Watch What Crappens - #320: LuAnn Buries Her Head In The Sandbar

Episode Date: August 18, 2016

It's all about sandbars and chicken on this episode of "Watch What Crappens." On RHONY, the women are divided over a jaunt to Miami's Sandbar. It nearly overshadows Bethenny's big confrontation with Lu about Tom's photos. Then there's Real Housewives of Melbourne, which sees the fallout of Petitfleur's rejection of Gamble's wedding invite. Also, Janet's step-daughter, Chicken. We love Chicken. Awwww, Chicken. 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:40 - Crappens Mailbag 00:23:40 - Real Housewives of New York 01:21:36 - Real Housewives of Melbourne Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What happens? What happens?

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap that we just love to watch on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me, as always, is the hilarious and wonderful and just perfectly excellent Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com and the Rose Pricks podcast, which is all about The Bachelor, and Big Brother's mother podcast. Hey, Ronnie. Ben, you're my vision board.

Oh, you're my vision of love. Or as they would call it, a vision of love. Oh, yeah, we're doing this at night, so watch out. Yeah, it's going to be loopy tonight. It's Wednesday night. Ronnie is going on a road trip tomorrow, so we're recording extra early.

And you know when we do our late night podcasts, a.k.a. it's 8.48 p.m. It's late night in Brazil. I'm sorry. I'm on Olympic time. Things get crazy. I'm back on coffee. I've got a nice big coffee.

Ready to go. I'm feeling loopy. Today is my 16-year anniversary of, oh, 15-year anniversary of moving to Los Angeles. Can you believe that? 15 years today. Whoa, that's so cute that you wrote that down somewhere. Well, I just remembered. I just remembered.

Ben, happy anniversary. I mean, I remembered earlier today, but thank you. I celebrated by getting a cookie at Starbucks. I went to get a cookie alone, just like I did when I first moved to Los Angeles. I remember that first night. So what happened was my dad flew out here with me because I got a job on this sitcom called Andy Richter Controls the Universe, which you may remember. It was on Fox. I got a job as a PA, and I got like six days notice.

So I didn't have time to drive across the country or whatever. So my dad flew me across the country and we stayed overnight in century city and then the next day drove him to the airport and then i was like alone in los angeles and it was crazy and my cousin lived here and so i went and i moved in with her i sort of crashed on her on her couch for two weeks but that very first night i like did my own thing and i remember going to the johnny rockets on los angeles and uh being like i can't believe i'm in los angeles i can't believe i'm living in los angeles i'm here alone i mean my cousin's here but i'm like alone at a johnny rockets and i was sitting outside because the johnny at the Beverly Connection.

There used to be one right out front there. And I feel like Johnny Rockets is the saddest place to be alone ever. It is. And it was like there were a lot of things going on because I'd never been to a Johnny Rockets nor heard of one. So I was just taking in Johnny Rockets on its own was enough. But the fact that I was in Los Angeles and I remember looking at cars going by and thinking that there just can be celebrities everywhere and i remember a car drove by and i was convinced it was michelle pfeiffer and i like made a mental note i was like i think michelle pfeiffer just drove by me on my very first night in los angeles meanwhile

she was like a nissan you know but i was convinced you had such a positive beginning here. I drove here across, well, half country with Rhonda. That was fun. Oh, my God. That's my mother for anybody who's new to this. This was my first night in L.A. Fuck this place. Fuck these people.

This place is disgusting. Why does the sky look like that? Jesus, we might as well still be in El Paso. Who names a grocery store Ralph's? That's like the nerdiest kid in school. Who wants to shop there? This salad bar sucks. Who's Ralph?

I want to call him. What's his number? Oh, God. Welcome to L.A. Then she's like, hey,'s michelle pfeiffer driving by why is she driving a nissan michelle pfeiffer is the guardian she's like the jenna elfman and can't hardly wait she's just that angel that comes by for all if you're new to la michelle pfeiffer drives by how dare

you put michelle pfeiffer in the same sentence as Jenna Elfman. And yet, while we talk about how ridiculous of an idea that Michelle Pfeiffer would just go driving by, today I was in my car waiting to gain access to a place. I was waiting in line in my car. And who should come by and graze my passenger side mirror with his arm as he walked by? It was none other than Woody Harrelson. Sue, you should have sued him. Who does that? I was so excited.

I was like, this is what I love about LA. 15 years later, I'm still like, oh my god, Woody Harrelson just grazed my mirror. Does Woody Harrelson, is he all like craggly and crazy and meth-y looking? Does he talk to himself a lot? Does he eat Captain Crunch, is he all like Cragly and crazy and meth-y looking Does he talk to himself a lot Does he eat Captain Crunchberries as he walks Like I imagine him eating Captain Crunchberries

Out the box talking to himself While he walks past mirrors He had a beautiful tan He looked like Woody Harrelson He honestly looked really good You know for Woody Harrelson He looked exactly like you'd expect Woody Harrelson In the best way I was going to say well that is what i would expect him to look

like just all craggly and like captain grunge berries yeah he seems crazy to me in a good way like he seems like he always have coke but you'll have to like sit there and listen to his stories for five hours first you'll be like you weren't even in vietnam woody why are we talking about this this is my fault the beginning of the show it's my fault You weren't even in Vietnam, Woody. Why are we talking about this? This is my fault. We haven't even done the beginning of the show. It's my fault. Everyone, if you're new to this podcast, apologies.

I just inserted a whole lot of anecdotes into this. But you know who we're not apologizing to? Our super premium amazing woman of a sponsor, Miss Madonna Hines, Madge with a J. You know whose birthday it is today? Whose? Miss Madonna Hines. Madge with a J. You know whose birthday it is today? Whose? Miss Madonna with no last name.

Oh my god, Madge the Vag. Happy birthday, Madonna. I shouldn't say real Madge. I should say real famous Madge. The real Madge. Jesus is like, how dare you? This is my mother. Yeah, on Snapchat, there's a Madonna filter today for her birthday.

Okay, I'm crazy today, everyone. I'm crazy. Let's get on with it. So everyone, welcome to the podcast. Actually, sorry, Madonna's birthday was yesterday. Apologies. So if you want to join in on this conversation, if you want to see the brand new photo we just put up on the Facebook page, go to facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens.

If you want to check out our social media, follow us on Instagram or Twitter, go to watchwhatcrappens.com to get all those links. If you want to support the podcast, you get a very special shout out just like Madonna, the non-singer Madonna. Then go to patreon.com forward slash watch what crappens. You also get access to a bonus episode by supporting us, and at different tiers, you get access to monthly hangouts, ringtones, and you can submit things to the crappens mailbag, which you're going to be hearing from in just a few seconds.

Also, we have... Let me take a sip of the coffee here. We have a show on TuneIn Premium, which you probably already heard the ad for. And we are doing a live show in LA, September 25th. It's part of the LA PodFest. Go to lapodfest.com to find out how you can get tickets.

And if you can't be in LA, you can stream the thing and use the promo code CRAPPINS to get a few dollars off of that. And there's like a shit ton of other great podcasts in that. So it's not just us that you'd be watching. So don't y'all worry. It's a good value. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's all. Anyway, is that Michelle Pfeiffer? Okay. It's my mom outside your window waiting for a hamburger delivery so she can berate MJ across the street. I would love a hamburger delivery right now. But instead, we'll just get a delivery mail. I got a burger the other day.

Okay, yeah. Mailbag. Mailbag. Had a transition there, Ronnie. Mailbag. Fatburger. Fatburger. I had a transition there, Ronnie. Yeah, but... Fatburger. Fatburger. Fatburger sounds good. I actually made myself a chicken curry tonight

from the Made in India cookbook that I love and talk about all the time. I would say that I was just at Target and I saw that stupid model's cookbook that you said looked so good and I'm not going to say that because it will totally derail us. And I won't even talk about how her creamy mushroom soup is not creamy at all. And only a model would call that creamy mushroom soup. Okay, you dumb hooker. Hey, I have to stand up for this unnamed model because I heard from a very reliable,

very close source in my life that she's actually awesome. So I'm going to defend her. I'm sure she is. But guess what? So is cream of mushroom soup soup and it has actual cream in it okay tegan are you talking about tegan and sarah the pop group of course you are okay let's go into the let's go into this mailbag because we're a disaster already okay let's start with benjamin cohen aka ben ben ben um he says i've noticed that the house wives have quite a few idiosyncrasies well look at you noticing that uh sorry that sounded really mean it wasn't wasn't meant to sound like that it's not what the hell sorry what the hell ben

ben you know sometimes things like come out with the wrong delivery and you're like whoa whoa that sounded so mean i'm not being snarky on you ben i'm sorry ben v ben it's a ben fight um so anyway let me start over i've noticed that the housewives have quite a few idiosyncrasies oh really ben oh really carol seriously seriously an alpha woman like vicky will start up with david bedore and then act offended that he would dare to talk to a woman that way in response convicted felon theresa judas claims she values family over anything but we've seen the scorn and disdain she has for her family members. Fellas.

What is your favorite Bravo idiosyncrasy? I would actually say that's more hypocrisy than idiosyncrasy because idiosyncrasy would be like, Hey, ever noticed the way that Teresa just like loves marinara sauce on cornflakes. That's an idiosyncrasy. This is just more just straight up hypocrisy i would say um well i would love to say tamra because she's my favorite hateful answer of every podcast question

but i haven't really seen her go that crazy yet i haven't really seen her betray i haven't seen her judas on jesus yet so i've got to hold that one so let me think about it um hypocrisy i mean they're all so i'm hypocritical you know i'm trying to think of the ones where i get where i'm where i enjoy it i mean i think luann is like enjoyable hypocrisy where she is just has this crazy um like free love and lifestyle and then yet is the countess at the same time i think that's great hypocrisy i think that's great tv yes i think all the best housewives are total hypocrites um and i think that my favorites are definitely the biggest hypocrites i'm currently just looking over my melbourne notes i mean, really everybody on that show. But my favorite is Gina because Gina will say things like, now, listen here, pity floor.

Here's how you can't talk to the girls. You can't take defensive and you can't say bad things to the girls. Don't talk about the girls to the girls. Cut to her being like, you stupid. Suck a dick. How about that? You want to suck a dick, girl girl i think that if we're going to talk about melbourne if we're talking about actual idiosyncrasies i love lydia's uh idiosyncratic

thing uh that she thinks everything is made for her and everyone's her daughter you know like they stock this mop at target just for me because I said I needed a mop. And now they do. Why the Target? The Lydia mop. Mr. Clean. That's what my husband calls me. And now they got a whole brand named after me.

How about that? Lydia. What else is in there, Bean? What else is in there? And by the way, if i think of other hypocrisies idiosyncrasies i'll be sure to let you know yeah we'll answer that throughout the show because there's a lot of hypocritic biatches coming up in the next couple hours theresa marovitch she's always up for a good time with tamra being the new voice of reason at any time during your show, please start a random.

And then Tamara walks in, but like not on an OC scene, just other shows like Brandon getting out of jail, et cetera. Much love. P.S. What time, what date and time are you scheduled for the LA pod fest?

It's going to be Sunday. And I believe we're going to be at 7. PM Sunday, the LA pod fest. We will. Yeah. September 25th. Yeah. And I would love to play a good game of

And Then Tamara Walked In. That'll be especially good for Real Housewives of New York this week. They could use a little bit of her. And I believe that when Teresa says, like, Brandon getting out of jail, I think that's Brandon Dassey from Making a Murderer. And I can only imagine Being stuck in jail For ten years and the first thing you see is

Tama Barney walking in With some life lessons Listen here, Batch I notice you've got fat in jail I'm taking that with a syringe and I'm putting it in my face, Batch Listen, Batch There's been so many WrestleM and I'm putting it in my face, Batch. Listen, Batch, there's been so many WrestleMania's you won't even believe it, Batch.

