Watch What Crappens - #3266 Below Deck Down Under S04E07 Part Two: Disco Helmet Desertion

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapBelow Deck Down Under continues to up the pressure on Ellie and we’re all waiting for her to blow. In the meantime, Alesia gets even worse at her job and chooses sleep over work after having the deal with the stress of avoiding her boyfriend’s texts all day. If there’s a disco helmet of doom but no one there to wear it, does it even have power? To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

So there's wax everywhere, and Jason sees it. And he's like, oh, terrible. And then Ben is in the galley. And Jenna comes in. And he's like, there she is. What's going on? My little doll face. Sleep all right?

My alabaster queen. Jenna's like, well, with your laugh inside of my head, that's her sleeping. It's like, may, be the first of beddy nights, babe. So Jenna goes around and she sees that everything's a mess and she's mad. And she's like, what the fuck? Mike and Alicia, all they need to do with foul instructions. And I feel like I'm the only one that actually gets. And I'm supposed to have be days his right hand.

But right now I'm hung off that tweet. Dama, Tweedledama. Try to Dama, try to Dama. So she goes to the crewmats and Mike and Jowah are sitting there and she's like, What time did she go to bed, Mark? He's like, uh, 12, a 12, but I'm just asking because the butts are mess. But I only had an hour's break. Well, I only had an hour's break too.

We're all dead. We're running on empty. We're arguing with me. I'm just saying that he got to initiative to death lines, Matt. Jenna, don't start, because you have literally had no sleep. That's half here in the morning when I wake up at a dirty ball. But there's more people on this boat than just me. Okay, Jenna, what a great morning, guys.

Great morning. Great start. Great thoughts. People are sleeping mark. What the hell? Great thoughts. So in the morning, later in the morning, Jo-O and Daisy are hugging. She's like, I'm tired.

He's like, I'm tired too. She's like, oh, God, we're so hot. We're so we're meant to be together. And we find out, Jason gets a text that Ben is going to have a new mommy. The oven is ready. So Daisy's saying hello to Jenna, and Jenna, of course, announcing that the deck was, everything was a mess on the boat,

and nothing was cleaned up. There was wax everywhere, and there were champains that were still open and everything. So outside, Eddie's bitching to the guys, or Mike is bitching to the guys, and he's like, Jenna Cubs, she's like, I've asked you to do last night. You said, and I'm like, but I know, Debt.

I bet yesterday, I've got an hour break, and it's got 16 hours. I said, you know, this child got my head down. I'm crafted. I'm craft dead. You're still complaining? Meanwhile, she's got a boyfriend.

No one even cares about the boyfriend. When do people start to care about the boyfriend? That's what I want, no? Daisy can just sense that Mike is just nattering away somewhere. So she calls him into the crew mess. She's like, Mike, you're going to help me. The boats are fucking mess. There are shit tons of cutlery to put away.

He's like, but I just put all the cutler away upstairs. No, you didn't. I'm not a baby, Daisy. I'm just seeing. I know what I'm doing. She's like, Mike, the boats are fucking mess. But honestly, if I had time, to get the job finished.

Well, then, what's all the cutler are doing here then? Well, I didn't finish the job. But you just said, but you put that cut right away, Mike. No, no, the cutler in the bowl, like a film being used like an easy target for people to go, why is that not done? Why is that not done? But even this morning, I woke up and the first Jenna said, it wasn't that done? Because it's not done, Mike.

Got these people, how they argue. It's like, but I did it. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. But it's right there. I literally see it. Because I didn't do it. But that's what I'm saying.

Nuh, that's what I'm saying. I love the way Daisy just berates him. She's just so exasperate him. She's like, well, talk about all this, okay? But I'm fucking fuming about the way the boat was left. I don't care about the cutlery in the bowl. I just want it clean. It's like, but I'll get all the cutry.

