Watch What Crappens - #3257 Southern Charm S11E15: The Party of DeCraigulation

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

Southern Charm finishes its season at a big cast party where Craig gets dumped and Charley gets Leva’d. Salley’s pestering finally works as she wears Austen down to a situationship where he can make out with her whenever he wants and promise nothing. Aw, romance! Sorry to whatever chickens were harmed in the paving of Salley’s road to fboi paradise. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening,, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello. Welcome to watch what crapans. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello. Ben. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? How are you? I'm good. I'm good. The South by Southwest is this weekend. So we're getting ready to party. But before we do, got some more recaps to get done, get did-de-did. We've got Southern Charm today.

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Patreon.com slash watchwalk Robbins. And now it's time for Southern Charm, Season 11. Episode 15, Carolina Dazed. Mmm. What a scrubs your season finale. Yes. The big, tremendous, exciting season finale. It was so impactful that I actually, now that I think about it,

I'm realizing I had a dream about it, and that's really scary. But, yeah, Southern Charm, am I right? It gets into your head. Yeah, what an episode. Well, the tides are finally turning on Craig. It looks like because we saw the preview for the reunion. And Craig's like, everyone's mean to me. I'm leaving.

I don't even know if I'm coming back. Oh, please. Those pillows aren't going to sell themselves. Get your ass back over here and get your square sewn. Yeah, that's exactly right. The moment he leaves the show is the moment that sewing down south goes south. So he will have to report for duty starting next season once again. That's the minute that Jerry dumps you and gives Sally a chicken raising.

business. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And what a joy that would be for us and the chickens. The moment drop hop enters the big leagues. Oh, she'll be just as good as raising chickens as you are at sewing your pillows. So here we go. Previously this season, guys, who cares? So it's everyone's still in Mexico having dinner after their sweat lodge, spiritual healing session where everybody learned something except Craig because he only stayed for like five minutes. Yeah. So they're having dinner and, um, Shep's like, Sally,

would you like to say something? She's like, no, I just want to sit on this side and mix it up a little bit. So I'm going to sit next to Craig. Mm-hmm. Who you? Mix it up. So, Shep is like, gosh, is anyone else. Is anyone else secretly in love with our shaman?

and often, what, we know you are hot. And he was like, yeah, she was hot. And I was like, whoa, whoa. She was like, wow, she was so cool and so insightful. Maybe get her to move to, get her to move to Sullivan's, yeah. Molly's like, well, now that you've got your new house, it's a home. I love Molly's stink eye that she gives. Molly always looks like she's smelling a fart.

He's just got that look on her face. And I love that about her. She's like, yeah, she's hot. Yeah. Well, she's probably still like, I can't believe I just sat in a sweat lodge. Oh, no, she didn't go to the sweat lodge. I think she got a massage. She's probably like, ew.

I can't believe all these people just went to a sweat lodge. And Sally's like, I'll sweat it out all my negative energy today. And anybody like someone with no negative energy, hey, boys. And she's like, well, we're all so nice. each other for the first time. Look, I know you all heard about Austin's birthday. No one else is going to start drama, so I guess I'm going to have to. Wow, what a nice spiritual dinner. Let's talk about Craig and Austin fighting at that birthday dinner. Okay, a lot of contentious things were said, and I wanted you to come here, you know, to resolve it and come to a beautiful conclusion after

tonight, especially, you know. Hopefully there's no acrimony, and you know, you guys can just live your lives and be friendly because that has always worked traditionally with you too. Yeah, because life is good, especially when you go to Cuba. I speak Spanish now. So, Austin's like, look, I think that's the way it has to be. Like, Craig, man, like, we were on the same path

for the longest fucking time, but people just, like, grow in their respective lives, or at least I stay still and other people grow. And I think that, like, affected me more than Craig, right? Because, like, Craig was like, I'm in a relationship now. And I'm like, what about me, dude? like my cat dad now you know and Craig and I were just like attached the hip for like so fucking long I just think it's like hit me really hard and this is just they're trying so hard because really not that much has happened this season and they're at the season finale and they've come all the way to Mexico and it's like is anybody gonna fight anybody yeah so Whitney and Shep tried to bring it forward and Austin gives it a good go but still nothing's happening so Shep's like oh Craig you're on this show you still get paid so would you like to say anything? And he's like, uh, well, like, sometimes, like, thoughts that you have in your head, you just, like, assume that people understand.

But sorry, this is really hard. What are we fighting about? Well, I definitely do not understand a single thing that's in your head ever. And Craig's like, I know, but because, like, I'm just saying, like, to me, my opinion or, like, reference ship never changed. Our relationship never changed. Sorry, miss type. Typeo. I know.

But the thing is this, with Craig, I can imagine Craig saying our reference ship, like, which is like the relationship of their references, right? Like, our reference ship just never change. But I respect that. You feel that it's different. So, yeah. I've always hated you. I've always located.

You lost it. Nothing has changed. He's like, but it is different. And that's okay. That is okay. You know, Craig is a tough cookie to crack. Now, why would you want to crack a cookie? Is it a hard cookie?

I don't know. Cracking cookies. But when you get some sort of remorse from Craig, it's a huge win. Was that remorse? Was it? What are you projecting remorse onto Craig? There is no remorse. He just told you what you said is completely invalid.

Craig's like, well, I love that we're having this combo and, like, whatever part, like, you'll have me in your life like I'm there for unless it's like something I don't want to do or something to do with one of your businesses which you don't have you fucking loser I'm sorry I'm sort of getting hung up on Austin saying that Craig is a tough cookie to crack because I was like is that the expression who's trying to crack cookies like you try to where you were last Friday night you little thin mint you better tell me right now I know you did it like what is awesome talking about is this this does he just he just like putting a cookie on the table and just try to like smash it or something with his fists?

What is he doing? You're calling yourself an oatmeal, but I know there's some peanut butter and yeah, I can taste it. What am I an idiot? Tell me the truth. Cookie. There's an extra ingredient in this cookie and I don't know what it is, but I swear to God I'm going to crack it. Is it a Brazil nut? No.

Is it a cranberry? No. Brown sugar, white sugar, chocolate chip, walnut. flour. You've got 10 seconds left. You can't crack the cookie code. It was butter. Get out of here.

The judge is Bose. You've got 10 seconds left. What kind of cookie cult is this? Never heard of such a thing. I'm going to draw in my manifestation journal now. Tough cookie to crack, according to Google, is a malaphor, which I didn't even know there was such a thing as a malaphor. Is that a malformed metaphor?

Yeah. It has nothing to do with Cynthia Bailey's sister Mal. Hi, I'm Mal. A Malapur is a mashup of two different idioms that come. So in this case, it combines tough cookie and a tough nut to crack. So, uh, that explains that. It sounds like a cookie. I know. What if you make a cookie with nuts that are hard to crack on the inside? So, uh, Craig tells us, I love Austin and I think he loves me, but, like, Like, we need to be strangers again. And then, you know, like our old friendship needs to be put to bed. And we need to start over for those, you know, predisposed notions to get out the door. Pre-disposed. Are you trying to talk like? I'm sorry, everyone. Your notion is predisposed alcoholism.

We're going to have to get rid of it. Craig and Austin both try to Shep talk. And Shep can barely do it. Except mispronounce is half of the big words he uses. So, guys, just stop. Well, I don't want to have any preconceived notions about them, but I would have to agree with you. And I say this is someone who are often. Stop trying to vilify my accomplishments.

Bravo English. There should be a Bravo dictionary. I know. But you know what? To be fair, how many times do we say just ridiculous things on this show? We're idiots, too. I mean, we're idiots too. We're like, you know, like, no dead air, no dead air.

