Watch What Crappens - #3254 Below Deck Down Under S04E06 Part Two: Textual Desires

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapAlesia and Eddy’s texts are all the talk on Below Deck Down Under as Mike spends his every waking minute gossiping about them to any person, fish, or rock that will listen. Plus, the new guests want lunch, which somehow seems to paralyze Ben. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

So then outside, Joao and Alicia are having like real couple talks. Alicia goes, de fat often. And he's like, never in front of a lady, ever. Do you ever get your ears checked? So then in the crew mass, Ellie is like, I don't know about this. I don't know where's my phone?

Let me, I'm sending rage text to Alicia right now. Stay away from my genetic jackpot. So on the bench, Alicia's like, have you ever post while past the other ones in the shower? Have you ever pooed? Have you ever pooed?

Have you ever pooed? She says. Have you ever pooed while the other ones in the shower? And he's like, no, never. Why would I do that? That's so romantic. Makes much more sense.

I don't really found a romantic man out here. I'm going to find out who our boyfriend is. I'm sending this to her boyfriend tonight. Get her social security number. She's dead. She's dead. Pooing and bathing used to be my thing. I was like, so you were in the bath while you were pooing?

Wasn't that last season? Are you sure? And we don't get it? and after, which I love. And it's just so funny because they're sitting there like this couple on a bench, her head's on his shoulder, and she's just like, what do you think about pooing and

bathe? And he's like, hmm, I'd like to understand that better. These two. This is romance. Ellie is watching. Yeah, and Ellie's watching thinking there's like a tour and romance happening while she's like, what do you think about poo? What shape is your favorite when

it comes out? And I was like, how dare they be floating right in front of me on the camera? This disrespectful. She will pay. Don't fuck with me. I'm a very kind person. Don't fuck with me. Is she going to get to his genetics first? Questionable. So they go back and five thinking nothing's wrong and Ellie meanwhile is stewing in her room and she's like, oh, I love receipts. I love receipts.

Damn. She's going to blow shit up. Yeah. So now Joao and Ben are in their room. And where I was like, well, I think that Ellie, or shall I say Elena, got a little bit freaked out that I was talking to Alicia. And Ben's like, well, yes, I'll tell you all about it. She said, oh yeah?

Oh, yeah, I know everything. She was a little offended. She thought it was like a little date. And I had to say, listen here. Caramel twigs. Everything's fine. You still got a shot. You're still in the game. But she thought you want to ductate that you brought another woman. Well, I just invited Alicia because she was literally lying on the couch doing fuckhole.

I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. This is hectic. I mean, when did we say this was a date? Oh, well, he is devidishly handsome. But, wait, I thought you were into Elena. Aren't you into her? Me? Why? No, no, no, not at all. I was just jerking off to her on Instagram innocently. It's not marriage or anything.

I can't commit myself to a woman after what happened to me. I'm sensitive now So Jenna, Alicia and Batul are in the crew mess And Jenna Jenna, Jenna's saying she likes Batul's hair And Alicia

They're basically Jenna's like Alicia, I can ask you a question She's like Oh what So are you and Eddie There is no me and Eddie But what about the next

messages What about the other At least He's like, okay fine Fine, fine He did text me last night What do you say? What do you say

He'll give it to me Let me know. All right. And then after that we squish it. Can we squish it after this? All right. I want to talk about it if you show with the text. We'll talk about it again after that. All right. Then we'll squash it. All right. No talking about it to other people either. All right. Then it's squashed. All right. It makes me embarrassed to read it back. I actually want to throw up. So she reads the texts. And she's like, I haven't a clear what's going on in my hand, but you need to get out of it. Believe me when I say, I haven't been able to stop looking at you. Same to you, but you're with Jenna. And she's the safe bet.

I would drop her in a second to be an alien with you. Oh my God. What that? Yeah, it turns out I'm a massive flirt. That was, what do you call it? To me, it felt like it was more than flirting. To me, that was a full-on, like, statement of purpose. I feel like flirting, you're sort of, it's like, ooh, is there interest?

Is there not? I'm sort of alluding to some interest. But, like, I can't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you. Get out of my head. Yeah. I guess that's flirty. But to me, that's kind of just like,

you're basically saying, open for business. The neon sign is now saying vacancy. I want to merge genetics with you. So, Jenna's just looking at her like, okay. She says, yeah, you know,

I definitely did shut it down, though. No, you didn't. Not in that text. I mean, maybe today. But even today, you didn't really. What are you talking about? You first of all, you also initiated it. And she keeps them telling people like, oh, he texted me.

