Watch What Crappens - #3289 Summer House S10E9 Part One: Training Old Yeller

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

This is part one of a 2-part recapSummer House continues Kyle’s senior citizen party and West tries to explain to him that yelling at his wife and telling her to f off is a bad thing. Kyle cries and plays victim, of course. Then Lindsay has a housewarming and Dara confronts Baylie. Watch out! To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Watchwood Crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Owen. Oh, and there's Dominique. That's Dom. Someone who has not slept with Ben's best friend. Dominique, everybody. What a cute. Dominique, he just came in to say hello. He's like, are you starting? I was like, it's okay. You can come in. I didn't realize he was going to give a surprise kiss on the air.

It's so lovely. Well, good. You know, open us with some true love on this dark, dark summer house day. Welcome to Sabahausen. Just real quick, if you want this on video or you want bonus episodes, this week was a really long, really fun survivor recap. Or you want Discord server access to talk to everybody, listeners, Bravo fans. Or you want our free newsletter, which is a weekly blog making fun of Bravo shows. Just go sign up at patreon.com slash watch what crapans. And thanks so much to everybody who is over there.

We love you guys. This coming Monday is going to be crappy hour. live at 530 Pacific time, which I'm sure we'll be going over all this. Amanda West News and other stuff. And our Amazon lives are every Monday at 1.30 Pacific time. So there, there's all our plugs. All the plugs. Wow, we have more plugs than a Turkish hair process.

Yeah, we have more plugs than Mike on below deck down under. Yeah, I wish I could have landed that joke a little bit better. How can you land jokes when there's so much drama in there? Speaking below deck, if you didn't listen to our below deck episode yesterday, that was when we had our dun, dun, dun, dun, breaking news about Amanda and Kyle, I'm sorry, West. That Amanda's infamous IG story broke. She published it about five seconds before we went live. So we read it live on the air there.

We had our initial impressions. So if you want to hear what we felt like. if you want to hear the amount that we were gagged and cooped, you can listen to our below deck episode. But of course, we're probably going to be talking about this all week long and for the next several weeks, because it's now going to be a thing. And so today's headlines that I saw,

of course, I went to page six. And the first thing that I saw was that West was in a committed relationship with an influencer named Montana Girl. Oh, my God, you cheated on Montana Girl? on Montana girl. So now we can elevate this up to the level of affair. So congratulations to this, to this scandal. Second of all, Bethany Frankel weighed in.

Because page six for some reason tracks everything Bethany Frankel says. And she pretty much says things to be tracked by page six. So they have a great relationship. And basically, Bethany Frankel was like, what? There's like two single people that like made out that consenting adults. Like move on. Like what's the big deal? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Like, what, so what, who cares? Huh? What? I was like, okay. Typical, Hypocritical Bethany, who had a fit over multiple people dating Tom years ago. Yeah.

Typical Bethany, typical. I saw a, yeah, I saw a few things. I saw that West and Amanda have been dating for a long time. And not only that, he is not just with Amanda. He's with multiple people and was not dating anybody, really. So she's just kind of one of many. And then I saw Dave Portnoy. Did you see him?

Yes. I didn't watch it. I'm not going to sit and watch a Dave Portnoy video, but I did watch what, page six? I did. Someone sent a link to me, so I watched his TikTok. Because I don't know, I'm not like a barstool sports. I'm sure that I'm not in their, you know, desired demographic. Anyway, I don't think they're really coming from my viewership.

But I just don't watch it because it's like, dudes. It's like West. To me, it's like. thousands of Wests is how I think of it. I don't know if that's accurate or not, so I'm not dissing it. That's just how I think of it. It's like,

it's vintage Carl. Yeah, vintage Carl, vintage Kyle, that kind of guy. And so, remember, they used to wear the hats.

And Jacks wears the hats. So, no, that's where Saturdays for the boys came from, I think. I think that was a saying with Barstores Sports. Oh,

Saturdays for the boys. It's for the boys. Softer. That did not come from Barstall's sports. Softer. That came from. Softer. from like warm futon sports

car sports looking from carl sports carol sports so yeah I watched his thing I was cracking up he's sitting on a beach somewhere and he's you know like all Sunday he looks like a pirate

he looks like a weathered pirate and he's like yeah you know I'm not I'm not like that gossip queen kind of guy anymore you know because like I'm older like I'm sitting on a beach now trying to get some son. But you know, everybody's bothering me about this West thing.

You know, like, I don't know West. You know, I mean, I kind of know West because, like, we was trying to do a podcast with him and, you know, that girl. And it didn't work out because her agents are paining the ass. And anyway, uh, but you know, I knew about this West, Amanda stuff because, you know, Brianna chicken fry. There's a name you don't

hear every day. Brianna, you know, she told me, you know, at the Super Bowl. She was like, yeah, you know, that West is dating that Amanda girl, it's going to be a big story. I mean, I don't care. You know, like, I know that Tom Brady is dating, you know, the call a daddy chick. What do I care? So I'm not a gossip queen.

