Watch What Crappens - #3243: Summer House S10E5: Rein There Done That

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recapCiara finds out Jesse asked to make out with her at a Summer House Renaissance Fair party and…cries. I guess I wouldn’t want that mouth chasing me either, tbf. The new lady makes a splash and tries to show Baylie how to flirt, and Carl finally gets a smile from Lindsay. He’s finally in the mix you guys. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben, hello, Beno. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Everybody, welcome to Summer House and Day. Before we get started, you have like a week and a half to get tickets for the Golden Crappies live stream, re-stream. It's up now.

You can get tickets at watchwockcrapins.com. It was such a fun show. watch it. It will not be released. It will be released his audio, but it won't, the video's not going to be released on Crappins on demand and all that.

So this is it. It's the last time. Go get it. It's your chance to see Ronnie brandishing a key tar. Okay. And Ben singing is Ramona. That's right.

Me barely avoiding tearing my Achilles as I ride the round on that stage. Last night, my dad said, what was the song Ben was singing? Did he write that? And I said, Yes, well, he wrote the words. He said, but what's the song? I said, it's from Chapel Rhone. And he said, who's that? And I said, it's a song called Pink Pony Club. He said, I'm going to look that up. I really enjoyed it. Oh, thank you. Did you tell Ben he should upload it? And I said, yeah, but I don't know if Chapel Rhone will like that. He said, who's Chappel Rone? Said the one he wrote the song. Hello. It was a circular conversation, but you came out really good in it. Thank you. As did you. And speaking of your dad, like,

Shout out to our parents. We had our parents present the award for best quote. And it was like a big video up on the screen. So if you want to see what our parents look like. So good. There were so good. My dad said, wow, Ben's parents looked so good. I mean, I need to figure out how to make us look better because we were just like

staring from way above. I said, no, I like that. That's why I kept it like that. I said, I could have been like Ben and made sure he looked really good. I said, but I liked it because that's how you talked to me on FaceTime. He's like, okay, well, then tell Ben, thanks for, tell Ben to shoot us next time. Well, my parents loved your parents. My dad was like, oh, they were so funny.

I was like, I know I gave, we gave like Ronnie's parents all the like the really funny lines, but they were just so funny. And my dad's like, no, no, you should have. They were so funny. They were great. They were so cute. Well, if you're going to get someone to call anyone else that got dick sucker, Rhonda's the way to go. Rhonda is the path for sure. The best was how she was like it looked like she was cold reading.

it right like she had never seen the quote before so like the look on her face as you realize the words that you had given her to recite she's like gout dick sucker they literally asked me that after that they were like do you get gout in your dick and i said or in your penis and i said no i don't think so it's just what she called him and my dad said well that's good because i have gout i was starting to worry well it was a great like obviously like you know it was great like you know it was great having them on there and I loved that the audience got to finally see the people behind us because like Lord knows we've talked about our parents especially you over the past 14 years so it was like really special to put them up there on that screen so for sure get that kids

we stream and also by the way I'm just going to say this it looked so good it looked like we were like streaming on Netflix or something like that like I was like what the hell I was like we've never looked at this professional I was like oh we this is amazing So I was very excited by it. And we will have a newsletter coming out tomorrow, like a special free midweek newsletter on the road to the crappies. Just kind of our backstage experience getting that together because it was really, really fun. So check that out over on Patreon. All the newsletters are free.

Patreon's also where you get videos of our shows, ad free listening, and bonus episodes. I wrote like a novel. I apologize in advance. I love it. That's what it's for. Yeah, that's what it's for. Let's do it. Okay, everybody.

Let's get into this. It is Summer House Season 10, Episode 5, Summer Nights, but spelled K-N-I-G-A. Because who doesn't love a Renfair? R-Fair is going to be the most epic party of all of Summer House. Can you mind if I call it a soft fair? I'll have some meat, please. I'm sorry. It's called a Renn-A-Soft fair.

Oh. It's gonna be a great time. The Renaissance Fair. So everyone's getting ready and Sierra and Mia are hanging out. And Sierra saying how her boobs are hanging out. And she's like, yeah, when you're talking about your ass not fitting in shit, I'm nothing but sympathetic. So they're like joking.

By the way, I love Mia. I think Mia fits. Mia feels like she's been there for three years. She's so like at ease with this whole cast. the way she just sort of has stepped in and it feels like she's always been there. I think she's a fantastic casting choice. Good job, Bravo. Yeah, I think she's pretty good.

I mean, she hasn't done much yet. You haven't, you don't really know until someone gets into their first argument with someone. Like, you have to test their medal. But yeah, so far I like, I like everybody so far, actually. I think everybody's doing a good job. I think Bailey is veering into theater kid territory, especially today with their wacky, like, we're going to pretend to be a bush. a little with a full on clown music for 10 minutes.

