Watch What Crappens - #3301 Below Deck Down Under S04E10: Mixed Massages

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

Alesia manages to undermine two separate budding romances on Below Deck Down Under, but there’s nothing that the power of love (or a good massage) can’t overcome. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the beautiful and glorious Rondell Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hey, what are you doing? I'm just hanging out with you, about to talk some below deck down under. Before we do that, I hope you all read the newsletter that good old Ronnie wrote this. weekend on our Patreon. He puts effort into that, guys.

He writes all these paragraphs, uses lots of words. That's effort. It's a blog. You guys should read it. Going back to the old school TV gasm days, making some bloggish. Yeah, that's right. So go check that out.

That's at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. We also have a weekly bonus episode. The rumor is that probably during this recording, the new trailer for In This. city is going to drop. And so we are planning to have that be our bonus episode this week, a trailer trash of that trailer. We don't know if it's really going to happen, but if it does happen, that's what you can look forward to. That's at patreon.com slash watch what crapans, as well as crap is on demand, where you can watch us on video, as well as ad-free listening.

So with all that being said, first of all, also thank you to everyone who came to crappy hour last We had a really great one, really great combo at the end with people who joined us. So thank you for tuning in for that. That was wonderful. Anyway, today, we are back in the world of canoe on, which, as we all know, is an island dedicated to canoes that win things. Canuan. I'm married to Canoan. It's the local canoes.

So, yeah, this episode is season four, episode 10, making enemies. Where we left off, Ellie and Ben are at an impasse where he's been calling a honey snuffles all season long. And she's had it and she's been fighting back. And it looks like, as far as we can tell, they will never, ever, ever be able to put aside their differences. So it looks like this is the end for them, right? It's over. Yeah, someone's going to be fired. They go up to Captain Jason and Captain Jason.

It's like, listen here. I'm putting my foot down by leaving this room and making you talk about it amongst yourselves. I don't like to do this. Goodbye. So he leaves. And we're just waiting to see who shoots each other. So, yeah, it's an unstoppable, an unstoppable ball versus an unmovable wall.

What could possibly happen? Well, I was like, well, this is the end. Someone's going to go. It's like, I have never had male supervisor call me those names. And I know you don't mean it that way, but every time you use one of those words, I feel like a lack of respect. And I feel like my value was being diminished, like you're saying, my vegetables are no good for milk. And this man is putting me down and I need to stand by ground. Oh, no, no, shit.

No, look, there's a British colloquialism. All right? I use it in high pressure environments, like in the galley. I always thought of it as a defecal. fuser, you know, rather than a fuser. All right. It's not sexual harassment. It's sexual hugs.

It's hugs. It's verbal hugs. Normally, when I call some one titty scones, they like it. But it occurs to me, scones really are British things. So I understand that you're not really getting it early. She's like, okay. That's right. That's okay.

It's like, I mean, the last thing that I would do, I, you know, I just, you know, I thought you were great hell, but you are still a great help. But you just, you just wanted to be shown. respect and I get that syrup lobes. That is all. And I go out there. You know, I just want you to stay. I want you to be good, Nugat-Meese.

You know, that's all. Well, yes, I want to stay. I want to finish it together. I think we have a good thing going. Well, I want to be approachable. And honestly, and if you notice, I know, I haven't stepped up once today. I haven't not once called you butterloves. I haven't once called you mushy lumps, you know.

I'm really conscious of it. So, you know, you have to, you know, you have a head of a swear jar, darling. I was thinking, like, I don't know, a honeypot or something like that. Oh, honeypot. Yes, sounds good. Yes, I've been honeypot before. That's, this was one of my jobs. I got many, many spies.

So he's like, all right, deal. So, Ellie's like, you know, I'm kind of embarrassed now. I allow myself to lose my cool. But, you know, I'm in it to win it. And if I can manage to bend personality, Oh, wow, there's nothing I cannot do. Watch out, Putin! I hate it.

I'm so embarrassed for losing my cool. Thank God I will absolutely not lose my cool four or five more times this episode. With a man. I think this is the beginning of beautiful relationship. So he's like, well, you did scare the shit out of me. I'm not going to lie. She's like, yes, well, I scared the shit out of me as well. How about that?

I can't even scare me. This is how sensitive I am. Okay, I'm going back to this voice now. Hello, chef. Hello. It's me, Nicely. I'm going to use this voice for the rest of episode. Would you like massage?

I want to make you geek. So, Jason's like, so, how's it going today? You guys all work it out. Do you guys find my secret session of M&Ms? Please, God Lord, tell me you didn't. She's like, that's good. We work through it, and I know we could continue this season without any attention. It's like, okay, good.

You know, it's a shitload of work, and I can't do it without all you guys, and I definitely can't do it without food, specifically M&Ms. So I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave the cabin so that way I can get down to snacking. So now everybody's cleaning. That's done. That's done and over, so it's clean. And Yali and Ben even make a toast. They drink.

And Jason reads the comment cards, and they get two stars for cleanliness and comfort. which, you know, blame the panty liner. Panny liner. And also blame Mike and his crazy Olympic torch haircut. So Alicia, honestly, she's like, we see her and she's, she's soaking some things, washing machines are on and everything. And Jenna holds up this, it's like a rainbow penis that the guest gave her. The guy, Mark was like, Jenna, please have this rainbow penis.

She's like, look at test, I got to give. They gave me a rainbow penis. rainbow penis. And Alicia's like, why do you get all the best gifts? And I get all the shit ones. She goes, because they actually like me. So they like are joking. They're fighting over the penis.

It's funny. Yada, yada. We think nothing of it. But this becomes one of the most enraging props over the course of the episode. Because the principle of what happens is it really, it really gets me, Ronnie. I don't know if you were affected the same way I was. But by the end of the episode, it's like, if she fucking takes that penis thing, One more fucking tongue.

I swear to God, I'm going to call up HR. Well, they're fighting over a penis, and that's what the episode is, fighting over dick. So it's crazy that it all kind of thematically works out that way. That's true. So Daisy's like, girls, can you start sorting through this, please? And they're like, well, I'm going to kiss the penis. She's like, oh, my God, I'm going to go down for laundry. So now Joanne and Daisy are in the crew mess, laundry room area.