So that's neither here nor that. I love a straight guy, like, being like, I'm not a gossip queen as he gives you all the gossip. It's so fucking funny because straight guys are so like that, too. They're the best gossips. They are the biggest gossips. Straight men, that's where the gossip all lives. Always. They will gossip like crazy because in their mind, they actually don't think they're gossiping because they actually,

they actually think that women are the only ones who, capable of gossiping so for a man to gossip it's just like he's just relaying information yeah they do it their boobs have hair that that doesn't count that's weird yeah so anyway he goes on to say that brianna chicken fry told him that amanda and west were dating at the super bowl which was february 8th i looked it up so brianna chicken fry is a real name i thought i thought you just made that up first i know she's an influencer she's friends with west and she um She became famous to me because apparently she found like a bow on the ground and then got in a fight with a bathroom with a mom whose kid owned the bow. And she was like, you sold that bow for my kid.

She's like, I fuck you, lady. And she's like telling off the lady and think that she's doing something. But she like looked like a crazy idiot. So that's really all I know of her. And that she's an influencer. She has 1.1 million followers on Instagram. Huge. Yeah, she's huge.

More than anybody on Summer House, I think, right? well probably you know current cast hard to say hard to say but uh she's huge how can you not be huge with the name like chicken fry I mean I'll follow you

I don't even eat chicken I'll follow I'm down I'm down for I'm proud of her peanut butter on a bagel that's going to be my new name I'm gonna get so many followers

will be Ben and Ronnie side sauce oh my god so um okay so anyway he said that he's that Brianna said she saw those two were dating. She knew that those two were dating all the way back at the Super Bowl, which was February 8th. And Dave went on to say, yeah, and you know, like, he was there at the Super Bowl with Sierra. So that's like a big huge thing because he was like, so apparently what I've heard is that Sierra was dating West. Like she decided to give him another chance and that they were kind of dating and that he, but the whole time he was banging Amanda. So listen, I don't know. I don't know what's, true and what's not because now information's literally just flying out there, you know? Yeah.

This is everything is, uh, everything is coming at full speed. And it's very intense. And we'll give you all the headlines as we hear them and we will regurgitate them. And, uh, we'll, of course be waiting for a brian chicken fry to weigh in because I'm sure she'll have something to say. But, um, this is, this is going to be an ever evolving story. And it's going to get worse and worse. And of course, Andy today on Twitter was like, well, tweet me your questions for the

summer house reunion, which I was cracking up at because he knows it's going to be a flood of like hilarious questions and shady questions. He just, he's such a hilarious, Vengali, you know, the scandal breaks and he's like, let, send me your questions. I'm like, I don't know, and you can see it has this big smile on his face. And he is going to go to town on West. I think it's great. Andy, Andy has different demeanors on different reunions. and when it comes to like the youngen reunions like Vandamp Rules and Southern Charm and Summerhouse, even though they're not so young anymore. To him, they're still like the kids.

He does not give a fuck. And he will, he is going to, I think he's going to really destroy West. I mean, he'll go after Amanda, but he's going to really go after West. No, Amanda's going to do a lot of crying. Everyone will feel bad for Amanda. She's crying. Yeah. I saw that Amanda lost a huge influence.

Declosure deal yesterday. They came out and they were like, whatever. New same, same cute clothes, new influencer. And they dumped her. And they had just launched. I mean, Amanda, Amanda, leave it up to Amanda to launch an influencer campaign. And then 30 minutes later, go on and release that statement. Like, what an idiot. And then Lindsay posted, Lindsay posted some douchebag from Love is Blind. And she goes, is this this PR person? Because I guess he's like one of the most hated people in the country right now. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Well, also, I did think it was curious that they released their joint statement on the day that Summerhouse airs. Normally, if people, like, I don't know, I'm just, I'm surprised they didn't bury it. Like, I'm surprised they didn't, like, drop it on, like, Easter Sunday when people might be distracted to do. Like politics. That's what they do with politics.

You know, they're like, put it on Friday night. And then by the time Monday comes around. nobody will be taught. But you know what? I have to think these people are so stupid that they really thought this would help. I mean, maybe they thought, like, maybe West thought, oh, I'm caping. You know, I'm like saving this poor girl. And then Amanda's like, well, everyone will feel for me because, you know, I was going through it with Kyle. I don't know. Yeah, because why else would you drop an influencer campaign and then that? I think that like, yeah, because as we're about to get into, because we are actually going to recap Summerhouse, you know, Amanda,

is like the show with Amanda and Kyle is dark. And so maybe they're thinking, okay, people will be mad at me for a few hours. And then they're going to watch Summer House and be like, oh, I see why she did what she did because she was in a desperate place and she was really sad. You know, so maybe she waited for the most dramatic, the most Kyle being horrible episodes to finally release it. Because then she's like, oh, well, but then they'll see Kyle being so horrible to me. Yeah, that makes sense actually politically. But instead, all it did was. make the whole thing feel cringy. And what I will say is that it did remind me of Scandevall

in that we were watching something that was edited and presented to tell one narrative, but we know a different narrative in real life. And gosh, that's fun. It's cringy and it's fun. Well, you know, I'm frankly sick of these people lying and I'm sick of it. I've had it. I've had it with their privacy and they're like, we don't owe you this. Yes, you do owe us. You are on fucking TV. You owe us at least not lying. You know what I mean? And you guys lie all the time, especially you, Amanda. Amanda just went through this whole big thing with Kyle, where she was leaving Kyle and everybody's like, oh my God, did Amanda leave Kyle? She's like, no. She's making like joke posts on Instagram like, oh, I just moved into the dog house, because she wasn't ready

to come forward about it. No, you are on a reality show. You're making us sit here through this shit for year after year after year. You owe me this. You will tell me. So I think people are getting sick of them lying all the time and hiding things. And we're tired. We will follow you now. People are following them through the streets. We're done. We're done.

