Watch What Crappens - #3263 THE 2026 GOLDEN CRAPPIES PART TWO

Episode Date: March 15, 2026

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Hello and welcome to watchwell crap and it's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two. It's a show we love. We love this. It's time to celebrate all things below deck and here to help us do that. Chef Zarina! Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you for having me.

Oh my God, Serena. Well, it kind of is because below deck can take over. You know, we got to like relegate you guys to your own category. This is true. Sometimes. I didn't realize so many people liked it. Oh, yeah. People love the Lideck.

Below deck is huge. The other thing is that sometimes real housewives steals the spotlight. Below deck is a behemoth in its own right, and it deserves a spotlight on this show and many other places. It's the highest rated show on Bravo, and it's also the bridge in so many marriages to Bravo. The husbands are like, I'm not watching this bullshit anymore,

and then they put on Below Deck. They're like, okay, I'm here. I can't tell you how many times I've encountered people. They're like, oh, you do a Bravo podcast. Like, yeah. Oh, I don't watch that. No. I mean, I do watch that yacht show.

And then I know every single detail of every single below deck. I had it the other day. I went into an art studio and this man was like, I got my wife into Below Deck. And I've never heard that before. It's like he's talking about like Fuzzies, Fuzzies, you know. I got my wife into it. It's below deck.

You don't have to be ashamed. So tell me. Are you watching the current season? I'm actually not. I've been really busy, but I think I might start watching. You have to, because it's the second chapter of Alicia. I know, and I've heard, Eliseu is calling me, and I was like, oh, girl, I'm so sorry you got bad.

Oh, my God. I have a question. I have a question. I feel like when Alicia was working under you, she seemed like a pretty all right sous chef. She was able to cut vegetables and put things and things. And this season, like, something happened. to her. She was like doing crazy stuff in the kitchen. Do you know

did something happen to poor Alicia? She works really well with kindness and if you're going to put pressure on her and be she. She gets frazzled. You're not going to do it. Yeah, you're supportive. I think everyone's like that right? Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't work well with kindness, but I

know that people do. Like, you know, I get it. Like, I don't drink gas, but cars do, so I support it still. So there's a rumor on Reddit actually that Alicia is not even Alicia, that she's actually her twin sister on this one, and that's why they don't look

that much like, and I'll tell you something, Alicia's twin sister's even crazy. All right, so that's out. So have you been doing since the show? I've been resting. Have you? Right on. Yeah, I took a little bit of a break from the yachting industry, and I'm actually really, really loving it.

Really? What are you doing instead, aside from resting? I'm basically turn into a Jewish housewife. Oh, I love that. I love that. Member of my tribe. It's been cooking three meals a day. I got a kitten. I actually have a life. Nice. That's crazy.

It's been really, really nice. Oh, my God. You deserve it. You deserve it. Serena breaks down. All right. Well. I'm taking a break. Okay, so let's go through these below-deck moments. Most below-deck moment with Serena.

Oh, okay. Well, here, I'll tell you, and then you tell me if you have opinions, okay? Okay. So the first one, drunk lady screams at Democrats before Captain Kerry traps her in a room. Below deck.

That's a picture of me this morning. I feel like an all-inclusive hotel I would be exactly the same. Joe makes out with Kizzy while V is sick and alone on her birthday, which is also the one-year anniversary.

of her boyfriend's death, below-deck men. That was bad. That was bad. Kyle has sex with a stranger on the floor of a bathroom stall. Below deck. Well, I'll tell you something. There's not many places to get down and dirty on a boat. And there's been some very imaginary places that people do it. And I actually think of my season, Culver and Jamie,

who went into the dirty bill, which was probably the worst one. Oh, I forgot about that. Where's the craziest place you've had sex on the show? On the show. Yeah. Have you not? Yeah, in a bed. You're like me.

I'm crazy. You want to have sex in the bed? Missionary. Next nominee is Max Pets a Jellyfish, then touches his eye below deck men. And then this. And this is one I think none of us will ever forget. The poop shower from below deck med. Waffle stump.

I'll tell you something, though. That happens in normal yachting all the time. Does it really? It shouldn't happen that much, but it does. Really? People just poop in the shower? They really, really do. I think they just think, we have money and we can do what we like.

Yeah. Wow. All right, so what would you pick out of these? I think poop in the shower is probably the worst. Yeah, that was my. The poop shower, the waffle stomp, that to me, that stayed with me. That was the most below-deck moment for me.

All right, the winner of most below-deck moment. Drunk ladies screams. Yes, drunk ladies screams. Democrats. Chef Serena, we love you. Thank you, Chef Serena. Your best show on Bravo, best show of the year. Housewives of Miami, which if Bravo knows what they're doing, they'll bring back to us very soon.

Welcome to my narcissist party. Finally, someone's like throwing a party like I understand like. This party is not about you, Larsa. You're such a narcissist. See, this party is like about me like... This party is about Todd. You dinglings. But like, when is there going to be a party for me, like?

This is very narcissistic, Larissa. Very, very narcissistic. Are you guys confusing me on purpose, like, why does everyone keep calling me that and saying it's not my party, like? Oh, well, you know, like Todd is a narcissist, and he broke up with me and never let me talk to him again, ever. All right, ladies, let's throw a tramp, so Alexia can forget time. Wait, can Todd come?

No, that's the point of the trip. It's supposed to me love time. But I love him. I love Todd. Oh, he's a narcissist. How dare you call Todd a narcissist at his own narcissist party? Yes, me. I'm Stephanie. I'm new, and I'm rich, and if you're not nice to me, you can't fly on my private plane.

Adriana. Oh. Why don't you fix your wrinkly knees, you old whore? Anna, behave yourself. You're acting like gut. Kiki put my age on the cake, stopping ratchet, Kiki. You are too old to be talking like that. Oh my gosh, she called me old. But you called her a ratchet.

No, I did not call a ratchet. I called her a ratchet, like the tool. That doesn't make sense. I called her a hatchet. No, you did not call her a hatchet. I called her a palachetcher. That's not even a word. Okay, well, you're a narcissist.

You're a narcissist, Adriana. Oh, so now she gets a... It's a party too. And seen. Real Housewives of Miami. Kind of rooting for that show. You know, that show doesn't get enough respect. They're spreading rumors that they're going to cancel that show.

Don't you fucking try it. Don't do it. I've actually gotten out to protest a little bit more the past couple of years, I would say. Because, you know, the world. But you will never see me protest like you. do if you cancel that show. I'm warning you right now. That's right. Well, our next guests we love because there's so much legal shit on Bravo at all times that we're like, hey, is that illegal? Hey, what's to deal with that lawsuit? Thankfully, there's a podcast to break it all

down for us, and she is one of the co-hosts of it. Please welcome from the Bravo docket, Sessie Overs. Sassie! Cessie, we love you. Love the Bravo docket. Love you both. Love you too, Angela, wherever you may be in Texas. So, Cessie, how's life going on the bravo docket? What is the law thing, the legal thing that is taking up your brain space right now? Probably Wendy.

