Watch What Crappens - #3258 Southern Hospitality S4E02: Powerpoint Taken

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

Southern Hospitality finds Maddie so angry that she’s resorted to learning Powerpoint to get her feelings across. Brad doesn’t have that app, so he just uses old fashioned talking to make her realize that Emmy might have been distorting the truth a bit. This won’t affect Emmy though, cuz she’s super zen this season. By that I mean she’s hyperventilating by the time credits roll. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening,, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben Oonie over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good. Everybody, welcome to Southern Hospital Day. It's going to be a fun one. It's going to be a fun one. Good episode. Another good episode right in a row. Everybody, if you want this on video, you get that through our Patreon, as well as bonus episodes, free newsletter blog thing about. Bravo's last week and ad-free listening, Discord community. You get that at patreon.com slash watch what happens.

Okay. Today we are doing Southern Hospitality Season 4 episode two, Folly Follies. Folly Folley, Fully. Exciting, exciting times over at Folly Beach, in Carolinas, South Carolina there. Yeah. Fun episode. Let me think of PowerPoint differently.

Yeah. Yeah, I really appreciated. I appreciated Maddie using PowerPoint, not out of spite, but in defense of friendship, oddly enough. It's not what I was expecting. Normally people are like, I'm going to make a presentation of why you've been terrible to me, but she's like, I'm making a presentation on why we were actually really good friends. Yeah.

We also met possibly the best sponsor that we've ever seen. It's been a really good week on Bravo because last week, or maybe it was a week before, we didn't meet her, but we saw Erica's therapist on Beverly Hills, who I love. I think she's great. And now the sponsor, who I think is great. A lot of great non-fake helpers, I think. Yeah, yeah. The sponsor was a really good one. Sponsor was like that. Powerpoint, no good. Do not enter this into a court of law or a court of Bravo. And just how well she knows Maddie. She's like, were you doing the pointing thing and the waving your hands thing? And then they show her doing all the things that the sponsor is calling out. She's good. She's a keeper.

She's good. And there's just more intrigue. And I do love that the episode opens up with Maddie giving a four-year recap to get into this episode. It's all started four years ago. I was like, that's pretty cool. Like I love a show that has, like, it has lore now. You need to know the full timeline to understand how we get into the second episode of this season.

You really do. Yeah. And that's what these shows need. That's why, like, the new Vanderpump rules, okay, you know, some people are like, whatever. They need time to get mad at each other over years. Yeah. Yeah. Decade-long feuds.

I mean, the best shows do have that, like, deep undercurrent of resentment that, like, carries on from years. year to year to year. I mean, like a, like, like, it's not just like a, oh, this year we're mad at each other. It's, it's like this goes back to season one, you know, you did that thing in season one that I'll always resent. You know, that's why it's so fun sometimes to watch like the Valley and you see flashbacks throughout the years of Van derham Pump rules of, you know, terrible things that were done by someone, usually Jacks, to someone else, usually Brittany. Yeah, you need to know the fight behind the fight. Because it's, you know. It's never about the current fight. It's like real life. You're not mad at me because I left my underwear on the floor. You're mad at me because of a fight we had three years ago where you said, you know, you feel respected when I make, you know, whatever, when I make the effort to blah, blah, blah.

Sorry, I'm getting too personal. I'm like, and I'm pissed. Or like an example, Bravo people will get. Like, Kyle was not mad that Vanderpump supposedly leaked stories about Puppie Gate. She was mad because Lisa Vanderpump brought up Maricio cheating in the blogs in front of Porsche like five years before that. She was waiting to tell us. It just grew and it grew and snowballed and snowballed until Kyle finally got everybody to go against Lisa Vanderpump and finally won. So you have to know the lore guys.

And this lore is Bradley got a blowjob behind a trash can a long time ago. And it's going to keep going forever. Yeah, and now the question is, I was thinking about this. I mean, I don't think about this question a lot, but I was thinking about it last night. Did Bradley get that blowjob? Because he always denied that he got the blow job. And he said he started the, you know, he started the rumor about Maddie and her ex, you know, out of spite so that way Maddie could see what it was, what it's like to be on the receiving end of a vicious rumor. But the problem for Bradley is that he successfully lied about that for like a season and a half. So now when he says he didn't get that blowjob, unfortunately, he is the one on record who is the liar. So I kind of have to believe that he was getting that blow job now. And convincingly lying. Like we all believe that. Yeah.

So you're basically like, I'm the best liar here. So how about that? It's like, well, yeah. And of course he got the blow job at the trash can. Of course he did. Of course he did. Of course he did. What a random thing to make up.

Yeah. About someone. I go, oh, it's all been getting a blowjob the other. Well, first of all, our friends wouldn't really care. I mean, if you were like, Ronnie got a blowjob behind your trash can, they'd be like, again, Ronnie, Jesus. Use a bathroom at least. Now, I do remember, though, I mean, I think that they brought up that blowjob thing because that was in retaliation for something else. Like, I think Bradley was, like, calling out at that time, Maddie, for something with Trevor.

I just don't remember what it was. So there is that, too. I mean, Maddie could have been motivated to lie. But I think now that Bradley has, you know, it's proven that he launched a very intentional and hurtful lie against Maddie. You just have to assume that when he says he didn't get that blowjob, like he does a very good chance he could have gotten that blowjob now. He got that blow job. Yeah, I believe 100%. He got it.

And, you know, more power to him. It's not like he did. It's not like he, you know, it was with someone he shouldn't have. I mean, it was because he was dating somebody and that ruined his relationship that he got. But, you know, listen, I say blowy where you blowy, get your blowy where you can. Okay. Yeah. It's like when there's someone passing canopays, would I expect that to happen on the subway?

No, but I would take it if one was passed. It's canopy. Yeah. You're going to take it. When they go blow, you get the job. Okay. So we are starting back with the argument we ended on last week, which is Maddie freaking out on everyone, everyone after TJ's Weiner event.

It's Sir Weiner's event. And TJ's like, I think you have a hard time with the truth. And she's like, oh, honey, I get the truth. I read the truth, okay? I've got it. And he's like, oh, baby, I could ruin your fucking year if I showed you the mean shit they said about you. It's like, do it, do it, because we weren't in a good place,

but we were in a good place. So that's it. It's okay if I fuck you over it because we didn't like each other. But when you fuck over someone that you like, that's very different. we were in a good place i don't know if we've ever been a good place babe you lie and you lie hands flying everywhere well you can go fuck yourself so then joe pulls mattie back and he's like stop maddie stop

no stop it joe stop it stop it stop it back up back the fuck up back the phone that's enough mattie people are staring at us from the street then brad jumps in and he's like look i wanted to have a normal conversation with you but you started yelling and getting ridiculous because you keep on getting combative and defensive. And he's like, I wasn't. You were the one who was combative and defensive. Maddie, you're getting competitive to. And Brad's like, thank you. Thank you, Joe. Thank you. She's like, bitch. I have the right to, Joe, bitch. I have to write to. He's like, I know you do, but not here, Maddie. Not at a Sir Wiener's event. This is a very classy event. You took it where it is. Okay. We're here because you're yelling. Okay. We'll go private then.

I like that she talks about it like an Instagram account. Fine. I'm taking this private. You have to request access. Listen, this is a very classy event where we try and solely people's reputations by naming hot dogs meaning after them. Yeah. You can't get too loud at that kind of thing. So they're like, okay, we're going to go inside. And so they go. Enjoy your salmonella, everybody eating hot dogs. So they go inside, but Joe follows. And I'm like, not you, Joe. Stay back, Joe. He's like, okay, all right. Well, you're just yelling at everyone, huh? Then Molly tells us, who we all know who wears the pants in that relationship, and it's not, Joe.