Hey, a lot of people have accused me of burning a Batch in the in a fire pit, Batch. But I know it wasn't me because the person you described had a belly button, Batch. Yeah. Yeah, Batch. Yeah. Yeah, Batch. I don't't know what don't you know batch

a conversation with his mom on the phone did your daughter didn't you tamra batch now that's not an answer did you or didn't you yes batch oh god no batch oh jeez seriously listen i was in a lot of pain at that time okay you could see it in my eyes like i was just so happy to be able to put my pain into someone else i couldn't help but help kill theresa halbach okay betch i get it betch damn bro okay tell me the story what happened well betch this fat guy was across the street and i was on what and then he was like what and then he started her on fire and then i was like tired of a bed but she was already bones and then we splashed blood on the wall but there wasn't blood on the

wall i'm hungry batch tamra would still be tamra would get away with anything she could have actually just confessed to the whole thing like yeah this bitch came over at the camera and I was like you're stupid I'm not selling my house bitch is behind the gates and then I slit her throat people would be like well but she's nice now so who cares here's the thing with Tamara you know she really we think that

like in the age of reality TV she really found her calling but the truth is her calling was being an unreliable witness in a high-profile murder case. Whether it was O.J. Simpson or Making a Murderer, her true calling would have been being on the stand and her

saying, like, yeah, I saw him kill. I saw him with the blood on his hands. I'll never forget that moment. Were you there? No. But my son was. And he related so vividly. So you were saying you weren't there no betch and then the entire case falls apart because she's a terrible witness that's my opinion that's my opinion that's my opinion johnny cochran

it should be the jury foreman be the jury find your betch betch that's my opinion we're just now doing tamra walks into every court case that game is done now hey betch don't piss up my leg and tell me it's raining betch

now she's the judge judge tamra hey betch i don't care if you're twins I'm not going to tell me it's raining, Batch. Now she's the judge. Judge Tamara. Hey, Batch, I don't care if you're twins. You're still hot, so you're innocent of killing your mom. I guess what you're not guilty of? Having a high body fat count. I mean, wow, good job, Batch.

Hey, Batch. I know you're only 16, but what the hell are you doing hanging out with that auto mechanic on Long Island anyway, Batch? Guilty. Oh, sorry. No, that's it. Guilty. She doesn't side with Amy Fisher. Hey, Batch,

I want Joey, but if you go for me. Oh, oh, God. All right, what else is in that bag? Whew. Hey bitch, I want Joey, but if you go for me Oh god Alright, what else is in that bag? Erica Page She asks Which lie is more believable? That Shannon didn't set Kelly up

Or that Heather was sobbing genuine tears What's more believable? I think that Heather was sobbing genuine tears there's just no way that Shannon did not set up Kelly it's just too much I can never believe that not for a second not even from Shannon my beloved

my beloved well Shannon you know you love Shannon like you love one of those monster truck shows where you just you know that truck's gonna just crush all over everything then act innocent after Shannon you a crazy bitch and I love you keep crushing little trucks

it's just a little crush don't mean anything good luck I like her I'm actually all for Shannon setting people up so I don't even care I can't even fault her for that because I think it's hilarious. And of course, like, what used to be believable?

What's more believable? Um, well, we saw Shannon on camera and being like, Nina and, um, other lady who spells her name funnily, come on over here, because it's time to completely

ruin this woman's life come on come over here leave your drink there leave it by the lava lamp isn't that amazing i know a lava lamp crazy like a pet rock okay pick up the pet rock and throw it at that slut's head okay it's like it's all on camera yeah yeah exactly and i believe that heathers tears were real i just think that the reason why she was stopping was not about the cursing i think it's all on camera. Yeah, exactly. And I believe that Heather's tears were real. I just think that the reason why she was sobbing was not about the cursing. I think it's that she was just very sad that she couldn't talk about her time on The Doctors. Didn't even get a chance to talk about being Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig at the Japanese restaurant. It's terrible.

Did anyone ask about my date? No, this is love. Yeah, I think in Heather's defense, she's had so much work done on her gerbil eyes that her tear ducts probably don't even exist anymore. So she probably was really crying phantom tears. It's like people who lose their leg in the war, but they still feel their leg twitching at night and stuff. Or maybe she's just sad that they never thought to install a sushi bar into their house. It's almost done and we thought to install a sushi bar into their house. It's almost done and we forgot to add a sushi bar.

At first I thought it wouldn't work with the pizza machine. Dairy! Dairy! What happens if Colette puts the sushi in the pizza oven? It's a disaster! Can't have that.

And then Tamara closed the mail bag. Bye, bitch! Thanks for the mail, bitch! What's a girl gotta do to get some mail around here, bitch? Bitch! Bitch! Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy. Lord-ay.

Lord-ay-day. Lordy, lordy, lordy. Lord Day. Lord Day Day. Thank God the Lord's not Beetlejuice because you just said his name enough times for him to come right here. I don't need him looking at me when we're about to talk about these bitches. Well, maybe Lord the Singer will arrive instead and be all moody

because that's what she does. She's a moody New Zealander. Moody Kiwi. I'm a moody Kiwi. Oh, did you see the... That's her new album. I'm a Moody Kiwi. By Lord.

We could be Moody. Moody like a Kiwi. Oh, Lord. You just said her name again oh she's gonna show up in the mirror taylor swift is all dancing to jesus's song at the emmys pretending to know the words she's like trying to mouth hallelujah over and over but doesn't even know what it means okay so let's get on to why do i have big brother open lord knows we don't need that yes she does i don't need that i'm a moody kiwi don't talk to me about big brother i'd actually love to have a big brother but I don't have one Which is why I'm so moody

I'm gonna put on some black lipstick now Oh bless her heart Alright so what do you want to do first Oh I was gonna say did you see the previews For Real Housewives of Auckland I did not actually I did not see that Those bitches low energy

Okay I don't know if anything is going to happen Later in the season but they showed a clip And it was like oh hello I'm Susie and I'll look to Sit on catches and drink wine Do any of you Have any fucking energy Just one of you someone's like hello

I'm Bridge I love makeup Are they all like Four feet tall and have giant feet and live in hills they're all my name is Suzy and I'm about to search for a ring come with me they have a dinner party at Mordor now before we try to pass into Mordor either thought I thought be really fun to have a dinner party right here at the gates of Mordor well I was it'd be really fun to have a dinner party right here at the gates of Mordor. Well, I was going to get remarried, but I didn't want to lose my title. After all, you're

not going to get much better husband than the Lord of the Rings. Am I right, ladies? You know, I don't know what sort of dinner party she thought she was going to throw. There was a giant spider hanging from the rooftops and came down and put us all in a big old cocoquine. But Carol could still be a good guest star. Just golem noises. I got

your ring. So Real Housewives of New York City. So New York. Wow. This show just cracks me up. Having it gone for two weeks made me appreciate it even more. It starts up where we left off in Miami. If in case you,

in case you forgot two weeks ago, the big cliffhanger is that Bethany revealed that, that she has a photo of Tom making out with some woman at the Regent. And so when we come back, revealed it to everybody, but she doesn't want to be talking about loot or behind luann's back okay exactly so just right even the very first like 10 seconds of the show i'm laughing because you hear bethany go he has not been faithful to her and ramona goes no no no it's like let me see the picture okay what hey what are the odds that i'm like here

to celebrate the you know one week engagement of the win and i get like a picture like seriously like i get a picture the same week that i'm supposed to be in my like what what what are the chances what are the chances huh yeah bethany yeah what are the chances, huh? Yeah, Bethany. Yeah. What are the chances? What are? Exactly. It's like clearly from a producer, right? So then Ramona's like, I'm flipping out. I'm flipping out now. Oh, my God. I'm flipping out. I need to see the pic.

Let's take a vote. Let's take a vote, okay? We need to have a vote, all right? Just calm down, Ramona. There's the picture. Ah! Ah! Ramona starts doing that squealing.

And then she runs into the hotel bathroom And stares at herself and goes Oh my god Look at me Look at me Look at my face Let's face it Let's face the face

Face my face right now This is crazy Look at my face you guys and bethan is like yes apparently they were kissing for like they're making up like an hour it went on for like an hour and ramona goes stupid stupid stupid honestly it's just like anything ramona said i wrote down because everything she says just sounds so funny i haven't wrote down something from last week because last week was so good and we talked about so much and i still miss stuff of stupid ramona saying for example they're like previously ramona's with sony and she goes so sonia okay like i don't even know how you feel like last time you saw tom

you were in bed together rollicking around together you and tom are rollicking you're having a frolicking good time while you were rollicking so ramona leaves and bethany suddenly feels guilty for whatever it's just like her adderall come down and she suddenly goes from throwing this woman under like into like under a bus that's in a fire i mean she's just being horrible and then she starts almost crying she's like well i don't want to ruin the weekend like like i swear on a friendship like seriously i don't want to ruin the weekend like okay like this it all comes down to bethany having a bad day yeah exactly and meanwhile ramona is like struggling to get her room key to work how but this wasn't working i'm trying to make it swipe like when i'm on tinder because i like to

date that's what i like to do okay come on come on, door, oh, whoa, this is crazy, whoa, this reminds me, when I was a little girl, I remember going out to the forest to play, and I knew I was supposed to get home earlier, but I just loved playing the forest, and then, when I came home, Geraldine Parsons-Smith had locked the door, and said, you can't come home, and then, from that time on, ever, after, after that, I said, I'm never gonna play in the forest again otherwise i'll get locked out for dinner okay so this is really bringing back a lot okay i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry stay class a post post mario syndrome okay that's what i'm suffering from and i'm standing outside this door and i'm like the old me would kick this door but the new me has already swiped right on the

door and i'm just waiting to see if the face of the door comes up next to my face and says, it's a match, okay? I have a date with the door now. I've been swiping right. I'm going to ask this door to teach me how to play backgammon. It's going to be crazy. We're a match. So Ramona immediately runs and tries to break into her room. She's so stupid.

Does this door have a chip? Like, seriously, let's face it. These chips are doing nobody any good. Let's face it. Ramona has a summit on the technology and hotel doors. Let's face it, everyone. These doors gotta go. Let's go back to lock and key.

What's wrong with the old days, okay? Let's face it it i'm sorry technology stinks it sucks okay ramona has to write a book called let's face it okay so ramona goes in and she's getting her nails done she's like hi asian person what are you gonna do i could use a nail do so she goes in to get her nails done and of course luann comes in luann has the worst luck with asian nail people that i've ever seen last time it was sonia's gossipy ass nail lady who's like oh yes the whole luann oh yeah everybody knows she has sex with so many people on the street she started that whole thing what was that last season or two seasons ago like i think it was last year yeah i think it was last year it's a harbinger of doom the asian male person so of course ramona's like come to my room okay i don't want to hurt anybody's feelings but you can let's face it you're asian so the way it comes in i'm like oh

no here we go i don't remember what the Asian... No, I just... She didn't even say anything. I was just like, oh no, here we go. Just a mere presence. Because they're all about to rip Luan a new one. That's just a bad sign. So Ramona goes,

So, Luan. She starts talking in her whisper voice. It's like calm, where her face sort of turns into a trout. She's like, so, Luan. So, how are you feeling? She's like, so, Luanne, so how are you feeling? She's like, well, you know, it's sort of crazy, you know. Bethany's asking me all these questions, and it's crazy. But, you know, we've got 10 months until we get married.

You know, we've got 10 months. I just want to make it to the altar with this guy. And Ramona goes, right. It's killing her that she can't say anything to Luanne. She's loving it, though, pretending that she's being so nice. So how did it go? Did you see Bethany? How was that, Luanne?

How was Bethany? Oh, well, you know, Bethany, she's asking me all these things. Open marriage. All this. Where is this coming from? I mean, Bethany. I mean, she was married for five minutes. She's been divorced longer than she was even married.

I mean, what is she talking about? I'm all pins and needles. Like like this is so hard for me like i'm literally on pins and needles okay let's face it i'm zipping up my mouth right now i'm zipping it up i'm zipped let's face it um so so yeah so then we go to um uh then we go out to dinner right now it's Now it's nighttime. We have a moment of Bethany and Carol sitting on the bed. I think they're still sitting on the bed. Bethany's like, here, look at this picture. What do you see? What do you see here? Do you see this picture? Seriously, it's a picture that somebody

sent me. What do you see in this? Is this a picture? It's him, right? Who is this? Somebody who killed JFK? What is this? It's like a picture. I can just imagine Bethany on CSI. It would be 55 minutes of her like, talking about one piece of evidence. Like, I mean, what is this? Like a gun?

