Watch What Crappens - #3201 Summer House S10E1 Part 1: Beat Unmatching

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

This is part 1 of a 2-part recap!Summer House returns for season 10 with fresh blood, old resentments, and a DJ marriage spinning out of control. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Welcome to another summer. Thank you so much. How are you doing on this summer house premiere day? Good. Everybody voting goes live. It went live. Just went live. It's live five minutes ago for the Golden Crappy Awards. Round one is available now. You can find links at watch whatcrappins.com or our Instagram or Patreon, wherever you go.

Just go to one of those. Also, the links for live streaming have been posted, so you can buy tickets for that. And there are still some tickets available for the LA show on February 27th for the Golden Crappies. It's going to be so much fun. Thank you to everybody who helped us get those nominations together. You guys sent in hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of. nominations that we come through and picked out to make these ballots. And they're so funny.

They're really, really good. You guys did a great job. So thank you for that. If you want, I was going to say, well, after this, I was going to say, we should just tell everyone what the categories are for this year. They can get excited to vote for around one of this, this service. Go ahead.

Go for it. Well, we have our normals. We have best Bravo show of the year. Bravo Liberty of the year. Best non-house Wives show. Most memorable moments. moment, best fight, best villain, most cringe, which is one of our favorite categories, best newbie, best quote, best supporting character, biggest scandal, a lot of scandals. A new category this year is mother of the year. We also have the most below deck moment, most promising professional journey. And finally, another new category, best DJ. Best DJ in the world of Bravo. Yeah.

Yeah, so go vote you guys, especially today, Summer House Day, DJ Day. If you want bonus episodes, videos, ad-free listening, or our free newsletter, go sign up at patreon.com. And today we are starting the beginning of season 10, a decade full of Summerhausen. Summerhausen. By the way, summerhausen is for the boy, saw. It's for the boy. Send it. Sender.

Schenlahausen. Sunday. It's the summer of soft. Summer of Soft. By the way, did you mention that our live streaming is now live as well? I did.

I did mention it. Oh my God. You're so good. Let's get on with this fucking recap. Shall we? Just want to make sure the people know the things. All right.

Summerhouse, what did you think about the premiere? Um, it was good. It's weird watching it with such young people versus not old people. I mean, look, everyone on this show is younger than me.

So they're all children learning lessons to me. But it did seem like a striking difference, right? I mean, even with Sierra, and Sierra doesn't look old or act old or anything. She's not old. I mean, she's still in her 20s. But the new kids are like kid kids. They're babies.

So that was a little weird. Well, the new kids, I think, are like 25 or 26. It's interesting because they don't seem. as young as Lexi. And Lexi was like 27 or so, but she read as like 19. And then Lexi, of course, famously came on with a different Bailey who looked like she was 14.

And so everyone was like, who are these children who came onto Summerhouse? And I feel like the newbies seem age appropriate for on ramping onto the cast. But it is weird, though, because we do have this, like, we do have these tears of ages in the cast. have the OGs from 10 years ago who are now in there like Kyle is 43 or so Lindsay is pushing 40

Amanda's in her mid 30s I think Sierra's at 29 and then you get the newbies so you just have these three sort of phases Sierra came in midway through the show's run and have different like levels of establishment and like in reality I don't know if this group of people are necessarily going to share a house together but I'm okay with it I actually think the newbies were great I was very happy with them. I really love those two new girls. Um, at first it was like, okay, they're trying to like recreate the page and Hannah vibe. But I feel like it was, I feel like it was authentic. I think they have an authentic relationship, a friendship. And I think Bravo was smart to cast two friends who, who are friends, not just like Bailey and Lexie again. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not complaining. I just,

there was, there were just a couple moments where I think the cast looked at them too, like, what the hell your children? Yeah. Um, and then it was, you know, there was a moment where like the guys come into the new girls room to talk while they're in bed. And I was like, ooh, get out of here. Uncle. Uncle Jesse and Uncle fucking the other one, West. Yeah. But they're not even that much older.

So I don't know what it is. I don't know. Maybe it's the new kid at work thing. But I liked it. I thought it was good. Toxic as fuck. I mean, geez, it starts off with Amanda and Kyle. Just Amanda hounding.

I mean, just pounding Kyle. But, you know, then after we kind of find out why. make sense, you know? Yeah, this is the swan song for Kaimanda. I mean, obviously we know that going into this, but wow, it just starts off on a brutal note with the two of them. And it's just going to get worse over the course of the summer. Like, this is going to be hard.

I mean, we always say every other, every other season is a bad Kaimanda season, right? Like they have a season of fighting. And then we all say, oh, my God, you guys should get divorced. And then they have a good season. And then the good seasons are when we usually focus on like Lindsay and Carl or whatever. And I think last season was a good season for them, which means that, of course, this season's a bad one. And this is going to be the worst one for them because they're going to actually break up. But, you know, listen, bad couples.

You know you're out there. Just couples who are fighting all the time. No one wants to hear it at dinner. You married each other. You chose each other. Your friends warned your asses. We warned your asses. I don't want to have to hear about it during.

dinner. It's bullshit. Take that shit outside. Fight at home. Okay. I didn't marry your stupid asses. Go fight outside. Yeah. Yeah, fight outside. Like hell in front of a camera. What you did. Which you did. So, um, Kyle is, uh, giving us the intro because he's got, he's the elder. So he's like, these friendships go back 10 plus years. We like to think some of these relationships are unshakable, but in the blink of an eye, everything can change. And Yeah, we get the theme song, which is nice because they cut that all last year. But this year we do get a little. Living the theme life from someday to sunrise.

