Watch What Crappens - #3204 Southern Charm S11E10 Part One: Snitchy Grass Farms

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recap!The cast heads to Whitner’s family farm for swimming, burgers, and gossip on Southern Charm. Was Salley being a good girlfriend to Charley? Or was she undermining? To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening,, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today in an adorable yellow cap. It's the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello, nothing. What are you doing? Exciting times. It is exciting times.

Just hanging out with you. And it's exciting for us because just yesterday, we put two. have two things that happened. One is that the live stream for the crappies, the tickets for that went live and that's available at watchworkcrapins.com. So if you can't come to the show or if you can't even, even can't even be there that night, you can still check out the live stream. That's going to be presented by Kizwe and that's that's the night of the show. But also that will go for two weeks after the show. So if you can't even sit down for the live stream that night because you've got something to do, don't worry for two weeks. That live stream will be available for.

you to watch or replay of. And then on top of that, we also have voting that's open for round one of the golden crappies. Have your voice heard already there have been several thousand to have voted, which is very cool. Lots of cool categories like, you know, best DJ and mother of the year, biggest scandal, most cringe, things like that. Today we're talking about Southern Charm and it's gotten some nice nominations,

particularly in the cringe category, which is no shocker there. you're pretty little frackled lips gorse um also patreon patreon patreon dot com slash watch for crappins come join us over there we got bonus episodes like the traders and uh we'll have a new traders episode up tomorrow and then on top of that there's um video crappins on demand where you can watch us and a newsletter where you can get all the updates weekly updates about what's going on with our lives and bravo et cetera et cetera etc so join us for all those super fun things we love to have you i think that's all the exciting stuff huh ronnie very good let's get on with it it's southern charm season 11 season 11 wow god i'm just hitting me it's a long time episode 10 two truths and a single guy oh

guys i wonder if austin and craig are going to fight yeah yeah exactly um It's a very exciting episode where everyone gets into cars and goes to Winder's estate. And then the episode ends. So, yeah, it is another episode. It is very Southern Charmed this episode because it's an episode where Craig gets called out for what he actually did and then lies. And then everyone turns against the person that said it instead of the person that's lying, which is Craig. It's so frustrating. Why didn't we see Craig say this?

Why did they not show a replay of it the entire episode? I kept on waiting for the flashback and they just... How did they not? How did they not? So annoying, Craig gets away with everything that guy because it's a cute little smile. I know, but like it's just strange how anyone could say anything. Anyone could could cue any flashback and Bravo will jump at the chance. Like if someone says, oh my God, I love coffee. You know what I love is?

I love a cold brew and they'll be like three days earlier. I'll have a cold brew, please. And it's like back to present. Like they love throwing a flashback for context. But it was just like, I kept on waiting all episodes. I was like, okay, well, they haven't shown it yet. But maybe they're waiting for a really impactful time later in the episode. But they did not touch that.

And I'm like, I'm not crazy, right? We saw him say that to someone. He said it to Shep. Was it at the dinner, right? Yeah, was it at the dinner. Yeah, I'm scrolling through the notes now. So I can have the exact quote. I'm also surprised that we never got a clear.

of Shep telling Sally this. Maybe that's why they didn't want to show. I don't know. It was so strange that they did. They did a weird edit there too where they flashed back, but they instead of saying what Craig said, they just showed the scene. So we didn't hear what Craig actually said. But then when Shep repeated what Craig said, Craig had bungled even the gossip.

He made it. Well, we'll get to it when we get there. But they're tricky. They're being tricky with Craig. And I'm wondering why. What are you protecting his pillow empire? Come on. Yeah, seriously.

So it's the day after Austin's birthday. And Shep is stretching in the park, stretching his leg on like an enormous cannon. I don't know why that was funny to me, just like his foot. Gosh, I'm on a relic of a different water from a different time. And there are some geese that are honking because the geese are like, even the geese know to get away from Shep. And Wittner rolls up and he's like, hey, old ass getting a stretch in. He's like, gosh, yeah, did you exercise already? He's like, yeah, I wake up at the 4 in the morning and worked out because I have a job.

So I've exercised. I've walked the dog. I've watered my garden. I've called my mother. I've exercised the staff. Yeah. I had chit chat with Barb at the front desk. Had lunch.

Went to more work. Well, guess what, guys. It's a Wittner weekend. We don't see much of Wittner, but he's hosting an event, an event at his compound. So he's talking to his mom. So farm weekend, I need to know how many people are coming. Okay, how many of them are married? That's extremely important.