I have to say something that's really distracting to me is that the new iOS has this thing where it puts like a little slideshow on your desktop. And it just like changes the photos throughout the day, you know? I want that. No. It just does it. No, like on my distance. on my laptop on my on my that's your macOS not your i'm my macOS i'm sorry more like lyos

um but there's like oh my god it's 111 good luck good luck i wish for five million dollars okay go ahead it's actually 11 11 over here so it's almost like one more one than you that's quadriple lock oh my god like i literally have given so much to have that extra one and like it's fine i walk so that one could fly um whole point of the stupid thing I'm talking about is that um is that on the desktop there's this like little slide show that happens in the background i think it's just to be like hey remember this and there is a shot from one of the crappies where ariana was on and she is looking over at you in the photo but the window that we're recording on is covering up you and it looks like she's just

listening to you talk right now about summer house and it's just smiling and it is the funniest thing And I'm going to show, I'm going to show what this looks like because I keep on laughing at this, like, this is, this is what it looks like on my screen right now. It's just Ariana staring at us as we talk. Like, you guys, you guys don't even know what you're, what, what this is like, these scandals with my 30,000 water bottles in front of her. Yeah, they probably start thinking about how that looks. Yeah, so this is pretty crazy, this Amanda West stuff. Just for those of you who didn't listen to the blow deck, don't want to go back to listen to that. I think the basic feeling is fuck these people.

You know, how dare you? I knew West was trash, obviously. I've been saying it for years. That guy's trash. I don't believe a thing that comes out of his mouth as far as all of this. Like, I want Sierra. He's doing it for TV. He's fucking Amanda to get on the city.

No one can tell me otherwise. And we discussed a little how West. is not getting it as bad as Amanda. And I was saying, I think it's because this ultimately is about a girl friendship betrayal. I think no one cares about Kyle. Kyle deserves whatever. Amanda can fuck whoever she wants as far as I'm concerned with Kyle. Like, I'm not worried about Kyle's feelings.

For this, this is, you just betrayed a friend who stands up for you, even in this episode. She's the one you told you you should leave your damn husband. She wouldn't have told you that if she had known that you were going to go fuck her ex without telling her about it. So I think ultimately this is about just a bad, rotten betrayal. And I think it sucks. I think it sucks too. Yeah, and I don't think anyone feels too bad for Kyle. Because I don't know if Kyle, I don't know how much Kyle cares.

He was on Watcher Happens Live last week. And Andy asked him, like, if it's true, what would you say? He's like, uh, that'd be crazy. But like, if Amanda did that, then, I mean, if it made her happy, I guess I'd be okay with it. Now, easier said than done. I don't know if he still feels that way, but part of me feels like Kyle would be more than happy just to have Amanda out. Like, just be like, fine, give her someone else. Move on to someone else and I can move on.

And now I can start banging chicks and people won't get mad at me. Yeah, Kyle is happy. But Kyle should be sending them thank you cards because the whole internet's been like, fuck you, Kyle, for the last, you know, few weeks, especially the last two weeks. So, yeah, Kyle's like, I was like, thanks Amanda. Yeah. And including in about 30 seconds, when we actually start to recap the show, we will now resume our previously scheduled Kyle Bashing. But he's pretty unflappable. I think that Kyle just goes forward.

I mean, we've said so much shit about him. And then when we see him in person, he's like, hey, guys. You know, like, okay, cool. You know? So I think he's just going to be like, wow, that sucks. Yeah, he's unfappable. I think he's going to be like, bro, that was like not, that was like not cool. but I'm not going to get mad of you.

I'm just going to drink a little bit more. Yeah, but it's this whole episode. He's like, Kyle, why is? Everybody's so mad at me. Nobody thinks about how shitty Amanda is. And it's like, well, you're a gift. You know, if anybody's good at manifestation right now, it's Kyle. Kyle is winning the manifestation game. Yeah, he's Amanda Fest.

Okay, let's get into it. Summerhouse, Season 10, episode nine, Rinkus, and Rose. And we're still in the middle of this. Golden Girls kind of party where everyone's dressed like Miss Doubtfire to certain degrees. And Jesse is like,

hey, grandpa's got to give everybody their medicine. He's like pouring people booze into their mouths. And Lindsay's on a scooter and she's going around and they're just all doing, they're all being wacky and just sort of, we're hearing just like fragments of funny things that they're saying. You know, Mia's like, can I take a little shot

or something? Well, what about my insulin? So it's like fun times. It's like wacky, old people. you know, jokes. And so KJ jumps in the pool. And Dara's like, oh, my God, I can't. No, literally, look at me. Like, he looks insane. Like, look at him. Like, look at his stupid face. That was just me, like, bullying out of love. Love it. Bullying Dara. Drowl, KJ. Drow. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. Love you, honey. I'm bullying. I'm going to cook you something later. So Carl and Kyle sit down.