What's happening? Like, someone shoots someone? Like, what are you gonna do? What is this? Like, 1910? Like, you're shooting someone with a gun? Like, what about poison? Like, what happened to that? Like, you're just gonna shoot someone with a bullet? Like, there's gotta be fingerprints on it. Like, how are there not fingerprints? Like, where's the tape? Like, what are we? Are we a police squad over here? Like, I mean, come on now. where like where's the tape like what are we like are we please squat over here like i mean come on now like where's like where's the where's the kid like i don't get him they're like fine

i killed him i killed i killed okay please shut up it's like it's like the sequel to the closer it's called the the opener the middler and the closer beth bethany frankl is the always opener. Bethany Frankel is. The always opener. Bethany Frankel is. The entire arc. No cases ever closed. We're not going to close the case. What'd you see in the case?

Did you see it? What'd you see here? I don't know. I didn't get it. And then Carol, ever so helpful, she's like, Yeah, I think that's Tom. Bald men all look the same. How dare you? How dare you, man? She's Tom. Bald men all look the same. How dare you?

How dare you, man? She didn't say bald men always look the same. She said that you can always pick them out of a crowd, I think. You can always pick them out of a lineup, actually, was the quote, which is not much better, okay? So now I'm just going to automatically go to prison for whatever some bald person does. Thanks a lot, Carol. Hey, Carol. Thanks, Carol. I actually feel like it

would be like harder I feel like you know you know having a distinct hair hairstyle would is more of an identifying feature yeah unless there's like ten bald people and they're just like that was a bald person like like what do you want for me like I told you this ball like I gotta get it like what

was this with like what is this like I guess it's like a like I'm professor like I don't get it like I don't go faster to Like, what is this? Like, Uncle Fester? Like, I don't get it. Like, Uncle Fester killed someone? Like, who's Miguel Uncle Fester? Like, what's going on? Who's Fester? Like, I don't get it. Like, what's Festering?

Like, I got... This is Festering inside me. I gotta talk to someone. What's the matter? I don't mean to ruin your life. Your life is ruined. Uncle Fester. What's the matter?

What's the matter? So, now it's dinner. Sonia, Ramona, and Bethany. So, this is weird teaming up happening here. There's, like, some weird teaming up happening in this episode so bethany the sonia ramona bethany are sitting at this restaurant they arrive they arrive at this restaurant first i'm sorry to interrupt but it's very important for me to to set the scene which is that they have their own area and then when they show up and he's like I like that we have our own lounge.

I don't know why. Just the way she said lounge. Lounge. Lounge. And Bethany, all she can talk about is, you know, how everyone else's relationship sucks. She's like, here's what I feel about Luanne. You know, she's like

Dorinda. Remember how I said Dorinda's always trying to sell John? Like, who wants to buy John? You know, it's the same thing. It's she's like dorinda remember how i said dorinda's always trying to sell john like who wants to buy john you know it's the same thing it's like what paper or plastic like i don't want to buy him like don't put him on my bag how about that how about keep tom out of my bag how about that like like i don't want a dag bag and i don't want tom without the dag bag either like i want i want i just i'm never going to go to a store again just gonna be fresh that's it you shouldn't have to sell your man until you've been married like 15 years like why are you trying to sell me someone you've known for a week like i feel like actually you do people do try to sell people in the beginning because you're like nervous if people like your your guy or your lady at first

right so i actually don't think it's that yeah and i think that if you try and sell your new boyfriend of course and what would bethany know she's never been married like she's been married for a second and also i think that if if you are in a whirlwind romance, like, you may be in love, but you know that people are going to be skeptical, so you're extra silly. So I get that. I get that.

So, by the way, I also have to remark, I thought Bethany looked fantastic during this scene. Oh, she did. Her hair looked so good. Her hair looked good, her outfit, everything. Her pashmina. I love good use of a pashmina, okay? Yeah.

Also, what I really enjoyed was, so of course they start talking about this whole situation, and it comes out pretty quickly that Ramona had told Sonia about this picture. And Bethany is like, oh, great. You got to tell Chrissy from the Three's Company. I really appreciate the Three's Company insults that are flying on Bravo these days. It's like everyone gets one now. Yes. Three's Company is coming up on every single Housewives show.

And I like that it's come on this one because we've had to, you know, actually think about Three's Company. And it finally makes sense what John is going for. He's totally Fat Larry. Oh, yes, he is fat Larry. That's why he's always talking about going to the Regal Beagle. I get it now. He's like Larry two decades later. Larry owning the dry cleaner.

This is what happens to Larry. Larry ever after. Yes. The ultimate stain Getting out stains All the poetry of life So the waiter comes over and Bethany's like Buddy you got something for a giant mouth Yeah my mouth it's so big

Look at my mouth I'm flirting okay Jesus does not miss a beat He's like oh I'm Jesus nice to meet you Your name is Big Mouth? She's like, yeah. Look how big my mouth is. Let's face it.

It's huge, okay? Look at my face and face it. Big Mouth. So Sonia is still brainwashed because Sonia Dodo Bird. I don't think she's been sober this long in her life. And so her brain has been wiped. And now it's getting you know the mac update it's like everything it sees it's just absorbing and so now suddenly sonia's

saying well i've been telling everybody the whole time that tom's a bad guy oh it's just so rough i mean we're gonna have to tell luann now yeah well the thing is that like sonia's story keeps changing and getting more and more dramatic and the fact that she keeps bringing it up i think is actually really poor form i think it's you know like she can't talk about that there were friends benefits and there are lovers or whatever she just and then all of a sudden now she's assigning all this meaning to it like no no if there was meaning to it you would have talked about it a long time ago yeah she's regurgitating what they're saying because Ramona, you know, she's a blank slate.

Ramona's like, are you hurt right now? Like, oh my god, they have they have... I'm trying to think of something that rhymes with rollicking, but I can't. Like, look at the menu. It rhymes with rollicking like you were with Tom! That doesn't work because nothing rhymes with rollicking

on the menu. Rollicking. king like you were with tom that doesn't work because nothing rhymes with rollicking on the menu okay well edit that out just kidding no well the thing is this though you're right though because uh yeah sonia has been meant like there's been you know several days and weeks of being like that must hurt you you guys you guys were essentially lovers you guys weren't just like friends with benefits you were lovers you went to a relationship essentially you guys were essentially lovers. You guys weren't just like friends with benefits. You were lovers. You were in a relationship, essentially. You guys were almost married. Wow, that's crazy. And so now Sonia's like, yes, it's true. And he's leaving me behind, and Luann's not paying attention.

This is a great relationship. I'm like, listen, Sonia, I'm loving you, but you have to relax. Now, that being said, Sonia mentions that she slept with Tom right with Tom, like, right before Thanksgiving, which Bethany can't. Now Bethany's in a tizzy. And she's like, what? She's like, this is crazy. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. Like, having sex with him, like, two weeks before.

And then, like, Luann, that's crazy. And then Ramona. I like where Ramona weighs in. She goes, and then two weeks later, he screws Luann. Or Luann screws him, rather. It's disgusting. I'm like, actually, it's not disgusting at all. It's just what happens.

Hey, hey, Zeus. Sonia loves steaks, okay? Do you think you can go back into the back and get a steak that's been aged for ten years so Sonia can start to enjoy it? And then Luan can come in and steal it and eat it right off of a plate? She's like, oh, my God, Luan would steal my steak, wouldn't she? Hey, Zeus, why do you think Sonya's been crying? I told you she was crying, Zeus. Why do you think she was crying?

She's been crying all day. Oh, my God, I am crying. By the time Sonya and Luan actually have a conversation, Sonya's just going to be like, and you stole my steak! Like, nothing's going to make any sense. You know I was looking forward to that steak all weekend long and you came and you stole it

from me. I was lovers with that steak. I was like, I don't understand what the hell is going on. That steak is BL. That steak was BL. Also, I want to ask you a factual question because your brain works better than me everybody already knew that this happened before thanksgiving it wasn't that always the timeline that the last time that sonia saw him was right before thanksgiving and then uh what's her buns met him right around thanksgiving right after thanksgiving i think

it's a relatively new awareness i think you know you know, originally it was just that, like, Sonya and Tom had been boning for 10 years, you know, casually. I think it was only recently that Sonya admitted that they had sex close to Thanksgiving. So I think that's, like, it's, like, surprising how quick it is. And then they're like, well, when Luann started dating Tom when they were in the same house, but, like, you know, who knows? Like, who knows if Luann knew that?

And I don't know. I just, I think they're like looking for drama where there sort of is none or they're creating drama. But then again, Tom is a cheater. So there's that. Yeah, Tom's a pig. But I love when Bethany goes,

I actually feel like I'm watching a soap opera. I'm like watching a soap opera right now. I'm like, yeah, you realize you're on a TV show, right? Like you're being filmed. Your actions are being filmed for an audience that are viewing it like a soap opera. So congratulations. You finally realize what you're on.

God, she'd be one of those people who's like calling NBC. Now listen here. Marlene Evans. Like I want to tell Kristen where she's hiding. Okay. Give me Kristen on the phone. She'd be turning into Hero every time. Poor Marlena would just be dead.

Okay, so the other team, for whatever, I don't know why it's split up like this. It's a weird episode. Yeah, it was weird. So, stupid, what's her name? Jules. Carol and Dorinda. Dorinda's already two sheets to the wind. I mean, she's shit-faced.

And they're putting her in some J-Lo dress with her boobs kind of hanging. Oh, my God. Yeah, I called it later on, her ensemble later in the episode, a Gloria Estefan discard. That's what I called it. And it makes sense that she's starting to fight with Bethany because she's basically wearing the opposite of a pashmina. Yeah. Like nothing. And she's very wearing the opposite of a pashmina. Yeah. Like nothing. And she's very beautiful.

It's just awkward. Especially when you're drunk. Like you can never slouch over. I don't know. It was weird. Yeah. It was a strange look. And so now the other team is piling into their cars.

And Luanne's like, well, the girls have been at the restaurant for a while now. Whatever. I just love when she's just like, fuck it. I like sober Sonia, by the way, because she's actually very funny when she's sober. Back at the restaurant, Bethany's like, that's it. If they don't come in here looking like Linda Vangelisa, they should just walk right out because it's ridiculous. And Sonia goes, well, then they should walk out. then they should walk out so bethany okay bethany and carol we've talked about this a little bit uh when they had the break and they suddenly came back at the new year where it was obvious that

they'd had a big break in filming and the show had started airing because suddenly everybody started changing their tune like carol someone was like carol you're really boring and everybody hates you now. So she's doing her best to have a story, which still doesn't work. But now her and Bethany pretend to fight. Yeah. Or she and Bethany pretend to fight. Well, because they arrive like an hour and a half late to dinner

and Bethany is hangry, even though they had a lobster tower while they were waiting. And she's hangry and she's mad and they just start fighting. It's unacceptable. What's the matter? You can't get here on time? Water malfunction? I don't get it. And Carol's hangry and she's mad and they just start fighting. It's unacceptable. You know, like, what's the matter? You can't get here on time. I get a water malfunction.

Like, I don't get it. And Carol's being like, I was late. I'm sorry. I'm late. You know, whatever. I don't care, Mom. I was late. If people wanted to come, they could have come.

I don't care. Suck a dick, Mom. Meanwhile, Jules is like, who talks to people like that? Oh, cook your fork in your meat, stupid. No one needs to hear from you now. Cook your fork in your meat. I'd like to return this steak.

It's not forky enough. Here, I gave you one. Alright, alright. We'll take a fried calamari, a grilled calamari, and some stainless steel, maybe a measuring cup for the skinny one to eat. Okay, thanks. Thanks, Jesus. Who orders like that, Jesus? Who orders without a fork

in the middle of the calzone? I don't get it. I'm so glad Michael's not here. So Sonia is totally being bitchy, too. She's like, so, Luanne, how's Tom? Lu she's like so luann um where has tom yeah

luann's like well i don't know i think he's with his mother somewhere i don't know somewhere mother sick mother i don't know i'm not jealous i'm not i don't care where he is i don't care the iCloud's not working i don't know the truth is i just don't know and that's fine iCloud's not working that's usually a salmon badoor thing but um ever since i found out you can follow people on iCloud yeah that's right um then became the sequence where

everyone said sandbar ten times tomorrow we're going to sandbar sandbar sandbar what's sandbar we're going to sandbar there's a sandbar we're going to sandbar yeah we're going to sandbar sandbar i don't know what's sandbarbar? We're going to Sandbar? There's a Sandbar. We're going to Sandbar. Yeah, we're going to Sandbar. Sandbar. I don't know what Sandbar is. I don't get it. Sandbar. You guys go to Sandbar. It's a Sandbar. You never been to Sandbar before? It's a bar in Sandbar. Sandbar? That's crazy. Why would you mix sand in a bar? That's nuts. You know what I wanted to? Like, eat food.