How many of them are planning on getting married? Marriage is very important in the South. Everybody must have out of have children, or they're not welcome on this farm. I was so excited to meet Wittner's mom after he described her as an anarchist earlier in the season or like a rebel or something like that, someone who loves to upend traditions and is a wild child. and man, it was like going to the house and sit in Nancy.

I'll tell you that much, arriving at this police. She's like, I'm an anarchist. We meet her wearing an apron in a kitchen. She's like wearing all white and apron in a very nice Nancy Meyer's kitchen. Yeah. Down with the man. I'm going to get back back cookies before I sent him down. Tell you that much.

Down with that. man and by man I mean pan and by pan I mean the copper-plated pan that I've got up there you make a lovely casserole my copper-plated pan I mean a can of beans we're cooking over the fire okay everybody gather ran so uh they're talking um about Madison coming you know and uh shop's like well I don't even know how it's going to affect the weekend because those two Austin and Craig are having a real tate on tate yeah why do you say it that way He says a lot of intelligent things because I think he reads a lot, but he doesn't use them in conversation much. So they always sound incorrect.

And I get it because I do that shit all the time. I mispronounce words all the time because I read a lot of books. But who am I going to say words like that too? You know, I was saying macabre until like three years ago. That's almost like a Hanukkah icon. Judas Macabur. I do that too. Well, also, I think I've mentioned before in this podcast that somewhere over the past few years for whatever reason.

in my brain. My default is to say, um, um, um, apropo instead of apropos. And I don't know why I do that now, but I think it's kind of like if you don't say a word enough, that suddenly you default to some strange pronunciation. Yeah. Jeff being like, teatat. I'm like, what? Tata tetea. Teat. Yeah. Tater at tater. They're having a real tater or tater. They can't stop fighting over French fries. Gorge. It's like Tate McCray got mad at T McCray. So he says it's just a complete lack of understanding with each other. And I would also wait just say a complete lack of brain cells amongst both of them as well.

Well, there's also lack of understanding. Yeah, there's also lack of understanding because you take everything that they're saying and then you run to them and then you reword it. So it's not you're part of the problem. I like whenever, because every season consists of two of the guys going against each other. know, they team up on each other. And the one that's not in the fight gets to act innocent all year. And I love it. This is a big innocent ear where he's like, I just wish everybody could get along.

Gosh. Gosh. Sorry everyone. My phone just rang. Apologies. Yeah, there's always somebody. Yeah, it's Shep getting to be the innocent one and the mediator is always so funny. I have to say, that's why I liked season one of J.T.

Before he let fame sort of, before he started. before he started to be like a reality star and tried to be super camera thirsty, which I mean, he was season one too, but like season one, he kind of broke up that drama triangle a little bit because he was like a fourth piece and it was a little discombobulating

because he really, honestly, if you think back, he's really been the only new male they've been able to bring on like since the Ravenel days that's been able to kind of be impactful in that dynamic because the other guys just circle around. I thought you were talking about J.D. I was like, who? You're the first person discussing Bravo that's ever like, wow, that's why J.D. was good.

Yeah, guys. It took me a minute. The way he just destroyed his wife and you watch your soul. It's like what are, Ben is going off the rails right now. No, no, no. The guy from last year who sold everything to live in the Bahamas. I mean, he sucks. Don't get me wrong.

That guy sucks. And season two was just like one of the. was palatial, not palatial. What am I talking about? He had a palatial failure. And now I'm talking like, Shep, Tait. It was a real tight to tight. But you know what I'm talking about?

Like, they brought in a lot of guys who sort of swirled around the central trio, but I've never really been able to kind of, like, penetrate their drama. And J.D. was J.T. was the only one who really did. But, oh, well. Oh, well, he fucked that one up. Yep, he really did. So, um, Shep's like, I've been on vacations with Austin and Craig and. There have been freaking blowouts, but then the next day we just ignore it.

It's like nothing ever happened. That's how we do it in the South. Yeah, great. And then we see last night they're fighting and Craig saying, he made my drinking problem about him. That's insane. Chip. What?

I feel manipulated now because I vow I see you drink. Oh, gosh, I think that also is like, man, I've been beleaguered in this relationship for, years. My tate has been going up against another tete. Let me just do Austin. Austin Rosetta Stone.

What Austin means is he's beleaguered. Austin would not Austin did not mean beleaguered. Austin doesn't know beleaguered. No. It's not Austin language. See, stop translating things, Shep. And so then Shep's like, it's almost like a breakup.

