Watch What Crappens - #3296 RHOBH S15E16 Part Two: One Foot Out The Dorit

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

This is part 2 of 2It’s taken years, but the last vestiges of the Fox Force 5 on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have finally begun to crumble. Our jaws are on the floor as Erika reads Dorit for filth for being late and inconsiderate in Italy. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

So Erica's like, Dree. And now Erica, now we see her in her, like, drag queen makeup in the confessional. And she's like, Motherfucker, I am beyond mad. Like, are you forgetting? Yes. Spit it out.

You're mad. Okay. What the love when Erica does that. And now we have flashbacks. I am beyond me. Okay, Erica. So we see flashbacks. 2018, LVP calls out to read in front of the group for Lucy Lucy

Apple Juice being placed in the shelter. That's not even how that happened. These editors, I swear to God, are still so biased. That's not what happened. They're like, why aren't you yelling at her about Lucy and Lucy? Why aren't you telling her about it? Why aren't you bringing out on camera? Say something about Lucy and Lucy.

She's like, okay, well, the dog ended up in his shelter. Oh my God, she brought up Lucy, Lucy, Appalducy! Burn her in the steak! Well, either way, I mean, look, you know, I've been very critical of Erica for the years. I've always felt like she hasn't shared enough. I felt like she has self-produced. But, like, one thing that you have to say about the Fox Force Five is that they always protected each other and they always covered for each other and they would do like faux moments of

accountability or like these like little petty squabbles to show that no they could be critical of each other but ultimately they cared most about like rallying the troops and sending new people off the show that's how at least it feels whether or not it's real or not and um well they have and as a result of that yeah they've had each other's back and like we always been ganging up on other people to get them out and you know what like this this lvp thing is a perfect example and that's when it formed right to get out LVP so they did that but then only that but there was also talked that season that that was a huge distraction from shit that was going on and Dorets personal life with finances right like wasn't the whole thing like oh

there's bankruptcies and this was a great distraction so there's always been this and Eric that like and Erica is like they've I mean it's a little conspiratorial I've actually personally never truly believe that they created all this frenzy to hide each other's like scandals because I just don't think that they're smart enough to act that way. But you do feel like, like they, they do cover for each other a lot. And that's been one of the, to the detriment of the show quite often. However, that being said, it's like, well, they are still like having each other's back.

So when Doreet is like, you've, Bose has had my back more than anyone here. It's like, oh, these ladies have protected you, Doreet, though, like to the annoyance of the audience. Then, but every season is a new season. I mean, you can't bring up stuff from 2018, and it's like the same as, you know, five years later or six years later. I can. Of course I will do it. That's what we do. I'll be like, remember in 2011 when De Rite, but Carl stole a hanger from Camille Grammar that just shows she's been a bitch all this time?

Yeah. Well, look, they have been there for her, but this year they haven't. I mean, this year, Kyle's come for DeRite, and Erica's had Kyle's back. Erica hasn't been coming for her as strong, I don't think, but ultimately she's had Kyle's back in the whole thing. So I think like, I've always had you back. Yeah, but you don't now. So, you know, and I think Erica's thing could be, I wouldn't, I wouldn't even have a problem with Erica's thing. Again, for the millionth time, but because they talk about it a million times on the show, we have to repeat it a million times.

If Erica was like, you're late and it's fucking rude, Doreet. If that was her thing, then that's fine. But jumping in with Kyle when it's just like go after Doreet and like Doreet's attacking Kyle and like to kind of co-sign that I think is showing that you're on Kyle's side and you know I wouldn't fuck with her either by the way as long as we're on the on the topic of bringing up grudges here's a grudge that I forgot to mention when Kyle was trying to get everyone to have her back like we all said it right it's not just me we all said it we all said it and everyone was crickets it's funny how how how how quiet Kyle was

you know several years ago when Sutton was in the place of Kyle and Sutton was confronting Erica about like we all have questions about this scandal. And we were all talking about it, right? And then no one said anything. It was just sudden out there, even though they had all had, even more blatantly, by the way,

a group discussion, including Doreet. And Doree was actually very vocal in that group discussion. They all sat there and talked about what's going on with Erica and then someone out there to do the dirty work and they all sat there quietly.

