Watch What Crappens - #3261 Ladies of London S4E03: DeWine Truths

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

Ladies of London heads to a vineyard to get to know each other better, but the vulnerability almost chokes someone and it’s not going to end well. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, Don Cassane, darling, don't Crosan. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Welcome to Watchwood Crappins, everybody. It is Ladies of London Day. It's a Friday, season four, episode three. We're so excited to be here. If you want this on video or you want bonus episodes or you want Discord server or you want to just talk to us or you just want a hug. Go to patreon.com slash watch what crappins.

You can also sign up there for a very first. free blog post that goes up every week, recapping the week in Bravo in a very fun, delightful way. We'll be at South by Southwest this week, so hopefully we'll have a bonus or something about that next week for you. In the meantime, Ben, how are you? Well, I couldn't be any better because it's Ladies at London Day. I'm so excited for that. Also, by the way, it's the last time you're going to hear us talk about this, the very last time, the very, very last time. Kizwee get your replay of the crappies.

Today is the last day. That's why. So watch it tonight. Spend your Friday night watching it because after tonight you will never be able to watch it again. It's gone, dead buried. But that's also the last time. Go check out the list of winners over on our Instagram. Yeah.

Yeah, but I am great. They're like, release a winners. We never release a list of the winners. Why don't we do that? We should have like a whole archive of the winners and we should be sending them awards and stuff. I mean, what the hell? We are incompetent. We'll pick up out.

Let's talk about how a good Ladies of London is. Third episode, it's just, it's so good. Even an episode like this, which was like a heavier, quote unquote, heavier episode, like the fact that there's still so much acid in this show that just cuts right through it is so amazing. I'm absolutely loving this reboot. And it seems like everyone else is. It's like everyone's talking about it. You know, I was a little worried.

at first during this episode, because there is a lot of kind of slowness, and we really do see that the people don't know each other that well. I mean, they know each other in separate clumps, but we see like, oh, they really don't know each other. They have to have these getting together, you know, getting together to get to know each other. And I thought, uh-oh, danger. Maybe the first two were just a fluke, but then it just got really, really good. And it is extremely dark. And so the stuff we have to talk about gets really dark. And I mean, what are we going to do? I'm just going to go out of it as the show does and just laugh anyway because what are you going to do?

I mean, yeah, honestly. Yeah. But ultimately good. And my new hero, I, of course, love Martha. I think everybody loves Martha. Kimmy is just my sociopath queen. I love Kimmy. And I thought her whole reaction was so me in those situations.

Just like, oh, fuck, I have to listen to your. Now everybody has to tell a dead family member story. I mean, it's very me. And I love that she doesn't give a fuck. She's just by the end of the episode and the previews for next week, she does not care if you don't like her. She does not care if you disagree. And whether you disagree or don't like her or not, whatever, I just love someone with that kind of confidence in their own personality. Yeah, me too.

And I love, this was, this was Kimmy's episode. If like the last episode or so was like Martha's episodes, this is Kimmy's moment. She is so hilarious. She's so cutting. And honestly, what she said was exactly how I was feeling watching the episode. I was like, well, this is a tragic story. And I know I think last week we talked about, or last episode we talked about how we would like to hear more, for instance, about Missy's brother.

But at the same time, it's kind of like, this is where you decide to do it. And now everyone has to be serious. And we're at such a place in, I think, our society where when people do this, we have to be like, very like, oh, that's terrible. That's terrible. Okay, no, let's hold space for that. But the truth is, I think what we're all thinking is, we're here to get some wine and have fun and tell funny stories,

and then you're going to drop this bomb. So I was totally with Kimmy on it. I know it's mean, and it's, like, uncaring and insensitive, but it's also so fucking real. Like, we all know. We all have been in these situations, and then you're in a car driving back home from wherever you were, and you're with your friend and be like,

is it me? or did she totally kill the conversation? Did so-and-so just kill the conversation? And like, yes, oh, my God, I felt that same way, too. And that is what Kimmy is for us right now. Yeah. All right. Well, let's get into it, shall we?

Season 4, episode 3, whining in the rain. So it starts with everybody talking about London. And Margo's like, it matters so much where you live in London. I mean, something you always say when you meet someone new is like, oh, my God, which part of London do you live in? And when they say their neighborhood, you just know it so much. much about who they are. You know where else is like that?

Everywhere. Everywhere. Like in New York, you could just say where you live. And people are like, but what is that? I don't understand anything about you when you say that you live in Brooklyn Heights. Kimmy's like, well, I've lived in Belgravia for 20 years now. And now I'm in Chelsea. That's become quite expensive, but I love it.

And it says, Chelsea equals affluent. Well, I lived in Knightsbridge right by Chelsea, Mayfair, Notting Hill, you're right in the middle of the action. Nightsbridge, luxury. And then Lati is like, I live in Islington and Hackney, which is mostly arty people and creatives, whereas I would say if you're in Kensington or Notting Hill, people are a bit more interested in material things. So Hackney is artsy, which, by the way, if you want to live well in La Ogo, Go ahead, Ben. No, it's going to be like, I love that Lottie is doing the whole, we don't care about material things as much. I'm like, your entire, your entire occupation is about material things.

Tailoring high-end suits. That's material things. Yes. Yes. Missy says, if you want to live well in London, I recommend find a rich husband. Notting Hill, Boho Sheek. Then we see Micah walking around a flea market type thing. and she sees an antique phone and picks it up, and she's like,

Hello, London calling. Oh, God, you're so American, just stop it. The second time in a row. So embarrassing. The show's not even going to bother saying where she lives. Like, we won't just, she's American. We won't do that too long. You've got ketchup on your face.

God, what are you eating your happy meal at the thing? Come on, America. So Micah tells us, Portobello Market is one of my favorite places in all of London. So many antique phones where you can just pick up a receiver and say, hello London calling. It's very British. And then there's all these vintage shops. You can buy vintage shops. You can buy vintage earrings and you can buy cameras and you can buy literally almost anything. Almost anything. It's so cool. It never gets old.

They're like, please, lady, leave our beautiful market. Go away. Get out of our... You're dropping down the property values. There's nothing that said. There's no t-shirts here that say London on them. Please move along, tourist. So Lottie and Kimmy come up and Lottie's like, but if you found it? He's like, nothing. What else would we find in a place like this? Some opera glasses. Maybe.

I need some opera glasses sometimes. I do have a pair of those, actually. I do. I just bring them for the Luke. Oh. I love Lottie. I think Lottie does not want to be here. She just looks around and she goes, oh, telescopes.

Like there's material things. Who needs them? So Lottie's like, well, I guess all Opera glasses are pretty good for the races. Yes, and I just have them for the look. So, Mike is like, guys, you want to get some coffee? You want to get some coffee? Oh my God, London calling.

And they want me to need caffeine. How much longer do we have to shoot with this American? I don't know. Just give it about half an hour. We'll get a cocktail. It'll be more bearable. They cross the street like me. They just walk right into it.

And Micah's like, oh my God, be careful. And Lonnie says, well, they need to stop with pedestrians. She's so entitled. right out in the middle of the road. That's how I do it too. So they go to the Notting Hill bakery in order, and I'm just like, where's Hugh Grant? Because I too am an American.

So I just know that Notting Hill is where Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts fell in love in the movie. Well, I am just hoping that Julia Roberts can run into someone there who's holding an incredibly bright orange glass of orange juice. Because that's what I always remember from that movie is that like, doesn't she like spill the orange juice on him at one point? like fake orange juice for because it has to like pop on camera. So there's like orange paint basically on his shirt. And I was like,

that's not real orange juice. That's like the image that's like seared in my mind from that movie. That's what you left with. So Lottie's like, okay, asking the girl to have more realistic orange juice. Can we please get some more realistic proper? Okay, Julia deserves better, God.