And, uh, late Daisy C said nothing was done right down there. She said, God, like for fuck's sake. This fuck me off so much. Like, I don't fucking come to that. You don't have a uniform and you're, you're fucking hoarding it. Oh my God. It's not okay. And she was like,

Zim, sim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, yeah. Yeah, by the way, I love that Zee. We don't even know the context of this. Like, we never saw anything about someone complaining that they don't have a uniform. It's just like, it's just some other piece of shit that's happening in Daisy's life that they didn't even bother to like, you know what the audience will get it. They understand what's happening. She's just complaining and, and Joao sitting there eating lamb chops or something.

And he's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So funny watching you deal with laundry. A L, L, that's him. And so Daisy's like, what are you giggling at? You're not going to tell me. He's like, I'm sorry. No, I do like Daisy. There's no doubt about it.

She's beautiful, you know. She's very sweet. She's kind. She's protective. I love her accent. She's very Irish. I think that there is a ton of chemistry that we are trying to figure out without making it obvious to each other. It's holding your crowds close so you can don't get disappointed, but I can't help but feel drawn towards her.

So I'm in Zim Love. Oh, God. Yeah, we'll see. We know how Jowel is with women. So let's see how this goes. So Jason calls the crew for the tip meeting and he sees Ben wearing a robe. Ben just doesn't give a fuck, man. I think Ben took a shower in the guest quarters.

Yeah, that's his room. I don't think he's ever slept in his room, has he? On the, what's the guest leave? No, I don't think so. He just sleeps in the guest quarters. Yeah. Crazy. All right, well, I just want you to know, Granddad, Ben.

All right, the galley situation, we had a good talk about that. And by we, I mean, they as I ate little talking balls of joy. All right? That green one truly does make you horny. All right. But I had a good talk. All right, but I won't tolerate this again from anyone. We need to work together. We need to support each other. I'm selling kimonos. How many people have ponied up $400 to buy one? Nobody? I don't feel supported. I'm leaving. Thank you. That's all. You're dismissed. Well, I look through the reviews and see that there's some housekeeping issues. So the helmet, I'm going to give it to someone in housekeeping. But obviously, the leader hasn't stopped. I've seen Daisy going all around. I'm going to give it to the second in charge of housekeeping, and it's going to be Jenna. So Jenna gets it, which feels a little bit unfair.

And Jason's like, I just won't think we should have gotten it again because she didn't wear it last week. So she should, she should do it until she does it right. Really, Mike should have, well, Mike already had it. I think he likes to spread it around, but Mike should have gotten it too. Although Alicia could have gotten it for the fact that she left a towel in the drawer last week. And we all still remember. It was horrifying. So Jason's like, I want the crew to step up

Or take some leadership, take some work off the heads of department So then Jenna's like I mean, how can you wait, take me seriously with this bloody heart on though? I'm like, we stopped taking you seriously the moment you said that you were going to go back to Eddie So let's be honest here. We're here to grow, we're here to expand, and we can do it. Dacey's like, there are zero reason for us to be making this mistakes. You know, this is pretty fucking simple.

or well the tip for this chart is 22 grand. So this is pretty hefty. Well done, guys. All right, thank you. Interior team. Let's have a quick meeting about what's going on. So now the interior team has to have their own meeting. And she's like, all right, listen, there were huge gaps, the housekeeping stuff.

I mean, there was a lot going on. And when I'm not around, Jenna is in charge. And she's like, well, I do want to be in charge. And that's what about a time. And I want to be a classic passion before you got to date about sense. Because they don't know such a high love I have involved, Matt. What's that? So then...

Why, then, you know, I'm just out about what I sound pretty clear. Mark, it was about the other thing. What? Yeah, this is that. Mark is like, Gina, you're wearing the dunescape this week? I don't really fancy taking orders from you at the moment. I'm like, it's not, it's, it's not your choice. Daisy literally just said, if I'm not around, you have to listen to Jenna.

You don't get to you don't have that option. She's wearing the dunce cap because of your inadequate ass, you idiot. And the fact that you already got it and Captain Jason wants to give it to new people every week. Otherwise, it would be squarely on your big hairy head. There's also nothing that reads Dunce cap more than that helmet that you've aquanetted on top of your scalp with like ball hair that you had implanted from turkey.

So please. You're comb forward. So back in the crew mess, Ellie and Joao were talking, and she's like, hello, how are you? He's like, I'm Zim good. Okay, then I have another question. Question number two. I love, question number one is, how are you? Yeah.

And she has like her hands behind her back, like she's about to offer him a snack. And he's like, yes, ma'am. Would you like a massage? He's like, um, yeah, yes. You know, my way of winning over a man is with my massage. The richest person in Russia, I'm not allowed to say the names, but they have in the years. I was his personal massage therapist, so I take a lot of pride in my massage skills. Also, I was so good he gave me free milk.

So that was a lot for me. I'll bet. I'll bet you take great pride in those massage skills. I know. So we go to Alicia hiding the rainbow penis in her bed. Don, don't, don't, don. The rainbow penis war has begun. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commerce. So now Ellie walks into Jowow's room and check, Okay, I will set a massage table or you set it up. You're a man, big strong man. Woman needs men. Don't set up a massage table. Weird thing, flower. And he's like, okay, ha ha ha.

I'm lacking this attention from Ellie. I wish it was from deity. I don't want to say that in public. But I don't want to ask her directly because, you know, I don't want to beat around the bush, but she's a no bullshit kind of person. no bullshit kind of person. And I think that if I were to ask her, the walls would go even further up and she'll shut off from me. But in the meantime, who's going to say no to a free some massage?

Okay, so he's putting it on Daisy. And he's going to tell everyone he likes Daisy, but he's not going to tell Daisy herself. And then Daisy's going to be like, what the fuck? He's going to be like, well, it's because of you, because you've had walls up. I don't know. It sounds like a big manipulation already in the works. Yeah. So then we cut to Jenna and Daisy in their cabin.

And Jenna's like, I suppose to Joanne. I think you like, what was that, Jenna? I just like, Joie, what I did you? I don't know what you're saying. Joe, what you like to? Okay, I'll just say yes. And go, okay.

She's saying, yeah, I think Joelle liked you. And so then we see a flashback to last night when Joow and Jenna were talking. And he's like, well, you know, me and Daisy. Has I ever thought about it? He's like, well, I do like her. She's like, that's all. That's all. So now Daisy's like, well, I'm not being here for drama.