So like in the rush to fill up space, the amount of metaphors I misuse is just like mortifying. We fill a lot of dead air with dead brain. So we know it. We know that we're hypocrites. Okay. Why do I look purple? Look at me. I look like I'm dying.

Like, I look like I'm suffocating. Look at me. What is that? What is that? What is that? I don't know, but I have my lights on. I have no idea why I'm so purple. I look ridiculous.

I feel like I'm very bright today. You are. I just. When I look like... The sun is shining on my face. Oh, maybe I need to get closer to the light. I just have a light. I have a light shining down on me.

Go I look good now. Little, my loom cube. Hashtag loom cube. I call it a loomy cube, but whatever. That's just my predisposed notion. Okay, keep talking. I'm going to adjust my lights. Literally nothing happened in this episode.

You know, lighting is a tough cookie to crack. While you fix your lighting, I'll move on. It's time for a commercial. It's time. for a crap and's commercial Austin and I have a lot of work to do, but we'll figure it out. So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed that, which is, by the way, that's the way you just end progress.

Yeah, it's a lot, but we'll figure it out. Like, you're not going to figure it out because you're supposed to figure it out right now, and you're not going to. You just don't like each other. You don't like each other, and that's okay, you know. It's over. It's over.

It's done. The friendship is done. It's done. So they're all happy. And then they start eating food. And Rodrigo's like, so I've got to ask you this, girlfriend, what happened last night?

You know, in that van that was, um, see, I don't even know enough gays slang to finish this. This is why we don't, this is why we're not invited at the Glad Media Awards. It was so funny. I was looking at all these pictures.

Like everyone was like at the Glad Media Awards, like Meredith Marks and that, and this podcast and that podcast. in that podcast. I'm like, does Glad know that we are two gay men who owes a podcast? Like, we are gay people. Why aren't we ever invited to Glad stuff? And then I'm sitting here being like, I don't even know the gay slang to use to make fun of Rodrigo right now.

So Rodrigo does bring this up, but it's because Craig is like, yeah, you know, Austin, we've got work to do. But we're going to, you know, I hope you guys enjoyed my peaceful, my peaceful soliloquy or whatever. And Vanita's like, wow, that's the calmest discussion I've seen in weeks. And he goes, yeah, but generally, that's how I treat people. So, okay. Anyway, so Rodriguez, like, uh-huh. Everyone's looking at him like, oh, yeah, right, Craig. So Rodriguez like, okay, so what happened last night then?

And he says, well, a lot of times it feels like people get involved in my business. And sometimes I can't process it as well as I could. But, I mean, it's not that big of a deal when people are in your business. It's just, it's a trigger. Yeah, I'm going to use some more pop psychology TikTok words. Chad GPT. Like, Sally was not in your business. She just said, oh my God, your bangs are in your face.

He's like, shut the fuck up. Like he, all she did was talk about your bangs. And also like Craig's whole thing, his defense here and throughout the rest of the episode is that like he's fine. Just that people start up with him. So like his, his, you know, verbally violent reaction is totally justified because it's people who are messing with him. Yeah, I see people commenting a lot like, well, I don't blame Craig because you know, you keep poking the bear. You keep poking the bear. You keep poking the bear. You see the comment poking the bear all the time. You know what that comment means that like you're a bear? Like, who wants to hang out with a bear? Exactly. I don't want to be friends with the bear that you say one thing wrong and the bear bites your damn head off. Like I don't want to be friends with the bear. Right. Well, it's the same reason why it's problematic if someone is like assaulted and you say, well, they had it coming or she shouldn't have dressed like that or something like that. The implication is that the attacker doesn't have to actually change their bad behavior. It's up to everyone to accommodate

that behavior. If you don't accommodate correctly, well, you're like, you're at fault and we really, like, we can't take any action on the other person. So it's like, no, it's the bad behavior that should be getting the reprimand, not the people having, you know, like asking simple questions or whatever. I'm sorry that you're really going off. a lot on assault right now, and I don't think you heard that Craig was triggered. Craig was triggered. I apologize. That's a bad thing. You're allowed to get annoyed of people. You're allowed to get annoyed of someone's like

overstepping and being nosy, but you also like, like you also doesn't mean you have a right to have any sort of reaction you want. You still have to like behave like an adult and like a civilized member of society and not like a total. rabbit lunatic in Tommy Bahama. Yeah, in Tommy Bahama. So Sally's like, but I was so sad last night, Craig. And he's like, I'm sorry. But you should have come to my door and brought me a coffee this morning and apologized.

He's like, I'm sorry. But you called me a loser. But I don't think that. I would take that back in a heartbeat if I could. I'm going to say that line a few more times this episode. Yeah. Which doesn't give the impression that I got it from chat GP therapy. Yeah, I'll say that line, and I'm also only going to say that line when I'm confronted with my bad behavior.

I won't actually volunteer it, even though I'm aware of my bad behavior. So, Sally's like, you know, he has this way of making amends that I've never seen before. I'm like, did he make amends? Because maybe that's why you didn't see it before, because he's not making amends. He's just responding to you to get you to be quiet. You know, he turns on his charm and his smile. But, like, all you just kind of want to just want, you just want to make amends with him because you just don't want it to happen again, because you're so. fucking terrified. I'm like,

I like Sally's saying, I've just never seen someone make amends like that. You mean, someone's smiling to charm you, but also, like, terrifying you, uh, to do it again. I think that's like a pretty classic and awful behavior in, in people, and certain people, you know, and you should stay away from them. Well, it's a really long way

of saying, like, he's mean, but he's so cute. Yeah. You just forgive him. You just forgive him every time. So she says thank you. He's like, what? I said Thank you. Well, I mean, I think if we talked more, it would be good.

Yeah. What does that mean? Maybe. What does that mean? Instead of you going behind her back, the minute she tells you that she likes you and telling everybody that she's a fucking psychopath and then, you know, screaming in her face when she mentioned that your bangs were in your face. Yeah.

The only person who stopped the talking was you, Craig. You guys used to talk. And you're the one who started acting crazy. So Charlie's like, I mean, it is mind boggling to me that Sally is. is buying this apology because it just doesn't feel like it's enough. And of course, and she's right because now Sally, Sally, who's been the most like, fuck Craig, Craig, Craig's not right. I'm done with Craig. I'm over Craig. He treats people wrong. Now, like the moment that he smiles at her, she's just like, oh, okay. That's true, but it's also

Charlie, who was the exact same way when this was all happening to other people and Charlie was still liking Craig. Now that Charlie has gotten the ick by Craig, it's like he has, he has the this spell. And once this spell is broken and you've been icked out, then you see him for who truly is. We mentioned this on a recap yesterday. And that's exactly what happens. It's like, he screamed in people's faces before and Charlie didn't care. But then she got the ick. And now she's like, ooh, gross. Why is she forgiving him? Well, you just did it. And then Sally just did it when Vanita was saying it to her. You know, it's like a, it's the cycle this year. But the thing is that, like, I feel like Charlie, and probably you could argue Vanita got the ick on Craig.