It's like, okay, it's like a little theater kid got on TV, but I still like her. Because it is true theater kid where you like the really hot guy, but then no matter what you do, the hot guy doesn't even see you. I know. Even if you're gorgeous. So it's very theater kid, and I am a theater kid. So, you know, I'm rooting for one of our own. Yeah, exactly. So Jesse comes walking into Sierra's room, dress as a king, and Sierra's like saying,

he's got to like get rid of his cape or whatever and then uh Amanda she's decided for this ren fair she's gonna wear a goat face and she's like I'm a bad girl it looks like I've a dick on my face I know I can't see a dick on your face I can't see it man so then Jesse's putting on a towel like a cape and um West is lying in his bed uh with the Sierra cut out just standing next to him. They're trying to make it like West is super jealous every time he hears Jesse in the hallway talking to Sierra. But he's just kind of looking at the side, you know, scrolling through his phone. But they keep playing like, don't, don't, John, John music, like he's super jealous. I think West is really, I mean, I know that they're trying to play this up. I think West is just too lazy to be jealous. I don't

really think he cares that much. Well, he's definitely too lazy to be confrontational because last week he confronted Jesse about about asking to make out with Sierra. And he was, like all the guy said that's weird so he couldn't even say that he thought it was weird and then this episode he just has lind's really mad at you about it wow ben really thought that was weird whoa ben the hottest guy in the house pretty upset kj told me he doesn't know what it's if he's going to be able to not be a lover boy this summer and also he's upset at you i don't know just his words KJ was really uncomfortable with you saying that also he's uncomfortable not being a lover boy. So what are KJ's abs implants?

Because those abs are too insane. And I've only seen ab implants on like older guys. We saw a lot of them in Miami. I remember where we passed. I was like, those are implants. Look, because Ben was like ab implants. It's like, yeah. Guys are like boob jobs for dudes.

So I kept trying to point him out to Ben. That was what I was looking. for it about food. So I don't think his abs are implants. I think though sometimes there is like a thing that like if you do your ab exercises, I think almost like in an incorrect way or whatever, you develop your abs. They sort of develop sort of like convex instead of concave or maybe it's the other way around. And so they sort of bulge out on him a little bit in a way that's like we don't normally see. But I think that they are real. Well, they're a work of art. I mean, whoever did him, whether he did him, God did him, you know, a person from the FX show, FX or whatever that show was.

Whoever did them, they look back. They look great. Those are crazy abs. But like even when he's like his stomach's out and he, you know, he looks like a little beer bellied. And by that, I just mean like pushing his stomach out or whatever. Yeah. They're still there. I don't know.

I'm just confused by the abs. But great job. I mean, I've never had abs. So I just don't understand how they work. So when I see them that intense, I'm like, wow, is that a thing that people do? You know? Yeah. He really.

I guess so. He's really got it all, huh? He also has a lot of lip gloss on in his confessionals. And that's, speaking of, I need to put some lip healing on. Go get it on, Ronnie. I'm kind of like, the abs are amazing, but then the lip gloss pulls me back. You know? You don't like lip gloss.

Well, I don't mind if people have, like, you know, their standard amount, like what you just did. That's fine. there's sometimes people put lip gloss on and their lips are so shiny it's like something i just i just don't like it you know and i know that i'm not necessarily the majority i think it's actually considered like nice to have shiny lips i think it's like i love a nice shine like a nice little lip shine i don't like to see someone and they look like they just made out with a jar of vassaline i don't know it's like not my vibe but that's just that's a that's a taste thing it's a personal like it's just you know it's just me doesn't mean that it has to be that way for everyone else

One time someone I mentioned this once a few years ago and someone was like Ben I threw it all my lip gloss just for you I was like no no don't throw out your lip gloss for me You can keep doing what you're doing I'm just saying I just don't like It's like it's like I've always not liked it like school plays When they have to put like lipstick on your lips you know for the stage I've always hated it I don't know what it is I don't like shit on lips Yeah, I love lip glass but I respect your opinion I respect your wrong opinion But also your lips right now, I can see them.

They don't look like they are, you know, like the, they don't look like there's some sort of cake topping. You know, when they like make the fruits all shiny and everything. Like your lips like normal. You know, they're just sort of lubricated up, but they're not out of control. I just don't want to see reflection of the lights in your lips, you know. Okay. Yeah, fair. Okay.

Is there anything else you want to nitpick about KJ before we move on? No, I think generally I I'm fine Is anything you want? Anything on your end? That's just funny KJ is like the least offensive person I think the least offensive guy to be on the show in a long time We're like

Abbs, real or not? Lip glass, got to go. Lip glass, what do we think? That's every little thing about KJ. Just tear him apart. But the point is actually that West is very passive here And so when you said think he's not really jealous part of me feels like he's just gonna ask someone

else to be jealous for him because he doesn't want to do it himself it's time for commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial so they all now it's time to come downstairs into the party and so Carl's at the bottom staircase was Carl Carl 14 but oh and now that I'm downstairs I'm like in the mix that means that I'm somebody down here you guys are all upstairs I'll announce you to come down the staircase we've got Benjamin all the way from Australia. I'll show you.

It look great, by the way. I love all your Shilas. KJ. from Kansas City. KJ. from K.J. from K.C. See what I did there? Justice Sullivan from Chicago, Illinois. It's great, guys. This announcing is going so great.