Ellie and Joao, you know, they're having fun. You know, they're kind of full on. You're such a girl's car. She's like, well, I'm really here just to work. It's like, well, he has no capacity to everything around the bush. She's definitely giving himself and giving her whatever I don't know what you're sad, buts. You know, fair game to her. Talk about, you know, getting what you want?

It's like, yeah, what do you want? So producers, like, how are you feeling about Ellie giving Jowel this private massage? She's like, well, yeah, I'm not going to like sit here and be like, oh, well, you know, like I haven't had a chance to really speak to Joao a week, you know, all season, obviously. I mean, Ellie is a little bit of a shark. And I guess I'm just not really like that. I'm a bit of a slow burner. Mean, when you fuck with me, I'll slowly burn all of your things. And they ask if she's jealous.

And she's like, do I seem jealous? No, I don't feel jealous. And she doesn't seem jealous because I don't think her thing with Joow is really real anyway. I think they're both like, well, we're on TV. People are supposed to hook up. You want to hook up? I don't know. You want to hook up?

I mean, maybe. Let's talk about it later. I'm getting that kind of vibe from Daisy and Jewel. Daisy's seen these shows, and she knows what Joow is all about. She's like, whatever. It's like, if I get horny enough that I, like, need to have some action, maybe I'll hit up Joow. But for right now, I'm just going to sham me surfaces and just try to sleep.

Listen, there are things worth fighting over. Like property taxes, fight those. You know, when they raise them every year, you fight those. Or when you get a traffic ticket, you should go and hope the cop doesn't show up. Like, there's things that are worth fighting for. Some used, you know, dick, you know, some used, slimy, disrespectful dick is not the thing to fight over. And I think Daisy's smart enough to know that. Yeah.

So Daisy is like, I mean, they could be having full vblown sex. Because like, what do you mean of course? Yeah. Shut up. Do I think they are? are 100% really yeah 100% they will be so then and who else down I mean who doubts it we've all seen the internet we've seen porn like I mean this is like clearly a porn setup yeah this is like a pretty like oh wow like just an out of out of the blue massage yeah so the only fans victim

the victim sorry the only fans vixen telling you to get make it on a table is generally a set up in porn do you think that they had a previous conversation where you He was like, oh, I could really use a massage. Oh, my back is Sotaur. And she says that, like she said, oh, I'm a licensed massage therapist, whatever. He's like, oh, you know, I could, you know, like, oh, you may have to show me your craft. Like, I wonder if there was ever a scene like that that happened that we're not getting. Because it is just so random that like, Ellie just walks into the crew mess.

It's like, I would like to give you a massage now. And he's like, um, okay. I wouldn't be surprised if the scene we hadn't seen Mr. saying, I give good massage, you want massage? Would tell me when you want massage. One day you're going to get massage. Yeah, kind of like last week when she was like, what's our favorite cheesecake? Lemon meringue.

Oh, I keep that in back pocket. Oh, then I sat down. I had lemon meringue on my ass. So I think that's just one of her tricks. Yeah. So now she's massaging Jouau. I just like, oh, do you do lots of squats? He's like, no, I do lots of zim squats.

So Ellie's like, what is also you do dead leaves? He's like, no, but this, this, this feels amazing. Ha ha, Zim amazing. So, Daisy is like, if Jowowl did like me at all, this whole situation has hurt me off so much, which is funny because that's what I feel like the women on Blow Deck always say, including Jenna this season. And then they still, they still are like, yeah, I'm going to go after the guy, mainly because there's no options.

So I feel really bad. Yeah. But the, like, I hate that, like, I hate for the women of. below deck that they have that they make these public stances which i fully believe that they believe but that because of the situation they just there's so few options for them to get satisfaction that they just have to they just have to go back to these men who are awful to them i just don't like how they all it seems to be like standing around at a party when orders are being trapped past and you don't want to seem like a food addict so you're just waiting for them to come close to you

and just hoping that something good comes along and then just taking whatever comes. It's like I don't eat tuna tartar, but it's here. I'll take it, I guess. I mean, I don't know. And the guys, meanwhile,

are chasing around the waiters and eating everything off of the tray, you know, because it's like free. And like I get it. Like, you know, like how many times do I proclaim?

You know what? I've got to start eating healthier. I got to eat some lower cholesterol things. And the next thing you know, I'm like in my freezer eating ice cream. So like, a certain point, you just crumble to

temptation despite knowing what's good for you. Yeah. Yeah. So then Ellie's like, well, when is your birthday? And he's in five days. Oh, so this is your birthday massage. You're going to get another one later on, Mr.

Deadlift. It's like, I do not look out ever at all. He can't lie to me. So Jenna's like, But I don't think he likes that. I just think she's available to him and made that very clear from the start. Which, yeah, it's true.

And guys, you know, you guys have this reputation, but especially guys on this season. My God, it's like, whatever's there, take it. So Ellie finishes her massage, um, cleans up joie out with a towel, flushes some of the towels. And, uh, it's like, oh, thank you. But no, she didn't, she didn't. make a move. Yeah, she didn't, she didn't bang him. Yeah, she's like, I'm hoping we have a chance after party to you don't get to know each other a bit better. He's like, yes, well, I'm sure that we

Zim will. So, um, uh, now we cut to Daisy and Ellie in their cabin later and he's like, how did your massage go? Um, and she's like, it was really, really well. We had nice time. Because by the way, Daisy also knows that if she were to, uh, now go after Joao, after Ellie has been there, She's like, I'll get stopped in the face. So now we see a little bit later, Joao and Daisy, they're by the bar on the boat. And Joao is like, old good? She's like, yes, how are you? I'm feeling relaxed.

It's like, okay, that's great to hear. I'm sure you're feeling relaxed. It's a massage good? It was very good. You look lovely. You look lovely as well. She's like, thank you. Thank you.

You goddamn fuck. So now people are going out So they're going to the vans and stuff And Alicia is asking Jenna like, where's your helmet? Excuse me, miss, I didn't wear a helmet. Keep your helmet judgment to yourself. You're not allowed to ask. Exactly.