So I just liked Lottie's order because I don't know if she's so beautiful. and so tiny. And she's like, I'll have a white chocolate with raspberry croissant, please. And I was like, that is just not fair. Come on, man. And Michael's like, why don't we get a ham and cheese croissant and a quiche? And I'm going to blame it all on you because you're pregnant.

I feel like right there is the difference between, like, British and American. British is white chocolate and raspberry and American ham and cheese croissant. I don't know. It just felt so like blah. And of course, I would want the ham and cheese over. for the white chocolate and raspberry because I'm a murder. Oh, hell no. So they sit down and Kimmy's like, well, I mean,

I had a lot to drink last night. And Lottie's saying, well, you needed more alcohol last night with everything that happened. She's like, oh, well, tell me, last night was very strange because when all of this kicked off, and then we see a flashback to last night, and Dara's friend being like, you're speaking about a person with that person in the room

and you're telling her to talk about other people, Well, Missy's like, tell the truth. You tell the truth! Well, Micah, I was expecting you to say something. Micah's like, I was in shock, honestly. I was like, shock calling from London. Just remember this callback when I was playing with the phone? You guys see me do that bit with the phone.

It was hilarious. Anyway, I was in shock, and I was just kind of like absorbing it. And I just, I wanted to hear what Missy had to say. Well, I felt bad for Missy because I think she got blamed for being the messenger. So, we see. Missy, like getting into a fight with Dara and everything at that party, et cetera. And they once again, like, they do it like three times this episode. They showed Dara saying, I didn't see those things.

Five minutes later. I sent those things. I said them. This is Dara. So back to present, Lottie's like, well, she was being made to look out like crazy and you were stuck in the middle. So I felt for Missy and I feel really sorry for you. And Dara should really own up to the shit she's been saying and stop running around

to Nying it because it's. just false. Yeah, I mean, just say it to my face. I mean, just say I'm basic and stupid. And you hate me. Why can't people just say things to my face? I really think the upsetting part is that I heard it from friends over the years that Dara has spoken bad about me, but I didn't want to believe it. And, oh God, the messy of all people just kind of confirmed everything. I just hoped it wasn't true. Well, I thought you handled it well, to be honest. Thank you, because I teach poise. So in that moment, I was practicing what I preach. And it's not always what you do, but it's like the composure in the moment for me, and that is the strength. It's like, oh, yes. By the way, you have a bit of ham and cheese hanging off of your chin. Oh, I'm so sorry. So Kimmy's like, well, good on Micah for like being polite.

But then, why would you cry over a friend like that? She's hideous. Get rid of her. I always say, when someone's horrible or toxic, just flush. Flash, flush, flush, flush, flush, flush, flush. I mean, if they're horrible and toxic, they have to at least be funny. She should have reached out to you already and apologize. Why are we still talking about this?

I'm smelling the ham and cheese for me here, darling. It's like, well, actually, I just missed a call. Well, we have to assume it's not your husband because he probably doesn't want to call you, right? So I'm assuming that's there, right? There's only two people who would ever call you, right? I mean, if I was her, I'd be embarrassed. I mean, awful, awful. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. So then we see a flashback of last night where Margo's like, I want to be privy to what Micah thinks and feels. And Micah's like, I'm hurt. I'm hurt. Okay. I'm just hurt. And we come back. And she goes, well, I was embarrassed.

And Lottie's like, you have nothing to be embarrassed of, darling. Nothing at all. You didn't do anything. Anything at all. If you should be embarrassed, it's to be such a wimp. That was embarrassing part. Well, I always love to give people benefit of the doubt. And this time, I guess I just, I don't know.

And so Kimmy's like, well, I think because you come across a little bit too genuine, people take advantage, which is not a bad thing. But you've got to be careful. I don't know. I always say, I don't make, don't mistake my kindness for weakness. No, no, no. We just mistake your kindness for stupidity. That's it. It's very simple.

Yeah. Well, for my own mental kind of well-being, I want to talk to Dara. I want to hear from Dera. I want to give Dara the opportunity to tell me things and to tell me the truth. I want to say This is Dara. This is Dara. Well, you know what you could do?

You could say, listen, we have to have a chart, but I want to do it by walkie-talkie. Pretty small. Everyone's like, could someone get the Americans out of the pastry shop, please? So Missy is, she's staging her apartment. Of course she is. This is so Missy. She's like, I'm a sache.

I'm a sache. I feel like Missy is kind of a faker. And like, I, like, this was the episode we were supposed to feel profound sadness and empathy for Missy. But I'm like so team Kimmy that like, now I'm like, she just brings the party down. She arranged an entire trip just that way she could tell her sob story and make people be like, oh, my God, Missy. And like, as was noted, it is a legitimate, very serious sob story. But I'm kind of like, she ruined that. I hate her now.

Yeah. Well, you know, she is a real housewife of Cheshire or a real housewife of Cheshire. Did you know that? Yeah. Did you bring that up last week? I did. I did. I told you that.

Yeah, you did tell me. Sorry. Yeah. So, you know, she's going to bring it all out. She knows the game. So she's like, okay, here we go. Episode one, trauma. You know?

So she talks about how hard she works to live in London. And she used to have these big homes and cars because she was married to. rich dudes. And now she's got a small apartment, but it's her own. And her son's off living with the dad. And she just has it for her and her daughter. And she looks around and she says, you know what? I did that. Oh, no. That's black mark on the carpet. I did that too. It was the sage. It was very positive carpet. So Missy FaceTime's Kimmy. And she's like, hi, bitch. You look gory. She's like, well, I wore my sunglasses because I'm a bit pissed. Which means.

drunk for all the Americans. And Mrs. like, we get a Chiron for all the words. It's like, pissed equals British slang for intoxicated. I know. They had to do it a lot this episode. Missy's like, oh, I'm a bit hungover, to be

honest with you. Well, I'm both. Well, so I called you because I'm both. I'm pissed down to I'm hungover. Well, I called you because I would love to invite you to a day out in London in a beautiful vineyard where I could make you feel very sad about something. It's like, oh, great. And so now she's calling everyone inviting them to go to the winery.

She's got cars. I'm going to pick everyone up. And Lottie is like, you know, for a pregnant person, what am I going to do with a fucking winery? It's awful. Well, it's really nice for her to come out to London, you know, have some fresh air. Precning people like fresh air, right? She's like, okay, fine, I guess I'll do that. So it's going to suck for you wherever you go. There's nowhere to find nowhere fun to go when you can't drink, you know? Well, I think that because of what happened at Dara's dinner, it felt like I was a bit of a drama queen, and there's no way to make people feel like you're not a drama queen, then gathering them all together, making everyone laugh, and stopping laughter by telling dramatic story of childhood. And by childhood, I mean a few years ago.

So, Kimmy's like, well, how much am I allowed to drink? That's my question. She's like, as much as you want, just control yourself. Good luck with that. So then Martha arrives at a storage facility, and she's like, hello, I've come to access my units. And the guy's like, okay, so he brings them to the unit, and they have to bring down this big, giant wooden storage unit thing with a crane. And he's opening it. She says, okay, can I see what hats I've got in there? He's like, uh, you can't indeed. Could you just, why don't you just go in there?

I'm going to look for the box that says hats. Just go through the storage unit, lady. I thought I'm not your hat master. So she's going through this big collection of hats. She's, I've had some wonderful times in these hats. Look at just lots of just running around London and picking up anything we found fun and attractive. So Margo shows up and Margo's wearing this like enormous kind of like black almost like garbage bag but chic like coat. And she's on a bike.