How are we going to get food? And Jordan was like, eh, they've got food. It's a Sandbar. It's a bar. It's a Sandbar. They've got food. They're packing. like eat food how are we gonna get food and drina's like it's the sand it's the box the sandbar they got food i pack it it was like an amazing micro fight that happened because because sonia i mean ramona is totally befuddled by this idea of something called sandbar is there a table and it's like it's a sandbar and i was like what do you mean there's no table how do you not have a table okay you need to have a table okay then how are people supposed to eat in the ocean that's the stupidest thing i ever heard like no wonder fish is so dumb like they need that protein and that's when dorinda starts getting mad her her arms go over her head and she's like

you go you bring your food you bring it to the sandbar, and you eat the food, and don't confuse me. What kind of place is like this? I love when she starts moving her arms like this. It's a sandbar. A pack of food and things. Don't put any down. They were putting subtitles under her. They were just writing crazy drunk Dorinda things.

She's like, if you can learn how to spell that, that's basically what they were writing under Dorinda. Dorinda should have just said that there was a table. I don't want a picnic. I don't want a picnic, okay? How long does the boat take?

Was there a table on the boat? need a table okay whoa this is crazy this reminds me this one time okay when i went on a boat and there was a table on and i was like wow what a great boat but now you're saying there's no table and i can't say what a great boat this will be i'm sorry i can't go okay okay listen right now dorinda i can see that you're really upset and i just want to table this discussion, okay? It's like, yes, yes, yes, Ramona, goddammit. Sandbar, sandbar, sandbar, sandbar, sandbar, seriously, sandbar. Like, what the hell?

I don't get it. Like, I don't get it. Like, what's the matter? It's like a bar of sand? Is it like a bar at the Olympics? Like, they're doing gymnastics on sand? Like, I don't get it. Like, what's the concept?

It's like a cheater brand like a regular bar like i don't get it like what about a jerk bar like i don't know it's just nothing's adding up oh my god drunk ass dorinda is hilarious so everybody even out crazies drunk dorinda and then dorinda just calms right down again i love it ramon like some olives came to the table or something. And she started eating them. Oh. Oh. She's sad. She's got some olives. Oh. So.

Then they go to the bar. This show gets even weirder. Yes. And Bethany is going. Bethany and Sonya are back at the hotel in bed together. Yes. I mean, this show. Sonya is a very forgiving person.

Okay. That's all I can say. And Bethany is just being straight up horrible but trying to be nice she's doing her come down thing again where she's like it's so weird right now because i'm floating right now like there i feel it i said it there i said it i feel guilty but like i'm gloating because like i'd love to see this happen on the way in like what's happening to me like am i smiling right now i'm smiling on the inside on the inside i'm smiling right now there i said it i said it oh god and then meanwhile while they're talking while they're doing that the rest of the women are out at a bar it's some crazy bar i think it's called ball and chain or something it looked

really fun and jewels is wasted and i'm i love wasted jewels she has gone up onto the stage and she's blowing a trumpet and then she's humping it and she she's honestly, like, happier than we've ever seen her before. Didn't she say something like, I love an instrument. Yeah, she goes, I love an instrument. Even if I can't play it, I can always have something fun to do with it. You know, mix up shrimp with it. Cook it into a cake. I once baked a recorder into a giant calzone. I was 15th clarinet chair in home economics.

I once made an entire lasagna with keys from a glockenspiel. My lungs are hurting. I'm so sorry. I'm laughing too much and people leave we're not even drunk so then um but meanwhile ramona dances with drunk gay children about fucking ramona she's so awkward oh i think he's into me he's like some 15 year old gay guy in miami someone tell the door i moved on to someone else i'm single and ready to mingle hey so then one of my favorite exchanges of the night happens where durinda goes

i wish john was here and luke goes i wish tom was here and jules goes i don't wish michael was here i'm having the best time ever. She was just like so drunk. Her hair was messed up. But I just love the rhythm of it all. It was like some old-fashioned comedy skit from the 50s. You know? I wish John was here. I wish Tom was here.

I don't wish Michael was here. I wish Michael was at home with the children. By the way, bad news, Jules. Michael is here because he's a terrible husband. He's with his mistress down on the floor. Don't worry. Ramona is hitting on both of your children right now. I'm thinking they're totally into it.

Your name is Jagger? That's so sexy. I'd like that you still have your hair. Did you just poop your pants? Well, it's okay. Want none, live none. You know what I'm saying? No.

Please help. Mom! Rio, you know what's crazy? There are Olympics going on in Rio. That's so crazy. Why aren't you in the Olympics right now? Because I'm too. Junior Olympics.

I don't see Avery was in the Junior Olympics. Okay. Okay. Junior Olympics. I don't see Avery was in the Junior Olympics. Okay. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Because I'm two. Why would you be surprised that your kid isn't potty trained when you named her after a city where they're making people swim in shit? She was born before the Olympics, Ramona.

I'm going to say, such a tiny, fat daughter. What sort of Jewish woman are you that you named your daughter after a city that has a giant Jesus on top of it? Rio, I have had the best time at your hotel in Las Vegas, okay? Between us, okay? What goes on in Vegas stays in vegas unless i tell you rio ramona's walking around with her finger over her mouth this whole episode like she's meanwhile she's talking to a shirley temple with an umbrella in it she thinks it's jules's daughter

hey shirley your mom's real weird, huh? So, meanwhile, back at the hotel room, Bethany is like, you know, she's going crazy with the situation, and Sonia's like, well, you know what I would do? Before I would talk to Luanna, I would just talk to Tom,

which is, by the way, a terrible idea. But Bethany falls for it, and she decides to... Like, you should just do what I do. Go over to Tom's at three in the morning, tell him your name is Julian and suck his dick. She's like, I can't do that. Any other ideas? Well, you can call him. Alright, I'll do that. Give me his number.

Give me his fucking phone number right now. You have his number? You have his number? What's the matter? Where's the number? I don't get it. Where's the number? Like, it's like all the digits. Like, how many digits does he have? Is he a little bit like another planet like i don't get it like what's what's going on tom's like uh who is this wasn't it yeah i love i love the i love the editing that they're showing luann watching ramona dance with gay children she's like i'm gonna call tom i'm gonna call tom right now and they made it look like they were gonna be calling them at the exact

same time oh god that would have been beautiful. It would have been great. But then I was like, but what's the issue here? I mean, there is such a thing as call waiting. They'll just both call, so both go through. Oh, Bethany's calling you. Great. Just bring her in on a three-way. What is this? You brought me in on

a three-way? You're a whore. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to hurt your feelings. Just be a prom whore. What is it? Conference call? I don't get this. What sort of conference is this? I have a brand summit. I don't do conferences. I don't get it. What's the matter? It's a cheater brand. I don't want anything to do with you, okay?

Honestly, if you put me on another conference call when I'm on vacation, I'm just going to kill myself. I'm just going to throw myself into Biscayne Bay. Literally, I can't. Well, thankfully uh tom was like nope it's like ignore it rang two times he's like uh no yeah so that didn't happen which was kind of a letdown but oh god i think it's gonna be better watching luann do it yo luann's doing like a repeat scene which we can't get to till next week but yeah it's a repeat of pay or uh where were they

oh the johnny depp trip yeah johnny depp yeah the repeat of the johnny depp trip so um uh yeah so anyway drunkenness drunkenness carol i mean jules says like that carol is so much better without bethany yes um so then that's that's true carol is being so fun on the boat and she's like so they're on the boat now right is this when they go on the boat oh wait no there's stuff before the boat there's a lot of stuff before sandbar uh not not a lot of stuff but there's stuff so it's the next day so bethany is gonna skip sandbar because she feels weird being around luann because she doesn't like she feels like she's just going to be like a gray cloud over Luann and so she's just trying to clear out of there

and and this is a Dorinda so Dorinda has planned this sandbar thing and Ramona has already said like Ramona walks in doing the little girl pretending she's too sick to go to school

but she's just a liar she's like way over doing it she's too sick to go to school, that she's just a liar. She's like way overdoing it. She's making her hair look bigger. She's like, oh, do I look okay? Because I don't feel good, mommy. You better get it together, girl, because you're going to go to the sandbox. I don't want to. I don't feel good.

So I hope that you don't mind that i'm gonna relax because i look at my hair right now like i'm only pushing it up because it hurts hey just stop you're doing it to your hair no no it really hurts my hair hurts i'm gonna stay home yeah meanwhile what ramona really says is not gonna sit there in a bunch of sand bring your stuff and stand around okay okay i just love that she said because it was like ramona really enunciates her s's so i'm not gonna sit there and a bunch of stuff at a sandbar okay i don't feel good and what i want to do is go to bed hey so She's wearing like a macrame outfit. And so it's like macrame again.

You said no macrame. I don't get it. And Dorinda already knows. So you're going to Bagatelle. So wasn't that one of the hotels that Ramona had mentioned that Tom was always going to? Is this like the. Bagatelle is like this place where they have crazy brunches.

And what's crazy, there's one here in LA. Sounds like a homeless pasta. It does. But the thing is that Bagatelle, we've seen that, we saw the Vanderpump Rules kids go there once. They're the place that has like the brunch

that's crazy where people dance on. Like at Wasted, it's like very bro, fratty. And they get like, they dance on tabletops and do bottle service. It's like a wild party. It's like very bro fratty and they get like uh they dance on tabletops and do bottle service it's like a wild party it's like a nightclub but it's like at 1 p.m so when they when they're like we're gonna go to bagatelle i'm like all right like aren't you guys too old for it i'm not even like old shaming it's just like you're above 28 yeah and ramona do i want to go to some

sand bar without a table or do i want to go to some sandbar without a table? Or do I want to go get dressed up and look gorgeous in front of really good-looking people? Okay, that's what I'm going to do. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. I don't feel good. Shh, shh, shh, shh. So Dorinda, she's kind of joking, and Dorinda's like, well, Ramona can do whatever she wants. She's Ramona.

Petito Ramona. That's what I always say. So Ramona, she's fine. I'm only making that point because right now she's totally fine that Ramona's ditching her. She doesn't even care. And Ramona's joking, so Dorinda knows what she's doing. Well, I don't think she was totally fine, to be honest.

I could see she was annoyed, and you know why? Because this is where Dorinda and I are very much the same. As someone who has organized a group trip once or twice, I am the sort of person who gets annoyed a little bit when I get it, when you try to plan something for the group and then two or three people decide they don't want to do it

and they just do something else. And then it kind of ruins the momentum and the fun of it and your expectations of what you had planned, etc and then you're like stuck because you feel like an asshole because you're like well it's a it's we're on vacation everyone should should do what they want to do so like why should i why should i complain like i shouldn't i shouldn't be annoyed because they want to do what they want to do that's fine and we're all adults but then you feel then you're like but i wanted us all to be together and that's why i planned it and you're like well maybe i should have said that more explicitly and then I didn't.

And it's like all this stuff and then you just get so, so frustrated. And I know ultimately that's more a reflection of me. No, I mean it's not. But I get it. It's rude. But I think Dorinda was okay when it was just Ramona. It's when they all started piling on. Yeah, because then it's like – yeah. Because then you

then you start to feel left and then you start to feel like you're uncool and you irrationally it's it's like remember when kristen takeman had big plans for them to go to go geocaching and then everyone was like now and then she just started crying i'm like i that's me. I would start to cry. Oh, man. I'll never leave you. It's like, yeah. I was about to share. I was about to talk about how. No, I planned a Palm Springs trip last summer.