Thank you, Prussia, the pot. So now Alicia comes to Daisy. It's like, oh, how are you? Listen, the boat was a mess this morning. She's like, oh, man, I can't tell you. I'm overwhelmed. I felt with the listener. I had my boyfriend was calling.

me. It's like, oh, God, listen, I left you in a good state, though. Like, all you had to do, there was no, there was no plates. I mean, there was just, like, you had no plates left to clean or cutler or anything. And she's like, oh, oh, God, are you going to cry? I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. And she's like, oh, I totally can't do. I just can't do any more than I could do. And I found I was crawling myself in the bed. I say, okay, okay, okay. Go get a coffee and take a minute. So, Daisy's like, well, I don't know what the fuck happened last night, but I really want to see that Alicia's about, I see that Alicia's about to crack, and I need her to keep working. I'm a firm believer you have to change your management style

for the individual, and Alicia's quite sensitive, so I'm nice to her, let her get a coffee, but Mike is an idiot, so I just yell at him, and that works a lot better, because with Mike speaking to me in that manner, no, sir, I will not be having it. Well, you know, you got to change your management style for everybody, so for Mike, I yell at him like this, Mike, and then for Alicia, I yell at her like this, Alicia. You see? Big game. So now it's omelets.

And seven omelet orders. And Ben's like, oh, is that it? I was expecting 12. 12 omelets. Daisy, we're going to do, okay, we're right now. Okay, ready, boo-boo. This is beautiful Hudson Valley duck breast and a chickpea spice patty. And also here's breakfast because the chickpea spice patty was my affectionate new pet name for Elliot.

Never mind. I'm moving on. I'm going to name. there's some fetter, give some champagne, breakfast is what I'm saying, I'm mid-breakfast days. He's serving duck breast for breakfast? I don't, I've never had that before.

Yeah. Why not? Why not? Amelette's a duck breast for breakfast. It's pretty intense. Where's my feta? Come on, bubbles. Come on, blondey face.

Get my bubbles over here. Get my feta over here for the breakfast. And she's like, Feta, but I just brought you the fetter. And she's like, where's the fetter? It's right over here. Oh, thanks, hon. Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Feta fema. Where's my fetta femas? So everyone gets into their whites. Elysia's spraying her marshmallow perfume. She's like, I'm going with baby prostitute this time. And they all line up to say goodbye. And Mecca's like, you guys, honestly, I can say my friends and I, we've done a lot of travel. We've been a lot of places. This has been one of our greater experiences. Notice that I didn't say. The best.

Notice that I didn't say the best. Okay, here's a tip. Bye. Bye. They leave. And simply the best. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. And now that the women have left the boat, it might be a great time to have this week's Fisherport, Fish Report. Now it's time for Fish Report. Blah-blah-lop. Below deck under a fish report, we start with the star of the show. The pufferfish.

What a sweet, adorable puffer fish. You know, last week we had this real drag queen of a puffer fish, but this is just like your friendly, you know, Wallace-Shahn puffer fish, who's like, hello there. I think it's just the same puffer fish. It's just last week it was shy. So it was like, I'm just someone with lips. You want to look at me? It was like kind of passing by like, oh. And this time it sees the camera again.

It's like, hi, it's me at the Pepper Vich. I'm so glad you're back to see me. God, thank God, you're not boring. It's even got like a little tongue. Look at how it's so cute. Really is. I love it. And I just, yeah, I think it's just adorable.

This is basically, it's out of drag now. It's like after the show. It's like, oh my god, do you guys see the show? It was amazing. I got so many tips. It's like, I know I'm really cute, but you guys, this is really hard work. I have to shave every day.

The 5 o'clock shadow is insane. Look, it looks like it has like stubble. It does sort of look like it has stubble. to say it has the Jennifer Tilley energy, but now that I see this double, I think it's not, it's just always waxing. But it's just, it's so happy. It's a Lebanese fish. It's like, I'm a Lebanese fish past 40.

I have to wax every single day or I look like this. But you know what? Doesn't mean we can't make out. Get over here. Great time. Great time. Just smile. It's a cute fish.

Look at this sad one. This one's like, I'm so beautiful, but no one loves me. Well, there's all these like goldfish. Yeah. And then there's this gigantic red fish with, with, blotches all over it and it's like I just want to fit in is it someone's like there's orange fish over there go to the orange fish and it's like god I feel huge here I just wish I had a peer group that respected me oh by myself the orange the little goldfish is like listen you just

have to find someone who loves you just need to find that one okay you just need to find that gossiping it's like oh my god that hey listen you want to hear something about the orange fish they're all orange she's a bitch but which one The orange one. They're all orange. Total bitch, I'm telling you. I really can't hear this right now. I'm just having a very rough day.