So it's all like the air is like her whole coat is like puffed up in the air. So she's just like this big entity just arriving. And then when she gets off the bike, the entire thing deflates. And so she's just wearing this big saggy trench coat kind of thing. And she's like, you know, you never know what weather you're going to get in London. I have a coat on just in case. Although it's pretty big. Holy shit.

This is where storage units keep their storage. I'm your storage units favorite storage unit. Hashtag shop around. Well, you know, I'm just, I was destitute and poor, bleneless after my divorce. But this is not the first time I've rebuilt. But hopefully. This time I'll get it right. Hard blink, hard blink. Smile through the pain. Smile through the pain.

So Martha's saying, I want my things back. I want to walk into my place and feel like I'm at home. Just feel the warm trickle of a leak coming through the ceiling and the rosy scent of black mold in the walls. That's what I want. This was Polly's hat. I can't get rid of Polly's hat. But why don't you just keep one or two of Polly's hats? then you can get rid of the rest of Polly's hats. Oh, you know, she's dead. It's not like I'm going to get any more Polly and stuff.

I had two sisters, and now I have one sister. My eldest sister died by suicide in 2013. She had bipolar disorder. I loved her enormously, but my relationship with her was complicated. It was a very challenging relationship. So then we cut from that to her wearing her dad's fess. She has this big fes on her head, and she's just like crying. She's like, God, I miss him.

And I was like, this is very sad. This is very sad, and I would be also crying in the same situation, but the fact that she's sitting there crying in a giant fes was sort of a funny image to me. Well, it's just the whole image. She's like, Daddy's Feds! And then she brings out this boat. She's like, Daddy's sailboat! So she's holding this boat wearing a fess. And Margo's like, well, you know, Martha, I mean, lives have big ups and downs.

You've had big big ups, you know, and so you know, your ups have been more than most people can dream of. She goes, yes, but I've been down for quite a long while. Playing with the boat and the fess. I can't. You know, it just feels like such a failure to not have my life more together at 45, and I don't really know how to get out of this down. Okay, I know, listen, this is part of moving out of it, though, right? Because you have a safe, new home. Emphasis on safe, right? Well, I don't know how safe it is because I've given my keys to...

stranger. Giving my keys to a stranger. And we see her on the phone with Kimmy, and Kimmy's like, are you sure he was even a builder? Just, no, it gets creepier. He's like, I'm not doing the job. And I said, we'll drop back my keys. Wait a minute. You gave him your house keys,

darling. So back to present, murder goes, So tell me exactly what happened. Did you get any references from this guy? And Martha's Grinich, goes, no, I didn't get any references. Did you get any pictures of the work you'd done before? No. Oh, God, Martha.

And Martha, you gave him keys to your house. And she's holding this boat in the fess. She's like, yes. I gave her the keys my house. And Margo goes, what the fuck is going on with her? I mean, she has serious life experience that has told her you cannot trust strangers. And then we see the headline, Martha has to move after man makes choking sound so she walks home at night. And Margo's like, well, who knows if he even made copies of the keys, Margie?

And she was like, I don't know. I don't know. Martha, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for you, and now I'm looking at you thinking, are you doing this on purpose? No, I'm not. I'm scared to be there. But I'm not going to be thrown out of my house by another fucking match. No, no, no. You're not being going to be thrown out of your house by another fucking man.

You're going to be thrown out of your house by you. Seriously, seriously, though. If you're going to keep acting like this, I'm going to have to take a step back from our friendship. No. What was this? She just starts yelling at this crying woman in her dad's. She was just yelling at her. I was like, what are you doing? It's like, no, please, Margo, don't. No, Martha. No, if I have to come to your fucking house and find your dead body, I mean, who do you think

would do, what do you think that would do to us? What do you think that would do to us, Margo? Like, how I got to take care of your magpie? Oh, do take care of Hickati. Hecat, Hecatee, hecatty, please take care of my sweet little bird. Please, I beg of you if I died. No, I'm not going to take care of your bird. And even your bird is mad at you, okay? And by the way, Martha looks, despite all this, Martha somehow looks so chic in her stripes, and she sort of has, like, shoulder pads or whatever, and, like, this high-waisted pants. She's just, like, chic and crying. And Margot's just, like, berating her. It was, I was like, this is amazing. I don't want to become one of those horrible people, and just because the world has been cruel

to me, I just refuse. I'm sorry. I will not be a person that refuses to give a strange homeless man has keys when he needs them. You don't have to be cruel not to be a victim. You have to care about yourself more than other people. That's really hard muscle to exercise when you've never done that. Look, I've always been nice to you, and no matter what, I cannot be this close to someone who's on a suicide mission. I was like, Margot, can we change up that verbiage, please?

But if you keep acting like this, you're just going to be fucking dead with nothing to show for it. And I'm going to say, oh, my friend Martha, I loved her so much. I know. You have waited your whole life for someone to take care of you and they never showed up. You had... Listen to me, Martha.

I was like, please slap her. I was like, please take this to the campy space that it deserves to be. Give her a slap across the face, you know? She almost did. I was like, I was surprised she didn't take that boat and just throw it down. Martha's like, no, daddy, sail on, daddy, sail on Silver Girl. Shake her by the shoulders, you know, do the whole thing. Stop it, Martha.

You stop crying. I'm listening. I'm learning, but it's tough learning curve, Margo. I'm trying. I'm just not very fucking good at me. It makes me so angry. It makes me so angry that I trust these fucking people, and then they're horrible. By the way, do you have a car I gave mine to a random person on the street?

So she tells us, yes, Margo, hardlink, hardlink, can be quite hotlink critical of me, but I know that she does it because she wants me to be my best friend. version and everything she's saying is correct. I do have to grow up, but sometimes it's, it's tough to take. I'm angry this time, Margo, and I'm not angry with you. I understand why you're angry with me. I promise I'm not taking this one. Guess what? I'm donating the Fez to charity. Goodbye, young Fez. Say, please, please, Margo. Margo's like, okay, you are sobbing now. Come here, come here and hug me. I got what I needed out of you, some tears. Now, come here. I love you. so much. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I yelled at you. Please get your hands off my keys.

No, you cannot. They won't work for your house. They will not work for your house. Please paint the wall, though. Could you paint it, please? Oh, right. I was an idiot. I've been a fool. Don't worry. I don't need the keys. I've left the door unlocked. Margo! Or Martha! So now Lottie, who does not care about material things, goes walking with her mom to go shopping. So, uh, she, uh, she's, She's like, thank you for coming down, mom, to do a bit of baby shopping. I haven't really got much. So they arrive at a place called Luna and Curious.

And she walks into this baby shop and she's like, hello. So we're sort of pregnant. It's like, you don't say you're at a baby shop. The employee's like, oh, congratulations. You're not the first person. Never hear that. Yes. You know, the Americans say, it's not my first time at the rodeo,

but that doesn't make sense to us out here. So let's make up... It's not my first crumpeter, I've bitten into. Well, we're just looking for some baby boots, really. She's like, oh, right, well, there's a lovely baby section just through that way. Croll there. Wah, wah. Let me know if you need anything.

You fucking lose us. So her and her mom go in, and her mom is teeny others. I know we bring up teeny others a lot, but her mom is like teeny others from... What are they? Family ties. Family ties. And she's got Bing. from the middle of her head all the way down to her eyes.