And it's not that I even had so much to plan. But everything that I wanted to do got taken out of my hands. I was going to make a cake. And then someone else made the cake. And this and that. And I'm just like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm so mad now. Everything that I wanted to do that I envisioned how this trip was going to make a cake and then someone else made the cake and this and that and I'm just like you know what fuck it I'm so mad now everything that I wanted to do

but I envisioned how this trip was going to go is not happening it's all over well at least you didn't have somebody like Bethany there he's like what like who cares what are you dumb because Bethany's just like yeah I'm going to Bagatelle like who cares

I'm going with Ramona I'm just going to go to Bagatelle. Like, we want to talk, okay? So what? And Dorinda's like, well, you know, I just don't like feeling like I'm being left out. Echoes, echoes of a trip where Dorinda first came on the show. Hey, fuck you, Heather. I thought we were together.

You're not going to wait for me to leave an old cow, hello? We're from the same neighborhood, Heather. I thought we were together. You're not going to wait for me to leave an old cow. Hello? We're from the same neighborhood. You know what? Dorinda should really make her case to Sonia. I'm sure Sonia has a few thoughts about being left out. Yes, exactly. Dorinda.

Dorinda. Matt. Point and match, Ben. Mm-hmm. But this show, as often happens on accident on these shows, comes full circle thematically because we've got this Dorinda moment, which is really what set her off in her first season, and then we have the Luann moment coming next episode, which is like the exact same thing that happened on another vacation.

So I love some thematic tie-ups. Thanks, New York. And they're also coming to the end of the season, so wrap it up, girls. Wrap it up. So Bethany,any of course has nothing to talk about except you know luann so she starts uh what are they gonna get married like really like when's gonna get married she starts talking about this again and dorinda is sober and not stirring the pot because bethany is basically tipping the pot over so she has nothing there's nothing left in the pot at this point just a mess of spaghetti soup i mean alphabet soup on the

floor so dorinda is being positive you know she's keeping it positive like i don't think it's crazy i mean you know she falls in love with a man like they're getting married she's planning a wedding it was so crazy because what are you the what are you, the village idiot? Seriously? Like, you don't... And she tells us, Dorinda doesn't even understand Luann as a person, let alone this relationship. I think that Dorinda is totally right. I think

that whatever you think, whatever you... Whatever your thoughts are on this relationship, Luann's getting married and they should be supportive. Of course, Bethany's in a unique position because she has this photo. And so there's that. So it's like, I get that too, but then

I don't know. I think if I were Bethany, I just wouldn't touch the thing at all. Don't touch this. Don't touch this topic. But she has to because she's on a TV show. She's been going for Luann the whole time on every little thing. It has nothing to even do with this relationship. Now it is. And now she has a picture. But it's not like she's been going for Luann the whole time on every little thing. It has nothing to even do with this relationship. Now it is.

And now she has a picture, but it's not like she's just starting this stuff now. She's been going at it the whole time. And for someone to say, she doesn't understand Luann, let alone Luann in this relationship. Well, obviously you don't either because anybody who knows Luann,

even from an audience point of view, knows that Luann already knows all this stuff and she doesn't care. Okay. She does not care. And the only reason she gets upset about it is because now it's public knowledge. Yeah. She doesn't want to be humiliated on TV. That's like the one thing.

Like, do what you want to do, but just don't humiliate me. Yeah. She does not care. God bless her. She knows she's getting older. The woman just had to buy a smaller house in the Hamptons, which is mortifying someone like Luanne. And she's had to live in someone's guest room in New York. This is her lifeboat, okay? Let her have Tom Colicchio low-rent-ass lifeboat. Yes.

So anyway, speaking of lifeboats, the sandbar crew heads out to the middle of the bay or wherever. And they're on a literal sandbar. I thought the name was sandbar, like there'd be some cute little bar set up. But it was actually just a collection of a few random boats. Like a hot dog concessions boat in the middle. It kind of turns out that nobody ended up knowing what a sandbar was. And there was no sand. There was actually no sand at the sandbar and well it's a high tide yeah yes carol yes sandbar but then amazingly the best part was that there was a there was a

gay guy there who was he saw the way and goes, c'est la vie. They know my music. They know my music. C'est bon. C'est bon. Jumping up in dance like, I love it. Getting married, boys. Isn't that right, Carol?

And I did like that Carol came yes left bethany and she says i chose to come here instead of going with bethany because dorinda put a lot of work also because everybody's really mad at me on twitter because i'm too clicky with bethany so here i am i was gonna say i i was like she probably got some notes from the producers because this all was before it even started to say I was like she probably got some notes from the producers because this all was before it even started to air I think that she probably got some notes from the producers being like listen we like you Carol and you've always been an audience favorite

but you're being too clicky with Bethany and the audience is going to turn on you so don't do that anymore and you know what she's playing ball and guess what Carol has like has come back to us the old Carol that we like has come back to us the old carol that we like has come back i believe and i'm so happy so happy to have her back and honestly i think i like i'm right now i'm like loving carol again i'm loving me too instantly i love everyone this

show really can flip-flop you so quickly because i like carol again too like that's all you needed was to separate her from that just a little bit just a little bit and I like Bethany too I like that Bethany's pulling back and she's only a monster 70% of the time now and then she pretends to cry like that'll make me like Bethany for 5 minutes in episode 2 it's bizarre how they do it but yeah I'm with you I'm loving Carol again

she's hilarious I do like Carol and Bethany's friendship but i like that they they were just getting a little too clicky as carol noted and they've just they've taken a step back on camera and that's all that we needed and now i'm like yay carol yes i think the berkshires the berkshires was a turning point it was like the producers like we got to fix this it's getting too poisonous in here and then now it's just it's just funny when carol can just sit there and make the because normally carol would make

those comments and now bethany's there and she makes all the comments but carol was very funny just making comments about everybody which kind of got her in trouble before but it's so funny i don't see how this is a sandbar i don't get it that's when luann's like yes carol it's a sandbar and then uh they keep switching back to the the you know the lunch versus the sandbar thing and uh i'm loving carol just kind of letting every or kind of letting luann have it about the open marriage stuff because luann's like oh carol it's just so good to have you here you know bethany hurt my feelings and it's not that i'm mad at, it's just so good to have you here. You know, Bethany hurt my feelings. It's not that I'm mad at her.

It's just that, you know, she's saying that I have an open marriage. Why would you say that? And Carol's like, because remember that time when you said you were in an open marriage? Oh, and then they show the clip of Luann like, well, yeah, I mean, well, I was in an open marriage and that's

just the truth. I mean, that's just how it was. Then it comes back to Luann. Well, yeah, but she's making it sound so dirty. Yeah. Well, what's funny was that like Luann, I think actually Luann did clarify because she said it was open at the end and then actually like towards the end

of this little boat trip, I actually felt like Luann was being very real when she said that like, listen, you know, we were married for a long time, and we're in an open marriage, but it wasn't my choice. So she's basically saying, like, he was cheating, and I had to put up with it. Finally, because Carol's been poking her this whole conversation.

She's like, yeah, but, you know, you're like 6 a.m. at a Dunkin' Donuts. You turn around the open sign. She's like, Carol! Well, so what? So what? You open the open sign. She's like, Carol! So what? You open the store. It's not dirty, Carol.

Yeah, but you said it. It was an open marriage, but not by choice. Now, where's my hot dog? Carol goes, I don't think that's an open marriage. He was just cheating on you. Yeah. She made it dirty. She made it shameful my marriage um carol's not dropping it but she's just i don't know her delivery is better i think what it's her talking about yeah and meanwhile

meanwhile over at the brunch so guess what they're all talking about they're all talking about sonia's love grand love affair and they're also by the way this guy this waiter comes over to like fill up their water glasses and they're like you know i've had sex in forever you know let's not say that's just like this waiter was like wow he really stepped right into something he's like oh i did not expect to hear this at this table i usually hate waiters on the housewives shows because they're always just like stupid extras desperate to be on tv but i love all the waiters on this show because they're always just like stupid extras desperate to be on tv but i love all the waiters on this show because they're just real waiters desperate to not be on tv don't

like my please get away from these crazy people yeah get me out of here yeah uh sonia again going on and on really has to just stop really has to stop with the tom nonsense it's yeah it's embarrassing it's not your love story if it was your love story it would have something more significant would have happened like just give it up sonia give it up drop it lady um so i just kind of skipped over all that because it's really this whole episode is mostly bethany just trying to just annihilate people and i don't like it so now it's time for dinner. Now it's time because that's all they have.

That's all they do on the show is like eat or get ready to eat. Jules is wearing some crazy outfit where the sleeves look like giant hobo bindles. And this is where Dorinda was wearing her Gloria Estefan discard outfit where it's just like this big white thing with her boobs hanging out with a collar that was like pointing up. And yeah, I'll tell you what, Ramona Singer is a dog. Just like this big white thing with her boobs hanging out with a collar that was like pointing up. And... Yeah, I'll tell you what.

Ramona Singer's dog that bites. That's the dog that bites. She's one of those dogs... I walk up to the dog and I say, Hi, my dog. I don't look it in the eye. I pat it on the head and I hope it don't got fleas

because those fleas are going to bite me and then she'll bite your face off, Ramona Singer. What are you even talking about? And then I call Humane Society and I say, hey, stray dog, and don't touch in the face because I'm humane. I'm humane. I'm good.

I'm for the Society for French Acrolyte Animals, Ramona, and it's not going to happen. Not going to happen. You're not going to touch that dog, Michael Vick, okay? You know what I'm saying? This is a safe place for dogs, not Ramones. You like down with Ramones, you're gonna wake up with a dog tag.

Listen, it's like a dog day afternoon. It's lazy like Ramones. Ramones Singer is a dog house with Snoopy and the bird on top, okay? That's what I'm saying. You like down with fleas, you're gonna wake up with Ramones. It's top, okay? That's what I'm saying. You like that with fleas, you can wake up

with Ramones. Well, you know, it's like, okay, well, I could really use a fork about now. Jules is like, maybe now would be a good time to mention that I'm Jewish and Asian. It's been a while. Just to change, just a little bit of a

palate cleanser. So, Bethany, so downstairs, this artist Romero Brito meets up with Bethany. Bethany invited him to dinner because she felt like if she invited him to dinner, Luann wouldn't be able to attack her. I don't know where she ever thought that strangers would ever cause any of these women to stop fighting, especially Bethany of all people. She's the one, she's the queen of fighting in front of front of strangers yeah the one who's starting all the fights right now yeah and this guy is crazy he looks like a lebanese richard simmons like the guy looks just cuckoo bird and it is funny to me to watch bethany because she talks down to everybody and she's surrounded by people that she considers lower than her but man you get around someone who's

more famous than her and just watch her flip yeah exactly I like when Dorinda looked at a picture of him on her phone and goes he looks goofy sometimes she can just sum up things so well goofy there's a star yeah and now well so

now they're upset because this is the classic Housewives thing where it's like, I thought it was gonna be all women. I thought it was just gonna be the girls and who are these guys? And now Dorinda doesn't want to be there anymore.

And then Jules is egging on Dorinda to say something to Ramona at dinner, so. I'm not gonna say anything. Am I, Ramona? I don't want to say anything about one of my best friends

completely ignoring one of my gates to go to a bag hotel. You could have been at the lunch truck on the sea with us. And Carol ate my hot dogs. Lunch truck on the sea. That's what that was. Lunch truck on the sea. That's what it looked like. A big lunch truck on the sea.

Went to the lunch truck on the sea. We went to the lunch truck on the sea. Hey, Ramona. It hurt my feelings, Ramona Singer. It hurt my feelings, Ramona Singer. I hope you have fun at the Bagatelle business. Carol ate my hot dogs. Hope you feel good about yourself. Did it nice.

I saw a mollusk, and I was like, hey, mollusks, you want to come on the Bagatelle tour with us? I was like, no, because Ramona's there. I was talking for the mollusk. I'm very sorry. Hey, I'm sorry that I have a fear of seeds without tables. So I just want you to know that you're one of my best friends. I would never hurt you.

Hey. Okay, I'm going to eat now. Ramona's faux ass apology Again I love the Ramona Sorry tap dance She just gets up hugs Dorinda And is like there I put out the fire Alright Dorinda goes from

Me and Ramona Are always gonna be friends I'm still laughing about the lunch truck on the seat. They went to a roach coach. We didn't even mention that Carol ate a hot dog. Yeah. And she was very careful to do it off camera. And if there is a breakup in that relationship, I blame Dorinda. Yes.