I'm like, in response to you. And you did not shut anything down. But, yeah. Well, guys, I'm sure to interrupt this. But it's time for a fish report. Fish report. Oh, my God. It's a fish report.

Bish report. Borghumor. Okay. Here we go. Gorgeous. neighborhood, first of all. This is a gorgeous neighborhood in the sea. This large leaf thing is welcoming all of its guests into the new community. Everyone, look at, they're not even, this school of fish isn't even all going the same way. They're just going about their business and enjoying their own independent lives. Yeah. What we see here are a bunch of the yellowfish, which are like really the one of the mainstays of this season. You see a lot of these sort of generic, but like pretty yellowfish. And you know, they just like, this is like a, it's, It's New Year's for them. And they all have the day off.

So they're like, oh, my God, we're going to take a field trip to see the leaf. You got to want to come to see the leaf. That's really, I want to take a photo by the leaf. I'm going to put on the gram. This is the Leaf Country Club in Dallas, Texas. Everybody's blonde. I'm just like, oh, my God. Yeah.

See that bitch? This is like their Washington monument. They're like, oh, my God. Did you guys go to the leaf? Yeah. Okay. Then we come to a fossil that needs to go get some Botox. This is crazy.

This is some coral. But it's like a maizey coral. It's a coral that has like a maze on its face. This coral is like what crawled out of Demi more late in the movie of the substance. It's like, oh. David Bowie has a glass ball in his hand on this coral. He's like, oh, I don't get you. Toby's in that coral somewhere.

So thing rain. Some fish is a little fish. You know, this is, oh, there were a little, fish where? Oh, there are a little fish. There's some little fish. There's one fish that's like doing a flyby. You see it? It's like, whoa, look at me. I think that's a fuzz. Is that a fish? Is it a fuzz? The fuzz is like, I am only here to serve as scale for the viewer. Like, I'm a stingray. This stingray, you know, now we've seen some handsome stingrays on here with beautiful patterns. This is a pretty blossed stingray. This is like, this is like a stingray on the way to Grateful Day. It's just like, I'm just going to wear some I call it a day. It's not liking an effort. Yeah. It's very long ponytail.

It's not even using both of its fins. It's only using one, one fin. It's like waving. Yeah. It's waving to, uh, to its friend Jesse. Yeah. Hey, Jesse.

You're gonna go see Grateful Dead? Where are you sitting? Yeah, me gone to Grateful Dead. Again. Again. I'm in row five. Where are you? Where are you?

Yeah. Okay. I'll see you in there. I'll see you in there. Yeah. Great seeing you. My wave. Maybe they'll wave back this time.

I'm all right. Cut my armpit hairs. Cut my armpit hairs. You like that? Not shaving. Okay, but trimmed. Trimmed. Yeah.

This is a stunningly unremarkable stingray. Yeah. Okay. So this turtle, just loving his life. The turtle. The turtle is just like coasting through. Like it's, look, it's back, like it's front fins are doing all the work, but its back fins are like, we. You know?

Yeah. I think this turtle just won something or got a day off because normally we see the turtles swimming like this with their fins like this. But this one has its fins all the way up. It's like, yes. Yes. This turtle just remembers it has a free Starbucks because it's its birthday. It's like, oh my God. It's 150 stars.

But then realize that all it wants to get is a simple black cold brew, which is basically the cheapest option anyway. It's like, damn it. Should I get a macchiato just to take full advantage of the value? I don't know. I'm going to do it. I'm doing it. I'm having a sugary drink today. Someone's getting a propitino.

Yes. Okay. Then we go to Mike. Now, Mike is not a fish, but I would like to point out that his tattoos are worse than we ever could have imagined. Look at this. That's true. It's a lip with a, it's a sexy lip on a face that is. Yeah.

So basically it's actually. on a crucifix? Yeah. It's upside down. It's like a lady's face and like a crucifix is dangling from her mouth, which, sure, I'm sure that's what everyone wants to see when they make out with him. Although I will say, Mike wearing a hat is really helpful because it contains that hair. He looks literally 60 times better with a hat.