They saw him for who he is and like, ugh, this is unacceptable. But then Sally gets the ick, but she still goes back and she's still like, oh, he's still so cute. Like, where is your ick-fueled disdain? You've abandoned it. Like, this is sad for you, actually. Like, you should actually be grossed out by everything he does now. well i think sally's more um also conscious of wanting to be on the show well and also having mail approval yes so yes that matters matters so um they're gonna go back to the hotel now

and craig's like a perfect end to a perfect day i'm like okay so they load into the vans and uh sally and charlie and with craig and austin's like oh my god those girls immediately go into His van, this is funny to me. They're like, oh, my God, PTSD. I'm never going to ride in another van with Craig. I was like, okay, yeah, I'm going to jump right in the van with Craig. Then he's right, by the way. That's a totally valid observation, and it just goes to show, you know, like all this stuff is bullshit that they're saying.

But Vanita holds her ground, and she's in the Austin van. So now we're back in Charleston. And it says, like, on screen, back in Charleston four days later. and Madison and Brett are heading home with Teddy Little sweet Teddy the baby Teddy So they go they have the baby And they're in their car And Teddy was in the hospital in the NICU for two weeks

Because she came in six weeks early So now she's able to like hold Teddy and bring her home And it's like very sweet and cute and lovely Yeah And so it's first car ride And Madison's like Make sure you drive good Oh, she just looks so cute.

You ever think you could love something so much? And he's like, yeah, you. Oh, that's so cute. So on a nice, boring, supportive man. I know, right? And then Brett's like, are you ready for Irish twins? She's like, please. So they get home and...

What are Irish twins? That's when you have like two babies in like the same calendar year. Oh, I thought it was like babies who aren't twins, but they're just so drunk that they think they're twins. To my call, hello. Look at you, you're in my bed now. I didn't know if I was seeing double or if it's another me. It's another me.

We're twins. Drugs babies. Um, so basically they get home and Hudson holds the baby. It's actually very sweet. Hudson's holding this baby and Madison starts to cry. It's like a really lovely scene. And she's like, Hudson held him teddy like this. It's like my two babies. The only one that would be better if his holes all.

I'm also holding a little corn cob. And you know, naming her after my late father. It's like, Ted is the miss a piece of my family, you know. I hope I'm not pregnant again because I only cry when I'm pregnant. Oh my God, I'm such a beta right now. Yeah. So now Charlie is unpacking and she calls her mom. And her mom's like, what do you up to have that vacation?

Did you please any man? Please tell me. Please tell me. Were you decent? Okay. She's like, no, well, Mom, I'm just like unpacking right now. But it was good. went surfing. Did you stay upright? Did you say upright? You know, your sister can stand upright on

surfboard. Can you do it? You can't quite do it? I hope you stood up, but not longer than any of the man. Okay. He's like, no, mom, God. Did any of the men see you fall over on the surfboard? That's really embarrassing for you. I would hate for that to happen to you, sweetheart. So she's like, well, I mean, it was fun, but, hold on, let me make 20 faces. is, well, I mean, Craig and Sally kind of got into it. I mean, it wasn't even an argument. He just kind of like went off on her. She's like, uh-oh, was there a little bit of alcohol involved?

Do you know how boys are? Was he drinking a little Southern comfort? Boys will be boys. Boys will be boys. Because having a sip of boys will be boys. Well, for sure. But I've been, you know, absolutely blackout drunk before I've never talked to someone that way.

Normally when I get blackout drunk, I just give that face, you know, that really sad emoji face like, I know the face, honey, the sack boy face. We all know it in this family, honey. Please stop making that face. That face isn't decent. Oh, honey, stop doing Charlie Brown crying over baseball he missed. Why are you looking like Snoopy's being strangled? Stop it. Well, Mom, it was a big turnoff for me. And I haven't really spoke to him since Mexico. And he called me yesterday. Oh, did you answer it? Did you answer it in a decent way, honey? She's like, no, I didn't. But you know he's the star of the show, right?

You want to be famous, right? If you're not going to have a child, at least be famous, honey. Yeah, and so we see that Craig was like, hey, I don't know if you saw that Patricia's having a Carolina date party. She's like, yeah, I'm going to go with my friend. So Denise is like, you're going to talk with the party? Well, listen, y'all need to have a conversation and hold him accountable. You hold him accountable. We all need to be held accountable.

We also need their hands held at night. So forgive him. Forgive you, poor lonely person. Listen, you want to be sitting in, look at that couch next to you. Look how empty it is. Think about how much better you'd feel. There was a baby there. There could be a baby there.

A baby with a free pillow. And she's basically like, well, mom, the other people in my friend group have known him a lot longer, but no one else would like holding him accountable because they don't feel like he'll be receptive to it. I'm like, yes, Charlie, as we've all seen, would be the perfect. person to hold Craig Conn over accountable, despite like Shep and Austin basically yelling at Craig every single season about the things he does wrong. It's going to be Charlie gets through to him. Well, yeah. She's going to make Craig see the light. Yeah. The decent lot. And the mom's like, well, you know what? Maybe it's like Patty Bell says, no, he needs a new attitude. That's what he

need. Mom, I don't even know who that is. Why does a pod lady have a song? So, now it's one hour before the Carolina Day party and everyone's getting ready and Patricia arrives with Eddie and Ryan Ryan makes us I think his first appearance of the season after his attempt at being a friend of last year yeah now he's back to just you know arm candy gay yeah and yeah and Patricia comes in because she's throwing this party and so she's wearing like a champagne dress like with champagne not dress but jacket like with champagne bottles all over it and on one side the Champagne bottles are right side up, but the other side they're all like turned over.

And it just looks like she's being like attacked. Like she's walking through the streets and people are like, shame, shame. And just throwing bottles at her, like spilling all over her or something. It's a disgraceful, disgraceful look for Carolina's day. So it's the usual thing. It's the season finale party is in an old house with wooden floors and a raw iron gate outside. That's how these seasons always end. It's like the same place.

Is it the same place? It looks like it's the same place every season finale. They even have those little rooms they go off into on the side where they yell at each other. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same place, right? It's got to be. Or maybe this is just a standard place in Charleston, but it always feels like they're in the

same rickety old event space with like a little patch of garden in the front and a rot iron gate. Because I feel like that rot iron gate has been in the background of so many famous season finale scenes. I'll always remember Catherine and Ashley having a fight outside that gate. Was it season five where they had the big showdown and everyone was like furious. I just feel like that right iron gate was like a character in that scene. It was just standing there like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Ladies, if this gets too much more, he didn't.

I'm going to have to step in. Yeah. A lot of them. Yeah, a lot of the season finale's and the one where Ryan was, who was Ryan fighting with in last year's season finale in that little room? He was fighting with J.T. There was an issue because Ryan had, a barber had made, like, a racially insensitive joke. No, J.T.'s, J.T. said that, like, Ryan's barber had made a racially insensitive joke or something like that. And then they're like, Ryan, how could you still go to this barber?

Wasn't that the situation? Oh, gosh. I remember it was like a whole thing. Yeah. And they were like, they sat Ryan down and they, like, were all in this one room. but people kept coming into it and Ryan was trying to defend himself and he's like, no, I spoke to the barber and he said he absolutely didn't do that and you shouldn't listen to JT about this sort of stuff because it was an issue with Vanita but then he people had just

kept them like Madison's in there and then Leva then Patricia and just everyone get pouring into the room. Yeah. I don't know why I remember it so vividly all of a sudden. Okay, so Carolina Day commemorates the defeat at British Sullivan's Island in 1776. But basically it's an excuse for us to use Randy as a pinata. Have people beat him with baseball bat. All right, y'all, I gave Randy some peas today. Just go out there and hit him until it falls out. Don't worry if you make him bleed.

You can't call 911 on account of the fact that he put his phone in the air friar this morning. Patricia, you look lovely. She's like, oh, thank you. You look handsome as always. Your mouth is still moving. Are you saying something? I'm trying to read your lips. No, what do you mean?