So, Kyle, you know, what goes around, comes around. Yeah. So Erica's like, well, it seems to be a bit of, like you need everybody to come to you so you can say to them, I'm mad that you kept this from me, but you know what? I'm actually mad that we

had to sit there at this table and wait for you. Okay, finally, we're at the real point, which is you're late. And, Doreka's like, well, good. At least you're being earnest and drinks. So thank you. So Erica leads up. Erica is so mad. Here's what I think I really responded to, was that this was a true, honest emotion that Erica is feeling

and was also incredibly relatable. be like, the friend who's always late, it's like, finally someone was gonna fucking say something to them. But she is like, Erica's like, you see, she is really mad and she leads, she's been mad. It's so fucking funny when Erica's like, okay, I'm gonna be bad now, everybody ready? You, where, well, ew, where are you?

It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, geez, you've been left on the charger too long. Jeez. Yeah, and Dorit is like, I was talking to my kids. kids. She goes, okay, great. How long does that take? We all have kids. I have a little baby, a little baby on the police force. He was 31. So why did you keep us all waiting? Your kids are more important than everyone else's kids? She says, I didn't fucking say that. If I'm checking on my

kids, it doesn't mean that they're more important than your kids. Oh, really? Well, then why did you tell us? Text us and say you're checking on your kids. You'll be ready at five minutes. Then you know what? The entire group goes, oh, hey, she's checking on our kids. Let's give a five. But you don't think you, you don't think you needed to do that, did you? Guess what? I left you guys today. I didn't do you anything. Oh, yeah? Well, I don't know you anything other than the truth,

which is why we don't like it. We don't like it. We don't like it. And that is the truth. And I'll say it because these motherfuckers won't. We don't like it. See, by the way, she just did the exact same thing that Kyle did, but she phrased it in a much more commanding way.

She didn't say, like, guys have my back. I'll say because these fuckers won't. You know. And it's also a better point because everybody has a problem with this, right? So when she does it, it, like, actually makes sense. I just, oh, well, guess what? You miss the apology. Okay?

I had it earlier. Apparently, Erika, missed the apology. So I'm going to do it again. I apologize. Coyle. Erika. Megan. Whoever that is suiting.

It's not landing to reach. How ever loud you talk, I'm going to talk louder, which is a lot because I actually don't talk louder. But because your apologies don't fucking land, it's not just me. Everyone's irritated. They're not going to tell you. Let's go down. the line and you can all speak up.

Okay, well, who wants to say something? Don't be cowardly lions. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not cowardly. I've been late too. I'm often late. You know, sometimes I've been like clock. So, I mean, time is just a human contract if you really think about it. Right.

So I'm late somewhere. I'm sure. I should be somewhere right now. And everyone's just looking at her like, why? You know, this is why Erica, this didn't land for me as well. I mean, I loved watching her get mad, but I'm like, why do we have to? Everyone's just looking at them like, I'm not going to, yell at somebody at dinner about being late. This is so weird. And Sutton says her thing. She's

like, well, you know, I'm not very concerned about Dorea's behavior. I mean, you know, the buying of the bag. I mean, okay, the being late, okay. I mean, it kind of feels like divorce behavior, okay, you know, slashing your husband's tires, you know, calling the Pope and saying, when are you going to take away his last name, motherfucker? You know, things like that. I mean, being late can be annoying, but it's not like the Pope just showed at your house and turned you into a brown overnight. You know what I mean? So I'm just not concerned.

I mean, should I be? Yes, and I think you should be concerned. And I need Sutton's track to come back because Sutton's track would be like, she is disrespecting my time. And I don't know what sort of fleets he does that because that's what Sutton would normally do. I think that maybe all this talk about like erraticness is getting her scared because truly the person who's most erratic on this cast is Sutton and she has been for a long time. So I think she's just trying to be like, I'm just going to be a statue.

right now. I'll be David myself. So Richard's also got a better fight going, right? She's trying to produce a different fight, which Kyle is also in on, but she's trying to produce the fight that Amanda should be coming for Doreet. So Amanda, she wants Amanda to have this dinner to come for Doreet for looking her up and chat GPTing her ass and all of that stuff, but that didn't really work. So she's just like, well, damn it, I've been trying to orchestrate a different fight. And I just don't know that the time fight is really as strong as my original fight, which is Quote lady goes crazy on Doreet. I mean, that would have been more fun, right?

