Watch What Crappens - #3284 Ladies of London S4E05: Nouveau Riche Reach
Episode Date: March 27, 2026The Ladies of London split up for dual parties where Mark shows his claws and comes after Margo for being new money. The horror! To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad ...free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well, hello, everybody. Happy Friday to you. Welcome to watch what crap is. This is Rondell,
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Okay, now welcome to Ladies of London, season four, episode five.
Martha in the middle.
Oh, Martha. God, just want to say one more time.
It's funny, I meant it like, oh my God, but I said God as if I was addressing God.
But I will address God. God, thank you for this show.
This show is great.
So we start with shots of traffic and it's like, this is Dara, except it says, driving in London.
And now we find out what it's like to drive in London.
And Micah's like, I am a great driver in America.
I am a horrible driver in the UK.
By the way, I don't believe you're a great driver.
driver in America. I believe you drive slowly in the left lane. I believe that as well. This is a nice
change from the usual housewives teaching my teenager to drive and just watching an American tried
to drive instead. And it's pretty funny. And she's with a really low-key driving instructor who's
just like disgusted with her. She's like, God. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, I keep forgetting
the doors on this side of the door. She's like, oh, God, embarrassing. Awful. Die. Please die.
How did we lose an entire war against you morons?
This instructor is so polite that she won't even give Micah notes about anything she's doing wrong until afterwards.
Like at one point, Micah nearly like crashes into something.
She's like, oh, my God, I almost crashes to something.
She's like, oh, yes, I was about to say, you're about to crash.
It's like, no, as the instructor, you're supposed to say, stop, you know?
But what I loved about this sequence and what I love about this show is that these people on this show just lean in.
into being wealthy and out of touch.
And they're like proud of it.
Like they're like, oh, no, driving.
No, of course I don't drive.
Disgusting, you know?
Whereas like, if it was on the real housewives,
I'd love to drive.
One of my favorite things to do is go to a store of grocery
because I'm of the people.
And you're like, no, you're not.
But like, here they're like, ew, disgusting, no.
Put me in the back seat.
So they're asking the ladies about their driving.
And they ask Martha first.
And she's like, of course I drive.
I'm a terrible driver, but I'm
I'm a confident driver.
And they show her little pinto, like coming down the street with like smoke blowing out the tailpipe, you know, like, people ducking, thinking there's gunshots in the street.
It's like, oh, yeah, I'm terrible, but I'm confident.
And Mark's like, oh, no, you don't drive.
You sit in the back seat.
You make your phone calls.
You do whatever it is you have to do.
And then you get out.
Oh, it's just sounding like it's like pooping.
It's like, oh, God.
I can't even believe I go through that human, that human custom every morning.
Emma's like, well, I take taxis and I walk.
And we have a driver to get to the country, obviously.
Like, I mean, what do you talk about?
Like, obviously everyone has a driver to go to the country.
Darling, even our rhinoceros has a driver.
It's another rhinoceros, which is lovely.
They keep themselves employed.
So, back to Micah and Nisha,
the driver, the driving instructor.
She's like, I've never gotten one speeding ticket in the United States of America,
but in London, if I get one more, I lose my license.
Whoa.
She's like, yeah, you need to stop back there.
She's like, oh my God, is that like a stop section?
Is that what all those yellow line means?
Whoops.
She says, I mean, they're real sticklers here with their rules and their etiquette and
their, I mean, the Brits.
I mean, wow.
I'm like, no, they probably just know that you're an American driver and are not going to give
you a lot of tickets.
they're probably targeting you just to get you off the road.
They're like, oh, God, we don't need another American
with their driving on the left,
the right side of the road, bullshit.
Give them enough tickets so they're not legally allowed to do this.
In this country, red lights mean green.
She's like, oh, gotta.
So I thought she's trying to do a 20-point turn
and the instructor's like,
you don't want to hit the pavement.
Could I get a ticket for hitting the pavement?
Technically, no.
but it is considered disgusting.
Oh, damn.
So now we go to a fish and chips restaurant
where Micah, Martha, and Kimmy are meeting.
And Micah's like, they're looking at some ketchup.
There's some ketchup on the table.
Micah's like, do you guys put ketchup on eggs?
They both go, no.
Oh.
It's just so weird.
It's just like asking if you have a driver.
The whole conversation is where they sit down
And Kimmy's like, oh, I love ketchup.
I just love it.
I'll put ketchup on things.
How about ketchup on my ride?
Yeah, she tries to open it up.
She's like, do you put it on your eggs?
And like, oh, God.
Yeah, disgusting.
That's like asking you put ketchup in your blog to blog.
Whatever.
So what have you been up to?
Well, I feel really tired today.
Martha's just like, do you?
Yeah, really tired, you guys.
My three-year-old woke up four times in the night.
one of those. Oh, three is such a difficult age. So you wake up with your children? Why are you living
in the same apartment as your children? Disgusting behavior. I just want to say, if I ever say
three is such a difficult age, it's because I'm just giving you a generic response to your already
very boring story about your children. More Blanc de Blanc, please. I mean, there's so much pressure
being an etiquette instructor and having children. Oh, my God. I can't. It's...
I can't with her strife of being an etiquette teacher in Britain.
It's so embarrassing.
It's so embarrassing.
Why do you go teach Greek people how to make suvlocchi?
I mean, you don't understand.
It's one of the most high pressure situations you can be in.
To be an etiquette instructor and to have children.
People think I have these perfect little beings that like don't speak and are like just wonderful.
You know all the British etiquette instructors are like, well, yes, that's how you do it.
He's like, but I can't.
I don't know how to do it.
Like, I have all the same issues as every other mom in America has.
Hmm, the key is mom in America.
Right, child.
See, no response.
In, you know, in Britain, we, this is how we do our improv.
Yes?
Notice there's no end.
Well, etiquette is really about treating everyone around you with kindness and respect and thinking of other people first.