Wendy, yeah. So what do you think is going to happen? In my legal opinion, which is my opinion, she's guilty as shit, guys. Oh, no. Sorry. Well, I mean, as my opinion, as someone who reads emails that are published, same. Yeah. Sorry.

What do you think is going on with the Erica Jane stuff? You know, this season she's back talking like, oh, my God, they tried to get me there all that to get me. I'm like, well, yeah. And Kyle's like, she doesn't have the money. Well, no shit. She spent it all, guys. So she's got the one of the bankruptcy trustees suing her. And then what's going on with the Marco Marco one, do you know?

Oh, man, Marco Marco's still going. She really fucked those guys over. I know. Really fucked up. So how's it looking for her in these cases? I think she's going to get her moment. Yeah, it's coming. Wow.

Interesting. She's done a pretty good job of rehab. So it'll be interesting to see how we react. Because a couple of years ago, I was like, take her down. And I'm like, no. She's great. Love her. Love her again.

Just keep chanting. Plain crash victim. Yeah. Clean crash. Yeah, for sure. I know. Keep in the game. Keep your head in the game. I will remind everyone. Gas explosion.

Gas, ex. Okay. So naturally we have you here to present the award for Best DJ of the year. I'm just as qualified as them. I have a Spotify premium membership. Absolutely. Let's go. Yes, true.

Okay, so to read off the nominees for Best DJ. DJ Maddie Rees, from Southern Hospitality. Probably the most qualified. Yes. I mean, she opened for James Kennedy once, so, you know. Derinda Medley.

Probably the least qualified, but no one wants to tell her she's bad because they're afraid of her. And nobody want a glass to the face on that one. You just do it. Meredith Marks, Real Housewives, the Salt Lake City. Winky, wiggie. Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, bitch.

Probably the only DJ to wear a blazer. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yep. Maybe me next. Who knows? Randy the Butler, Southern Charm. Yeah.

Yep. Very qualified man. He's probably the best, and he doesn't even know how to use a computer. Yeah, Randy. It's just record. It's the actual records, but he does it old school.

Yeah. Rightly Burris, next-gen, NYC. Yeah, all right. I want to say something about this category. I want to say something. Those are the nominees. When I was showing Ronnie that these were the nominees, you went, oh my God, did we forget to nominate Kyle?

The answer is, none of you guys voted for Kyle Cook. He was there, and he literally came in last in the qualifying round. our poor Kyle. Y'all hating Kyle. After we as a community destroyed his marriage Oh, he did that himself. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not taking responsibility

for that. If I destroy a marriage, I will put a sticker on the back of my car with pride. Okay, I had nothing to do with that one. Okay, who do you think? Who are you going to vote for? My vote's for Meredith. She gives out caviar bumps. Where's the

Blazer? Yeah? It's very low energy, probably on Xanax. I love it. Exactly. I'm going to go for Meredith just because I really like Meredith and I think she had a shitty year. And I also am impressed with how many people she's pissing off across the country. There's always

a Reddit thread. Like I got fucked over at a Meredith Mark's show because I paid for a VIP and someone spit a bugger in my eye or whatever it is. You know? I'm like, this is really impressive. Yeah, I'm going to go Meredith Marks also just because she's an icon. I'm not.

Best DJ. The winner is... The winner for Best DJ is... Meredith Moore. DJ Meredith Marit. Oh, dear you. She did it. Sessie, everybody.

Sessie, thank you so much for coming. Talk it with Sussie. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Next up to present the award for best fight. Oh my gosh. Oh, we love this woman from the morally corrupt podcast, Rachel Lindsay. I heard back that ass up and I was like, keep going.

Thank you for not saying Bachelor, but that too. Oh, my God. You're always so beautiful. It's crazy. Yeah, I never know how anybody feels about, like, the past in general. Just in general. Do you litigate the past on this stage? Yes, we do.

You can do whatever you want. Like, if you say The Bachelor, some people are like, we don't talk about it. that anymore. We talked to Joanna Krupa once on a podcast, I don't know, some recap podcast, our podcast, but she was like, I'll talk to you about anything except Real Housewives. Oh, I'm not Joanna Krupa and, like, be gone.

Like, thank God she's out of Miami, it's thriving without her. You can ask me about my past, it's part of my story, you know what I'm saying? Love it. That's right. I love that. Yeah. Well, we're really happy that you're here because Best Fight is one of the most important categories. It defines Bravo.

Verbal or physical? anything anything whatever any sort of clash how have you felt about bravo lately do you have any favorites of what's going on any shows that are really like speaking to your heart speaking to my heart I mean you just like we keep referencing Miami Miami is gold yes Miami is amazing

I think it's a telltale sign that they ripped it off a peacock and immediately put it on network because it was like what are you doing Miami's great Potomac ended great It ended great. It ended great. I loved Potomac this season. It ended great. Like Colorado saved it.

Oh, it did. I thought that the Colorado, I thought the season finale was so amazing. I thought them just driving around that state for an entire hour, while a timer could take down to them to go to the airport. It was perfect for me. I travel around a lot with Ben, and Ben loves nothing more than proving somebody wrong on a Google map. loves it

you'd be like but there is a gas station two miles in the other direction so it was perfect no no no it saved the season Potomac's great Miami's great

what else am I loving right now Summer House is great right now how do you feel about the new people on Summer House I'd like to the new people are fine we don't know enough to talk about it

but like you know how we were singing the song like what would Jesse Solomon do we have to rewrite the lyrics It's what happened to Jesse Solomon. Yes. Like, what happened? It's he's failing us. I could go on a whole rant about Jesse.

I don't know what happened there, but it's... You know, Jesse Solomon has sucked for a long time. He's not here. He's about to be a fight category up here. He's got a good way of making you forget. Like, he's got enough charm to be like, eh. And then you forget the last year and all the fuckery he had going on last year, too. The fuckery is present this year.

It is. There is no charm for me. And I think also now he's like being a Spotify singer. And it's like, well, I think we just had enough. Yeah. Like, it's, that's what, you've gone too far. The fact that it says, Jesse Solomon, musician, I just, I'm not supporting that. That's what it said?

It says that, yeah. So let's move on to Best Fight. Will you please do us the great honor of reading the nominees in this prestigious category? I'm so honored to be reading Best Fight. I feel like I'm so qualified to read the nominees. Okay, first up, Adriana and Marisol's Inter-Yot argument. Real Housewives with me, Miami. The cash,

the second up, Cash tries to confront Emmy about Will's Southern Hospitality, which is a season-long fight. I mean... Take that image in. If you don't watch Southern Hospitality, look at that.