And then Eddie, who's one of the two gays, is like, Austin, you need a pin for your jacket. I know, I know. It keeps falling. My God, my collar's awful. God, I may have to put it down a little bit farther than maybe like that. I don't know. Velvet.

One of my wearing velvet at this heat. I've never seen velvet in summer. Don't know why you do that. He's like, well, yeah, we shouldn't have worn velvet. I'm fucking sweating, sweating. But I'm wearing the tie that Craig gave me. It's made out of feathers. God, sometimes you forget.

You're so busy taking care of your cats when you're a cat dad. Do you wear velvet in the summer by accident? So Charlie comes and Rodrigo and Tyler come. Everybody's coming, you know. And Rodriguez like, I'm sorry, girlfriend, but I just ate a crab cake. Whoa. And she's like, yeah, I just chug champagne. Even so I'm probably going to burp in your ear.

Miss you, you haven't seen you since Mexico. So everyone's like, oh my gosh, you look so nice. You don't look so nice. No, you look so nice. No, you look so nice. And then Craig is driving with Corey to the party. Corey, you do not look nice. What is Corey?

What is even wearing? Oh, my God. Corey is in the Colton School of trying to serve a luke, and you're just not a luke person. And, you know, Corey, I thought was sort of like, I've always really couldn't, I've never been able to stand Corey, But I think like when we first met him on Winter House, he was very fratty and he had like a baseball cap and he was like this jack guy, whatever.

And like he had that like hot bro energy. But now he's trying to be like Benson Booney or whatever. His hair, he's grown out his hair in this weird direction that is not flattering. But he's also, he's doing a blazer. And he's the chest area. He's filling in the negative space on his chest with not pearl necklaces like Colton, but basically a different type of type of necklaces. It's like a series of necklaces. And it's just he's just serving way too much look for basically who is what his persona is and also like what this show is.

I'm like silk parachute pants. And he's trying to get rid of the pearl necklaces because like Harry, Harry Styles has been off for the past year. I don't know if anybody knows, but like he's just making it comeback. So I think when they were shooting this, he was like, I can't wear Harry. He's on break. I'll go Benson Boone. Yeah, with some Colton in the middle with the pearls. It wasn't pearl, but he knows like the strands of necklaces on hold down your chest.

Yeah, he's very Timo-coated. So, um, he got, so they're talking and Craig's like, let's get primed and ready with kissing spray. It has 24-carat gold particles in the mouth spray. Kurt is like, tell a girl, I'm going to put some gold in your mouth tonight. Better than the source she's expecting, I'm sure. And so Craig's like, wow, it stays good. I don't know where they got the gold that's edible, though. Oh, Craig, your Martha Stewart Empire is really just...

Yeah. Taking out. Can't wait for you to be on top chef as a guest judge this season. I know, seriously. Person who's never heard of edible gold. You can learn more about that. And Corey's like, well, I haven't done that since middle school. I don't know what he's talking about.

But Craig's like, so I thought I would be taking Charlie to the event tonight, but like, I don't know what's going on. He's like, well, have you even actually talked to her since Mexico? He's like, no, we acted like things were the same. Whereas, like, instead of talking every day, it was like every other day. Oh, so he's like, yeah, there's been a change of energy. And, like, it's just because of a misunderstanding. Like, I mean, we can fix that. You know, we can fix that.

But nothing's happened. He's like, so nothing irreversible. He's like, no, no, nothing's happened. And Corey's like, uh, yeah, seems. I'm not even here, and it seems like something has happened, Greg. Hello. If somebody is talking to you every day and then suddenly stops talking to you after you act like a jackass, yeah, something's happened.

So they come in and Whitney's like, whoa, well, whoa, wow, wow, wow, look at you. Who dressed you? He's like, wow, Whitney, I channeled my inner you. I feel like it's a good 70s porn star look. And he's like, well, more like, too legit to quit. Like, vanilla, vanilla eyes. Sir, that's MC Hammer, please. It's Whitney.

It's Whitney. Whitney is so white, he can't even get white rappers, right. I know. Whitney's like, well, I'm just going to go home now and listen to McElmore and the Lairor. So Charlie is talking to Patricia, and she's like, thank you again for inviting me to this. This is awesome. What are you drinking champagne? She's like, yeah, you want to get some.

Let's go get some. Who are you, by the way? Are you a waitress? talking awfully familiar to me. And then Sally is and Vanita arrive and they're saying hi to everyone and Molly and Wittner

say hello and Patricia's Sally's talking to Patricia saying her jacket looks amazing and Sally is saying how Madison helped her get her look together on FaceTime

and also relays that Madison won't be coming because of the Bibbe Whatever happened to nannies, am I right? Hi, does that make you want to have a baby? And Sally,

says, well, I mean, I'm not done for my party, does, Miss Patricia, but I still want my baby, you know? I mean, I don't know. Well, how about let's go in there and see who we can have one with. Hey, we need a sperm donor. I mean, who you want grandkids, right? Whitney would be a great sperm donor. Oh, whole, sperm donor, unless you want like a punk rocker, someone who is like really rebelling against the system. Mother. Fortunately, it's hard for me these days to get a rena up.

So Whitney, I know what that means spelled backwards. I'm not an idiot. Sorry, mother. So then Shep is bringing, everyone is shocked. It wasn't only shocking to us. We saw this in the preview in our trailer trash, and we were like, what the hell? Shepp is with an age-appropriate woman? What in the world is happening here?

I was like, I recognize this woman. She's been on the show before, and it's no, it's just because we analyzed her on our our trailer trash so intensely like, wow. As far as we can tell, this looks like an age-appropriate date for Shep. I know I'm reading for these crazy kids. Yeah. So her name is Hannah. Her energy is really funny and fun.

I really like her, actually. We don't see that much of her, but I liked her. So she comes in and like some crazy polka dots. And she is Vanita's tennis instructor. And Austin's like, wow, is Vanita actually good at tennis? She goes, yeah. She's really good. So don't fuck with Vanita.

So Shep's like, this is Hannah. This is Molly. We've known each other for 20 years. Not 20. 16, 17, 40, 37, 90. I don't know. How old am I? Where am I?

Were you in Vietnam? She's like, yeah, since college. Yeah, gosh. So Molly and Hannah are like the same age. Then Leva arrives and she's wearing this like under. I can't describe it. It was like this purple thing that was like under the boobs

and up and around or whatever. And Corey's like, hey, what's happening? And Craig's like, I have no idea. Like, Charlie is actively avoiding me. And Corey's like, oh, have you all not talked? I'm like, what part of actively avoiding you have you don't understand, Corey? No, she keeps running away from me.

Watch, there she is. You just see her run past. Hey, Sally, did you see that? She's like, yeah, I saw it. Now I just feel like I'm getting clown. to me, what the hell? Craig, you just got to move forward with your life. So, Craig, so here's the thing.

Craig, Craig knows, I think, on some level that, um, what's her face, um, Charlie was turned off by Craig losing his mind. And Craig blamed Sally for that. So, uh, Craig's revenge scheme is that he's going to make Sally feel like shit right now. He goes, I just don't understand because I think we were a lot closer than anyone knew. You know, we FaceTime for like hours every night. We would talk for days, every hours for days, every day. Like when she'd be bored, she would just FaceTime me.

When she was falling asleep, she'd FaceTime me. And Sally's like, she did. My crap. It's like, yeah, you don't want to talk to me? Okay, fine. I won't try and work anything out with you. I'll just ruin your relationship with Sally. Yeah.