Best he's lit. Best he's ever lit. Okay. Now, the reason why my, the reason why he's here, is because the next fish, they did this cross fade into the fish. And I felt like it, like, I didn't want to just have us go to the fish. I want to get the full experience of seeing Mike and then watching it cross fade into this absolutely stunning puffer fish. Look at this.

Look at this. He is. This is crazy. Oh, my gosh. Look at that. That is so good. That's a good call on your part. Good eye.

And they were, by the way, they lined that ups that way Mike's face basically turns into a puffer fish. It's like, look at this. Except the thing is the puffer fish is actually attractive. Like this is a pepper fish, holy human face on this fish. This fish is crazy. This is like the Lisa Rina of fish. What is this fish doing? It's like Lisa Rina, Liza Pufferfish, but like also like the chaplain rone of pufferfish too.

it's like ready to sing at the abbey it's just because of humongous human lips this is crazy I've never seen human lips on a fish before but this fish is like own it own it baby also this fish is like fuck with me because look it turns its head and just keep side eyeing the camera like you want to piece of me come on want to be looking eyeball

yeah look at its big bulging eyeball his big bulging eyeball his big bulge clear eyeball it's like a motorcycle helmet you can see through it. It's crazy. Yeah. But I also love, I love how this fish is just moving so slowly, so dramatically. It is kind of like a drag queen fish. It's doing so much because on the one hand, it sort of also looks like it's Maxine in the office. And she's just like, so how are the kids this weekend? Did you get to see them? You know, but at the same time, also a drag queen. At the same time,

also Lisa Rinna, at the same time, also just Mike's face. Is it wearing culots? Yeah. It's got like two. Looks like I asked Kool-Lots. Those lips, this is a terrifying fish. I love it. Okay. Good job, Leisurena. Well, also, you know what I love is that, like, theoretically, what we haven't really

acknowledged is, like, theoretically, his fish just got done crying. It's like, did my mascara run? Please tell me my mascara. I didn't run. It's like, no, you look great. You look great, Maxine. I don't know. It goes back onto the floor.

Everyone's like, oh, my God, was Maxine crying? Yeah, she sure was. Listen, it was very difficult. I just learned that someone at the synagogue, uh, they lost their mother. And I'm just, I'm just feeling very sad about it right now. Okay, then we go to this eel. We never see this whole eel.

We just see it kind of bent, bent around something. It's just weird. The eel's just waking up. It's like stretching, doing it a morning stretch. It's like, oh, God, I didn't realize I was on camera. It's trying to trick tourist fish. It's like, look, I'm the arch in San Francisco and St. Louis.

Come under me. Come under me. Sucker. This eel has no idea. This is being very dramatic doing that big arch. Why is it doing that? Because the thing is this, it's not like it's going around something. It's literally bulging its arch up.

It's like, it's doing calisthenics, essentially. It's like, well, ladies, if you want to keep your figure, you got to do your, you got to do your eel cagels. Or it's reaching all the way behind itself to scratch its own butt. Okay. Now we have a little, what is that, a shrimp? It's a shrimp, but it's kind of like, this is a shrimp. shrimp that like well they're in the waters they're they're not you can't get it you can't get wet if you're in the water but whatever the version of getting wet is if you're a fish like that's what

happened to shrimp because the shrimp is like holding his hands out like oh my god my shirt's wet oh my god I need to get a towel does someone have a towel for me this shrimp is like I'm doing a crab impersonation I'm doing a crab impersonation actually it is a crab it is a crab it's a it's a crab we're so stupid yeah I figured that was a crab but I said shrimp because I'm done. Okay, now we go to a turtle. Just turtle's like, just stop following me. It's like there's so many things in the ocean. This is the laziest to be role to just keep following me around. Leave me alone, okay? Can we go back to the crab for a second?

Sure. Now that we know it's a crab and not a shrimp, it's sort of has a different cadence to me. Now this, now to me, this crab is a tour guide. It's like, all right, people, we'll just keep on walking this way. Okay, this way. And we're going to show you a piece of kelp over here. I'm just going to need everyone to just walk with me. Just walk with me. Thank you so much. I think this is an airline stewardess walking down the aisles and being like, Trays down, Trays down, Trays down, Trays down.

We will be landing soon. So I'm going to, could you just move your seat up? Thank you so much. Sir, did you hear me? I said Trace down. Okay. Okay. I'll set it with a smile.