Except they didn't do it on a group trip after you'd bought them a A blacklidon necklace. Oh, of course. So when you're like, all right, well, as long as my parents are insulated from this bullshit, I don't care. Because my parents are rebels. And the last thing they need to see is bad behavior from guests. The last thing an agitator wants is bad behavior.

But also, why are you inviting these people to your house? That's like inviting, I don't know, a swimming pool in and then asking that the walls don't get mold. I mean, you're inviting crazy people to your house. Exactly right. That's the exact analogy I was thinking of too. You hear it every day, Ben. You hear it every day. Knock knock. Who's there? Swimming pool. Okay, well, as long as you don't get the mold on my walls. I did have, I did have family who had an indoor swimming pool, and they had all this mold in their walls. And I was like, it's because you have a swimming pool inside, you fucking dumb asses. Like, what do you think?

Some people just don't get it. They just don't get it. What do you expect from people who own a candy factory? A bunch of sugar, bunch of sugar drug addicts. Just all cracked out. Like, let's put a pool, the pool on the inside.

They own a candy factory? Yeah, my cousins owned a candy factory in El Paso, Texas. I love just like 14 years in the learning of so many of long details about your family. Yeah, it was amazing. They didn't like me very much because I misbehaved a lot. And of course,

I was the only chunky one. It's like they don't like the person who, really stands for their products the most. I was the one who believed in candy. And they were like, don't invite Ronnie over. He shamed us for having a pool inside, that little fat bastard. Keep him out of here. Keep him out of the candy factory.

I did get to go there. But you know what? I went to the candy factory on a school trip. It wasn't even a family trip. Like the family didn't take me there. I had to go there on a school trip. It was very famous. It was a very famous factory. So I went in there and I saw it and I was like, this isn't like Willy Wonka. So it was kind of disappointing. And also, they were hard

candy makers. They weren't like chocolate. people, you know, they made hard candies and stuff. Yeah, and I still, I'll see those family members very occasionally in like family reunion, whatever, somebody dies, you know, and I just always think, hmm, enjoy your sucker candies, mold people. Do they, do they still have the candy factory? I don't think so. Oh.

Well, their loss. Yeah, they're lost. Too bad. Too bad they didn't have you because, you know what they always say about you, Ronnie? You really broke the mold. It's time for a commercial It's time for a crappence commercial Also, why are Wittner's parents at this?

Why are they here this weekend? If we're my parents, I'd be like, please leave for the weekend. I'm bringing all the friends over. Please, like, if I don't want my parents to see the bad behavior, I'm sending them off. Like, they have another house, I'm sure. Go there. Yeah, I mean, we're doing drugs all weekend in the pool.

You know what? I mean, the very least mushrooms, you know, so yeah, I don't, my parents can't be there. Also, I don't like my parents there because everyone's like, oh, my God, your mom's so great. What are you complaining about? Like, what are you traumatized from? You know, I get that a lot. So I'm like, leave. You're not going to.

I'm like, I love your mom. Exactly. Well, I mean, she's really fun and funny. But, you know, we're all different in a familiar situation. Anyway, the point is, that's why. That's why I don't invite you over. Exactly. Right there.

So then we go, they jog, and then we go over to Patricia's house. And it's a Whitney and Patricia scene. Come on in. You promised me you would get rid of that mustache. Oh, well, you keep nagging me, but I think I'll do a Victorian era of mutton chops. Like a walrus. Oh, mother, mother. Okay.

Well, you're not too old to spank, Whitney. He's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, so, mother, how are you? Have you been sitting on this sofa since last week? Well, I've been doing research. I'm sure you can see this gigantic book of a magazine thing on here. And it is Bagpipe Monthly. I am researching bagpipe players for the ceremony I want to have for Chauncey.

Oh, do we read a song or something from the Bible or should we have Randy do a remix, bagpipe remix? What do you think? I think we should read your father's will again. It's better than the Bible telling you. So they're going to invite Austin to the Chauncee ceremony because he loved, he loved Chauncee. And when he's like, well, yeah, he loved with Chonty. And speaking of Austin, by the way, last night, he had a birthday dinner. We were in a tiny little booth in a restaurant.

We made a lot of noise. It was really bad. It was the worst I'd ever seen a mother. It was, I'm shocked that Austin would, I mean, despite all the acrimony, tell Craig that he hates him, but it just kind of came out of the field. It didn't really come out of Lafield for me. I've been watching this show. Yeah.