Yeah, thanks for your insight, Molly. They need to duke it out for a second without the drama. Joe, shut up, you stupid bitch, Joe, shut up, Joe. Just leave, Joe. He's like, geez, okay, I'm going to stand right here behind the bar and watch you guys while I play with little drink umbrellas. So, Joe, so Brad and Maddie go talk. And Brad's like, look, I apologized, and you said it was fine after the reunion. and I thought we were dropping it, and then you keep coming back with jabs. And she goes, because you keep doubling down.

You do, though. How am I doubling down? You're doubling down saying like, oh, I said this at the reunion. When did we talk at the reunion about this? When I'm crashing out and crying? He's like, no, you said, I appreciate the accountability and the apology. Literally those words left your mouth. And then after the reunion, you immediately said that, like, let's, I want to drop this completely and move on from it.

No, that. That's the part that never happened. That never happened at the reunion. This past year we met in the hotel lobby and I saw Emmy and I saw Will and I saw the entire staff, which has nothing to do with what you're talking about. But I'm just letting you know who I saw in the lobby. He's like, but Emmy and Will didn't hang out with us after the reunion. She goes, yeah, so I went up to them and I found out you were outside our private hotel room.

And he's like, what? She goes, yeah. Well, Brad didn't check on me after the reunion, but Emmy did. And Emmy told me that Brad was stalking her outside of her hotel room. room and brides got plenty of time to check on on emmy's hotel room but none to check in on me whose life he just blew up okay so now we see what emmy's doing and he's like oh my god he's been stalking me he heard what i was saying because he was standing at my door and stalking my hotel room instead of like i was yelling and cackling so loud with will on the phone with my mother bragging about how much

we burned you at the reunion that they heard it from the elevator yeah so um so then mattie starts reading a text on her phone. And so Brad, you know, Brad's like, you know, because he shows the phone and everything, like, lower your fucking voice, you're dead to me too, because he wrote that to Emmy. And so Brad's like, I could hear through the wall. And she said, Brad and T.J. are fucking dead to me. And after sitting through the reunion stage crying, saying how she wanted to try and make a relationship with us, I texted her and said, you're dead to me too, bitch, because she said it first. So she also went after that, she also went after I texted her and said that I made her feel unsafe and that is not cool. And Maddie, like,

that's not cool. Yeah, that's not cool. It's like, yeah, it's fucked up. And so... Maddie, so this is why I love Maddie, because she gets, she's like so mad. She's like, you are wrong! And he's like, no, but here's what happens. She goes, oh, no, you're right. Yeah, that really is uncool. Wait a minute. She's saying, my mom all of a sudden.

Yeah, she like, she believes it. She knows that he's, in that moment she knows he's telling the truth. And he's like, yeah, it is fucked up. So he says, after I heard Emmie's rant screaming behind closed doors in the hotel room, I'm getting ready to go to the club. And then I get a text from someone that we work with, which you know means production.

Production. And the text says, I don't know what you said to Emmy, but she's saying that you made her feel unsafe and she's moving hotel rooms. And he's saying, you know, that's dangerous. Like, that's why I'm pissed at Emmy because you use that verbiage against a black man. You know, that can do a lot of harm. Like, not only to my reputation, but like, that could put me in jail, you know? And was I making her feel unsafe when we hung out this time? and they like show pictures or like when we were doing this and they show pictures and all the memories of them being friends.

And he's like, yeah, calling me and like unsafe and using the word stalking. Yeah. By the way, standing outside someone's even if he's eavesdropping, even if he was just standing there eavesdropping, that's not stalking. Okay. So let's not minimize people who really do have stalkers too. That's just that was definitely like a, it was definitely a very Trichel moment for Emmy. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a craft.

Happens commercial. So Brad is like, you know, I'll handle emulator because we're not good. But I do not fuck with her at all. I'm going to focus on you because I thought we were good. She's like, okay. And so what are you looking for? And by the way, they like cut to Joe Bradley and he's at the bar. And like there's like a bowl of like little mini weeners that are out.

And so he decides to eat one. And he's like, he like, he like spits it out. It's like takes it off his dog. She's like, I want to let go of this resentment, Bradley. Okay, I want to move on. You know, I'm just saying I'm her. And I want to be validated because, like, honestly, you all fucking out. You shook my world up.

Like, I'm not kidding. My reality was blown up. Like, I blew up my own relationship because I trusted you. Like, I did love him, like a lot. And we see clips of Maddie and Trevor together. And, um, this is fucked up. And I can't believe. She's like, she says, you know, I feel like,

like a piece of shit that I trusted you guys and and dumped my partner. I didn't trust my partner. And okay, I do feel really bad for her. The reason, though, that you didn't trust your partner is because he had cheated before. So yeah, he sucked. He sucked them out. It's not like Trevor was some like paragon of virtue that got caught up on all this mess. It was a believable lie because Trevor was kind of a slime bag. That also she did really love Trevor. And you see the different energy that she had with Trevor that she has with Joe. It was just a different energy. And she should call Trevor and sit down with Trevor and talk to him. I don't know if she has or not, but she should because this is going to eat her up forever. She should. But also like,

don't forget, like, yes, she threw his phone down and showed up with a shovel at his place, which was always hilarious. But she got back together with him afterwards. So what ultimately ended their relationship, I think, unless maybe it was, maybe I'm not remembering it correctly. Maybe it just was that the rumor was such a cancer that they ultimately could not get past it. But they did try to move past it because she didn't believe the girl. And so the girl, Sammy, I think her name was Sammy. So I don't know. But I do agree, though, that ultimately it's actually a really fucked up thing to do. Like, it's really, really fucked up. And the fact that they didn't like fess up to it or say, well, you know what? Honestly, we made this up because we wanted, I wanted you to see how much it hurts to, you know, have a rumor made up about you.

The fact that they actually never, like, fessed up to it, and they were never going to fess up to it, except that Emmy is the one who actually brought it out to the four is actually, like, darkly fucked up. Like, that's like you really, you mess up someone's trust and that was a relationship. So it was definitely not cool at all, even though Travis or Trevor seemed like a piece of garbage. I mean, the whole group is fucked up because they all knew about it in this group text, and nobody did anything. Joe, her current boyfriend was like, okay, well, let's get proof. Like, let's fuck it. He's in the group text. So the fact that she's dating Joe and Joe did the same thing is great.

This group was just so fucked up. And no one's even saying, sorry. Bradley is just saying like, well, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I did it because you hurt me first. It's like, what? What? You got a blow job, but how is you getting a blowjob behind a dumpster the same? So anyway, so she. she's telling him like I was hurt and he goes you know well I'm glad you're telling me okay she goes yeah I'm

hurt you know like I felt guilty for smashing his phone and we see her smashing his phone and then like pulling up with a shovel see her pulling up with the shovel and she says but you know like I was so proud of myself for like standing up to a cheater and I just feel like a fucking moron now you know so she's like I feel like I'm just like fucking hurt Brad like you used to like pretty much like live at my Like I was like one of your first fucking clients like I feel like we're so fucking tight Brad Like we'd go to parties together Brad like all this stuff Brad like I don't know how to move forward from here Brad like I want to move forward Brad he's like okay well I'm glad you're telling me that now because now I know we can do something about it well I want to let it go

obviously I just get emotional talk about my past I was like fucking 22 toxic as shit so we're so we're fucking you okay I love she's talking like she has so much perspective now I was 22 I'm not like year 10. It's year 10 of this show. Joe's like, wow, these hot dogs chase. Shut up, Joe, you stupid bitch. You shut up. So Brad's like, well, Maddie's my friend.

I don't want to see her cry. And if I knew it would have this big of a ripple effect, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. And she's like, okay, well, I appreciate you having this conversation with me so we can move forward now because I want to build that trust with you again, Brad. Okay, Brad. He's like, well, okay, let's move forward. She goes, yeah, I'm trying to like work on my dark side.