I'm okay. You can't get fired. Okay. You people here. You are my exit row people. Will you do verbally a Santa helping in the case of an emergency? Okay, I need a verbal yes or no from you. I'll start with a gentleman here.

Sir, I'm going to need you to take out your AirPods. Thank you very much. By the way, I always lie in that. I'm like, yes, of course I'll help. You know I'm not going to help. That thing's going to crash. I'm going to run to the back of the plane. Or I'm going to jump out first.

Be like, give me the hell out of here. Okay, Turtle. Okay, no one cares about your turtle. Oh, look at this conk. I feel like this conk is not supposed to be here. I feel like it fell from somewhere. Yeah. I was like, could someone help me?

I can't really swim. Yeah. It's like I was supposed to be in Lord of the Flies and I just got thrown down here and now my career is over. Thanks a lot. Could someone mow my lawn? I would do it myself, but I am basically just stuck in the shell. So just need a little bit of help down here. Anyone.

Of zebrafish, zebrafish, more zebrafish. they're like, oh my God, do I look fat? No, you look thin because you're, you're swimming straight. So the stripes are vertical. Okay, I'm going to swim up. Oh, my God, you're so fat. Oh, my God, you're so fat. Okay, you're swimming straight again.

God, you look thin. I can barely see you. By the way, those are the, those fish are actually called because Dom looked this up. And it's appropriate to Bravo, which, you know, we love spotting trends on Bravo. These fish are called magpie perches. So these are magpie perches. So magpie is, once again, on. Bravo. They also look like they're going to prison, which is like very Bravo themed as well.

I think they're all just trying to be on trend, but they don't realize that stripes are already over in the ocean. Guys, you're wearing your stripes? Yeah, straps are so cold. And there's just a stingray just leaving. Yeah. The stingray's had it with like, it's like, fuck your fish reports. I'm sick of it. Fucking had it. Unless I'm getting royalties, I do not want to be included in the fish report anymore. Fish rapport, fish rapport. That was the fish report. Fish report. Fish report?

Or fish report? Can I get some fish rapport? Even the fish will not date me. Stop gossiping, you fish. Do your work. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now, Betty, Ben and Joao are lying in the same bunk bed.

on the bottom bunk talking and Ben's like, let's all of that. There's Eddie's mustache. What is that? It's not shaped even. It's like he went to a party shop and got a mustache. What is that thing? It's true. It's a very, very good observation.

Alicia says she's horny, so she's going to use her vibrator. Wow, I wonder what horned her up. And now it's now it's 7 a.m. the next, 701 a.m. actually. Just one minute later, guys. And it's five hours. until charter and Eddie and Mike are talking their cabin and Mike is like,

well, as you hear that, we'd like Jenna and Lisa because like me and Jenna went upstairs and she was like a bit upset with the messages that you were sending to Lisa. God, he just got to be out of control. Stop it. Bro. Eddie is doing this whole like, oops. He's like, oh, fuck. Oh man, if she read that, that would not have gone down well, but fuck, I don't know what I

was on about. Oh, I actually had a really good time with her. It'd be nice to probably hang out with it. I need to chat with her. Oh, no. Now I really don't have a chance with Alicia. So now I have to pretend like I really am into Jenna again. Oh, God.

So now we go to Jason and the bridge. He gets a text about the oven part and it's out. So he's like, well, did I need a new oven ASAP then? And they're like, we will have one three days, which is nine days in America. And he's like, damn it, that doesn't even make sense. It doesn't make sense, but somehow I'm beholden to it. Say, oh, fuck, man. I've got tons of ovens at home, but I'll see you in three days.

So they laugh, and he and Ellie laugh. And then Alicia and Mike walk by each other, and they're like, yeah, everything's fine. Sure, whatever. They just bury it, you know. And Ben is saying, like, all right, all right, magenta poofs. We'd love to start you on some food, but I don't want a shit show. lunch, okay? So what we're going to do is have a really big shit show lunch instead, because at this point, I'm basically my menu around a broken oven, and I'm going to have to use every bloody

induction burner, every machine, every last penny of the $50,000 I spent on that wedding that I never had. So, uh, Daisy's like, I want the toilet paper folded. I want people wiping their ass with sharp roses. I want their asses bleed and make them gorgeous. Like, okay, geez. So then, Then, Jay, that's time for everybody to get here. Oh, my gosh. Let's line up to greet the guests. Welcome, ladies. Dicey will show you around.