I will tell Sally that we, even though you probably told me several times, please don't let Sally know how much we talk because it would really break her heart. Here's Craig, you know, laying it all out there that we talk all the time. And also, by the way, Charlie was going to come with me and my brother and sister-in-law to France. We were going to travel together. I was going to pick her up from the airport. What, Craig? That's so committed.

How could you? I was going to pick her up from LAX. Oh, my God. Everybody on Bravo knows that means. marriage. Craig, you're blowing my mind. I was going to meet her in Marina del Rey. I don't even know where that is, but I know it's far. I am shook that you guys are as close as you're saying. Looking back, I think there were so many signs that their relationship was more serious than she was letting on. And then we see clips of like them being on the beach and Craig being like, look, it's a beach. And Charlie being like, yeah. Yeah. It's always. It's like the notebook. It's like watching the notebook on speed. What are you guys talking about?

And also, Sally, I cannot feel bad for you. I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm so over it. Yeah, it was shitty girl code, you know, for Charlie to, to go pursue, not pursue Craig, but like take him up on his offer. But like, I just don't feel, I just never felt bad about it because I felt like Sally also was similarly selfish when it came to Vanita. And I just think that, like, you prove.

that what matters most to you in a moment is if you like a guy, you're going to go after the guy, even if it means your friend is going to feel some sort of way about it. So, like, turnabout is fair play. And the fact that, like, this has been talked about so much and you're still getting all in a tizzy about it when you're also claiming that you, like, love Austin. I'm like, I can't, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Or, as Austin would say, you can't have a tough cookie and digest it as well. You can't have cake and you can't have a cake, okay?

You can't crack a cake. You can't crack a cake. Yeah, also, you came on this season planting your flag in two out of three leads. And that's not fair either. Like, you don't get to just come in and call dibs on everybody. I mean, she's ridiculous. Yeah, it's too much. It's too much.

And the reason why. Oh, sorry. I was going to say also that like Charlie, the reason why also Charlie doesn't tell you about any of these things is because you freaked out every single time. And so, like, at some point, she was like, I'm just not, I'm not sharing this part with you anymore. because you always have this hostile reaction. And then, like, you know, and then, and wasn't it just like two episodes again where Sally was like,

I don't want to know. Just don't tell me anything. I'm sick of it. And she gets so mad, which she doesn't know something. Yeah, I think that Charlie, you know, this is my that said. Charlie should have definitely handled this differently. She should have said, listen, I really didn't have interest in Craig, but we're hanging out a lot more.

I do kind of have interest in him. Can I have permission to date? You know, like, can I, please. Instead, she's like, well, I don't really even like him. What are you talking about? No, I don't like him. Okay, well, I did. It's not a date.

Okay, well, it was a date. Okay, well, it was a date. Okay, well, you know, I don't really like him, though. But I, okay, okay, I do really like him. So she's kind of handling this wrong. I think of it with someone like Sally. You have to be like, Sally. All is fair and love and war.

You lost this one. My turn. Okay. You've already got, you're already all over Austin. Like, come on. Yeah, well, also, maybe it just shows that their friendship is not like, like has some imbalances. Because the reason why she was so wishy-wash it with Sally was because she was basically afraid of Sally's reaction. Like that was the fundamental thing.

And she's always worried about what Sally will do and what Sally would say. So yes, you either stand up and say, Sally, this is the way it's going to be. But she's not going to do that because she knows Sally's probably going to freak out on some level or like be like, you know, you know, annoying. So I think that maybe they just don't have a friend, like their friendship is maybe not like a good friendship and they just don't realize it yet. Yeah. And but the thing that still bothers me is that Sally is making it like, oh, Charlie chose some guy over a friend. Sally, you would choose a guy over any of these people. Yeah, you did it with Vinita. We all know it. You do it all the time. So stop. You did it with Vanita. And whether or not you think Vanita's, you know, like Vinita is justified over her annoyance with Craig. like wherever you fall on that the point is that vanita and charles and vanita and sally were like tight friends and vanita had real negative feelings about craig and was like like this guy is my enemy

like stop flirting like it hurts me when you flirt with him and sally was like whatever so like whatever you feel about vanita the point is that sally just not so much disregarded her friend she chose herself over her friend in that moment so i just i just have no sympathy here in this moment for the storyline where she finds out that like oh charlie and craig face time i don't know and also like sally you should be smart enough to know that craig has a manipulative asshole and he's going to say things to intentionally get you mad yeah and you're letting him do it to you again oh my god it's just what he did to you know when he when he when you told him that you liked him and then he turned around and told everyone oh my god she's crazy this girl's like unstable like she's a hurricane like

you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's kind of doing the same thing now where it's like, oh, okay, I think I'm, I'm sensing that Charlie is about to fuck me over. Okay. So I'm going to take her out as I go. And Charlie is a manipulative liar. And she's been lying to everybody this whole time. You know, he's just villainizing. He's villainizing whatever woman it doesn't work out with.

That's his go-to. So, gross. And yeah, Sally, be smarter. But, I mean, that's a tall order. And also, this is coming on the heels, quite frankly. I'm going to go back to earlier in the episode. It goes back to her being justifiably really mad at Craig for the way he treated her on that van.

And she's like so mad, so mad, so mad. And she whips everyone into a tizzy. Like, Craig is like this and like that, da, da, da, da, da. And then he gives, like, the most basic mail it in half apology. And she's like, oh, okay, it's all good now. But, like, you've brought everyone into this. You brought everyone into this drama, which, by the way, you should have because what Craig did was wrong.

And then, like, the moment he bats his eyes at you, you're like, So she still puts the guy and Craig over anyone else, but then she wants us to feel bad for her when someone else was like, you know, sort of centering Craig in their lives. I just, like, no, I don't. I can't, and I won't. I cannot. I will not. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

Cookie cracked. So Whitney's like, well, today, we're honoring Carolina Day. And we're commemorating battles of Sullivan's Island in 1776. The year Shep was born. Hey! When a small band of patriots defied the British Navy and defended Charleston against impossible odds, Viva la Revolution. And let's have some fun, oh.

And Whitney does like the punk rock thing. I'm like, yes, I love Whitney's version of being punk rock is referencing a moment of Revolutionary War. The original punk rockers. Revolution war. I also like the guy who introduced Whitney, who's like, and now to say some poignant words is Whitney Suther Smith. Only poignant words?

What are you talking about? It's Carolina Day. Meanwhile, Corey tries to flirt with Molly again. And he's like, hey, how are you? You look hot tonight. Got that, got that ass and the tits out. God, he's so fucking gross, this guy. Why is he on here?

He is the worst. And it still really bothers me. Like, I haven't checked on this. social media lately because who would. And so I don't know if his, um, if his feelings have evolved, but it still really bothers me that he, he posts like lots of, you know, that he was like, liking lots of transphobic memes while here he is at this party, you know, liberally borrowing sartorially from, I would argue, the LGBTQ, um, a world of fashion, you know? And like, It's just, it's just such a fucker, you know?

Yeah. I don't know how to say that more eloquently. Non-binary in Timo purchases only. I don't know how to say that right. I'm tired. The LGBTQ world of fashion. Another reason. Here's another reason.

Ben is never nominated for a GLAD award. Whatever is making their case, Ben. You're making their case. But you know what I'm saying? The look that he is using is fully referencing styles that have come from the gay community and the larger, and like, and not just like gay, like trans gay, like trans gay, everything, our whole umbrella.

And he's clearly pulling from it. And I don't mind, I'd love when actually people assimilate and whatever. It's like, I love the normalization of these things. But he's clearly pulling from it and trying to get cred from it. But like, but like, you know what his social media is. I get what you're saying because it kind of comes from that in a way, but it comes from Harry's house. But where was that?