So Rachel goes, I've said it to Doreth's face that she's late and I don't do late. Like she's going through a fucking time though. And Rica's like, yeah, we're all going through a fucking time, Rachel. The whole table's going through a fucking time. I agree. Just do it. Well, Erika, you're going through a fucking time, really? She's like, are you kidding?

Yeah, what the fuck do you think it is? My husband wants a prison. The fuck do you're talking about? I'm going to trial. What are your kids? Well, your kids in the divorce. We're not going to do the pain thing, okay? The pain Olympics airing on NBC in summer 2028.

I'm obligated if you say the Olympics to announce that on Bucke. Yeah, you know what? Everybody hurts sometimes. Thank you. Oh, thanks, little. Thanks, Rachel. Well, I didn't know you were going through a fucking time. It was like, well, I've been.

Well, you don't, you know, you haven't shared what you're going through. going through a fucking hot time. Oh, no, I actually share with my therapist who actually gives a shit. Then how am I supposed to do, Erika? I give a sheet. I'm your fruit. It's like, oh, now you do. Now that you're raising your voice because you need to

show everyone on a scale. But you raised your voice a hell of a lot sooner than I did. And don't ever tell me to shut up again to wait. Don't ever fucking tell me to shut up again. When did I say that? Today. And don't put your hand on

my face, do not do that, Dorit, do not put your hand in my face. I'm like, well, you're pointing in hers. What the hell? I love when Erica gets so mad, it always just makes me laugh. We have a flash card. Yeah. You have a flashback earlier in the ghost town where where Derreet was like, Erika, I'm not doing this, this interjecting debate.

So Deerite's like, you know what, when I said you need to work and you need to contribute, I didn't mean you have to be a cut fitness. And then Amanda's like, oh my God, you guys. Amanda, who thought Wimp was like the worst word she was gonna hear this season. Please don't call her a cup fitness in my restaurant that I'm eating in. And so Tilly just drinks.

Tilly doesn't not care. She's just drinking her wine, watching it like, this is boring. So Bose and Rachel are muttering like, oh, Jesus, I'm dead. I'm literally, I literally died. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

Doreet, I'm the one that brought the word cut fitness into the group. You're late. You stole the word cut fitness from me. I love that. I love that. She's like, I'll take an ownership of that word because Doreet uses it a lot, especially in this episode. I have a feeling that Doreet has been using that word for a long time. I mean, Doreet is British, so it's possible. Eric, is like, I stole that from the gay people before you stole it from the gay people before you still have for the Brits, bitch. Guess what?

I can be a cut fitness if I wanted to read. What are you? A pussycat? Why are you a pus? She's like, I'm me. Me too. And I don't need to be a cut fitness, Erica. Well, don't, because you're an asshole.

You're an asshole. And you're a cut fitness. Rachel at the end of the table is just like, oh my God. Like, I really save that word for like special occasions. Wow. Do you think this is good for you? Do you think this is good for you?

Because we last week of the season, you think this is a good look for you? I don't operate from that place, Erika. I operate from a place of being fucking real. I'm honest and I'm sharing. And if you're going through a fucking time, tell me. Because I want to be there for you. So why are you wearing your plate as a hat? Hashtag erratic.

But it's infectious about it. Well, it's all over the news street. It's all over the news street. And you say you don't know. That's all over the news. Since when do you read? You're the one who was like, Erica's stuff.

What? I can't read that article. It's too long. Can someone just tell me what it said? So, Doreet is basically like, look, she tells us, like, I know about all this stuff because it's in the tabloids, but Erica doesn't actually tell me about it. Yeah, because this whole season started with Erica dating a new guy. They all had to find out from a tabloid. And Doreet said, well, why didn't you tell me?

And she said, well, I'm not comfortable sharing it with everybody at the table. And I would only, I only share it with Kyle. And then Sutton was like, yeah, that includes you. Remember all this? So it's funny that Erica's like, oh, really? Really? Really? You're being secretive? You did the same thing. You fucking hypocrite. So Erica's like, you're not going to win this round to read with you.