She gave that hot dog three radishes. She's like, it's the first meat I've had in ten months. Yeah, she brought ice cream for everyone else. I'm like, this isn't food. This isn't food. What are we supposed to do with this? It's ice cream. I'm like, eat it.

It's melting. Okay. So here's not really that much goes on at dinner. Just drunk Dorinda ranting. And Sonia. Yeah. Oh, what did Sonia say? Well, Sonia, right in front of Luann, Sonia's like, well, you know, I was Tom's one night stand, you know, for like 10 years, a one night stand.

And Luann's like, oh, God. Oh, yeah. Luann just kind of laughed with her because Sonia did say something like 10 years or whatever. because Sonia did say something like 10 years or whatever. And what happened? And Carol's like, oh, so you're his one night stand because that's what he's saying. She totally outed it. And then they didn't hear her properly.

So she did it again just to start shit. Carol is being the worst. And Luann's trying to laugh it off. And I think that that's pretty much how that ends, right? She just kind of laughs it off. Yeah, more or less. Yeah, because then it's now the next day. And at long last, it's time for the Bethany and Luann talk.

And so Luann comes into Bethany's hotel room. And she's like, oh, how was the rest of your night? Yeah, well, you know, we went to a hip-hop club. I was, like, in heaven. Like, what's the matter? I was, like, a little hip-hop. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't get it.

Like, I don't get rock and roll like I'm a rapper like that's what I am like I'm basically like a candy rapper okay like literally like I can't like honestly like if I have to hear like drums and piano like I'll be on the floor I'll just like be dead like I just need like a good bass I need like when the beat gonna drop okay like MC Bethany like that's what it is like

like this is like this is what I need I'm sorry there's no beat that can drop hotter than the blood is dropping on the floor right now. Like, literally bleeding. Like, literally, I'm in the cut. I don't know if she was hungover, but she was definitely in a... I just got to the end of this dinner in my notes. But how it ended was Luan going, I'll kill every one of you bitches.

Yes. With my little umbrella for my drink. I'm a Tom Slayer. Which basically means she would murder Tom, but you know. Then, Kara's like, oh, really? Because Tom's lying about you and saying you were just a one-night stand. And I'm only bringing us back to

that because watching Bethany squeal with joy, the only time we really see Bethany ever have a true smile on her face is when someone's fucking horrible. That was so not nice what carol did and there is true joy on bethany's face and i have to say i don't like a happy bethany she looked terrifying i want her miserable all the time that was the scariest smile

i ever saw i was like put on a sun hat and stop smiling okay there's nothing to be happy about it's weird it's weird when she's doing a nothing's the matter instead of a what's the matter it's very strange okay sorry i went back so it's fine so uh basically uh blah blah blah okay so she luann comes over and bethany's sitting there in her her bra and her thong it's written like about like like three inches of fabric yeah and by the way yeah but it was just a weird it was a weird scene yeah so luann comes in on the other hand dressed in some weird 50s like dress flowy flowers yeah i just wanted to say i wasn't mad at you uh it's just that you you know you were saying these things about open marriage or whatever. Look, I lived in Europe for years, Bethany, and we didn't know each other at that time.

And I know that you didn't see it. You didn't see what a beautiful marriage I had and beautiful children. And it's just that you were soiling my marriage. Bethany's like, maybe tarnished it. OK, you tarnished it. Yeah, I apologize. OK, maybe tarnished it. Okay, you tarnished it. Yeah. I apologize. Okay.

Moving on. Next point. And Luan just would not stop. But you cheapened it. So what I'm saying. Okay, I get it. I get it. I get it.

I cheapened it. I cheapened your soil. Sorry. Okay. I cheapened it. Yes. Well, it just hurt me is what I'm saying. Okay.

I get it. Sorry for hurting you. The thing is, Bethany, it hurt the way that you were saying that. Yeah, okay. I mean, Tommy Tune was like, what's happening? Anyway, I've got to go. Tommy Tune and all. I almost left that intermission at Tommy Tune's show. You know, he sang a song about somebody not understanding the beauty of something.

And I thought, ah, that's future Bethany. You know, saying things about open marriages that she doesn't understand, Bethany. You know? Do you understand? Yeah, I get it. Okay. I just want to say something because I really didn't want to soil your tarnish. But what I got.

Oh, well, good. Because it just hurt, Beth. Oh, my God. So she won't let Bethany get it out. So finally, Bethany's like, first. Okay. The first part is, accept the apology for the first part. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I do. Okay, good. Even though it was offensive to me and it hurt. Okay, you accepted it. Next item on the brand summit agenda. The Bethany Luan brand summit agenda. Look, basically, I was like Sonia on a Saudi yacht in the 80s, okay?

I got dumped on, and it wasn't my fault. Like, I'm shaking right now. Like, literally, I'm shaking. Like, honestly, like, there's an earthquake. It's happening right to me. Like, literally, I can't stop it. Like, literally, if you tell me to stop shaking, like, I'm just going to be crying. Like, my wall is up. Like, I can't stop shaking behind the wall. Like, it's honestly like the wall is going to to me like literally i can't stop it like literally if you tell me to stop shaking like i'm just gonna be crying like my wall is up like i can't stop shaking behind the wall like it's honestly like the wall's gonna fall over now i can't

and bethany because she knows that luann knows her very well and the one does because luann's immediately like please don't let this be about tom and that's like well it is about tom and it's true and it's a fact and i have pictures so I just want you to know it's a fact so before anything happens I want you to accept that it's a fact because I don't want to have all this denial like blah blah blah denial denial and she's like pretending to cry it's like denial denial denial blah blah blah and it was Wednesday it was a Wednesday night

so okay that said I want to promise that there's nothing about this that I want to be doing here I don't want to be doing this the last thing I want to be doing like literally like I want to be doing here. I don't want to be doing this. The last thing I want to be doing. Like, literally, like, I want to be doing literally anything else. Like, I want to, like, be watching my mother get dragged around the floor. Okay, like, this is the last thing I want to do.

And Luanne's like, don't do this to me. And Bethany, it's not me doing it. I swear to God, I swear to God, it's not me. She's like, please, just don't do it. No, I can't. And she just gets up and leaves the room sobbing because she knows what's coming. She knows who Tom is, Bethany. She doesn't even look. She doesn't even see the pics, which was also kind of frustrating for me because we want to see her reaction when she sees the pics.

She doesn't even see the pics. She just runs out. Then she's like doing classic Ramona. Why won't this goddamn door open up? Stop filming me. Stop it. Can someone let me into my room, please? doing classic Ramona why won't this goddamn door open up stop filming me stop it can someone let me into my room please Ramona's like

listen okay let's face it you just gotta swipe right hope it's a match listen let's face it the door likes me more okay we're a match alright I'm sorry but he's mine the door is mine and next week Luann calls Tom and paces back and forth I I think in a robe, just like that other trip.

And she's like, Je voudrais te parler pourquoi tu as sex avec Calcon Dutra. Christian, por favor do not tell anybody I fucked Johnny Depp don't do it raison d'etre

tooth sweet mustard mustard french's french's alright bye now Dijon escargot croissant au revoir bye Dijon escargot croissant. Au revoir.

Bye. And that brings us to the end of the Real Housewives of New York City. Only one more episode left. I'm so sad. That is sad. It's the finale next week? Finale is next week, and then we'll have our reunions. Only a month and a half left of Real Housewives of New York that's so sad guys by the time it seems like it's about to be over

but by the time this show ends it's going to be like the middle of fall and it's going to be dark at four so I know I know well we still have OC in New Jersey to carry us forward and probably you know I think I imagine by November, my guess is that by November, OC will be wrapping up and then Beverly Hills will be starting up again or Atlanta. One of those two. They usually start in November. Yeah.

Atlanta will Atlanta. And then Beverly Hills has been shooting too. Yeah. They always start around November. So yeah. Beverly Hills starts, I think late September, early October, doesn't it? It goes through early spring. Oh, that's going to be crazy this year.

But we'll talk about that on the day where we haven't talked already for a zillion hours about this one. Yeah, yeah. Okie dokie. Let's move on to Real Housewives of Melbourne. So by the time everyone listens to this, there will have actually been two episodes of Melbourne that have aired. There was one that aired last Friday, and there was one that aired tonight,

which, of course, when you get this podcast, it's going to be Thursday. But I haven't watched the Wednesday night episode yet. Ronnie has. But we will get to that Wednesday night episode, which is Gamble's Wedding. We'll get to that next week. We're going to talk about the last weeks today.

It's confusing, but blame Bravo because, you know what? Bravo is being really annoying with the Melbourne scheduling. They are, and it bugs me because it's really hard for a show to find an audience when you keep changing the night, people. Yeah. find an audience when you keep changing the night people. Yeah. Well, maybe they're putting it on Wednesday nights that way to test it out to see if people from watching New York will then

go into Melbourne. Yeah, it is. That's definitely the silver lining that they gave it a chance on a Wednesday. I hope that people watched it. Because I love it. I love it too. Gamble? Bitch. Gamble? Bitch? That's how it opens. That's how this episode opens previously gamble bitch she is a black widow what that doesn't even make any sense she's so stupid pedophilic and amazingly stupid yeah i have to say on this show i'm gonna call a lot of people stupid

assholes but there's not one person on this show i don't genuinely love i love every person on even chica who says oh she's the best honesty and integrity are my favorite accessories also gigantic necklaces that could drown a peasant chica yeah exactly uh i love that petty fleur her i think it's so appropriate that the word petty is actually part of her name. You know that phrase like when people say such and such is my middle name? With Petty Fleur, it's like petty is my actual name. My first syllable is my first name.

So this opens – how does – okay. I've watched so many Housewives in a row My notes are lit craze I will drive it Let me just read you my notes Because it's so stupid Gamble bitch lol

Black widow get fucked Gamble bitch petty I don't want to talk about it That's all That's sort of like a Haiku that sums up the entire series so it opens up where we last saw them uh that gamble gamble had offered an invitation to pedoflur and pedoflur's like i cannot accept this invitation until you really think about why you're inviting me to this and i thinkble's like, okay, I thought about it.

Get fucked. So we pick up right after that. And so Gamble is furious. She storms off into her kitchen. And I love just Chica turns to Petty and she's like, you really can't take that as her being generous and thoughtful? And Petaflur is... Somehow Petaflur does not see it that way i don't

understand i don't feel welcome i feel like outsider even on the inside which is unacceptable i'm on the inside now and i still feel like i should be on the outside and she goes like now is that the nice way to behave to a lady and then gina brings the sense into it and she's like now listen here ped Petty Floor. It's like you don't want a piece of lasagna. You need the whole tray. She's like, she wanted an olive branch to become a tray. She wanted the whole damn tray.

And then Lydia, always sensible Lydia. She's like, Petty Floor knows how to crack a bottle in half. Yeah. I was like, I don't really understand what that means she's like going to jewish weddings is that what she means and on this show you never know if it's just a saying from over there or if lydia is just dumb as hell exactly so the thing is that pedifloor is like talking about like you know like you know i wanted to make sure she thought about it and i didn't want she was just saying all her typical pedoflora stuff and i love gina goes so why are you at her house then why are you here then pedoflora had like no good answer to that i was

like barrister the barrister got you pedoflora what was it last week when she when pedoflora is like i'm doing her the honor of being at her home she said something like that like she was doing such a huge favor and i cannot believe she is talking in private right now when i'm doing her the honor of being on her couch pedoflora is in a tough situation because she's just spent all this energy trying to become friends with gina and you know it's basically scolding her because pedoflora is like you know gamble she has she really hasn't been nice. And Yuna's like, she's been nice. She's been nice. Nothing Petaflora can say to that.

And then Gamble. Gamble's talking to Jackie. Jackie's like, I don't know why you put up with that. I would just say get fucked. That's what I'd say to you. And you did it. So I don't know why you're upset. That girl can get fucked and she'll get fucked.

The angels say get fucked. Even the angels said it. And Gamble's like, oh, Petaflora, sheophile she's pedophiles all about me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me i just love gamble how her face these days to me it really looks like a senior Wences hand puppet. I think I've mentioned that last season, but it really does. And when she starts to cry, it's almost like a stress ball getting squished.