I appreciate you trying to raise my spirits, but I don't know. I'm just working so hard on my body. I just can't quite get to my goals. All right. Well, you try and share some gossip and you're not listening. I'm just leaving you now. Goodbye. Oh, it's always such a downer.

Lose. My favorite fish, the lying down shark. The Lying Down shark. The lazy shark. This is the second time we've seen the lazy shark. It's just sitting on. Just sitting on the beach It's like, oh

You know what? You know what? I think I want the lazy shark to get with the sad Beautiful fish because they're both like What is life? They're both in just in a sad state. It's like, oh God, it's always such a rat race. Or should I call it a tuna race?

Am I right? The lazy shark's like, I'm going to eat you. It's like, well, you'd have to catch me first, wouldn't you? I would. You want to just come down here and lay down? I would. Okay. Don't worry.

I know it's dark, but I've got nightlights for eyes. So just come down here. Relax. Oh, but aren't you, aren't you afraid? I would just embarrass you down there. I mean, I'm really not meant to be there. I'll just stay here in the dark, and I'll just bask in the reflected glory of all this beautiful little goldfish. Listen, I know you want me.

I've got washboard gills. Okay, I've been working these gills out. Look at those washboard gills. You could literally do laundry on these. Why would you ever be interested in me? I don't even have a single gill. Do these spots make me look fat? Do you want to hear some gossip about the goldfish told me?

me. Okay. So then we go over to, oh, wow. This is a stingray, right? You know, I can't really tell what it is. It looks like a ray, but it also kind of looks like it might be a weird shark or because it's not just a triangle. It's not just. It's like a stingrays. We're not just triangles. Yeah, they're changing it. They're like into body positivity now. Is that? This one's like weirdly shaped. And look, it has dots all the way around its rim. I know. It's like pearls. Yeah, I went to Michaels. It's like, I added some trouble. But it looks very concerned.

It looks like it just walked in on its parents having sex. It's like, um, today is off to a bad start. You guys, every party I'm invited to, they're asking me to open the bottles. It is, I'm just, I feel used. I feel so used. Guys, I thought we were dressing up today. I put on my little pearls. No?

We're not doing that? Harry-Stylefarl phase is over, John. Honey. Hey, guys, I found the Brillopad we were looking for. Just right here. I cannot stress enough how much the pearl lining is a door. Like the pearl trim on this outfit. It's so cute.

It's so cute. Also, he has real eyes. He doesn't have fish eyes. No, they're very expressive. Yeah. He has like real human eyes. You know what? The pearl trim sort of reminds me of like a Chanel jacket, how it's like, you know,

like has the line. Yeah, that's what's like. It's like the Jackie O of stingrays. But I really want to know. I mean, it looks. So here's, for people who are only listening, God help you right now. But it's like, it's got the face of a stingray. It's here as the general body shape of a shark.

But it also sort of has like a squid kind of look. But it's not a squid. I don't think it's a squid. Unless it's like a squid and we're just not seeing the back part of the squid. Because, you know, squids have that triangle. No, really? No, I don't think that's a squid. Do you think if I hold my phone up to it, I can,

do you think that the phone will be able to identify this fish? I don't know. Okay. Take a picture. We're going to search it. Let me tell you it was awkward about this fish. I mean, this is a good looking fish. It's unique.

It's got pearl trim. But it does blow its nose out of its eyes. Yeah. That's just, it's like you've got eye boogers and booger-buggers all in your eye. What the hell, bro? I kind of think it might be a squid. I think it might be a squid. We're just not seeing the whole squid.

So we're just like, oh, like, I think it, I'm going to say squid. Okay. Let's go to the, oh, my God, jellyfish racing a yellow fish. Look at this. This is just tremendous. I told Ronnie, I said Ronnie, because I watched this before Ronnie, I said Ronnie, there's going to be some jellyfish footage that you will not believe. This is incredible.

Look at that. They're just like two friends. Yeah. It's like frog and toad. It's like when they're young. It's like in a superhero movie where they're really young. They don't know their enemies yet. Yeah.