Amanda Petula, all the way from New Jersey. She's like, all the way. Amanda, missing it. So everybody comes down and Bailey's like, oh my God, do I look like someone from Lord of the rings. Kind of. Ben says better.

And she's like, oh my gosh, thank you. But, you know, I mean, let's think of the cast of Lord of the Rings. Saying you look better than 80% of that cast is still like a, what the fuck did you mean by that? Ben's like you do look like someone from Lord of the Rings. Kind of like when Frodo puts on that ring. Oh my God. Wasn't he invisible when he did that? Precisely.

Who's talking to me? You look like someone from Lord of the Rings Hobbitland or whatever that. one was called the Hobbit. So Lindsay comes downstairs and of course is dressed like a queen and Carl's still stuck there and he's like, oh shit, I have to announce a house. Oh, oh, you look great by the way. I did it. I did it. He's like, um, you have to bow because I'm a queen, Carl. And so he bows and he's like, oh my God, we're friends now. Me and Lindsay are like friends. Oh my God, I can't believe that. Oh my God. She's in the mix. Do you see the smile of my face? Me and Lindsay are like friends again, like, ha, a little bit.

Let's go. Saturdays for the boys. Put your weight on me. The last thing I care about is Carl, and I don't give the fuck about Carl, so let's just have fun. I'm going to be nice to Carl. I don't even care. And Sierra does the thing. She is dressed as a plague rat

because Sierra every year she as the bombshell that she is, she always puts on a costume that completely obscures her, which I think is so fun. So this year, she is a giant rat, and she's going to spread. She's like, I'm here to spread the bubonic plague.

Like, it's not going to be the first thing that was spread around this house. That's for sure. I was going to say, you're sharing a house with West and Jesse. So somehow the bubonic plague sounds like a cold. She's like, yeah, this is my primordial pouch right here, huh? So she said it was either that or dressing as a turkey leg, but then Carl said he was getting turkey leg. so I came as a rat. So.

I would have preferred the turkey leg. Is there even such a thing as a turkey leg costume? I think that would have been amazing. I'm sure. So now the guest started arriving. And Sierra's, you know, sexy dancing is a rat, of course. And Jesse's like, oh, boom there. So I'm writing a song about someone.

I'm not going to tell you what's about, but it's about being a rat carrying a bubonic plague. Bailey is like, oh, my lord, I do not. remember this in medieval times. I don't whatsoever. Call's like, oh Jesse, does this do this for you? So they're just like gallivanting. You know, it's party times. We're all doing crazy stuff. And Lindsay goes up to West, he's like, well, what were you and Jesse talking about in the pool? And he's like, um, the Sierra thing, because I truly think that she'd like laugh in his face for saying that. Would you agree, right? Like Sierra, She's like known for being pretty chill when guys talk about her behind her back, right?

Like she'll probably laugh about it. She's like, um, I don't know about it. Oh. For those of you who weren't here, it's because, um, he was like, hey, gonna have permission to make out with Sierra. So he's like, yeah, Sierra would just laugh in his face. And then he goes, um, I don't know. And he's like, wait, well, maybe I'm wrong then. You think that Sierra likes Jazzy?

And she's like, well, I mean, does he even know that in? Like, what now? He's like, well, I don't think she knows, but like, it's not my place. It sure is your place, though, Queen Lindsay. Go fight my battles for me. Yeah. She's like, I've missed like the first two weeks of the show. So I gotta catch up.

So I'll serve this some shit around. Sure, it'll be me. She's like, is it my place? It's like, probably actually of all the people whose place is yours, it's, you're the least place. It's the least of your place. because you weren't part of that original conversation. If anything, I think... West is an absolute gigantic wuss.

I almost said mega wuss, but that turned into maga. And I'm not accusing him of that, but he's a mega, mega wuss. And he's never going to do anything himself. He's never going to tell anybody he likes him by himself. He's never going to tell anybody he doesn't like them by himself. He's always going to rely on other people to do everything for him. It's a very, very lazy person, this guy. that is exactly correct.

So he is like thrilled clearly that Lindsay's going to take this and bring it to Sierra. And West knows that Sierra is going to get mad at Jesse. But he says on camera, no, she's going to laugh because it makes it seem like he's supporting Jesse. So it's a big old passive cluster fuck. And we know that when Lindsay tells Sierra it's not going to land well ever. Yeah. She is very she is very she has lots of like She has a lot of boundaries around this kind of stuff and she has she's we just know it's gonna be a shit show and guess what I didn't I didn't see it becoming as much of a drama as it became

but I mean I don't know I agree I don't understand how anybody would care this much to like run off crying like oh my god someone wants to make out with me oh when she explained it later in the episode I got it a little more but I was still like you're crying over jesse want to yeah i mean i thought the extent of it was just going to be like um like uh this is so typical they're talking about who gets dibs on me but no one's actually coming to me which i thought okay i thought it'd be like that but she actually was what was interesting was it was the joky part of it because jesse said hey mind if i make out of sierra you know like in a jokey way which i think was jesse's way of like softening it for west but that That term jockey wound up being the real be in the bonnet for Sierra.

