karen makes her like, she's all that and turns down the staircase. Like I was expecting to hear the kiss me. And she doesn't have the sunglasses. She doesn't have the glasses anymore in the braids. She's like pretty. And so, sorry, not to say that Brades McEan pretty,

I'm just saying like she's glamify that. I know, I know that sounded so wrong. I apologize. But she's all glammed up and everything. She comes down and she's like, whoa, wow, good to see you're home. You are home right now. Wow, this is your home, right?

Are you renting it? Well, don't make me cry on it. Don't make me cry. Did my face for you a little bit? We're just, all the ladies in the jail gave me one eyelash. And I've stuck them into my eyes right now. So when you look at me, you're looking at a sisterhood.

Sisterhood eyelashes, Andy. Have a seed. I've set it all up for us. Before they go in the living room, though, they go into the dining room, and Karen's son is there. And Karen's son is like a good-looking guy. And Andy's like, hey, whoa, who is that? Whoa, why have you been dining from our cameras? Whoa, get over here.

So it was it like when your mama's gone? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Did you have to do a lot of push-ups? Hey, how's you been working out a lot? Let's see your progress. Okay, you want to go off that shirt right now? Okay. All right.

Well, it looks like our time is done here. Karen, great interviews. Wow. Karen left for county jail and she came back to Bonertown. Oh, wow. Yeah, he was just like, Andy could not stop staring at Karen's son. It was so funny. Yeah, so he's there.

And Andy's like, why do you want to be on TV? He's like, because you ruin lives. Thanks. Thanks for asking. Would you like? Would you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't have anything to offer you. Would you like to eat this piece of paper with 20, 20 font on it? Please.

Make yourself out. So we get started with this interview. I mean, I think for the most part, without getting too granular, I didn't really know what to expect. And by that, I mean, of course I knew exactly what to expect. She gave a little bit more than I thought she would. I figured Karen would just show up with zero accountability at all. You can tell she's been told like Karen, you've got to. take some accountability. There's no escaping this. And she's very much like, here I am, me, Karen Huga, ready to take accountability, whatever this. Okay, fine. Let's do this. Am I an alcoholic? Of course not. Of course I'm not an alcoholic. I have a disease called addiction to pills that are prescribed only by a doctor for happiness, Andy, because you know I've gone through trauma. I've gone through trauma, Andy.

That's a bad start. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I was okay with it. Like, I thought that she was fairly accountable. I mean, look, we've seen Karen on the air for like 10 years. And this is a woman who's never been even close to accountable for anything she's ever done. Right. It's always a very slippery answer for everything.

So she was, I think, being pretty upfront and acknowledging things that like in her last season, she was literally not even able to address without having some sort of meltdown. So the fact that she was, what I mean is that she, you know, the way that she worded it, you know, and the way, the way that she worded like it's not really alcoholism. I don't call it that. I call it. You know, she's trying to say it's like the pills, which were Prozac and stuff like that. They were antidepressants, which can, you know, I did some research on it. People can abuse those, but generally they don't. I mean, generally you abuse, you abuse alcohol and drugs. I mean, prescription. drug, sure, but not like Prozac type things. But it has been done. But the fact that she is like holding on to that because she doesn't want to say she's an alcoholic. And I kind of understand that. You know, it's kind of the Shannon Badoor thing of not really wanting to say you're an alcoholic because you are in a world where everybody's drinking. And once you say you're an alcoholic, that's it. I mean, you're, unless you're Craig Conover, right, which case you can do whatever you want.