Look at that. It's the whole season. That's the whole season right there. Third up, Cole McBee v. A Hill, McBee Dynasty. I don't watch MacBee Dynasty,

who's fighting with an inanimate object, I'm down. That might be my boven. He literally punches a hill. Crying. I've heard enough. A garden part, or next up, garden part party fight. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, sorry I'm four shots in. That's okay.

We appreciate it. Next up, Georgia and Charlie fight about Bluetooth speakers on next gen, NYC. Too good. Next year. It doesn't get enough. It doesn't get the credit. I love that fight. You know what's coming up next.

Haitian mortician fight, Real Housewives of Miami. And last but not least, the whisper fight of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Classic. All right, who would you pick? I mean, you're never going to hear the words, Haitian, Haitian.

You're right. Guys, I've had four shots. Forgive me. That's if the Haitian and the mortician were dating. That would give their couple name. Haitian, mortician, fight. You're never going to hear. hear those words again in a sentence. I have to give it to Real Housewives of Miami.

Yes, the most unique for sure. God, I love that show. Please don't take that show for me. Okay, here you go. And the winner. Did you have a guess? For best five. Oh. I say, Haitian. That's a new word. I'm with you. I'm with Haitian mortician. No, hate tition. Hey tition. Hey tition. Honestly, I'm also, this may be shocking. I'm also just, you know, I'm well documented on how much I hate the McB Dynasty. But Cole versus Hill was pretty good. Okay. All right.

And the winner is the Haitian mortician fight. Haitian mortician. We will never have another. Killed it. Rachel Lindsay. Rachel Lindsay, thank you so much. What's crazy, by the way, is that I will say that second place on that was the whisper fight by, it lost by 12 votes.

Every vote matters. What was it? Whisper folk. Oh, wow. A whisper fight. Okay, and next up for Best Show of the Year, Married to Medicine.

Married to Medicine. We are gathered here today in this big lot's parking lot to introduce you to your future Congresswoman for District 19 Heavenly Times. Mm-hmm. Thank you, Quod.

This is Quad Lunsford, everybody, ladies and gentlemen, Quad Lunsford. Great job, Quad. Great job. Lunsford. I, I, I, I left that man ages ago. He disrespected the core of my very soul. All right, well, Quad Webb, everybody, Quad Webb, everybody, the most respected woman in politics. That man tore my heart out of my dress and served it up on a platter for breakfast.

All right, take a seat, Quad, you're just a campaign manager. robbed me of my innocence, stole my peace. Hello, citizens, hello citizens. I'm Heavenly Carms. I'm here to represent all of our needs in the government and our mouths because I am a dentist as well and a wig seller. Now, are there any questions on dentistry, government, or wigs?

What do you plan to do about the state of the justice system in our city? Mama needs a justice system. Uh, how are you gonna be a congressperson when you curse people out all the time? At least my husband doesn't have a tiny dick. Shut the fuck up, Toria. See, everyone? See? She can't be the president.

Your mama can't be president, Toria. Shut your goddamn mouth. As a doctor who sells vibrators, I would like to remind everyone that we are sisters. I object on the grounds that that man took my confidence. He put it in a blender. He made a smoothie out of it. A smoothie I demand respect.

See what the polls, everyone. Married to medicine. Oh, Heavenly, please never leave my television. Please, I love you so much. Now, to present the award for Best Travel Drama, a friend who traveled very... far and wide to be here. Elizabeth Day, ladies and gentlemen,

author and podcaster, come to me, Elizabeth. Welcome to me. Recently seen on Watch Rapids Live just two days ago. The beautiful Elizabeth Day. You look incredible. No, sorry, I'm not having that.

You look incredible. Oh, stop it, stop it. I know that 95% of people here won't know who I am, but all you need to know is that I was once informally approached to be a real housewife of London. Oh, why didn't you do it? I didn't do it because I love watching these shows so much that I didn't want to see how the sausage was made.

And I'm extremely conflict avoidant, and I just couldn't take the heat on social media. No, you are. They were to really even you up then, huh? I want so desperately for Bravo to bring Real Housewives of London stateside because we watched the first episode, and it was like chef's kiss, it's what we need? Is it the rest of the season as good as that first episode? Yes.

In the first few episodes, there is a cat fight over dentistry. And that for me is just like peerless real housewives content. You also have a new... And it's child, it's child dentistry, right? It's child dentistry. One of the kids went to the dentist. That's right. Yes.

And she's like, I wrote a Google review about it. Don't mention the children. And you also have a new book out, right? One of us? One of us? Yes. One of us is like a mash-up of the talented Mr. Ripley succession and the OG Real Housewives of New York.

That's so good. Everyone better get it. So we have you here, Elizabeth, for a very, very important category where lots of intrigue happened in the world of Bravo. This is the category of, best travel drama. Are you ready?

The nominees for best travel drama are Kristen Doughty acts chaotically while Luke tries to repose to her on a boat The Valley. By the way, I just love hearing your British accent say Kristen Doty. Kristen Doty. It's like I've never heard Kristen sound so elevated in my life.

Kristen Doty. Lisa Hoxton arrives two hours late to Sprinter van. Real Housewives of Miami. No. Meredith Marks has unconfirmed emotional reaction on flight while watching

Crazy Rich Azenge, or did she? Real House of Salt Lake City. It's an emotional movie. The season finale roaming around Colorado, Real House of Potoma. And finally, Stephanie oversees private plane logistics, Real Housewives of Miami.

All right, so what's your, oh, Stephanie getting some booze? Or logistics. I'm not sure what. Logistics getting booze. But fuck logistics, I've had it. What would you say? What's your vote? I have a tie between the roaming around Colorado because those were three of the best episodes of reality TV I have ever seen.

And when Angel was like, the experience is still available to you. And they had 10 minutes to get to the airport. And I was freaking out, because I'm someone who likes to get to an airport at least two hours in advance of my flight. And I was like, they've got the flight departure on the countdown, but they don't have the check-in time. So that was stressing me out. Me too. Oh, my God. I was like, is this when they have to be at the airport?

Is this when they have to have check-in, or is this when the plane leaves? Exactly. Okay. And the joint equal is Meredith Marks has unconfirmed emotional reactions. Because in a way, that has shaped so much of the culture of our last season of reality TV. But before we announce the winner, can I just say, we are here at the most incredible award show of the year? Yes. Forget the Oscars!