And that became the thing. And that's what I was not expecting. Yeah. So Amanda is partying and she's dancing on the ground with Sierra. She's eating grass. And I was like, oh, my God, she just, she just ate grass. And I said, that's sexy. You know, watching Amanda reminds me of what attracted me to her in the first place.

You know, she had a great sense of humor. She's fun to be around. It's going to be a good summer. Turn this thing around. You like Amanda. she's wasted right now. And that's the only time you like Amanda. And last year when you're like, oh my God, me and Amanda were finally back on track. It's when Amanda would go out and party with you all night. Yeah. And I also love when he's like, yeah, Amanda, she's still fun to be around,

which is why I go out of my way to not be around her. Um, like, like, you know, you're the one who's not spending the time around her when you're saying that she's saying she was fun to be around when she's partying. He doesn't want to be around when she's home watching Netflix, scrolling her phone, you know. Yeah. So Ben is talking to a lady and she's like, what do you have under that cloak? He's like, not much. And then West and Ben are talking. Wherever the guy goes. I mean, the guy just can't escape it. He's just making small talk and some rando's like, what do you got under that cloak, big boy? He's like, Jesus Christ. Is anybody going to ask me what I'm reading? I'm not totally sold on Ben. I'm going to say that. Yeah, he's cute. I feel like we have not seen much of him yet. So I don't know

He's the one of the newbies He's the one that I feel like is the most disposable Believe it or not Yeah So then we go over to West and Ben And they're talking about all the chicks Party bra And Ben is asking about Dara

And she's on the way And West asks if he's interested And Ben's like, yeah, she's cool, I guess I mean I met Dara in the singles event And we had a little chat for a minute Let's do a fleshback And see this fascinating chat in chat. She's like, so do you still model? He's like, yeah. It's one of the only

jobs that everyone, you know, at the end of the work, everyone claps at the end of the work day. You know, I love that. She's like, um, yeah, well, I'm a show pony. I love applause, you know, I love that. Big show pony, huge. Applied me. Do it now. Fuck. Every, your hand's broken. Every performer on Broadway is furious at him. Excuse you. I memorize these lines for, come from away. I didn't know that about models that people applaud you at the end of the day. I don't, by the way, that's, I don't think that's necessarily true, but I love that he's so hot that either A, it does happen or B, he just imagines it happens. Because I do also think models just assume they're being applauded at where they go.

It's like, hello, they have long to make a deposit at this bank. It's for me. So he's like, yeah, at the singles event, I was a mess. I didn't know what was going on. Let's have a clip of me looking like a mess. It just got him like, hey, I'm hot still. People were talking to me. The whole party's a blur.

You know, I thought, can we please stop talking about, please? And anyway, I'm just looking forward to see Derra in a situation where it doesn't feel so forced. You know, nothing feels as unforced as a summerhouse party, which happened every single weekend in the backhouse of the set. I know. from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. with a crazy over the top thing. With people that we don't even know at this point. I mean, who even comes to these parties anymore? They're every single week, every summer. At this point, I think they have like 20 people there.

And they're like, hi. Are you guys serving food this time? I feel like those parties seem so annoying because like, I mean, that's cool. You get like free booze and everything, but you just have so many people just like running around and crashing into each other. There's just always so much, like, frenetic energy or even kinetic energy. There's just like, there's too many things. Like, at the end of the episode, at the end of the party, we saw there was like an inflatable bar tavern area and it was like toppled over on itself. And I'm like, I don't want to go to a party where there's an inflatable house that falls forward. I don't know.

Safety. Safety. Where are the unions at this party? People were too rowdy. That's what it means. So, uh, Dera arrives and you can tell, because you can hear it. like, hi, hi, I'm Dara. Hi, hi, hi, I'm Dara. She talks like karate chops. She does. So she's like, yeah, I met West years ago. We dated for like six months. And then we ended for

pretty much the reason that I think nothing has seemed to stick with West because he's a fucking loser. He just couldn't full send it, lazy bitch. So anyway, I was 30, you know? And 30 is your hot girl era. So like, I'm not going to spend 30s telling some man how to be a man. I mean, West is the best guy on earth unless you're falling in love with him, fucking loser. So here I am. Semi loose. She's basically Kelly Preston and Jerry McGuire. She's going to punch him in the face. Kelly Catron in the Kelly Catron show.

Kelly Katron. It's like Kelly. It's like Kelly Katrown, the origin story. She's like, I'm sick of telling people I have to live at 30. If you want to cry, leave the party. Cry outside. Well, we are outside. Cry at the house.

Cry outside the rent affair. So Wes is like, hey. Dara, welcome to the house. Yeah, thank you. I don't know what I was expecting, but it exceeded my expectations, which were already low, because you were the one who invited me. And anything you invited me to is a piece of shit, garbage activity.

This party's massive. What are you even doing here? So she goes up to KJ at the bar, and she's like, where's your shirt coat, bro? And he's like, uh, it's inside. Classy, real classy. He's like, what? It's hot. I'm not wearing a shirt right now. Sorry. It's like, what? It's not in your journey? What was it, a full costume at one point? And then you took off your shirt. Loser.