Alicia, I'm said it before. I'll say it again. Alicia really sucks this season. So now we, people are in their vans and everything. And Ben's decided he's not going to go out because well, because the situation with with Ellie, want to give a little bit of space. So he's going to stay back

with Jason and hang out. Yeah. So then, in one of the cars, Jenna, Ellie, Batole, and Alicia are in that car. And Jenna's like, how some massage? And Ellie says, awesome. They're like, did it go further? You didn't even kiss him. She's like, no, we're easing into it. Easing into it. I'm trying to get the deadlifts in his mind. So maybe starts working out a little bit.

Well, you kiss him tonight. She's like, maybe I'm open to it. And Alicia's like, I'm so for it. Kiss you out. Kiss you out. Kiss him. Kiss him. Which is what I always say to people before I try to make out with the person they like.

Yeah. Well, you know, it's the second coming of kizzy. So then we have Jason and Ben and they're making a cheeseboard together. They're also like wearing like, Jason's like in a kimono. He's like, oh, we'll get changed. And Ben's like, no, don't get changed. I'm going to match you. So he's like in his robe or whatever.

They're basically having like a Hugh Hefner moment on the boat. This is also kind of the beginning of a porn scene because Jason's robe is not a normal robe. I mean, he's on a Jason kimono, which is like he's hanging all out of that thing. It's like just me, you, man being man, man, making big steaks and all manly robes. I'm like, please put your nuts away. I'm trying to concentrate on the state. sir? I bet Jason thought he was getting something special that night because he's like, well, ship is staying in on me to get my own gourmet meal, but then Ben made Jason make the stakes.

So we go to the crew having dinner and Alicia is smoking and stuff. And she's like, should I move though? If I'm smoking it, it bothers you. And I'm like, no, it's all right. And I was like, yeah, fuck off. Just joking. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha he's like you're so funny joe out and he goes oh i love sarcasm thank you so they cling glasses is that sort of she starts like rubbing yes she starts like rubbing her beer bottle against his beer bottle she's like oh yeah yeah it's some flirt on with joow it's being it's flirty it's it's one of those things where where she could reasonably say i wasn't being flirty he's a friend of mon we're just being jockey.

But I think it landed on all of our radars as that feels flirty. And especially since she already, she already kind of went down this path with Eddie. Like, I think she used up all of her not flirting capital. So people are going to suspect the worst out of her because she already went down this path, whether she is being purely platonic or not.

Yeah. So she's like doing the rubby thing with the beer bottle. And then she says, tits, clits and everything in between. Come on, guys, we have to do it together. So they all clink together. So now Eddie is sitting next to Jenna. By the way, Alicia gets drunk every time really quickly, and this is when the flirting starts. It's like after a couple of drinks, you see her eyes change.

They get a little red, and then she's like a little flirt monster. Yeah. So Eddie is just asking Jenna what her parents were like, I don't know. My parents are really traditional. They were like preschool children past us. so we always got up in Sunday school. And they started talking about how they went to church. Like, well, I went to church.

I went to church. I went to church a lot. I went to church a lot. And that's like, they, they like connect over that. And she's like, oh, as Christians. How do I know, we bought up with similar laws of values, laudity and honesty of forgiveness, as opposed to all of us non-Christians who were told,

never be loyal, never be honest, and never forgive. Yeah, I remember one time, I said, I was like, church is stupid. I don't want to go. And my meme, I was like, you better go. That's where we learn morals. And I was like, well, what do you mean? Other people have morals? You go, oh, really? Without the Bible, how are you going to know not to murder people? I was like, well, I would hope we would be able to come to that ourselves. But, I don't know.

Auntie, Ronnie, can you teach me about loyalty? I don't know what that means. I'm Jewish. Only is Moses taught it. All right. Now, have a seat, young man. So Eddie, she's like, And he's working on Latin, honesty. Ben, I'm working on forgiveness. So then we cut to Jason and Ben cooking together. And Ben's like, oh, I'm so glad to be spending the evening with Jason, you know. This charter's been riddled with animosity for me. And I'm really up against it. This is what I need right now.

He's like a very tall master Yoda. I need more friends like this at the end of the day, you know. Finally, a man who doesn't mind me calling him licorice lobes. Captain Jason's like, geez, I hope there's the last time the bin stays over on the dick. God, what a drag. Smells like cigarettes and bees all night long. Couldn't even get to Miami Amiens. So the crew's still at dinner and Joao is talking to Daisy now.

He's like, I love you being the bad cup because I look so great, especially to Mike. Mike is so, you know, she's like, I know. She's like, am I the bad cop? And Alicia's like, yeah, Jenna's the bad cop. It's like, no, I'm trying to make her softer. I'm like, don't go in too hard on the juniors. And then Alicia's like, I don't like being called a junior because I earned my metaphorical stripes.

She was like, Yaron Stripe, Delicia. Your metaphor, by way, your metaphorical stripes, guess what? They are not on your shoulder. Okay, we need the physical stripes before you say you earned anything. Yeah, your one stripe. So Alicia's all offended. And she's like, I'm doing a lot to take a beast

from someone else being younger and in charge, you know? Daisy is like, I know it's not easy, but she deserves that you've done nothing with your life. I love Daisy. Just be like, you're one drop. Like, don't even try to pull this metaphorical stripe. You've literally, at least you have's literally not even earned half of a metaphorical stripe. I'm sorry. She is fucking up left and right.

Is she better than Mike? Yes. But that doesn't mean that she therefore has earned like a second stripe by any means. It's crazy that she would even think that. Yeah. She's like strep. She's one strep. Yeah, Daisy is really good this episode of just calling everybody out.

I love it. I love it because later she does it with Ellie too. And it was glorious. So they leave dinner. They go to the next spot and order drinks and start dancing and stuff. And Eddie's dancing with Jenna. And he's like, your boobs look good. I learned that youth group.

And then Alicia pulls him away. And she's like, oh, I need to talk to you. So she pulls him from Jenna. And she's like, you better, she's like, you better shake your ass bitch and starts twerking all over him. God, the white girl's work. Yeah. I can't. I know.

It's rough. And they're both dancing. They're like just too floppy pieces of seaweed in the current. And it's like sexy dancing, you know, it's like she's twerking up against his dick and stuff. And Jenna's like, oh my God, it's after sad. Yeah, it's, um, if, if like, even if she's thinking, well, he's my friend, we're just having goofy dancing, especially with Eddie where you have like a text message history. It's a little like, hmm.