She's got the longest thing. I'm obsessed with her bangs. Committed to bringing back Mad Men hairstyles. She's like, My name is Jane, and I believe that I should look like Joan from Mad Men. So...

She's got Jones buffonant and bangs. So Lottie is like, Someone said to me, you shouldn't get anything with more than three poppers. So poppers mean buttons in snap buttons in British. So they're counting poppers all around. And they're like, look, look, this one has one, two, three.

And then Jane goes, four, five, where that's a bit ruined. Unfortunately, we can't be getting that little jumper because there's too many poppers. It's a popper orgy in here. Move it on. Move it on. She's like, I love my mom. We're really close. And honestly, I think my shopping addiction started with her because she would take me to the mall.

And we would buy loads of stuff as a lot. little girl. It was just her fault. I'm telling you. Ma'am, you literally started the episode saying that you live where you live because you don't care about material things. And now you're talking about your shopping addiction. Get it together. So Lottie's asking her what she was dressed in as a baby. And she's like, oh, easy things to get on and off, darling, you know? She's like, I feel like I started dressing myself quite early. Oh, you did, darling. I've always been interested in fashion. As a young kid, I would come down the stairs in my house and my dad would say, oh, having fun with your fashion again, are we?

Lottie, you know he was being sarcastic, right? She's like, I was supportive from an early age by my father who appreciated my love of fashion. I was like, no, he's like, oh, congratulations, you're wearing your pants as your shirt again, Lottie, having fun with fashion again? He would always say things to my mother like, oh, are we letting her dress herself for school again this morning? mother or the other girl are telling me to get a night nurse and that's the only way you can sleep and I just sort of think

I want to give it to go oh dare to dream Lottie she's like well then give it to go but then I'll just call you and I need help so Jane is like oh I see I thought that Lottie was saying that she was like gonna hire a night nurse

she was like guys I'm gonna hire a night nurse I was like okay but I guess she thinks she's not going to hire a nurse and she'll just use her mom because she's free. And she's like, and I'm hoping dad as well, we'll get involved in things. She goes, oh, yes, especially if you come and stay. Yes, I plan. I plan to a lot because, you know, you've got a

lovely home now, mother. I was like, oh, no, what was wrong with their home before? Seems like we do. Time for some backstory, where I learned some more British terminology that I did not know, and I love. So she says, my dad worked his way up from becoming an engineer to being a director and then a CEO, but then in 2008 we had the financial crash and a lot of people were made redundant and I was like made redundant and it says that that's British for being laid off and I think that is so hilarious

like I'm sorry but we're going to make you you're redundant now you've been made redundant I mean laid off is offensive enough but of course leave it to them to make it even snodier like I'm sorry you've been made redundant you are redundant unfortunately. So just think about that while you have no income.

So she goes, but with that came a very lucrative redundancy pay. It's like, yes, yes, redundancy pay made redundant, laid off. So she says that they were a big middle class family and they went from that to being upper middle class, but there's a class system in the UK and, you know, it's as much as who you're born into or born out of, you know what I mean. But you don't just necessarily move up because you've got more money. I think the term they would use for us is Nouveau-reach. This is the craziest sob story of all time.

My dad climbed his way to the top of the corporate ladder, and he went from just like a lowly engineer, and he became a CEO. But we lost it all in the financial crisis. Actually, we didn't lose it all. He had like an amazing severance, and it was so good that we just lived the rest of our lives, astoundingly wealthy. I was like, okay.

Yeah, I thought that was the, this was a happy story, right? It was. It was like, because we're so used to, our family had it all, and then we lost it all in the recession, and we couldn't find a job again. It was just really cruel and it was just so sad to see my father who had worked so hard, and now he spent the last 10 years just sort of at a funk. It was like, no. And he had a great golden parachute, and we've been living very well since then. And now he's rich. Rich as hell, I tell you. We're like, you know, like, if it weren't for the cast system, we'd be like just hella up

there in British society, you know? So they talk about the husband, Joshua, and the mom's like, so, do you think now Joshua is going to be looking after the baby? You know, she hates Joshua. And Marty's like, well, he's very sweet with the cat. She goes, well,

that's a bit different than a cat then, isn't it? It's a baby. The cats have bangs? I don't think so. It's like, well, but he does the litter trays. Just me. She's like, well, that's good practice. Now, just hope your baby can find some gravel to poop into.

And of course they have a hairless cat. Like, I would never expect them to have any cat that has hair. Like, of course, they get like the most sleek and slender cat of them all. Yeah, we've got to get the ardiest cat. What says artist more than a hairless cat? He works so much. I said to him, you know, you might want to think about taking the first two weeks off at work. And then that was an absolute no.

Oh, so he's not going to do his six-month opportunity leave. She was, no, exactly, no, leave it all. I was like, okay, here we go. Here are some of the issues. Well, you know, Joshua, like, he loves to work. That's his other baby. I hope he can take time away from that baby to spend time with our baby. I mean, the positive note is he's already taken care with her name.

He's already named to Helena Bonham Carter. And then we see that they basically pay $467 American for the baby clothes, which is, you know, I'd expect on the show. But also, if Joshua's not going to help with the baby, could he at least make some baby clothes? I mean, this is his, this is his job, you know? So they pay. And now we go to Kimmy with her two kids, and they arrive at a place called Pitipotter.

And it's basically like, color me mine, but in London. And so it has a better name. Pitipotto. And they sit down to paint some pottery. So they're figuring out what they're going to paint. And Kimmy's like, oh, little piggy banks. Look at the owl, Mimi. I think you should pick one of these.

And Amadeus is like, I want to buy you a vase. And she's like, oh, thank you. And he decides to do a burger and the daughter is going to do a vase. And she's like, well, I'm a pretty hands-on mom because Mimi, obviously, she's on the spectrum. So she's behind people on a lot of things. So I try to bring her into anything that's hands-on. And she enjoys that because she's a really lively character when she's enjoying something. And she's got a heart of gold.

And let me tell you, this kid can take down a box of wine like a sailor. And then Mimi says, like, I'm going to do a vase just for mom because mom broke it. Well, actually, I think your dad broke my vase. And I'm just like, no, he didn't. She's like, yes, he did. The Vinini vase that I spent a lot, a lot of money on. The good news is Mimi's making me another one. It's a good thing I have you.

Mimi, but yes, don't never forget. It was your father who broke the vase, the expensive, expensive vase. Oh, don't you remember? It's your father who broke the vase. Now, granted, it was broken with his head as I slung it on top of it, but still, it was his head that broke the vase. Watch your mouth. Watch your goddamn mouth. And that's why your father doesn't get extra clams on family dinner night. You know, Stuart and I, you know, we've had a lot of ups and downs, which is the theme of the episode, ups and downs, like a lot of ups and downs. But I just kind of try to move on and try to turn the page. I mean, only because I know the experience of when two parents have a very fractured relationship.

And so then she tells us that she comes from a horrific breakup family. And she says that her mother blamed she and her brother for everything for the divorce, which was weird because they were kids. And so when she was 10 or 11, her father took them and they went off to live in Haiti. And because her father was associated with the people and the regime of Duvalier in business. And so then they were in Haiti and then they moved to Miami. And she, like, didn't talk to her mom for 10 years. And her parents never talked to each other.

Her story is just, and just how she tells it. She's like, yeah, and then we went to Haiti. And, you know, he was with the Duvaliers in business ways. Get a picture of the Porsche. Okay. Yeah. And then my mom playing basketball. Didn't talk to that bitch for 10 years.