And again, I just am really amused that like Kyle had to apply all this stuff to make himself look like an old man. Like he has hair coming out of his ears. He has a gut. They put gray all over the place, big bushy eyebrows, like a mustache. They had to do everything to make him look older. And Carl just had to put like some baby powder in his hair. It's like, wow. We're some sunglasses.

People like, yep, that's it. Roll it. Roll it print. The new cast of Kakuna's here. I'm also happy for Carl and all of this because, you know, Carl's had an extremely boring half a decade on the show. And God bless his heart. And he finally has a meme that's gone viral this year, which is him in the office. I think when Kyle is talking about his money problems and Carl's just like giving this face. Like his face is scrunched up like he's confused.

And confused Carl has taken over. I see it on every summer house thread. They start with that. It's become the new Nini. You know how Nini painting the doll Giff is around forever? So that's the Carl version. And Carl got to post that this week. That was his response to all of this.

Was the confused old man, Carl. So I was Bradford him. I was thinking, you know what? He's bored the hell out of us. But God, he at least got a meme out of it. Good for you, Carl. He's been on a journey, this Carl, this Carl, Carl, Radgey guy. So Carl's like, whoa, oh, so if you had all,

the way back. That would be amazing. Your, your legs aren't even touching. Oh, look at you. Look at that. Whoa. Wow. Because like, yeah, you like my legs a little bit? Like, yeah, okay. Well, um, so, uh, can we like have serious like bro to bro man to man talk? He's like, yeah, man. I feel like my heart's going to like pop off my body because you know what I mean? I feel like the last eight months. You know, I've been like a little preoccupied trying to keep it together. You know what I'm saying? He's like, he's so funny because he's like, yeah, yeah, having a good time. Party. Party. Let's talk serious. Okay. It's popping. I feel like I'm going to die, man.

Like, he goes immediately into staring at the wall mode. You know, he's like, I can't even move, man. Well, you know, like last night, like, I think I've been in my own little world due to soft bar T. Yeah. I wanted to clear the art, you know, it's like hard to concentrate. All I hear is. Thoughts an espresso machine. So anyway, you know, like the investment, I just wanted to warn you, the investment thing has come up among folks.

you know, new Carl says things like folks. So I was just a little sad about it, to be honest, because like, I remember back when you were getting lover boy going and like, obviously I believed in it. I want to support you. And I know it was an ton of money back then, but, you know, with inflation, like, that would have been like $30,000 now. So, oh. Yeah, but you like, you've given me like so many opportunities professionally on just like being so supportive. So like having you involved in some ways, it's like, it's like a. It's important to me, you know?

And like, I'd love to have you come by a soft bar. And I'd make you one of our specialties, which is a virgin vodka water. So just let me know if you want to come by. Look. I was like, at the very least, I'd like to see you walking around in a $10,000 investment softbar hat. That would be great. Do you remember what is like investor gifts were listed on the internet? It's like $10,000.

You get a cap. $20,000. You get a cap and a pencil that says soft bar. Oh. Steve Sanders would do it. I mean, he bought that bowl for $5,000 on Merit to Med. So Kyle is like... But they need to try to not pay for a latte.

He'd be like, how dare you trying to charge me for a latte? Wacking it's not how it works. You get a free... You get a free latte. You get a free latte. It's not how it works. I'm obsessed as Steve. I am targeted.

I'm specifically targeted. I could just watch. Someone please make a meme of Steve wagging his figure. This is my favorite thing. So I was like, well, look, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. You bet on me? I want to bet on you, but my wallet's way too deep in Loverboy, way too deep.

I was like, whoa, is the business actually in trouble folding? Are you saying that your non-brick-and-mortar is going to fold before my brick and mortar? Lindsay, did you hear about it? Yeah, last month alone before our loan payment, we lost 175 grand, and our loan payment is 50 grand every month? Whoa, wow. So if you don't find another partner in the next few months, is that it? Is that it for love or what? Thank you.

Hallmark Christmas movie premise line coming in. Like, that's how every Hallmark movie starts. If we don't find a partner in the next few months, we're going to lose the business. What are we going to do? I don't know. But I'm going to go home to my childhood home to attend to the hotel that's been in our family for generations

and see if we can fix it. I'm going to put on a DJ show, my daddy's hotel. That'll bring him in. Against all arms. comes in. Yeah. Yeah. And that is kind of what he's been doing.

He's like, well, business is feeling, let's put on a show. You know, it's got the DJ thing going on. He's like, yeah. But Carl's got to be thinking. White Boy Christmas. A very white Christmas. The whitest Christmas starring Kyle Cook. I'm dreaming.

Oh, Christmas. Snow. Now that song, Snow has a very different meaning. with the summer house cast snow snow snow oh commercials here comes one right now yeah level boy goes bankrupt he's like oh my god six months 12 months 18 months 24 months 30 months I'm just going Carl stop counting sixes too much Carl we get it you understand your sixes hmm I don't know a lot mouth you know when you're running a right my mouth

on you count everything about six, six minutes, 12 minutes, 14 minutes. That was soft math. That was soft math. Without a calculator. Yeah, well, I'm going to try and have fun. Like, you know, it's like I have three months to live. I'm an old man. That's how I feel.