He's like, oh my God, you're so pretty. Do you even remember meeting me on Thursday? Hello? He's like, oh, I'm fucking stupid. Sorry, I was busy trying to control my impulse to be a lover boy. It's so hard this summer. How can I not be a lover boy? Your hair is really different right now, so maybe that's why I didn't recognize you.

So yeah, it's curly or I'll give you that. Okay, you got one point. Wow, you're down 19, but good. luck catching up. He's like, yeah, it was straight the other day. She's like, it was straighter. That's what I said. Yeah, but I'm confirming.

It was straighter. No, I'm not saying it was straight because it wasn't straight, but it was straighter than it is. So you're close. Okay, half a point. You ever go on a really windy road? And then the next road you go on is still windy, but not as windy. That was like my hair. Okay.

Well, did you just get here or have you been here? Yeah, I just got here. Can't you tell him carrying rent as a white luggage? God, can you guys find a place for my luggage? I just got here. Did you hear me five minutes ago? No, because I was not here. Okay, do you think I ever enter a room where you don't fucking hear me coming?

No, I don't. Is my hair straight or is it curly straighter? Okay, you can learn at least. I'll talk to you again. Go put on a shirt. I'm trying to chug a drink with someone because I'm so sober. I'm so fucking sober. Get me lit, bro.

It's like, yeah, man, shots. Cheers to me being an idiot, right? Yeah, cheers to you being an idiot. And to me having a little bit slightly curlier hair today. Wow. Lady of my jeans. Yeah, she should definitely not be a nurse. She's one of those people who just pick, what the fuck?

You ringed your bell again? God, do I look like I'm on fucking wheels? I've got other things going on in here. God, you're bleeding from your eyes. Put a pillow over your face. What am I supposed to clean up the floor now? God. She needs to be an editor in a newsroom,

but only a newsroom that you would see in the movies, not a real newsroom so that way like she like there's like all the sound or like typewriters and and telephones and she walks in and stands up on a desk and's like people we have three hours I don't have a cover story I need a headline I need a header I need something good we need to sell these papers give me a lead you over there you glasses what do you have you know because that's how they do it in the movies but in like in real life the editors just walk around quietly yeah I'm I'm like, remember the movie, the paper.

She should be all those characters. Pretty much. So we go to the girls and Amanda's like, I need another drink and then I got to change. I don't even know if I can get out of this outfit. And so Lindsay comes over. She's like, oh my God, girls, I have something to tell you. Okay, I'll tell the class me how you come to.

Okay, apparently last night Jesse asked whilst if he could make out with you, Sierra. And she's like, what? And they're like, well, he's got a lot of nerve. Yeah, well, West was just like, yeah, I don't give a talk because, you know, West is like, whatever and like lazy. But he was like, I don't even think she's like into that. And like, if she is, like, it's kind of joking anyway. He was like kind of joking. So Amanda's like, like he seriously wants to make out with Sierra or he was joking around that he was asking.

He was okay, where is the joking land in the sentence, Lindsay? Um, he was serious about joking. But he was serious by asking, but the makeout would be jockey. So it'd be a very serious ask about a joking makeout. He's like planning a joke. Does this make sense? And so Amanda's like, you don't jokingly make out with someone. So, me as, Sears are sitting there like.

I love that they're all up in arms. Like, what? Joking making out? How dare he? I've never heard of such a thing. What even is joking making out? We will remedy this. It should be a serious request for a serious makeout.

or a jockey request for a jockey makeout but you're crossing the lines so me is like how do you feel about the seora she's like um i'm gonna like need a minute because it's like what the fuck i thought you were gonna this is just not what i thought you were gonna say to me i thought you were just gonna tell me something about your kid again she's like well i can do that too so sierra's like so you're asking permission for like the only person for me but like the only person i can give you permission is me both these boys make me fucking sick honestly i'm annoyed at Jesse's lack of intention and everything's always a fucking joke to him. I mean, if it's serious enough for you to ask permission from West and like,

why aren't you asking permission to go out on a date? And West, you don't care? Like, that annoys the fuck out of me too. Because like, you know what? I just, I gotta fucking make out with somebody right in front of you and see how you really feel. So now she's upset because West said he also doesn't care. So it's making her,

I think that all this stuff is just making her feel like this unimportant piece of garbage on the side of the road that they make jokes about make out with and then move on yeah that makes sense because it is so fucking weird that they're like oh oh do you mind if i use your lawnmower okay would be great sure just bring it back filled and looped up ready to go i don't want to see your fingerprints all over him okay yeah i will clean the grass out in the back thanks i think sierra you are giving like you're giving these men way too much power in your life because like they're two emotionally stunted men who don't know how to simply ask for the things that they want and you deserve much better than to like be messing around with them and their stupidity.