And especially like if you've just had this whole conversation with your boyfriend and been like, I maybe crossed the line. I'm not going to do it again. I just don't think I would even really try to dance in a suggestive way. And I'm not coming from a prudish place. I just think that like, like, you can't like call your boyfriend and be like, oh, sorry. And then like you go back and you do it again. And then on top of the fact that you were just encouraging.

Jenna to kiss Eddie. If you really want Jenna to kiss Eddie, you're not, you're just not going to do anything that could be misconstrued as like a distraction. You're going to want your girlfriend to have as much time with the guy that you wanted to kiss with. Right. You're not going to like, you're not going to cut in at all. You're putting too much thought into this. Alician knows exactly what she's doing. She walked right up to Jenna and Eddie while they were dancing and pulled him away. And it was like, calm to me and started twerking on his dick. I mean, she's being ridiculous. She's so, she's so transparent in what she's doing. And she's doing it on price.

It's like she has to win every guy on the boat and have everybody be attracted to her. You know, and it's sad. Yeah. But sad. But also, what's sad is that guys are such idiots. And they do it every time. It's like they fall for it every fucking time. And that's why there are such things as honeypots.

Because men are stupid. You can bring down the most powerful man in the world by rubbing your vagina up against him. I would actually push back and say, it's not the thing. fall for it is that they are just so passive and they're just so happy to get like female attention that they just go along with it because they don't think about consequences and they also know that the girls are probably going to come back to them anyway and I think that's what's really so infuriating like we talk about like well the girl it sucks for the girls because they get disrespected but they also you know they have needs as well and so they have to sort of go back to these guys

but it's just so annoying that the guys know that they have they're in that position and so they're like whatever i'll do this with elicia even though i'm trying to show that i really like jena who cares i know that i she'll probably come back to me so i'm just gonna do this i just hate that yeah so jena's annoyed so she walks away and she's telling daisy she's frustrated with eddie and then back to alicia um and jena um alicia's like um why are you trying to fuck with joe why you you trying to fuck with Jenna Eddie? Oh no, this is Alicia and Eddie. She's like, why are you trying to fuck with Jenna Eddie? And he's like, well, I just like her. And she goes, no, you don't. You don't. So here, Alicia, gross. Up to this point, Alicia

could still try to say, like, I was just dancing with him as a friend. But you cannot be sitting there in that van and telling Jenna to kiss Eddie. And then you're telling Eddie, you don't like, you don't like Jenna. I'm like, you are a bad friend. Sorry. She's not even a snake.

Yeah. She's a snake. So Jenna's like, well, I don't know we're talking their time. We're trying ourselves. And now Alicia's been talking to him. And he's like, I'm sorry. I've noticed this.

And it is not right. It is not right. So back to Alicia. She's like, you need someone else other than her. And he's like, what if I like someone? I go full in. And she's like, it'll never work. It'll never work.

So then, yeah, they're watching. And Jenna's like, is it just for attention? She's like, he started that dinner. Because if you notice with Joal, he moved over, she moved over to Eddie. Because, by the way, Ellie, when Alicia and Joao were, like, rubbing beer bottles together, Ellie was watching, like, oh, that's interesting because he was about to rub beer bottles with me. Like, that was her look, like. Oh, so now she is trying to give massage with beer bottle?

Oh, nice way, honey. So she is not liking Alicia. right now. And Alicia is telling Eddie, it's you and me against the world. I'm like, what are you talking about? You are so privileged. The world is not against you. So Jenna is like, well, it's whoever she finds most of Apple at the time. It's like, Alicia seems to have obsession with getting male attention. You know, like she there's, you're not wrong, but you're also Ellie. So I know, there's pick me in and there's Alicia, pick me see ya. Anyway, who wants massage? Who wants massage? Yeah, don't throw oil when you live in a massage table house.

You know what I mean, Ellie? But you're right. You're right. But you're awful. Don't throw aromatherapy jars when you live in a massage envy house. But I just don't understand where the backstabin comes from. She's like, pick me, pick me. Like, yeah, but you have a boyfriend.

Whatever. Let's go play without them. So now Jo-Wao is dancing with Ellie And Mike walks by And he's like, Dwawah, it has to be you, brother Has to be you You've got it in the bag Get that kissing, get it in

You've got the deer, you've got it I'm just going to stand here and jerk off Will you do it? Kiss her, kiss her good, kiss a mere gun I know, but I like Daisy Oh my God, did I just tell the most gossipy person On the boat and I hope it does not get back to Daisy That would be absolutely terrible Ah!

Oh, Dwaro! What, who'd you like? You can't play it with Sir. and have your hand on three different colors. Like, come on. Actually, yes, you can. That's how you play Twister. You have your hands on different colors,

your feet on different colors. Mike, clearly, you're such a creep that no one will even play Twister with you. I know. Take the hand. I hate Twister. I hate Twister so much. I don't want to play a game where I have to like,

like, like I can barely fucking touch my toes. I drop something and I have learned to pick it up with my feet because that's how bad I am at bending down. Okay, I'm not playing Twister. It just takes up so much floor space Twister is getting out of bed Yeah So God I've not played Twister in years

Geez I'm like maybe I should play that again That's kind of a fun game I take it back I'm so sorry Twister Commissions Here comes one right now So Jenna and Eddie are talking And Eddie is like You annoyed at me now

She's like yeah I'm just like but what have I done Oh God please just throw this guy overboard She's like, what do you mean? What have you done? I haven't even danced with you. Which I like that. It feels like very much like middle school. Like, I haven't even danced with you. But the truth is she has a legitimate complaint here.

Oh, my God. It's children. So he's like, can we go outside and talk? He's like, no. So now they're all leaving. The girls go in one car and the boys go in another car, of course, with Alicia. So, Eddie's like, guys, I'm in this shit again.

And Jenna's crying with the girls. I just don't want to be in a competition with any of my girls. I want my pussy. I don't even have to feel emotional over such an average man. The fucking idiot. He has a mollat. He has a mollat. You know, like, Jenna's story is actually low-key,

one of the saddest of the season because she came on this boat being like, I just want to be up on the deck and, like, meet a rich guy who's going to, like, you know, want to take me and bring me to Paris and I'm going to live the high life. Like she came on to this boat thinking she was going to find her JFK Jr. And be like plucked out of obscurity and like be brought into the high life and be like improve her station in life. And now here she is just hoping to get a shred of attention from a lowly deckhand who like sometimes pays attention to her. And it's just. And Ben.