We've got the engines going. We're going to get under Y. So they get the tour. And the first thing they say, they're like, when is lunch? We're really hungry. And, um, dun, done, done. It's the beginning. It's the beginning of hunger bullying.

But also, like, oh, my God, I'm a big bully. I'm big bullied. They're hungry. How could it be that people who just took like five flights to get to kind of one? Would you get on a boat and say that they're actually hungry? I can't believe it. I feel like in past seasons, they always have like a little charcutory platter set up. So people can graze when they get on the boat.

Where was that? Yeah, I think this time he had spring rolls, right? He had like a little canopy to pass around. That is not enough. They need checks mix. They also need the charcutory, and they need the spring rolls. And, you know, it's like when you get anything, it's not free because you're paying for it, right? But when you get there, you feel like it's free.

Like when you get to a nice hotel, you're like, oh, my gosh, look at all these soaps I could take. There's like three different kinds of soaps. You're like, putting them in your bag just because they're free. Like, oh, my God, it's a shower cap. There's a shower cap. We're lucky. And you put that in your bag. It's like, you don't, I think that's how you feel when you go on vacation.

You just want things that are around you that you can grab onto and say, it's mine. It's mine. I'm just imagining you're doing this at a Kiel's store and then security stopping you. Sir, we need you to put those soaps back on the display. Not a store. Not a store. No, I know, but I'm imagining you're just like just getting triggered. Like, it's like your Pavlonian response, small soaps.

Tiny a soaps. Yes, that's my favorite section, like the Target or whatever, like the tiny things. things area. We're like, oh, you can get a little toothpaste. It'll last you two times. Oh, my God, I'm on all of the brands. I could try all of the toothpaste. All of it.

You can have a consumer reports moment. So they're leaving the dock. They've already left the dock and they go to release the tenders. But the tenders are tangled. Ooh, a metaphor, perhaps. So, uh, Joe, I was like, Captain, Captain, can we idle? Can we zim idle? There's a crossover between the two towing lines, and we're all going to go to hell and be destroyed because you can never cross the lines.

And Jason's like, sorry, you can't do that right now. It's either I stop the boat or I pick up the M&M on the floor, and we all know who's going to win this battle. My favorite is Joao's reading of these lines, because he's like so into it. He's like, ha, the two low tow lines are twisted, and the tenders are knocking into each other. And if they knock into each other sideways, they could submerge, and we could lose one or both of the tenders. And we don't have enough slack to do unlined. We're all going to die. Wow, he's really getting into these death monologues.

I know. I'm into it now. He's like, I'm a captain now. I'm going to give a hundred and ten percent into the we almost died monologue of the episode. Yeah. And meanwhile, you just see these two tenders being like, bunk, punk, punk. We're all going to explode and end up in the Davy Jones locker. So Mike is like, me, me engineering instincts kick in.

And I realize I can teach this line to the other cleat. And it'll release just enough tension so we can untangle the lines. I've got a few beans and eat dogs here. I'm like, sure, you put a rope on a different thing. Congratulations. So then really, yeah, really, yeah, Oh my God, he's been it.

Oh, yeah, everything's fine. We forgot to mention everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Ben, so I pushed for our two o'clock lunch, but they're really hungry. Well, why don't you give them the spring rolls? Well, I'll go get them the spring rolls.

But she came up to me and said, what about lunch? And what about what time? and all I said was two o'clock lunch work and she said, mm, that's too late. So we're really hungry. You got to get to lunch, Ben. Ah, so you're already letting them bully you, huh?

Like out of the door, out the door? We're going to have to make you look a little more intimidating, I reckon. All right, so they're still going to do the picnic, right? I'm not worried about the time. You can't bully me with lunch. And she's like, all right, we're still doing a beach picnic. All right, well, I'll shoot for 115. Let's just do, just tell him that.

Tell them 115. It's like, all right, don't take up the spring break. So he did not have spring rolls ready. That was my bad. I thought he was ready for, you know, that, but it wasn't. So he gets those ready and sends those out. And Ellie's like, oh, we've got this. We're going to quass this. This is what I do. I give positive things to chef. We're going to quass it, chef. It is another day. One foot in front of the other. Baby steps. Baby steps. Meanwhile, Alicia's serving drinks and Mecca's like, I'm so sorry. Sorry, I forgot your name already. Alicia. She's like, hi, I'm Mecca. I'm going to try not to get on your nerves, but I'm so going to get on your nerves.