Well, Harry Styles is taken from it too. Of course. Well, that's what I'm saying. In his mind, it's not coming from that community. It's coming from Harry Styles and he's doing it to get Poussay, say. It's not, he's not thinking about, you know, the trails movement. But I do see what you're saying because ultimately it does come from there. Yeah, exactly. It's like, and I'm not saying that like, oh, if you are going to go for that look,

you need to somehow like, you know, like put on a thing, like a button that says, I acknowledge that this look comes from as roots. say I'm like, you know, whatever community. I'm just saying, like, that the fact that he, on the one hand, has liked these transphobic memes. And on the other hand, is perfectly happy to cherry pick, you know, things that have, you know, come from the world of the LGBT world of fashion. Yeah, no, I got what you're saying.

I mean, basically, he's a classless piece of trash, is kind of where I'm coming from. In both mental and physical, mentally and physically. Okay, he's disgusting trash. And I hate that he's even on this show because they're at least pretending on this show to be classy. They're not, but they at least try to all pretend. And he doesn't even. He just comes in like, hey, nice ass and tits, bitch. Yeah.

He's just disgusting. And Molly seems kind of grossed out by him. And he's like, what do you have to do tomorrow besides make me breakfast? And she's like, yeah, I'm not making you. you breakfast. If you were smaller, I'd feed you to my corn snake. So please be allowed. Yeah. And then she like pats him and he's like, eh, don't pat me like that. Tongue sticks out. I'm like, oh my God. Don't be on my TV like that. So then Patricia and Eddie and Ryan just leave. And then Molly checks in on Charlie. And she's like, hey, are you okay? You don't seem to be flirting

with Austin right now. Something's off. And she's like, well, I'm sorry, you're Charlie. I got my blondes confused. Charlie, are you okay? She's like, well, I haven't spoken to Craig yet. She's like, are you going to talk to him tonight? She's like, well, I've been waiting to talk to him, but he's been preoccupied. But now it's like one of those things where I'm like, now I've been so long.

Like, do I have to be up and go to him and be like, can you come up and talk to me? Like, I don't want to do that. I've got to be decent. Must be decent. She's like, yeah. I mean, it's Craig. So he's not going to come talk to you. So, yeah.

I mean, if you're going to do it, just, I mean, you have to do it. So she goes off to do it and Charlie's saying hi to someone, but she interrupts and he's like, I mean, you're so weird. Like every time I walk in a room, you're like dodging me. And she's like, yeah, okay. So let's go talk then, I guess. So they go out and Leva see Sally. And Sally's like, I'm so upset y'all. And Leva's like, what's wrong?

Yeah. And so Leva's like, they're like, what's wrong? And Sally goes, well, after the conversation, I just had. with Craig. I'm just like, shook. What's happening? What happened, girlfriend? Well, he was telling me things that I had no idea about, like Charlie, like she wants to travel with him and they face-time hours a day. And I'm just surprised by how deep they were. And you didn't know that? No, I didn't know how close until tonight. And Molly's like, yeah, no one surprised. But Sally is, like typically the hot best friend that gets all the guys. So I think that's a real blow to

Sally's pride. Which ding, ding, ding, ding. Thank you, Molly. Thank you. So Vanita says, well, has someone is your best friend. Are they going to go after the man you like? Yes or no? No? Okay. And if they go after the man they know you like or are they going to hide it? Yes or no. And Rodrigo's like, um, she ain't your best friend, girly. That time, that was a joy. quote. So Molly's like, well, you're realizing that you don't know her as well as you thought, right? She's like, so then Craig and Charlie have a cheers. And Craig is like, hey, I was excited to see you all day. Yeah, well, I haven't seen you since Mexico, but I feel like I haven't really talked to you about you and Sally's confrontation and like how it made me feel, you know.

That's so funny to me, Charlie, it's not like, I'm going to go stand up for my friends. And it's like, oh, my God, you don't understand how it made me feel. I think it's very Charlie. It's like, it happened to Vanita. She didn't care. She's like, why are you guys ruining my vacation? You know, but it happened right in front of her in the car. And she's like, well, you didn't even ask me how I felt about it.

And he's like, well, he looks shocked. He's like, I mean, but you never. She goes, yeah, but neither did you, Craig. And he says, well, okay, but like, you know, everyone has bad nights and Sally got into my head. And she goes, no, it's not just Sally. It's like whenever you have an argument, like you piss each other off all the time. Like I wish it didn't turn into a confrontation. I mean, it's upsetting to me.

Well, of course, it was awful, awful to be in a van with Sally. What a monster. And I would take it back in a fucking heartbeat, but I can't. But like you and I have a credible, an incredible relationship. Like we FaceTime every night. She's just, yeah, well, not every not since Mexico. Okay. But up to that, it was like a month and a half of FaceTiming every night.

I would take it back on the heartbeat. I'm not denying it, Craig. I'm not denying it, okay. I met your friends. We had a great time. Okay, but like I'm saying like before, like I was seriously interested in you and I'm saying my switch flipped in Mexico. Like I only see us as friends now.

Wow. I let my guard down with Charlie and like this isn't a rebound or like something that I'm distracting myself with. So for it all to be a race in one bad night just sucks. Oh, you let your guard down. Oh, you let your guard down and you screamed at a woman in a van. Oh, I feel so bad for you. I actually love this.

I love the fact that earlier in the season, he was like, I just am afraid to get into a relationship with Charlie because what if I, what if I, you know, like, what if I basically, like, don't want to be there anymore? Then I don't want to, like, I don't want to break her heart. And then she's the one who dumps him. Exactly. And you can let your guard down all you want, Craig. That's not the problem is that you've got.

got everyone else having to put up their guards because you're fucking insane. And he's like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And after my breakup, like, I think I was worried, you know, I would never like someone again. But I had like, big enough crush on you that like, I would have picked you over my ex. And I didn't think I would have ever felt like that again. I love that Craig. It's like his revenge storyline is dead.

So he's like, well, I still would have picked you over page. Suck it, Page. Yeah. And I also don't believe this at all. I think this is a pure manipulation. So she's like, really? He's like, I didn't know that. He's like, well, yeah, because it was never like we never got there.

But like we had a lot of fun, you know, FaceTiming every night. She's like, well, I'm not going anywhere. Friendship-Waz. Yeah, well, we're never going to be just friends, quote, unquote, Paige DeSorbo. It's like, now you're just saying page lines. Come on, man. And then she's like, well, we can try to just be friends. Like, look, I believe in our friend zone.

Okay. And I think it will work for us. We will be friends. God. So then we, Tyler is checking in with Shep. He's like, oh, my God. Who's that girl? Who'd you bring here?

She's cute. She's cute. And Shep's like, yeah, she's great. And she was like, I'm 37. I want a child. and I was like, I want, I'm 45, I am a child. Wow. And Tyler's like, Tyler's like, you don't want a child.

Why are you? He's like, I think I do. He goes, no, you don't. And he goes, but like I'd be a donor, a boner donor. Gors, garch, garch, garch, gars, gorse, gorse, gorse, gorse. So then everyone's sitting in the foyer and Sally comes up and love us like, Sally, what's going on? And Charlie's like, hey, Sally, come over here.

Come on, come on. She's like, no, I'm upset with you, Charlie. like I'm a lot upset with you. You know, Craig told me all this stuff like about y'all being in a relationship and I had to learn it from Craig. And she's like, oh my God. I mean, maybe I just didn't want anyone to know, you know?