It's all about me about divorce. And she's like, well, why are you taking it that way? I'm not saying I deserve a metal for having a shitty time, although I would accept one. Do you think if this is a fucking competition? She's like, no. But you're putting it. us all through it. And yeah, I think you do. You're louder than everybody else. Okay. Really, honey? Really? Let's do play back. A rewind, if you will. I'm getting up from the table,

and I'm doing it because I'm very angry with you, but also I just really want to have a cigarette in the parking lot. Oh, so you're leaving now? Oh, oh, oh, hell yes. A twist on an old favorite. Hell yes, not hell no. So she gets up and walks off and Amanda's like rolling her eyes. And Erica goes, why, why are you leaving? She goes, because Erica, if there's anything I've taken away from my superrussian, it's that I pick and chills who I want to be with. And I don't have time for shot like this.

I don't look it. Oh, so you lay everybody out. But then, whereas just you and I, you decide to walk away. Oh, really, Erica, think again, sweet heat. You think again. You're the one walking off. I'm still here. By the way, hilarious that the both of them are telling each other to think about something.

I'm like, that's not happening anytime soon. We don't see a lot of thinking on this show. I like that Erica was losing her shit during this and Dorese just staying calm. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And she gets up and walks off and she just leaves and she goes, weirdos. Weirdo is like, it's so funny. Like, weirdo is kind of like a word that seems so benign, but people really weaponize it.

Like, I've seen it a lot. like, yo, you're being a weirdo. And you're like, how could you decide that about me? Um, so it became super different, it became super offensive last year or something or like two years ago because politically somebody said, you're weird, like a politician's, I forget which side, like if it was Republican or Democrat, but someone became a thing to call Donald Trump weird. Yeah. And then they were like, you're weird.

And then the Trumpies were like, you're, but these people are weird. And they're like, how dare you? And so weird became this like hugely offensive word again. So funny. Humans are so stupid. I know. So, Amanda goes, no, it's not productive. She's like, she'll go get her?

So then they're like, yeah, go get her because she's probably not going to listen. By the way, I also enjoyed Jennifer in the middle of all this. It was like, you know, the word cut fitness is, it's actually quite common in England. I don't think it has lands the same exact way, but just so you know. And then when they go, should I go get Doreet? Well, otherwise we'll be squished into two cars. She's a car taker. Someone go get her.

So, so then Kyle is like, Kyle is so mad. And then she picks up this like T-Bone steak that's in front of her and she goes, well, why in the fucking Fred Flintstone is this in front of my face? Put this over here, please. Who served me in this? In the middle of the fight, someone decided to pass down like a Florentine steak to Kyle, a giant plate of meat right in front of her. So Jennifer takes it, of course.

She's like, that was delicious actually, Kyle. Did you mean that? Did you mean that? Did you mean that? What that is not being a friend, Bose. But did you mean it? What she's doing to me is not fair, and I'm sick of it. So Kathy goes up to Doreet, and she's like, I'm, I'm good.

You know, you know, I just, I'm not going to sit at a table with a bunch of assholes. I'm not going to do that. She's said, but you guys love each other. And I'm the wealthiest person here. You'd really be listening to me right now. I don't love anyone, nor do I trust anyone. Nor will I continue to give as a friend to people that behave like dude. So, to read.

By the way, Kathy's going to get it for this, following to read out. Oh, Kyle's not going to like that. Well, I think they all told her to go. I think Kyle was, I think Kyle co-signed it because they're like, okay, bring her back. So Erica is, now Erica is sort of like doing her cry thing, where she just like clenches her mouth together, but tears come out. And Kyle's like, I mean, it's always. me that she's going to focus on and pick on and I'm not going to fucking do that. I'm like, Erica's literally crying over there because she is the one who actually just

received the wrath of Dorita a little bit. Although actually, I shouldn't say that. Erica was giving the wrath. But the point I was like, it's always me when Eric is the one who just got into the fight with Doreet. So, Ray just like, I think you guys need like a real pause. Like really, for real. Like something I would never say about moisturizer, you need a pause.