Well, I really like Sierra. I mean, my first thought, because she like literally runs inside crying. Runs. Runs inside crying. So I was like, I mean, kind of grow up. I mean, are we in junior high? But then the other part of me, like I get, I really like her. So I'm coming up with reasons why this. isn't completely stupid. And I see the one that you're saying. But the other one I think also is like

these, it's not even about her, you know, and I think she senses that. It's not like, oh, wow, we both really like Sierra. They had an offseason. Nobody's going for Sierra in the off season. No one's calling you to take Sierra out in the off season. It's like they just wait until they start shooting. And then it's about a competition with each other. So it's not really even about her. And I think she senses that and is like, okay, awesome. So I'm like just some sexual object. in these guys, you know, stupid fame because we know that Jesse and West are both obsessed with fame. Like, everyone has said it since they came on this show.

So, I mean, I can see why she would be annoyed. I think that being hurt is just stupid. I think it's not emotionally intelligent because, like I said, these guys are just using you and you should know that by now and not give them the time of day. I wish you just went up to them and got them both together and said, I heard you asked for permission to make out with me. No. you're gross and you're both fucking children so go make out with each other and then just walked off instead of it becoming like

yeah because the truth is I think that there's probably also a good amount of frustration of like god I get like I got sucked into this into this into this into this bullshit again you know like Jesse's kind of like lulled me into this friendship where he's hanging out in my bed and we're doing bedbugs up to together and he just wants to have some sort of like jockey kiss or whatever which probably in her mind she's also thinking like it's just for TV and the truth is you have West who is like not uh what's the right word um I guess emotionally mature enough to say that he does care about it so he has to act that he doesn't care and you've got Jesse who's going to minimize it by saying um yeah it's just jokey when he actually he wants something more and it's just like it's it's just the whole emotional stuntedness of it all and the fact

that she is now drawn into it she's probably like how did i let myself get stuck with these men again like there was austin now there's these guys like why do i keep falling into this trap i have to imagine on some level she's thinking that well there's also the fact well not a fact the the possibility that she is liking jesse too because they do have this good flirt thing going on yeah that's where they've got this whole thing going on and so if she really is starting to like him and she's sensing that he's starting to like her to hear that he's like, oh yeah, I just want to make out with Sierra is probably like not great. So yeah, I think so I can see from those points of view. I definitely was like, oh, it sounds like she might actually like him, right?

Because I think if you like someone, these things will also affect you a bit more. Yeah. So then abandoned me are like, how dare he? And Lindsay's like, well, I think Jesse's like catching a vibe and he's always been flirty, but like it's more flirty. and like I think he might be catching some feelings and like is anticipating that maybe if he goes further, you know, and Amanda's like, but he needs to have that conversation with you, Sierra instead of being like I jokingly want to make out with Sierra. And Mia's like, and being like it's a joke, it's like it's not a joke because you're a person who has feelings and emotions. It's not a fucking joke. Well, Sierra's like, yeah, it's a lot to process. Well, I feel bad because like you guys have a friendship and like I don't want to be. wanted to be awkward, but like I kind of made it awkward

because it's really fun for me to make stuff awkward. I'm sorry that you got in my hobby. Where is like the Lindsay like advice? I feel like Lindsay would be the first one to be like, fuck those guys, they don't deserve you. They're just acting like toys and they can play with all these other bitches, but not you.

I was sort of waiting for Lindsay to have that moment, but she's like, oh well, sorry, made your life, hell, bye. So I think she just like sets the bomb and then she'll wait until the aftermath to come. And like in two weeks, I'll have some advice. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. She's like, I can only do so much in a week, okay? I've got to keep my, I've got to keep this going for two weeks later when I come back in. I'm a mother now. Let me tell you. Well, they're just going to, if you're my daughter, I would be putting electricity blockers into the holes of all of the electricity outlets. Because you're a genius, baby.

I would keep things away from you because you've broken so many things with your strong hands. So they go get turkey legs. which is the only reasonable next step. And then Sierra is, she goes, I can still go get a turkey leg and like not care. I mean, talk about an impairment mantra for 2026, right? Yeah. Commercials, here comes one right now.

So then Bailey and Amanda are talking about shots. And Amanda's like, aren't you supposed to be practicing flirting? Because out of all the men here, who have you been flirting? away, it's like, oh my God, my friend said, have you hooked up with anyone? And I was like, who am I going to hook up with? Who? The hottest person in the world? Probably not.

Probably not. I wouldn't even like me. Why don't you go flirt with somebody? Flore with an actor. Get out of your comfort zone. Use the actors. That's what they're here for. I would rather not be one of the swordsmen who larp for a living.

Even though I am very excited to be dressed from Middle Earth. I'm kidding. I mean, you are an on the street interviewer. So the LARPers are probably making fun of you, too, to be fair. Yeah, you are LARPing being a reporter. So Amanda's like, What about the magician? And this guy, this big thing is he takes knots in and out of ropes.

He's like, there's a knot they call it a slip knot. Look, it's in my hand. It's back on the rope. It's like Ken from Beverly Hills. She's like, I would rather the swordsman not be, you know, I would rather by man not be 75 years old. I mean, come on. I mean, when Wes is said talking to this girl, I'm going to flirt with him, and then I'm going to see if he picks up on it.