But generally, you say you're an alcoholic and that's it. So I was a little worried at the beginning of this that she was going to start scurge. wording around and using language that not only kind of gives her an excuse because she was like, well, I had to take the antidepressants because my parents died. And I had to take the, you know, and then I had to take the, she's using like real stuff and kind of still using that as an excuse. In other words, is what it kind of sounded like at first. Yeah, I didn't really, I have to say it, it didn't really bother me. I didn't even mind that she didn't want to say that she was an alcoholic because I do actually think that when you're a public figure on these shows, you,

have to like give yourself some wiggle room in case in case like you do like go the luan route which is like yes i had a problem with alcohol i've figured out how to drink you know in in moderation without like being a danger etc um and so she doesn't want to close off any avenues but also like karen is the master of like the rebrand she won't even call herself 60 it's her it's her it's her triple 20, you know, like, her triple 30. It's almost like, I would expect nothing less of Karen Huger than to come up with like,

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm just someone who deals with alcohol and likes to lick things. So I'm an alcohol licker, but not an alcohol. You know, it's like, it's like that kind of thing. Like, I expect that from her. So, and I don't know, to me,

you know, based on the trauma in her life, it's serious trauma. So it's like, to me it makes sense. If, like, her storyline to me, or how she described how she got to where she was from point A to point B from when she was 19 to now, you know, make sense to me. And I understand it. And it seems like she was being, for me, I felt very satisfied, not that it's up to me to be satisfied or not satisfied with her explanation of how she got to this point. Mm-hmm. Okay. So she starts going on about basically it's a lot of questions about alcoholism and stuff like that. She does say that Andy plays her clip. of the girls at the reunion, Ashley being like, well, I was on the train here.

I forget how hamfist or how ham hampered Ashley is with her housewifery. But when she's like, well, I was on a train coming up here, Andy. And let me tell you, I sat by this guy and we talked about me being on the show. And then he said, oh, I know that woman. She used to get drunk at this legal seafood every day. And I would wait on her. Oh, wow. Well, what a coincidence.

that Ashley just happened to be on a train with this guy. He remembers Karen from, you know, 40 years ago or whatever. And so Karen confirms it. Karen confirms it. She says Ashley is correct. You know, I was drunk all the time at the legal seafood, but it was 20 years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that gossipy waiter. It's just holding on to that on a train. Like he just remembered it 20 years later. Like, oh, yeah, I remember her. It's just such a funny place to just get drunk out every day. like legal seafood. What a delicious what a delicious

manifestation of your struggles is that you're like, well, I get drunk every day, but I also have a wonderful bowl of clams. I get illegally drunk

at the legal seafood. Also like Andy's just like holding up this laptop. He's like, ha, ha, you know, it's still so messy as always.

And then I don't know if anyone else felt this way, but when he was done showing the clips, he like put the laptop on the ground by his chair and like it was there for like several cutaway shops. I was like, is someone going to strike this laptop?

When are we going to get rid of this laptop? And then you showed some more clips and then someone took it away. But I was honestly a bit distracted by the laptop on the floor. There was some talk about the body camp footage, which became viral when Karen was arrested because this was when she was like, I'm not drinking. And they're kind of saying that there's someone else. Like, I wasn't even driving. And they're like, what?

Well, if you weren't driving and then Ashley brings that up, you know, well, she's I heard someone else was in the car. And Karen insists that nobody else was in the car. This footage was cray-cra. We talked about it when it first came out. It was nuts. I mean, I'm Thomas. Do you know who I am?

Thomas Jefferson's concubine, you know, just completely cring, completely unhinged. Now, where it got crazier, you know, because we've all seen that, I'm sure. But she's like, well, I didn't even watch that film. And I didn't allow Ray to watch it. And listen, trust me, Ray does what I tell him. He's wanted to see Moana for years. I won't let him do it. She's just so cute.

But, you know, I didn't have input for my husband, and I didn't know, I couldn't relate to what my lawyers were telling me, because I just knew I was in a video that went viral, and I said, let's just look at the positive, boys. So that's why I didn't take the plea deal, which is crazy. Yeah. And I don't know that I believe that. I mean, really, no one watched that.

Karen, everybody watched that video. I'm sorry. I don't believe for one second that Karen did not watch it and that Ray did not watch it, and that the lawyers didn't make them watch it. And the lawyers, even if she didn't watch it, the lawyers didn't say, yeah, you called yourself Thomas Jefferson's concubine and literally said, I'm lit as you got out of the car. You need to take a plea deal.