Yeah. And you know what? This might be superficial, but she looks hot as fuck. And Bose was like, not now. Like, but still, just saying. Rachel, not now. So Erica's like, I'm okay.

Oh, God, Erica. Give me a fucking break. You couldn't cry when you found out of it. You're confronted with the fire, burn victims, and orphans, and you had a deadpan look at your face and went, I never heard any of this. But this is going to make you cry. Get the fuck out of here with your bad acting.

So then, uh, Doreda is outside continuing with Kathy. And she's like, I'm used to Kyle talking behind my back and not taking my side and not being a guise girl. But you can, I thought I could count on here ago. But I guess for her, it's more important to be in Kyle's good gruces to be than to be a friend to me. And that is what hurts me to boost. These two have protected men, helped me, and we're three of their attack. And I don't like that they're fighting.

And I don't like to see the wreat in this space. And I get that she's going to heart. time, but we are, and they're like wiping her tears. And she's like, I hate this. I don't give up my heart or friendship easily or any details of my personal life or who I'm friends with or who I'm dating or really anything about me. But you get to see Mikey. And I can't afford to read, but I don't know where our friendship stands.

And I never felt this I grew up by her before. So outside, Kathy's like, oh, you know, these are people that you're, I mean, close with, you know, and it's going to be, you know, it's going to be easier to walk out. than to walk back in, I'll tell you that much. Oh, I don't plan to, Kathy. I'm not at a place in my life where I'm going to sit from someone at a dinner who I care about, who I've been there for, who I fucking run to in the middle of the night if she needed me, just to be spoken like that.

You bet your ass I'm fucking walking away and walking in several circles and up and down and climbing up a wall if possible. You really are a bit erratic, aren't you? Don't you dare say that about me? I'm not erratic. You bet you reason I'm walking away. New fucking way. The days of me sitting there, grinning and boring it, swallowing and taking it, running it and walking it, swimming it and diving it.

They're over. They're over. So she's like walking away. And we see like a little cigarette, like the smoke billowing out from in front of her. Like, this isn't healthy for any of us. She's definitely stressed, but you can't push people out who you trust the most. I want to be there for her, but she has to listen. No one here wants to hurt her.

Like, I'm gone. So, Kathy's like, I'm sorry you feel so alone to read. It's okay. I would rather be alone than be around a bunch of fucking

court fitnesses. Coil's whole mission was to get everyone in the group to turn against me to somehow make herself feel better. Well, you got your wish. I hope you sleep good tonight.

And yes, I am comfortable with using bad grammar. So then she walks off. She gives like a slow clap Oh, I thought that was the PK, the soft PK, happy birthday laugh. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. That soft clap at the end. Our group came to Italy with some minor cracks, but now we have big. fractures and some broken friendships. I don't even know how we return to Beverly Hills like this. What will they do? At the international check-in, will they even let us back?

Time will tell. Time will tell. This is an update. I figured out how we do go back to Beverly Hills. By airplane! So Rachel's like, I've learned that you never know what to expect from this group. And like, I've never expected that we become to this beautiful, magical place that I want to live in every summer.

instead of being with these women and end up in absolute tears, Hot Girl Summer's been destroyed. Hot Girl Summer. Dead Girl Summer. It's not Dead Girl Summer, because I'm dead. So now we go back to Beverly Hills and Jennifer, or no, I guess everybody's packing and stuff to go back. And Sutton is squeezing into the glass elevator, rolling her suitcase onto the car, calling the polar bear Ari and then slap it in the face and tell us to watch its goddamn mouth when it's out.

in public and uh, something's like, well, I thought this trip would be healing, bring us closer together, and it has done the exact obligate. Applicate, opposite. Obviously, is what I mean. It's a blinter. I don't know if it can be recovered. So now, I love every, by the way, I love every real housewife

or everyone on Bravo, who always says this at the end of a tumultuous group trip. Like, I thought we were going to be healed by this trip and come together. When in the history of Bravo or reality TV has a group trip ever healed? anything. It is specifically designed for you all to be at each other's next by the end of it every single time. And then they're like, oh, I thought we'd be healed and come closer to a group as a group. It's like that literally has never, ever happened. Yeah. Well, um, let's see how Doreet's book is coming. And by that, I mean, the cover. So she's doing the photo shoot and she's wearing crazy clothes. I don't know, those shoulder pads, they're really in right now. I would suggest not going with something so trendy as a book. I mean, not that you'd expect this to last longer than two weeks anyway on any kind of book stand. But she's she's like sitting there like sort of like a squatted down and like looking like like I mean business.