And the jellyfish also, I love, you know, you see lots of different jellyfish on the show. And this jellyfish has like the tendrils are kind of like the sort of confetti you find like inside of like a like a package you might get from the in the mail you know sometimes you get like sarah fun penis but sometimes you get like those like I think it looks like it's going to prom and it got crimped it got found the crumper they're an odd couple the yellow the yellow fish like got on top of a piece of coral and held up a sign that said prom yeah it's like my man may not know how to use a crimper but god what a big brain look at that brain it is huge do you think that maybe we might lose our virginity tonight.

I don't know. You know what? We don't look like a normal couple, but we are both see-through. So we've got that. I can see what you're thinking and you can see what I've eaten all day. Should we do a dance like a special dance? Oh my God, your dress matches your eyes. Oh my God. Thank you so much. You look beautiful. I love how you did your hair today. Ow! Sorry. You need to swim a little bit ahead of me. All right. Now we get to the person overseeing the prom. I'm like, don't get too close. Don't get too close.

Leave enough room between you for Jesus to stand. Are you holding a flask? Are you, oh, no, okay, just got to make sure. By the way, kids, we do have some non-alcoholic punch over here and pretzels. So be sure to get your snacks. The little boy I saw in the mall this weekend. Yes, I was wearing lipstick. No, I'm not at art.

That's what adults do when they're not in school. By the way, I was actually a goldfish at one point. But you know when you get older, you just lose your color. Oh my gosh. What is this? The crab. No, it's a crab. Watch.

Watch it does a little dance. The crab is like the crab is at the prom. And the crab is like too shy to dance. So the crab's like sitting at like in a chair doing like a little hand dance. It's like a little. Do the hands are baby. It's like I love a song. Do the hand drive baby.

The crowd's like I was watching you dance. Out of what? Your eyes are pink. The crab loves this. The crab is a little dance. Or the crab is also kind of giving like 1960s secretary energy. Like, okay, I'm going to write this down. Mr. Mushnik says, today the flower sails are through the roof.

What else? What's next? What's the next line? Dear gossip girl, two seethrued beings are dancing together. Love gossip girl. Okay, now we go. What the fuck is that? this thing. That's, I think, um, an octopus. What? Why do you keep thinking everything's an octopus?

Because look at the way like octopuses are famous for being able to change their colors. And this has such a striking color palette. This is like gold. It's like gold crusted. It has a green eye and then under it has like, what is that a weiner? This one was like, oh, the other, that strange squid stingray thing said we're going to Michael. So I kind of got the glitter cannon out and went to town. Look at the thing. It's like a talking weaner on the inside. Yeah, that's just like it's valve. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And I like it was wearing a little hat. It's like, well, it's prom time. So I thought I'd try out my new little beret. This is how they do proms in Europe, guys.

Guys, I just want you to remember, I am at prom. I did graduate. I still am wearing my graduation cap on top of my head. But love it. Yeah, this is, this is Bella and her dad used to work at Pepsi over in France. And so she's like, she spent like a year in France. She's like, yeah, guys, in France, this is how you look. Like, Bella farted again. Guys, it's my valve. It's just in my valve. Bella's so annoying.

She thinks she knows everything just because she spent a year in France. Yeah, guys. So in France, it's like a really big thing to put on like a blue bottom, but then like us, like a glitter top and then a hat. Yeah. Guys, in France, everyone has valves. They're really in there. It's just, oh, you guys don't have orange highlights?

Oh, sorry. That's what they do in France. This fish is so cute. It has the biggest eyes I've ever seen on a fish. I know. The eye is crazy. It looks like the back of this magnet that you put on the back of my phone. Yeah, but it's like allergic to gluten because look how red the eye is.

It's like, oh, damn it, and they're only serving sandwiches at prom. I thought it would be okay, but I guess I really am allergic to gluten. This fish went stagged to prom. This fish went like with everyone else that's like part of like the like computer club. It's like, well, it would be nice to be asked to dance instead of being asked if I need eyedrops. Do you think Jennifer Love Hewitt knows who I am? I know Jenny cards Look at this one

This one's so extra This is the teacher Kids Kids It's a lobster now It looks like it's a spiny lobster Yeah kids kids kids This room is off limits

Okay you have to stay in the auditorium This is a hot lobster but also terrifying It looks like a predator of lobsters It looks like it has metal legs It's giving some Heather to bro Lobster energy It looks like it's trying to reception on the entire neighborhood's televisions for them.