Someone told her. I fully believe that she did not watch it. I don't think Karen, like, Karen facing reality has never been one of her strong suits. She's never been able to, you know, really, really. really see herself in the mirror, it seems. I mean, she always has some sort of, you know, slippery story about why X, Y, and Z happens. So I fully can understand.

And I fully believe that she would not have seen. I think if she had seen that video, I think she would have acted very differently on the last season. But I think she was just like, whatever, it's, I don't want to see myself drunk. I know I was drunk. What do I have to see? You know, I'll just fight this.

but I do believe her lawyers watched it. And I bet they were banging their head against the wall. I mean, yeah, and look, I, I, you know, disagree. But I will agree with you on one thing. And that is the Karen delusion. I think she watched it because there's no way that Karen is not going to watch herself on a viral video. Sorry, there's just no way that she's going to be like, I'm getting millions of views and I'm all over the news.

I'm not going to watch myself. I don't believe it. But I think that she probably did watch it and was like, what's so bad? Whatever. That's not so bad. You know, I'm like, I look great. Oh, it was funny. It went viral. I'm a star. They'll never, there's no way with everything going on in the world, there's worse things happening. This was nothing. I'll get off.

So I do think, I mean, I do agree with the delusion. I just, I just have a hard time believing that she. You think that like, who knows? Who knows the truth? We're not there. You think, so basically where we stand is that you feel like her narcissism was strong enough that she, of course, watched the video. I felt like her delusion outranked her narcissism where she couldn't even still watch it. So that's basically. No, I think, yeah, I think her narcissism made her watch it, but her delusion made her think it that it was going to be okay. Because like if you think about it, these ladies are sloppy all the time, you know, on these

shows and they're shocked when, I mean, Dorenda was shocked when she was, you know, exercised from Real House West of New York for being so vilely bitter and drunk. It's like, you guys have been praising me for years for being bitter and drunk. and now you're going to kick me off for it. Like, how does this make any sense? And it's because it just went too far. And I think that there's a, there's a disconnect there. It's like, well, you, this has always been entertaining to people and now is too much.

Like, what the hell? Yeah. She also talks about how her relationship with Ray is, you know, a constant work in progress, aka not good. And he had told her at one point, like, look, as you work on yourself, if you realize that you need to, leave me and that's that's okay i give you my blessing just give me a heads up because um tickets are to florida are really expensive and then the sooner i can get ahead of that uh more months i advance i know before i can move to florida just just let me know karen okay but if you

want to leave it's okay it's okay you can leave and she says that the day that she was drinking it's you know she was just trying to get away because she says that like we were going to What? I was unhappy. The kids were gone. The house was a tomb. Just dead fax machines everywhere. Very sad. Needed to get away. Needed a drinky boo. Can't think of all those old technologies that just clutter our living room. Yeah. She talks about how 20 years ago, you know, her kids felt that there was a problem. And she got her first DUI. And she goes through everything that she was, you know, having trouble with. And that she went to the doctor. And her kids thought, she had a problem, but the doctor was like, oh, no, you're fine. Here, just take these pills. And she won't name the pills because she doesn't want to get sued by Big Pharma. But she says it was an antidepressant.

And he's just like, you can't say what it was? Nope, Benzos, no, can't say. Do you have any right now? They sound great. Do you have any in your purse still? So he's like, you know, when you said at the time you were under the influence, how did that manifest itself? Like, how much were you drinking?

And she's like, oh, well, it's not so much that I was drinking, Andy. It was the pills. It was the pills that the doctor gave me. So there's like a hint of skirting here still. And he's like, well, you're saying that, you know, you're talking about alcoholism, but you're also saying that the drink wasn't calling you. And she's like, well, it didn't call me that night. What I'm saying is I was running from home.

So she talks about all that stuff, as you said. And then he says, well, you did it four times. I mean, this was your fourth DUI. And she's like, well, let's talk about that. Why, I drank. I drank in the past and I drove. And I had a DUI, two DUIs, not four. Okay, let's be clear.