Like, come on. So you're totally fair unless your best friend liked him before, you know. You can't have the friendship anymore, you know? Well, Charlie was like, well, if I ever felt like Sally like seriously was interested in Craig, I never would have gone on the oyster date in the first place. I mean, I went on that date because I believe she was 1,000% okay with it. Like with how good friends the B are, I thought if she wasn't okay with it, she would have

told me that. And we see a flashback of Sally been like, well, I'm over, Craig. And if you want to go on a day with him, you soon can do it because I'll go over him. Which by the way, is not what someone says when they're over someone. Like, I was like, clearly Sally has feelings, but like, I know. Yeah. That was the funny thing of the clip. She's like, I thought Sally was totally okay with it.

And I was like, fine, if you want to date that monster and hurt my feelings and ruin my life. She's like, okay, I got an okay. But she can't get away with it because Leva is there and Leva is the ultimate on this show of like, hi, I'm Leva, I'm here once a year and it's to judge you. So you can't really do that to your friend because your friend really liked him. Like, okay, Leva, but you haven't seen Sally in action all season long either because I feel like your lecture would extend. Yeah.

And Leva's like, is there something you're not saying? Sally and Sally is like, well, the text I sent you before you and Craig's date. You know, I just can't do this. And so there was a text that Sally sent right before the date, which by the way, by the way, sending a text right before the date, I don't know. I think that's all. I don't know. I just, I just, nothing has sat right with me with Sally all season long. So Sally says in her text, she texted her and the text said, well, I feel sad. Ugh. I don't want to have feelings for Craig. So it's like a passive-aggressive way to be like, I still like Craig. It's almost like a test. Will you cancel the date? Will you do this? But you're

not actually saying, you know what? I really do like Craig. And I don't think I was being honest to my feelings. And it makes me really uncomfortable that you're going out with him because he really, he really hurt me. And I feel like you shouldn't do this. I feel like a good girlfriend wouldn't do this. But instead she's just sort of dangling this like notion she wants Charlie to like, and for all this and right before the date. I just feel like it's a manipulation and I don't like it. You know, I have to stick up for Sally here because I think she's pretty, she's been pretty clear this whole time.

Like, I don't want you dating Craig. I like Craig. And she even said at the beginning of the season, if you like Craig, that's fine, but you need to tell me right now because I like Craig. And it looks like you'd like Craig. And Charlie's like, no, I don't like Craig. And so Sally is pursuing things with Craig and hanging out with Craig and this girl in a

hot tub. And she keeps telling her, Are you sure you don't like Craig? Because it seems like you like Craig. And she's like, nope, not into Craig at all. And then it ends up that she, that Craig, she's the one that Craig liked in the hot tub the whole time. And then she starts dating him.

And I'm sure that Sally does feel stupid. Like, here I am. I'm hanging out with my friend and Craig thinking that I'm flirting with Craig. And meanwhile, she was flirting with Craig and getting him behind him. Like, I see that she would feel that way. I don't think that she's completely, I don't think that she's completely being manipulated. I think she was pretty upfront with her. feelings on it. It's just, I just feel like she doesn't have the right to, like, call dibs on every guy.

That's what bugs me. I just wish Charlie handled it better and said right at the beginning. I don't know if I like Craig. He's cute. We flirt it at the beach a little bit, but I'd like the opportunity to flirt with him too. Like, why do you get him? Yeah, I mean, I also, I see why Sally feels the way she feels. Um, I just, I think that there, I think Charlie is allowed to say, I'm not interested in Craig. And then they hang out a few times. And then she's like, you know, maybe I am interested in Craig. And she's like, you know, and Sally did kind of like, it wasn't just like, hey, are you interested in Craig?

She basically was like, if you're interested in Craig, like, you better tell me. Like, she was sort of like threatening her. It was not like a friendly, like girl talk, you know, circle of trust. It was, it was kind of like a false option. Like, if you like Craig, you have to tell me. Because it was like, if you like Craig, you have to tell me because if you like him, our friendship is over. That's kind of what the implication was.

and I just think, like, I believe that Sally has a right to feel hurt. I feel like she has not had really much perspective on this, given her, like, that the same thing happened with her and Vanita. And on top of that, I just think that her sending that text off right before the date is a manipulation. Like, she may be her, and she may be her way of saying, like, oh, I wish she would been, like, I actually have to be honest with you. I do like cragging this hurts.

But she didn't do that. And I think she was, I don't know. Like, it just, it all rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, I get it. I mean, Sally, in general, rubs me the wrong way. I like her. But you know what I can't help it? I can't help but like Sally because, I mean, she's just a ding bat, you know?

I don't think she has any, I don't think she has any bad intentions. I just think she's kind of a ding bat. And, you know, she just likes all these guys. Like, I don't dislike her. I just think she's wrong a lot of the time. I just, I guess I expect more from Charlie because Charlie seems a lot smarter. And like seeing how. Charlie deals with Craig in this episode.

I really liked how she dealt with Craig. I thought it was very like straightforward. It was, I don't know. It seems like she's grown a lot over the course. So anyway, I would expect more from Charlie to just be like, Sally, here's the deal. You know, instead of letting Sally go so over the top. Because now Sally's being ridiculous and now she's basically got Leva against Charlie. And now she's got Vanita against Charlie.

And now she's got all the girls against Charlie. And that's not going to do well. for Charlie to remain on the show. So I don't know, I wish Charlie, I wish everybody handled it better. And you know, here we are again, arguing over these people when it's Craig. It is Craig.

I know. Starting all of those. It's crazy. Last season I really liked Sally. This season I found Sally to be really annoying. But like Southern Charm is, I think, probably the best example of like a reset show. Because every time there's a new season,

I find that my alliance, like my allegiances change around. The past two seasons, I've been actually very complimentary towards Austin. And I've been like, especially this season, I've been very anti-Krag. But in the previous seasons, I've been very pro-Kreg. I mean, watch it happen next year where suddenly I'm pro-Krag and anti-Austin again. Like, I feel like I'm always changing sides. It's not you. It's them.

It's what they're doing to us. They manipulate us, you know? We talk about, we can see them manipulating everybody else. But when it comes to us, we feel like, oh, we're special. We're the special one. But that's not, but, you know, we are. Like, Austin's come in in the past, and Shep, too. Austin's come in with his, like, I'm just a good guy.

I've got a girlfriend. Look, I'm committed to somebody, but she's just never here. It's just somebody you guys never see. And I have cats now. And so he tricks us, and Shep doesn't date anybody. So there's nobody that he's treating like shit on camera. And he's just like, but I just want everybody to have ayahuasca and be friends. You know, we're easily tricked.

Craig is the one that's, you know, getting the heat because we're, watching him actively treat people like shit. Next season it'll be Sheper, Cres, or Austin, you know. I would like to announce that, by the way,

that Corey Kiefer has Watcher Crappins and me, and I don't know, you as well, blocked. So. Oh, that's funny. We don't even post about Corey.

That's probably because we complain about him on the, you're like, I don't even post about him. You know, we're on a podcast, right? Yeah, but why would he listen to the podcast?

Because we've called out, his transphobic likes before. And he probably doesn't like that. And so I actually went to his Instagram to see if he is actually involved. Because I actually, if he has, like, if he is not doing that anymore, if he has evolved,

I don't want to be sitting here on this podcast and complaining about, you know, what he likes and doesn't like if, like, that's actually not a reflection of his current beliefs. But now I can't know. So there we go. How could you watch this episode and think for a second,

Corey Kiefer has changed anything. Corey Kweefer. What a fuck. RIP, RIP are burgeoning friendship with Cory Kiefer. Just kidding. You never had one. Gross. He's so gross. You're such a slime ball. Keep me blocked, loser. Yeah. So then Sally's like, yeah, you know, it sucks. And Charlie's like, okay, Sally, you know, I know, I know.