It definitely looks like a busy buddy, that's for sure. I mean, look how it's sticking out. It's like antenna or it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, hello, I'm getting all the news. That's like one of those contraptions you buy online that's like, get every channel on this antenna, you know. It did something fall on its head? Because look, there's a whole other thing that's coming from over here.

Is he fighting with another lob? Oh, there's another lobster here. Oh, yeah, there's like another lobster that's like, um, can you? You go. Give me some personal space. No, you go. Their horns are holding each other back. They're like, no, you go.

No, okay. No, you go. Oh, God. No, you go. Now, God, I'm trying to go. One of us has to cross the street. Hot lobsters. Just some generic fish.

Generics, basics. This one's cool. Yeah, I love that. There's always, there's always some fish that's trying to get away from the camera. This is the one that looks huge when you're looking straight at it, but then it swims away. And you're like, oh, my God. Golly. GLP ones.

This is like the equivalent of thigh gap for fish. Yeah. Oh my God. This turtle is like, could you stop shooting from under? How many times do I have to tell you? Please do not shoot from under. It's like I haven't washed today. You're getting all my dirt stains.

I just got off from the mines. I just crawled in from the beach. Can give me a moment for the surf to wash away all the sand stains? Basics. Basics. Basics. Basics. I kind of like that.

these are like the alt girls at the prom they're like yeah they're like smoking in the bathroom and they like came all in black and they're like we're such rebels but we still came to prom anyway and they have earrings in super weird places yeah yeah we got sideburn earrings and they're like wearing t-shirts for hole because like yeah we love Courtney love it's like really cool in the 2026 they're like we're into garbage there's just there's just just trying to hide it's like that's like you know, like, you know, there's always like that one family member that like does not want to be in the group picture. They're like, you know, you know when like when like when you had a camcorder, like you bust out the camcorder and like there'd be all the family members sitting around the table and you go from like, you just go from one to the next to next and like someone waves to the camcorder like, hi. It's like, oh, it's one person waves, one person waves, one person waves.

And then you get to like that grandma or that aunt or something that's like, no, no, no, I don't want to be on. You know, as if it's being broadcast across CBS. That's what this fish is doing. I think this fish is doing like, my mama was chubby, my sister was chubby, my daddy was chubby. You got about joke? And you squish your face. Oh, yeah. He's like doing the face squish.

That's a cute fish. Yeah, it does not want to be seen. He's got one patch of hair left on the front. It's like, just shave your head, uncle. Just shave your head. If you don't want to be on camera, why are you hanging around the set? This is prom right here. Oh, now we've finally prom is around.

All these different kinds of sharks from different schools. They're like, yes, we finally get to share our prom because we all go to small private schools. Yeah. Yeah. Like the boys school and the girls school finally have prom. Yes, we've got two sharks. It looks like there may be like a tuna in there or something. There's like this redfish is like in the mix.

Like there's all these fish getting up here. Yeah. And that's it ends with sharks like getting along. Sharks from different neighborhoods. And I think that's what we need to take from this guys. Look, and even our like laying down shark even got on. You can see because the. the gills the washboard gills like i made love to an orange fish with blue spots and now i'm alive

fish report fish report this has been the fish report okay so jason sits back down to read some feedback cards all right here it is the primary mecca overall experience five stars daisy was amazing are these common cards the best comic cards that's a conundrum. By the way, Elyce is stupid, she smells weird, and I don't want to fuck a marshmallow.

I'm going to have to talk about that. All-Crew, all-cru, tip meeting. Okay, charter number three. Ben, honestly, a sixth-course meal. Well done. Whoever's on night shift, I noticed pizza and stuff on the table. It's not acceptable.

And I think you guys need to step up. So the total tip was $28,000. And then, of course, he gives the helmet. She left pizza out. She left pizza and drinks out. That's insane. That's the easiest thing to clean out. Just put the throat in the trash.

Yeah. But I wanted people to eat it. He's like rats. Look, what the fuck? Put it away. I mean, I get if you're, I don't get it because you never go to sleep. If you're up all single night getting that list done, you get it done. And then you say, I'm exhausted.