So I'm working on that He's like, okay, so let's drop it So now it's a new day TJ is taking a shower with this vacuum cleaner The Mia cutout is next to him He's like Mia, don't look, he he and then Michaels and Lake are at brunch And Lake's like, I'm tired, a little hungover

And he's like, I'm tired And she's like, but do you have fun at TJ's party And we see that they were all like skinny dipping and we hear him say, I just got a dingleberry in my mouth. So then back to the present, Michaels is like, yeah, how was your talk with Molly?

And she's like, to be honest, I like really don't remember it. And then we see a flashback that they kind of like squashed their beef drunkenly at this party. And Molly came up to her and was like, I just want to make sure that you and me are good because like I care about you

and I care about our friendship. Let me finish. Let me finish. And I would not be talking to you if I didn't care. Eric, can we say this? Finish. I'm not finished. Are we good?

Okay, I'm finished. You can talk now. Go ahead. Yeah. Drunk words are sober thoughts. So me and Molly are cool. Like, we're good. Yeah, I drank a lot.

And Michael says, oh, yeah. These team really, like, they really just have such sparkling conversation together. Yeah. So Justin, dirty Justin, ugh. Just dirty vibes from Justin. I don't like the vibes that. Justin's giving off. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure we'll see soon. Definitely dirtbag. So he's texting Jordan, the girl that he's dating from work.

And she's like, he's like, do you miss me? And she's like, I just saw you a few hours ago. And then we see that Jordan and Justin kissed. And now we see me and TJ on FaceTime. And she's like, oh, my God, my trip was fabulous. Amazing. It was dreamy. He's like, well, I have a guest me here.

Isn't that funny? You got a little beat up at my Sir Wiener's party. It was crazy. Maddie just hit you and stepped on you. Like, it was really bad. We had a huge blowout fight after the party. She said crazy-ass things. And then we just, like, pissed off, essentially.

And, like, she was, like, doing this at my event. Like, I cannot believe she was ruining a Sir Wiener's event. Mia's like, well, if you want to take a hit at the real Mia, I'm right here. We can see a whole win. Except I'm going on another trip. I probably won't join the cast again for another, I don't know, six weeks or so. You'll wait for me, right? So we go to Maddie's, and this is the scene with her sponsor, Julia.

And Julia's, like, rough and tumble. She's like, hey. Do you want a coffee? I mean, that's the AA way. She's like, yeah, I mean, fine. Coffee. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Coffee. Yeah. Put in my veins. So Maddie's like, Julia's my sponsor. You know, she's been sober 11 years, which is crazy. And she, Julia was like another young person with sobriety long term.

So boom, they're friends. So they're talking about last night. And Maddie's like, oh my God, I could cry about it. Like, you know what resentment really makes you want to drink? She goes, yeah, I know. Okay, so start from the beginning. Okay, well, I would work. And then, T.J., like, everyone was there.

And then, like, Emmy, like, who's standing next to me, she's shaking. She's scared as fuck. And, like, T.J. instantly started getting, like, really combative with me. And, like, we instantly got into it. And Julie is like, mm-hmm. So he started with you. And she goes, and we see a clip of Maddie being, you!

Like, fingers in his face and yelling in his face. And then it comes back to her. And she just has a long pause. And she goes, yeah. And then it's like, bitch, you want to raise your voice and I'm better at it. You know what I mean, Julia? You know what I mean? Julia's like, well, we know you're the best at it.

Yeah, for sure. You can definitely raise your voice. And I'm sure you're doing a lot of this, you know, with your hands, the left and right. And shut up Joe, shut up Joe. And I don't fucking understand. Brad. I mean, you know, all that stuff. She's like, yeah, I guess Joe is eating tiny hot dogs out of a bowl and you yelled at him and called him a bitch.

God, you're good. God, you're good. T.J. looked at me, it was like, we were never friends. You were never my friend. And, like, literally, like, literally, I made a PowerPoint to show we were actually friends. And she's pulled out a PowerPoint to show photographic evidence that they've hung out before. I'm like, you could just reference the footage. Like, we get it. You were friends. She stayed up all night. But I love that you did PowerPoint. I love that she stayed up all night to make a PowerPoint. And Julie is like, oh, wow. Yeah, you said, you were never friends? Okay. Well, then why are we outside of Republic? Or why are you there? when I'm DJing. Or us at Universal. Us at Universal. It's crazy.

He couldn't make the magic thing happen in front of that window, which was really weird, but I was still his friend. Yeah, they call it limited magic. So Maddie is like, and look, here's me sleeping at his house. Look, and here's me,

like, here we are at Starbucks. Julia's like, you know what? I think I get the point. You can move forward here. Yeah, TJ was saying that we were never friends. That was just another gas, a lot of experience from him. So, yeah, oh, here's us in Tampa.

Yeah, do you have non-friends that you go to Tampa with? I don't think so. This is us in Springfield, Massachusetts. We were driving by the Basketball Hall of Fame. That was hilarious. He wanted to listen to Kelly Clarkson on the radio. I was like, no, got to listen to my new mix. We have so much friendship.

So Julia's like, okay, can we just like, can we go forward? Did you send this to him? No, should I? No, don't, don't send that to them. Yeah, don't send that. It's like, well, you know, do you know, do you know, You know what? I picked TJ up from jail, okay? Three years ago, that motherfucker was rotting in jail with a DUI.

And I was his first phone call. And his first thought was like, who's up and who would be sober? So, like, I should have just let him rot in jail. And then we see a picture of TJ in jail, like, hey, looking good. And then it says, not charged under it. So Julia then says, so you came home last night after the fight and went up to your room and made a PowerPoint presentation? Yes. It's like DJing, but with photos.

Okay. I was fucking pissed because it's hard not to look at them in the eyes and think about all the fucked up shit that they said and then imagine what would happen if that was in slide form. Like, I'm not calculated about this shit, okay? Like, I don't think about shit all the time, but like it happens. She goes, yeah, but this is incredibly calculated, okay? Because you stayed up all night making a PowerPoint, okay?

Did you even know how to use PowerPoint? No, but you know, I have the internet and I learned. I'm really good at PowerPoint. now. Okay. Yeah, it looks like you're spending a lot of energy on these people. She goes, yeah, but you know what? I did this shit last night. Like the shit they did with Trevor, that was calculated. Because that was two and a half fucking years they worked on that. I mean, they blew up a relationship with someone I thought was my soulmate. Like sometimes it does bleed into my relationship with Joe sometimes, you know? Like I can't even tell like Joe, shut up, you stupid bitch without even

like feeling like a little guilty. Like should I be saying like, shut up Trevor, you stupid bitch? You know what I mean? Like sometimes I just like show up at Joe's place with a shovel and I don't even know why I do that. Things just bleed in, you know? I just broke Joe's phone the other day. I don't even know why. When I'm like, I feel like sometimes I'm like scared to move forward Joe and I'm like scared to like move in and marry him or whatever. It's because like I've struggled trusting people around me.

It's like I feel like I'm like a fucking idiot. Like I'm like Trevor did not deserve that shit. I'm like, Trevor probably did on some level. Let's be honest. So Julia's like, I think the most important thing. is you trying to figure out what is the end result that you want. Will you be giving a corporate presentation with this PowerPoint? Because if not, you should probably delete it.

And she says that she talked to Brad and he's willing to build trust. But TJ was not resolutional at all. And Julie is like, well, just open the door and say like, look, what happened last night, can't happen again. I won't allow it. And if it starts to happen again, I'm from the PowerPoint. And she's like, no, not don't. Don't show the PowerPoint. Okay. So don't, so just don't, I shouldn't bring my laptop just in case he has to see it. Like, what if he's like, God, I could really use a PowerPoint right now? What if he says something like that? Can I show my PowerPoint then? No. No, don't show it. So we're now at Justin's and T.J's, I'm sorry, Justin's place and T.J. is visiting. And T.J.'s like, oh, you got a candle. That's nice. No one got me a candle. And Justin's like, yeah, you know, everything here is essentially for the female game. because I want women to come over and say, you know what, this guy seems to have his shit together.