She's like, no, honestly, I don't mind. It's either I talk to you or talk to the man with a strange hair downstairs. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm so ready to be on service with all the trauma that's happened with Janet, Eddie and Mike. I just want to, I want to do the job I was hired to do. So then, Joow is like, okay, we're going. Go ahead. job you were hired to do, you actually already failed up. But that's okay. You're doing a new job.

And hopefully that will be good, too. The second job I was hired to do. All right, joow, jo wow, we're going to Celine Bay. I love her. Mia. Fa. Romney. Renee. Renee.

So wow. Focus. We're going to Celine Bay and we're going to drop the anchor. Oh, we shall drop the anchor. If you. Ask me too. Jowow, I'm going to need to stop doing that. We just need to get into this bay. Okay, Joao, please. Saline Bay.

I will try my best captain to drop this anchor, but I don't know where the rest of my team is. All by myself. Don't want to be all in myself anymore. Wow, these spring rolls are so good. Can we have another order? Dacey's like, oh, shit. So Jenna and Alicia are working, but not talking to each other.

So then the anchor drops, and the guys are asking for more snacks. And it's just so below deck how they do it. They're like, can we get some other snacks? And the music's like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Bring up some chicks. What is so hard about this? Yeah, that's what I'm like, why do you not have just like a platter that's ready, just a grazing platter? Not like spring rolls a la minute.

So, but they don't have it. So Ben's like, our canapes designed to wet the appetite and take a little heat off the kitchen. You can't ask for more canopas because they're going to delay the lunch. The kind of feeds the purpose of the darlings. I was like, have you ever seen me at a formal function? Because I stand right at that door where the caters come out. I'm like, we'll have another one of those, please. I am a canopy monster.

An amuse bush, you have one and you don't get to have another. Canapes are for the people, and you get as many of them as you possibly can get. Yes, amen. Well, that's not my fucking fault. They didn't eat breakfast. Order more of them, and then we want lunch immediately. I mean, how many chefs have you got 20? I mean, that's what I thought.

That's what I thought. Just make the fucking food, Ben. Jeez. So Daisy takes up more, and they ask about rolls. And she's like, well, uh, lunch is coming. Lunch is coming. So Mecca's like, Daisy can make anything happen. So we're just going to ask, and you're just going to deliver.

She goes, let me see if I can grab you something. So now Ben is getting all flummocks. He's like, because now they need to give something else. And he's like, well, that's going to be another eight to the minute delay. So then, and then we see Mecca telling her friends. This is her thing. And she goes, I like to see my money. I like to see where my money goes.

So that's like her thing. It's like she doesn't want crappy service. So then now it's time. At long last, they get lunch, which is smoked salmon and capers and marxcombone and cheese. And they're all very, very happy. And Daisy and Jow are discussing like this beach picnic that they're going to be doing. And Eddie's going to be going to shore. And Daisy wants to send Jenna as well and Mike, because Mike is really good with

guess despite the fact that he is a really bad worker. Yeah. So, yeah, and I'm putting them to work. I've never seen someone who's so shit at stewardess in, but good with the guests. Just send him over. Send him over a bad hair and everything. People are very charmed of a bad hair on this show. So Ben and Ellie are in the galley, and he's like, do be a favor. Would you have sweet toot toast? Could you grate some cheese for me? Great some cheese. I've got this. I love cheese. I love grating it. I'm so positive. I love grating genetics. So then Daisy basically tells Mike and Jenna they're going to the beach.

And she's like, I want you. Hey, Daisy, I mean Jenna, I want you to keep an eye on how. Oh, no, Mike, keep an eye on how Jenna serves. Complement them. Earn your cape. So they're all going to go over there. It's time to head over to the beach, et cetera. The gas, I'm so hungry.

I'm so hungry. Oh, my God, I'm so hungry. And the captain radios everyone. The guests are dying of hunger. They are dying. Mecca is shrinking down into a little tiny pinky size. Please get them something. They are dying.