Hold it. Hold for it. And they did like a really sad minor, minor key. Yeah. It's like, wow, look at what's happened all the 10 years. years. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a it's like a very dramatic beginning. And then we go to, of course, everyone getting in their cars. So it's Sierra. She's got a big ass GMC. And she's just trying to drive it. And then Kyle and Amanda are in their car and they're loading it. And then Kyle goes,

don't worry about me this summer. She goes, who? Which is funny. But also like bold for him to say that when he is the one going out every single night to DJ across the country. But then he's telling Amanda not to forget about him. It's like, be more present, Kyle. So Sierra drives and parks near them because they're picking up Amanda because she has decided that this summer she's not driving with Kyle every time

just because they're together. She is getting some independence and she's riding with the girls, damn it. And so Carl's like, are you going to miss me? She's like, no, Kyle. I'm like, no, actually it's healthy. It was a good separation. It's really good. Summers for the

boys. Summers for the boys. Summers for the boys. She's like, why are you freaking out? You're acting like I'm going to college, Kyle. I'm so proud of you. So then Sierra comes by, and then Kyle's like, Kyle's like, wait, Sierra, can I say hi to you? Can I say hi to you?

And then they hug and everything. She's like, bye, dad. He's a buckle up. So then Amanda just hops into Sierra's car. She's just so much happier. And she's like, oh my God, look at like fucking Kyle. Look at him. I know.

He's like, so. draw that I chose to drive out with different people, Kyle. I thought it was funny. It's such a drunk driver, Kyle, to be like, all right, don't forget to keep your hands at nine and three. That's not even though. That's not even the time, Kyle's 10 and two.

Sirius is idiot. So now Kyle is picking up. What? Just driving with his hands on the sides of the steering wheel. I guess that's not so bad. My, wait, mine. It's not terrible. but it's just very hard.

Yeah, yeah. It's just one. And so Kyle picks up Carl and Jesse and summer's for the boys. And Jesse like, I'm quite excited. God, that mouth. forgot about that mouth. Here it comes.

It's like when Alice goes to Wonderland and that Cheshire cat's in the dark and you just see the teeth, the teeth appear. Yeah. Grin. There's like one shot where he's loading stuff into the back of the car

and they put like a GoPro on the back seat or something and he just comes his face just comes right up to the camera as he shoves his bag in and he smiles out he's like hey there's a camera back there was a lot it was a lot of it's not flattering and they really don't they seem to not like jesse which i find hard to believe because he seems nice i mean he's been a douchebag on this show but of course he's on this show so it's part of the job description but he seems like he would be nice to the cast and to the crew and stuff but i saw something today where the cast all went to have sandwiches because they're still on the whole how many sandwiches have you made me. Like, that's their

proceeds proof timeline. That's their slogan of this show. So they were doing another thing for that. So there was a video where they were all having sandwiches and, you know, they sit down. But then the second like, just show the sandwiches, you know, but the second they started eating,

the camera goes right up to Jesse from the side view and he's like, I was like, why do they hate Jesse? Just like, just leave him even I'm saying leave him alone. But I feel like it's abusive at this point. I feel like it's a pattern now because you've got that and then you've got this GoPro right in his face. Right in his face.

But like that's also kind of his thing. And did you notice that when Jesse showed up as people arrived on their kairons, you would see Kyle, it said CEO of Loverboy for Carl. It's an entrepreneur for Jesse. It said musician. I was like, really? Oh, God. Never mind. You know what?

Show his stupid face doing whatever you want to. I'm done sticking out for him. That was my only five minutes. I can't. Let me stream. This is not your bar mitzvah. Okay. Be quiet.

Doesn't he have an album coming out or something like that? He's come out with a few with a few songs. He has a Spotify. He's a Spotify artist, Jesse Solomon. He's got some songs. He's got a lot of songs. I've never made it through an entire one, but that doesn't mean much. You know, I'm still listening to like Ruth Brown.

So everybody's got somebody. Is that everybody wants to? Oh, whoa, um, yeah, he's got just, what would Jesse Solomon do? He's got,

oh, come on. He's a crooner. But you know what, though, John Legend, John Legend, people may not realize this,

but before he was a pop star, he was a consultant with Boston Consulting Group, BCG. So it just goes to show you can make the, you can make the jump from corporate, corporate person like Jesse was to music and, you know,

start him awaits. So, yeah, listen. I'm not saying, If people shouldn't have dreams, I'm just saying, you know, his dreams are annoying. No, he should have them. He should just annoy me less with his dreams.

Because every time I've seen his dreams or hurt his dreams, I'm just, I just, I turn off his dreams. I scroll through his dreams. I scroll past his dreams. But, you know, you got to have them. So good for him. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So Jesse is like, I'm quite excited to be here with everybody.

Carl's like, yeah, I don't think I've ever been as excited to come to the house, like ever. It's like I'm so excited. It's like Carl 10.0. It's Carl 10.0. Look at Carl. Officially, I'm past the sober point. Now I'm sober, but I'm also not a wreck. And I'm running a marathon.

So it's a big deal. I've come back to season 10 looking like a Lincoln log with teeth. And I'm happy to be here. I have to say I liked Carl quite a bit this episode. I feel like Carl has taken some notes and he's realized that he's sort of become a drip at this point. Like, it's great that he's sober. I think we support that. But you don't have to become sober and lame.

Like being sober does not automatically make you lame. But he kind of leaned into being lame and like everything was about him being. Oh, I'm sensitive. Oh, I don't have to be careful. Everyone was so careful about Carl. And this is the first season in a few years where he's come in kind of like, oh, hey, I'm actually a fun person, you know? Yeah, I think it takes you a couple years to, with sobriety to like kind of refined, uh, re, refined. You know what I mean. Not refined, but to, to find again, uh, you're,

who you are, you know, because especially if you're, if you're around a bunch of people who are drinking and drugging, you know, you're like, how do I fit into this? Who am I? Do I still even wear tight jeans? Like, I can feel them now. I feel my balls being pushed into the back of my throat. So, not really sure what I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? So I think that that's kind of normal. But there was definitely something behind his eyes, I noticed, this season, which was nice, because I feel like he's been completely vacant. His eyes had, like, nobody's been there the past couple of seasons.