Okay. And everyone else is getting an award, but I want to give an award to you, Ben and Ronnie, because you mean so much to me personally and so much to everyone here. You bring us so much joy. You make us feel seen. You make us feel part of a community. What you do, you make it seem effortless,

and it's so hilarious and joyous, but I can only imagine the amount of work it actually takes. And I just want you all to give it up to Ben and Ronnie. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers, everybody. Cheers. Thank you.

I couldn't do it without Ronnie. I really couldn't. You too. He's the best partner. That we're the best ever? No, she chose me. She said Ronnie, Ronnie went out of Ronnie and Ben. I choose Ronnie.

I would also choose Ronnie, and I would also, best travel drama, I have to say, partially because it was actually filmed, I'm going to say Colorado Potomac. Wow, you all are crazy. I mean, that was fun and everything, but you're over. selling that. It is Meredith Mark's on the plane. Are you kidding? That is going to shape TV for the next decade. Whitney's going to be talking

about that in the old phone. And can I just say quickly that I've watched Crazy Rich Asians on a plane and I can't remember the ending? Am I hooked on Ben Zend? Listen, someone finally got good at Mahjong. Yeah, it's Mahjong. Yeah, Michelle Yo is fabulous. That's all you need to know. All right. Here you go

as the winner. The way to help you. The way, how do I have an envelope on me? Those nails. Those are incredible. Are those like tiger's eye nails? Those are tortoiseshell nails. God, that's beautiful.

All right, the winner for best travel drama. Emotional reaction on flight while watching Crazy Rich Asians. Yes, Meredith says Elizabeth there. Is it this? That feels right. Okay. Yes, this one. In a ceremony held earlier this evening,

we awarded things that just couldn't fit tonight. so please. In a ceremony earlier this evening, we would like to congratulate the winner for best vote. Troway vote. The Bill Gates Awards for Excellence in Charitable Giving goes to Brit Eadie for donating

one pack of toilet paper to hungry children on a real house of Atlanta. The best tasting substitute for a personality, Adams Tabuli, on the Valley Persians style. Tabuli The Because we didn't have a category

For Most Terrifying Mother with the Psychiatry degree award Reba from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Business least likely to gain A single customer after being featured on national television Wonderland Outdoors The Real Housewives of Potomac

Congratulations to all of the winners Congratulations, congratulations. And now someone is here to present Best Scandal, who was actually involved in one of the best scandals of the year. And I think a lot of us are still pretty pissed about it. Please welcome to the stage. The Gort, the absolutely fucking stunning. I can't even oversell that. Katie Janella from Real Housewives of Orange County.

There too. My lovely husband is here. There's Matt. He actually was better at shade than I was. But I will say I'm the artist formerly known as the only Asian on Orange County. Probably the only one there ever be. I was going to say, Katie, unfortunately, we are going to have you take a lie detector test tonight. Is it a real lie detector, though?

Not an actor? No. That was pretty shady. And then they found all the IMDBs of the lie detector people. Actually, I did. She did. She did. She did.

And she's, you know, an idiot. But, okay, listen, for my, for my payment for being here, I need you to do an impression of Emily because it's literally the best. What are you talking about her? Do anything like Emily? You have to wear jeans. How could you give me a size eight? I've got to talk. in my pocket.

Do you know what's great? Can I just say? Emily is talking about tacos all the time. And you know, the only housewife that has a deal with Taco Bell? Oh, really? You know a Taco Bell deal? You have a Taco? You have a Taco Contract?

I'm obsessed with Taco Bell. Oh, the best revenge is served cheesy. With a brand deal. Congratulations. Yeah, what's life been like now in the wake of all this madness that happened on your tenure with Orange County? Well, when I was fired, they called and said that I didn't fit in. And aside from Tamara, you're right, I don't, because I have taste and my husband likes me.

I have to ask a question. What's so crazy is that, like, when this whole, like, mailstrom started, it was because Tamara started it. And then somehow, though, Tamara's the only one that you end up being friends with. How did that happen? Okay, so when I was, I don't know if you guys watched, but the episode of Heather Debrose's birthday party, I was outside fighting with Tamara and I was getting her wrath, right? And I looked at my producer and I was like, you know what? I can respect her because she keeps the story going. We don't have a housewife

without Tamara, to be honest with you. And even today, she texts me today and asked how I was doing. And I offer her nothing. I'm not on the show. She's actually been very kind to me. Maybe she likes tacos. Maybe she wants my Taco Bell gold card. You're like, I have nothing to offer except tons of free tacos. You have to eat a double-decker taco. Do you really have a gold card? No, I'm putting it out in the universe.

I'm manifesting it. Yes, I was getting so jealous. Manifesting. Where's my gold card? Manifest. It's my moment. It's my moment. Would you ever go back if they said we want you to, you know what, we actually want you to come back

or maybe go to Beverly Hills or show up? Would you ever do it? Does the door still open for you to go back to Bravo if they came back to you? You know, this season, my dear friend Kathleen Martinez was casting, and she is an incredible immigration attorney, and I would go back if we could go together. Okay. Great.

Oh, wow, right on. Oh, and we'd have some attorney versus attorney. She actually turned it down. They called her and gave her the role, and she turned it down because she said, I'm never replacing the only woman of color that was fired. Wow. Oh, wow.

Right on. So how's it been, are you glad it turned out the way it did in a way? Like, did you, how do you feel about it? Because I don't know, some people, some people try that bullshit lie. I'm like, oh my God, some is it's better now. I'm stepping away. I was really upset at first because it was something that was taken away from me without my choosing and I'm controlling. But now looking back, it was probably best. You know, I feel like I went out on top. My kids are amazing. My husband and I love each other. And the fans have been so nice. So I'm okay.

Okay, great. That's good. Right on. Well, Katie, will you please read the nominees for Biggest Scandal? Oh, I hope I'm in here. Oh, yeah, I am. Okay. Okay, the first one is Adriana and Julia slept together.

Real Housewives of Miami. That was a thing. I mean, I record everything, I.E. Shannon. So where's this? Where's the footage of this? I know, right? Okay. Galena.

Galena maybe kills chickens. Maybe destroys cars. Definitely drives off-road McB Dynasty. These are all things that happened. She's actually so nice. I met her at Bravacom. She's lovely.

Yes. Okay. Georgia doesn't wash her hands. Ew. Next-Gen, NYC. Ew. Ew. Maga, Gretchen, Rossi's social media, R-H-O-C.

Bo. Bear a red hat, Gretchen. Wendy and Eddie arrested for fraud. R-H-O-P. I like Wendy. I love Wendy. She's so nice, and she's gorgeous. Even her mugshot is pretty. Yeah. And it's a shame, too, because Wendy actually had probably her best season on the show. I think everybody loves one.