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's your tapeworm. And I need to be fed every 20 minutes. I'm the eighth charter guest. It's fucking insane. No, they just want lunch. They just flew in and they're starving.

It's a reasonable request. So now, beach party, beach set up. So Jason comes to check on. Ben and he's like, oh, I'm doing great. They just asked for guacamole before lunch. Sounds great. Well, I asked him if they're ready to go to the beach, and they said, we're waiting for lunch. And I said, you just ate.

Well, I didn't say it, but I wanted to. Well, there's loads of sand there. Why don't they just eat the sand? Oh, ho. That's a good one. They have snacks. What is the problem? That's all you need.

It's like, yes, we're going to get fucked today. Help, don't, baby. I'm quickly starting to realize. that working with shifts is kind of like raising a pit bull they will absorb the energy of the person they are with. You've got to make sure they're staying calm because if they're not,

they will bite somebody's head off. So she's going to be the, Ellie is going to be the calm presence for Ben. We'll see how that works out. Yeah. So now we go to the beach picnic and the guest,

basically they're setting up. Eddie gets his finger pinched in an umbrella. And then Daisy umbrella's like, I can't get you out of my head. The umbrella's like, are you sure you like me? I think you like the other umbrella. He's like, I ditch that other umbrella in a second to get my finger on you once again. That umbrella has a boyfriend. So Daisy and Bichuel are talking and he's like, but all, when you're going to go on break? She's like, I don't even like to break.

I want to work. I need to work. I need to work. And Jason's like, well, you have to take a break at some point. point. You have to do it. She's like, no, I have to work. If I don't work, I'm not doing my job. I need to do my work. I need to work. I need to work. I'm that close to losing my shit. I need to work. So basically her whole thing is like, she is like, wants to prove that she's capable because she had this family that destroyed her, basically. And basically women and her family didn't work. And remember from previous episode, everyone thought she was the, she was the dumb one in the family. So she's really trying to prove herself. And so she's like desperate to work really hard. Yeah, take a break. God damn it. So then she has a moment where it's like the inside bettool comes out. And she's like, ah, I feel like if I don't, if I take a break, then that means I'm not doing well. And then the other bettool comes from behind her. And it's like, girl, you're doing your best.

At least you're not, at least you're trying. Please focus. It's weird. Seconds a real. So then it was like a double bettool. Yeah. Two bettools. So now it's 129, 14 minutes.

past lunch. Alicia checks on the guests, and she's like, can I get you anything? They're like, um, we're ready to go as the tender here? Can we eat the tender? Can you send us an edible tender? Because I'm very rich. I would like to see that made. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. So then Eddie, over on the beach, Eddie and Jenna are waiting for the guests to come. So Eddie's like, so do you want to chat about the other night? She's like, I do, but I don't really have so much to say. Well, I don't really know what you just said, but I'll just keep on talking. I actually had a really nice time with you. And when we were in the hot tub, Alicia was getting all kinds of touchy-feely, and it just wasn't nice on my part to text her, considering that we had kissed that night.

And fuck, I was so drunk by the time I actually went to bed. I don't remember until the next morning. So it's no excuse. But will you please accept it as an excuse? Thank you. Look, this kind of felt like shit, to be honest, I don't want to be a pawn, like, between making someone jealous. But I'm not that person.

but I kind of cut tires really fast. You know, it's just like I'm some kind of a pawn to make a jealous. I don't like that. You know, it's bad enough from dating someone that probably uses a pawn shop, but to actually be a pawn. I don't like it. And then we hear the radio. It's like, oh, lunch, lunch is disturbing to death.

So he apologizes and hugs her. And she's like, okay. But she tells us, I was not born yesterday. And then I definitely try if he had to have a boyfriend. So I don't know how some say I thought. apologize. He's like, oh, you idiot, why have you done this to yourself? You can't fan this fire.

You've just got to let this fire burn out. And of course, the fire I'm talking about is trying to flirt with a girl who you don't understand a word that's coming out of her mouth. So then the guests, they get to the tender. They, like, they're heading to the beach. They get to the beach. And Mike is like, it's my time to Jean. So he welcomes them all.