And, you know, they never spoke. again. This one, I was not expecting that her origin story was Miami and Haiti. I was expecting, you know,

well, you know, I was in Greenwich, Connecticut, and then I went to school up at Hotchkiss. And then after that, you know,

I did Sarah Lawrence and then, you know, found my way over here to London and did some time at St. Andrews. No, it was just like, I was in Haiti and Miami.

I was definitely, definitely not expecting that. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think my mother had her own personal issues, but she was young

and she was in her 20s. She was probably angry. You know, realized she married the wrong guy. Been there. Lost a vase over it. But, yeah, I don't feel like, you know, any strong maternal presence in my life. When I was young, that's probably why I didn't want to have kids. I don't want to fuck them off. Okay, well, Mimi, good job. Mimi's like a Jackson Pollock over here. Am I right?

She's got that mother critical. I love it. I love that, like, bit of critical stuff. that seeks in. And the kid's like, I'm having fun, mom. She goes, oh, that's what counts. She's terrible at this. Just terrible.

Wow, I can't wait to hide this vase in the back and just say that your father broke it again. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we go to Micah. She goes to Chestnut Coffee Shop and she orders a latte. And she sits down with, dun, done, don't, don.

This is Dara. Wow. Darra's already back. And I loved how excited I was. I was like, normally when someone leaves the show, it's then not until the next season or like at the season finale that we circle back to them. And it's like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

A confrontation with Darrah, but we're like, nope, we're getting right back into it. Yeah, I was literally excited to see her too. I was like, well, maybe they got her to unquit or something. I was like, I was not expecting a bonus Darra scene. So Micah comes up, they're both wearing cream. And Micah comes up to greet her. And Darry goes, oh, my God.

I was literally post. posting an Instagram post. I'm like, great, thank, great story, Dara. Micah goes, Micah goes, just now? No, Micah. No. I mean, I kind of see what Dara is saying about Micah. Like, seriously.

I was posting an Instagram. You were like right now? Yeah, because like, I've been waiting here forever. You ordered something? She's like, I did. I got a vanilla latte. The yu-euse. It's me.

I'm angry. I'm in my angry lady hat. I'm in my revenge hat, so. Yeah. See, but you. you have to say about it. There's Dara that's a good friend. And then there's the side of Dara that I'm learning really fast. I can't trust. Like, when did she do that Instagram story? Nobody knows.

Which, of course, it turns out mentioning the Instagram story was just a highlight that she was there at first and waiting. So Dara's like, so how's it going? She's like, well, I don't feel great after we last saw each other. I feel like I've been holding on to that. Have you really? That's such a non-public-facing person thing to do. It's like, mm-hmm. Wow. Wow. That's so sad for you to have to hold on to that.

But I guess it's kind of all you have, right, since your husband's never around. Did I say too much? Oops. And so we see all these flashbacks, mostly of Dara just being, I never said those things. And then to production, I did say those things. So then back to present, Tara's like, well, I mean, it's really just not that big of a deal. Like, I think what's a big deal is she had to say it in front of all those people? I mean, that's what the issue is.

you know, like, why did you have to embarrass me like that? She goes, but you can imagine my shock. But could you imagine my shock? Tara, expertly smithing about her. Wow, they really let this one fall through the cracks. She is, wow. Micah's like, well, I mean, but like I was the one in the moment where it was like the negative things were being said about me.

And I was really just, I just was not only shocked, but I was like so hurt. And I was just like the person that I would have wanted to lean across the table to hug to be like, protect me was the person that was saying the things out there were coming from. She was, well, I do stick up for you all the time. She's like, yeah, that's what friendship is. That's what friendship should be. She's like, I know.

And I stuck up for you that night at the table, remember? And I got to that moment where Dara doesn't know what else to say. She goes, um, Micah's my sister, my cringy, walkie-talkie buying sister. And I absolutely love the walkie-talkie. much that I threw them in the trash because I was afraid I would be so distracted by my lump for them. Okay, but I'm just telling you how I felt. Yeah, I get it, but like, I felt the same way.

Okay, but like, you're, you shouldn't have told her that stuff. Do you understand? But I didn't tell her, babe. I didn't. I mean, she was just, like, she just happened to make up stuff about walkie-talkies using the word cringe. I feel like Dara had such an easy out here. She could, she could have been like, oh, I was.

just joking. I was like, oh my God, you know, Micah can be so cringe, walkie talkies, but then it turns out it's actually like really sweet and like that's what I love about her. Like there's so many like ways you can like you can spin it. Because I think that Micah just wants that because Michael would be like, oh my

God, yeah, no, I totally am cringe. Like that is me. Like I'm not denying that, but like I'm also authentic. No, and that's what I love about you because like we need people who are just like, give fun gifts like that. Like it was taking out context. But Darry does not even try. She's like, no, I never I never said that. I never said that.

And her defense is even, it makes it even worse because she goes, did I say anything directly to Missy? No. She obviously overheard it. Okay. So you've been saying to other people that she's cringe and embarrassing? You have no reason not to trust me. I mean, Christ's sake, you know me.

You know me. I don't even know how to respond to that, you know, because I've come to this table to find out what the authentic story and truth is here. And it's only to mile, defensiveness, and deflection, the three magical D's. So, Micah's like, I just, I want to feel now more than ever. I need to feel safe in a friendship, right?

Yeah, but it goes both ways, too. See, like, I'm really committed to making me somehow the victim of this situation. Yeah, but, like, it should go both ways, you know? And, you know, we should feel safe. I have your back, you have my back? Like, do you feel like I've always had your back? She goes, yeah, and I hope that you feel like I've always had your back. And she's like, oh, my God, I can't.

It's like, it's going in circles. So she tries again, and she just keeps trying, and it's so funny, it's like going up against a wall. Dara just keeps going, but me too, though, babe, me too. And so finally Dara's like, we're going in circles. Which is funny because it's Dara's the one in the circle, right? Yes. She somehow makes it seem like Micah's the one in the circle. Like, it's so good.

And Dara's like, anyway, like, I love you. And like, I don't want you to be able to. upset. And so Mike is like, I've known each other since we're teenagers, but I'm gutted. Got it. Got it, I tell you. Okay, well, I have to get back to work. So I'm sure you have to get back to whatever it is that you're pretending to do for a job. So you go, girl. Love you. Dara, the amount of contempt in Dara's eyes where she was like, I'm not going to let you do this to me. Like, yeah, I did say those things, but I'm not going to admit it. And, like, it was just, she was so condescending.

It was, I mean, it was blatantly rude, but it was so funny. It was so funny because Michael, like, did not know what to do with herself. Yeah. So now it's 1023, and Mark pulls up on a car to Missy, and Missy has an umbrella. Oh, it's raining. Oh, London. Am I right? The most wonderful things about Great Britain, the weather.

Because it's always reliable, reliably ghastly. Oh, oh, yes, a good old. dose of British weather here, haven't we? And I have not dressed for it. That's too bad. Also, I gave my raincoat to a stranger in the park because he said he would paint a wall for me, and

unfortunately, that was about three months ago. So, I've been wet for a while now. They get into the fanciest cars I've ever seen. The fanciest minivans. I was like, wow. They were so nice. Oh, my God. So they all pile into a couple of those.

It was like train cars, yeah. And Kimmy comes. and she's like, oh, I don't mind a little rain, but it's pissing down right now. Well, thank God golly. You've got the wellies. Wellies, waterproof boats. So Emma is... Waterproof boots. Boots. What did I say? Boats. What did I say? Boats.

Which is what my mom always called my shoes because they're so big. So in the car, Emma, I'm sure, darling, I just don't want to confuse the audience who's going to walk around after the education that they've had. of water-crapers. It's already waterproof. Why would I say a waterproof boat? It's ridiculous. No, I was just trying to have your back. Oh, darling.