He's like, wow, of the 11 years of us going out, that was one of the most tumultuous centers I've ever, ever experienced. Well, I think that's sad. I'm sorry to hear that. What is this town coming to? Men turning against men. Have we not brought any young women for y'all to throw your hate at? Patricia, trying to, like, summon some sort of sympathy

for the situation when in her mind it's like it's just two poor idiots fighting why am I supposed to care about this? Did you not hear me when I said I'm going through bagpipe monthly? One guy's from Delaware, the other one has cats. Why am I supposed to care?

What's their pedigree? Now we go over to Austin's House. This is very sad Austin's episode. Because he has broken out with the love of his life, Audrey. Okay. This relationship was never real. Maybe the only person I think this relationship might have felt real to was Audrey.

But I don't think anybody else in the world thought that this relationship was real. But, you know, give him his violence. Give him his garage band violins for an episode. Yeah. So Austin, he finally gets to make use of the props that he bought this season. His cats. He's like, ah, pipe, pipe, there you are. You know Piper's like, please don't call me Pipe.

Oh, finally, somebody's willing to do a bagpipe scene with me. No, I was talking to my cat. Disgusting. Come over here, do what you're supposed to do and give me emotional support and maybe look sympathetic to America. Come on, Pipe. Piper's like, ew. Yeah, I don't like this. Yeah, he's really laying it on thick today.

He's got his sympathy from his breakup and the cats. Yeah, truly. Literally got kids. Yeah. So I'm surprised he didn't have like a thing on his fridge. Like, look, this is somebody I adopted on late night TV. I send them, I send them 10 cents a month. It's changed your life.

So the cat's, uh, the piper does not want to be with Austin and basically scrums out and starts, uh, attacking martini. And then, uh, Austin's like, all right. Well, I guess I'll go my next sympathy. Prop. Madison. So he calls up Madison and she's like, say you got some tea? He's like, yeah. I mean, uh, sort just like some burst is up.

funny enough, I just felt like calling you. She's like, what? That's crazy. Why are you being such a beta today? Well, she's like, I don't know. It's my birthday and I don't know. I'm sad. Let's see more flashbacks. Tell me about being sad. I'm pregnant. I'm over here binging my face. I thought you say half an apple. Can't find corn from three miles. I'm losing my mind. That's a corn shortage. Did you know that there's a bagpipe convention in town? They all eat corn. None of the Teeter Harrises have it.

You walked by that convention all years. All right, what happened? And so we see a flashback of the, you bitch about being friends with me. You're still friends with me. You bitch about your girlfriend. You're still with her. Oh, my God, dude.

I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. He's like, well, I'm not surprised. But at this point in time, I have bigger thought in my mind. So I don't care about the status of me. me and Craig's friendship. I love the idea of Austin having bigger thoughts in his mind. I'd like to insert bagpipe music.

I know. Did he see a Doritos commercial or something? Whoa. Triangles. All right. Let's go over to Craig's house. Charlie is hidden behind a large painting. and she's finally sold him a painting.

Garbage painting. What was this high, what was this high school, like art school, art class project that Craig bought? Like, it was just, I'm sorry, it looked like that. It's modern art, Ben. It's called modern art. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to the, I'm sorry to the painter, the illustrious artists. We know it's just a retiree on like Hilton Head who sits on the balcony. And just paints things back Just throws some paint on I like the ones that just throw the paint That's what kind of artist I am

Like I like those drip art things Anything do you spill the paint onto the thing And move it around and then put it on the wall That's me Look you know I like that so But you know I wouldn't pay thousands of dollars for it It's the thing Yeah I like abstract art

Just as much as the next person Okay I like abshract as much as the next guy huh Okay Like give me a Rathco Okay But I don't know This one just looks it just looked like the thing you see someone trying to hawk at a flea market and you're like yeah well i see a lot of

that art because i'm you know i'm still on facebook because i'm an old lady and i see you know everything they feed me in my feed is like artists and stuff because i love like i said the drip painting stuff like that so i see a lot of those and there was one lady on there the other day and she's like i'm going to show you my plan to make 10 pieces of art a week and this is what she was doing it's just like slapping i'm like what are you bragging about you're literally just like spilling paint onto a thing and then moving it all over the place and charging $5,000 for it. I mean,

listen, if you were actually making what Craig asked for, which is like a penguin on velvet and watercolor, that would be impressive if you did like 10 of those. Someone better call up John Moody and get a real painting in here, okay?