Even people who didn't love Wendy before are like, I love her. You know, and then you go to Jay. or whatever. So that sucks. Okay, who would you pick? Well, I want Gretchen Rossi to win. Yeah, she should. She needs to be held accountable for something. Yeah, what do you think?

I would do for, honestly, I love Georgia doesn't wash her hands as a scandal. That was my favorite. I loved that. I'm going to go for the newbie here because I think Galena is an icon, and the mess that she got into in just one single season, especially like being a Russian American and coming here with nothing and working as a maiden. Look at her now.

She's the star of my life. She's earned it. Yeah. So I'm going to go as Galena. Yeah. The Oscar goes to Wendy and Eddie arrested for fraud. Yeah, that was a big one. That's a big one. Katie Janella. Thank you so much for coming here. Everyone give it up for Katie Janella. Why? Thank you so much. Katie Janella. Taco Bell. If you don't believe that Matt is one of the best husbands on the earth. That man is down there doing all of her pictures for her. He even has a light that he like, I mean, that's a good man right there.

They don't grow them on trees, that's for sure. Commercials. Here comes one right now. The scandal category. We have a lot of, I mean, we're just always getting scandals. I mean, we just barely got out of one. Well, that Jill Zarin thing, I mean, wow, that was a big one to happen. and Jules Aaron coming out and doing the whole, like,

Oh my God, that bunny? Like, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to understand this? Where are the white people? Turn around and look at the room you're in, you dumb. But it did make me wonder. I started to think about that show, the golden life that they're going to do.

And I had to imagine what it must have been like for Ramona when she got the phone call that she was coming back to television. Man, I would love to see what it was like when you were imagining it. Maybe you should sing about it, Ben. Maybe I should. Whoa, me to stay. But Bravo said I'm more tone deaf

than Luann's cabaret. It's a special place where women support women every single day. I'm having wicked dreams of leaving NYC. I hear the sunshine stay. It's where I gotta be.

I'm still hot and ageless. So caduce to me. Camera's coming soon. Let's grab the pinari-roix. Whoa! Where do I go? I'm an old rooney girl. Dancing at Moll. Having fun.

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in West Palm Beach. I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Old Roney Club. Old Roney Club. Don't-Five. left Bravo behind. Just because I've moved to E, you're always on my mind. I've got a lot on my mind, okay?

There's a lot of things going on in the world. It's a Super Bowl. Jill Zeran got upset. Bad Bunny. I saw a homeless person. He's very scary. He didn't have a job. He had no money.

I was like, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Get a job. Okay? Do something with your life. Okay. Ben, or Ramona,

whatever you are. We need to move on. Let's face it, Jill Zierin went astray, calm down, take a Xanax, Dorinda's here, okay? Well, Beth and N-Wao, I'm an old Rony girl, but I look younger than Avery now. I'm gonna keep on, keep on dancing at the old Rony Club, old Rony Club, one more time, old thing, old... So yeah, I think that's probably what happened. We know when Romo, I got that call. Yeah.

He wishes. E fucking wishes. Our next category is best villain. Biggest villain, I guess I should say. And here to serve the award is one of our favorite, most gorgeous men and very, very talented writer. Mr. Diallo Riddle. Diallo Riddle, everyone. Diallo.

Beautiful couture. Beautiful. Diallo. Good, baby. Check, check. Diallo, thank you for writing that wonderful Trader song earlier. Oh, no, thank you. And can I just say, obviously on loan from my friend Bronwyn,

can I just say that that song is amazing, your song is amazing? I mean, make some noise for the watch what happens. Crew, they are so talented. Thank you. Working with you guys this week, it was like being in theater camp. Like, I just, you guys are so talented. I'm just a big fan of your show. Thank you, Diallo.

We love you. Thank you, Diallo. All right, so what are you working on right now? What am I working on? You got some pretty good ones coming down the pike, eh? Like, professionally? Yeah. Oh.

Tell us, what was your inspiration? How did you get into writing? I was like, my wife and I have a babysitter tonight, so I'm going crazy. Get it a boy. A lot of booze backstage. A lot of booze out there, apparently. And, you know, I got to present best villain. We're in the final stretch here.

We're in the big categories. And we thought, like, especially because the character you play on Sherman Showcase where you've got that amazing eye patch, I mean, you have to present villain. The best villain I have coming up is I'm on the Amazon series Barbershop, produced by Kevin Hart. And I will say this, I play a prosperity preacher. Oh, okay. And that has been a lot of fun. I was trying to point to Amanda Francis.

Like Amanda Francis. It's like the barbershop version of Amanda Francis is your character. I love it. Bringing a little Beverly Hills. Well, congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm so excited.

This is such a fun category. I think, like, you know, let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's get the biggest villain. It's a really strong category this year. Well, first of all, let me tell you. I'm so sorry. Yes.

I have to say, Janet from the Valley. Ha-ha. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Got super pissed because she is included with a bunch of abusive men. Okay.

I actually will give Janet this one. We'll give her the credit for that. Because that is pretty shitty. But the way that it worked out, we just named a ton of shitty people. And America picked the abusive men

and Janet, basically. But maybe next year we'll separate out like the villains versus the pieces of shit. We shouldn't have to. have an abusive piece of shit category, but we probably need one after this year. So anyway, go ahead. Sorry, Janet.

Let's get into it. This is the nominees for Biggest Villain. First up, we have Aaron from Denise Richards in Her Wild Things. Boom. Right off the bat. Babe. Boom. Yeah, he sucks.

By the way, how great did Denise look on that recent episode of Beverly Hills? She looked great, didn't she? Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, here comes a good one. Next up, we've got Colton from the Traders. Strategic gameplay hits different when we know what we know. Yeah.

When we know what we know. We were trying to get a really good image of him with the pearls, but you know what? I know. Let's not. Oh, those pearls. Can I just say, though, that whole thing where Michael Rappaport was using C adjectives, you know, conniving, commiserating, Colton, it was just like, commiserating is not a bad thing, bro. A nun-drum. Cubic.

He was like, custodial, congenial. It's like, Michael. It was creative. That doesn't really work. Confabulation. How does Brown live like this? I know. I'm lovely.

This is. You know what? Fashion is pain. When God closes a Todd door, he opens a Rihanna window. That's right. All right. I love that. Janet Coperna, the Valley.

My sister calls her, my sister calls her the self-appointed hall monitor of adulthood. Yeah. And I love that. I love that. Uh-oh. This is one. Jacks Taylor, the Valley. An evergreen nominee.

Yeah. He's, Jacks has been in this category every single year he's been on television. He looks high there. He looks like, he looks like when personal growth is optional. You give drugs a bad name. So what is, what's your pick for Bestville or big, not Best. Oh, we got one more. There's one more.