So it's nice to see, you know, Carl resurfacing, which Carl will it be? We're going to need a few episodes to find out. Yeah, I agree. He even says later on in the episode, like that, oh, I've been sober for a few. years now, but now I'm actually kind of like more of a, like I'm back to being a human now, which I think really has been coming through in this episode so far, right? I think we see it just the fact that he's excited to come to the house. Maybe the life force that was draining him was Lindsay, quite possibly. Who would have made me? Yeah. So, but listen, Lindsay's been

draining us for 10 years and I just love it. I just keep coming back from him. But just drain me, Drain me. Filling us and draining us. She pokes a whole enough but then fills us. Well, we know that Carl is really making a change this year because he's like,

guys, I have an announcement. Would it be like crazy if I took the downstairs bedroom? Would that be nuts? Like, why? Why would you want that? It's the noisiest one.

No one ever sleeps. Why? And he's like, oh, because I want to be more in the mix, guys. Carl 10. No, more in the mix. This is in the mix, Carl. I'm not into mixed drinks,

but I'm into the mix. mix in general. Hey, I have a question. If you add water to me, do I become a brownie? Because I'm in the mix. Oh, yeah. It doesn't make a difference if you use coconut oil versus olive oil. Just saying, in the mix.

It's Carl in the mix. Please don't over-bake me because I want to be a soft brownie. Thank you. I tried making brownies with olive oil. It did not work. So they tasted disgusting. Disgusting. Horrible.

Instead of vegetable oil, you're not. say, right? Yeah, or coconut oil. Coconut oil I like better because it's sweet, you know. But the olive oil was too many of those like floral kind of bitter notes in there. It was bitter. It was gross. So they're like, why are you sleeping downstairs?

He's like, yeah, I'm in the mix. It's Carl in the mix. So are you in West going to room together again, Jesse Solomon? Listen to your song. Listen to it today. Well, I ran practicing for the marathon, new Carl. Well, Jesse Solomon's a good one. It's a good song.

I was thinking like, well, what did DJ Carl? I mean, Kyle cooked you to that song. Because you know what he might do? He might mix it. In the mix. That song is the mix. I'm trying to say remix. DJ Joe, come on.

Guys, new Carl. So Kyle's like, uh, well, so, uh, if you're wondering our west is, he's driving out with the buddy. So would you be upset if he shared a room with his buddy? And just like, no, like not at all. Yeah, I heard his name is KJ. That's all I know about him. That's pretty cool.

Jesse will be so upset. And that's Jesse gets for abandoning his bestie all of last summer to hang out with Lexi. Not only abandoning him, abandoning him, but apparently shit-talking all summer with Lexi. You know, let's not forget the bombshells that Lexi dropped, where Jesse was incredibly jealous of West and always trying to get more followers and screen time than West and upset that she was flirting, you know, all that stuff. So we found out last year that there is like a simmering jealousy there from Jesse against West. And so he's like, well, I have a problem with him just like having fun, having a new friend. Not I don't have a problem with that at all. He's going to lose that.

He's going to lose his mind. Yep. He's going to be feel, I think Jesse really likes being the center of attention. And that comes from like girls and boys. And I think it's going to be hard for him, especially because if West and KJ wind up like really browing out, Jesse's going to feel left out. Speaking of which, we now go over to Westcar where KJ is there. and we meet KJ, this is West's friend, and KJ's very cute, he's a model.

He sort of looks like a 3D animated character to me. Like, he should be like on the menu screen of something. Does that make sense? You know? He's like, beginner, intermediate, or super stealth killer. Yeah, and you choose the middle. He's like, great choice. And then I'd like to do just the side.

How about how many players? He's got kind of like a teenager. He needs your voice, which I like. I don't know. He seems nice. They gave him more lines than most. I mean, he made it into the edit, which was nice. Because usually the new guys don't get into the edit at all.

They just put them in the background, you know? You see them with like a slice of pizza. Like, I'm here too. I've had sex before. I was listening to you, sir. But I think he already had more lines than most everybody that we've seen, except Emeril. Emeril had some decent lines because he came in with like the,

the orgy monologues and stuff. I worry about KJ's longevity on the show because as we will get to, one of his first things is that he has anxiety. I'm like, I don't know if the summer house is the best place for you, buddy. But he's also enjoying, you know. He's like at that age where you have to have something to talk about.

And he's like, I have anxiety. And then the other girl's like, she's already crying. So I think it's, yeah, I think it's a generational thing. it's like, hey, nice to meet you. Here's my problems. I have crippling anxiety. I have it right now.

I might fall off this ladder. What do you think about that? Ladder drama. So West is, like, so KJ says, you know, hey, so how'd you come up with this theme for this party tomorrow? And West says, because like the fucking Fourth of July, like, it's so generic, but like everyone knows it.

So like, I was just going to give it a little twist. because like, I'm a country bumpkin, you know, so county fair. And KJ is like, yeah, that's bringing me back to my roots, bro. It's like, yeah, everyone knows that like, you know, I'm like annoying about being from Missouri. And so, like, now that we got to, because, like, KJ, he's like mild mannered. And then, like, three or four tequila sodas, he'll just, like, throw his grill in and flip his hat backwards. And he starts to rage. It's crazy.