Don't walk away. Don't walk away. It's going to be hilarious and seen. Let's do it. So, Wes comes up and she's like, all right, all right, everybody watching, camera's on me. Okay, here we go. Let's try this. Wes. So, hey, Wes, Wes, I'm having a great time. How about you? He's like, what's up? She's like, oh, what's up? What's up, West? Um, how are you? Uh, I don't know. You don't know how you are? I'm off to throw a ring in a volcano. How's your journey going?

Do you have a small creature following you around too? He's like, I don't know if I understand. The ants are, there's trees. They're called ants, and they're going to chase us down. What are you talking about? Borgal. Well, I think this is the hottest that you've ever looked. You look so hot.

You've got beer on your shirt. some food coming out of your bath. You look really, really hot right now. And he's like, uh, okay. So he puts his sword on her shoulders to knight her. And he's like, thank you. Are you turdod? Because I'm so turdod right now.

Yeah, I'm turdod. I love swords. Yeah, you're really doing it. He's like, uh, everything okay. She's like, does my popcorn taste good? Yeah, you like my popcorn? Yeah, get it to my popcorn. You like a buttery?

Ooh, yeah. He's like, um, I'm scared as a little boy. She's like, yeah, well, did you see, that I was hitting on you. He's like, yeah. I think the moment he united her, that was his way of putting physical distance between him and her.

He's like, okay, I'm creating this is. He's like, here's my actual 10 foot pole that I wouldn't touch you with. It's like, when were you flirting? It's like, right now. I was flirting with you right now. He's like, oh, it didn't work. He goes, you're flirting with me

at the popcorn machine? I mean, how do you normally hit on people? She's like, oh, God, I don't know. I'm so bad at this. I'm so bad at this. So she talks about moving to New York and she had confidence, but then she was with a jerk. Now she doesn't have any confidence. And so she's like, well, yeah, my task was to hit on you and see if I had game.

But I guess I don't have game. Should I go hit on the turkey legs guy? And he's like, the turkey leg guy? You should tell him smoke my meat. Oh, okay. I guess I'll do that. So she basically has no game. It's very sad.

So now KJ is giving Dara a tour. He's like, um, you want to see a tour of the backyard? Here's, um, a tree. And this is another tree. And this is where Kyle P's, okay, well, how's the party been so far? Better now? It looked pretty lame. Stupid, right?

I want to leave. He's like, yeah, fair enough. It's a bad party. He's like, well, well, thank you. Thank you for this tour. That was very nice. Oh, and, uh, oh, oh, Ben, look. Hi, hi, Ben.

You're, you're here. And Ben's like laughing. Are you making a pity laugh at me, Ben? He's like, no, it was a legit laugh at me, I am laughing at whatever nothing you were saying right now, because that's what models do. We just laugh in a corner. Ben's like, well, look at him.

He's got game. The guillotine's a nice touch. Wow. Is that where you go for bad behavior at the guillotine? He's like, uh, be good. I might put you in there. Uh, uh,

uh, uh, so they're looking at all the little set pieces and stuff. And KJ's like, wow, she's so pretty. Like initially when she came up to me, I was like, why is she coming to talk to me? Maybe I'm trying too hard, but there's some energy there.

And then Carl's talking to some girls while holding a turkey leg. He's like, hey, I like your Beyonce shirt. That's pretty cool. And the girl's like, do you get it? Oh, not really. It's from their Renaissance tour. Oh, oh, right. My God.

Beyonce had a Renaissance tour? Oh, my God, I'm so on trend. Oh, my God. back in the mix so she does like rent fairs that's like pretty cool no she had a tour called the renaissance tour I'm not getting she went to Italy and like looked at the sights and the sounds of the Renaissance she went to Florence oh my god Beyonce went to Florence that's like amazing no Carl it's a I'm just not gonna explain this to anymore Carl oh sorry the mix is pretty hard sometimes if I could hit myself on the head with this turkey lug I would you actually can do that carl you can do it or I can do it for you make your choice

Joyce. So now we go to Jesse. Jesse goes over to Ben Sierra and Amanda and he's like, oh, is this a night to the round table? And Ben's like, oh, God, that accent. Jesse, like, I was just trying to hang out. And then Sierra tells him to fuck off. It's like, God, sorry. So then Sierra's talking to Mia. And Sierra's like, fix your fucking face, Mia. She goes, I can't. She says, I just don't know how to feel about it. So like, I'm not going to bring it up. until like I've got a handle on it. I don't know what I know about that. So she's like, I know, but I still have a stinky face. I don't care. I'm so mad at him talking about joking about making up with you.

So I'm not about it. The Jalty competition is gonna commence in a few minutes. So now we're gonna have Sir Jesse and Sir West are gonna do it. So now West and Jesse are going to do, they're gonna get into like inflatable horse things with like, you know, jasty things, whatever. and Sierra and Mia are sitting at a table

and they're watching and Sierra goes, oh my God. And Mia's like, this is literally idiot versus idiot. Welcome to the show. It's been like this for 10 years. So Jesse tackles, Jesse sort of tackles, I don't know, one of them wins, who cares? And the crowd's like, kiss, kiss, kiss. So Jesse kisses West.