There's one more. more. We got one more. We got the front door of Summerhouse. All right, so who's your vote? This is a tough one. I mean, obviously Aaron is the real villain.

There's nothing, almost nothing funny about him. The front you know, I'm going to think it's Colton. You think it's Colton? No, not because he is the biggest. I mean, like, look, the biggest villain is Aaron. But, you know, I come from a traitor's family. We watch traders together.

And it's like he's the, he was like the villain in terms of like storyline villain as opposed to like too real. It's like almost uncomfortable villain, right? Right. Sort of. Yeah, because then in a way you're kind of awarding like an abuser. It's weird. It's a weird position. It's a weird position we've put ourselves in tonight. I'm just going to put my money on the front door and be done with it. I agree. Front door. We vote for the front door. I'm going to go with Jacks because I feel like Jacks is the biggest asshole

but it's also been he's a person that we've been waiting to see go down for years. I mean Jacks has gone down many times. Yeah but this was good. All right. Well there are a million envelopes up here so I don't know.

We're a very organized award show. Here we go. And the award for biggest villain goes to Jack Taylor! Jack Taylor, everyone. The biggest villain of 2020 6. Congratulations, you fucking lose. He's not. He's not. Yeah, Riddell. We love you. I will accept it

in his dishonor. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Katie Cazorla. Guys are killing it. What's that going crazy about? Zach needs this award? It's like, give me that damn award. Zachary has stolen an award this year. Give him your email address. All right. All right. All right. Oh, appropriately, it's time for our fifth of six best Bravo show nominees. The Valley, the Valley. The Valley. Jax, you don't need to go to rehab.

I can't have our baby turning out like you. He wishes. He doesn't even have any Instagram followers. Get out of my house, Jacks. Oh, why do I have to go to rehab? Danny is the alcoholic. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a dad. I've got three under three.

You're drunk, Danny. You grabbed our friend's butt, and you told her, get daddy a drink. Hey, hey, that's not alcoholism, that's sexism. Give me a little credit. Stop being mean to Danny, Janet, cuckaw. I'm not mean. I'm fun. I had my birthday party at Dave and Busters. Hey, Instagram. It's me, Jax. Welcome to Jax Can. I'm in rehab and I need my son, you guys. Hold on, hold on a second. I got a call on the other line. Hold on. Jacks, what are you doing on Jack's Cam? You're supposed to be in rehab. I am in rehab. Then why is their techno music playing and what's on your nose? It's rehab powder. You guys, let's have a party to celebrate Bunchy. Wait, hold on.

I'm getting a call. What do you want? Hey, where's my invite? Jax, what are you doing on Jacks' Cam? You're supposed to be in rehab. I am in rehab. There's literally a stripper sliding down a pole behind you, Jax. So, strippers can be sober now also, right? This is my show. It hasn't been for the last three months.

Drop bitch. Hey, hey, Kristen, look over there. It's a dolphin. It's a dolphin. Dolphin! It's your mommy. Ciccah! Kristen, will you marry me? and live in Colorado with no running water or in. Oh my God. Wait, hold on. I have a call.

Jacks. Am I coming to the wedding? How did you hear about my wedding, Jacks? You're supposed to be in rehab. I am in rehab. Then why are you riding a dolphin? And soon. The Valley.

The Valley, ladies and gentlemen. The Valley. Okay. And next up, to present non-housewives show. It's Ryan Bailey. So good. And also,

Shane Bailey. Are you so excited? Also, I just asked Jason and Chris if they had their penis pump with them. Oh. Because it would be great to bring. No, also, it is so dark to watch you talk about Jacks,

and it's like the ghosts of Christmas future for those guys. I know. I know. It was weird. It was weird talking about Jacks. I got to say. So you have a baby coming on the way?

Yeah, four weeks away. We are due. It'll be our baby's first summer of Carl. S.O.C. Are you going to name your child a Bravo, like after a Bravo Liberty? Yeah. What is it? Sheena Marie-Marie Parks Vallette. Amber. Yeah.

Sheena Marie. Amber Parks Valletta Jr. Right. No, her name's going to be Romey. Not non-Bravo. Romney. Well, it's close. Romney. It's actually very close. It's Miami. Real Housewives of Miami. I got to go. You didn't even realize you did it. As Miami leaves, Romi will take.

the scene. She's going to come out and be like, work on your wrinkled, you old whore. My dad was always so weird. He would never let me be on a reality show. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think Romney's actually a really cute name. And we wish nothing but the best for you and Romney. Now you have to have a little Michelle. Yeah. Actually, and I know, by the way, I know everybody said this, but I went to the first crappy awards, like, for me, right before the pandemic. And I'd never seen anything like it where I was like, this is like a WWE wrestling match where I thought the audience, I was like, people are like tearing their chairs up and like,

so amazing you guys. So much fun. And Ronnie played a guitar. I met your parents tonight. Yeah, you saw, that's right. You got the whole thing. aging? Yeah.

Look how formal we all are. By the way, we're all sitting here in our formal wear. Normally when we meet up, we're all just sort of like schlubby, you know, and here we're like, and now we're, no, you're not schlobby. Where did you get your suit? Actually, at the fashion district. Oh, nice. Yes.

That's good. This was like a BravoCon suit, and I've already gained weight from BravoCon. Me too. Because we've been eating ice cream every night. Good for you. So I could barely fit into this. Well, we got us on our Amazon Live. Thank you.

This is a little Amazon Live purchase here. All right, let's do Best Non-Housewives show, Ryan Bailey. What do we got? We're going to start here. Oh, I read them. Yeah, it's all you. Next-Gen NYC. Southern Hospitality

Oh, here we go. Summer House. The Traitors. Four under four, the Valley. Four under four now. All right, what's your choice? Okay, I got to go Summer House. For some reason, I love that show so much,

even though it's in deep misery with Kyle and Amanda. Yeah. But, like, they could just, I could watch them make chicken salad, and I would just be in love. I love it so much. That is literally what you're watching. So that's good. You are watching chicken salad.

I know, I, what about, Carl's in the mix. He's in the mix, guys. Carl's in the mix. You might see me a little more. I'm in the mix now. Aw, a soft mix. So, Ronnie, what, I actually think that for my pick, this is a really strong category.

I mean, it's really hard because the traders just ended last night. We're all in traders mode. But if I have to realistically think about the whole year, I'm actually going to say the Valley was my favorite non-Bravish. And I'm not saying that because we have Valley people here. It was, I think, an amazing season. It was. Are you nervous about season three?

I'm always nervous about new seasons. Yeah. Are you? And not because of non-jacks. I don't know why. I don't know why I'm nervous. Are you ready to have Brittany date on camera? I'm so excited to see a new chapter for Brittany.