I might want to have sex with him. Oh, my God. That's so cool. Wow. And then there's like undies nearby. It's like ladies undies like under a couch or something. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, man, just trying to squeeze the happiness out of life.

I'll bet you are. I'll be just squeezing every drop of that happiness out multiple times a day, sir. And T.J.'s like, well, I brought a wine opener because I don't think you have one. And he's like, wow. I have one. You know why? Because it appeals to the female gays. Yeah. Yeah. So he says, my last relationship, you know, I moved to Australia with her and was head over heels for this person. Like, that was the first time of my life. I really felt passion. I felt love during sex, not just like empty ejaculation. But sometimes you get too freaky and it ruins the relationship.

And the producer's like, what does that mean? Well, there was a little threesome that went wrong. So we can all imagine what happened there. So he says, he's like, yeah, I've been having too many sleepovers. Jordan's been staying over every single night, man. You know, it's obvious fun to go out and have a one-night stand, you know, clap cheeks. But I'm always, you know, chasing, you know, that passion and that intimacy. Like, oh, sure. I fully believe that.

That's why you are outfitting your apartment for the female gays. That way any woman who comes over will have sex with you. But yes, for sure, you're on the journey for passion and intimacy. And it's just a guy who's used to people. with such low standards that he's like, yeah, outfitted for the female gaze, a candle and a wine opener. Oh, yeah. Get some every time. Get those ladies every time. Well, um, you know what? We need to get you a body pillow. I got you a gift, though. I got you a gift. No, you didn't. Yeah, you have to close your eyes. Uh, okay. Should I close my eyes and open my mouth? Yeah. You could if you want.

He's like, yeah, I'm going to pass on. Okay, put your hand out. So he puts, a giant glass dick with gigantic balls into Justin's hands. And he's like, oh my God, what is this? And he's like, it's a decanter. It's a dick canter. It's a penis-shaped vessel for alcoholic beverages.

I really hated this thing because I didn't like its design. In order to pour the wine into the decanter, you had to like pour it through like the tip of the dick and had the tiny little slot. So they had to like pour very carefully. That doesn't seem useful. And then on top of that one, they had to pour the wine out of the decanter into the glass,

they had to rotate it to an almost unnatural angle. So, yes, it's funny that it's a dick and balls. But next time, make it a dick and balls that makes sense for what you're doing. Thank you. It's poor industrial design. It really is. Yeah. It's like, 100%.

The dick is like bent. It's curled under, which is weird, first of all, for a dick that's supposed to be hard. It's like curled under, like fish hooked. So, and the balls are huge. so they're too far. So when you pour, yeah, you're right. You have to go like turn the dick all the way. Around the balls.

It has to like go around the perimeter of the balls just to get to the shaft. Oh, no, actually you could pour the, yeah, because like, because the dick is going in that direction. So it has to like go around and then down. It's like they didn't test it out. That's my problem. You have to use it. Yeah. I mean, you would think they would if you're going to mass produce this giant cock thing.

You'd think you wouldn't test it. but they didn't. Okay. This town needs more cocktesting, is what I'm saying. So Justin's like, what should I poured in over the white carpet? Oh, God. Oh, look at this precision.

Did I spill it? I'm still locked in. This is what I feel like when I'm shaving my balls. I didn't know you shaved your balls. I'm shocked. He's like, well, how do I explain myself to women that come over? I'm already fighting gay accusations left and right. Jordan accused me of being gay.

Well, I mean, because she saw you kiss Michaels and I in front of her. Oh, yeah. one of these guys. One of these guys desperate for attention, so he's going to go make out with gay guys to get a little attention and then pretend like they're crazy if they like him. And he's like, yeah, that probably didn't help. So one night we're drinking and we're having some fun and next thing I know, like I turn around and Justin's making up with Michaels.

And then he turns around and starts making out with me. Is Justin a good kisser? Justin is an excellent kisser. So Justin is like saying that he took a good. you know, what's her face home, so whatever. And he tells us, I mean, I've exclusively dated women, but I think I'm 30% gay, depending on how many tequila sodas I have in me.

So fast forward, 12 weeks from now to the reunion. All right, Justin, what percentage gay would you say you are? Have you ever expanded management with a man? Have you ever had sex with a man? Have you ever had a kiss of the man? Okay, we're going to commercial, and we're back. More questions about how gay is Justin. Tell us more about your sex life, Justin.

You know this is going to take up a full on. segment of the Southern Hospitality reunion. What did you think of the deck decanter that you got? Do you use it? Do you ever look the tip? Show me you using it. Show me, show me you warming up the decanter.

And then Justin tells us, I remember watching Twilight back in the day, looking at Robert Pattinson and thinking, that's a guy I could get behind. Shout out tops. So who knows? But no one's 100% straight. I'm like, you are queer bathing right now.

Yeah, I could feel, You are 100% straight. You're just a straight guy. I hope. I hope. I hope for our sake that you're 100% straight. So Mia's coming back today and Justin's like, yeah, I had a question on Mia. And then she's like, I'm going to Hawaii.

So I hope he proposes a story of my life, right? Then I probably fuck some guy up the ass. I'm not going to tell you if that's true or not. Just let you wonder. Yeah, first of my really, I met Mia was in Vegas and kind of sense a certain tension. I could, I don't know, I could be overthinking that there. So, Mia's like, I thought he was gay. I thought T.J. brought him as a romantic interest, and him and T.J. were just sharing a room.

So you tell me, am I right? So Justin's like, you know, but now they're just pouring more of the wine out. They're joking about tickling the balls to get it out and everything and, you know, whatever. So now we go over. Tickle the balls, you'll get a heavier pour. We go over to Republic and Lake and Maddie say hello. And Michael's like, how are you feeling after the pony? Like, say, oh my God.

my mind was like racing. Like honestly, I feel like I, like, stood my ground on how I've been feeling the past couple of months. And we've never had a conversation about what happened. And just like, wow. Hey, everybody. It's me, Brad. And they're like, oh, oh, well, I'm in a much better headspace after talking to my sponsor.

But I still have all these unresolved issues with CJ and Mia. So, like, they were also in the group chat. And they were trying to sabotage my relationship. But they haven't tried to talk about me or, like, try to make amends like Brad did. Um, already is everyone ready? Happy Thursday, everyone. Brad, can you stop farting in the fridge, please? Thank you. Another beautiful night at Republic. Are we all excited, everyone? Can we get excited? Hello. Hello. Anyone excited? Okay, everybody. Get the four set up. It's time to, like, set up the floor. So, I guess just like everybody go there and like set up the floor. So they do. And they're talking about like, they're going to be so busy tonight. And Justin goes up to Jordan. He's like, what time you work until? She's like, probably 3.30. You guess maybe I'm maybe. I'll wait up. She's like,

ah, okay. Brad's like me and Julia. So Brad comes up and he's like, me and Julia are going to have this house in folly for our year to do, like a little staycation. So I was thinking we could have like a party, you know,

like, you know, a bonding type thing. You know, like me, we'll have everyone there for our one year anniversary. Mia, T.J.

Everyone, every single person in this place. And he's like telling Maddie this right in front of Emmy. And I'm, me it's like putting together the sign furiously like so brad's like yeah you know and we can sit down and talk and you know it's like I like that when we were able to talk you know we made better progress right um so let's do this and he and he tells us you know mattie's really good he'll matty will take a beef to the graves the fact that i was able to like settle things with her was

really good so hopefully there's hope for her with tj and mea so he's like okay so in the spirit of progression uh come out you know just hear each other out And Maddie's like, okay, yeah, I want to move forward and I appreciate you inviting me, okay? So they hug and Emmy's just watching. It's like, what about me? I mean, what about everything Brad's done to me for like the past few months? Like, all that bullshit he put me through, all that shit you did at the reunion at the hotel? Like, yeah, I'm kind of hoping for a fucking apology.