That's how I feel, Carl. Whoa, I don't think I realize. Like, I mean, I know, obviously it's been a roller coaster, but oh, is it, is baddest brick and mortar? Bro, it's like the most stressful thing you can imagine. I don't think Amanda even understands. or appreciates the current state of affairs. God.

Yeah, but like in worst case scenario, if a lover boy weren't to make it, like you still have each other, right? He's like, uh, I don't know. Yeah, cool. So, not good talk.

Not good talk. Okay. I'll get that $10,000. You know, Carl's probably thinking, look, your business is going to fold anyway, so just give me $10,000.

You're putting $10,000 into this sinking ship isn't going to help anything, but it's going to help me a lot. So can I get that? $10,000 please. And if I teach, you should just say that. Like, look, bro. The lover boy dream is dead.

Okay. Lover boy is dead. Believe in soft bar. I still don't think that he owes Carl any of that. I think he gave Carl so much money to work at that job when Carl was clearly not doing his job and earning it that I think I think Kyle's actually being somewhat nice here by not pointing any of that out. I actually agree.

I think this is what we said last week, which is that, Like, if Kyle were a mensch, he would do it. Like, he doesn't have, he's not obligated to do it. And he, if you, he did it, it would be a very lovely thing to do. But he has helped Carl so much. And, I don't know. Although, has he? Because, you know, when Kyle's like, I'm on your board of advisors, uh, for your brand.

By the way, mine's about to tank and go belly up. So. Yeah. Not all help is good help. It's like, I helped you put out the fire at your house. Dude, you were throwing gasoline off. it. Well, still, it was wet. I thought it was helping. So I tried. So KJ is now talking to Dara, and some guy is talking to Sierra. And he's like, oh, my God, your boobs are so exposed

because she's wearing the big old lady bouncy booby rack. And he's like, can I touch him? And so meanwhile, Jesse and Lindsay go to talk. And she's like, I'm looking for a sugar nanny. Like, that's amazingly what I'm here for. Like, just had a baby. Now I'm looking for a sugar daddy. And he's like, all right, I told you. I'd find you an old timer. And we have a flashback to them talking about that.

And Jesse's like, hey, by the way, that guy over there, he looks like you could have a bit of money. He's awkward, strange. No one's talking to him. Which means he's probably someone who's really nerdy and made a lot of money with a startup. Let's go talk to him. They just picked the nerdiest guy they can. They're like, let's go for it. And it's like, I'm an ice.

Good one. She looks like I'd break him in half. Let's do this. So they go up to him and we see some flashbacks of her terrible relationships. And she's like, may as well get some money out of it. So she goes up to him and he's like, hey, oh, hey brother, I'm Jesse. Want to talk to a hot lady? Okay, Brandon, good to meet you. This is Lindsay. She's like, I'm Doris. Nice to meet you. Are you rich?

Because I just got myself an enormous apartment that I probably can't afford and I need some to actually fund it, please. He's like, do I look rich? Yeah, you look rich. Well, great. That's the goal. Do you go to Vegas? I want a guy who goes to Vegas.

It's like, no, I don't. Do you? She's like, I love this lots, honey. She's like, are we role playing? Are you asking me seriously? It's like, are we role playing? Am I supposed to be getting a bono right now? And he's like, well, you dress nice and you have night shoes and a nice wand.

Uh, thank you. Yeah. Why did you? He's like, oh, I'm good friends with, uh, Carl. Oh, well, you should have led with that sweet art, Jesus. She's like, never mind. So Amanda's walking with your friend. I felt bad for the guy because at some point, Lindsay, it cuts to Lindsay and she's like, um, well,

I don't need a hot guy. I was like, geez, this poor guy catching strays. He's just trying to come to a party. Yeah, she just has made that pivot where she's like, yeah, I got the baby. I took care of that part. I just need someone to fund the lifestyle. KJ is talking to West and Dara and KJ's like, West, man, I can't believe you did the splits, bro. The vibes were off without one, bro.

The splits man. Wow. And Dara's like, yeah, I'm worried. One day you're just going to do the splits and you're just going to stay down. And West is like, oh, well, I do think that like after four weddings last summer and I do them drunk and I was just like ripping it and I just think I have a stress fracture in my right femur like I'm cute and adorable was today fun so far she's like yeah it's been fun except for kia jumping in the pool and almost drowning what she did you just got bullied I love you yeah everyone's

been great the only negative feedback I have at this point involves people who are not currently here so we'll address that when they're here her name rhymes with a flailie okay so she's uh she's off about Bailey because Bailey said, you know that she was in Ben's bedroom, like she went in her costume and she came out in a different outfit. God, I wish I could flirt. So then Lindsay's like,

well, according to Bailey, Dehara went into Ben's room for like an hour. And Darrow is now like priority number two. In the city, coming soon to Bravo. I'm going to sit down and have a conversation with Bailey so that she understands that you can't just make up random facts that are not actually true at all,

which would not bank it a fact, but that's fine. But besides, besides that, you know, if I could always be in an older woman outfit, just twerking my ass off, I think that's how I would choose to go out. Old people just got bullied by Dara, the bullymeister. So then Carl is in his room texting, and he's like, oh, hey, oh, God, how do I say this?