A hat backwards. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, yeah, okay, well, the boys, like, rip it up. And then the girls, you know, like, the girls, like, they're like, I guess staying in bed. So we're going to try and get him out this year. He's like, yeah, bro, let's get him out this year. Yeah. And Amanda's married to Kyle and Sierra, I mean, I don't know. Maybe she still hates me for no reason. I guess we'll have to see. Just a dopey boy. By the way, what are your thoughts on his hair this season? Current haircut? always a miss. But he's doing it on. He does it on purpose. I think he's doing that whole like barstool sport.

It's like, I'm just a sloppy guy. If you can't smell beer on me, I'm not doing my job, you know. He's like, I have really long armpit hair. You know, it's kind of his thing. It's just like you just know, I smell kind of like the inside of a mobile home, you know. That's probably his like cologne to smell like that. I'm like fresh out of a shower, just inside of a mobile home spray. Just so people think I'm grungy enough to be like a bar stool guy.

Yeah, I think his hair's all right. I mean, the first year, he had the big poof. Second year, he had that middle part, which I detested. And I think now it's just sort of like general mess that I think is just sort of, it's fine. It's fine for me. It's an extreme effort to not be a metrosexual. Hey, someone today posted a picture of Kyle Cook next to J.D. Vance and said, I can't believe that Kyle Cook is older than J.D. Vance.

And Kyle, I think is 43 and J.D. Vance is 41. And I was like, holy shit. I mean, that's, I think that's kind of the difference. Like, Kyle's kind of got the metrosexual thing going where it's like, facials, do your hair, product, tweez, groom. And West is like, no. JD Vance is 41 years old. That's shocking to me.

Is this like the first time that I've been older than someone that's like a president or vice president? I don't even know how I feel about that. And all I wondered the whole time was like, I wonder how old the couch was that he fucked. I know. Which couch would you rather sit on? The Summerhouse couch or the J.D. Vance couch. That's just a thought for the audience. It's a nonpartisan question.

Really cuts across all political parties. Don't get mad. Don't get mad. People who vote on the couch. Get mad. Get mad. Stay mad. Everyone else is. So, and rightfully so.

The world's going to shit. Be mad. Okay. If you're not mad, you're not paying attention. That is for sure. Okay. So, K.J. So he's like, yeah, okay, so basically I would try to tell you not to date somebody, but I mean, that can get ugly pretty quick, especially if the New York Times comes a call and watch out for that one.

So, yeah, so KJ is saying he's not going to try to date anyone in the house because he used to be a lover boy, which I don't know if he's contractually allowed to even say that without, you know, paying some royalties to Cal Cook at this point. So I was like, don't say those words. Yeah, his thing is like, I'm not a fuck boy. I fall in love in the first five minutes. So I'm going to try not to do that. And KJ, this is where it starts. This is our first warning bell for KJ is this whole like, well, it's just me. I really want a relationship.

I'm always in a relationship. But now I guess I'll try to be a fuck boy, you know, because I'm just heartbroken. And that's kind of a red flag of somebody is like, oh, I'm just not a broken. So they can be a fuck boy. So I don't know. Right. I don't know. Another red flag.

Like another red flag is he's a model. So that's already just something to be to be wearing. A skateboarding model. A model on wheels. With anxiety. The skateboarding model, anxiety. Not a fuck boy. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what I'm believing in what I'm not yet. Maybe you'll feel less anxious if you're not rolling as much. I mean, like for me, if you put me on a skateboard, my anxiety goes through the roof. So I find it like very amusing that that's actually something that he says takes away his anxiety. because I'm like, like, I don't want to be in a situation where I can fall and hurt myself. That makes me incredibly nervous. I'm incredibly, David, incredibly nervous.

It's not safe. There's something freeing. I was riding my Vespa around yesterday because it was finally warm enough. And I was like, I could die at any moment. Because, you know, I haven't ridden it for a little while. And I was like, oh, my God, you know, people running you off the road. People get nasty when you're on a scooter sometimes. And so there were some of that happening.

And I was at a stoplight. and across the street was Angeline. Evangeline. I saw her right at right by your place. She's always driving around that pink car. She's in that thing. I think she's just driving around to like wave to her fans or whatever because I see her all the time. So it was her.

And then it was that guy in the, I don't know if you've ever seen him, but it's kind of a low rider, but with gigantic wheels and like flags all over it. And I think it's Hulk Hogan that's like stenciled onto us. This town is so crazy. So it was them. And then a guy came up revving his engine at me. And I was like, this is the intersection I could die. What if I died, like right between the Hulk Hogan guy, the Evangeline guy, and whoever this douchebag neck is to, I mean, what a way to go.

But it did make me feel better. I was like this is so fine. This is so free. That sounds like a great way to alleviate your anxiety. It's been caught in four way with Angeline, Hulk Hogan car guy and a douchebag. Just sitting there on my little beige. scooter in the, you know, in the jungle of Los Angeles. Unprotected. I felt like just such a badass. When you ride your Vespa, do you ever like close your eyes and put your arms out and have like a

moment, like a cinematic moment? And be like, I'm free. I'm free. I'm free and the rain comes down. And you just look up and then you just drive around and then you drive through the front window of Lala's. No, that's not how that's not how Vesp's work. And I've been thrown off the Vespa. So nope, there is no letting go. There's no letting go. Anyway, the point is, I don't know that I trust this guy. So we go back to Sierra in the girls car and they're getting the new girls. And I got a page alert because this girl was really giving heavy page energy in the beginning. Because she had on like a bow.

You know, page is just kind of like, I'm just a prissy girl from, you know, upstate or whatever. I wear bows. She was giving that. Yeah. She came on and she's like, well, Hello, I'm, I'm your new, Paige DeSarbo. Nice to meet you all. Her name is Bailey, which is already, that's already very, isn't it, Levi?