And meanwhile, outside, Petaflur is like, I've just, like, how do you expect me to feel? I've just been told that everybody hates me. You all hate me so much. And Gina goes, we do

and then hugs her but petty floor doesn't realize like if you've just been told that everyone hates you and that's the reason why you turned down this invitation don't you realize you're just perpetuating why people are gonna hate you like do something to make people not hate you darling well ben you have some problems. That's Patty's answer to everything. You can be difficult. You can be difficult, too. So, Gamble, I can't win. I can't invite.

If I don't invite her, if I do invite her, I can never win with her. And then she pretends to cry. She's like, oh, oh. I can never win with her. And then she pretends to cry. She's like, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, So then Jackie goes outside And scolds Petty Fleur Petty Fleur, the angels and I would like to talk to you for a second We'd like to give you some friendly advice Why do you say such a thing? Why do you do such a thing? The angels and I would like to know

Gabriel called He said to blow it out your ass How about that, Petty Fleur? Why do you say such a thing? Why do you do such a thing? The angels and I would like to know. Gabriel called. He said to blow it out your ass. How about that, Petifleur? Petifleur is just like the quintessential victim. She goes, okay, beat me up. I'm used to it. The angels don't want to hear you be a victim right now, Petifleur.

Of course they don't, because no one wants to hear me do anything, because I'm just Petettiflur. I'm used to it. My son leaves me. My friends leave me. I'm just a beat me. I am a little softball. Beat me.

Go ahead. Hit me, everybody. The cat. Shut up. And then she's like in the confessional going, it felt horrible. It's like, oh, calm yourself, lady. Just calm yourself. Everyone hit me.

And then Gamble. I i love gamble has really learned she's like i'll just look like the victim you know so she's still fake crying because she goes i don't want to feel like to say i totally want her to feel bad. So, everyone, don't be mean to Petaflur. And then all of a sudden, like, in the blink of an eye, this entire thing changes. And suddenly, like, Gamble is sticking up for Petaflur. And then Gamble and Petaflur are embracing. And Gamble's like, no one can make me as angry as you. And then she's like, don't make me angry.

And they hug as if this is compliments. I don't know. It's the weirdest show. I love it. And Gamble says, you're coming whether you like it or not. I don't want you to be victimized. You're going to come out with some free wine and get out of your own ass. You can bring your son as your date.

Oh, well, in that case. And then out of nowhere, Lydia starts to cry. I just feel so responsible. I hate watching my daughters cry. I hate when my children fight. Now, please move that vase to the left. To the left. To the right.

To the right. To the left. To the left. Thank you. I love you again. Damn it. Oh, I fuck up all the left. Thank you. I love you again. Damn it. Oh, I fuck up all the time.

This is how I felt when I had lunch with chicken. I forgot about chicken. Everybody has lunch with chicken. This show is nuts. Everybody starts making themselves the victims.

Oh my god. And then Susie,zy of course we've totally forgotten about she pops up to be like lydia always gets away we're all taking her the next thing you know she's off the hook everyone's forgotten but i'll get her blimey i'll get her you win again l, Lydia. You win again. I'm gonna make a pavlova of rage. That's an actual quote. Yes. Like the end of a Popeye cartoon. That's true. Gamble and

Gina are in the lingerie shop. Gina, let's go to body like a little Barbie doll. I wouldn't wear any clothes if I looked like her either. We're real good friends because you don't talk about your underwear with just anybody okay yeah nothing really happened that scene if i remember correctly they just were buying lingerie and maybe talking about some stuff like the wedding yeah i'm just uh reading through my completely nonsensical notes.

Who cares? Okay. He betrayed her. That resentment is very... Oh, they're talking about Janet possibly getting back together with Brian. Oh, yeah. Which, who cares? Yeah, who cares? Okay, so now Janet and Brian...

Yeah, this is like a 20-minute long family dinner sequence, which at first I thought was charming. But then I was like, this scene is still going on. But it starts with... So Janet and Brian are cooking dinner for the family, and Brian's cooking. Seems like there's been a little bit of a sexual reassignment surgery happening here, because I'm fetching the scotch, and he's cooking. He's never made me a bowl of cereal in his life. What is happening here?

I feel like he's gone on to the online dating and ordered me a new wife. I'm getting very, like, flower peddler in My Fair Lady with my Janet voice. So this is basically a good little family scene with Janet and all the kids come over and make fun of each other. It's cute, actually. It is actually really cute. What Janet tells Brian and then later shows the family is that, well, she tells Brian first, she's like, So you know how I've been losing weight and you know how I haven't been accessible emotionally? I always thought I had an eating disorder.

Turns out I haved from eating food no she has ptsd from uh when her son jake on that horrific accident with the fire and she's talking about it's like a really big deal i'm not laughing at that no i know i know you're not i know you're not i hate when a laugh lingers over and you're like from her son being in a fire and i'm still laughing i know you're laughing from the other comment being in a fire. And I'm still laughing. God damn it. I know. You're laughing from the other comment I made. But so she's talking about this, the fire thing.

And then Brian's like, sir, does it affect your sex life? I'm like, oh, God. I was like, what an asshole. And she's like, I love Brian's jokes. It helps me get through talking about PTSD. It helps me cope with it. Because I hate coping. I mean, PTSD, now you have ptsd it's kind of a lot like the guys literally got a new face growing on it's too late like you're the expiration date on ptsd is over okay i don't know i believe it i actually believe it i

i know some people who had some sort of like ptsd and like a non like like over something like something shocking up in their life and still like three years later and like wow they are they really they have stopped they don't cope properly you know it's it takes a long time i believe i'm not i'm i'm a housewife just because i'm a cynical housewife sponsor i just i don't buy any of these storylines really until there's proof and i'm like you're kind of it's either brian or now what ptsd come on man you've already branded a t on the damn guy so either way all the kids including chicken comes over oh chicken i love when we're together chicken oh chicken i missed you so much so chicken and the other siblings come over and it is like you said it's really cute they have this really nice family dinner and it's like really sweet and

i was like imagining like for the kids how like so wonderful that was for them probably and uh but then they are talking about they just the scene just goes on and on and on at one point they're talking about brian's chest hair and janet like, the man I used to know was a carpet. And then it got really good. She's like, I almost gambled. She's like, oh, chicken, remember when your father took us to the sex capital of the world for a family vacay? He's like, yes, that would be lovely if we did that again, wouldn't it?

Just don't tell me if you get a massage. And the Turkish wrestler was wondering, why do I keep yelling out Janet? Janet? Janet? Not in front of chicken. Oh, chicken. I'm sorry you had to hear that, chicken. Nothing like a good family dinner centered around your dad getting handjobs in Asia. Oh my chicken. I'm sorry you had to hear that, chicken. Nothing like a good family dinner centered around your dad getting handjobs in Asia.

Oh, my God. So, Gina is walking down the street to go see Lydia, which just proves how crazy this show is because they hate each other. And she's walking down the street and a dog's barking and she goes, well, woof, woof, woof. And the dog ran away and hid under a bush so she goes into lydia's house and the first thing you see is a painting of a bunch of naked girls fingering themselves welcome to lydia's i know have you noticed that her house is just like a big gray box it's just so austere and i know that like because her husband's an architect but like the entire house takes up the takes up the full lot that's there there's like no room for anything

else it's just a big gray scary box pretty much just like lydia a big pretty empty shell of a something a shoebox of a lady uh so giner explain that giner and lydia basically explained to us that they're friends now for whatever reason yeah and they start talking about suzy and lydia's like i've i don't even know what why suzy doesn't like me i mean the girl says i dumped her but we weren't even friends in the beginning. I don't even know what happened. I mean, if she wanted to cheat on your husband, what would I care? Why would I care? So shady. And then, yeah, and then Gina's just like, well, you know what I think it is?

It's that when, remember when we weren't friends on account of you being a cut? Well, I think that I may have. Remember when I called you that? She's like, that was not cute. She's like, I may have been talking bad things about you to Susie for the past three years, and I kind of forgot to tell her that we're friends again. Isn't that funny?

So she still thinks I hit your guts. So she sort of took my side on that. Isn't that funny? So good. We never really explained to anybody that we're not fighting anymore. things like hit your guts so she sort of took my side on that isn't that funny so good we never really explained to anybody that we're not fighting anymore maybe we should just tell people that and they'll stop trying to choose solids in the game that's the game of the game you know what i mean she's like uh but we're close now and she goes yeah because we've it's called stockholm

syndrome you fall in love with your abuser. And they're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Let's go to that West Elm where we once had a fight. I need a big classy dinner, Pottery Barn darling. So then Susie, we then go to Susie who's with her sons. And she's decided to get involved in some of that scary online dating. That's all the rage in melbourne oh good her her sons are helping her set up her profile um and suzy like she's like just make sure she's like i'm open to anything but just you know i i like anything but i don't

like r&b i was like whoa that's where the line in the sand is on R&B? I was like, do they even have R&B in Australia? What would be an Australian R&B song? We forgot to tell people. We forgot to tell people. We forgot to tell people that we're not fighting anymore. Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy. Wiggy, wiggy. Let me say that since we've been together,

loving you forever is all I feel. It's just wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. It's a gamble. Wah. What's Shane Warne got to do with it? What's Shane Warne but a secondhand cricket player? Got to do with it. What's Shane Warne but a secondhand cricket player?

A trunk being popped open with a remote control over and over again. How did you do that? How did you do that? Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy. I don't think you're ready for this, Pavlova. I don't think you're ready for this, Pavlova. Well, to continue the tradition of awkward dating from one scene to another, let's go on Janet's awkward date. Yikes.

I am not totally convinced that this guy was not Joyce's husband from Beverly Hills. I was like, is he cheating on Joyce going on a date with Janet? He looks like Joyce's husband if he drowned in a pool and then his dead skin got really sunburned. I also thought he did that really strange thing when as Janet started to approach, the camera was on him and he pretended like he didn't know the camera was on him or that she was right there. So he started looking up at the ceiling, like practically whistling

like, what are you doing? Tapping his feet. He was so nervous and trying to be like really sexy and calm. Yes. Oh, what sorts of things do you like to drink? I love when she starts talking like that, like the old lady trying to get the kids to get into her oven. It'll be fun, children.

Ask Chicken. She loves being in the oven, don't you, Chicken? I love it. Chicken just loves you. She loves you. I like when Janet talks about her plan for dating. She's like, I'm going to try a bunch of different guys. I'm going to try a little one, a big one, a black one, an Asian one. You know, one of each. I'm going to Target the things that are on sale

chicken chicken i got a black one chicken chicken look at the black one i got jannet it's so awkward this guy has nothing to say and he's totally scared out of his wits and janet is just doing that like new mother but you know like 70 and she's like all right christopher what if i'd say christopher there's a man what do you know about christopher he's like well i, I'd say Christopher's the man. Oh, good job, Christopher. So awkward. It was so hard to watch. He's talking about himself in the third person.

Yeah, it was so strange. She's like, I like holding hands. She's like, oh, I love holding hands too. I don't know what my accent is right now. But she basically puts her hand on his and like she's giving overt body language and he's still trembling in his boots. That poor guy. That was just awkward. Janet. Oh, really, Christopher?

How wonderful. Christopher, did you get your salmon? Well, isn't that wonderful, Christopher? How wonderful! Christopher, did you get your salmon? Well, isn't that wonderful, Christopher? By the way, I'd like to have lots and lots of regular sex, please. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Seeker! Seeker, one thing I've always loved is my wedding. shaker uh shaker one thing i've always loved is my wedding so i'd love to show throw a shower for gimbal and we'll all be in our wedding dresses so everybody is showing up in wedding

dresses and and explaining when they you know why they got their wedding dress right she's like my wedding to bruce it was in the magazines v Vogue. The Thrifty Nickel. It's like she said Vogue and then what was the next one? I was like Vogue. The Kmart cat. It was like really great and then really. The Advocates. Someone wrote about it on a bathroom wall once.

That was exciting. Frontiers Magazine. So I loved how Petiflur shows up and she is once again wearing her white stole i'm like wow she is totally she's totally doing the marge simpson in her chanel dress thing she has her she got somewhere along the way she got this puffy white hat and this this puffy white stole and she's just gonna wear it wherever she can. Oh yes I got married in this. Yes, yes, yes. Oh look at my wedding dress.