Hold on, you can do this, Carl. You can do this, okay. I wish you were here this weekend I did it I did it It was hard But I'm getting back out there Yeah

I feel like a little just kind of weird Maybe it's because I'm walking around In my underwear in this party But the conversation with Kyle I don't feel like anything really got accomplished She was just like bitching Like what was me And it's just like a thing that Kyle does

Unlike me who just sort of bitches To some people quietly and then mopes around And then waits for someone to ask Something what's wrong you know And it's how he controls those conversations. So, got to vent to Bailey. So Bailey texts him back and she's like, me too. Don't have too much fun without me.

Smiling face. P.S. The smiling face was flirting. Did you get it? Was that good? Was I flirting? It's my story. You know me?

Carl having too much fun without someone Radke. Oh. I kind of wish Bailey was here. I'm a mom. Maybe she would distract me from this. I just need a friend. Someone who's cute. Something.

I wish Bailey was here. Dress like my mom. Is that weird? And I can be like, hey, mom, meet my other mom. Sharon, meet Sharon. So speaking of which, now, by way, this is a great sign for Bailey because normally when someone does not get to come out to the summer house because they are quote unquote taking care of stuff in the city this weekend, we don't see them at all. They're just like, they just don't exist. But Bailey gets the rare scene in the city while everyone is at the summer house thing over the weekend.

And I was very proud of her for this. They're committed. They're committed to Bailey. So she calls her mom and her mom's in the country. And Bailey is like, what country? She goes, our country? Are you pretending to be like outdoorsy for this man or something? And she's like, yes, something like that.

I am. I'm pretending to be outdoorsy. Okay. It's great. How are you, honey? Well, it's very like, you know, when Aiden takes carey out to the country, I'm about to feel like film some It Girl interviews, you know? She's like, well, you seem so busy. How's the sharehouse? Well, it's really good. And I'm just like trying to date again, which is weird.

And I'm like trying to flirt, you know? So like the other day, I went up and found a volleyball and I liked it. And I said, was that hot for anyone? And no one responded. Oh, honey, you're still going with that flirting story? Like, yes, mom, I've tried to flirt. Okay. I called you from the bench in New York City to tell you, I'm trying to flirt. Okay. So then we see a flashback to Carl being like, are we flirting now?

She's like, are we? I think we're flirting. I think so. I think we're doing pretty good. Oh, good guard clause from flirting. So then Sarah's like, is anybody cute, anyone you like? Yeah, there's Carl. He's sweet.

He's six, five, huge guy, like a teddy bear. Also, just as furry. Just like the sweetest, nicest man in the world. But I'm also like, I haven't had a boyfriend since I was in the worst relationship I've ever been in. And I'm just a lot more fearful that I thought I was going to be. Well, I got some really good advice not too long ago from someone that I really admire. You. Me?

Yeah. And that is, if you're the same person in that relationship, then you'll have the same relationship. So it may not be like that. You don't have to be, you don't have game, but maybe it's just that you're not so enamored with the red flags anymore. Okay, well, thanks. I've needed this talk. That was great advice. Okay. Wow. I hope you have a great time. I, uh, you look great today. Wait, was that flirting, honey? It was flirting. It was flirting. Finally. Finally.

So then, uh, we go back to the birthday and, uh, Ben checks in with Kyle. And the guys are all hugging. He's like, happy birthday, mate. You all right at fucking 43, 40 fucking three. All right. Is that, yeah, it has been a rough couple of weeks. I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. It's like, well, has someone got an erection right now? And I guess maybe that was a callback to when he got a boner during their game that they played. Now Jesse's friend Maggie arrives and hey Maggie, how you're doing?

How's it going? Maggie's like, hi, I'm Maggie. And then they go inside and he's like giving her a tour. And he's like, yeah, this is a hallway and this is a bedroom and here's my bathroom and we can make out. He's like, you know, I was trying to date different types, a different type of girl. I date these very sweet, bubbly corporate girlies, but Maggie's so nice and we have good conversations, so I'm trying not to judge too quickly.

I'm like, yes, I'm so glad you change up the type of girl you normally go after, which is a tiny little blonde girl. It's good to see if some variety. Tiny a little blonde girl in her early 20s. Yeah, you're really stretching there, Jesse. Yeah, I'm really going to be something different. Just Lexi, but without the mom and sister, you know.

So then Carl sees them And he's like, oh, you guys are like, cute, that's all I've got to say And Lindsay outside is like, I'm excuse me, I'm looking for a sugar daddy Someone's like, this guy's got old money. He's like, do you have a yacht? And he goes, no. His friend's like, he's got a rowboat. It's like, I have a car act.

She goes, oh, I don't know if that's going to get it. And then we get such traditional Kyle and Ben, well, Kyle peeing at on the side of the party And this time, Ben is next to him. And God's like, I mean, I've seen some dicks, but you call that a dick. He's like, oh, I'm looking on it. Like, why? You've got like that entire lawn. Why are you guys being directly adjacent to each other?

It's like, guy. It's like what you do and you're a guy. You go and you pee right next to each other and you look at each other's wiener. Whether you're gay or not, you're just, it's important. It explains a lot about a man's personal or his psychology, you know? Yeah, I guess. The wiener affects a man's brain. You know a man's weiner.