No, her name is Levi and Levi. Bailey is the talkative one. Levi is the more quiet one who wore corn on her head. Levi is the one with corn on her head. Yeah, that's the one I think had page energy. Oh, that one had the page energy. Yeah, she was like a bow, not a bow, but like a scrunchy kind of thing. and like a, I don't know how to explain that.

I got, and she's the brunette as well. She's the one I thought was going to be the new page. But she didn't seem to be very pagey once it went, once it started going. Yeah, Levi seems like the type that in about like 10 years from now, there'll be a piece in like Eater, L.A. about this person who used to be on reality TV and now has opened up like a really trendy cafe in East Hollywood. I can see that. Like homemade biscuits.

And like that's her whole thing is like, I did reality. TV and it was not for me. Like I can already see that stage of her life when she like turns that this chapter into like her hipster red badge of courage. Like I did that and it just was like so not for me. And so I just had to like leave that world behind and move to LA and like now I make these bacon scones and they just sort of like took off from there. And then it's like there's lines of hipsters at the block going to her to Levi's little scone shop. I love her. I want to go. Can I go to your scot shop. So, yeah, so it's Bailey and Levi.

Bailey is like a bombshell blonde. And she looks like Amanda Seafried, Seafreed, kind of. And she's like, yeah, I'm not the kind of person who would normally join a sharehouse. But my goal is to let loose and have fun and get out of my house because I'm like sick of myself. And I want to meet people the opposite of me, you know, because I need to try things and be around guys because I'm like a never around guys and I just want to be crazy, you know? Like, I mean, I'm already crazy, but like fun crazy, not just like crazy crazy.

It's going to be so fine. I can't wait. I found that her voice sounded like a Muppet Baby's version of Erica Jane. I don't know if that's anything that, if you picked up on that as well. But you know how like Erica Jane sort of talks in that like Clipped Way versus a little, but like we do an impersonation of Erica Jane, which is like, but if you actually really listen to Erica Jane, she seems to talk like this quite a bit. But this girl was like, tuck it like this a little bit. I just felt like it was like a Muppet Babies-ish. And that was like very amusing to me.

I don't know. I, I find like Erica Jane on her own, like not amusing. Muppet baby Erica Jane, very amusing. Yeah, I didn't really get it. I only got Amanda Seyfried and that she cried at the first dinner. And that I kind of liked her because she seems like kind of a mess. Is it possible that I'm just projecting things onto her and. No, I'm not just like I'm not knowing.

I'm just creating. these these personas. I'm like, oh God. She just seems like like she fucks guys all weekend long

and good for her. I love her. I'm just like creating their own characters. The other one has Bacon scones, a bacon scone trademark. The other one's like a,

she's like a, she's like a 1978 Meryl Street with that blonde hair. She's always in a divorce battle with Dustin Hoffman. So Amanda's like, so how long have you been friends?

She's like, well, it feels like it's been child. but it's really only been two years. So Bailey says, so we met on Instagram and like, she DM me and she was like, well,

we have way too many mutual friends. Like, how do we not know each other? And then I was like, you're so cute. You're right. So we went to coffee. And like literally an hour later,

I was like sitting on our couch. Like, day one, I was on her couch. Like, it's crazy. Yeah. Like,

we're total friends. She has a couch. So then Amanda starts immediately bitching, which I think is so funny. So they're like, oh my god yeah like we're such good friends like we rage like we have such a good time we love couches we go party together we're each other's best friends and amanda's like yeah Kyle rages a lot too without me at the club because he's a DJ a fucking DJ loser

we couldn't be more different about it he's always out late because he's a DJ come hey Kyle you're like okay well nice to meet you yeah nice thing you too fun fun drive that we have at of us. How long have you guys been married? She's like, um, four very long years.

He just started DJing. And Bailey's like, um, are we into the DJ vibe? Or you said he was over 40, right? And he just started, right?

Are we into that or? She's like 100% not supportive. She goes, yeah, that's a midlife thing, girl. It happened to my dad.

And then Sierra and Amanda to start cracking up. Because of course, like Kyle is being compared to these girls' dad without them even thinking twice about it. And he was like, wait, your dad was a DJ? And she goes, no, no, it wasn't a DJ, but he did buy 18 motorcycles when he turned 45. So, like, I could see you doing that to yourself, you know, Levi, like becoming a DJ and staying out every night, like being tired all the time.

Like, DJ Bacon's scone. So Levi is like, um, DJ Bacon's scone. I don't think that Kyle's doing this because I just met you. But I do feel like people use that as an excuse to just like, Bailey, will you help me out? You're right, go out and leave their wives. Yeah, I think that's what's happening here. Do you ever think that?

That was a nice way to put it because her face said, that man is cheating on you constantly. That is an excuse for your man to go out and fuck young people at night. That is what he is doing. I feel like Levi has a, like, I feel like her face says a lot of things. Her face is often saying something along the lines of that man is cheating on you. And I really like that in her. Yeah, I do too.

I find it refreshing when someone's like, I don't know you people and I don't care. Your husband's probably cheating on you. You know that right. Has anybody told you that? Oh my God, are you the internet? So then Sierra's like, yeah, that might have something to do with it. So we see a flashback to Sierra and Amanda talking five weeks ago. and Amanda's like, I wanted him to start partying.

So he found a career where he stays out late in parties. I'm like, should I be mad? And Sierra's like, I think you should be fucking pissed about it. So we back to the president and Sierra says, people are just like becoming DJs because they don't want to go home. And I think that like people should just be honest about that. So, um, yeah, not great. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crap and's commercial. So now the girls arrive at the Hamptons, and they basically park their car and leave the trunk open to the guys take in their bags. And then they go up to the front door. And it's like, it's like tense because we all are bracing for this door to be stuck. And it opens up smoothly. I'm actually, at this point, I'm actually a little upset. I'm upset that they fix the door. I think that like it's, yeah, you know, it's like, it's part of the experience.