I'm ready for a different, like, I'm ready for like tears over a different guy. All right, yeah, yeah. Let's find out the best non-house show. What do you guys all think it's going to be? Follow me down into the dead. All the flowers bloom. The traitors! They're traitors.

I mean, it's amazing. It's an amazing show. Thank you so much. Ryan Bailey. We love you, buddy. Right, we're getting into one of our friends. We're getting to the real big categories now. We only have a few left.

Yes, everybody. We know you're so patient out there. Love you so much. Okay. Next up to present Best Bravo moment of favorite two judgy girls. Courtney and Mary. Two judgy girls, everyone.

Grab a chair. Oh, let me grab a chair. Here, take one. Take a chair. We'll get another one. Ronnie's getting the other chair in the meantime. Hi, guys. Welcome to the crappies. If you guys are not subscribed to two judgy girls, you should be because they're fabulous.

How is it going for you tonight. What a blast. I'm having the best time. Well, thank you so much for joining us. We had so much fun with you at BravoCon. Literally a dream. What was your favorite part of BravoCon, by the way?

Can we talk about Day Zero? Day Zero was probably the craziest night that we've ever had. Literally no expectations met all these Bravo Labs. I was like, I could go home now. I couldn't, but I could. Yeah. Was there a Bravo Liberty that really stood out to you that you met? Joe Gorga

He He double dutched for us Without the ropes He was my everything He's like You gotta talk to your family It's about the family Just adore him

Can I say something Last weekend We went down to Miami And some of you guys May have heard this But we went down to Miami And I was just sitting there On a lounger and who walks by

Are Joe and Melissa Gorga Was Baccarad following them? What did you say? Backgrid, the paparazzi? Oh, yeah. Yes. Seemingly, they're always having backgrid follow them in Miami specifically. So I felt very lucky.

And then the next day, we just ran into on the street, Lisa Hoxton. So that felt very special. That was like BravoCon for us last weekend. Wow. Where are the photos? Because I heard they're on her phone. Lisa Hoxstein took, we took a selfie with Lisa Hoxstein. It's on her phone.

We messaged her, hey, so great running into you. Could you send us the photo? And she goes, yes, loves. And that was it. So that's all we got. And the same thing happened at BravoCon. She came up and said, oh my God. Why you do my voice like that?

I was like, I don't know. She's like, let's take a picture. Let's take a picture. Never sent it to me. I mean, what the hell? Her face tune wasn't working that day. I guess. Her face actually looks face tuned in real life.

Like, I don't think she uses a filter. That's like Mora. Yeah. Yeah. Morra. Let's get into most memorable moment, shall we? Memorable moment, ladies, take it away, would you? All right, let's do this.

Adriana accuses Julia of sleeping with a Haitian mortician. It's of Miami. Jacks gets fired, goes to fake rehab, gets fired again, the Valley. Page dumps Craig Summerhouse. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake, city slash below deck down under crossover Sandival sings

doll songs over the phone the traitors that was ad-lib And finally Zach stands up to Jacks at Benjee's party The Vap Who do you guys want?

Who I want? I think I want Paige dumps Craig because why Mary? Craig is what? the biggest gaslighter on Bravo TV. Yes. I've said it for weeks now. Yeah. I like the Sandoval sings doll songs over the phone.

Can you please repeat that again? Yeah. All right, let's see. Terrify. Who the people voted for for most memorable moment. And the winner is, Adriana accuses Julia of sleeping with a Haitian mortician donating coffee maker. Oh, wow.

Adriana is killing it today. Big day for the Miami girls. Where's the sponsorship? Seriously. I know, right? Where's an espresso? Where is Mr. Coffee? Or funeral homes.

She's got it all. She's got it all. Courtney and Mary, we love you guys. It's up to you. Yeah. No, he is. All right, let's please welcome Jake back to the piano. All right, you guys.

we're very close the end of the show, but before we close out the show, you know, we would like to take a moment to reflect on those who are no longer on Bravo. And, you know, whenever we do this, we'd like to have something really special song because there's been a lot of loss this year. So today we have the beautiful...

Jennifer Tilly, everyone. You are the Lexi Gretcher Nikki Minaj hosting reunions Jacks Ellen Yacht Boot Denise's Lizard Masha's chickens Uni

Emily's stylist George and Omar Michelle and Aaron Yonan and Hudson Quad and King Sienna and Shep Ralph and the Upstairs Shannon, Lisa and Jody, MJ and Tommy, Bronwyn and Todd, Katie Janella, Uba Hassan, Jenna Lyons,

Paige Tesorvo, Marcel Beauvais, Kai Manda, Andy and Todd, Ms. Jennifer Tilly. We didn't want to add this into a jokey thing, but obviously we're heartbroken about Robert Cosby, Jr. So sending all of our love. Mary Cosby. Mary Cosby. Let's send it all from this room to Mary Cosby. Rest in peace, sweet Robert. Oh my gosh.

Jennifer Tilly though. Seriously. What a get. And also what a babe. It's our second biggest category of the night. And we had to bring someone who's been at every crappies in some form or another for the past several years. Please welcome to the stage.

The host of Love Island USA, Ariotamatics. What gentleman? An icon. Hi guys, we love you. So, life has changed quite a bit since the last time you were here, ma'am. How are you? The time we had the crappies in the most torrential downpour. Yes.

I will never forget that. What a time that was. They called it the L.A. Blizzard, and there were literally cars floating down the street. Remember we walked outside there were like cars going down the street? Yeah. It was also three days before. And Scandible happened like three days later. Yeah.

So it was a great luckier all the way around. So good to see you. You're killing it. Thank you. You guys, putting me at the end of the show has given me so much time at the open bar tab. Good for you. So it's been quite fun. Ariana, we feel like we are your aunts.

And we've watched you grow up through the years. and I actually think it's so amazing that you host Love Island now, that you went from fan to host. And on top of that, you're like a good host. Thank you so much. It's the most fun job ever. Yeah. And you're back in, you've been here for a couple of months now.

You've actually had a break because you were doing one after the other, right? You were doing Love Island at the Games. Yeah, then Games. And Games was insane. It was, I was there. every single day hosting challenges. And challenges, when you watch the show, it looks like it happened in maybe like two hours.