They're like, hi, Mike, whatever. And Mecca is saying, I'm a Jane of all. trades. So they, like, they are lunches ready. He gets some shots. And he's like, by the way, ladies, you look absolutely gorgeous. And Mecca's like, oh, thanks. You're like the charmer on the yacht. And he says, oh, really? No, they're not. Oh, my God. She's saying that because you just said something that was charming like, okay? They're not hitting on you, Mike. Fuck this fucking guy. So the food is basically, it finally arrives 27 minutes. past lunch.

And so they serve it. And then they're like, wow, this Caesar salad is bus in. And then Jason is checking out. I just want to point out that this man is crying about lunch and he can't get it out. And it's taking so long. And blah, blah, blah. It's so difficult. It's a Caesar salad and pasta salad.

Yeah. Seriously? It's not hard. Come on. Man. So Jason is asking what, what, what, what, what, what the menu is for tonight. He's like, you better not be slow tonight, brother. They have more expectations than what we're delivering. And if you go up there and have a chat about tonight's

dinner, they have their expectations, right? So the guests finish their lunch. They're very happy now. They come back to the boat. Daisy and Lisa greet them. Everything's going nicely. Micah's telling Jenna that they liked it. And Jenna's saying she can't get a read on Mecca because it seems like she's enjoying everything, but her face says otherwise. So then ultimately, Ben and Mecca sit down. with joy also. And they are going to talk about what the plan is for dinner. Okay. Why are you doing this two hours before dinner? This doesn't make any sense. For a six-course dinner, now you're going to sit down. Why is Jason telling him, go ask them what they want for dinner? No, dinner is planned. It's a six-course dinner. They gave their preference sheet. You make the menu, you serve the dinner.

Why is he telling them go have a meeting two hours before dinner with Mecca and ask her what she wants? That's not how it works. It's a boat. You only have some. many things on the boat. I have no, fuck. No oven either. Yes. So Ben's like, all right, you like saviche, right?

She's like, yes, and we love the shrimp spring rolls. Well, how about we do it with lobster? Done. Then he's like, all right, lobster spring roll. Bray's short rib, perhaps. She's like, well, I think the group will be divided. So I love a short rib, but like, is there a seafood alternative? Do you have snapper?

It's like, we do have snapper? He's like, okay, well, let's have a snapper and then for dessert. Like, what's something that you know we're not going to say we don't like? Which I was like, that's a lot of double negatives. How about say, what's something you know that we're going to like for sure? But either way, he's like, oh, something I know that you're not going to like. No, no, something that you know that we're not going to say we're not going to like. Something I don't know that you know you're going to like, but you don't really like it.

No, no. Something we don't know that we don't like. I don't know what the fuck you talk. How about apple pie? Can I just serve you apple pie? And she's like, um, is that your best? And he's like, uh, I don't know. But yeah, is it your best?

Well, I happen to know that you're a special get. Is it your best? Because we want your best to come to the table. All right. So, Ben, may I remind you before you come into apple pie that your oven doesn't work? What are you going to saute an apple pie? I guess you could make it in a Dutch oven. I mean,

Dutch ovens are called Dutch ovens for a reason because you could put them like over or something. But Ben's like, You're not going to cook it by farting under a sheet, Ben. That's true. So Mecca is like, we just want your best to come to the table. Are we overwhelming you? Is apple pie really the best you could do?

He's like, well, no, I wouldn't be happy if you wouldn't. So he's like, this is shot. The shot is a salad nine. on the tricky scale. They don't even want apple box. Last charter, I was just dropping the ball, one very which way, and I've spoken to every chart that you guess, did it make it any better? No, am I

what about it? Yes, do I think they'll get through it? Probably not. We just hear someone go, dinner better be really good. Don, don, don. And that is the end of the Lickjackdowne. And you know, I think this is where they're trying to make it, be like,

look at her. She's being demanding. I'm like, I think she's just asking, she was actually being very reasonable. She was totally working with him. She's like, love that idea. I love the short, great idea. Could you make something for the people who don't eat beat? And he's like, oh, my God, this is so demanding. I'm like, she's literally making just basic requests.

And she's like, can you make me a really amazing dessert? And you're like, what about apple pie? And she's like, we're on a yacht. Can we do better? He's like, I don't know. She's not difficult. Yeah, they're setting her up to be a huge bee. but yes, it's not delivering that so far.

So we'll see. It is funny just watching Ben freak out and then serving a Caesar salad and pasta salad. Like, what is going on over here? Come on. That is so funny. Well, everyone, fun times. Thanks for being here.

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