I don't know.
to open the definition and uh micha's like guys well i've been working on get this it's a tv
show and it involves wait for it puppets and just kimmie's face it's just like her lip droops more
than usual so poppits you put mayonnaise on the poppet because let me tell you something if the
poppet doesn't have mayonnaise on it i'm not gonna fuck it so we see micah doing her puppet show thing on the
set and she's asking her a daughter. She's like, do you want to hear my voice for gibber?
It's like this. Hello, my name is Jibber! And it just cuts to the daughter looking at her like,
oh, mommy, don't you're terrible at this, because of course she's raising British children now.
Yes. She's like, oh, you're disgusting. Still putting ketchup on your eggs, are we?
Mommy, this is quite American of you. Could you please stop? So then Mike was like, yeah, so every
episode has a different theme. One theme is how to give walkie-talkies to someone. Another is how to
react when that person calls you cringe. It's a huge undertaking and we've been working on it for years,
years and you know, Kimmy's like, wow, so you've been working on a popa show for years.
Wow, well, okay, I don't really, I'm not often at a loss for words, but I think here I really
don't know what to say, so I'll just say, oh, that's a good idea for someone. Will it be wrong
to say that I would much prefer hearing about someone's brother getting shot 10 times in the street than listening to this.
Yeah, now this is not a man.
So, that's it, you guys have fun yesterday.
Yes, I had a great time.
Oh, it was so much fun.
Thank you.
And they're talking about the model naked painting ceremony thing.
And Martha's like, yes, I think Mark was a little surprised to see a penis there, a little Willie.
I was surprised when he started painting a hydrangea.
But to be fair for him, it was a really nice hydrangea.
It was a really nice hydrangea.
Yes, it was really nice.
Well, I thought he, of all people, might be into it.
Yeah, well, I think that, you know, I thought he and Lottie were a bit shy.
It's like, oh, yes, they were.
And I mean, like, she's pregnant, so you know how pregnant women are.
Disgusting, right?
Well, I was going to say, I don't judge pregnant women because they're in a whole different ball game.
As in, they're not getting a lot of balls in them, are they?
You just did a Kimmy joke.
Yes, I did.
So then we go to Missy's apartment, and she's got all these baked goods set out, and Lottie and Margo are coming over.
And Lottie's getting hot.
She's like, are you getting – Missy says, what are you getting thrush?
And she's like, flush, flush.
is something else.
None of that now.
None of that goes.
So she's getting her nails done for her gender reveal party.
And she's like, gender reveals are definitely more of an American thing, but they're becoming
more and popular in England because of, you know, TikTok culture.
And so everyone wants to have something to show, don't they?
It's not every day you marry Mowing Mertel.
Just wanted to say to England, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
We don't like the gender reveals here in America either.
And I appreciate you trying to have like a moment of cross-cultural understanding or appreciation or participation.
You don't have to do this.
You don't.
You don't.
Please don't do the gender reveals.
Is TikTok culture even a thing?
I was watching, I mean, still, because I know it is a thing.
But I was watching Secret Lives of Mormon Wives the other day.
I just started season four.
And now the dads are doing their like dad talk.
serious business. And so half the episode is the guys being like, dad talk. We got to talk about
dad talk business because women don't own TikTok. I'm like, oh, yes, they fucking, you better get
your ass off this TikTok. I'm never watching this again. They couldn't get me to delete TikTok with all
of this that they've been saying. Like, they're stealing your information. They're, you know,
they're making AI videos out of your face or whatever the fuck they've been telling us for the past four years.
But now I'm gone. I'm deleting that shit. If I have to be subjected to dad talk, I'm out of here.
Yeah, TikTok culture is not about that.
That shows Jump the Shark, it sounds like.
So Missy is like, oh, so Lati, are you guys aren't going to have any help with the baby?
She's like, well, I don't know.
I haven't booked any help, you know?
But like, are you saying, do you recommend help or you just after not having help?
Or are you just recommending?
She's like, no, yeah, with my son, River.
I actually never had help, but I did it mostly myself.
She's like, see, I want to do that.
But I know it's unrealistic between, you know, Tim Burton's suit making and,
And just being quiet, it's difficult to have time to raise a child.
Well, I had full-time help.
I had three nannies, 24-7.
Margo, she's like bragging all the time, you know, which they point out this episode.
And it's really funny to see that now.
She's like, yeah, I had full-time help, like constant help.
They were always there.
I mean, they're right there.
They're right.
I'm not even sitting on a chair.
I'm sitting on some help.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm ready.
I certainly didn't grow up with butlers and night nurses and things.
My mom had four kids.
kids and did it all on her own. The only assistant she had was a very aggressive set of bangs.
Well, you and Kimmy, you're like on good terms now, Missy? And she's like, oh, yeah, I mean,
well, I'm not on good. You know, I don't know where we stand because she had, you know,
she kind of said sorry, not sorry, kind of. And so we flashed back to Kim being like,
well, I don't think it's cool to tell me that I can't say that I don't want to sit at a lunch
that's very dark. And I apologize if that hurts your feelings, but that's just who I am.
So Missy was unsatisfied with this.
And so now we go back to the other lunch.
By the way, this entire episode is like rival meals.
And it's basically like the cool, fun people and the boring people.
And by boring, there's actually no boring people on the show, which is amazing.
But we know.
Like, there's a group that we like.
And it's the group that's like they're like the lame people, right?
There's like the rich English people.
And then there are the American transplants who are just like desperate for any kind of reality.
fame you know and missy and missy it's time for commercial it's time for a
crap and's commercial so um Kim is like well I actually went outside the other
day and I said missy listen I apologize if I offended you I didn't mean to offend you
and you're a stupid druggie brother but you know it's just who I am just like well
oh Mike is like well I'm so glad you said that yeah I mean who I do have a problem
now it's fucking Margo right
But you say everything to beep his faces.
She didn't know as the secrets.
Yeah, but obviously it upset the girl.
Like, she's actually repeated something
and made into something way bigger than it is.
Well, I said, okay, a druggy got murdered,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Who hasn't been murdered?
Am I right?
She earned a whole big thing.
And it wasn't necessary.
So if anybody fucking hurt, fucking hurt Missy,
who is Margo?
Margo does not give a flying fuck about Missy, okay?
or what happened to Maasai? Margo just wants to make a scene.
And Kimmy's like, I don't trust her. I don't trust the bitch. Michael's like, you know Margo very, very well, Martha.
And you know Kimmy very, very well. And knowing both lions in this fight, how would you say?
It's like, well, I think this is going to go down to the wire, man. I mean, they'll end up wrestling.
I could try and peace keep, but I don't think it's going to work. So I've both given them nimes and keys to my apartment.
said, do what you will, ladies.
Whoever emerges with the most eyeballs intact swings.
Listen, if I get involved, I'm going to somehow get it wrong, and they're both going to turn on me,
and I don't want any part of it, which is why in the next scene, you'll see me directly call Margo and tell everything that Kimmy just said.
Well, I'm not going to turn on you. I'm not a PC person. I'm not a polite person, but I am a loyal person.
And anything I say, I'm a girl's goal. I have no tolerance for that. And now she's a person. And now she's
on my shit list. She's on my shit list.
And she's fucks.
She's fucked.
I loved it.
Now we go over to...
She just gets so dramatic. It's hilarious.
She started off the scene by going like,
tell me, tell me about your puppet business.
And by the end, she's like,
oh, yeah, she can fuck herself and she's fucked.
She really did.
I mean, actually, technically, she started the scene saying,
listen, if a guy doesn't eat meat and doesn't eat mayonnaise,
I'm out of the date in seven minutes.
I mean, vegan, what is it vegan exactly?
I'm not going to talk to a vegan.
I mean, I can probably keep their penis hard for about 30 seconds.
Now we go to Oxford, and we're at Joshua's family estate,
and it's the gender reveal party that they're doing.
And what's so funny is that, like, you know, Joshua and Lottie,
I actually really love them.
Like normally they, I feel like on a different show,
I'd be like, oh, these would be like the pretentious Alex and Simon.
and McCords, but I do really like them.
And I love their, like, the suits are amazing.
Like, they're just so perfectly tailored.
And I love that he also clearly made suits for his mom and his sister or his aunt or
whoever it was, because his mom has, like, the same sort of, like, shiny material fitted
suit with the pointy lapels and everything.
So I love that he just, like, keeps making blazers for people.
And they, uh, this is the gender reveal.
And Lottie's done some tarot cards.
And the tarot cards say that she's having a boy, but will she have a boy?
But will she have a boy?
You!
What will happen to the ascendancy?
So Josh was like,
Well, I would hug you, but I don't want to touch you
because you're so, so white.
You know, with the gender reveal,
there's some things that we sort of walk down
the more traditional line.
I think making it a celebration
makes it even more special,
which is why we're having a celebration
for a gender reveal.
hashtag TikTok culture.
So Ladi tells us that also one of the reasons why they're doing this is because her dad has been ill.
And I believe they show a card at the end of the episode, which I believe was her dad that shows that he sadly passed, you know, probably fairly recently.
And we see her with her dad and she says that her dad was a CEO and she's just trying to spend as much time as she can with him together.
So they do the reveal and they slice into the cake.
And she's like, everyone, if it's a boy, it should be a blueberry cake with vanilla custard and herbal tea crunchies, as well as another layer of blueberry jam and a compote of vanilla.
And if it's a girl, it's going to be raspberry compote with vanilla sponge, with speckos of more raspberry.
I'm like, okay, just like cutting the cake.
We'll see the colors.
Vintoshua is just like, all right, master chef.
And they cut into it and it's a boy, guys.
Well, I have this vision of dresses and tiaras and things like that, and I now have these visions of mini suits.
Oh, yes, the mini suits are definitely coming.
Mini suits, they're going to wake up at the middle of night and be like, mini suits, mini suits, mini suits, many suits, many suits.
This is going to be the best dress.
This baby's going to be a suit for life.
It's going to, like, show up at daycare in like a shiny, four.
warm fitting suit with lapels that stick up to its shoulders, like, and the little top hat and a mustache.
Lottie's like, but if it's a little boy, I mean, I'm horrified because don't little boys wee-wee on you all the time?
And he's like, well, I'm pretty sure that's not sexually ambiguous.
I think girls we as well, darling.
No, no, it's the Willy.
And also it's really weird that I've got like a willie growing inside of me now.
So now we go to Margo's new house.
Like a lot.
They're so strange.
So we go to Margo's new house and she's bringing her daughter, Della, into the house.
And it's this like multicolour, sort of pastel-y house with like yellows and pinks.
And we find out, by the way, that this house is $60,000 U.S. dollars per month.
I mean, at that point, you could just buy something, I think.
Like, that is so much to spend on rent.
clearly she's renting it for two months.
It's probably a short-term rental that she's renting for this show
because I cannot imagine a world where you just sort of open-endedly spend $60,000 a month on rent.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
She's like, when I go into a space, I, like, bring my sage and my polo santo and stuff.
But, like, this has a vibe.
Like, it has these really bright, like, warm colors and everything has been thought of.
Like, we doubled our budget, but you know, everything's perfect.
And I'm rich.
I'm rich as fuck.
So she has to walk up 40 steps to get to the second floor.
I mean, and then there's a staircase to the next floor.
And that's the thing I don't get.
60,000 a month to walk up 90,000 steps?
No.
This entire scene was her just walking up staircases.
It was just like going up, up, up, up.
I mean, she could have been in K-pop demon hunters.
She's also like, I'm all child.
I mean, this is going to be a lot of bruises.
A lot of bruises and broken bones, I predict.
And that kid's bedroom is at the top of the 15th staircase.
Like the doorway opens up to the staircase.
That kid is going to be tumbling down the stairs.
It'll be like a bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
It'll be like 100% with a child.
Yeah, this was not thought.
This was not like a child safety house.
But, you know, she looks really rich in it.
So that's what's important.
So she calls Martha.
And she's like, well, I was thinking because it's like so hot and sunny,
we could like take advantage of my garden and want to come over,
lady who's probably going to be living in something that looks a lot like a garden pretty soon.
I'd love to, darling, but I've got plans with Emma. Sorry.
You're doing British things. Apologies. She's like, oh, okay, well, I'm sure it'll be all good vibes.
By the way, how are you after that drawing class? And she's like, oh, I'm okay, but I had dinner with Kimmy and Micah yesterday.
And Kimmy says that you're a snake in the grass. And I said, oh, perfect, can I adopt it and put it in my apartment?
Well, you did kind of go tell Missy something that she did.
She didn't need to know, darling.
No, no, that's the difference.
She did need to know.
That's the whole different.
Because she said very clearly, I want to know things.
I really care about that.
So, like, I told her things.
Like, that's what friends do, Martha.
Martha, get your fucking self together before you're dead.
I think that when Missy said I want to know things,
she meant more like, how does a dole-nob work?
Or how do I cook this in the microwave?
I don't think she wanted to know things like that.
Okay?
She's like, well, she's mad at me telling Missy.
Why is white wine yellow?
Yellow. You know, things like that, darling.
And I would like to know that too, as well, by the way.
Also, why is the water that comes out of my faucet yellow?
Is it wine? Can I drink it?
Where are my keys?
Have you found that man?
Oh my God. She's mad at me for telling Missy? Are we in middle school? Like, how did I get this wrong?
Like, how's with my problem, Kimmy?
Well, I don't think that either of you are right in this situation.
I think you're both wrong and horrible right now. Both of you are horrible. Horrible
people. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You think I'm being horrible to Kimmy, Martha? Are you serious?
You know, I'm an actress, right? Like, no, you're, like, that gives me a certain degree of respect.
And are you, like, just trying to, like, you know, say anything to get out of the line of fire?
It's like, well, I'm stuck in the line of fire and I don't want to be. It's like, well, you can love someone who's wrong.
It's like, well, she can be really tough because she's had, she's had to be really tough.
But I also know that there is a heart of gold in there, and she's a lioness, and she will fight
for her friends.
Well, she better roar and show up because right now she's just looking like a bitch.
Kim, you probably watched that.
I was like, well, thank you.
That was the point.
So now we go to end Emma's London flat.
And she's creaming pastries.
She's like, bo-la-b.
She's like a good homemaker.
And she's like, I love cooking.
I genuinely love it.
I learned it from my mom and I had lessons in London.
I've never worked in a restaurant, but I have written food.
magazines, recipes. I've had television shows, the television show called Emma's Kitchen.
Here it is. We see Emma's Kitchen. She's like, I learned from my mom and I had lessons in London.
I never worked in a restaurant, but I did write in magazines, TV shows. Here's the TV show.
It's me, Emma and Emma's Kitchen. I've learned from my mom, and then I had lessons in London.
It's a loop. So get me out. Get me out of this loop.
someone reset the robot.
I love that there's like headlines.
Looking into a mirror while looking into a mirror.
It's so funny.
I actually,
and I love Emma.
And I don't know why,
because she's actually kind of boring,
but I actually really,
because she's so elegant and like,
she's one of those people that's just like,
I like her glamorous that you're like,
I'm like,
oh,
it's fine.
But she's also one of these people that like cooks all the stuff,
but she's also like a toothpick.
And I'm like,
lady.
So then I like that those headlach.
But I love her because,
you know,
I love her personality.
She's so chill.
but she can also be bitchy, which you can see that kind of seething.
And I also love because we know where the storyline is going because we saw Julie and her sandwich, her sandwich Earl or whatever, and how rich they are.
But we know that they have to work so hard to keep these estates up.
Like these estates are not just paid for.
They have to come up with money to keep these things running, which is why they've made it into a zoo and why she's trying to do.
So I love that there's desperation there right under the surface.
And right now she's too cool to show any of it.
You know, we don't see any of it, but you know it's coming.
And I also love, there's, they show some headlines to show that she has actually like a,
a known, you know, cooking thing, you know, and so there's an headline that goes,
Mirkats, Marangs, and Mining the Recipe Archives, Lady Waymouth on her plans for a new era at Longleet.
I'm like, is she making, is she cooking Miracats?
Here's my Miratat meringue cake.
Yeah.
Sure, that's exactly what you want.
And next to her cooking Mirkats and marangs.
For the juxtaposition, we cut to Margo's house where she's just, like, cutting shit out of a bag.
I'm just like, oh, God, this is like so hard.
This is, like, so hard to host things, even when you get stuff from other places.
Hosting is hard.
So Emma, meanwhile, has put out, like, a billion, like, canopas and little pastries and little, like, you know,
little adorable
baked goods.
She's like, I've thrown lots and lots of parties over the years,
mainly for meerkats.
That's why it's called Mirat Manor.
Someone had to feed them.
Oh my God, I came up with an idea.
I'm going to teach Mirat Manners.
And I'll feed them.
Yes, we had lots of dinner parties.
I've done dinners by the lake when hippos came back to look at us.
I've done dinners at the funerals
for the people who were killed by the hippos.
And I've had dinners for Diana Ross,
singing on top of a hippo. Really anything that involves a hippo of, I've catered to it.
So Mark and Kimmy come and they're like, oh my God, is this a home or a castle?
Oh, wow. Here we are. While bitch on wheels arrived, them. Got me one, blah, blah, please.
They come in making all this noise. They make so much. That's the best way to put it. They come in making so much noise, like laughy noise. They are like, this is. This is. This is,
is an episode of puppets. These are like real-life puppets coming in, and it's hilarious that
later on they get compared to Muppets. But like, they come in and Emma's like, oh, well,
these kicks were made from Aparole. Oh, well, they're beautiful, Emma. Well, of course she knows.
Well, there's, of course there's alcohol in them, darling. Well, I knew my audience. Are you joking?
Of course I knew. So they're just like, oh, when I used to go long late, before Emma showed up,
we had to drink wine out of a shitty books. The seats stunk. The mattresses were all.
Emma showed up and I was like, oh, there's towels here now.
I mean, she's like the best thing ever.
So we have this already very raucous party that's just like, they walk in and they're already laughing and having fun.
And then we go to Margo's.
And it's like very pretty.
It's very quiet.
Missy shows up.
And she's like, oh, this is beautiful.
Look at these.
I love all the colors.
It's so nice.
Oh, my God.
I would just be like, take a picture of me here.
Now take a picture of me here.
Now take a picture of me here.
Yeah, it's so nice.
And Missy's like, and Margo's like,
thank you so much for coming.
We're going to do a non-alcoholic wine tasting.
And even Missy's like, uh, okay.
The non-naecolic?
She goes, yeah, we're going to try all of them.
Yeah, where's my wine?
So, Marco's like, well, I mean, the wine tastes like booze, guys.
And so they taste it and are like, mm, delicious.
Wow.
Okay, can we have some wine, please?
Wine.
Wine, please, wine.
anything.
So they're like just Lottie shows up and she's like,
oh look, a room, a house that's full of yellow and pink.
How non-traditional.
I am a surprise traditionalist.
So they are like congratulating her on the gender reveal and everything.
And it's like very nice.
And Micah has come by and Micah shows up and she brings like a little shirt like a little
hostess gift for Margo.
And so sweatshirt for D.
that says, mind your manners, adorable Lord.
She's like, hosting us hard.
Like, it's a lot of work, and I think it's so important to show gratitude for being invited.
And it can just be the tiniest little thing to just be like, I was thinking about you.
Thank you.
And that's why I bring guests.
But when you give them, you have to say it like this.
I got you against Margo.
Like that, Margo?
Margo's like, oh, God.
Please just sit down.
So we go back over to Emma's flat while everyone else at Margo's is just like waiting for their
wine, their real wine.
and Emma's just giving out booze to everyone.
And Mark said, oh, there's a tree in my drink.
And Kimmy's like, well, so what have you been up to you, darling?
Martha, how's your crazy burn?
Oh, she's fabulous.
Picked out the manman's eyeball.
And I said, well, I apologize.
But at least now you have something an interesting story to tell people, right?
Oh, God, you know that her bird.
You have to wear goggles when you go on the house.
And we see a flashback of Kimmy going to the house.
And Martha's like, oh, darling, haecate.
Oh, the champagne.
Would you like some eccate?
Oh, Kimmy, would you like to wear some goggles just in case the bird comes onto your shoulder and tries to pack out your eyes?
And Kimmy just stares at her with her mouth open, her teeth bleeding.
She's just like, uh, the fuck.
The fuck.
You know, the reason why Martha likes Margo is because it's like her bird.
Just when you think you're not wearing goggles, the moment that you're not wearing your goggles,
He picks her eyeballs out.
Oh, stupid, but they're exactly the same.
She's just like her cutting.
Mived fucking dare you, coming from you.
You know what? Kimmy's pissed off because Margot outmaneuvered her.
That's what happened.
Mark's like, ooh.
I maneuvered me.
She's embarrassing.
No, she was trying to apologize to Missy, and Margo sat on the other side.
She had to go left to right, left to right, left to right, left to right,
and then Kimmy had to turn side to side.
a lot of work for her.
She's like, no, no, no.
Margo just wanted attention.
And that's why she wears her shirts, opta here, all right?
By the way, it was so funny that she's talking about how, like, oh, wow, look at how
scandalous Margo is.
Look at how, like, revealing her outfits are.
I mean, while Emma's sitting there, like, her entire, like, belly button is out.
And Emma's looking at her, like, um, hello.
Oh, she had maneuver to you, darling.
It was a genius maneuver, and now you look furious, simply fure.
Oh, she looks so dumb. I'm not. I'm not, you know what I'm laughing at her. That's what I'm doing. I'm laughing at what. What?
Well, Martha was like Wellington. She was genius.
And then we see First Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo.
And you're cross about that because you don't want to apologize. Well, well, well, well.
Apologize to Waterloo, darling, because you lost this one.
Oh, she was just clamoring for attention.
Oh, but she's not just clamming for attention.
She's Wellington.
Now she is.
That's why she wears tight in the Lord Jomsu, sorry.
She has bad style, really bad style.
No, she fucking does not.
Hideous.
She's so tacky.
She's one of the most stylish women in the world.
Oh, my God.
You're the first one that said the outfits weren't hideous.
Remember, you're the first one who said that they were hideous.
Do you remember that at the barney?
You said it was hideous?
out of your own down mouth, Martha.
Well, the jumpsuit I didn't like.
She's perfect, apart from the jumpsuit.
And, well, she did seem to wear a whole bunch of trash bags sewn together when she visited me at the warehouse.
But, yeah, the jumpsuit was terrible.
And we see this, Margot in this, like, velour jumpsuit.
And Martha, Martha goes up to her and just goes, I don't like this.
I don't like the jumpsuit.
Well, look, she's been in L.A. where people just wear Lulu Lemon.
And well, she's...
And Mark goes, well, she's not in L.A. anymore.
Well, there's a lot of Sikh people in L.A.
Margot's just not vulnerable.
Okay, okay. Just stop. Stop.
Just stop. It's like, well, I'm sorry.
I'll probably be off it. It's just stop it.
It's like, Emma's like, my neck is itchy because of all this.
So Emma's, Emma's like, this is Kimmy's version of an intervention, which is quite aggressive.
Oh, ultimately, Kimmy is a very fair person.
And she will always see things objectively.
Kimmy should be a top barrister.
It's a real shame she got a trust fund because she's wasted not being in law.
Barister means lawyer.
Oh, well, I have an allergic reaction to all of this girls.
Oh, I generally love this girl.
Don't worry.
I genuinely love her.
Okay, well, you might love her, but let's not sit here and pretend it isn't what it is.
I mean, the girl dresses like a trash bag.
Well, all they're doing is slagging off Margot's clothes, which is progress.
Margot's wearing clothes.
She wasn't the last time she was in London.
So she's not up.
Commercials.
Here comes one right now.
So now we go to Margo's house.
And they're still having their like, they're like wine listed.
Like Margo's trying to cook this dinner and they're all sitting there watching and
they're like waiting for the wine.
They're like, I don't think she actually wants to give us wine.
Like, oh God, yeah, she's not so great at this.
So we go back to Emma's house and they're having like barata and things.
It's just like lovely and fabulous.
And Emma's like, Emma's giving a fish.
She's like, look, I gave you a long thin one.
She's like, well, I don't want that.
Oh, she likes them short and fat.
Oh, so Kimmy's like, well, you know what?
This arse wasn't built for nothing.
Anything she can get in her mouth will do.
So Emma is offering more drinks, and Kimmy's like,
of course I want another drink.
Of course I don't.
I need it.
that. You don't need it. You just prefer it. Oh, no, I need that. They're literally just bantering. I love that we are just watching them banter and crack each other up. I am dying. I'm like, this is the best show ever. Someone's like, ah, by the way, Kimi, I don't like you tonight. Just FYI.
Pardon. I don't like you at all tonight. You're being a bitch. Well, I'm always a bitch. At least I'm consistent. At least I'm consistent. But,
Why are you being a bitch?
We're out of control.
We're so excited.
We just both are being a life together.
We're so excited by this show.
It's so good.
So funny.
They're ridiculous.
So she's like, yeah, well, why are you being a bitch?
Well, at least there's no surprises with me.
She's absolutely not sorry.
But you are being a cow?
Why are you being a cow?
What's happening at home?
Oh, God.
Nothing's happening.
I just got a beautifully terrible vase by my child, threw it against a wall.
My ex-husband gave me some lip.
I mean, it's just a fabulous time, actually.
Thank you for asking.
But I made my signature clams in a pan, and everyone's happy.
So no problems over here.
Mark goes, lavashful, which stands for the mad cow.
Everything's all right.
Back to Margo's house.
Margo's like, by the way, I want to hear this conversation at the other dinner.
It's like, oh, so all the others have met up with us.
without us as well, so I'm the only British person who gets stuck with the non-brits at the boring wine this dinner.
Because, oh, one thing we did not mention is that when Margot finally did bring out the wine,
she brought like a travel-sized bottle of like, Rose-A, like Mirival-Rose.
Like, tiny bottle.
And they're like, what the fuck?
We're in London, lady.
Give us a full-sized bottle.
Oh.
Well, so everyone's met up without us as well, but I have an accent.
But you don't have the lineage, darling.
Darling, darling, darling.
You never should have admitted that you didn't have night nurses.
Well, I'll tell you this.
Kimmy was, you said that Kimmy was on the wool path for you.
And Margot's like, oh, yeah, Micah.
Were you there with Martha and Kimmy?
And she's like, yes.
Well, what happened then?
Well, did Martha tell you anything yet?
I mean, she clearly did because you know, well, she said that, you know, well, I saw Kimmy and she's like gunning for you.
And I was like, excuse me, that's French.
French.
Why for you?
And Mrs.
like, yeah, why?
She's like, you fucking bitch.
Margo's like, yeah, fucking bitch, right?
What happened?
So Michael's like, well, so Kimmy sort of said, well, she doesn't like ketchup on eggs, first and foremost.
So let's get that.
I went out of the way.
And she just was like upset about that conversation in the car.
I've never been so uncomfortable.
Oh, my God.
And Margo's like, well, maybe Kimmy should never speak to me again.
Well, that's a bit tricky for Martha then to be in the middle, you know.
So when we go to the other flat, and Martha's like, how are you and Margo going to resolve this, Kimmy?
Oh, God, I don't know.
I mean, I'll actually have something against Margo.
Oh, I mean, she's just everything I didn't expect, you know?
Oh, I mean, I perfectly like the woman.
She's just a stupid slut dresser.
Hello, shall I taste, shall I tell you all something?
It's serious, so I'm going to lower my chin into my clavicle.
A friend of mine, a friend of mine who's known Margo for about a decade, hasn't seen her for some time, sees her again at the carton party and tells me she's unrecognizable.
Well, there you go, there you go, exactly what I'm saying.
In terms of her manner, demeanor.
What I've been told is that reportedly since her marriage, Margot has become an absolute diva.
She's vain. She's narcissistic. She's obsessed with money. And she has become insufferable. And it's all about her all the time. And now I don't know whether this is true, but it certainly comes across as being quite likely. And then we see a montage of Margot just being like, um, these are Japanese past designer. Okay. And I'm wearing vintage Westwood boots and a vintage loquo skirt everybody.
I'm obsessed with Mark
Just being in some other
Production that takes place in 1905 London
What I've heard
Is that her demeanor is terrible
Oh, she's become absolutely obsessed with money
She's terrible, she's fallen out of good society
Like what show is he in?
I've never heard that, I know, and I've never heard of that
From people who just got money
He's just saying she's new money
But he's making it so scandalous
Like, oh, completely unrecognizable.
She won't live.
They said, who is this new specimen in front of us?
Martha goes, well, she just got sober.
We wouldn't know about that, Kimmy.
Ha, ha.
Mark goes, that shouldn't make people worse.
But now, she's not worse.
She's amazing.
Well, I'm telling you right now, Margo will fuck you all.
She's on my shit now.
So Emma is, Emma's just watching.
And she's like, well, I've never seen these two have a spat.
I see them as a double-d-d-twe-d-d-d-d-d.
Like those stupid American Muppets that sit in the theater, you know, the two old men.
And we see like Martha and Kimmy just sitting at the table with both they're like sort of like, they're kind of bobs.
They're curly kind of bobs just sitting talking at each other.
And they are so two Muppets.
And like I wouldn't say that they're Waldorf and Stadler, but they are, it is still kind of like a perfect comparison.
Well, it's perfect for us because we are those two Muppets.
And so to be compared, like to see that and then like have the triangle.
funny. I was like, oh, I love the show even more. So Kimmy's like, you mark my words. She's
gonna fuck you over, Martha. Well, Margar and I've been friends for 20 years. She's never
fucked me over yet. Well, guess what? She already did. No, she didn't. Okay, well, then I'm not your
friend, then. But back at the other dinner, Lottie's saying, Kimi always says whatever she wants
she's going to say to your face. So why is she so upset that they've been said to her face? The problem is,
like what Kimmy said and the way she spoke to both of you is not okay
and the aggression was just a bit too much.
I don't find that appropriate because I'm a traditionalist.
Micah's like, well, the next time you see Kimmy, what do you think?
I mean, how do you think you're going to approach a situation?
Don't say anything about me.
Please, I have a Muppet show.
Please, please.
Well, if she wants to talk to me, she'll come to me, but I'm not going to approach her.
It's like, okay, well, I look forward to seeing that awkward moment.
No, you won't because we're going to start.
squash up by the end of the episode and the next scene.
Oh.
Well, I don't have a problem with Kimmy.
And if Kimmy wants to bark at me like some deranged corgi,
then she just will.
You know what I mean?
I mean, like, I don't know.
A corgi, right?
Doesn't she a corgi, you guys?
She's not a corgi.
I'm sorry.
That's not the,
if we're going to do like a doggy in person,
like a comparison,
I don't think that she's a cordy.
I don't know what she is.
What would you say?
Um,
I don't know my dog breeds well enough,
but I don't,
I just don't see Kimi as being a corgi.
I could see her maybe being like a Maltese.
you know.
They sort of like fans.
They sort of have that fancy
kind of like vibe.
What's like a drunk fancy dog?
I'm going to look it up.
Drunk fancy dog.
Oh, like maybe.
And by the way, yes, we understand
it's problematic to compare women to dogs.
But in this case,
Margot introduced the comparison.
And we just want to make sure that her comparison
just wasn't good enough for me in terms of like
it wasn't a high quality,
comparison. So as long as we are on this path. That's cute. There's a drunk bulldog on here.
Okay. So then we go to Emma's party and Kimmy's like, well, I mean, if someone stopped you in
the park, I would have defund it, you. But I did defend you. No, you didn't. No, you didn't,
Martha. I said, that's Kimmy. You said, well, you're still defending her. Martha's like,
I feel like Kimmy needs to defend it. If I feel like Kimmy needs defending, I will defend her if I feel
like she's right. Well, I hate, I hate you so much right now. And as, as much as I understand how
this arose, I don't think she's right. Where's your loyalty, Martha? Where's your lot?
So then we go to a film studio and Micah is doing a thing, a manners video with her puppets.
Oh, my God. These puppets. It's like, I would love to teach adults how to be kind.
And then we cut to Kimmy bringing up Dara. I, I heard.
your friend as a model.
Yeah.
You know, many manners is something that I see.
It's just, it's so important, you know, to teach the next generation kindness is what I would
love to be my life's work.
Sorry, bitch.
TikTok culture is here.
It's all about Fittingter Reveals and public shaming.
Good luck with you puppets.
Yeah.
And she's just like, oh my God, my husband's never in town.
But, you know, I'm sure he's going to rectify that soon.
But in the meantime, I'm going to get this puppet show off the ground.
It's going to be great.
sure my husband loves it.
And meanwhile, I think all of us are thinking that man is cheating on you and he's leaving you.
So I hope this puppet show works out because this man is cheating.
Yeah.
That thing, that felt thing hanging off your assistant's arm right now is going to be your new
husband very soon.
Yeah.
So hope it goes well.
So now we go to a restaurant with Kimmy and she comes in.
She's like, hello, two for Blonk a Blanc.
Thank you.
So Missy comes.
in, she's like, oh, you know, Kimi, she dresses so lovely and I really want to hate her.
And I want to be like, fuck you, bitch, but she's wearing an amazing bag.
And she's staring at me and I'm like, I fucking hate you, but I love your bag.
Because Jimmy's bag is there.
It's like, the sun is like shining on.
It's like, ooh.
Well, I'm really happy you actually wanted to meet Kimi.
Well, I thought we should have a chart because I feel like something that was so unintentionally, you know, like sad because it was like magnified into this
Huge thing.
Well, I mean, from my point, I feel like we did have, like, a really nice day.
We had a very nice day until some Debbie Downer ruined it.
Oh, that was you.
Sorry.
So, Missy's like, but when we sat down, I just, I felt like I want to get to know people.
Well, when I did say something about it in the car, I didn't say it in a way that was like
something very negative towards you.
I just said, oh, I had read about this and blah, blah, blah, blah, wow, wow, brother got
killed, blah, wow, big deal.
Whose brother hasn't been killed?
Am I right?
but it was like nothing mean.
I mean, what's mean about saying, who cares?
Who cares about a murder?
Like, what else is no, right?
But I felt really sad and disrespected.
And then when I tried to talk to you the other day,
well, I was trying to talk to you,
but then I had Margot coming my side like a barking dog in the back.
So we see more of that fight where Kimmy is like,
let me tell you something, Missy.
There was no making fun.
And Margo, is that what you said?
And expect you to go back like a fucking hypocrite.
And Marco's like, that's not what hypocrite means.
Go to fucking college.
Well, okay, I think it was really strong of her to stand up.
Oh, well, that's not standing up.
I think that's causing friction between people that was non-existence.
But I feel like you didn't value my feelings.
Well, I didn't mean it in an intentional way to say something negative about your experience.
Well, but you said I did it for a moment.
attention. Well, I, okay, well, I did. I mean, I kind of felt like that a little bit. Okay.
I did say that. I did say that. It was actually quite hilarious. We all had a great laugh in the car.
If you would have been there, you would have actually really enjoyed it. And she's like, well,
but it was never supposed to, it was never supposed to, it was never supposed to before attention.
She goes, okay, well, fair enough. You know, I'm just not that sensitive. Okay. I'm not like some
half Albanian, half, you know, Swedish model snowflake, right? I mean, I know you're from
Scandinavia, but I don't know you're made of actual snow.
Okay, well, I mean, look, everyone has their what I call
their crotch as a coping mechanism.
Some people find it in religion, boring.
Some people find it in humor, the best way.
But, you know, I never judge people in what they want to use is what I call their
crutch.
Like, I don't know, what do you use as your crutch, like just, you know, being boring?
So basically, like, if you're saying that I'm rude, you're kicking the crutches off
of a disabled person, and you're the bad person now.
So how does that make you feel?
I love how she turned it around like that.
That was so funny.
And she's like, but you did judge me.
She goes, well, all right.
Well, I'm a little bitchy too.
What's my honest?
And now I realize you're much more sensitive.
Then I will be aware of that.
All right.
I'm just aware.
Miss is like, I really appreciate that.
I'm like, bitch, she just insulted you.
I love it.
I love it.
Thank you so much.
Like, you think that's a good thing
in Kimmy's world, well, you're just, you're sensitive.
You probably put ketchup on your eggs, and you probably don't like mayonnaise,
and I, and I'll just be aware without going forward.
And Kimmy tells that, she's like, well, I don't want Missy to be upset.
I mean, she felt like people were disrespecting her brother's death,
and I feel really bad.
I feel really bad about it.
I don't.
Well, you know, I am kind of getting learning to accept people as they are,
and, like, everyone deals differently with things,
and Kimmy, this is how she deals with it.
And it doesn't come from a bad place.
You know, I didn't know what I was expecting coming in here.
And I was like, I really hope it's good.
And she's like, oh, you were hoping I was going to be standing here with like a knife.
So Missy's just glad that this is over, right?
Because Kim, Kimmy is terrified.
And Kimmy's like, well, she's half Swedish.
But, you know, I like the Albanian bed.
You know, that one, that side's got balls.
She calls a spade to spade.
I actually have much more respect for her than anything else.
So, although I don't understand why she keeps on saying,
R-I-Z-G-O-D-R-G-R-G-R-G-D-R-G-G-G-R-S God.
What's that all about?
So Missy's like, well, when it comes to Margo,
I really think you guys should have a conversation.
I really don't think she meant it in a malicious way.
And I really feel like she's quite genuine.
Oh, well, no, I thought that too.
But you know, Marga actually said to me the other day
that when he had his garden party,
a girl had come up to him and said,
oh, I actually knew Margo from years and years ago when she lived in London.
And I was talking to her tonight, and she's a completely different person.
She's got her acting hot on.
And Missy just looks shocked.
And I like that Kimmy.
He's like, all right, I forgive you.
Now let's ruin someone else together.
Well, this is how it often goes on these shows.
It's like whoever delivers the message, like they deliver the message.
The other two people, they fight, but the fight is actually so intense because of the message that they actually are compelled to make up.
And then it's the person delivered the message who is the one who gets burned.
This is a classic pattern.
Yeah.
So Missy's like not ready to commit to this.
She's like, I don't know.
Well, I don't know either.
Let me talk to Mark.
Margo needs to sit down and reevaluate being a girl's goal because she's a bit of a hypocrite, I think.
Oh, and I'll say it to a face.
Dun, dun, done, done.
Oh, great show.
Love it.
So that was that.
And then we see a mid-season trailer and it just looks super fun and off the rails.
and Kimmy and Missy go out.
No, Kimmy and Martha go at it.
And then Mark and Margo go at it, which is really fun.
There's a great moment where, like, I don't know,
like Margo and Mark are having some words.
And Marco's like, like, oh my God, you're just like obsessed with me.
And he goes, darling, who wouldn't be?
And she goes, you're so weird.
It's like this amazing pivot that he does and she doesn't know how to handle it.
It's great.
I hope that Margo, I'm sorry, I hope that Martha and Kimmy, I hope their friendship does not fall asunder.
We see it happen all the time on these shows.
So I'm hoping that we don't get like a season two where they're fighting.
I get a little worried about that.
It's like when Caroline Stanbury and Sophie Sandbury fought, like I didn't like that either.
Or like any other million shows where like the besties fight probably will happen.
But for right now, pretty good at just being like, you're a bitch and you were wrong.
And you were, you know, they just tell each other flat ass.
So I like that.
It seems like they are really friends, you know.
So they're probably getting to spats like this all the time.
So we'll see.
We'll see.
Anyway, but good times, everybody.
Have an amazing weekend.
Thank you so much for being here.
New newsletter comes out tomorrow.
So if you want it, just sign up for free, patreon.com.
And we'll talk to you next time.
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Megan Berg.
You can't have a burger without
The Berg. This is Living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Darn Skippy, it's Tibby. It's Tibby. It's Amanda V.
Can I have a Cavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher.
Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle.
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo.
She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manaw.
Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman.
In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie.
Peacock. We're right or die
for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a
whiz. It's Liz Sarthie. Always
killing it. It's Low Alcalani.
Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.
The Incredible Edible Matthew
Sisters. She eases our woes
it's Melissa St. Rose. There's
a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca
Cloud. She's our princess. It's
Rebecca Prince. Maximum
love for Sandy Maximuska.
She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah
Lemke. We cannot tell a lie.
It's Sarah Talaf Sun.
out of a cannon, Anthony.
Please don't stop. It's Soleon and Pop.
Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.
She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar.
We love you guys.