All that stalking, I couldn't even leave my hotel room, okay? Because he was out there breathing into the peephole. It was awful. So then we see Emmy leaving. and she was like, fuck it, but I want. So Julia walks in. That's Brad's girlfriend. She's like, hi.

And Joe's like, hey, Brad just invited us to the anniversary party. That seems pretty good. Why do I keep eating these hot dogs? Discussing. So Joe's like, yeah. So Emmy's like, I wasn't invited. Not invited at all. So Joe's like, really?

You weren't invited? Yeah. And ask me, who set them up? Who set them up? It was me. Because she's out by the setup of that joke. God. Yeah, I'd like talk to him up so much to Julia.

Yeah, but then how come you're not invited to their anniversary party? Joe, keep up, Joe. I mean, he's like, whatever. I'll have the party when they break up. But honestly, like, I thought Brad would have cheated on her by now. Burn. I mean, you're talking, like, you've been cheated on nine million times. Babe.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's not a burn from you. Brad, this entire time was just trying to warn you that, has been cheating. Okay. So, um, uh, Michael's like, okay, um, has anyone seen Joe? Where's Joe? Okay, I mean, go look for him. He's supposed to be out here, like, leading by example and training you, Justin. Oh my God. I feel like recently at work, Joe will show up, but like, showing up is like the bare minimum. So the search for Joe continues. Okay. So that's that. So Michael's is like, I feel like recently at work, like Joe shows up, but like he does the bare minimum.

Could you go outside for me and train Justin John? Joe's the lead VIP's host, and that means you lead and you train. And when you don't do that, it kind of like shows the other host that you don't like really care about your job. So Joe's like, oh, yeah, sure. So he goes out to Justin's like, I mean, I feel like he kind of got the seating chart down. So like, I don't really know what I've got to be here for. Yeah, proof that he cares about his job, okay? Justin knows the seating chart.

If he didn't, then you would have a point. Yeah, Joe's just kind of like, whatever. He's like, I'm bored. I've been crushing on the front door for five years. Like, I can do it in my sleep. Like, I want to own my own bar. I feel like Leva gave T.J. This incredible opportunity to grow his business.

But what about me? Joe, what's your business? Yeah. What is it? TJ came up with Wieners, Joe. What did you come up with? You haven't come up with anything. What are they just handing out Wiener businesses?

No, he made that weiner business happen. Yeah, also did you not watch Vanderpump rules and see the calamitous path that was Tom and Tom going to business and opening up one and then a second bar? It's not for the faint apart. So like, do what TJ did, which is find an ancillary thing, though. Yeah, he doesn't even want to do that. Yeah, he wants to find something that. He just wants Leva to give him something. That's not how it works, Joe.

Okay, Leva will profit off of any idea that you have, but she's not going to come up with. an idea for you to profit off of, you dumb, dumb. And if you want to start a business, start a bumpet business. Are you wearing one? Start one of those. I'd buy a bump it from you. At least Johnny Weir would purchase from you. Yeah, seriously, they have the same haircut.

So we see a flashback of when Leva, like at the Seruiner event, when, like, Leva was congratulating TJ or something. And Joe's like, hey, Leva, I'm next. She's like, huh? I'm next. What does that mean? Played beer pawn. Does that mean, Joe?

Yeah. What is that? What are you talking about? He's like, like, business-wise. And she's like, uh, so back to now. He's like, where's my opportunity? When is it my turn? When you do something, Joe, come up with something.

So Julia's asking Brad, she's like, did you invite Emmy to Folly? Because I think that you'd be like the bigger person if you invited Emmy because like, you can't be as bad as her. Invite her and have the conversation. Like, listen, it's the only chance we're going to get this episode to see Emmy have hyperventilate. Okay, just invite her. It'll just be so fun for all of us. Brad's like, you know, the unsafe comment has been weighing on me more than anything else, so it's not easy for me to deal with it.

But me and Emmy haven't talked for damn near a year at this point. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. And I kind of feel like I understand what Julia is saying, but the unsafe comment is really bad. And I don't think that Brad should be, like, pressure to have to, like, bury the hatchet. I think he should do it on his own terms. Well, he definitely, I mean, I think she's, first of all, Julia is good for TV because Julia is like, okay, I know you don't want to work this out on

private, but you need to call this lady out on camera in public at a whole party where the whole cast can get on her about it. And I think that's good advice. Well, I mean, it's a good reality show advice because anytime there's a season of two people that are like not talking to each other or avoiding each other, it like actually often ruins the show, usually get a bad season. So it will be good for this show. But like on a human level, I can understand. And if Brad is kind of like, yeah, don't really feel like going back to that place again. Yeah, yeah. You're going to do it.

Call her out for her bullshit Karen mess on national TV with the whole cast there to back you up. If you're going to do it. This is the way to do it. Mm-hmm. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now Molly, T.J. and Mia are going to have some, just going to have a catch-up, a little kiki at a place called Azur. And so they all, like, Molly's, like, sitting down, but she's, like, picking out her shorts.

And she, DJ's like, are you all right? What are you doing? You just have, like, sex adjustment or something? Oh, my God, female gangs. And she's like, I'm picking out my wedgie. God. So they say hello. And then Mia joins, like, hello, sorry, I'm on Hawaii time right now, which I'm sure they all

really wanted to hear. Like, thanks for reminding us that you went to Hawaii and we're stuck here in this humid city of khakis. Hawaii time. Aloha o'clock, am I right? I like, hi. So she was like, we had so much fun in Hawaii. And T.J. goes, does your butt hurt?

She's like, no, I don't do that like you. I don't use my butt. Have you been using your butt? So I start talking about their butt. And T.J. is like, my butt is buttoned. Is your butt hole? Is your butt hole in your butt hole? I guess that's what Mia says.

So, DJ's like, yeah. So she's like, guys, I have some news. Like, oh my God. And Molly goes, Are you pregnant? She goes, but like, Mia literally has like a shot of alcohol

like in her mouth. They just took a shot. They're like, Chews everybody. I have news. Are you pregnant? She just took a shot. Yeah, what's wrong with you?

She says, okay, guys, here's the news. Troy and I broke out. She's got a big smile on her face. And they're like, what? She goes, yeah, yeah, I know. I know.

It happened last night. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Broke. Like, oh my God, you're lying. He was so hot. I'd like to stare at him. Wait, what happened? What's going on? She's like, yeah, it's, it's over. And they're all like, you know, Molly's like, I was expecting her to come back with a ring, not single status on her hinge profile. Or excuse me, Raya, she would kill me if I said hinge. So Mia says, you know, on the last night, we were sitting down there here basically. And I was like, you know, what's the end game? And he obviously was thinking like about engagement. But I was like, no, first thing first is like coming down here to Charleston and ending the long distance. And And basically he just didn't want to come down to Charleston.

Yeah, so I get it, but it's two years. And he lived out of town. He's like, I can't move. I have a job. She's like, but why? But she's like, I also can't move because I'm on a TV show. That's in Charleston. That's so rough.

You finally find someone that hot and they can't move. I mean, both of them. Both of them found someone so hot and they can't move. What's the point even? I know. I agree. I think he should have moved because you could probably replicate whatever job you're doing in Charleston, but you can't replicate being on a TV show up in Charlotte.

Not everybody wants that damn mess. Obviously, he didn't because he skedaddled right out of there. He didn't even try. He was like, bye. And then when he was on screen, he was like a Brett type, like, which was good enough for me. That's all I really needed. But yeah, everybody doesn't need to be on TV. He's probably like, you need to, like, if you're really into this, move to be with me or is TV more important. And she's like, yeah, it is. TV is important. Have you been featuring a cardboard cut out of me? You haven't.