I can't work today. Bye. Something. But get your list done. So no, I don't get that. But even if you did a lot of this and then went to bed, but you didn't do any of it. You didn't do any of the work. Yeah.

This is crazy. So Jason gives the helmet to Alicia. And he's like, don't leave stuff out for the guests. Stop leaving things out like a little rant. So Mike's like, I'm glad it wasn't me again. I'm like, that's because you already have a helmet. Yeah. So now it's going to be time to go out, but they have to do the boat.

So this is where Ben is like, oh, babes, please clean this, babes. All right. Sweet tot saliva. all right, I'll give you a late day tomorrow. She's like, oh, all right, baby, thank you. She's like, I guess, okay. And then we see him just pouring himself a gigantic glass of wine. And he calls Daisy, he's like, baby, can I please take the guest quarters?

I'm just knackered. I've had like four hours of sleep the last three nights. I just can't take it. I need a bubble bath and a lot. She's like, God, God damn it. So he goes, he gets himself into a robe, pours a big glass of wine. And he is just like, what is it the life of Riley? Is that what they call it?

And Ellie is just like scrubbing this. Got it. Got it. There was a woman who looked just like Riley, but it wasn't Riley. And she got mad at me this weekend because I was standing like, she was like, why are you standing so close to her? Why are you standing so close to her? We're at this concert.

And I was like, I'm gay. I'm not trying to do anything. We're at a concert and people just pushed us up. Yeah, I got pushed up into this person. And she's like, but why you got to stand? I'm just saying you're standing awfully close to her. I was like, I'm gay. And I agree.

I don't want to be in someone's personal space because that means that they're in my personal space. I'm shoved into her right now. What do you want me to do? Yeah, why don't you fuck off, lady. But if it happened real Riley, I'd have been like, yes, you're the best icon. But like you were fake Riley. Got it. I'm close to you.

Got it. Fake Riley. I won't hear it. So Ben, he is probably this point. Ellie has, there's a huge galley. That's just a total mess. And, I mean, she's just slaving away. and there. Everyone else on the boat is done with their work and she is still cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. And it just sucks for her. Like, it's just not right. I mean, if I were Ben, I would, like, you better be paying for her dinner tonight. You better be doing something. Yeah, right. Right. Or you should just be helping out in the first place. Um, so everyone else is done for the day. And they just keep cutting between Ellie cleaning and Ben like making a bubble bath with classical music playing and just luxuriating.

and so Ellie finally goes to bed and Daisy's getting ready to go out and she's like, oh but you know I just see him and I'm working ass off I see Ben and Bathrobe just walking out the door so I've been cleaning up again on my entire You know what? I'm being exploited I'm being exploited

Cleaning part of the job and we're one team when we work together We work together equally hard I'm already at my limits just managing all of his mood swings And for him to leave me to work on my own, instead of being able to march genetics with Joao, is very close to pushing me over the edge.

I'm doing my best to remain professional. This is like, oh, I can see your wearing then. It's very subtle, so I'm glad you can see. It tastes like, I think I'm picking up here. I know. But you might be wearing down. I'm going to kill Ben in his sleep, that stupid matter of her. You know, you may be getting angry.

So Alicia now decides it's time to call her boyfriend. So she calls and he's like, hello? She goes like, hey darling, just want to say that I love you and I was thinking of you. He's like, that's very nice. And there are a few things that I should probably talk to you about in terms of what life is like on the boat and stuff. He's like, what? Oh, no, no, no, nothing. It's just I think, well, you know, because I'm quite flirty character and like, you know I would ever, would never ever do anything, right?

And it's like, are you saying something else? No, no, no. I'm just saying, you know, they know that if I flirt with them, that we're just having like quick banter. But like, you know, I'm just like, nothing would ever happen just so you know. Nothing would ever happen. It's like probably like, what the fuck is. Yeah, it's like, well, it sounds like you're saying stuff but not saying stuff.