Let's bring him back onto our screens. So, yeah, we see a flashback. to Craig being like, I like that painting. So this is continuing the tradition of buying things to impress people. So we had Sally buying chickens and Craig buying this paint to impress Charlie. So he's like, I'm going to have you hang it because that's what I do. That's my job.

And he's like, okay, come in, man. So they go in and Craig is going to measure the wall to see where to put it. And did he get out a ruler that's for paper? Like a big flat tabletop. That was a sewing ruler. that's what you use you put it on your fabric you do it you measure but at least he did have a level which was good and he understood the concept of the bubble inside it because you know him he's probably like my level's broken they got an air bubble in it so um you know you'd be like

that right i'd like to return this level there's a bubble Right. Yeah. So they get the, you know, they're putting the picture up. And he's like, hold on, 16 times four. Because he's using a short ruler. You know, don't you have a tape measure? Come on.

Tape measure. Don't use your fabric ruler. He's holding it here and then like marking it and then moving it over and the marking it and then moving it over. You could also just use your phone. You know, your phone has like the augmented reality. Use your jack. You know, you've got a jack.

Have Jack do it. Yeah, use your jack. Honestly, you could just use a piece of thread. Right? Yeah. So, um, method. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you, I guess what you're trying to do? Is you trying to just see how wide the space is?

Yeah, he's trying to center the painting. I'm just saying, put the string across and then you mark off where the string is. Then you can measure the string rather than doing the thing where you move this, because you know you're going to lose. It's not accurate when you put, like, like, like have the ruler and then you slide it over. You're always going to lose like half an inch because you're inaccurate and the lines be wobbly.

And let me tell you this much. Use your jack. We've already put five times more thought into this than Craig did. So they, Charlie Hammer is the nail into Craig's wall. And he's like, wow, for me, like I want to put my energy into the things that are bringing me joy and that are positive in my life and happy. Like Charlie with a hammer and a nail, this is. so much better than Austin. Do it again.

Yeah, you know, when I think of happy things on the show, I think of Charlie cowering and on the verge of tears before she does everything. Like, is it okay that I'm nailing your wall of Sally going to yell at me? Speaking of, Sally arrives at Charleston Head Spa. That's, you know, gay guys have been doing that for years and you all made it illegal. Charleston Head Spa, also known as Whitney's Lair. So Sally and Molly meet up and they, which is surprising, but they're going to make nice now because they've been sort of upset at each other this season in a low simmering feud. And Sally explains, me and Molly have known each other for like four years.

I mean, we worked at Republic together. We got really close. We used to hold that sign up and be like, happy birthday bitch. We text every day. So yeah, I just want to be friends with her again. So they, they have like a, they meet up and they're very nice to each other. And we see that, you know, because over the past few weeks they haven't been so nice. And Sally's like, I just really miss her, you know.

Vagina fight, vagina fight. I love a flashback to a vagina fight. Could you stop talking about my labia procedure? Sorry, I have a beautiful vagina. Are you jealous? Go get yours done. Go get yours done. Sally asks a very important question.

So they give them champagne And then they lay down And Sally goes, How am I supposed to drink champagne laying down? Yeah. It's one of those like if a tree falls in the forest thing. If you're lying down and you're giving champagne, how are you supposed to drink it?

You know. And you're drowning. But nobody's there to hear it. Did you drown on champagne in the head spa? I don't know. So she misses her. And Molly's like, well,

I love Sally, but like, I wonder if she's like trying to get back on my good side. Yes, probably she is. So they get their head massage and everything. And then they start talking about this weekend coming up. And Molly's like, well, I guess we're all be in a house together. And Sally is like with Veneta. Ew. And Molly's like, well, have you seen her?

She's like, no, no, we have not spoken because she like texting me the other day and said, Miss you stink. And they're like, stink. That's crazy. You guys are so weird. Yeah, I mean, I don't call her stink. Why'd she call me stink? That's crazy.

Does she drink champagne while she's lying down? I don't get her. Because you have multiple chickens that poop all over you and dogs that poop all over you and pee all over you. That's why. Any kind of stink. You probably stink. And she's like, yeah, I miss you stink like little stinky pants. She's like, yeah, but you know, like I just, I don't feel like Vanita wanted to pin us against each other.