If you can't, Ronnie, if you don't stop this right now, I'm going to take a step away from this friendship, okay? Because I am not going to be like Ronnie is someone that I used to know. Well, Polly is dead. I can't get any more Polly hands. Oh, Daddy! So Emma is there and she's like, How does one dress for a day at the vineyard in a hurricane? cane, you just got to Ahmed. And Margo was like, she's like, well, I don't even know they had

vineyards in England, which, by the way, fun fact, I wish I can remember who told me this, because I hate giving fun facts without being able to give a source. But what I was told is that because of global warming, the wine belt has actually gone north. And so a lot of the vineyards in France are actually having issues and British vineyards are becoming a thing because it's warming up enough that now Britain is part of the wine climate. Now, I don't know if this is true or not, but that's what I heard. And everyone go tell it at cocktail parties this weekend and see what happens. Spread it. And tell them, tell them you learned it on a waterproof boat. I'm going to look, wine belt, Britain. Oh, wine tasting with Kimmy. This is going to go bad for everyone.

No, this is every day of your life. What are you talking about? So they get stuck in traffic. It's 1141, and they're supposed to be there in like an hour, and it takes three. And he's like, but I'll have to leave it two on the dot. I mean, imagine we're supposed to get there slightly earlier. So, yeah, that's crazy. That took them three hours. I mean, luckily, again, they're in like the most luxurious sprinter vans of all time.

And they walk right into this winder, and he goes, all right, everybody, goodbye. I know. I'm such a selfish bit. The journey took three times as long as it should have taken, but I really want to be there. But I mean, heaven knows I love a wine tasting, but this afternoon I have charity meetings. I work for three charities, where my primary responsibility is to walk up to children and ridicule them to their face. And I have to say, that will always say precedence over a social event. First, I've got to go to the headbands for cancer with children, children with cancer charity,

and then I have to go to the plants for roly-poli's charity, and then the, Helicopters for ladies named Helen. You know, it's a very, very, very dear to my heart calls. Sorry, ladies. So this woman named Elaine is like, Ladies, welcome to original vineyard. Two are not drinking alcohol, so here we go. And Lati is like, oh, I hate being in a winery and not drinking wine.

Smelling, it's even worse, because then you get a whiff of it, and then you're like, I just want to drink it. The worst place ever to bring a pregnant woman. They're like, shut up, Lati. The scene must go on. Well, we pair diamonds to sparkling wine because they're two of the best things in the world, so they must be enjoyed together. So I'm going to invite you to try and pair the wine we've just tried with one of the gemstones here.

That's only one right answer, all right? So Kimmy doesn't. She's like, all right, diamonds. Okay, well, I would pair this one with your block to block because it's all chardonnay, and I'd say that was our white champagne. Bing! Ooh, so you're the expert of the... the group. Yes, and I would say that this is your blanc de noir because it's all peanut noir,

and so it's all slightly darker, a little murkier. It's like, ding, it's like, oh, my goodness. Oh, look, at this, oh, this wine. It's a very citrusy and freshly baked. It tastes like freshly baked breads. It's like a lemon posse with like a fresh, cream fresh at the end, wouldn't you say? Like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like, do you want a job? And Emma says, yes, she needs a job. Emma's here now. Classy Emma. She's like, she does. She needs a job. Don't be fooled by the shocking, outrageously inappropriate sense of humor. She's actually a very intelligent person. Now, can we see the, can we see clips of her sense of humor? She's like, I don't like a man. You can't eat bush. You're skinny, you're hot, and I'm not even a lesbian.

I want to see your boobs. Show me your boobs. My boobs are like falling out all the time. So, yeah, Emma's like, yeah, she's pretty smart, actually. So then can me taste another drink? And she goes, well, it's a bit of guava and jolly rancher. Okay, ladies, you're going to sit down and have a lovely meal, but all you'll do is laugh. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Well, great, great. Can we have some more blonk to blonk?

By the way, she says blonk to blonk. I feel like ten times. I'm so funny. I don't know why it makes me laugh, but every time she says that I crack out. She's like, okay. Well, we'll have some more. of your sparkling, blonk to blonk. Wow, it's a real blonk to blanc kind of day, right?

Missy, what a great idea. What a gorgeous day. Thanks for having us. And she's like, well, I feel like because what happened last, you'll see me in this crazy mud because I was so frustrated, you know? Well, I thought you were just like a featherweight fighter. No, but I mean, I do have the Albanian in me, you know, because I am feisty. I'm very feisty. But I'm not going to lie. I also like the truth. And I've just promised myself from leaving my very toxic relationship that I want to show up authentic to everyone

and to get to know people on a real basis. And I thought it would be a quite nice thing to share a few personal stuff. And then I will share my thing, which will be the most serious of all. Okay. So who wants to try to start one-uping me? Okay, okay.

Who goes first? Missy? Oh, it's something serious. How about you go first, Kimmy? Emma, because she knows she won't do it. So Kimmy's like, well, I'll go first. Fine. All right, well, I have three nipples.

I'm just joking. I'm just joking. Okay, well, I spend a lot of time in Haiti, growing up with my parents got divorced, and my father's Haitian. So every time I go to Miami with my father, and my father's really funny, and there's, like, a huge shopping mall in Miami, and all the ladies in the kiosks are Haitian. And my father says to them, Creole, he goes, you know, I found this little white girl in the mall. That was funny. And then I turn around and I say Creole. I'm like, oh, I've already seen.

slept with him. Don't worry. Give him a discount. Beat that. Beat that guys. And then she says that, like, she says that in Creole on camera. I was like, this bitch speaks Creole. What? It's amazing. Like, I want to see Kimmy hang out with Kiki on Miami and just see them speak Creole together. Because that is, like, I was like, oh, my God, this is, Kimi is amazing. So Micah's like, like, oh, she's like, well, my mom's Boston. My dad's from Barbado, so I'm half Bahan. And growing up, I didn't come from a place where that was normal. And I mean, and I have a mixed family upbringing. The answer is yes. I did send some walkie-talkies to Rihanna. I haven't heard back yet. But it was special to me, and I always felt really proud of that. And I didn't grow up with formal manners at all or etiquette. And my career was just like, oh, it came out of a deep insecurity of having no idea what was going on. Are people falling asleep while I'm telling my story? Can we have some more Blanc de Blanc, please.

And Margo's like, well, I've just been copying everything you do. I was just eating my fish without my knife, and I was like, oh my God, I'm not supposed to scoop it. I'm supposed to stab it and put it in my mouth. I just copied you. You're so good. By the way, this food that they're eating is gorgeous. It's a piece of fish.

I don't know what the fuck is even on top of this fish. It's the most beautiful artwork on top. It's a beautiful dish. Whatever it is. So then Margo's like, okay, my turn. In the early 2000s, I made a movie. At the time, it was the sexiest British film ever made. It was called Nine Songs. And the Newser World put out a hotline for anyone who had information about me, and I became literally like hunted game. And we see a headline that's like, you know,

there's like, you know, in the movie, like, there's an ejaculation on scene, on camera and everything. It was like, oh, is it like a porn film? Talk about Blanc to Blanc. Am I right? She's like, no, it went to Cannes. It wasn't, it can't be a porn film because it went to Cannes. But I'm going to have to go a bit more deeper, I think. Okay, everybody. I lost my brother very publicly in London. And they're like, oh, oh, wow. Margo was just talking about a movie where she caused a guy to ejaculate on camera.

And she's like, okay, I lost my brother very publicly. I'm like, Missy. So Martha's like, may I ask what happened? And she says, well, he got shot in London. He got shot. And everyone's like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Geez.