Very, very clear. Two of the times I was drinking and driving and two of the times I had a drinking and driving under the influence. Very different, Andy. They're very, very different. two DUIs and two DWIs, very different letters, okay? I was wondering if that's what she meant, because it used to be DWI, right? And then they changed it to DUI. So I'm wondering if she was just using that as being like, no, no, there were no two DUIs.

There are two DUIs and two DWIs. No, what you're, here's the thing. There's two DUIs, but unfortunately I was so DUI that the two DUIs look like four DUIs, but it's really just two. But, um, uh, I was just so drunk that I saw two was four. But yeah, she basically,

she says, um, that yeah, like she, she, it sounds like what she's, she's, Andy clocks her a bit for saying,

she's constantly talking about going to N.A. and pills, whatever. And he's like, it doesn't seem like you're really talking about the alcoholism very much or having a trouble, a struggle with, with alcohol.

And she's like, She's saying, no, I do, I do, I do. But NAA is really like where I'm focusing and it was the pills that really did it. She's really kind of emphasizing the pills more than the booze, which in my mind, the way I read it is like, if you see me drinking on future seasons, don't come at me. Okay, because it was the pills that was the issue. That's what I think she's trying to do. And it took her pretty much the whole hour to get to the, okay, well, fine. It's a lifelong problem with alcohol.

It's a disease and I'll never drink again. And like it really took her a long time to get to that point because she was trying to skirt, you know, all of this. And be like, no, no, N.A is my thing. N.A is my thing. Not A.A. And so she was like, you know, I just wanted to go in there and lead the classes. And she said, I actually led the NA class and the A class. And he's like, oh, forgive me, but you're in there for a D.E.Y.

Like, why the fuck would you be leading the class, basically? And she was like, well, you know, because before I was sentenced, I got the treatment. And, you know, I'm a quick learner, so I just took that and I took it and I helped the children. I helped the children in jail, Andy. And I talked about Potomac etiquette as well, you know, as long as I was there. Why not? It is difficult to believe a thing that Karen says. I'm sorry.

I'm like, what? You were leading, I, what? Come on. Well, tell me about your first night in jail. That's got to been pretty scary before you learned you could teach classes about things you nominally knew about. Yes, well, Andy, it was very scary. I had a metal toilet. Flandon was thinking to myself, how many people have sat on this thing?

So there were young women who were going through menstruation, and I said, oh, I'm going through menstruation issues. Please, please help me. And they basically gave her, like, maxi pads or something. And she lined her toilet with maxi pads, and that's how she made her little throne. She said she would take, like, eight or nine maxi pads to line the toilet with. How clogged up was that toilet?

You know there's not strong flushes in jail. I wonder how many times she clogged up that. toilet. I know. I mean, also like she'd have to like it's a lot of maxi pads you have to go through to to keep that fresh, keep that thrown fresh. And he was like, let's talk about your home coming a little bit. There are a lot of talk about your outfit that you wore when you were released because this is what matters the most. How did you look? So how did you decide what you were going to wear? Did Ray bring that to you? Did Raven bring it to you? Who brought that. Did a deer bring it to you? What's going on with that? Let me be very clear. I had jail

clothes on. I was in a jumpsuit. You did? Oh my God. Yes. It was beige. And I may not wear beige for a good while. No, I'm traumatized by beige. He's like, you're in beige right now. And sure enough, she was wearing a beige outfit. She goes, no, this is not beige. This is blush. Please, I will never wear beige again. It was a cute jumpsuit, but, you know, Tatiana came by and she brought me clothes, large jeans and a little do-rag and I skedaddle on. And he's like, okay, well, so what do you miss the most about prison? Hmm, let's see. Um, well, oh, I'm sorry, the what did I miss the most while I was in prison?

Is that what you meant to ask, Andy? Yes, I'm sure. I'm sure. He's like, tell me, what was the best part of prison? Yeah. And she's like, well, I miss holding Raven's hand. I took a picture of Raven's hand and all that. And, you know, she stripped down.