But like, she starts shit and then she wants everyone else to take the, fall for it, but she wanted me to bring it to people and you, you know, then you think it was me and Vanita was guilty of this. This vagina. It's like, yes. This vagina fight. Vagina fight, yes. And I think that Vinita has been messy, messier than usual this season. I think she's been trying to be a reality star and we've applauded moments when she succeeded and derided moments when she hasn't. But I feel like Sally is making Vanita sound way more toxic than Vanita actually is. The fact that She's like she's pitted us against each other. Like, yeah, but like.

But Vinita did take credit. She did take credit for saying the vagina thing. Yeah. And you were the one talking shit about Molly. And you were the one who spread shit about Molly, first and foremost. And you are the one who's been toxic to people like Charlie. So, I mean, this is to me very just like projection. Well, no.

From what I remember, that conversation was Vinita going, well, Charlie, you know, Charlie did get her thing done, like who paid for that. And then they were like, oh, so she has like a sugar dad. So Vinita did kind of do that. No, that was, Vinita was messy there. But there was another moment where someone was a Venita. Someone said that Molly was, Molly was, oh, you know what it was? No, this was Sally.

Molly, remember Molly was drunk and she was talking to Corey in the beginning of the season. She's being kind of messy. And then Sally went and told someone, oh, wow, Molly was really being a mess. And then it got back to Molly that Sally had said that. And then Molly was mad at Sally because Sally was judging her for being drunk at that party. But the truth is whether or not, I don't know if I don't remember Vanita told Molly that because it's such a stupid thing. But ultimately it was still Sally who was talking shit. You know, I just feel like Sally.

I feel like I just don't, I don't know, it didn't sit well with me that Sally was making Vanita sound way more evil. in this situation that I think she was. I think she's just being based level messy as one would be on these shows. And she's like, yeah, Vanita's hands down. The only reason that me and Molly were even at each other because any rumors that were started have come from Vanita. And so then we see Vanita. Oh, well, here we go. We have a flashback.

Vanita and Sally sitting by Sally's pool. And Vanita saying, well, I had lunch with Molly. And she's not a big fan of yours, I don't think. So see, I mean Vanita. Vanita did. No, this. She did. 100%.

She, 100%. Like the vagina thing was all on Vanita. But I think Vanita is being messy. And Sally's actually making it out like Vinita's being calculating to try to tear them apart. And I'm like, I'm not sure about that yet. Like I need more evidence. Yeah, she's just being general messy. Yeah.

So then Molly's like, well, I'm good with Vanita. But like, I don't forget. I forgive, but I don't forget. And so now they, Molly's like, well, I'm sad. We let her pit us against each other. So let's not have that again. Let's not do it again. She's like, okay.

So yeah, Vanita got their raw into the deal on this one. And then we go over to Madison's house. And Madison is 34 weeks pregnant. We find out. And guys, charisma alert. Brett's calling. Hey, hey, hey, look handsome. He's like, hey, you too.

What are you doing? I think the baby's dropped. What do you think about that? Wow. No, really, he really did. He looks, I think he's rapping. Wow. I think I'm going into labor.

Wow. I just had the baby. Wow. Oh, wait, now, I didn't have a baby. I just, it's just Karen down there. I got confused sometimes. Wow. Okay, well, it was a great conversation, Brett.

I love our chemistry. Okay. Bye. Bye. He's so hot. Wait, are you going to hang up? No, I was waiting for you to hang out. The boy's always supposed to hang out before the girl.

Okay, I'm hanging up. Bye. Bye. Did you hang up? No. There was a moment we're saying, wait a minute, wait a minute, brad, bread, bread, bread. He's like, yeah. It's like, don't make this last longer than it needs to.

Hang up the phone. Yeah. The gas was leaking out of the car. So basically, Madison's saying how having a baby is scary. It's a lot of work. It's anxiety-inducing. And, but she's getting into the fun. final stretch, but she's still going to go up to Witteners because, you know, she's going to, she knows, she knows where her, for her bread is buttered. She's going to show up. So, uh, she's like, I just hope that's something to know how to deliver babies. How? So now we go to Vanita's house and she's packing and she like, she empties out like this tote bag of old clothing and there's like old orange juice in there, which is not great. And then everyone's packing because we're in the packing montage because everyone's going off to the country.

Packing, packing, Sally is trying to deal with her chickens. And she's like, oh my God, who took a poop and put it on top of the food? That is nasty, y'all. This is Vanita's fault. I don't understand why y'all keep kicking your chips into the water. God, I hate chickens. I know it was you, popcorn.