She's like, you know, flirted with Ben too. And it's like, there's your dream. That's your, that's your plan to like move up. up is a drunk, you know, rosatia, you know, bleary, bloated bin. Like, come on. And then she can't even get either one of them. And it's sad. It's like, what kind of world is this when you're dropped dead?

I mean, drop dead gorgeous and funny. And this is what you're dealing with? Like, what's the point? Yeah. I'll just stay mediocre. Like, what's even the point? So Alicia pulls Joao aside. So, okay.

So, Joal, they get back to the boat, and Joal is kind of walking with Ellie, and Ellie thinks she's about to pounce on Joow and make babies, basically. So she's ready, and we can see she's ready. So they're walking, and then Alicia sees this, so she pulls Joow away. And she's like, Chowal, you and I need to have a conversation. Yeah, come over here. And he's like, what? And now he's like, come on, come over here. So she keeps him on the dock.

Yeah, and she's like, well, you and I, we have a lot, we have, we have to have a conversation. Because I generally thought, unless, just give me two seconds. I need to ask a very quick question. Okay, are you, are you trying to pull tonight? He's like, ooh, Ellie. It's like, is that what you want to ask? Because if you're not interested, I just want to know what's going on. And he's like, well, so you put me here to talk about that?

Well, she came out of the taxi and saw us having a chat and was disappointed. I'm like, what are you trying to ask about? Are you saying that you're interested? Are you trying to find out for. Daisy. I didn't understand what her endgame was except to kind of just cock block. Yeah, or flirt or make him think that she likes him or something because she's like, yeah, I mean, look, she's mad that I'm talking to you. So obviously something's going on. Or like, do you like me, whatever? She's ridiculous. So Eddie goes through the boat and he's like,

I don't know what I've done wrong. And then he goes to his cabin and starts crying on the, shut up, Eddie. You don't know what you got. You're going to fucking cry now. Give me a break. It's like I'm awful of bit of fun banter But when you start hurting people's feelings That's not fun anymore And that's not fun for anyone And seeing Jenna Who I care about upset

That just makes me feel like a dick Because you are a dick You know what's not fun for anyone Us watching this How many times have you done the same thing now Cut the shit Yeah Oh my God

So Now he's crying And then Ellie Ellie walks out to the deck To check Because she's mad You know She's like

What is this Alicia do? with my man. So she's like looking over the side and she's like, are they still having chats? What's it happening? So then we go back to Alicia and she's like, you and your fucking, you and fucking what's her face. I mean, let's talk about it. He goes, fucking what's her face is not really the most appropriate thing to say. She's like, you and Ellie then. He's like, I'm tired. Let's go in. Come on. Let's go. And now he's like, fucking ridiculous. This is fucking ridiculous. I'm going back. So she just goes inside all pissed. Yeah. And then she texts you out. I hope you and Alicia had great time tonight.

So he's like, yeah, oh, sorry, it was weird. Let's talk tomorrow. And he is more than happy, by the way. He's more than happy to send that message to Ellie that is not that interested in her. I mean, that's, I think, also why he engaged with her so long. Because if Joie was really interested in Ellie, I guarantee he would have been like, I can't talk right now, Alicia. He would have gone after Ellie.

We've seen this a million times before. It's not his first time on the show. So he was more than happy to have, you know, Alicia to sort of talk to and hide away from Ellie about. But so when he says, let's talk tomorrow, I'm assuming he's going to basically tell Ellie, yeah. So just, you know, I really appreciate the massage and everything. I think you're a great girl. I'm just not feeling it. But like, of course, why would I ever think that Joie would do the mature thing?

Yeah, never. So now it's the next morning, 5.11 a.m. And Eddie is texting Jenna. And he's like, are you okay? I went to bed crying last night. Oh, fuck off, man. So she writes back, can we talk? So she goes to his room and lays in bed and they start cuddling.

It's like, you're such a magic. It's okay, but control again. I'm so disappointed in this. She just goes right back in there. I definitely do have a weak spot for Eddie, but I do feel like Eddie is manipulated by Alicia. And if she was taken out of the equation, he would be acting a lot differently.

So, yeah, I'm happy. I'm like, no, don't, like, don't give him that pass. He's being manipulated by Alicia. No, no, no. Alicia's being shitty in the situation, but he's being shitty of his own will as well. Yeah, and there's going to be a lot of Elysias in the world. I mean, not for Eddie, probably. He's pretty mid.

But in general, like, there are a lot of Elysias in the world. There's always going to be someone there to, like, try something. You need to be with someone who is not going to just jump on anything that gives him the chance. That's the whole point. Like, it doesn't matter that Elysia sucks. Like, have some more brains, Jenna, for fucks. So now at 7 and Mike and Eddie are in the cabin and Mike's sitting and taking a poo basically and opens the door to start talking to. Don't he's just so gross.

Like everything about this fucking guy is just disgusting. I don't need your poop particles floating out at me, sir. You're gross enough as it is. I'm dealing with their aquanette particles. Now I've got to get your poop particles in my lungs close a fucking door. I can only imagine who are the sad souls who are subscribed to his only fans. So he said, Eddie, guess what I need to tell you? Jois said to me last night, I like Daisy.

I went, what? Where's that coming from? Okay. And he's like, that's like it. He's like, I'm opening the door to let Eddie know that Jowal likes Daisy. So Ellie is putting away the massage table from last night. And she runs into Alicia in the hall. And Alicia's like, hi, Ellie, you okay?

She's like, I'm okay. Thanks, Alicia. I appreciate it. He's like, what's up, darling? Have I done something to upset you? She goes, oh, a little bit. I just felt like your behavior. yesterday, you were in the van hyping me up about Chihuahue.

And then you be light for him yesterday last night. She's like, but I was just chatting with him. Like, okay, that's awesome. And you just keep doing that. You're so disaffected to the girls. You're so inconsiderate to everybody outside of yourself. You're the only person you think of is yourself. You have no consideration for anybody else.

You're just awful. And if you are selling vegetables at the street, I would not buy them for you. And you will have no milk tonight. Your potato. You're plentiful, but no one wants to eat you anymore. So Ellie walks away and she's like, Alicia, not girl's girl. She literally ruined everyone's night last night and somebody has to say something. So Mike has overheard this.