And West is like, oh my God, he didn't even ask permission. and sierra's just why everyone's like cheering but sierra's watching with such disdain in her eyes like these fucking man babies but then it turns into her crying she starts to cry so then this is when she goes running into her room and mea follows and sierra's like it's not flattering to me goes like i do feel like everyone just wants to experience me and i do want to have like a best friend and like someone that i can tell everyone everything too and they just like look at me and want to tell me everything and they want to protect me and then like i don't want like this service level shit um stop dating guys from the show you have to go find a normal man you

cannot date you cannot you cannot you cannot date west or jesse and expect it not to ever be service level i mean those guys have their fame hores and they have people lining up for them at all these fan events it's just don't date these people please go get yourself a real man off of this show please i beg of you i like you i beg to help you i think it's time for i think seara i feel like this may be her last season she i feel like we've watched her grow when she came on the show she was so quiet she was such an introvert and every year she she sort of like gets she just sort of gets more and more comfortable in her skin it feels like or at least maybe more comfortable being on tv and i think that every year she sort becomes more and more of a star and now like she walks in

and she's like she's like this woman is like a star and i think that like she's going to be like moving onwards and upwards because it's time for her to now ascend to a new class of celebrity and not be hanging around the West and the jessies of the world. Yeah, here's to hoping she's on the city and whatever that show is called and not this. So now the party. And also, I just like, I don't know, the Sierra crying at this point. I'm like, you know too much from being on this show for so long to cry about these boys right now. So I don't believe it as much as if it were someone like Bailey or one of the newer people who were like,

my god these guys are such douchebags it's not that i think she's faking it it's just like i don't yeah just get out of there here's here's what i say it out of there here's an on-the-fly theory based off of what i just said there also must be something that's kind of crushing to come into the house and every year you're feeling more and more like a star i mean sierra seora is increasingly famous she's just doing all these things she was just at the grommies last month like she's gets she's getting access to increasingly interesting and cool opportunities. And to feel like your star is rising. And you've done all this personal work on yourself to be bigger and better.

And to like step into like new chapters of your life. And then to find yourself getting caught up in the petty bullshit that you thought you were so behind. The stuff that you thought you grew out of with Austin, et cetera, that like the old version of yourself. And to realize, shit, I still have these things. I'm still drawn to these people. or still am affected by these people, even though I thought I had moved on and done all the work.

Like, I think that's actually gotta be a driving force. I know I feel that way sometimes. There's so many times I'm like, I've been doing therapy for like six or seven years now. I'm like, I am so much more of a self-possessed person. I am like, no, I'm not as much of a shrinking violent. And then I get put in one social situation where I totally have a regression to how I was like 10 years ago.

And I'm like, oh, I'll never change. I'm still the same person. I'm so mad at myself, you know? So like maybe there's some of that in there, you know? Hmm, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I, um, that sounds plausible. I just want her to, uh, stop worrying about this bullshit because it's annoying.

These, these people are not worthy. So the party continues. Well, getting the anti van ready a little bit. Yeah, well, she could drive it at this point. You know what I mean? Like she, she could drive it. And just kind of her whole attitude with, um, Lexi, last year and how she handled that whole thing I thought was really good and really strong.

So to see her regress for these two losers, I'm not regress, but you know what I mean. Crying, the crying over losers. It's just I can't, you know, I just can't with it. I'm like, you're smarter than this. So, yeah. Run. So Ben flirts with Dara and, I guess, kind of, in his way. You know how Ben does it.

He's like, hold on, on the model. Anybody clapped you at the end of a, at the work date? No, but I've gotten it at the end of it. of a date is that where we're heading to jesus christ you're pretty but you're dumb and kj sees it and he's like ben and the other boys i mean they definitely just make it all look so simple all this flirting but me i don't even know if i'm flirting how do you do it okay kj we've already got this this like i'm just a boy a boy that doesn't understand girls what i was raised by sisters and like what do i do i'm just a

male model who invents skateboard tricks I'm so awkward what do I do so luckily for him he does seem generally like the nicest guy and I think we are all waiting for the other shoot-of-fall because that's what happens on these shows but like I mean he seems lovely but it's also it's crazy like I don't know how to flirt but he's also giving the full what I'm just a boy and I don't even understand how to be a fuck boy. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It's just not in my nature. All I want is romance,

except for this summer when I'm going to try to. I mean, every clue is that he is just one of these guys. So if he is one of these guys, you know, just like a typical douchebag, he's playing it very well because I believe it mostly,

but I'm... Yeah, me too. But like you're right. It's all there on paper. You know, when people tell you who they are, don't have sex with him. So then West is

hanging around and he's mad that people are throwing hay around. And then Mia gets on the mic. So this is, I think this is really the moment where I was like, wow, she's really fitting in because Mia, a newbie gets on the mic

and gives the, hey, everyone, the party's done, which prompts Amanda off in the corner to do a, you know, a pretty limp version of an already limp routine

she has, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay. She doesn't even finish it. I know. She's just like, no one's listening to me. So it's really awkward. And she's like, nobody said it.

I had to say it. Somebody has to say it. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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