You're the only one that can fly up there. Little fucker popcorn. I hate these chickens. And then her dogs, like, terrorize the chickens. The dogs, like, go over the edge of the little basket and start barking at the chickens. And she's like, oh, my God. I'm sorry. She starts screaming.

She's like, you know what? Chickens, they're babies. They do not need to hear you screaming. Okay? You're stressing out the chickens. I'm on the chicken side. And finally, Sally's like, fuck these chickens. It's time for these chickens to go.

Please donate them to a farm at this point. It's cruelty. So now Wittner. Donate them to a Chick-fil-A. I mean, anything, you know? They'd be less scared, you know, at a chicken factory. She should give them to Craig. Craig's one who said he wants a chicken.

in the first place. Yeah. So then we go to Wittner's. And he's like, let's go, Bacchus. Smart dog. So now Shep comes and what does Shep say? Whatever, who cares?

Shep is going to drive with him. And then Craig comes over and he's like, what, what's up? I brought your mom some stuff. He's like, whoa, you got my mom some harvested honey? God, she's going to throw this on a dictator. I can guarantee you that.

Thanks for the weapon. Oh yeah. God, her group of fellow anarchists love self-harvested honey. Wow. So then they're, Hey, Craig, let's do rock paper scissors to see who gets to be shotgun, okay? I'm against violence. No, dummy, it's who can sit in the front of the car. Okay, one, two, three. So they do it. And Craig wins the first round. And his Jeff's like, okay, here comes round two. It's like, no. That's it. He's like, what? No, whatever does just one round of it? That's crazy, Craig.

Everyone only does one round. Nobody does one. God, got so sit in the back bars. So he's like, thanks for having us. I'm excited. So now they're driving off and Wittner's like, okay, we don't have enough like beds. So we're going to have glamping, okay? And there's AC in the glamps.

And Shep's like, just because you call it glamping doesn't mean it's not camping. I've been to Cuba. Oh, well, fuck it. I'm in, you know what? I'm in a good mood today. I'll take one of the tens. We're not enough of good mood to do two, three rounds of Rochabot.

Oh, gosh. So Wittner's like, it's like, cool, man. So now we go to Sally's house and she has arrived. She's going to be driving Molly and Charlie. Really, like, if your name ends with an L.Y, you're going to be in her car. The least. You're in it. Yeah.

Yeah. You're in it. Sorry, Vanita. So Molly has cut her face. She, what did she do? She ran into doors. What did she do? She cut it.

She cut it either with her key or her phone or something, but she got, she cut her face. And she's like, oh, my God, I am such, I'm such a clutz. Okay. Like, I once broke off a piece of my orbital bone off and I hit my face on a metal gate. And this is what I go through every day. God, I hate Vanita pitting me against inanimate objects. So Charlie comes and got everybody coffee. She's like, oh, this is okay.

Are you mad at me? I hope this coffee's okay. This is a seasonal beverage called, I'm so sorry, latte. I think you enjoy it. I'll be like sugar-free. Please say you like sugar-free. Don't hate me. So now they come, they get into the car to drive over there.

And Molly takes a front. She's like, yeah, I always default get the front. So I'm really excited. By the way, most likely place to cut my face driving is in the front seat. Yeah. And by the way, for those who are wondering, the answer is yes, I did notice that Sally was sitting, not Sally, that Charlie was sitting crisscross applesauce in the back seat without a seatbelt on while they drove on the highway. And I thought, that feels very dangerous.

And you're also doing it in the middle seat where if there's an accident, you have a direct path through the windshield. So enjoy that. enjoy that. Whatever. I know. And I knew, and by the way, and the other answer is yes, and I am aware that Ronnie would not care.

But I don't care. It's the back seat. It's the back seat. I'm not putting on a seat belt. It's the back seat. No. It's not on the front seat. Is it a law on the back seat now?

We've already been over this. You're just trying to start a fight about seat belts. Listen, I was raised in a time where there were bumper stickers on every car that said, buckle up. It's the law. And guess what? I'm a law abiding citizen.

in, okay? So I buckle up. I was raised in a time where they were like, when they passed the seatbelt laws, people were like, what are you trying to take away our rights? We don't got to wear a seat belts. We don't want to. It was like a huge thing where they tried to make us all wear seatbelts. And then my parents would put them on and be like, oh, God. Oh, geez, because I have to do stupid law. Glad we're paying our taxes. I just love how angry people get about seat belts. Well, I have moves.