No, that's just like 12 hours sometimes. And I'm like, they're in snee. I mean, granted, they're covered in slime and making out with everybody. But I'm like, I'm in fucking heels, yo, for like 12 hours. And sometimes I get a little bit of slime too. Like, it's intense. Do they still have you do like the full, like,

dress and like glamor shots where you're walking really slowly and it's like here comes very on and you're like really slow takes 10 minutes to walk and do they still do that on games? Oh I love that I mean we couldn't not do it right? Yeah I have to do it I love when you say how the challenges take

12 hours the reason why I know that is because there was that one challenge I think it was that last year maybe where page de Sorbo was like a guest and it was like your guest Paige Osorbo and she asked like three questions like what would you well it's like the funnest thing you would do with your partner. She asked like three questions and then all of a sudden I was like

Paige de Sourbeau had to leave. I was like oh they were shooting this for eight hours and page is like I've got to go. I feel so bad because the the area where we do all the challenges is up on a hill so it's like wildly hotter than down in the villa and then she had to do like lumberjack theme so she was in swayed so like everything was just working against her in that moment to give her just a full-blown heatstroke. Was it surreal the first time you got into the villa and you were like, wow, somehow I went from being a fan and now I'm like somehow in charge of this? Oh yeah, absolutely.

I did a couple of guest hosts during season five. And when I first walked in the villa, I was like, oh, it's fucking, it's real. And they kind of just, I mean, they set you up for success, but it's, there's nothing that can prepare you for it because you can't do a dress rehearsal because the islanders are living in there and there's cameras everywhere so it's a little bit of you know here's a bit of the script here's a bit of what you're doing okay now go walk down this hallway yeah yeah yeah i was like i was terrified and those wood decks are not even i know and they put you in like serious hill yeah i have to like it's like you know that meme of riana and the heel is just almost

going through the New York City great. It's that every single time. Every time. It's heroin. Well, we have loved you for a long time and thank you so much for being here. Oh my God, I love you guys. Thank you for supporting us.

I love you guys so fucking much. This is, I know it's award season in L.A. This is the award show. That fucking matters. This is the one. How many times has she done this, though? I know. Honestly, if you've not been able to come, you've always sent in a video.

We've loved watching your star rise over the past few years. It's amazing. Every time, whether it's in New York or wherever, we are so proud of you. I love you guys. We still have to do our hot honey rag musical number one of these days. Hell yeah, I know. We're supposed to do it last year and you were busy. Look out. We did it anyway, though. We'll figure it out. Okay, let's read them off. Ariana. All right, let's get down to BizNap.

Roblo Liberty of the year. Oh, there it is. Okay. Gabby Windy, the Traders. I love Gabby. Gabby's great. She's so funny. Okay, Jennifer Tilly,

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's very popular. Okay, I think my personal favorite. Kristen Doty, the Valley. Seriously? We love her. We love Doty. Paige De Sorbo, Summerhouse.

Rob Rausch, the Traders. Love Island, USA. No. Is that Rush? Rob Rouse. Isn't it Rob Rouse? No, no. This one's Rush.

Stacey. Rush. Real Housewives of Potomac. Zach Wickham, the Valley. Wow. Wow. Bravo Liberty of the year. Who am I going to pick?

Who am I going to pick? Listen, my close personal friend, Kristen Doty. I can't not pre-Kristin. Yeah, Kristen had a good one. Okay, go back. Okay. Bravo Levity of the Year. I better hear drum roll.

I want to hear a drum roll. Drum roll, Jake, Drake. Thank you. I think Ariana should get it again. Yeah, Ariana wins. Wow, Stacy. Thank you very much. Give it up for Ariana Maddox.

I'm going to trip over my skirt. Close to living. Oh, they will be a spray painted again, my friend. I just got lucky on Timo recently. All right. And now for our final nomination for the best show of the year. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Welcome aboard Motor Yacht Catina. We hope to make you wit. Oh, you've already made me wet, Captain Jason. You had sex with Captain Jason?

Not sex. We made love. Oh, we didn't, though. To a buffet, we love eating as friends. I want to go to your buffet, Captain. The buffet is closed. Sorry, I'm late to the cast trip. Captain, we have a problem. A pool floatie is talking.

That's not a pool floatie. That's a lady. She's just wearing a pool floatie. You exploited the pool floatie. Uh-huh, uh-huh. It's called fashion, and someone, has been leaking stories about me. being a felon.

I didn't leak anything. Why is everybody always blaming me for stuff? So I'm friends with news corporations. I'm not allowed to talk to my friends anymore. If there's any criminal here, it's you, Lisa Barlow. You have lawsuits against you.

Case dismissed, case dismissed, Scout Dick Soccer. Lisa, you think you're better than everyone else here. Yeah, but so does Blake. So, you know what? Take it up with Blake lively then. Do you need her number? I have it. I have it if you need it. Wait, wait. Meredith got wasted and attacked Britney on an airplane. How dare you? You are this. We all sought Meredith, the entire sisterhood. You stabbed Britney in the face on the plane.

I was watching crazy rich Asians. It couldn't have been me. I am Greek. You started her on fire on the airplane. We all saw... Yeah, she was. I watched it with her. Kaisa Smus! Kaisa Smus! Oh yeah, you watch crazy, rich Asians? Then how did it end, Meredith? Well, the crazy one told the Asian one to stop talking about my husband. That was Rambo! Fine, well, the Asian one told the rich one that Britney is disgusting. That's E.T.

Okay, I'll give you a hint, Meredith. The captain fell in love with the Latter-day Saints Tell All Celebrities. That did not happen. He fell in love with her book, out now. Ding, ding, ding. What about me? Shut up, Britney.

And see. Real Housewives of Sondland. Well, everyone, did they quit? Did it break? Get back up here, Katie. Get back up here. What are you in a union now? You don't get a break.

Put your ass back up here. For the final. Bring presented by us. So take that. All right, guys, this is a big one. You have been the most patient crowd of all time. We love you. All right.

Let's get her done. Best Robbo's show of the year. Married to Medicine, Daddy. Next-gen, New York City. Real Housewives. Miami. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Summer House, all right, summer house. And the Valley. The winner, Bravo Show of the Year is Real House of Salt Lake. Much for being here. We look forward to seeing you in 2027. Thank you, Walter and Katie, the beautiful Jake, all of our

guests, and everybody here helping us out tonight, these gorgeous eyebrow twins. Chris and Jake, Jason, come take them out, boys. Thank you to hobby-loby. Thank you to Hobby Lobby. All right, Katie. Thank you guys for coming, and thank you all for coming to watch what crap is, the golden crapsies. Good night, everyone. Watch What Crapins, smell this, hop and smell this.

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Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gautier. Erin McNicholus. She don't miss no trickleous.

Hava Nigelow. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. K. Surrah, Sarah, whatever will be will

Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A-Fra from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McKinery. Aren't you glad it's Mary Ann Arns? Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. This is living. With Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman.

Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tibby. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Can I have a Cavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 Cs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manaw. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Low Alcalani.

Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince. Maximum love for Sandy Maximuska. She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafsun.

Shannon. Out of a Canon. Anthem. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys.