Watch What Crappens - #3287 Below Deck Down Under S04E09 Part One: Honey Don’t

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recap**We open this recap with a discussion of the Summer House drama. Skip to 19 min to avoid it and get on with Below Deck!**Ellie loses it with Ben’s honey boobooing and takes it to the Captain on Below Deck Down Under, and there’s a gay wedding that can’t out hairspray Mike’s hair. Disappointing. The bride may not be running, but the eggs definitely are. You can’t just tell a man to stop being condescending and then expect his eggs to stiffen. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what's crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Benuni over there. Hello, Ben. How are you, my little darling face? I'm great. Thanks. How are you doing, Ronnie? Good. It's just so good to be here on another Bravo day. Nothing's really happening in the world. What?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a press conference. Oh, my God. And breaking news. Oh my gosh, she's coming up. It's West. It's West from Summerhouse. West, West, West, what do you have to say, West? I just wanted to tell everybody that I'm just a little boy and I don't really understand anything that's going on. So I'd just like to introduce Amanda Batula to have her say, Amanda. Thanks, West. Well, as I said on my Instagram stories, we've seen the growing online

speculation. So while... Well, well, Amanda, who's we? Who's we? Amanda, who's we? Um, the royal we. That's like me and my, um, bikinis for girls who have large breasts. The, all of us together have seen the growing speculation. And so like, while this is still very new, we wanted to provide some clarity. It was never our intention to purposely hide anything except our,

oversized boobs in bikini tops that fit properly. We were trying to accidentally hide it. Given the complicated relationship dynamics involved in the scrutiny that comes with being on reality TV show, Kyle, we needed a little space to process things privately before speaking on it. And, uh, Kyle, we've shown up for each other as friends over the use. I'm going to play a set. Hold on.

Why does anybody pay attention to me? S, nz, nz, uns, nz. We've shown up for each other as friends over the years through all the highs and lows, and what's developed recently was the last thing. Either of us expected. Our connection grew out of a genuine, long-standing friendship, which made it especially important for us to approach this with care, Kyle.

Fuck you, Amanda, don't pay attention to me. As our feelings evolved, we wanted to take time to understand exactly what we were feeling. We also recognize that this has had an impact beyond just us and never wanted our actions to cause any hurt or perceived as careless. The only thing careless here is West's broccoli hair. I'm sorry, West has a bullet, everybody. There, I said it. I said it. We truly appreciate the understanding and respect as we need. navigate this. And of course, what I'm talking about are the new flavors on the Starbucks menu. Thank you, everyone, for respecting your privacy while we figure out the new menu. Thank you.

Wow. Amanda. Wow. Wow. Wow. Well, so it sounds, I'm assuming she's talking about the scandal. Wow. So, Amanda Bill's Whipwest. So that's not even like they just made out and she's wearing his baseball cap, that's like they're together together. Ew, Amanda. That's like when I lost weight finally and then I grew back on my hair. You can never win. You can never win, okay? You know, what's, what's terrible for Amanda, and we'll get to West to, by the way, but what's terrible for Amanda is that here, she's embarking on this romantic relationship with West, it sounds like, and she is going to burn all of her friendships in the house. Definitely Sierra.

She's never going to earn that friendship back with Sierra. Like that's done and dusted. Probably page two. Lindsay, everyone. Like, she's burned all these friendships. They're all gone for a guy that ultimately is just going to be like,

I'm scared of commitment. And like, this is like really intense and everyone hates me. So I think we shouldn't do this anymore. Like, like this is, it's for something that's not going to go anywhere. And that's just sad.

Yeah, that is sad. I mean, I would have rather than it just been like, listen, everybody, I'm single, he's single. We fucked a couple times. Get off my ass, okay? Sierra knows I told her something, but, oh, Amanda West, no. I mean, anybody else. I think if it was Ben, you know, but the whole West and then Sierra thing, that's just not going to be good. I mean, Sierra's kind of the queen of that show.

Yeah, she is. days. And rightfully so. I mean, she's beyond her beauty, you know, because everyone's always like, but she's so pretty. How could you do this? Does someone so pretty? Yeah, ugly people get fucked over to you guys. Okay. But beyond her, beyond her obvious gorgiosity, um, the fact that that's one of your girlfriends who's standing up for you currently on this episode that we're watching this week. It's like Sierra standing up for you. And Sierra trying to help you through your problems with your shitty marriage and everything like that. And I know that it's Sierra and West were never married. They were never even dating technically. I mean, I don't even think they said they were boyfriend or girlfriend ever. But you know what's going on there. And you know that this is bad. You know that this is terrible girl code. What are you doing, Amanda? Oh, my God. I thought you're smarter than this, but you have been married to Kyle for a decade. So. And also, like, West is so generic. Like, couldn't you find just a different West? Like, they're everywhere. Like, why this West? And again, this is just not going to go anywhere. It's just going to him being like, um, Amanda, um, yeah.

Like, you're really cute. Like, that's just like, it's terrible. And on top of that, now, on the west end of it, not intended, this guy, again, like we said yesterday, he spends an entire last season moping about Sierra. This season, he's got his foot, no, tapping her calf while drunk. And like, oh, my God, she really likes me. She really likes me. All of this bullshit just to, like, shit on it. We knew that was a lie.

We knew that was a lie. And it seems like that's going to get. And we knew, it looks like based on the, the second half of the season, that he's going to, he's going to screwed up by the end of the season. So that is going to happen. But it's just like, it just, it speaks to the bullshit. You know, if this is, if he's truly in love with Sierra, if he really cares about Sierra, if he wants Sierra, I don't know. I just don't think this is what you do. Even if you acknowledge, like, if it becomes clear, my shot with Sierra is gone.

It's done. I have to move on. I can't hope to keep trying for Sierra like she's closed the door to me. Sure, move on. But don't move on and hurt her in the process. If this is someone that you truly say is the one that got away, the one that you love, you're just not, you're just going to, you still are going to hold her in high regard and not hurt her. And that's exactly what it seems like he has done. He doesn't care. He's only in it for the fame. You know, he's in it for the fame. He's like a poser. He's like a TikTok. He has TikTok hair. Okay. He's like a bar school. sports guy who doesn't take a bath and has a mullet. Like, I can't with this guy. I just can't. I can't. Why with West? Why with all, of all people? And then West, you know, Kyle's supposed to be his friend too. So like, hello, guy code. What the hell?

I mean, look, part of me is like, they're all in a house that's about fucking. And there's only a certain amount of people in the cast. So you're, you know, Sierra's got two basically with Jesse and West, you know, that are kind of into her who have been messing with her feelings. So, who's

left. Kyle's already taken. Then there's Ben who boring and then KJ's taken automatically. But you know, you can't do things outside the group, you know? And then that part of me that's like, well, they're both adults and they're both single. And if this is their thing, then that's fine. Like, you can't help who you love. Well, I would even say that. But other parts like, but you both have friends that you're kind of fucking over with this whole thing too. And like, isn't that more important than your whatever, your stupid influencer bullshit relationship? which I probably don't even believe. And third of all, how do you go from one man child to another guy who's like got broccoli hair and trying to like dress like every teenager on TikTok?

I just don't. Come on, man. You can't help who you love, but you can have standards. And they're like woefully missing in this situation. I think it's fascinating the parallels between this and Scandival. You know, you have Ariana and Sierra who are both kind of cut from the same mold in terms of Bravo types. which is like principled, upstanding, girls, girls, who are by and large, like, really respected and loved by the audience.

And they, like, seem to be the one standing up for the right things there. Like, Sierra has really never had ever a storyline where it's like, oh, wow. Like, I'm like, I hate, I fucking hate Sierra. I don't think there's ever been a situation where, like, half the audience loves Sierra, half the audience hate Sierra. Maybe people got annoyed with her for going back to Austin so many times. during that dreaded chapter. But by and large, the audience has always been behind Sierra.

By and large, the audience was always behind Ariana. And in both cases, these two people who really went above and beyond to be there for their girlfriends get screwed over by their girlfriends, which is crazy. And then you have Amanda and you have Raquel and you have two women who kind of are in relationships with guys who kind of disregard them in a way or like they're they're like they're both DJs they're in relationship with DJs they're both drunk DJs with substance of these issues who are like in it who are like really focused on in Kyle's case you know going to these random bars and playing in James's case playing on top of some toilet paper in Tom Tom Tom.

But the point is that they're kind of taking their women for granted and you have these sort of like women who are just kind of like left on the side and they've sort of wind up in these situations. Amanda is not technically in an affair, but it's affair adjacent. Yeah, I mean, the clearing difference is that Tom and Ariana were in a long-term relationship of like 10 years or whatever. So that's a huge, that's a pretty huge difference. And also I think Amanda has a lot in common with Ariana and that she's the one who's sitting at home who just wants. wants her partner to be at home watching Love Island, which is like the same basic plot of that one. But she's also kind of the Raquel. Even though, you know, she's technically not cheating.

I mean, people are trying to make this into Scandival, but it's really not. It's not the same thing. It's not a cheating. It's not an affair. This one, the betrayal is more a friendship. It's, and it's double, you know, and Amanda's going to get more of it because Amanda and Sierra, I think, I think that everyone accepts the guys are pieces of shit. And no one is surprised that West or Jesse or Kyle, none of them would be surprising to end up being a douchebag. We all know they're douchebags.

We all know that. So Amanda's going to get it worse because she has been, you know, that's one of her best friends who's been standing there for her. So I think that's the ultimate betrayal. And it's, yikes. It's not great. And it's, you're right. It's not technically an affair. Although, I don't know if Kyle and Amanda are not, I don't think that they are actually divorced.

No, but I guess actually, you're allowed to bang people when you're separated, right? Right. I've learned that from my sleeves. Technically, like, I don't know. Like, technically, actually, some could make an argument that's an affair. But what makes it different is that this group of people that, like, convened together in a house. They're all living together. And there's like that crucible energy of them all being in there being crushed by Bravo TV intensity.

And so, like, not an affair, flagrant violation of girl and bro code. but it's also like summer house like share house by code violation too like you're all in this house and you're having an affair within the house there's like there's like that craziness of that as well but also like the other thing is that like Amanda and Kyle are like just like Tom and Ariana are long standing couple in this group and so like we really know the ins and out to them and we thought we really knew Amanda, but did we really know Amanda? Did we really know Amanda outside of, outside of like the context of Kyle? I'm not actually sure we did. Well, I don't think Amanda is like suddenly this evil mastermind horrible person. And I, you know, she's just lonely. I think she's

making a terrible decision here, but also because I really just don't like West. So I think she's making a terrible decision. To me, it's very clear this guy's just using you to get on the city. I don't think if Amanda had this spinoff show that was shooting that West would care. But West is clearly planning on jumping over to this new show. I don't trust that guy. But anyway, about Amanda. Amanda's going to get stoned in the streets, you know, figuratively. And I, you know, I don't hate Amanda suddenly.

I just think she's, that's the guy who's been, we see it on the show right now. West is the one who's like, you need to treat with Amanda with respect. And then Amanda, you deserve better and this and that. I think she sees kind of a really sweet life raft. I mean, West is really nice if you're falling for his bullshit. So if you're falling for that act, you know, he does seem like a really sweet guy who's just being supportive and then friendship led to whatever. So I kind of feel bad for her in a way.

But man, this is a bad move to be fucking over your girlfriend. I mean, yes. That's the thing is that like I believe that she has been really lonely. I think she's been lonely in her marriage. I think she's been lonely in this relationship for a week. while. I think like when you're when you're lonely and someone shows you attention, it's like I fall in love with UPS people. Okay. I'm single all the time. I'm single by choice, but it doesn't mean I never get lonely. I literally when people are delivering my Instacart, I look at their picture

and if it's a hot guy, I'm like, oh my God, like I'll comb my hair. But I think that she was I think that she's lonely and I cannot I can't like, you know, I can't take that away from her. She was lonely. However, and you know, normally me, you know, like, how many times have I come on this podcast and be like, you know, what the woman did was bad. But like, let's not forget what the guy did. Because I always feel like the women always get it in these situations, the women always get it worse than the guys. Like, well, let's not overlook what West did. Well, West is shitty.

And he's been trying to perpetuate an image of him being this nice guy and sensitive and thoughtful, but he's doing something shitty. However, in this case, I actually think Amanda is the shittier one because I think, the hurt to Sierra is where I think Amanda's hurt to Sierra is worse than West's hurt to Sierra or West hurt to Kyle I think Amanda and Sierra is a deeper richer relationship and I think that we see Sierra is someone who's very very guarded and she's worked hard to bring down her walls just to be on the show and be like a contributing member to the show she's let down her walls and you know they always are encouraging her to come out of her shell a little bit more and and not

be so cut and dry. And I feel like this is the exact sort of thing that gives Sierra her walls in the first place and has her put them up. And I just think it's damaging to her. I think it's like really cruel. And I think like, I think Amanda, forget Kyle, forget anyone else in the house. I think Amanda, this is really so hurtful to Sierra. And I think it's, it's, it's well, but you know, and not taking West out again. West is the one who got a. involved so deeply, emotionally with Sierra and then is doing this. So West, you know, West is still. I think, I think it comes down

to like who I just like the most. And I'm not going to go hate Amanda after this, but I didn't like West anyway, so he can fuck wrong. Yeah, I'm just saying, I think Amanda did the shudier, I think in this case, Amanda did do the shittier thing. You know, I, you know, I'm always the one who's going to be like, remember the guys rolling this? Don't let massage, don't let cultural

misogyny make you forget about what the guy did, but I think actually in this case, Amanda, Amanda was more of the, like, I think she's inflicted more harm. And, but they both did something incredibly shitty. Yeah. Yikes. So that's that. Yeah.

Yikes. Okay. So, good luck with that. Good luck with that. You too. Have fun. Picking up the camera. I'm sure Bravo's going to pick up the camera.

Oh, I guess the city is the picking up of the cameras. Yeah. I probably pick up the cameras on the city. Because they said that they went shooting right, they shot the city right after Summerhouse, which means they would have been through like August, August, September through the holidays, roughly. So, yeah, they'll probably pick those cameras right back up, baby. And out of respect to one of the great reality TV shows of all time, known as The City, let's please call the show by its property name, In The City, because there's a difference between In The City and The City.

Yeah, there's no Olivia Palermo here. Don't even try it. You can steal someone's man, but you cannot steal Olivia Palermo from my memory. I just saw an entertainment weekly cover from like 2006 with Olivia Palermo on it. I was like, oh, God, I missed that show. It was so good. The city. I would argue that the city was better than the hills.

That's what I would take. I really did like the city, though. Oh, my God. I still remember her apartment. Olivia's apartment on the rooftop of that place and she had people over for dinner and the whole table was outside and New York's I mean, wow. Anyway, the point is that sucks and I don't want anyone to ever forget. So, good for them. So sorry to everybody who doesn't even know what that stuff is.

We will, you know, timestamp this. So if you don't give a shit about these children fucking. Sorry for everyone who tuned in to listen to us talk. about starfish on the floor of the sea. By the way, fish report will be a little shorter this week. We've been, we don't even, we get so excited talking about it. We don't even realize how much time goes by, but this time we're going to tighten it up. Tight fish.

See about that. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappins commercial. Okay, so here we are below deck down under season four. episode nine. Don, don't, don, don't, don. Ellie is

furious at Ben and she's now just gone marching upstairs to the captain. I need to see the captain right now. Captain. No, don't go through there. There's customers there. Don't go through there. That's where they got. I don't care. I do not care.

I sold fruit as a child. I sold fruit for milk. I will do this. Captain, what just happened in the galley? It's unacceptable. He's like, what happened? The way Ben speaks to me.

What was it about? Jason and his Homer Simpson backing into a bush eyes. He's just like, oh, what happened there? It's just like slowly backing away. He just does that blink, blink. He's like, oh, God. Another day of women's emotions. And let's watch how I react to women's emotions this time.

He's just like, blink, blink, blank. Blank, blank. Sorry, I was just looking for my M&Ms. I have to deal with this. He needs me to do certain things for dinner, but he never told me about it. And then all of a sudden he would like, you need to hurry up. Dinner is starting. Well, you need to do all these things.

I could prioritize my day better if you as my manager have told me, by the way, these are your task. I need them done by this time. What is the point of whiteboard? Why? And you told him that. I just told him that right now. Me and my ponytail told him. No, Ben, he's trying to make me feel like we are about. about to fail dinner service because of me.

So yes, I lost it, but this man is literally driving me insane. He's like, well, I actually thought the communication was pretty good inside the galley. I mean, not that I was in there or observing or doing anything other than smelling samples of sandalwood, but I thought you guys were working well together. I haven't had a woman come up here crying lately, so I figured everything was okay in the galley, and I could watch Real Housewives of Salt Lake City with my little talking bowl friends that I eat. All right. So, sorry, but I had no sign to this.

She's like, well, I've been trying. So, and he's like, oh, yeah, I can see that. I can see that you're trying. Okay. Let me blink a few times blankly. Okay. Are you backing away or am I backing away? Not really sure.

I'm in a bush. I'm in a bush. All right. The show's over. Okay. I don't, I think that this is, this is kind of a weak argument of Ellis, going up there and being like, he's mad at me because I didn't do stuff and I didn't even know I was supposed to do stuff.

This sounds like. that's just not a good argument. I mean, if you're going to go up there being like, he calls me sweetie and sugar and dumb playing all fucking day, and he's so condescending, and then he gets pissy and no one sees the pissy side. They only see this. Oh, he's so sweet. It's not sweet.

I'm sick of this shit. Like, if she had done something like that, maybe. But this whole, like, he wanted stuff done that I didn't get done, but he didn't tell me in time, and I'm pissed. It's like, yeah. That's a conversation you have after service. I agree with you though. Like I think that her frustration with being called honey and sweetie and and you know,

putting pops like for sure that's actually 100% worthy of going to the captain to discuss. And she does, she does do that very shortly. But I think that like, I wonder if she's like trying to think like maybe I should lead with more of the managerial things first before again to my personal issues. But she's like, I'm not going to be a dormant captain. What about being a kimono? No, I will not be a kimono. He's like, well, I totally agree.

You won't be a dormant or a kimono. So then downstairs, Jenna walks into the galley and she's like, all right. He's like, no, I'm not very all right. Custard cheeks. Elena just fucking spat chips at me big time. It's like, you know, with no inkling of prior unhappiness, except for the meeting that we had three hours earlier,

this is all coming as a big, big shock to me. Yeah. And, um, I'm sorry. He's like, yeah, you know, this is just unfair, you know? This is completely unfair. Now she's fucking complaining to the captain in the middle. I mean, that's not professional. You save it. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. So I need to be in a good head space. And this is just not what I need right now? I mean, what is this a wedding that I've already paid for that I've been left? I want it.

Captain Jason, he always calls me honey, baby, sweetie pie, sugar pie. It's humiliating. to me. What about good nicknames like good vegetable center? Bombing survivor milk drinker? Things like that that I was always called. Well, he shouldn't be calling you anything that you don't want to be called. You've got boundaries and you need to communicate those boundaries, but all communicate with him about that as well. And I think you need to go back in and create boundaries. That's what we're doing today. we're doing today all right today i don't even want you cutting cucumbers i want you creating banderies all right because i'm with you i understand i'll get to the bottom of it or i'm sorry that was a private

body pot i shouldn't have said that all right but i will get i will get to it don't you worry this is the most generic advice create boundaries i was like are you using cap gpt like why are you what is this It's like, how do I respond to an angry stew? Jason has this trouble. Yeah. Boundaries. I've heard the term before. Let's say boundaries a lot until she leaves.

I'll just keep saying bandarie. Jason, whenever a woman comes up there crying, just gets the same. He just doesn't know how to take it. It's so funny to me. And he's like, and she's like, thank you, Captain. I appreciate you. And he's like, no problem. Truffle Tom Soles.

Oh, damn it. Sorry. It really is addictive. It really is addictive. You know what? I'm shocked. I thought everything was fantastic down there and they're working well together last charter and I don't want to dismiss their feelings in a situation. However, I would like to watch Real House Sports of Salt Lake City. However, there's a time for everything, including watching South Salt Lake City and that time should be now and instead I'm not doing it. So the time

for this complaint is not 10 minutes before dinner. So I'm probably going to have to keep my head in the gallery a little bit, monitor this and make sure the food goes out and tempers don't go up and I'll do that by sitting in my room and watching TV instead. By the way, and speaking of Real House of Salt Lake City, just a little bit of inside, did you happen to see the video of Brittany Baceman trying on outfits that she posted just yesterday? Did you see that walking? What was that like? Was she crying? And do I need to set some boundaries? She was not setting any boundaries. Actually, the issue is that her boundaries were a little bit too wavy because basically she was, like, it was just a little silly video with like Sabrina Carpenter playing and she's like, try and

on different outfits. She's like, look at me in this outfit. And now this outfit and then this outfit. But what people noticed is that the walls behind her were starting to like wave a bit. So basically she had used AI to like either, I don't know, maybe look better or something. I don't know, but she was using AI to have this fashion video and everyone clocked it right away because like, uh, your door is squiggling. It's like it's so Britney Bateman. Like the ones Kim Zolziak used to make where she'd be all skinny, but then the walls bending in towards her. It's like, what an interesting shaped doorway.

That S-shaped door is so fascinating. It's a doorway for the letter S to come into your life. And as we all know, the letter S ends the word banderies. Let's create them. Let's create them. So Ellie comes back to the galley, and she's still pissed. And Ben's just like, oh, God, you know, he's just kind of going about his business. So Daisy comes in.

She's like, can I take out the secruitery now? And she goes into the walk-in, but she hears everything that happens. And Ben's like, you know, I don't really want to work around this energy tonight, all right? You know, it's going to affect me, all right? It's just going to affect me. I can't take it, cookie capillaries. Hey, welcome around your energy every single day, Ben. He's like, okay, that's great, but this is very different to how they act.

Snickers. Snickers. Get over it, Ben, okay? Get over and you run out of sexism. Cinesis, sinuses. I'm putting it in Snickers, sinuses. Get over it, Ben. So Daisy's just like making that face.

Like she's loving this, but, you know, also like trying to hide behind a charcutory board. It's like, never in my life. Have I seen somebody go with their boss in the galley like this? Never. So Ben's like, you see, I can't deal with what you're doing to me right now. Caramel cupcakes, you know. Oh, don't search you with me, Ben, and don't call me a caramel cupcake after you just called me a snicker, sinus is not right.

Cupcake isn't even a party part. You think I'm direct. This, this girl throws me out of the water with her direct mess. If you can't deal with it, then don't fucking start it. How about that? So the guests are just being, they're receiving a shakubri board from Ellie. I'm from Daisy. And Ellie is just like washing dishes. And she's just mumbling.

Look at you fucking waking all that. You've ever sold vegetables for milk? I don't think so. Maybe if you did, it's probably skim milk, not even the good milk. I wouldn't even give cucumber for this. So now we go to the guests at the bar and Daisy serving the charcutory. and Daisy is, she sees Jason, she's like, it's stance down there.

And he's like, yeah, well, guess what she needs? Banderies. She's got to set them. Banderies have got to be said. Well, I'm staying out of that. Halfless way to attempt for me. I really don't like confrontation like that, and I fucked Gary. So Jenna's like, what's your wish?

It's my command, does it? She's like, Tihin. Where's the Tahin? See, this is what I want for my team to be like, where's the Tahin? Now, that's a good boundary. A Tahin boundary. I like that for you. So back in the galley.

Pistachios are ready. Next task. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on there, my little candy cane coplia. All right? Oh, damn it. Did I just say that?

I didn't mean, all right? All right. Just hold on. Elena. Is that just your name, right? Elena. All right. Sorry that.

Let's stick with my first name. Yes, Elena. All right there, Snickledool Supreme. I don't know what is. That's not my name. So, who's the guests have, they're, everyone's changing to red. And Daisy's like, Alicia, go get started on the rooms. So they're sitting at for dinner.

And Daisy tells Mike to help Alicia with turn downs and everything. And we start, the food starts coming out. There's crispy pork belly. There's Brussels sprouts. There's an onion salad. There's a Parmesan crisp. It's all delightful stuff. Can I just say, I am so sick of Brussels sprouts.

They have had their day. Let them go. Okay? Everybody is still serving Brussels sprouts. It's like this trendy new thing. Do you remember when Brussels sprouts became like trendy? And everyone's like, oh my God, we hated them when we were young. But gosh, throw a little balsamic in.

I'm going to put them in the oven for a while. They are just delicious. They are not. They are not. I'm sick of everybody pretending they're good. They're not delicious. They're sour and they taste like pee. And they smell like pee.

And I don't want them. I'm sick of seeing them. Find a new vegetable. If they're roasted properly, they are absolutely delicious. I think if they're roasted and crispy and crunchy and like, but sort of softened inside, I think they're delicious. If they're undercooked or they're boiled, they're not great. But I will say, what I will say, though, okay, but what I will say is that the novelty of Brussels sprouts has sort of passed.

I think like, if I see them on a menu, I'm not necessarily being like, we got to get the Brussels sprouts. However, if we do get them, I'm always happy. But, I mean, right now, cabbage has really is having its moment. And that's basically like the bigger version of a Brussels sprout. It's just like a giant Brussels sprout. But cabbages, cabbage is where it's at right now. Cabbage is exciting.

Cabbage is good. Yeah, I'll go with that. It's like the new trendy thing. But Brussels sprouts, I just feel like it's over. You know, it's like shiplap in your house. It was cute.

It's time to end it. Do I blame Joanna Games for Brussels? Like Joanna losses. I could, though. Also, I'm sick of beet and goat cheese salads. They're everywhere, and they need. Stop.

Just stop. I've got some things. We need to find new foods. Okay. We got some. We got, okay, there's a lot to take in here. There's a lot to unpack here. He doesn't like beats, but maybe he could do a spin on this for some good BPM moments.

Okay. Wow. Here's, here's what I have to say. Beating go cheese salad, Brussels sprouts. Like, if you see it on a menu, it is dated. Like this is, it's dated. However, however, beaten goji sounds still kind of as delicious. Like, I mean, it can be.

I just need new things. And I think especially as like a pescatarian, there's not a lot for me to eat, which is my own fault, right? That's my choice. No, but I think that people, people, it's my choice, I should say. But people just are like, okay, well, just we need something vegetarian. So make Brussels sprouts and beaten goat cheese salad. And it's everywhere. And it's like, oh.

It's the novelty is gone. The novelty is gone. And like it's just, I think it's, I think both those dishes are honestly quite delicious. I'm always happy to have them. But maybe at like a potluck. I think if I'm going to a restaurant and I see it, I'm not as excited. That being said, there's a restaurant here in L.A. called Petit Choir and they have a beaten go cheese salad that I ordered.

And I was like, well, this is so 90s of me, but I'm going to order it anyway. And I was like, floored by how delicious it was. I was like, I told a chef, I was like, this is the best beaten, go-toe salad I've ever had, I feel like. So, like, it really can be transcendent, but it's just, it's not exciting anymore. And I think on a, on a yacht, just, I'm bored. Yeah. It's we just, we could be doing better. Yeah.

There's more to life. You know what I mean? So, Alicia is sent to do turn downs and then, yeah, you know, whatever dinner is served. So, um, Alicia is bossing Mike around, which he loves. It's like, let's be extraditional. on toilet paper and also like the side cabinets because that was feedback. It's like, from who? Who was that feedback from?

From a previous chart? Interesting. Very interesting, Alicia. So you'll be a stewardess in no time. Could me be teaching, teaching, teaching. He's like, ah. Can you say that to me? Then Jason is now doing this thing where he's like sort of standing in the doorway of the

galley, like looking in. Like, they can't sing. me and as long as they can't see me, I can't see them. I'm like, well, you both, actually, they can see you. They're not hidden. They're not hidden. They see you right there, Jason. Jason's way, he's like, oh, I'm going to go down to the galley and I'm going to deal with this right now. And then he just kind of stands behind the doorway and looks, and it's like, oh God, there any M&M's down here? There any? I'd like to calm things down. I'd like to offer you both something delicious eat.

This is a Chinese bowel. It does have some dairy in it. It's a dairy bow. like you call it a boundary boundary it's a boundary you got boundaries got a sit them all to sit them so jim and daisy are going over tomorrow's gay wedding that they're going to be throwing and uh we hear the guest one of them's like oh my god we're going to be wearing beige at our wedding because we're not versions and we're like oh my god that's hilarious gay people oh my god gay people am i right so then because you're not virgins doesn't mean you have to like then like your next option is beige might as well just go like a full red or something like that. Like you're released from the white.

Do something bigger. Like, you know what? To show our how sexy our love life is, we're going to wear beige. Well, I do have a lot of sex. So I'm not going to wear white, but I have sex with someone I, some old man I picked up at the Tommy Bahamas store. So it's going to be beige. It's going to be beige. Don't tell Alex McCord.

She may show up in a matching color. That's a throwback. Do you guys remember? I'll show us. You, Ronnie? Remember when Alex McCord wore beige to like a wedding in Quag or something in Julesarine? It's like, how could she wear the beige to the wedding? You can't wear cream colors at the wedding.

It's absolutely inappropriate. This is exactly what she would do. I'm sorry, Jol Zarin, you've been canceled from this recap. Sorry. Sorry. You've been canceled from that flashback that Ben just had. Well, but I didn't even say something. Why is it where we're only seeing beige outfits?

What happened to all the white outfits? What happened to all the white outfits? Am I supposed to understand all the beige? Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we cut to the guests, and yeah, they're still talking about beige because they're them. So then Daisy finds Mike and Alicia and orders some red wine and champagne for his turn down. And she's like, you gotta get this.

It's very important for a romantic turn down, okay? Red wine and champagne. And so Jason is continuing to kind of stand in the doorway, blinking blankly, and they're still serving food. This is Gruper with pistachio and roasted tomato. Now there. Thank you. There. There's something that's not Brussels sprouts.

Did you mean to serve a refreshing dish at last? Wow, you just lost Padma's culinary cup with your Brussels sprouts, but you won it back with a grouper. Congratulations. Stupid. All right, I've got a thought. All right, Joao, Zhuau, I might need a hand in here, please, because we need to, like, rotate these dishes, please. Ando, that is my job. That is my job rotating dishes. How dare you? This is my job rotating dishes. You will not give someone else my rotating dishes, job. When I was young, I used to rotate stones in the town square so I could buy myself heavy cream. It's a special time for me. When I was a child, I would rotate wishes. One wish was not to have to sell.

milk. The other wish was not to have to sell fruit. The other wish, it was a cycle. It was a cycle. I'm not going to lie. I once had to spend three full days rotating pebbles in town square just so I could afford pineapple. Yeah, all right, fine. Great. You do it. Why don't accept it? Okay, you're not going to do this shit to me. I don't accept that ever again. I am dis-rotator. I have to say it is it is inappropriate to sass off to your boss that way but I kind of loved it. I loved that she was like, oh no, no, no. You're not going to now start like pushing me out of my job. You're not going to start minimizing me.

You're not going to do this to me. I am like these are my responsibilities. Is this a mundane task of rotating dishes? Absolutely. But it is my task and you're not going to push me out of this. So I kind of like loved that she just like two feet down stood up for her. herself, even though professionally, probably not appropriate. I was cracking up because she just takes it so far.

But you know what? People like Ben, like he just laughs it off, you know, through most of it. And it's really getting to him. And it's funny. It's like you treat people how you want to be treated, I or teach people how you want to be treated, I guess. And she's definitely doing that. And we've seen, by the way, we've seen some of the strongest women on this franchise go out, Ben. We've seen Kate.

We've seen Hannah. We've seen whoever else. I think Ellie is the first person who has basically been able to just like, like, I'm not going to say shut up, Ben or silence Ben, but like really kind of halt him. I don't think he's ever been halted, even by Kate ever before. Daisy's pretty good. But they're dealing with you too. I have to say. Yeah.

Daisy's like, don't you get me that, ban. All right. Get your goddamn. Daisy's, God, I love Daisy so hard. So it's pretty good. You know, I think you're right, though. I think that she, Ellie is going too far and away, but it's also so fucking funny to watch because he really does not know how to deal with it.

And he's like, all right. Well, she goes, okay, do not fuck with me. I will do my job. So what do you need, please? And he's like, I'd like to scrape all of that red stuff into a clean bowl. Thanks. Rotate the place. Okay, I've got it.

chef. And also, label the laundry that was retroactive for Brie last season. As long as I'm in a roll. So, Daisy's like, oh, my gosh, the galley is so tense. Jenna's like, but who leaves done? Ever was Alicia not feeling comfortable in the galley? Plus, the sathergo not feeling comfortable. Who lives on?

I'm trying to work. I've got dinner, service to do. Quiet, Jenna. And now we go back to Mike and Alicia, and she's still bossing him around. She's like, remember to do the dayhead. I've done the dayhead. Did you definitely take a hand towel? Because I know that needs a new one.

He's like, Alicia's younger than me. She's a lot less mature than everybody on this boat. And she's already failing to get under my skin. When Alicia tries to delegate to us, I just can't take it anymore. It gets under my implants. So Lisa's like, I'm quite good at delegating because I know exactly what needs to be done. For instance, when cleaning a roof, You always leave a pan on top of the closet and a little bonbon at the bottom of the bed inside the covers where the feet are.