You can't be upset. This is summer house. And this is the, this is the show of changing men. That door is a man. That door is like, hi, I'm Door 4.0. I'm different. I've totally changed. And within three weeks, it'll be stuck again, locking people out.

I hope so. I really do. So they have some drinks. And then they go outside. There's like a whole Carnival County Fair thing that's set up in advance of West Party. And there's like a little, it's not like a carousel, but it looks like a carousel. It's like a gazebo. So they all climb into it and everything.

And they're like, oh, this is cool. This is fun. Yeah, I like when they saw chairs at their front door. And Sierra's like, that's giving luck. There's chairs. So they go in, they get some drinks going and look at the backyard and stuff like that. And Leva's like, oh, my God, I love games. Like, oh, my God, me too.

We're best friends. That's where we're friends. We love games. So they're trying to guess who is going to walk into the house first and they go outside to, you know, talk, whatever. Because Summer House, we complain about this on Housewives, but it's. 10 times as bad on Summer House. It's like half an hour of hellos. It's like, hi, hi, hi.

Every weekend they come. They're like, oh my God, hi. They hug each. What are you doing? Oh, my God, hi. You look so cute. So they do that. And meanwhile, West and KJ arrive.

Yeah. And then they see the bags and they're like, we're not taking those in. So they just walk in and they say hi. KJ introduces himself to all the girls and stuff. And West is like, did you guys leave the trunk open so that like we'd get your shit? And Sierra's like, that's exactly what we did. That was your first test. And Sierra tells us, you know, West, to tackle the subject of West.

In the past, it's been hard for me to sort my big feelings. But my goal for the summer is that I'm just, I'm not going to eat them alive. I'm working on being less rigid. And I'm working on being less of a bitch. So, you know, that's good. because if she was still, she was still upset at West this summer. And she's allowed to still be upset,

but we all know the rule on these shows is you're allowed to have a feud with someone for one season. But if you carry it into a second one, it's done. It's done. And the audience is going to turn against you. So she's doing the right thing by changing her attitude. So the guys are making small talk with the noobs. And Bailey is from Indianapolis, which is huge.

It's a big deal. And Sierra's talking about the first weekend. And they're complimenting each other's glass. and stuff. And KJ is like, oh, yeah, this is my first time to the Hamptons. I was in Europe for the past two years for like modeling, but like prior to that, I'm just like a pro skateboarder. So I'm skating a lot and shit. That's what I do. If you're ever wondering, what would KG do? The answer is skate. He's skate. Yeah, what I do. I'm skater. Skater. Yeah, I got my first skateboard when I was like six or seven. And then I, when I was 19, I went viral for a trick that I

invented. Yeah, I invented a trick. It was he a shot of him. doing this trick where he's like, skateboard's like on like a bench or something and he's like, goes over it, but then it's like, it comes off and then he goes and he lands. It's like, yeah,

I was trying to figure out, because I'm not like a skateboard person, obviously. I do love the idea of things that roll you places. So I always love the idea of a skateboard, but I just kept falling off. I couldn't do it. But yeah,

he does, I've seen the thing where you jump the skateboard on to like a bar or something. And then he slides it down the bar. And then it goes off the bar. And did he invent the part where he flips his skateboard before it goes back to the ground? I don't think so. I think it's that maybe it's that he had like one leg off of it or something like that. I don't know.

Let's see. What skateboard trick did K.J. invent? Okay. K.J. Dillard. Oh, Dillard's. So the one foot crooked grind.

I mean, obviously, Ronnie, the one for crooked grind. Yeah. You got it. The one foot crooked grind is a variation of a standard crooked, crooked grind where one foot is taken off the board during the grind. And he invented it. So look at that, everyone. One foot crooked grind.

Poor Kyle. He's still doing the two foot one. So old and lame. Dumbass. Yeah. As kids are going to be over here. You got to have two feet on the skateboard at all time. It's safe.

10 and three. So he's talking about New York Because I guess he's new to New York too So basically they just cast him to be on this show So he came And so he's trying to talk his way around it He's like yeah you know I had an interest in New York But like I don't know if I ever wanted to like live there

But I got anxiety thinking about it Because I have anxiety And when I first came here I was like Oh it's kind of dope you know Because like everyone in the Midwest is nice for no reason You know Like finally I came to New York And someone was like

What is that crooked grind? Straighten up your grind, you fucking loser. I was like, yeah, I'm home. Cricket grind. So, Wes is like, Hey, Amanda, have you ever written out here without Kyle? Yeah, and I just wanted to ride out with the girls, you know, find some happiness in life once, for once and for all.

So they're like, oh, where is he anyway? And so now Jesse is 7.206 people. I would have ridden out with Kyle, but I was afraid he would leave in the middle of the drive to go to a DJ set somewhere. So 7.26 p.m. Jesse, Carl, and Kyle arrive. They say hi. They meet KJ. They come on in. West is like, by the way, Carl, KJ's dad played for the Pirates.

Oh, whoa. That's amazing. Yeah, throughout the first pitch at the Paris game recently. So I guess you would say that I played for the Pirates too. Oh, softball. Softball. Kind of invented a move. the crooked, the crooked catch ball grind.

Cricket catch a ball on one foot grind. It's pretty big. The crooked soft. It's soft. Crickets you throw a ball with one foot. It's softly. You have to be soft on one foot. It's different.