And she's like, he was so handsome and beautiful and caring, and he loved everyone. And it was six years ago. And he had two kids. And she's like, basically he was shot in front of his son. So she tells this story. He was walking home from a nursery with his wife and son. And they were outside the front door. And the wife looks back and he's getting shot.

And the wife is banging on the door to throw the baby inside. And it was Christmas Eve. This is crazy, the story. And she's like, it's my first time. I ever spoke about it, but myself, you know, because everyone thinks of my family some crooks and why did he die, like, was he a drug dealer? You know, everyone was judging the death. And it's taken me so long to talk about it because I tried to keep it deep in my stomach. But me saying it loud is like confirming it happened, you know? And Mike is like, wow, you know, Alex is still

in your veins, though. He still lives with you. And it just keeps cutting to Kimmy. And Kimmy's face is like, oh, God. Like, she's not really going over the top. She's like, oh. And, and, like, she's like, giving more details. She's like, and it was Christmas Eve. They're like, oh, no, and in front of the kids. Oh, no.

And it's just like, oh, my God, one thing after another. And, like, don't get me wrong. It's, uh, it is 100% of tragedy. And I would never, I would never like take that away from Missy. It's a terrible, terrible thing that happened. But you do see Kimmy and she's like, oh, my God. We're just talking about how Margo. made a guy come on camera. Now this wall, geez. So can me, by the way, and this is a very sad

parallel to earlier, the original Ladies of London, which also had like shadows of underworld crime when Noel's boyfriend was like suspiciously fell out of his window and onto like a fence down below. But there was like, there was like mob connections. That's true. Right. Yeah. Her husband was like in the Russian mob or something. or allegedly. Very fishy that happened there. So, so Kimmy's like,

well, this is definitely not the tone I was expecting for a viticulture lunch. I mean, I feel bad for Macy, but it's more than I had anticipated. I mean,

how about we talk about something funny? Am I right? And she's just like, whoa, wow. I started cracking up because it was kind of what I was thinking,

because when you watch these shows, you know, especially in the past decade or so, everything is about your trauma. It's all based, you know, the only way to get anything is like, okay, now it's your time for your drama, and they have to do it on every show. They do it on Big Brother. They do it on Survivor.

It's like, oh, my God, I didn't find the rice. And this reminds me of the time when my bike was stolen when I was a child and I was literally run over by a roadrunner, you know, and then it's like, and then the whole time they talk about that. And so it's kind of everyone, you know, getting social capital based off their trauma. And you're just supposed to go along with it. Even if it's annoying, you're just supposed to be like, okay, well, that was sad. or whatever. But just that Kimmy is like everyone's inside force. Being like, oh, Jesus.

I'm in a whiner after you hear about your dead brother. There's also something. Let's talk about shots. Can we get some shots over here, Blanc to Blanc. I'm like to Blanc to Blanc my brain right now. This is just so boring. But there was, you know, I think the thing like that kind of rubbed me the wrong way is like, on the one hand, I think it's, it is actually very nice that she's sharing this, like, very sad chapter in her life. But there was, like, a little bit of an element of manipulation about it for me. And part of it is probably the producer said, hey, we want you to talk about this. So, like, I can't fully blame her.

But I kind of felt like, oh, she set up this whole thing to have this moment where, like, everyone's having fun. And then she's like, guys, let me tell you about something very serious to me. And it's like, I don't know. I just felt, it felt, I don't know, there was something about the timing of this conversation that felt a little self-serving. Maybe I'm just being really callous and unfeeling right now. But it's like what you said. It felt like it was to build social capital in a way that, I don't know, it made me be like, I didn't, I don't know, it didn't sit right with me.

It seemed like typical reality fodder to me where they're like, okay, everybody, let's unload our traumas. I just like that, you know, the reaction to it was so rude on, on Kimmy's part, I just, especially later. Here she wasn't really being rude. Yeah. But it's just, it was nice to see a different reaction. It's just like, oh, God, why are we all have to talk about our traumas? Can we just have some fucking wine? Because in real life, that's what you, you know.

It's like, oh, my God. Why are you ruining the wine dinner? So everybody else is really nice. And they're like, oh, my God, that's so sad. And then Missy then turns to Emma and she goes, aren't you love? That was a big one. Like, good luck.

Good luck following me, bitch. Yeah, there was kind of like a one-upmanship. There was, it was like a little bit of like that trauma Olympics that happens on reality TV. So it's like, now it's your turn, Emma. And Emma's like, I don't know what to say, my goodness. Well, yeah, because Emma's like, I own long leap past safari. Is it hard to struggle sometimes owning rich things? And she's like, yes, it's a huge challenge.

You know, I feel a huge responsibility not only to the people of this country, but to the rhinos. And Missy's like, well, especially because you're a mom too. You know, you want to talk about that. Oh, yes. Being a mother, I work hard. order than ever. What? Bargo's like, what does your husband do?

He runs the business. He runs everything. Annie, you do it together. And Kimmy's like, oh, and he's the funniest guy. Yes, he's hilarious, but he's very serious and business-minded. Emma's like not giving anything. She's like, mm-hmm. It's hard. So your husband is a duke, is that it?

She goes, Marquess. Well, I don't know. What's the difference? Because I'm not English, so I don't know the difference. And Kimmy is like, well, higher than a duke. I'll tell you that much. And then we see on the screen, it's like, high arc of English nobility, Duke, Marquez, Earl, Viscount, Baron, Baronet. Not higher. Yeah. It's like, oh, correction. So Kimmy's like, well, thank God for Emma. I mean,

that was really funny. Oh, geez. So now Martha's turn. She goes, well, here's my story. I have a white tattoo. I had a sister who killed herself. She was called Polly, and it's the P from the signature. And I wanted it in white. But it, I got a, it done, like two or three days after she died, and I just wasn't in a fit state to fight with the tattooist. I was like, oh, okay. God, listening to everyone's sad story. I mean, geez, I need a drink. It's painful. Get me some blon to blon. I wore my shrink.

Then it got the lottery and she goes, well, I want to kind of reciprocate everyone being vulnerable, so about eight years ago, my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. She goes, oh, God. They started him on a miracle drug. It's been eight years now and he's still with us. And they're like, oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. It's like, oh, God, this is inoperable.

I mean, this was supposed to be a nice day out. And I felt bad for the vineyard people. I was like, sorry, sorry, we're such drips. Well, I think we should have fun now, so let's go have some drinks. And several, it's like, oh, great time, Missy. What a great vulnerable lunch. We just loved it. So now, one really, we should have.

room has champagne pong set up. And then in the other room is Kimmy talking to Margo. Okay, so we start with the beer pong ladies and they're like, oh my God, beer pong. It's like beer pong, but like with champagne, this is crazy. Yeah. And they were talking about beer pong. And Kimmy's like, okay, Margo, we need to go talk. Okay. Okay. So let's talk. And she's like, my God, that was just like way too much. She's like, oh, because of we had the chat. She's like, I mean, Like, this is, what, this was like an N.A. meeting. Am I right? Narcotics and office. Oh, and Margo's like, well, you know, I mean, it's kind of a big deal. And she's like, oh, God, please. So we go back to Champaign Pong, and they're talking.

And Lottie's like, well, you know, we didn't really hear anything from Kimmy that we didn't already know. I was just wondering if she's normally that way. And Martha's like, oh, she's amazing. Don't worry. But can she be vulnerable? because I think it would be nice to know something more about her. I mean, I shared how my father had cancer, but he's fine now. You know, did I tell the one about who lost his job, but he's rich now? Really, things do work out for my father. But I would really, there's a girl's lunch of vulnerability.