It's like, no, but yeah, I'm not just trying to make it sound worse than it is. But, you know, flirt, flirt, flirt, fuck, fuck, fuck, go up the nose. Took it up the nose. Had a weaner up my nose. But it's nothing serious. really. Just someone stuck their wiener in my ear and my nose took it in all my facial holes except my mouth. It wasn't my mouth. Every other, no big deal. I'm just trying to say, he's like, uh, I'm just trying to reel in, I guess what I'm trying to say is I've squashed

every bit of like anyone else's thought processes behind it. What are you saying? And Jenna's listening to, and she's like, oh my God, what am I listening to? Alicia straight up lying through her teeth. I feel kind of bad. The poor boy doesn't even know what he's dealing with. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Then they go to the beach club. And Mike and Eddie are like,

oh, we're just men, men with testosterone. Yeah. Mike's like, oh, I love a chase. Well, I'm good. I'm sure you do. Fucking weirdo. Probably chasing people all the time. I'm sure you've got plenty of restraining orders against you.

People like you don't need to chase. You need to learn how to. not keep keep 30 feet behind yeah so they're all sitting there at their big table and then ben's like allay come sit with me be away from those boys it's almost like this thing like well i know you cleaned up for me today so your reward is that you get to sit next to me i'm like okay great thanks so jason is on the yacht and he sees that alicia has left the helmet there uh-oh yeah uh-oh she should be fired for that that's bad i've been patient all episode with her. But this is to just be like, oh, yeah, I don't have to wear the helmet. No. Yeah. You're

fired, man. Yeah. Like, like, I'm kind of done with her at this point. Yeah. So he, um, he's like, not happy about that. And now Eddie and Jenna are sitting next to each other. And Eddie's like, so do you like guys who wear rings? She's like, yeah, I wish I had more manly hands. Yeah. It's a big insecurity for me. He used to be my legs. She's just like, ugh. Yeah, what everybody wants to hear like the guy's insecurities i know i've hated my hands used to also hate my legs show glad i played rugby though it's like shut up you wuss yeah uh i think she dodged a bullet with this whole thing and she she's like i hate my hands it's like yeah well when we're married in 20 years you're not going to care she's like yeah so she's like kind of warming up to him she's like well he said he hated his hands and boss

i like my boss bon or bar so she's feeding him spaghetti and um then alie he's He's like, well, I want to try your pizza. She's like, okay. And she's like, yours is better, something like that. They're like flirting. It's like this three-way flirt between food. He's like eating some of like, he starts flirting with Alicia right in front of Jenna. And he starts eating some of her pizza.

And Jenna's like, oh, you fucking get it, ma. At an least I should just bloody well be to go. Like, is it worth it for me fighting at that spot? And so she's like, whatever. So Jenna just gets up and goes to the other side of the table and sits down with like Ben and Jowow or all. all of them and is like laughing and having a much better time. He's like, you're so sweet. You know that?

You're just so sweet sugar loves. I mean, you look beautiful right now. She's like, goodbye, Salad. And Eddie's bummed now. He just doesn't get it. He's like, I'm just confused. And that's fun. You're fucking this up.

You fuck it up every time. Yeah. Just flirt with everybody at the table. Like, I get it. You're desperate. Okay? And you never get this attention before. But you got, if you get attention from one person,

save it, you greedy, you greedy, be worse. Yeah, seriously. Why are you acting so surprised? So then Jason shows up, and he's got the helmet. And he's like, oh, my God, look who it is. It is a person whose genetics I might want to merge with if nothing work out with Joe. So then he's like, never in the history of the helmet.

Has it ever been left behind? I mean, guys, come on now. What's you doing? And she's like, oh, yeah, whatever. She doesn't, she's just like, sorry. So he puts it on her head and leaves. And then they go, uh, wipe again, I would have fired her just to get it out there. So, because also he had to go down to your stupid dinner place.

Yeah. And you know, he wants to be watching Real Housewives of Salt Lake City right now. He's obsessed. He watched one episode. So like everybody else, he's got to watch all the seasons now. Yeah. I don't have time for this. So now they all go off to a club and Ben's dance with Jenna.

And Eddie is like, you know, alone. And Ben's like, after such a grave breakup, well, I spent $50,000 on a wedding, I didn't attend. Oh, God. I've entered this season wanting all avoidance of romance. And you know, that's going to be difficult

for me, being a romantic at heart being someone who bobs in his chair during his interviews. But Jenna and I do have some chemistry for sure, and it's actually quite refreshing to be a valued by the opposite six.