It's a variation. Yeah. I don't know. You'll hear about it because they'll be in the mix this year. So get ready. So Kyle comes in and he's like, oh, guys, if anybody has stuff in the car is about to downpour, who's bad to be down poor out there

and Sierra says okay the GMC the girls car you guys can we talk about this Kyle police he's like what you need you can't get your own luggage what is this a team effort like your muscles don't work like what's going on the guys have to do it huh

it's literally about to rain so Sierra tells us that you know Kyle's my friend but I don't like when I hear things from Amanda about how she's being treated and then I have to sit there and smile and giggle in your face knowing these things but like I can't get involved because it's not my marriage. I'm like in polite society,

that is correct. But you're on a reality TV show, so have at it. That's what I say. Yeah, I believe in not getting involved in your friend's marriages. But if they're doing it at the dinner table, you bet my, you bet your ass I'm going to be involved because that's what you get. If you fight at dinner, I'm going to take a side and I'm going to tell you what my side is because I'm going to be

in the fight. People aren't going to fight at dinner without me in the fight. I'm going to get in the fight too. So don't fight a dinner then. Yep, yep, yep. So Kyle's getting really mad because Sierra does not want I grab her own bags and I said, but I'm going to storm. Like we need to come out, group ever, like the whole place is going to sweep away. It's crazy. Come on. And everyone just is ignoring Kyle.

And he's like, has that dumbfounded look on his face. Like, guys, why can't anyone see there's like a storm? We got to do this. And just got to commercial break on Kyle being frustrated that no one wants to help him take bags out of the car. Yeah. So now it's room time. They start talking about rooms and where they're going to go.

It's announced that Carl is going to mix it up. I'm going to mix it up to the season. And so they're picking rooms. And then Amanda's showing the nobs, their rooms, and they're going to get to room together because they're new. And Amanda's like, Kyle, by the way, don't embarrass yourself in front of the new girls. Like, don't go too hard in the pain. Yeah.

Like, oh, yeah, well, thanks for the pep talk. And so Carl is meanwhile, like, staging his room. He's like, well, it's the first summer. First summer, I'm going to sage. I'm going to smudge out all the badness. Now that I'm in the mix, I'm going to put some sage in the mix, too. You know, summer 2035 is summer of Carl, Carl 10.0, because I'm confident and I'm healthy.

And what everyone wants to hear from the least lame person in the house, we're going to be running a marathon. Yeah, you heard of your first. I'm running in the marathon. I'm the annoying runner guy, oh, officially. Well, I've been the annoying runner guy, but now I'm like, annoying for a longer distance. know. So, you know, I've been sober. I've been healthier all these years. And now I'm finally

becoming like a real human, human being who's in the mix and running in the mix for 26 miles. Yeah. Sierra's joking with Jesse about having a bench in his shower. And he's like, hey, hey, open my door policy, by the way, that wasn't clear. You can always come use the bench in my bathroom. And then Sierra and Jesse are sort of like hanging out on a bed together. and she's like, oh my God, you're so fucking anal because she gets on his bed and she has her shoes on. And he's like, could you not put your shoes?

Like he gives her a look like he's smiling through gritted teeth. Like, please don't put your shoes on my bed right now. She's like, oh, fine, I'll take my shoes off. Yeah, so they talk about missing page. And he's like, yeah, she'll be hard to replace her all gossip with you guys in bed. And she's like, yeah, it'll be perfect. I mean, you can't replace page. but you know if you want to be a part of the gossip girls you can but you just have to keep your mouth shut okay

do you think you can do that he's like uh literally shut it right now it's shut it's not shut a fly just went into your mouth close your mouth it's close it's not get the fuck out of it you're not going to be part of this group you open mouth motherfucker no i will not say anything that i hear in bed she says well i want you to repeat that back to yourself i will not share any share anything i hear in bed but I will bring bountiful information, which is a lie. He will bring bountable information, but he will also bring bountiful information

from the bed to others, I guarantee it. Yeah, we know these shows. The guys are the worst gossips on the whole show. So they pinky promise, and then Amanda Wester in the kitchen, and she's like, oh my God, do you have a C on your phone? What is that?

Is that for Sierra? And he's like, it was on my kickball jersey for captain, but now that you mentioned, I guess it does stand for Sierra. God damn it. She's like, well, it's so weird, because you haven't seen your phone for Sierra.

You know, that's also a different way you can spell. Kyle. Then we go to Jesse and Sierra, and Jesse's like, so do you think that you and Wes are going to get back on like friendly terms this summer? She's like, I guess only God will tell if he's not busy. Probably has other things to deal with and try to predict what my relationship with West

is going to be, yeah, because it's not in God's hands. It's in your hands. She's like, yeah, I've been praying about it. It's a joke, by the way. I'm not praying about it at all. He's like, no way, that's huge. You've been praying about it? Wow.

It's like, yeah, don't make it a big deal. Just wipe that smile off your face. It is. I'm not smiling. You are. Stop smiling. I'm not. Stop fucking.

I'm not. Get out of my bed. So then we go to Bailey and Levi, they're walking by the room and they see them in the bed talking. And they're like, oh, my God. Sorry to interrupt you. We just wanted to see who was in what room, but it's you. So, okay, I guess you can go back to it. We'll just go over here.

As we kind of interrupted a moment there. Okay, just newbie alert. Don't mind us. And then Kyle, Amanda and AJ are, and West are in the kitchen. And Kyle's like, I just realized my friend Ben also modeled and he is coming tomorrow too. And Amanda's like, wow, models. Yeah, models.

Yeah. He's like, I'm just saying, I think they'll, I think they're going to get along because like KJ is a model. Ben's a model, you know? Because like models, they get along naturally. I have to do is put two models in a room and then just they talk. I mean, what are models do?

I don't know. They'll be in a room together. Tell you this much, it'll be thin. With thin people. Thin people in a room. I really know. What do models talk about? As we all know, models are the most fascinating people in the world.