She was, and ever since, like, I've had resentment towards you, you know, because you did that. And it's all coming out right now. okay, you know what, you're right. It wasn't cool for me to send you those texts and then you had to go, no, she's like, it wasn't really cool. You know, I knew you liked him. I was completely selfish in my decision. I knew deep down, you know, how you were feeling and instead I chose to entertain a guy that you thought that you might actually be interested in. And I'm actually incredibly sorry. And I know there's no excuse, but like I'm really sorry and I don't know where you go. Okay, great apology, right? That's like everything and you want, you want an apology.

but it came after you dumped Craig. So it makes it like less potent, but it was still a good apology, I thought. It was a good apology. I thought it was like very much like she fell on her sword and everything. And then they do the thing of like, I love you so much.

I love you. I love you. And they wipe each other's tears. But you know, there's going to be lingering resentments and it's going to come out of the reunion. So then in the party, Craig and Austin decided to have a chat.

So Austin's like, well, Craig, looks like you have your hands full. Unlike me. I mean, I sort of have my hands full of cats, cat dad. So Craig's like, yeah, Charlie told me on the porch that she just, like, wants to be friends. So it's like a bummer because I told her we were never going to be just friends. Like, it's not a thing.

Like, I'm moving on with my life. But then Sally was really upset that she's like, you know, really, like, she's like, she's just like not, she didn't, like, know about, like, me and Charlie's relationship. But Sally made it so difficult for us to have a chance. And I constantly deal with people meddling in my business. It just gets to be a lot. Which you just did. I mean, you just ruined a friendship or tried to ruin a friendship because you didn't get your way. You're such a little bitch, Craig.

It's like, seriously. So awesome. Like, Craig. And he goes, what? And he goes, you say mean and nasty things to everyone who rub you the wrong way. Like, shit, you can't take this shit back, Craig. And he's like, whoa, do I get angry? Yes.

And I work on that with my Alexa. And I hate being reactive. But like, it's in response to people doing really. really fucked up shit to me. Yeah, that's, he's only like that because other people make him that way. I love you so much, but you make me so mad. Look what you made me do. Yeah.

Guess who else says that? Every abusive asshole in the world, Craig. Oh, oh, I went with Taylor Swift. Ooh, look what you made me do. Um, Austin is like, Charlie Dish him because of his behavior in Mexico, not because of Sally. Once again, everyone else's fault and no accountability. How many people can you scream at them and then before you actually are like, I should do some work about this?

But I will put in the work to make myself better at some point once I get up to a pro plan with chat GPT. But you're not though. But I work on myself every day. I wholeheartedly disagree with you. Craig, you aren't able to admit any fault. No, I'm not. I said I'm always wrong when I'm reactive. Okay, do you have like a serious, a problem?

Okay, you do. Do you accept that? do not. He's like, Austin, this isn't a productive conversation. Oh my God. You'll never see another person's fucking point of view. No, I will see everyone's point of view. No, you won't, Greg. You see your point of view only? Like, we don't do, like, we don't got to do this, okay? We really don't have to do this anymore, Craig. But I do see everyone's point of view because everyone's point of view is the reason that I get reactive. Everyone's point of view is the problem. That's what I'm saying. This is cyclical.

I don't even ride a bike. You don't take accountability. But I just admitted not to riding a bike. God damn it, Craig. Stop trying to make me ride a bike as dangerous. I hate helmets. My hair's important. Whatever, man.

You never fucking listen to anybody. Fuck off, Craig, dude. You'd lost. You'd lost so long as it's obvious. I'm done. I am leaving. So Craig just leaves. So Austin's now with Whitney.

And he's like, only Craig can make it seem like he's not the prick. When he's like, well, are you guys? back to square one, much like the British were after we defeated them at Sullivan's Island. Punk rock. Punk rock. Want to talk about 1776? Motherfucker. Punk.

No, we're going to square zero. He has no business in my life. So I am leaving too. I'm also leaving. So after we've seen Craig take the sad walk past the Iron Gates, now Austin's going to do it. And Jeff's like, where do you want to go? Go, where should we go? It's like, I don't know.

Any way away from here. So they decide they're going to grab a drink, and Whitney's going to go get his date. And now Sally's with Molly, and Sally's like, I just texted Austin. Is he okay? Did Charlie screw him over too? So she goes outside, and Austin's like about to leave. He's at the wrought iron gate

fence, I should say. Sally's like, Austin, can you come here? And he's like, okay, it's important. It's about cats. No, how is your conversation with Craig? Well, I feel good about not holding any more space for Craig in my life. Well, good for you. Yeah.

By the way, you looked really great tonight. By the way, my friend Carl said I should say that. You look great, by the way. And she's standing on the top of the steps, and he's, like, down the steps, like, holding onto the wrought iron fence. This is, like, their big romantic movie scene where she's like, oh, Stan. I hate Craig. I hate Craig, too. Oh, fuck Craig.

Austin. Sully. Austin. What you want, Sally? Austin. Sally, Jesus Christ, just say what you want. She's like, can you come here? I'm sorry for actually caring about you and lacking you and lack. And he goes, well, I appreciate that. And I like you too. I think you're wonderful. But I'm not in the headspace to do something with somebody like.

I understand getting out of relationship and not being emotionally available. But like, would you be interested in me if you were in the headspace? I'm not as you for. you to be in the head space. Listen, Austin, I'm not asking for head space. Just some head. What do you say? Well, Sally, I'll give you head in space, Austin. I'll hold space for your head.

But so Sally who was just crying about Craig. I mean, I know she was crying because she felt betrayed by Charlie, but I think part of that was she was crying because it was like a real deal relationship and I think she felt a certain sort of way about that so she was just crying about Craig on a certain level and now she's here like going back to Austin it's like stay Austin stay and so then she's like would you like me if you could like me which is such a crazy question such a desperate question to ask someone and she's he's like uh I don't know I can't answer that but I call bullshit because you know it's reciprocated Austin I'll do whatever I got to do I know you like me say you like me say you'll be mine. God,

Sally, get some self-respect. He's like, listen, I like you, but I'm not in a place to, like, he's basically saying, you're going to get nothing from me. She's like, oh, that's a real. Can I come with you? I'll run away with you. I'll do anything. He's like, well, there's a car here, and I'm going to

meet up with Whitney and Shep. So are you coming with me or not? She's like, yeah, I'm coming. I was like, oh my God, this is like your big romantic evening, your big romantic ending for the season. Sally is just like, yes, settling. I'm settling for being someone's fucked or I can't wait.

I can finally be the fourth wheel in this group of men. Yep, so she goes off. And then we see Sally gets the last scene of the evening. We see Sally packing up her chickens into her mom's car. And it says Sally's chicken era has ended, but has her Austin era begun? Since Carolina Day, they've been hanging out and making out. And then we see clips of them on Instagram like, when you're single and you can still drink. And then they're drinking, but like being all over each other.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Do they have a relationship? But more importantly, does anyone in America care? No. There it is. There it is. The reunion looks really good.

I particularly liked where Craig's like, you broke my heart. You strung me along. And Charlie's like, we went on two dates. Yeah. I like that part. So it looks like they're all going to come for Craig. So this is an anti-Kreg reunion, and we'll just see how it goes. But anyway, thank you all for being here.

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