Still fits. Yeah well you just bought it like to marry your son and then he left. Okay. It's not like that's your original. Yeah exactly. And then Jackie I saw my dress in a Vogue magazine and I called Harry Rothman right up and I said I'll need that dress, Harry, in a few weeks.

And he gave me the dress. Jackie, she's so emphatic in everything that she says. I know. And then she does her, like, two-eye blink, you know. So then I like Janet when she talked about her wedding dress. She's like, well, I don't have my wedding dress. I turned my first one into a quilt. The second one was just a bowl gown.

Sounds comfortable. I just love her. She's like, yeah, I just had a bowl gown that was lying around. So I made that. I just put the head on. Poor chickens got scratches on her face from all the tool on her quilt.

Like the least comfortable. Chickens like, I still have scars from the sequins. I know it was a tough time. No, there's factual physical scars. Remember the time I texted you and I said you're like my real mother? So could you please put some hydrogen peroxide on the cuts from the quilt that you made me? Oh, chicken!

I'm so sorry, chicken! It's just hard for me because I feel like you're my real mother because every night i go to sleep it feels like you're giving me a hug in your wedding dress but then you don't respond to my text oh chicken i'm so sorry chicken lydia of course it's like oh i had the most expensive dress from Dolce & Gabbana. You know, typical Lydia asshole. And she takes the bouquet and she's like, I'm going to throw this to one of the single girls. And then knocks it into the beautiful centerpiece.

I just thought, poor Chica can't win, man. I know. And then they were talking about Janet and Brian. Janet, were you pashing on the doorstep? I did not pash. I don't say pashing in front of chicken. Chicken doesn't have to know what sort of pashing I do with Brian. You'd never believe what happened with Brian.

We were on our way to go see Gimble for a party about the invitations. And Gamble invited Brian to the wedding. Can you believe the story? And I got so confused when I opened up the invitation and it said, do you want beef or chicken? I thought chicken's invited too. Everyone, everybody in the family's invited.

Oh yeah. During that long ass family dinner, Brian was doing that. Everybody! Everybody. So cute. So everybody is basically like, so what? I mean, his dick has maybe got another two years

left on it. Just marry the guy again who cares i just love that janet makes everything the most fascinating story in the world and they're like we were there janet that happened like a year ago or a week ago to be fair janet is a good storyteller like when she told the story about how her first husband she was like well i'm getting married on july 20th whether you like it or not. So I went and I got, I've sewed my own dress. And then I went to the field and I harvested all the food and brought it to the restaurant.

We cooked all day and I showed up. And then 15 minutes later, I said, no, he's going to come. And he showed up and gosh, darn it. We got married.

I was like, wow, that's a great story. And I told him, you weak, gutless man, you're bloody caved. Isn't that a fascinating story

Girls So I can't get out of crazy jamming Now I'm so excited to be jammed So now So this is so Now they're talking and Gamble has like a very emotionally Honest moment I thought

Because she starts talking about how she really She loves her stepson as her own And she starts to cry because she never had a son it was very related but this very humanizing moment for gamble wow wow so she's crying so then lydia i love what lydia said she's like yeah i'm really protective of my children i treat them as if they're my own too i mean if one of them got hurt i'm'm like, call the ambulance. I'm like, wow. So thoughtful of you to have the urge to call an ambulance if someone got hurt. Take them in your shitty, shitty bang bang car to the ambulance. Like if Joanna were ever to step her toe, I'd be like, Joanna, call the ambulance for yourself.

I care so much about my daughter but still like yes you you are such a good mother that you have the basic instinct to call for help when someone's injured congratulations one of my kids was on death's door to say i do a sign of the cross and possibly call someone to pick them up off the floor because nobody likes a dirty floor am i right it's like touching lydia yeah really touching so then suzy launches into a very dramatic and you know emotional story about how her uh son got into a really bad accident on like a four-wheeler or whatever and uh was with her second husband and this they didn't know if he was going to make it and this caused her to lose trust in her husband uh with

her children it's like really very emotional story so now now everyone has had a few different emotional moments so pedoflora is like well you know it's very hard for me. I haven't talked about this, but, you know, my father never walked me down the aisle. Never. It was my cousin, my beautiful cousin, who's passed now. He's passed. But my father never, you know, because the first wedding he didn't, and then the second wedding, you know, we eloped in Vegas. So I never had that.

And she says in the interview, she's like, i had a need to share it yeah and of course she adds in there and my beautiful cousin gave me away he is passed now she's adding like every bad thing everyone's like what the fuck jackie's face is hysterical just pause i paused a couple of times and both of them were on Jackie's face going, you know, making one of those faces. She is so funny. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit crying. That's it. Let's just have a drink and shine it up.

Look at this crap. Unless that e-ink falls off, I'm not listening. The angels have even left. That's how bad this one is. So, Lydia takes Susie for a private talk. And Susie is such a wuss, okay? Susie has said so much shit about Lydia. Just trying and successfully turning everybody against Lydia.

And Lydia's like, Susie, i don't understand what i've done and suzy at least does say the part that she already knew which is when i separated from my husband there were rumors that i was sleeping around and my ex-husband actually was the one who rang me and said it's lydia who's saying that and lydia goes because i say that because i speak oh bless you sorry i was overwhelmed with this whole story lydia's like who's saying that. And Lydia goes, because I say that. Because I speak, oh, bless you, Ben. Sorry, I was overwhelmed with this whole story. Lydia's like, because I say that,

because I speak like that. I say things like that. Yeah, that sounds like me, saying something like that, like that. I don't speak like that. What? What kind of argument is that? And she goes,

one, I would never say you're a bad mother, because I don't know what kind of mother you are. And I don't even know your ex-husband. Like, I don't even know the kids that came out of you. What the hell would I know if you're a good mother? Would I say that? I don't know. Are you a mother?

I don't even know if you're a human being. You could just be a robot. I don't know. How long have your children been cleaning your house? I don't know. Do they use lemon pledge or all-purpose bleach pledge? I don't know because I don't know. Why would I say that? I don't know how many Suzuki's your children been cleaning your house i don't know do they use lemon pledge or all-purpose bleach pledge i don't know because i don't know why would i say that i don't know how many suzuki's your children drive maybe it's a rumor maybe it's a rumor and you're feeding off the rumor maybe that maybe that's easy and suzy's just looking at her like, uh, oh, God. And then she tries the, well, I think that you move out of friendships quite a bit.

You move into friendships. And she goes, maybe I haven't had time for you, Susie, and I apologize. But I haven't really had a chance to get to know you. And then Susie's like, what a condescending thing to say. She doesn't have time for me. I'm like what a condescending thing to say she doesn't have time for me i'm like no she actually wasn't saying she doesn't have time because she said she didn't she hasn't put in the time that's all yeah she hasn't cared enough to even get to know you and suzy's like we've known each other for 30 years i went to a wedding her 30th every children every child's birthday now she doesn't know me she's like well i'd like to thank you for buying suzanna or joanna that cot that was very nice of you i thought you were the waitress all this time

but i was doing a favor by giving you money for cleaning up the dishes off of the table i was like why doesn't she want to be my daughter so i actually think the situation is i think lydia did start the rumors but i also feel like suzy wanted to be friends with lydia and lydia just wasn't like it's not that i don't think lydia was not even like not interested i don't think lydia noticed and lydia just did her thing and that's like when you want to be friends with someone and the other person doesn't just doesn't it doesn't even register with the other person it can be really frustrating and i think that's where this is coming from with suzy there's also the huge issue a huge issue so dramatic my my take on it is that they were friends they were their husbands were probably friends or whatever they

knew each other socially they you know they were like that kind of friend and then suzy got dumped her husband was cheating on her and suzy was probably cheating and the whole town was talking about it and then when she finally got dumped by her husband even though he's a cheating bastard all of her girlfriends just treated her like her she was crap because that's what happens to women you know when they get divorced everybody treats them like they're the plague because they don't want to catch it yeah and uh lydia was probably one of those people and instead of just saying like you know you acted like my friend and the second i'm single you're calling me some dumb slut not wanting to hang out with me anymore and

you know what the hell yeah but of course i'm putting a lot of my own my own makeup made up things onto that but right there's something to getting divorced especially when you're rich yeah i saw the first wife thank you deborah messing for that education so ultimately lydia's like i think the problem is that you don't realize that gina and i are friends again so maybe you didn't hit maybe gina didn't tell you but we're friends again like thinking that's gonna solve the whole thing she's like uh that's interesting and truthfully and suzy didn't know she's like i did not know that how awkward and then lydia keeps selling it yes gina has been incredible to me really incredible wonderful in fact the other day she came over i opened the door she walked into my door i mean what a person what a gina am i right suzy's like all right well

i suppose that we should just draw a line in the sand and yeah well you got suze it's like over now suzy has nothing to say i don't i think she's better with you know teaming up i don't think she's good at the one-on-one yeah i don't think so she's she's still getting her sea legs okay so then lydia and suzy go back to they after they're done talking they go back out to the party at which point lydia then goes and takes gamble to the side which i think it's so funny in this show how they so blatantly like pair off right in front of each other you know to like talk about what just happened yeah it's like an audition room that's what i think of every episode this season they're like all right let's go into the audition room and they all listen they're like well she had a good voice but i don't know how i feel about

her getting the role yeah so now lydia and gamble were talking about suzy right uh yeah i told her not to listen to her ex i would never let my husband tell me about a girl i don't know what does that mean lydia's like if you're bold i think suzy's just bold if you're bold go bake a cake yeah i'm like that sounds like a great idea that's supposed to be insult that sounds like a fantastic idea and petty and cheek are talking about lydia uh and uh Talking about Lydia and Petiflor is like, she's been there for me from day one. I keep writing down Chica's name, but Chica really never does anything. She's just like, well, here's how I feel about it.

How do you feel? Have you learned a lesson? The important thing, Petiflor, is that you learned a lesson. All right? Now come, let's have some tea. Let mama get that smudge off your forehead. All right right let's go in and have some tea shall we but what i loved about this is when petty flow is like you know i just really miss lydia i really miss her a lot and then it comes to jackie and jackie is getting furious she's like i don't get it you're supposed to be about switch the

bitch so stop talking about how much you miss her Just switch your own bitch and go and talk to her. She's right there. The angels say talk. You're a 50-year-old woman. Get a life. Get off your silver chair and talk to her. Gamble. If I was Lydia, I would be very sleazy. She seems sinister. Sinister.

Boo hoo hoo hoo. She seems sinister. Sinister. Boo hoo hoo hoo. And it ends with Lydia and Petty hugging. So, crazy ass show. Yeah, which is, when you say that, it means, it's two levels to that. She's both hugging Petty Fleur and hugging her Petty side. She's just like. I'm embracing my

inner petty soul. Yes, just let her speak for me. Oh, did I tell you about the cousin who was stopped by a police officer on the way to possibly walking me down the aisle because my... Shut up, Lydia! Get out your own ass, switch the bitch, and grow up, 50-year-old.

I'm gonna write a book called Switch the Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. Chicken. I just need to switch the chicken. You know what's funny is that my friend Julia, you know Julia, who's Australian, she sometimes says, Ha-oh, chicken. So that's what makes me laugh about it the most.

It must be an Australian thing. I've been walking around in real life going, chicken, chicken. Oh, chicken. The latest in a long line of reasons that my friends just want me to shut the fuck up. Just remember one thing from this episode. I'm not going to sit there and have a bunch of sand. Bring your stuff and stand around. I was so ready to hear an Australian accent that it took me a minute.

I'm sorry. I switched the gears on you really too fast. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I can give you a Cheshire accent. I just love perfection. I can't just talk to you. I just wish you had to tell me instructions.

Are you listening? You can put a balaclava on, but he's still got a penis. You've not put a balaclava on that. And if he's going to use it, he's going to use it. Oh, bless you,bourne love you bless you and bless uh bless everyone bless including chicken so it's all the chickens at the earth thanks for listening um remember to uh you can support us on patreon you can go to watch what happens.com to get our social media come to facebook join in the conversation. I played around with Facebook Live, by the way, and it was really fun.

And I think that probably both of us will wind up doing more Facebook Live things. So, of course, you've got to come to our Facebook page to see that, which is facebook.com slash watchforcrappins. And in the meantime, I just hope everyone has a fantastic, blessed, chickeny weekend. Bye, everyone. Yes, everybody. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.