So it's really great that Bravo cast two of them on their show this year. So, Bailey is asking KJ how long he's been a model. And he's like, I don't know, like six or seven years, something like that. I don't know. They call me a crooked model because I can model on one foot. That's pretty cool. So, um, West is like, yeah, guys, Kyle is like a little older than us, but he's like the craziest motor on a human being I've ever seen, guys. And they're like, oh, my God, like he doesn't stop.

Yeah. Like, I'll be like, Kyle is fucking four. Let's go to bed. Yeah, and then he comes to bed at four of the morning and goes, Kyle, I mean, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, and post me and post me until I wake up and remember that I'm extremely depressed that I married this fucking loser. I mean, she's just really coming for Kyle. She's not letting up on Kyle. But maybe justifiably so. And Bailey goes, oh, hell no, I would kill you.

It's like, well, you're 20. I mean, how old are you? She's like, I'm 30. Wow, she's 30. I would not have guessed that. I didn't even hear her say that. I didn't hear her say that either. I thought she was like 27.

And West's like, oh my God, saying you're 30, but I'm also kind of like 13. I'm like kind of a little boy, you know? So were you born in 95? She's like,

yeah, I was. And I got 95. Shortly thereafter I had my first oral sex. Ha! Like while we were being born or. So now Carl comes out. He's like,

wow. Hey guys. It's me. Do you recognize me? Am I different? In the mix. I'm in the mix. Hey guys, ordering a pizza.

I'm ordering a pizza. I'm going to order like 10 pizzas. What do you think of that? Hey, I would normally ask what sort of toppings everyone wants, but these pizzas are all going to be in the mix. So it should be a little bit of everything. Just in the mix right now.

So now Kay James here on the couch talking. And he's like, yeah, you know, like I can hang with boys, but like I grew up around women. So, you know, I have younger sisters. and my mom raised me and she's like, oh, so you know female energy. So where does your family live? And he's like, yeah, Arizona, but like I'm from Kansas City, but I'm from Arizona. And then my mom's a nurse.

She's like, oh, my God, my mom's a nurse. And I'm a nurse. He's like, yeah, great. I see you. By the way, another fuck boy warning is the, I was raised by women. So I understand women and I get along with women in a different way. that's also usually a very good tactic. Although, oddly enough,

I'm not getting like crazy fuckboy vibes off of KJ. I think honestly the anxiety thing works really well on me because I'm like, well, he can't be a fuck boy. He's got anxiety. He's probably focused on himself right now. But that would be actually total fuckboy behavior. So now they're starting to set the table for the pizza and Sierra spills on herself.

And Carl is like, all right, everyone's, Well, I want to make a speech from the mix. Okay, just want to say Carl 10.0 is here. I hope you guys are ready for some pizza. It's going to be a bit of a marathon session, which is my way of saying. I'll be running a marathon. So, guys, you and me, I'll be up at 7 in the morning running all over the place.

But we have a lot of single people here. So all the single ladies, all the single ladies. Get your hands up for some pizza. It's like, yeah, literally everyone's single except the married people. And Carl's, yeah, we've got a hardware. We didn't bring her hardware. And he lifts his hand. And Amanda goes, no, it's because Kyle lost his wedding ring.

And I said, I'm not wearing mine until he gets a new one. And it gets kind of awkward. And Jesse's like, it's okay. You can constantly a single. I think they're already doing that. Also, the Kyle lost his wedding ring, so I'm not going to wear mine until he gets a new one. It's a strange, that's a strange perspective, I think, unless she believes that. that, I mean, unless it's all a lie, right?

They're just not wearing their wedding rings because they're... Well, yeah, he's going out to clubs every night, DJing without his wedding ring. I think she's like, yeah, I'm not going to wear mine then. What am I a fucking moron? I'm just going to sit here with this chain around my finger while you're out there fucking 20 year olds. No, sir. No. Yeah.

So then out of nowhere, Levi's like, okay, hi, I'm Levi. I just got out of a 12-year relationship. And they're like, whoa, what? How old are you? She goes, yeah, it's like super fresh. I mean, it's not super fresh. because it was two years ago. So how old were you when you started dating?

It's like, yeah, I was 15. So I'm just like truly finding out who I am now without this man. You know what I mean? He's like 15 to like now. It's been crazy. And they're all kind of doing the math in their head. And Bailey says, yeah, like you have no dating experience. I was in a relationship for two years.

It was super toxic. He cheated on me. And then he broke up with me at Sweet Green. And sweet green. Oh, my God. not sweet green i mean not even kyle would do that i mean and he's terrible he told me to meet him in sweet green and when i got done at the gym and carl's like oh did he do it before after you ate or after you ate because like that's a big salad um it's an

that's an expensive salad do you know if he uh if he had a good workout by the way beforehand i'd love just just just curious it's a good workout at the gym no whole she's like it was before because They're like, I remember salad spilling everywhere. And everyone's like, what? Cause like, you spilled the $20 salad? How could you do that? Well, because I had ordered the motherfucker a salmon salad because I knew he liked salmon. Oh, my God, one of the more expensive items on the menu.

Wow. Yeah. And so he walked to the front door. He dropped my keys on the table. And then I look up and he's just staring at me and said, I'm moving out. And he points and everything he owned was in a suitcase outside the sweet green. And he just walked out. First of all, by the way, I'd like to say you have everything you own in a suitcase and you leave it outside the sweet green.

I'm not taking my hand off that thing. Who leaves her suitcase outside the sweet green in New York City? That's crazy. That's going to get stolen. So she's like, so I dropped the salad and I chased after him. And I was like, what do you mean you're moving out? I just got you a salmon salad. Where are you going?

And then he moved to L.A. The next day, you guys. The next day. L.A. Wow. Talk about bitter greens as opposed to a sweet green hawk. Carl's 11.0 loves that joke. Wow.

That, that breakup salad was made from a rootula. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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