She saw her, she saw grays. She's like, you may see me with white hair soon. I'm like, Karen, I hate to break it to you. But you did do the platinum blonde wig thing for a whole season. So she's like, you'll see my hair in a color you've never seen before. White. And so she talks about seeing her hair, her hair gray and stuff like that. and she was basically,

where was, I don't know where it is in here, it's a lot of, it's a lot of interview. But there was one point where, hold on what was I going to say. It was very important. It was very important and I'm losing it

because I'm seeing all these. No, you go, you go talk about the breakfast. No, I was just, I wasn't sure I just was throwing that out there because she had to wake up at 4.30 and have breakfast at five and then in bed by nine, et cetera.

It just sounds awful to me. She, they served her crab meat and chicken, but she wouldn't eat the dead. Bud, just the crab meat. I was like, they serve crab in jail. I know. I thought that too. I was like, wait a minute.

She's like, it was terrible. Crab, lobster, Beny's. Eggs Benedict, I mean, Andy, terrible. Damn, but I was going to, I remembered it, and then I forgot. Talk about alcoholism. It's about raven. Oh, it was about when Andy was like, so wasn't it rough? Were you and Jen Pop?

And she's like, oh, well, let me tell you. They were trying their best to give me celebrity treatment, Andy. They wanted to put me in the tower, the highest tower where the celebrities go in County. And I said, no, I will go to general population. I insist on going to general population to help the youth. It's like, okay, okay. So you requested to be in general population? I'm sure.

And then she told, she was telling the girls, because she was trying to help the younger girls in there. And she was saying things like, which me, Karen Hugo. Now, literally, it took me three decades to get to this point. What are you doing here, 20? I was like, I don't know that that's coming off the same way, you know. You know, I'm like a five-wick candle. They're a single wick. And I said, you got to earn wicks to lose wicks.

You know what I'm saying? And they were just sort of look at me in the face. And they said, are you still drunk somehow? And I said, yes, I am. Drunk off of crab booze. I've got a crab moonshine operation going on. Just put that grab meat through the maxi pad and see what comes out and fermented. And next thing you know,

you got that hooch. I learned how to make moonshine, Andy. That's correct. Out of maxi pads and gumption. All right. Well, I think that might signal that we are done here. Can your hot zone come out one last time? No.

Yes. I've got dollar bills in my hand. Get over here. But yeah, it's basically, you know, she is ready to go to the reunion. She's ready to face questions. There's some drama with Wendy because, you know, Andy was saying, well, you know,

Wendy was upset that you didn't say anything to her. You didn't thank her in your speech at the reunion where you think literally everybody, even the craft services people, you thanked everybody except Wendy. And she said, Wendy knows why I didn't thank her. That's a conversation for me and Wendy. yes that's right she knows what she did I forgive you and I want to forget you I'm on the hills now

so yeah that was it it was it was an interesting hour and I'm excited for Karen to come back and it'll be so interesting to see how Karen now steps into this cast after this past season of dynamics and shifting but it'll be great

and so and I'm sure she'll have some words. That's always a thing on these shows. When people stop drinking, it's like, uh-oh, you know, what's this version going to be like? Because it is a different version. And I don't think Karen was really known as being like a drunk, like I don't think her reputation on the show was like,

oh, there's drunk Karen, you know, so it probably won't be that different. But that was definitely there for sure. It was there. That was an element and going into life sober, like to anybody who's ever done it, you know, God bless you. I go into life semi-sober. Like I stopped

a lot. I stopped drugs, so that was good. And then I stopped drinking for the most part. Like, I'll still have a drink every once in a while. But I'm not like getting hammered all the time like I was. And thank God I was able to do that. But it's very different. You know, you walk into your life. Your friends don't really know how to deal with you. Everyone takes it very personally if you don't have a drink when you're out with friends. And they're like, why aren't you drinking? Why are you an alcohol? What's a problem? It's still an issue to this day. And it's hard. It's going to be a rough road to hoe. So I'm interested to see how She handles all that. Yes. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So with that being said, let's shift on down the schedule into Married to Medicine, where I don't know if you read the news today, Ronnie, but we have some tragic, tragic developments in the world of Maritime to Medicine.