It sort of looks like she's posing for like a learning annex, you know, headshot. And so he reads like, I'm not like, I'm not a facelift. If this book doesn't represent, if this cover doesn't represent the book, I'm going to lose my mind. It does represent the book. It's a complete fucking mess that makes no sense. I like, she does give us a peek into the process. She goes, I've learned that a lot of people release the cover of their book before the book is even finished, just to increase the excitement around the book. You mean marketing materials?

I never even knew those things existed. Isn't that interesting? It's the same thing that your friend Amanda does. Hmm. What are we getting out that idea? Wow. It was like, she got that from me. All this time when a book is coming out, I always just assumed there was a big question mark on Amazon.

until it suddenly ripped the shelves. Oh, book covers are a big. They release the cover early. Book covers are a big thing in the Bravo world right now, because Heather Gay was called out for stealing her book cover for her newest book. She wrote a fiction book. And it sounds like it's already, it sounds kind of like it's going to be a rip off of that Demy Moore movie.

What was it? The Substance, which then became the rip off that Ryan Murphy show called The Beauty or whatever that was. So anyway, she stole. book cover. There was like another book and the author came out. She said, oh yeah, that's not much for girl power, bitch. Seal of my book cover. And then everyone

on mine's like, that's not stolen. That's just a stock image. She's allowed to. I stand with Heather Gay. I am, I just did a search and I see it is very, very similar. But yeah, if it is a stock image, that's hilarious. It's very big.

Book covers. The new storyline under a housewives of Beverly Hills. Here comes one right now. So now we go to Bozes and she's talking to Rachel. And they're talking about how, God, Italy was supposed to be great, but then it wasn't great. And Doreet is there. She's like, well, when you get a whole group of people, it's talking behind you back. Oh, no, this is at the book party.

I'm sorry. The book thing. We're still on the same scene. So the girls come over. They're like, oh, my God, this is amazing. What is this for a book that people read? Are you, did you learn how to spell things? How is this happening?

What's going on here? We are going to release a thing called a photo that you release ahead of time so people know that there is something called a book that is following. I'm very excited for the process. Books get cooled, so they come with covars, and this one will have my face on it. What do you think of that, revolutionary? You know, there's not a lot of, oh, sorry, go ahead, Ben. Go ahead, go ahead, Bozeman. No, no, please.

I think that you should express how I'm feeling in this moment. I'm extremely bored. And if there's not safety and protection within an expressed concern, then it feels like an accusation. And I think that that's why you feel upset. She's like, yes, it's goosey. So Bose tells us that the difference between what she does and what Kyle does with Doree is that she offers feedback without judgment. But Kyle offers feedback and a lot of judgment. And then we throw in your trigger words like erratic and manic and it makes the person less receptive.

Yeah, where I struggle with like the whole situation is that like I don't want to be grouped into like the all like the we all. Because like I'm an actual celebrity and you guys are like not. So like I can't really be in the same all ALL. You know what I'm saying? I'm just like visiting here. Okay. Like I live in the Hamptons with Xander. Yeah.

You know where I'm struggling with this is like I'm trying to listen to them but that I just keep seeing this white light and people are like come towards. the light, come towards the light. And I'm like, no, I don't want to. I'm dead. And then I realized I was the light all along. So, um, so Doreen's like, but you're also not going around to everyone else. The group saying how frustrated you are with me because I'm late all the time. It's different because Kyle was bringing those accusations to other people and those discussions and even putting it in people's heads. And she basically like, yeah, like, you know, she, you know, like, Dorete says like, I've had no issues with Erica, except for the very first year, and never had an issue until this year.