Bye. Aloha. Aloha. Mahalo. Mahalo, bitch. Is that how you say goodbye? I think Aloha is hello and goodbye. I thought so too.

I think Mahalo. I don't know what Mahalo is actually. Is that thank you? It was it. Okay. I'll look it up. Mahalo meaning. And Mahalo means,

thank you. It's means. Indian Hawaii used to express gratitude. Mahalo. Mahalo, Google. Mahalo, next. So then Mia's like, I cried for like three hours on the drive down, you guys.

Yeah, I cried. She's still got this smile on her face. And she's like, wow, I'm impressed that you cried. That's really hard to do when you're a sociopath. She's like, yeah, I know. And Molly says, yeah, oh my God, you've got to start something. Like, I mean, like, even his balls smell bad. Tell people that.

Like, just make yourself feel better and ruin his, reputation. And she's like, yeah, um, his balls, like, like checks mix. Didn't she say something like, she basically, well, she's like, well, the thing is this, I'm a really toxic ex. I'm going to start rumors about him that he's a small dick. I'm telling everyone he has shrimp dick. And they're like, yeah, he's got like, like, say that his balls my bad. She's like, yeah, they smell like check mix. Gross. Yeah. Um, I've never heard of checks. I'm trails. Yeah. Do balls smell like, I think balls smell like crayons. One, one guy, one time a guy was like, you know, the thing I don't like about balls, not my balls personally, but he was like, the thing I don't

like about balls is that they smell like crayons. And I was like, that's so stupid. And then over the years, I'm like, balls do kind of smell like crayons. I've never heard checks mix. I haven't heard that either, but I could see that actually. It was like they, they alternate between checks mix and trail mix. So, um, then, Tj is, yeah. I mean, checks mix, checks mix calls up a smell. Trail mix doesn't call up a smell It can have a smell It depends There's a lot of different types of trail mix out there too

Like if you have a lot of the pretzels in there If you have like a What do you like a sesame A sesame crunch thing going on So Tj is like He's like Wait wait wait Would you ever smell Justin's balls

Because he said he has a crush on you And he has a really cool new decanter I don't know who got it for him But that person is probably pretty cool I mean he was like Wait why does he have a crush on me because Justin's hot. Yeah. Did Molly tell you that like she went on a little like tequila sworee with Justin by the way. Molly, tell him about the swari. So then we see a flashback

to last week and Justin's like, yeah, Molly, I'm like an onion. Ew. First of all, gross. That means you smell. I mean, I know that's not what like I'm in, it means like peel back my layers, but it also that evokes a smell. That's like saying checks mix. That evokes a smell and it's the smell of B. But also he says, I smell the same too. So, So, like, I know you're trying to be like, I know he wasn't saying he smelled, but it makes me think of him smelling. But then he's like, no, I do smell. He goes, I smell the same too, but some girls are into that. So it works.

She goes, I prefer showers. We're in the South. Yeah, she's just grossed out by him right away. And he goes, okay, well, I got one back in my apartment. She's like, ugh. So he's like, what did you do? She goes, nothing because he's rendezvousing with my new roommate. And then we see Jordan, Bali's new roommate.

Jordan better not have taken Clarice Leachman's job That's all I gotta say No, didn't you see her She's in this episode I didn't see Cloris Yes, she was in the kitchen When maybe we already saw her

But I think she's in the kitchen At some point when Maddie and Emmy are back there Like putting something on a sign Oh, I have to go back and look I must have gotten distracted So Molly Of course she does

She's an icon So Molly says Justin's banging my roommate Then trying to bang me and now trying to bang Mia, the dude needs a little lock on his pants. He needs a chastity belt. He got mollied. So, J.J. is like...

Molly, you're really trying it with the one-liners, but they're... They're not great. They're not great. Molly's confessional one-liners need some work. By the way, Mia, I almost brought your cutout just next to me. And Mia's like, oh, my God, I know. That's hilarious. Because Manny tried to fix your head for you on it. And Molly's like, yeah, she literally was like, boom, boom.

Yeah, she stepped all over your cutout all over your cutout. Feet on the cutout. Mia's like, oh my God, I'm going to confront her about that when I go to Folly for being disrespectful to my poster. It was $200. She goes, yeah, that cost money. So they're like, let's send it to Troy. Why are you guys laughing so hard about poor Troy getting dumped? I love Troy.

Troy is so hot and he was nice. He only got dumped because of distance. That's not fair. to mock Troy. Troy, get over here. I know you're upset. Come here. Get over to my son, Ronnie's face. Come here. Get to my buzz on you little. Go on your hair. Can I have some of your hair? Can we get that implanted into my head in Turkey? Okay. Well, it's a new day at Republic. And so Joe and Leva are sitting down for a chat because Joe wants to talk about business. So he's like, I've boss in my ass for the past five years doing the same job.

And he's like, do you think you're ready, Joe? Joe, because there's a flashback leading up to Do you think you're ready to like talk to Leva about it? It's like, yeah, 100% I need to grow. And I'm sick of just like waiting for something to happen because like, fuck it. I'll just like text Leva. Like what should I say? Um, ask Chat Chitp T. Okay, chat Chbitty says, Hey, Leva, I hope this message finds you well.

I hope there are opportunities where our skills and experience could align to create something maybe a PowerPoint that shows how I'm such good friends with TJ. Wait, what are you talking about? Sorry, I kind of use it for my own purposes. It could be something adva, adva, how do you say this, Advo Cici's? Advogidju's advantageous. Advantages. Do you want me to adder on LinkedIn too?

Like, come on. I'm just going to say, hey, Leva, can we meet? And so they meet. So he comes in and Leva's like, how you been, Joe? And he's like, I've been great. You know, I'm so grateful to work here. I'm like, not going anywhere. I'm like Team Republic until the day.

I die. She's like, yeah, yeah, we know. But by the way, what didn't Joe already get a promotion? And then didn't he already lose that promotion in season two? I think at the end of season one, he like really wanted to step it up and be like a manager. And then season two, he had been demoted back down to door guy, right? Or maybe that was going on from season two. That was, am I crazy? I think that was, did Joan get a, I remember Emmy did. Remember they made Emmy a manager and then they made her a manager at another place? And she's like,

yeah, I'm a republic girl. I'm not a boots and bobbles girl or whatever the fuck that restaurant is. So, but yeah, maybe they did with Joe, but I think Joe's always been a BIP host. Basically, a lot of these people go up and down because I think Emmy, yeah, Emmy was a manager, but now she's back down to being Normie. It's hard to, it's hard to track. It's a very complicated system they have going on over there. So I'd love it's like, how you been, Joe? He's like, I've been great. Like, you know, I'm so grateful to work here and like, I'm not going anywhere. Like I said, I'm just going to repeat myself. Yes, we know, Joe, but also, like, I'm turning 30 in August, and I have to do what's best for me. And I want to grow professionally. And, like,

like I have dreams. Uh-huh. You know, like in my mind, like I've got mine dreams, dreams in my mind. Like these dreams go on when I close my eyes. You know what I'm saying? One of them. Yeah. One of them is like these monkeys, like, they're on tricycles and they're like going around in a circle. And people are like, monkeys drive tricycles. And I'm like, I don't doubt it because it's a dream. And you don't doubt stuff in dreams. Joe, could you get to the point? I would like to build my dream concept with my mentors. My concept was, was an upside down piano because it was a dream. But I know that like I can't I cannot only be an employee like but I could be a business partner.

She's like, okay. Well, Joe, it doesn't really work that way. It's like I can't like go to my employer and be like, hey, I just want growth and I want this. But then at the same time, I'm like not showing up to work and you've just been slacking. And he's just like don't. His big eye. He just like blinks his eyes.

He's like, oh, well, I see growth. Like, how could you talk to me like that? Leva's like, every time I'm around Joe, I almost feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I'm like, we had this conversation a year ago and like a year ago where Leva was like, hey, if you want to grow with this business, you have to be showing up at work. You can't just like go on the road with Maddie on her DJ tour. Yeah. And did he do that?