You just see Mike stalking in a doorway like over-listening to this, like listening to this whole argument. And finally he comes out of hiding. And he's like, what just happened? She says, I was just chatted to Joao after we go out the taxi. Yeah, about Ellie trying to start shit, Alicia. come on and he's like that was that joie joie jah came to me and said i don't like ellie i like daisy what about that what about that i don't happen because i remember jerking off to it the whole time it came okay actually she can go fuck herself if they were really going to have a thing they would

have already had a thing by now which was not into her she's made an enemy now like oh wow made an enemy i'm like alicia you know what like if you think that you are the scary one here because you're now in enemy status. I just want to say, like, good luck. Good luck against Ellie. Because Ellie, Ellie brought Ben down, okay? Like, she destroyed Ben, and no one in the history below Doc has ever been able to do it the way Ellie has.

So I would be more concerned for you than for Ellie in this case. Yeah. So Alicia's cleaning cabins and Jenna comes in. She's like, I've gone, okay? She's like, well, like, Ellie just came in and had to go at me. she said, you're not a girl's girl, and all you do is think about yourself, and I'm just like, go fuck yourself. She's, well, basically, I felt the same way as Elody. Like, when you take Eddie aside and chat with him for so long, I was a little bit jealous.

I kind of cut myself off from Eddie last night, and that's why I went to him this morning. So, you know, I kind of feel, I said, I kind of feel bad how we left off. She's like, oh, well, I'm sorry if I made you feel a certain way. She goes, well, it's obviously just jealousy's a bitch, and jealousy makes you nasty. She leaves and Elisea is like, what the hell? I feel like Jenna was, well, when she was saying jealousy is a bitch, was she saying Alicia was jealous or was she, I probably was making it about herself. She was making about herself. But I think by continuing and saying, yeah, jealousy really makes you a bit.

She was kind of talking to Alicia, you know. It's like trying to have a conversation with somebody where you don't want to be too confrontational. Yeah. So, uh, that's like, all right, Daisy, ban and Joel. come to my kimono room for preferring sheet meeting we've got twinks on the way get in here so uh he's like all right charter synco that means three that means five okay five it is this is tyler he's a socialite from new york city uh with the face of brannwin newport but the hair of west from summerhouse how about that somehow this guy looks like a person from a jane austin drummer

and also a person from downtown abbey probably playing a school roommate somehow he's very wealthy so we go to manhattan busy busy there's traffic in manhattan so many taxi cabs and so the producer asks this tyler guy who's been on the show before right i love that this guy is just like rich as hell because he fucks some old dude and then spends his money to go on blow deck and get on tv it's so funny I did, I did not, I mean, like, it's weird because he's so sort of generic twink looking that if he had been on the show before, I would not have known. I, like, I, I definitely did not pick up on that, but he probably has been. So he's here and he's bringing this like little blazer that has like some sort of like, it looks like golden bird shit on his shoulders. And he's like, um, so yes, hi, I'm Tyler.

And they're like, how does a 28 year old afford a charter to charter super yacht? And he goes, um, what's a budget, honey? I don't budget. I just spend. My partner is a very successful businessman and incredibly private. So he just said, I'm going to sign the check, send you away for a while, and bring your friends and have a good time. I'm like, sweetie, that means that you're annoying as fuck. And he's just in it for the sex.

And he can't bear to talk with you during the daytime hour. So he's putting you on a boat to get you out of his hair. And he's probably cheating on you. So he has a best friend, Brian, who's also his dermatologist. And he comes out in high heels. And he's like, oh my God, Tyler is the most over-the-top person you will ever meet. Then we come back to present days. He's like, Tyler's been keeping a surprise under wraps for his guests.

He's flying in his go-to-glam technician to get him ready for a drag night on board. Oh, wow. I bet the guests are going to love that. Wow. He's doing drag for us again. And now we're on a boat and can't walk to a separate section of the bar. The most important part for Tyler is that the other guest, not see his glam get dropped off onto the yacht.

Surprise, glam. We must have discreet glam delivery. I feel like when... I feel like when Tyler gets into drag, he's going to look like Ivanka Trump. I swear to God. I was like... That's such a good call.

I was like, we know which way this is going. He already dresses like a Trump hotel. He does. He really does. He's wearing like big diamond, you know, clusters on his shoulders and stuff. Tyler's going to be joined by Nick Ashley, Mitchell, Brian, Spencer, Devon, and Luigi.

And good luck telling them all apart. They're all going to wear beige and they're all going to look exactly the same. Watch out. We're all going to have very on sheets by the time this is done. This is a very spray-tanned group. The whole boat's going to smell like now. All right. So Brian is like, we've become accustomed to Tyler and his partner covering the bill for a lot of things,

which I'm grateful for. But I realize that's outside the realm of normal for most people. and by the way, poor Tyler, I actually feel bad for Tyler knowing that when his boyfriend dumps him, how his friends are just going to leave him in a heartbeat, knowing that the boyfriend is basically funding all of their coke and ketamine

and, you know, bottles of champagne. Yeah, well, you get them the same, you lose them the same way you get him, get them with money, lose them with money. So, or lack of. So Tyler's like, well, you pay me back in cosmetic procedures. It evens out in the wash.

You know how much Botox? is running through my face right now. Joan Rivers is a turning in her grave. So Jason's like, so he's a foodie. I'm like, why I do? He's not a foodie. He's not a foodie. He's as thick as a fingernail.

This is not a foodie here. I'm telling you that right now. It's like, so we're going to be busy. We've got a lot going on. What the primary wants, the primary gets. So now we got to Daisy and Jenna and the guest. room and Jenna's folding towers and Jenna's like, by the way, I thought this was done and Lisa hasn't done it. So Ellie went in and talked to her and basically said, I don't appreciate

your pulling dry. And she was playing with fire. He's like, oh, well, I do think Lisa in my opinion is jealous. It's like, yeah, she's in the drama of relationships. She's not even in a fucking relationship. So clean, clean, clean. And everybody's done for the day. So Ellie's like brushing her teeth and this is really a long brush teeth brushing moment where she's just like but I was like why is this why are they focusing so hard on Ellie brushing her teeth? Oh, it's because she's going to go try and bang Joao now. So she finishes and then she goes in and she's like, hello, I miss him.