You know his personality. So then Sierra and Mia are sitting outside and talking about it. And Sierra's like, God, Amanda's the best old person. And he's like, oh my God, hub. So they're like watching her like shuffle around and whatever. And Mia's like, me as like saying, you know, Amanda was upset earlier. She was feeling like everyone was talking about her.

So then Lindsay sits down. She's like, oh, well, no, gossip session. How your titty's feeling, Sierra? She's like, yeah, they're heavy. She was like, so what are we gossiping about? like, well, we're talking about Kyle and Amanda and Ben was saying to me that he's on the line for a lot right now, like the lover boy of it all. She's like, what's going on with love boy? It's like, so when we see that Kyle's on the line for like millions of dollars. Yes. And so Sierra tells her that. She's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I don't care, like I don't care how much you're on the line for. You still don't need to talk to your wife that way. And that's an. And that's an acceptable, period. Well, do you think that the state of lover boy finances will affect Amanda? And she's like, yeah, they don't have a pre-up. She's like, oh, right, right. You just see on

Lindsay's face because Lindsay was like, get a pre-up. Get a pre-up, stupid. So Sierra's like, well, if he's on the line, then he should be on the line. And she's like, oh my God, this is worse than I ever thought. I'm totally going to go mess around with him. So then, um, Lindsay's going back to her sugar daddy thing, which is getting pretty old pretty quickly. And then Ben goes up to a table. He's like, does anyone want some of the word? There's originals. I got them by the heaps.

Thank you. That was a model making a joke. It's so nice to always get that applause. Thank you. So now they're meeting a girl named Hannah. And West is like, um, this is Ben. He's Australian. He talks funny.

He's like, hello. She's like, bring it. and sexy. It's like, oh, I'm meeting amazing people, but I'm definitely distracted. I keep thinking about the last person I dated that I never really broke up with just to be on this show and I'm pretending to be single, even though I've been dating this girl the whole time. So we see clips of this girl, and he's sticking with his story that she just loved him too fast, and he couldn't take it.

So he backed away. He's copying the exact same story from... As Andrea. Andrea. The exact same thing. We're not buying this again. foreign model loves someone from afar um the other thing is uh that they they as an example of their love we see this picture of them he's shirtless they're in bed and they're making out and i'm like who took that photo yeah i was like you so you guys were making it and he's like wait a second we have to take a photo with this so he clearly stuck his hand up man took a picture of them making out in bed this is no one

I just I can't stand that I can't stand it because the picture is supposed to imply like oh you just caught us oh my God I'm so sorry

that was my phone I thought it was on my brain The terrorism unit It was C to you You've got one hour The terrorists are coming It really It literally is the ringtone from 24

It's Chloe calling There's not a perimeter Jack I am against that a permanent. The point is that I just think it's so, it's so affected when people do that, you know? Oh my gosh. It's like the performative, like, look, we're so in love. I'm taking a picture of us.

Also, I could tell that he took it because she looks terrible in it, and he, of course, looks hot. You know, she's like, hers is the one that's like, neck is twisted all weird and, like, she looks horrible, and she's a gorgeous lady. So anyway, I don't believe a thing Ben says, and I'm not into his whole standing up for Kyle and giving Kyle excuses. So Ben's kind of dead to me already.

Yeah, he has actually rub me the wrong way. I think that, you know, I think that the veil has dropped, you know, his like, oh my God,

I'm just a nice girl. I don't know what to. It's like, okay, you had a girlfriend all this time. Turns out you're actually kind of a dick. And we see that next week, he once again berates someone.

Actually, this time Amanda about a joke. And, um, yeah, I think that he just is, uh, he has a mean eyes.

He does have really, he has mean eyes, I think. So, Yeah, there's something cold in his eyes. I don't like it. So then Hannah tells him, oh, my God, you got lipstick on your teeth. Is that just like an Australian thing?

He's like, oh, I know. So then Maggie and Jesse are talking. Maggie's the new Lexi. And it's like, did you want to know something crazy? There's like a bug in my drink and I'm still drinking it. That's crazy. So then he's like, by the way, there's a restroom in here unless you want to see my room. I'm saying, yeah.

So they go on into the bathroom. It's good that you don't mind bugs when you're dating at the summer house gas. Eo. You're going to need that attitude, Maggie. Keep it up. So they go make out in the bathroom or something. And then they're saying things like, kitties? So then we go to Sierra and she sees Jesse and Maggie walk by.

And Jesse's like, um, this is it. This is my bad. That's west bed. You look at the party while you pee. Let's go kissy, kissy, kissy. She's like, oh, God. So then we, they come out of the bathroom and she's like, oh my God, Grandma, you're looking better and better.