No. Like he went on tour with Maddie. So like, I cannot stop my business because you want to follow your girlfriend around the country. So you left with Maddie. And he's like, yeah, but like, she's suffering from. anxiety and she's like I need you with me and it's not like disrespectful thing you know like i just chose to be by baddie's side and i missed some shifts so what she's like um yeah but like you're sacrificing stuff jo and you know you're like in a really good position that could have

moved up and you just stopped coming to work and you were like hey whatever i book tables online like i fucked up i fucked up joe i stopped showing up but then i came back to work and i work my ass off And I feel like I'm back at square one. And like, it's not motivating for me. Like, you have to motivate me. So that way I could be a better worker. So that way you can go into business with me. You have to motivate me to give me a business.

You understand? Hello. It's called a paycheck, Joe. The motivation is for you to get the business, not for her to give you motivations. That way you show up. That way then she can give you the business. Oh, Joe. Come on, buddy.

Joe, Joe, Joe. It's like, yeah, I just don't understand it. You know, like, I don't know if this is arrogant to say, but like, you need to feel that respect, like, reciprocated. Like, I came back to work a week ago, and I've been, like, doing good. Joe, you've been back one week. Are you acting? Like, I came back full force. Love was like, is Joe out of his mind? Yeah, because everyone's like, when are they going to give you a place? She goes, well, anyone who thinks we're giving anybody anything or not, we're building something with somebody. That's reliable. Okay? Like, you're not reliable.

Does he just think I'm going She goes Does he think I'm just going to hand out businesses Like Oprah hands out cars? I mean, sure. At one point, Joe was valuable to us. It was always the plan with Lamar and I to have Joe run one of our businesses

And have equity in one of them But like he basically gave us a big fuck you And Joe's like, but like Can you give me a business though? He literally saying like Can you give me just can you come up with something And give it to me? He's just saying every wrong thing in this meeting.

like, yeah, but that hurts my feelings. Nobody cares, Joe. You're not showing up to work. It's not about your feelings and it's not about your girlfriend's anxiety. Like, that's crazy. I cannot imagine going into work. And I'm being like, you fucked up. And me being like, but Bueller's got anxiety.

So sorry. I feel like I'm nervous. I've been the face of your company. I've been the pompador of your company. And when I'm here, I'm incredible. It's, I'm hard to replace. It's like when I'm here, right? Yeah.

You know, Love is like, I'm the face of my company. Yeah. She's like, I literally have a TV show about my company, you dumbass. And she goes, Joe, you have been replaced, okay? This business doesn't wait for you. You think this bar rots itself? No, there are so many people working to not clean the floors properly in this bar so that it smells like a barn.

Do you understand? That doesn't just happen without hard work, Joe. You've been replaced. His name is Justin, okay? He's down there. showing girls that he's taking home matches because he wants the female gays. That is someone making an effort, Joe. Okay?

Joe, you think you're the only person who can point at a man wearing khaki shorts from Tommy to Bahama and say, you, get in here. Uh-uh, no. You think you're the only one who can spot a lady in Talbitts and find a table for her? No, many people can do that, Joe. But the thing that hurts the most is, like, loyally. Because to say, like, I'm replaceable, like, that hurts. That hurts.

It's like making a movie. And Brad Pitt doesn't show. up to work like you're not going to replace brad pitt has been replaced it was called the departed sir he will be replaced actually that will literally happen if brad pitt does not show up to a movie shoot they will fire him even brad pitt yes they would like brad pitt was going to be the departed i didn't know yeah i looked it up i said what are some movies that brad pitt was replaced in and that was one and then he was replaced by Russell Crow in another one. Gladiator maybe? No,

it wasn't Gladiator. It was like state of play. State of play. Oh, that's such a deep cut. I remember. Wow. State of play. That was like just prior to Gladiator, right? Say what you want about me, but I do my research. Wow. State of play. I'm a professional.

State of not play, am I right? Because he got fired. Oh my God. It feels so good. to finally, oh, that was from 2009, really? Geez. Okay, well, Joe is being so stupid right here, and it's hilarious, and I'm cracking up, and I'm loving how Lava is just like, like, what is wrong with you? And so, Leva's like, would you be able to work for the next eight months, the next year,

do Thursday, Friday, Saturday while Maddie's on tour? A hundred percent, I will go on tour with Maddie and check in on a Friday afternoon via email. A hundred percent. 100% I will book tables Thursday, Friday and Saturday online. So, yes. She's like, I'd love for you to prove me wrong, but like right now, I don't even know if you will. Oh, really? Then why am I in Ocean's 11?

You're not Brad Pitt. Joe. Last time I checked, I'm going to the Oscars because I was nominated in F1, Best Picture of the Year. And guess who won? F1. Guess what? And F is me. Joe, you're not even making any sense anymore.

I'm going to show you a clip from F1 and prove to you that I was, that's an empty car, Joe. There's no one in the car seat. Maddie had a gig. So, like, sorry, she had anxiety. Joe, your race car is just sitting on the track. Everyone's going by you. Yeah, I couldn't race today because Maddie was performing at Wesleyan. So now we're at Folly Beach, 20 minutes away from Charleston.

I like that they're like 20 minutes away from Charleston. Okay, could you show me the traffic on the way there? so I know how long it's going to take me. Are there any alternate routes? What the fuck do I care where it is? What is this MapQuest? I know. Quest.

You like my MapQuest reference? What is this? What is this? What do you want me to look up? AOL maps? Well, you want me to look up on Yahoo? This location? Listen here.

I'm going to get there. I'm going to find out how busy it is on MSN traffic. Okay. Well, give me a moment to search up this beach on Bing, and I'll get right back to you. 20 minutes away from Charleston. Okay, so Graham and Maslin of Calabria's catering is there. I'm glad. Welcome, guys.

So Julia comes in and Brad's area. He's like, oh, my God, I don't even want to kiss you. He looks so good. Yeah. So then he's saying he's so happy. It's like the first time he's been in a relationship where there's a future. It's going to be super special. And they're using his client's house, and it's really nice.

They got a private chef, and he got her a manny and a petty and a new drip. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All the nice things. Yeah. All the beautiful sex. And it's your frozen. He's like, oh, my God, is it an Amex?

Mm-hmm. What? Oh, no, you were frozen for a moment there, but it looks like a power through. You're back now. So, yeah, they're getting... Botox, darling. I'm supposed to look this way. Oh, beautiful.

And can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Can you see me? Can you see? Are you throwing her voice into the microphone? Yeah, I was freezing. So what were you mentioning that they were saying at this house? Yeah, she gets him a gift and it's a card.

And he's like, oh, my God, is she getting me an Amex? And it's not. It's like a gold card and it's got his father's handwriting on it. And it's really lovely. Yeah, it is. What a good gift. I know. Like, that's kind of like an amazing gift.

I don't know how she even thought about that. I don't know that was, that existed. So, um, it's a nice moment. And he's really touched by it. And he was just happy that they could do something, um, before everyone gets here. And, um, you know, we did find out that, um, he does, he did invite Emmy. And we see a flashback. And he's like, well, I invited everyone else out to Folly.

And I wanted to extend an invite to you as well. And I don't want you to think that's going to be some kind of ambush. So I do want to talk. talk to you and then we'll ambush you. Okay, is that sound good to you? She's like, um, I will definitely be there. I will make all the bands and put out of shark would reach a tray. Yes. So he's like, you know, if everyone else is going to be solving their issues, you know, there's going to be a massive elephant in the room if I don't invite Emmy. So, you know, Julia made me see it that way. So I'm going to do it. And Julie is like, yeah,

that unsafe comment, that's stuck with me. And I think it's time for anybody to say sorry. So let's do it. And she said, he says, well, I think she wants. an apology for me. And she's like, absolutely not. Okay. Tomorrow will no longer be our one year if you apologize to Emmy. So now everyone has time to go out to Folly. Okay. Let's get the Folly time. Everyone's getting the car. T.J. gets to go in the front seat because he's hung over and Michael's holds up a banana and pretends to hold up Justin. He's like, put your hands up.