I am curious. I put it on in the front seat. I put it on in the front seat all the time. It's just the back seat. I mean, the back seat, like, that's where you get away from the law. Like, the front seat is the law abiding. But if you get stuck in the back seat, you don't have to follow any laws, you're in the back seat. So 42 states plus DC enforce rear seatbelt use. But there are eight where it's like, no, I don't know what are the eight that don't enforce it. I'm just going to assume. I'm just going to assume it's like Texas is like, no, we won't put off back. You don't have to do that. Well, it says seatbelt laws vary significantly by state with New Hampshire being the only state without a law requiring seat belts for adults in the backseat. Well, New Hampshire, but New Hampshire is has a streak, you know, like the license plate's like, like, don't tread on me. New Hampshire is. You know what it's called. Okay. So New Hampshire is the only U.S. state that does not have a seatbelt law for adults because they maintain a live free or die stance.

That's what it is. Live free or die. They're so aggressive with their license plates. They're license. Because I went to school there and so you always used license plates. They're like, live free or die. I'm like, okay, relax. You're in like bucolic New Hampshire.

It's like beautiful scenery. Like the leaves are changing colors. There's like packs of seniors coming up in the fall to look at the foliage. As I leave free or die. And leaves are changing colors. You got pregnant. Well, I guess we know where I'm retiring. It's beautiful.

Live for your dot. I loved it there. So Austin, Austin comes to get Vanita and she's got coffee and champagne and stuff. And Rodrigo comes. The fun car. Rodrigo, Vanita, and Austin. More like live fun or die, am I right? Yeah.

So now we go back to Sally's car. And I don't know. They're all talking about who's riding. It's a road trip thing. I don't care. So they're all talking about who's going to drive with. And then there's a long pause. And Molly's like, so I had your thing with Craig go.

I mean, I guess Craig's going to be there. So I had that go. Go ahead. Just talk about it. You know you want to. And Charlie's like, oh, God. Really, we're going to start this right at the beginning. I just got you guys coffee.

That cost me $30. Okay. Well, it was good. And we have talked a little bit since then. Gosh, should I tell her that I helped him hang up painting? Gosh, she's not going to like that. She's not going to like that because I actually nailed something at Craig's house. She's not going to like it.

Well, I want to be leveled with you, Sally. Oh, no. Do I tell her about the leveling that we did? Oh, no. And she's like, well, the other day I told him, I get told he's going around saying that you're going to fall in love with him and he doesn't want to hurt you. And she's like, what? Wait. What?

Yeah. Well, that's what I heard. She goes, well, I'm sorry. But like, who did he say that he thinks I'm going to follow? Who did he tell that to? She's like, well, he's been saying there to all the guys. And Charlie's shocked. And Molly says, yeah, I mean, what have.

the boys, Molly's trying to like be the, you know, mediator. And she says, well, what if the boys were just twisting what he said and maybe he more said something like, I'm not in a place to date? And Charlie's like, well, I mean, right. But in her mind, she's like, that's not what he said either though. So how could this have been misconstrued, you know? So to anybody to just save us from some fighting, I pulled up the notes from last week. Awesome.

Craig, I'm curious. His total curiosity. How'd your date go with Charlie? Where there are fireworks, blah, blah, blah. Craig, for one, it was awesome. It was a lot of fun. So is it okay to hang out with her a couple of times? Or do I have to make a decision now?

I don't know. I'm overthinking this a lot right now because the last thing I want to do is like have Charlie drop her guard and then me realize I don't like her. You know, I'm trying to say like, do I just not start going on dates with someone because it might not work out? You know, and you don't want to hurt her or you just kill it. And they're like, just have sex with her, you know? Like, what the hell? And he's like, well, but this is after he just went out with Charlie to the oyster farm thing. It was like, oh, I just date.

I don't, you know, I'm just with somebody. I'm not like a multi-person dater and all of this stuff. And then he shows up with the guys and he's like, well, I don't want to give her the wrong impression. So like, do I cut at least now? So he didn't say he was worried that she was going to fall in love, but that's what he was insinuating. Yeah. I mean, Craig is already like laying the groundwork to be like, you're going too fast and I just got out of a relationship. And like one thing I've learned that like if you can't be like all the way in, you don't want to hurt the other person because I was the one who was hurt one time.

So I think you're just being like a little bit too in love with me. So and Charlie, of course, is all too happy to relay this under the guise of being a good girlfriend, but more sabotaging. Yeah. Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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