I'm basically saying it was Kyle who has poisoned Erica. Yeah, and she says that Erica's been riding the fence between her and Kyle since last year. Like, she would tell me that Kyle texting P.K. was wrong, but she wouldn't say it to Kyle's face. And so Italy showed me where Erica's loyalty is with coil. So she's like, you know, I just want you guys because you're my friends and you're richer. And Rachel's like, yeah, but on a light note, you guys, I'm not walking towards it. And here's the thing. Like, I hate my birthday.

You know what I like? My death day, which is every day. And you know what? Like, my birthday is like the end of summer and the beginning of the new year. So I want to have a party celebrating that. Okay? Let's just do that. Let's not even say it's my birthday, even though it's my birthday.

Like, I don't want it to be like my birthday. Okay, so don't sing happy birthday. Don't bring me birthday presents. Birthday, birthday, birthday. Okay, it's my birthday. I'll see you in my birthday. I'm going to make a shirt that has your first. face on it and says, I'm here for Rachel.

It's like, oh, my God, like literally dead. I will not. Like, but that's actually kind of a genius. You could be like the CMO of like Rachel's. So exactly. C.M. Fucking. Oh, but I can't afford this bitch though. Oh my God. hilarious. So now we go to, by the way, I think at one point the producer said, like, how old are you

turning? And she was like, or maybe that was a little bit later. And she's like, what are we doing? Like, no. Like, what? Like, what are we doing? So we go to a place called Magoos, and it's this, like, cool, like, spot with, like, shoes and stuff that, like, the kids love. It's like a teenage boy shop. Yeah, but everything probably costs, like, $5,000, but it's like, fake boys. So, yeah, communication with my kids is everything.

And especially with SkySky, since he, you know, like, it's hard to, like, pull things out of him, you know? Like, so I have to check on him. So, like, how are things with that? He's like, not good, not bad, just fine. Okay, you forgot to tell me not to go crazy. No drinking ever. No drugs. No vaping ever.

No vaping. Okay. Do you still like your dad? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Isn't he an asshole? Well, don't say that.

You shouldn't say he's an asshole, right? Was she there? What's she like? She an asshole? Okay, glad we had this talk. No e-bikes. By the way, enjoy your internship here. I worked at Nine West at the Short Hills Mall.

Yeah, they got it. an internship for her. My mom just got my niece an internship as a barista. Well, it's not really an internship. It's a job, but it's funny because it's like this place that my mom goes to all the time. And I just think it's funny that my niece is like, oh my God, this is so cool. Now I have a job as a barista. I'm like, making things for your grandmother. Good luck with that. She's going to be like, this is wrong. Do it again. She's going to be your worst, like, army. She's going to be a drop, give me 20 do it again yeah sky's gonna be a barista intern he's gonna like hold the sweet low um so now we go over to mountain olympus house um and this is uh we're looking at we're looking at

houses for boz and keel and leh so they look at this house it's really nice because they're gonna start a new family together and and boz is like Like the first time Keely left me alone in his house, I'm sure he's trying to establish trust me. And I took that to another level because I went through every single thing. I went through every single medicine cabinet, every single hair plug, and I found nothing. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that I did that.

But, you know, Keely has reassured me that regardless of baby or not, he wants us to live together and I want our lives to come together. So here we are looking at a house with Lell. This house is ugly, eh? What do you think? It was fine. It was like just generic house in the hills, you know? It was fine.

Didn't really stay with me. I hope she doesn't get it. So they look at the house. That's really exciting. And then we go to Rachel. She's getting her house decorated for the Rachel Studio 54 birthday bash. And she's like, oh, my God, in my mind, I live at Studio 54. It's like where I was born, where I'll die.

It's like where I'll stay. It's like Purgatory of 54. I'm staying here forever. I fucking love it. Everybody here's dead. It's the only place I can party where everybody else is dead, too. For someone who proclaims that she's dead all the time, she also quite often says that she's living somewhere. She's like, oh my God, Studio 54, I live here now.

Europe. I just, I live here. I live here. Hamptons, I live here. Like, every place is like, I live here now. It's where I want to live. I live here. I die here.

Like everyone here, Studio 54 is dead and Liza Minnelli keeps pounding on the doors. And we're like, it's not your time, Liza. It's not your time. So, uh, Kias is cute. He has like a little iPad and he is basically running the guest list. And what I like is that people in LA are so used to up and coming young stars and starlets working at in the service industry that no one seems to have a moment of like, oh, hi. No one goes like, this is so cute.