Just like, oh my God, feel like it is. So they're driving off. There's another car with Maddie Lake. and Joe and Emmy's like, like, oh, my, my God, I forgot my good camera. But that's because I don't think about taking pictures when I'm going to war. And it's like, yeah, I don't love that he waited until last minute to invite me, but like I'm not going to like being the person he says no. When someone gives me an invitation, I mean, that being said, like being in a social setting with these people, like, yeah, I'm on edge. I'm on edge. I'm on edge.

We know. Yeah. We know, I mean, you're resting. You're always on edge. Crack head. So Emmy is like an adorable lizard. She doesn't look like a lizard, but the way lizards are always like, oh my God. Like lizards always have that vibe.

I'm like, yes. Yeah. And then they just scamper away. That's what I'm here in Texas. I know it's, I know that spring is coming because I open the door to go outside and there's always a lizard that's been sitting there or something that I haven't seen. It's like, I'm going to work. It's like, wah! Every time you open the front door.

No, no, what the hell? Why are you sitting on the front door stab? You know this is going to happen. So people arrive. We see a succession of people arriving at the table. At the house, Grace Lilly shows up, both cars show up. And Mia is there and everything. And Mia's like hugs Justin, and he's asking how why it was.

There's just a lot of sort of patter as more and more people. people arrive. And Emmy's saying, I won't let these people get under my skin. Joe, go and it's raining. Come on. I'm going to. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to war. Go to war. So, Mia, so Maddie comes over. She sees me and she goes, oh my God, hi, Mia. And she hugs her. And he's like, okay, so you're not going to step on me today? And Maddie's just like, ugh. Oh. Meas like, I missed the first episode, so I'm going to have a cardboard fight. Yeah, it's like, how dare you assault my cardboard cutout? I mean, for real, what the But TJ paid a lot of money for that fucking cut out to represent me and his thing, his

Wiener thing. And that, you doing that was really disrespectful. It was disrespectful to me. It was disrespectful to T.J. It was disrespectful to Wieners. It was respectful. Disrespectful to FedEx. It was disrespectful to slash kinkos.

So me as like, I was on the fucking beach chilling. And then they're like, Maddie just, they say that Maddie just like, push her down and stepped all over it. I mean, that's disrespectful where I come from everyone. knows. Step on me, that's a problem. Step on my standee. That's an even bigger problem. And she's like, whatever. It like probably costs like $3. Like, come the fuck down. Which I know that if we're the other way around, Maddie would be losing her mind too because of last year when she and Joe put together a bouquet and then it flew off into the sky. And she's like, Joe, that was like $45. Joe.

It wasn't $3. It was $200. And I also had to get another $200 one. made of my boyfriend so that my other cardboard cutout could make out, could break up with the cardboard cutout of my boyfriend. And unfortunately, I had to dump a guy with a footprint on my face. Maddie. Wow. Okay. Like, whatever. Like, it's okay. Like, it's fine. Like, she's like, you know, like, just don't be pushing down posters with me and walking over me. That means something to me. She goes, girl, it's a cardboard cutouts. I didn't actually punch you in the face. Just don't resort to that. Don't play like that. But I just feel like I was really hurt about

you and TJ and Brad knowing all that stuff and never telling me. She was, I wasn't even in the group chat, Maddie. I was not in the group chat. She was, uh-huh, you were. Emmy showed it to me. She's like, I was not in the group chat, manny. Okay, I swear to God. I swear on my mother, I don't even know. Like, and she was, yes, you were, you were liking things. You were in the chat about the Trevor and the Sammy shit. She's like, no, I wasn't. The first time I heard about that was the same year that you heard about at the reunion. I mean, please let it go. I mean, I cannot believe. I swear on everything. I know. And then it shows her in the confessional. And she's looking at her phone. She goes, yeah, I'm, I'm in the group chat. I am. Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember this. I'm sure I didn't say anything. And she's looking through it. She's like, oh, yeah, I did like that. Oh, yeah. L-O-L. Yeah, I don't remember this. I don't remember it. But if I did, I probably would have liked it at the time. So how do you not remember it? How do you not remember being in a group chat where everybody's talking about getting on camera?

that Maddie's boyfriend cheated on her when she didn't. Here's how. Because, like, I have been added into random group chats that are really annoying, and I just don't pay any attention to them, and they just go and go and go. And then once in a while, I'll, like, open it up, and I'll just sort of see the latest comments. I'm like, huh. And I'll, like, like, like, like, the comments to be, like, a good participant. And then I go back to ignoring it.

So I 100% know how she was in a group chat. I was not paying attention whatsoever. I've been there. Yeah. That's a pretty big one, though. So she's like, yeah, you know, I was just hurt, okay? So, and, you know, like, then you're going to be their henchmen, and it's hard not to put you in that box.

And she's like, henchmen, girl. Yeah, because, like, TJ and Brad, they're your friends, and you defend them instead of the women. She's like, oh. And Brad's like, would anyone like gift bags? And she's like, I am team woman. How dare you, Maddie? Okay, but we have gift bags over here.

Maddie's like, that's what I thought. Because then when Emmy showed me, your name was on there. And I was like, oh my God, women, supporting women, where did that go? I'm telling you, I wasn't on it. I would not lie to you. Okay, one thing I don't do is that, which is funny because the group text, if you were a participant of the group text, that meant that you were actively lying toward the whole time. So, like, it would actually be very conceivable that you would lie about being in the group text

because the group text in itself was about perpetuating a lie. But in this case, it seems like she had genuinely somehow forgotten. And she's like, I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done that. So then she realizes that she was in this group text. And she's like, oh, so funny, because the way she realizes they make it look like, because Emmy goes, um, Mia's in the group chat. Okay.

Like, she totally is in the group chat. I mean, I literally still have the group chat. And they make it look like Emmy texts Mia from the group chat because Mia's phone dings. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm in the group chat. Yeah. So Maddie, they decide basically to squash it. And she's, and Maddie's like, well, I'm sorry at the Sir Wiener's party that it felt like I had a lot of PTSD and like a lot of old feelings came up.

And I'm sorry that I stopped. stomped on your face. My cardboard face. Yes, your cardboard face, which is the same as my real face. Well, that's kind of what I just said. But, like, you have to honor the cardboard, but also acknowledge it's my face. You stepped on. You stepped on my face.

You're stepping on it right now. Don't abuse my cardboard. Okay. I was like a voodoo doll. I felt hit when I was in Hawaii. I was like, ow. So, Brad is like, Aloha. Are we better?

Oh, look at your goody bag. I'm really just trying to push the goody bag thing. Look, guys. I'm grown up. I made goody bags. I mean, it's like, yeah, we see. squashed it. And can that be the theme of the night tonight, squashing it? Because that'd be really nice. Yeah, squash that beef. Squash that beef. Squash that beef. I love Maddie doing Bravo con a chance.

So then 30 minutes later, cut to Brad and Emmy, Brad confronting Emmy and saying, why did you say that I made you feel unsafe? She goes, I was scared. I was scared. I was scared. I was scared. You are scared of Bradley Carter. I was scared. And Emmy just like having a classic hyperventilating meltdown in the middle of folly. freaking out, hyperventilating, and of course, leaving. And she goes outside and she's like, I feel unsafe. It's like, oh, shut, Emmy, girl.

Classic Emmy. Classic. Well, what a show. What a show. Episode two. Killing it. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here.

We will be back tomorrow with Real Housewives of Beverly Hoosies and the Ladies of London. Talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way.

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