I'm just getting my mojo back. It is. Okay, so now Ben and Jenner getting drinks, Strauss dancing with Daisy, and he's like, I'm so sweaty. He's like,

oh, I'm so sweaty. He's like, but I'm sweeter. No, I'm sweaty. No, I'm definitely sweatier. You're pretty sweaty. You are pretty sweaty. Or as they say in Zim, sweaty. Zimwetti. So she's like, the more time I spend what's wild, the more he's more attractive. But, you know, I fall in love with my friends. And I've got to do that because I start losing friends because I fall in love and it's horrible and I break up and I only fall in love with terrible people, which means it's terrible, which means this has got to be toxic. And he's sweaty. I'm in. So Mike and Ellie are dancing, and he's like, you're bad

blues, which I hate that so much. I hate when guys say that to girls, ooh, you're bad news, because it's always you're the one who's the bad news. This is like, you're like war telling NBC News you're bad news. No, you're the war. You're the problem here, okay? Yeah, and just, it's just so like, ooh, dirty girl. Bad news. Hey, you bad, bad girl. Bad girl.

He's like, Larry from three, this company constantly, like some 70s gross guy, polyester and Amar. Seriously. So Eddie, Mike, Jenna, they all get into their vans now. Batul is, Batul does nothing this episode, by the way. She's just asleep back there. And so Mike is like, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, you're going to go to South America with me. You can look all sexy with the fucking Latinos, right?

And, and Eddie's like, yeah, not new to the same. as the South African girl. He's trying to flirt with Jenna. And Jenna, because Jenna's sitting in the back scene, she's like, whatever. She's all drunk now. And he's like, well, I just said that in the benefit of you. And she goes, no, listen, I'm not stupid. And at the same time, I know you're drunk and whatever.

And I don't understand the part. He's like, but I think you like it. If you like it, admit to it. Like, let's just try and make it work. Let's try and make it work for you and that. Yeah, because the thing is that Mike now feels guilty for gossiping because Jenna had told him either of this episode or, last episode that there's zero chance for Eddie anymore. So it's like, no, now I've realized I've

sort of impacted things, whatever. So now he's like, now I's like, no, I think you might like Eddie. And so Eddie is like, yeah, I was like, well, I like, Jenna. That's me admitting it right now. And Jenna's like, you messaged my roommate. And I love this moment for her because Eddie is like, oh, but I was taking the piss. She goes, oh, you're taking the piss. Did you not say I dropped Jenna like it's hot in order to get with you? He's like, I didn't say that. She's like, you didn't say it. It's like, no, I didn't say it. It's like, I know the fucking words. I read the text messages. Yeah. It's like, I read it. You dumb. So they were cuss because we had a whole conversation about it. She put it in words to manipulate the whole thing because she actually likes you and you

like her. And that's the fucking issue. And you put me in the middle and I'm not going to bear anybody's revenge. I'm not going to bear that. So shut up. Just shut up. You're stupid. That was nice. It was good. Because he's such an idiot. He's like, what? I never even said. You're not getting laid and get your little Muppet friend to turn around too, because Mike's just like leaning over the seat. Yeah. How are we going to make this work? Turn around. And Eddie, like, doesn't even have, like, even a defining quality that would make, like, even embarking on a toxic relationship like this be worth it if that makes sense.

Like, you know, like, if it's like a super, super hot guy, I'm not saying I'm not, I'm never going to advocate for someone to go into a toxic relationship. But I can imagine being like, yeah, but you know he's hot. So, well, bang him. Yeah, you were like, oh, it's really funny. Like, he doesn't, like, he doesn't even have anything, like, he doesn't have, like, a defining category that makes any of this worth it. And she's like, just get away from me. Like, I don't want to, like, no, you are not the one who drops me in a second. I drop you in a second.

Like, what are you talking about? You are, like, you're like playing Mario and Superman Brothers, too. It's just, like, the boring character. We need the princess or Luigi. Yeah, boo. Boo. Boo. Boo.

Well, fun episode, everybody. We will be back tomorrow with some... Summer House. Summerhausen. Okay, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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