Did you hear about this? No, what happened? Quad and King. They are done. They are breaking up. Oh, wow. They're broken up. It was confirmed when he wrote on someone's Instagram.

Yep, I left that situation. So, yeah, another one bites the dust. Sorry, King. Wow. Well, I liked him. I liked him okay. He did show a lot of red flags. But, you know, I can't say I'm terribly broken up about that one.

Although I do like seeing quad happy, but was she? Yeah. Makes me sad for quad, but it makes me happy because I think we both knew on some level that King was not the one for her. So that was the big goss that dropped today. But for Maritime Medicine, though, we are still in the Florida Panhandle at Miramar Beach for the girls' trip. And Heavenly has arrived with everyone. And Simone is, of course, very upset that Heavenly is there. So Jackie sits down with Simone and says,

Simone, can I validate your feelings? I'm like, are we in a parking garage? Are you trying to insert her feelings into a machine and pay 250? Now, you don't have to get your feelings validated. But if you bring them to me at a later date, it will cost you $20, which is the full day maximum. I'm just concerned because you have been here for more than four hours. and it will start to add up.

Now tell me, did your feelings buy anything in the gift shop? Anything at all? Bottle of water. I did buy something at the snack bar. Oh, well, unfortunately, only the gift shop validates, so I cannot validate your feelings right now. I do not need validation for my feelings.

She goes, I understand. I understand, Simone. And she's like, just say what you want, Jackie. And she's like, well, I understand, but, you know, I just want you to hear me right now. I want you to hear what my glasses are saying to you. And that is, ah, do you understand?

I think so. I think what I've heard from your glasses is that at first you're going to be the most amazing friend, but if I stick around too long, you're only going to be kind of okay. And think about it, Jackie. Think about it. And it's a commentary on your song and what it's related to. I get it.

I'd like you to hold space for the lyrics of defying gravity. Thank you. Now, I do want you in Heavenly to hear each other so that you can find out the why. Because I have two ways and not to talk to Heavenly about it either because I want to hear it. You know where I want to hear. The why. The why is smart. And Contessa is like, oh my God, what in the Heavenly Times is going on here?

I called you Heavenly. And she's like, Hey, what's coming on? You didn't even know it was my man's birthday. You didn't even know. How could you not know it was Daddy's birthday? It's on everybody's calendar. Didn't pop up on your calendar.

Come on, girl. It was my man's birthday night. Everyone knows it's a daddy's birthday. It was a daddy's birthday. Happy birthday to Daddy. Oh, Daddy. That's what I had to do. So, Contest is like, wow, Simone is not happy about her being here.

I mean, what am I supposed to do as a host? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy. buy balloons and then hand everybody really sharp things and have them dis each other and then explode balloons in each other's faces. Surely this will calm everybody down. That'll be great. So Heavenly is like, I just feel like I need a breaker or breather because there's a lot of going on on Angel's party. And it's just like, well, are you here? Are you just popping in? It's like, oh, I'm you. So Jackie's like, there is nothing right about it. But I still think that both of you

who have been friends on and off need to at least hear the other person. Well, it's just hard to hear. It's not hard. You can do it. Do it for good. Jackie, I will not acknowledge the second part of that franchise. But the giraffes can talk.

I don't know if I understand that. To pretend heaven is a giraffe. Talk to her. Talk to her deeply. And Jackie's like, well, what I'm not going to do is say, Simone, you're right, Heavenly, you're right. You know, somebody is going to have an opinion, you know, and Heavenly is obnoxious, but I know her heart. And Simone's like, oh, my God, I don't know, you know, if I talk to her, I'll say, I don't know what is going on in your life that you think it's okay to talk to me this way.

She goes, that is exactly what you need to say to Heavenly. You're just a girl, a girl in a bubble. Damn it, Jackie. Congratulations. you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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