Yeah. There's more party stuff. And then eventually West pulls Kyle for a conversation near the DJ booth. And West is like, do you remember last night at all in any capacity? And West, who made a whole thing last week about like, I hate confrontation. When it comes to doing like what's right with like a friend, not like we'll totally do it and now he's sitting here and he's like can't even look high on the eye he's just like looking at a spot on the floor and so and karl does his immediate depression thing where he's like yeah yeah sure

i'll tell you what's up bro yeah i'm really depressed you know i'm just trying to compartmentalize if i can be honest i don't know what triggered me because there was so much just built up and he hangs his head he's like well i'm just sad it's if kyle is if kyle's compartmentalized one of those compartments has some old tuna in it because like that lid comes off it's like oh god here we go again. So West is like, well, I know there's like lots of layers and depths to your relationship. But this was like the only time where I thought like objectively like you were being unnecessary because like nothing happened. And like that was just like black and light like not the right thing.

And but like you like that cannot be like the correct way for you get shut off your chest. And like that was bad. Like please don't be mad at me. Don't be mad at me. Please. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's scary.

So then in another part of the party, Sierra and Mia are talking. to Amanda and she's like is anyone seeing Kyle and they're like I don't know and Sierra says has he apologized to you or not she goes well I don't even know if he remembers what he did but no back in the DJ booth well I'm sorry that you guys had to be subjected to that and if I can be honest I'm basically falling apart it's like no well tell her that though for starters say say I'm sorry I didn't mean that I should not have talked to you got talked to you like that's 100% I feel bad good

I just, I get a little fucking selfish when she has fun with everybody else. Other than me and I'm like, I'm a DJ. There's the excuse. Couldn't just be like, yep, I'll apologize. It's no, because she has fun with everybody but me. And West is like, no, no, I hear you. Look, I know you're frustrated, but like, we've got your back. Like, we're your friends, you know, bro.

And he's like, yeah, you guys have no fucking idea. You have no idea. Hold on. I'm getting in my head literally. So Lindsay's like, does Amanda know about the other stuff that you found out today? And here's like,

I mean, I was like, oh my God, you're making me nervous. And so Mia's like, well, you need to say it. It's like, well, I was having a conversation earlier and I guess he told West that lover buyer only had like three months of payroll left and then he told Ben that he's person responsible for $2.1 million.

And Lindsay's like, because I know you never signed a pre-up like I recommended, right? Right? No. And so I don't know how that affects you. You're fucked. And she's like, when Kyle took out the small business loan,

like it was a conversation he had with me, like, after. And like, he's an entrepreneur. So, like, I don't question his business. Like, why would I? I don't know anything. I'm just a graphic designer. I'm an artist. Okay, don't act like you have not been told this a million times.

We saw on camera. Your own family was like, Do not marry this man without a pre-up. What are you not? It was Bose giving her a lecture. Don't marry him. You're not being authentic. Nobody understands what your business is.

What is this lover boy logo that you stole off the internet? Come on. How could you say that, Bose? I said nothing. What are you talking about? So Amanda is like, I just don't have the answers. I feel like I'm just kind of, you know, going into the motions.

He's like, yeah, just in limbo. So she says they have separate bank accounts. They just sort of never really merge together. And like what's happening right now just isn't good. And Sierra's like, you know, but at the same time, it's not related to how he's treating Amanda and like the fuck you's and the lashing out. That's unacceptable. And they basically like rally around her. Like, you know what?

Like you shouldn't do this. Like stop letting him say, do that shit to you. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve someone being like called fuck you. Saying fuck you. And it's just like watching this is painful because you just see the way, you know, um, Sierra. And me, too, but primarily Sierra is being such a good girlfriend to Amanda. And just knowing where this is all going to actually lead to is so disappointing.

Yeah. And then we go back to the guys. And West is like, just talk to us and we'll talk to you. I mean, don't take it out on Amanda. Like, just say sorry for that, please. Okay. Say you're sorry. And, you know, he's like, this is not kill the party.

Okay. He goes, just say you're sorry and go to bed. And like, don't try and justify stuff to her man. okay. You know, like, offer, offer her my penis. Just say, Amanda, I'm sorry. West has a penis too. If you'd like to, I don't know, do something with that. I know. I like when they're like, look, man, just like, just say sorry for it. He goes, I'm sorry. Like, no, not to us. Yeah. He's like, I passed. I did it. No, I did it. Why hasn't Amanda be nice to me? I said, sorry. Also, I'd like to point out that the whole storyline this season was West is upset with Jesse flirting with

Sierra because that breaks boy code. This guy's such a fucking loser. I can't even take him with his little baby. It's like, look at me. I'm just standing up for women. No, you're not. You're standing up for a woman on TV so you get more a free pussy in a bar. And I don't even want to hear anything else from you.

I don't believe it. I won't believe anything else. Right. And the way he handled that whole jazz is a gross way to put it, but it's a gross situation. Yeah. And the way he handled that whole Jesse's situation was so, like, so passive. and weasel, not weasily, it was just sort of like, it was, what's the right word for it? It just, he didn't really stand in it.

Manipulative. He just was like, well, people are saying, it's not nice that you said that. And then he tells Lindsay, he said this, you want me to do this for you? Yeah, he went manipulated everybody else to do it for him so that he didn't have to do it. And he could just look like a poor little victim on the side. Yeah, it was, it was just like, if you're going to like have an issue, just stand in it, right? It just makes me nuts that the guys on this show, they sign up for this show, and they get an instant ass pass. You know, it's like they get this little card and they get holes punched wherever they go.

It makes me crazy. I know. They literally get holes punched. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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