I mean, even the rich one talked about how she has to have a zoo in a backyard. So depressing, darling. I'm sorry. What is Lottie talking about? First of all, Kimmy started it off, so she didn't know that the tone of this was to be like, oh, let's share trauma. So she was maintaining the tone of the conversation, which is like, here's a fun story of my life, my childhood. In fact, she shared that she spent time in Haiti. And I thought that actually was insightful. And I just feel like she didn't know that it was going to turn into like, let's all share something that was like really sad and scary.

Let's like trauma bond over this. She had no idea that was happening. So you can't blame her for that. Yeah, I think she was picking up on Margo's or, I feel like her name should be Margo, don't you? But it's not. Everyone's name has an M and everyone's name either starts with an M or has prominent M's in it. Yeah, but she seems like more of a Margo to me. Like, oh, no, Margo.

But it's not as Kimmy. So I think she was picking up on Kimmy's looks because the camera kept catching Kimmy. And she wasn't doing overt, like, oh, God. But her face was like, oh, God, another fucking sad story. Well, who else's husband died, you know? So I think they were kind of picking up on that. And she's basically saying like, Kimmy's, is, is anybody else getting that Kimmy is a coldhearted villain? Or is it just me?

Yeah. They're going to try to make Kimmy the villain, but it's not going to work because everyone's going to turn on Lottie and probably Missy. So Kimmy's like, I mean, look, Margo, everything, everyone, everybody's really great. It's just, I just think that people are quieter than others. And I just, I thought Emma was really quiet. And Margo's like, I mean, well, she wasn't divulging any personal information. Well, of course. I mean, I know a lot about her and her husband.

She's like, oh, you knew Siebelin first? Well, Siebel and I were very good friends before they were together. It's like, but did that change when they got together? Oh, no, no. We were just friends. I mean, we were naughty friends. Did you ever hook up? Commercial break.

And it seems like she's going to say yes because she just gives a smirk and it goes to commercial. But when we come back, she's like, no, we didn't hook up. I mean, come on. She was like, well, I swear to God, we didn't. Well, do you think that Emma knows that you're about? or do you think, Emma thinks that you're a bad influence on her husband? What are you saying? She goes, oh, yeah. You know, he put me in, you put me in a ceiling in a box, I mean, we'll just laugh our heads off. And he's a bit crazy and she's kind of

the grown-up, but it's quite ironic because she's a younger person in the relationship. So then over the, with champagne pong, Martha's like, oh, Emma, do you have any autos there in your safari? She's like, yes, We do. She's like, oh, if I can get this? Can I, can I go in with the otters? I'd love to swim with the otters, please. Do you think any of the autors know how to paint an apartment? She's like, well, I mean, you can feed the otters in a wholesome matter. Haldon manner. So, Martha misses the cup, but Emma drops the ball in for her. And they're like, oh, my God, Martha won. She's like, oh, my God, I've simply never chosen to live responsibly. And she's like, I get to feed the

daughters naked in their pool. Emma's like, no, God. So then Missy thinks the night went so well. She feels so supported, and she's so happy to have this group of ladies. And so everybody packs back into the vans. And Margo, we're in Margo's car. She's with Kimmy. And Margo goes, so Kimmy, you hated it?

She goes, headed what? The chat. Oh, God. Listen, I just can't deal with that. I mean, when people start opening up too much, I just find it disingenuous. And I think that's what I was picking up on also. There was something felt like, like, I don't know why.

Disingenuous is not the word I would use, but it's like that sense of like, why are you doing this? What are you trying to achieve right now? So Martha was like, well, but I didn't know that about Missy. I feel really bad. And Kimmy's like, well, I mean, I know the story. It was some drug-related thing, which is like on the heels of Missy saying,

like it's been so hard because everyone think that we're crooks and involved with drugs. And she said, well, yeah. Well, it's some drug thing that happened. Margo's like, well, I mean, that's what the press said. But who knows what the real story was? There's no nuance. Right, right. Well, I'm just saying, though, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing.

I mean, there definitely was some drug-related thing. I mean, it was. It just was. So Martha's looking it up on her phone and it says, Swedish kickboxer found guilty of murdering father of two an organized hit. And Kimmy's like, well, I mean, you know, it's one of it. It is. I mean, let's not make it into some fucking sob story. Bargo goes, it is a sob story. It is literally a sob story. Oh, so you just think that it just happened by fucking accident?

I think it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Oh, God. Listen, have you ever watched Saturday Night Live? I mean, there used to be a character called Debbie Downer. Debbie was just always the person that would come to the party and be like, oh, my sister died. I mean, you're not. And then the whole party would go, well, shit, you know, I mean, I hate Debbie Donner. So just hate them. Call me old-fashioned. And then it zooms in on her and goes, blah, boom.

Well, I mean, it's sad. It's horrible. But it is what it is. Mark was like, I mean, Jesus Christ, what's a girl got to do around here to get some fucking sympathy or empathy? So, Martha's like, oh, no, he shot him. He shot him eight times. Well, there he go. There you go.

There you go. Point proof. What is... I just thought that was so funny. Like, what is... What is Kimmy... What point did Kimmy just make? Well, there you go.

Eight times. See? Nothing to sob about there. A real sob story is ten times. Martha's like, oh, my God. Well, no. Listen, I've seen a lot of stories like this. There's so many stories like that.

Burgos like, yeah, but I mean, I've never met anybody that was their family. Well, I have. I mean, when I was living in Haiti as a young girl, the gun crime, I've seen growing up as unreasonable. It's unreal. I mean, none of this, none of this fames me. I mean, none of this faces me. It's just crazy. She's being pretty flippant about something really horrific, but equally, I think that's a deflection. I mean, I don't want to sit here on harp on bad things that happened to me 30 years ago. It doesn't help me. Makes me feel worse. Can we get some blon to blonk in this curve or crying out loud?

I thought it was interesting because it's this whole, it's this whole episode about like, okay, how vulnerable. Let's show all the darkest parts of these people. people basically, right? You had the scene with Martha and the storage unit. And I mean, it's been pretty dark. And this was making me laugh. But I thought it was neat, like how Martha turned it. And she was like, well, I do think this is projection. And then they, because then it makes you look at it like, oh, yeah, this is like, Kimmy is like a deeply sad person. Yeah. Who's just like, I don't want to talk about this shit. And so she just keeps going on and on. She's like, I mean, I'm not talking about shit from 30 years ago. I mean, it just makes me feel. course. Martha's like, well, I don't know why you're yelling at me. I was not arguing with you. She's like, oh, I'm not. I'm just going to throw my hat at you and just kick it off. Yeah, Margo's like, yeah, you just happen to be in her eye line. I agree. Like, clearly, you know, Kimmy's has like a dark childhood, right, where there was this vicious divorce. The mom who blamed, like, she had to deal with whatever psychological baggage comes with your mom blaming you for the dissolution of the family. And then moving to Haiti, where she obviously was exposed to. some sort of violence and she probably doesn't want to revisit those moments and those memories. And so all the sob story stuff is like, don't take me back there. So it is pretty interesting. And, uh, but also simultaneously, her reactions were very funny and entertaining. And I just love that the show is like, yes, we'll give you like some serious stuff and some stuff that's like, wow, this is shocking. And these women have like, have like really, you know, like, uh, they've

been through some stuff. But the show is also going to be like, but, We're still going to cut through this with a dose of acid. We are going to still be funny in these moments. I love that. Yeah. Good show. Good show. All right, everybody.

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