Well, I already worked for Daisy and trial. I don't need extra management. Mike needs management and I'm management. Are you able to make that box up to the primary? And he's like, oh, God, damn it. So he just goes off and we see a flashback of five seconds ago where Daisy's like, Godcha take some wine and champagne and flowers and some chocolates up to the... after the team's down or whatever. And Lisa's like, do you have the checklist?

Go get the checklist. And he's like, oh, two guys are busting me around them. But I feel like Alicia and Mike remind me of two kids at recess, like role playing like they're in an office, right? Like, you just see them like walking around the, like the playground. And one's like, I need my reports right now. It's like, I can't give you the reports.

It's like, but you need the reports. I'm your manager. And you're like, oh, that's cute. The kids are pretending like they're like having real jobs. But of course, their children have no idea what they're talking about. And I feel like that's what, that's what's happening with these two when she's like, our management, make sure you know what you're doing. Don't forget to wipe down the door knob and you have to use vegetable oil to do it to make it nice and shiny.

I don't want to be delegated about that. And they, they're both constantly trying to tell us that they know more than everybody, but neither one of them knows anything. It's so fucking funny. So now the tables are being cleared and chocolate fondant comes out. And everybody's like, oh my God, Ben is the best. He's up fast, yes. Ben is like beige. Ben is beige in a wedding.

The best. So then we go to the bar and Mike is asking Jennifer a tray. And she's like, don't take it like this there, just on a tray. You got to put something on it like a napkin and something. It's not going to look right. No, I'll put a cloth on it, darling, darling, darling. We got it. Okay.

All right. All right, Ellie. I'll be back in a little bit, boopsie snoot. Be it not going to be boopsie snout. Sorry about that. I meant baby gravy. What? Vibba gravy.

I'll stand two feet in it, baby gravy. Now, why are you saying those things? Somebody. There you drink. So he goes out and Alicia comes in and she said, are you all right, Al? Oh, I had blop with Ben. He goes, oh my God, honey, don't be so sensitive. And when he said that, I went off.

I said, don't you fuck with me ever again. I'm dis-rotator. I got it. That's why I couldn't do it. Also, I had no idea what to do in the kitchen. I put a knife in the cheesecake. They didn't like that. Well, I put him in place for both of us.

And so, at least he's, like, dancing and spanking herself. Like, yes, girl. So meanwhile, Mike is getting things ready still, but then he goes down to the pantry, and he's like, good, I'm thirsty all the time. I'm thirsty all the time. And then we just see him chugging, kind of leaning. around. Meanwhile, the guests are clearing and heading to the bed. Will everything make it to the room on time? So, Clay, who is basically like Nathan Lane's character in the bird cage, is like,

oh God, hey, um, we say there's no wine or champagne in our room. Can someone help us, Jenna? I'm so sorry. Is there some wine and champagne that you can get in here? I don't know why I give him a southern accent, but that was the vibe I suddenly felt fine. He's not southern at all. But Jenna's like, what the fuck she's like mac mac they don't have the champagne or the wine can you bring the champagne in the ice pocket and um jena's like you know that took a awfully long time to get hot spucket must be done mike before he gets his room like ask for help if you need help he's like yeah of course he's like she's like that so thirsty and she's like no mark come on bring it in there so of course he brings the stuff he brings the flowers and everything but like why did it take him so long they asked for that

so long ago how did he not bring red wine on a bucket of ice with champagne and they're down to the room right away. Because he's leaning and spraying his hair and drinking and just taking forever. So Daisy sees Jenna and she's like, what's the primary pussed off about the champagne? She's like, No, I have a self-confir the thing as I talk him time and managed to abandon off the bucket. For Foxxark.

Okay, well, Ellie, if I can explain why I wasn't myself today, cinnamon swivel, it's, well, sasparilla. It's because, you know, was the first time I didn't really have you helping me with food prep, and that was fine, because you were doing other stuff, like yelling at me a lot. That's why I was like in my head.

It reminded me of when I was throwing a wedding that I paid for, never attended myself. I'm more sensitive now. So how do you feel your reaction to it all was? Well, my reaction was justified because you are belittling me and I stood up for myself, which I will continue doing. Okay, well, glad we settled that one. Can you just go to bed, please, Toffee Tendin? Please. Don't tell me to get out of here. Well, when does your job finish? Duke Fluffinaca, nutter? When I clean up, it is finished. I'm like you, I don't leave the galley until it's fucking clean. Well, she's not going to, she's not even going to let him make up with her. She's like, Nope. I'm done.

He really thought like, okay, dinner service is done. Tensions can come back down again. Everything will be fine. She's like, no, I am completely justified. You shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch. So then he's like, okay, I guess I'll just go to my room now. It's like, are you angry right now? Are you angry?

Gigobisket. Like, don't you fucking try me, Ben. Don't shock fucking try me. He's like, are you threatening me now? I'm not threatening you. I'm just saying don't try me. I am like poisonous appetizer. Don't try me.

Oh, you are intimidating, and you're swearing at me as well, are you? You're swearing at me as well. Like, oh, shut the fuck up in. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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