Your, your kid is running the door. They just assume like this is a real hired person demand security. They can ask LA, child labor. That's how we roll. It's nepo child labor. It works. So the producer's like, so, Rachel, how old are you turning? It's like, oh, my God, are you okay?

Like, I'm fucking 37, okay? Forever. Like, I don't believe in age. Age is like just a number. It's just like a number. Are you okay? Are you okay? That's how we know.

That's how we know how long to wait for milk to turn into cheese, for example. You know? Yeah. So we go over to Erica's house, and she is seated for glam. She's getting into her studio of 54. I'm just like, ah, sex, sex, drugs, cocaine, yeah. And then Bose is getting, everyone's getting ready. Everyone's doing their glam and people start arriving.

And Amanda is like, hi, my name's Amanda Francis, party of one, please. This is like, you know I'm a kid, right? You're supposed to do the whole like, oh, you're so cute. I'm not sure if I follow. So everybody comes in, they're like, Erica Dane, see me or not. See me right now, you dumb little fucker. I'll get you fired.

He's like, oh, ha, ha, ha, I'm just a little boy. So Kyle comes, and she's like, I'm not entering this party thinking like, oh, this would be a wonderful opportunity to like try and fix things with Doreen. Like, no, I'm here for Rachel. And Bose is like, well, well, Doreach, how are you feeling about tonight? It's like, well, I, at the first day of school, they called me and said Phoenix was having anxiety. It's a big transition. Well, it's a big deal. homeschooled for five years. Five years so she was crying when I picked her up, saying she

doesn't fit in and maybe she's not ready, and they took it out of me. So tonight at the proverbial cherry on the Sunday. You mean getting to go to a really cool party at a celebrity's house is hard for you right now? Getting bit stabbed by coil. I might as well go to Jigga and that little girl who won't stop calling me. So Rachel and Chat, Rachel and Eric are chatting near Caius, and Rachel's telling him, Kai Kai. Oh, my God, doesn't she look so gorgeous, Kai, Kai? Erica. And he's like, yeah, I really like your hair.

It reminds me of, like, Dolly Parton. She's like, oh, thank you, babe. I love her. You know, we're both singers. That's great. I was going for Studio 54, but I guess I hit Randall Opry. So, okay, someone's getting fired tonight. So Erica's like, what is that, Manchago?

And Rachel goes, yeah, Manchago's a vibe. And it's a vibe. Like, I'm dead, Mancheg. I'm like, dead. Like, get me some Tapa, and I'm dead. She is dead Chego. So, De Ried and Bose arrive. And Kyle's like, awkward.

I'm like, there's nothing awkward. They just walked in the room. Like, literally nothing awkward has happened. But it's Kyle. Nothing's happening to Kyle. But she's like, I'm being attacked. I'm being awkward. You're the one being awkward.

And she goes, oh, and look, it's her infamous Kelly bag. It's only infamous to you. No one cares about the Kelly bag because everyone has these bags. Well, Italy was intense and I've had a difficult last few days. And the last thing I need right now is to deal with Kyle and her gang of minions. First it was Amanda, then Sutton. And now, even Erica is falling in line. And what an absolute disappointment. Like, yeah, but you know you were part of that for like seven years, just so you know. Be careful of the monster you create because it can turn around to smack you. God, Frank is tune. So, Rachel's, I, Oh, my God, I'm so happy my girls are here.

What could be bad? What could be bad? What could be? Bup, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, we're going to have to wait. You know what? I don't even know what could happen tonight. Like, it could be, like, a big love fest or, like, a fight in Vegas.

But instead of a boxing ring, it's a dance floor with a disco ball. Like, I'm dead. Are you guys, are you okay? Like, this is insane right now. I live here now. I live in a disco ball. So guess what? next week is not even the finale.

It's the penultimate episode. So, it's two more episodes. Wow. Wow. Yeah, but like, everybody's singing. Everybody's saying. Everybody's saying. Well, I guess we'll see what happens.

Thanks, everyone, for being here, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.

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