And he's on the bottom bunk and she takes off her shoes and just gets right in bed. And he's like, oh, how are you doing anything interesting? She's like, oh, well, I told Alicia off. That's about it. I just didn't know what was going on. And he puts his arms around her and they're like flirting. Oh, he's so gross. This is not a guy.

It's just so funny because he's like, well, I'm not really into her. But meanwhile, she knocks on his door and he stays there in bed and like tucked in the bed. So like, I think if you're not interested in someone and they come into your room, I think if you're, I should say, if you're a guy and a girl comes into your room and you know that she's interested in you and you're not interested in her, are you going to stay in that bed necessarily? I think I'm going to sort of move, again, to like a more platonic stance. I'm like, he's interested.

He's going to take whatever is there. He's going to take whatever he gets. I'm just going to bed and he like put this arm around her. Oh my God. Like he's full bullshit. And like it's full bullshit one or two ways. He's lying to us by saying he likes Daisy or he's lying to Ellie right now, which he is.

And he's blatantly like, well, I'm not interested in her. But if she wants to make out with me, I will, I will make out with her because I'm horny. I think he looks at Daisy is not a sure bet. So he's going to take the sure bet. So he's like, well, if you were worried, why didn't you come and find out what's going on? Because, Joelle, like, they're not supposed to, like, fight over you. Like, you're supposed to.

Oh, my God. And he's like, sorry, I got distracted. I had lost track. It's okay. Thank you for apologizing. Oh, birthday massage back on. Okay. Thank you for being so respectful.

I really appreciate it. And they kiss. And he's like, like, well, honestly, I've had quite a day. Quite a day. She goes, well, I'll let you do it then. So, um, to while I was like, oh, my God, fucking fuck, fuck. How do I put myself in this kind of situation over and over? Like, I just know, I'm not supposed to be in like this situation, but what chance did I have? Yeah, this is the classic thing. Wow. How do I find

myself in these situations over? Like, this is what they all say. And then it's like, I was, I mean, I was literally cornered in my own. head, my own bed. She made me, she made me cuddle her, but I couldn't, I had nowhere to rub my hands except against her stomach. You welcomed her into your room and you didn't get out of your bed when she came in. Like, there were, there were some off ramps here. He's like, I'm like, I'm like, what a fucking dickhead, what a cowardice dickhead. Ha ha ha ha ha, Zimlaf. So now everyone goes to bed and Daisy and Ellie are in their cabin and Ellie's like, you have a little cuddle in cabin. Oh, that's cute. And I'm going to bake her my

cake for his birthday. Oh, who saw that's coming? The next morning, Eddie and Jenna are on the deck, and Eddie's like, I had such a nice time. She's like, I had such a nice time to her. He goes, I told my mom this morning. God. Okay, you're moving a little fast there. She's like, did you? What did your mom say? Oh, she was excited for me. Oh, that's a care. That's secure. I'm trying to say in Jesus' name. And Jason's like, all crew, all crew, get into your eyes. Time to meet in the main salon because the guests will be arriving, stand up.

Or wait a second, instead of guests, do you know what I'm seeing on the horizon there, Ronnie? Fish report, fish report. Now it's time for a fish report. Now, we've seen this stingray about nine million times. The only reason I'm putting it in here today is because it's. It's the stingray who is now in the same shot as the turtle and the starfish. Now, this turtle has been staying hanging out with the starfish trying to get attention. The starfish has been ignoring it.

And now the stingray has come into the scene. Very Alicia coded. It's like, Lisa's like, hello stingray. And the turtle's like, get out of here. Shoe. That's my man. The turtle is Alicia. Like, you better watch out.

I mean, the turtle is Ellie. It's like, you better stay away from my man. I know what you're about to do. I know. They're very unprofessional. Get away from starfish. And the stingray's like, but I wore my best feather in my hair. I'm going to Coachella.

I'm going to Stingray Coachella after this. Okay. Now we go to this fish, which we've also seen. This is like a, well, have we seen this one? Well, I would know. I feel like we've seen versions of this fish. So the fish that we're seeing on screen here today has the face of the stupid fish. Like there's one fish that's very dumb.

pops up every few, like, almost every week. And you're like, oh, my God, what a dumb fish. But it has the body of the pretty fish. That fish is a 10 head. And this fish is not a 10 head. Right. But like this one has like like the hot girl body, right? Like like all those like those lines are like very beautiful.

Beautiful. All beautiful. But has the stupid, has the stupid guy face. Yes. You know, what's going on? And so I don't feel like we've seen this hybrid before of stupid, stupid guy face, but hot girl body. It's like Milton Burrell in the front.

and, you know, May West in the back. And also, this fish is fascinating because look at these eyes move. Isn't this creepy? It has human eyes, which I've never seen on the fish.

It has big white eyes with a blue iris and black pupils, like a human. And it rolls its eyes. It's like doll hair. It's like Chuckie cheese eyes. Do you remember those animatronic Chuckie cheese eyes?

And look, it looks right into the camera. It's like what? It is a stupid fish. It's a stupid fish because it thinks it's part of the school of other fish. And it's like,

not part of these fish. Like, why do you think you're part of their school? This is not your group. I don't even think it cares because, look, it's rolling its eyes. It's like, whatever. Stupid fish. Everybody's stupid except me. I feel like it looks like embarrassed.

Like, oh my God, I just realized I'm in the wrong school right now. The bus dropped me off at the wrong place. Oh, my God. Mom. God, I wish mom would let me have a cell phone so I could call her to pick me off. This is so embarrassing. I think I left my homework at home. Oh, my God.

Or it's a jack's fish. She's had too much coke. Oh, the hat. Yeah. It's like, I'm fine. I'm sober. I'm totally sober. I'm totally fine.

What, what, what, what. Okay, so this next fish, God, those eyes really are creepy, though. So this next fish, this is, this is the Cheetah Rivera of fish. I'm only bringing up stars from a really long time ago that no one will understand. But yes, Cheetah. This one, yeah, she is. She's like, she's like, well, I just got offstage doing Kiss of the Spider-Woman and I'm about to go to Sardis for a late-night snack.

And no photos, please. No photos. No photos. I'm off the... I'm off of... I will be wearing zebra print again. And who's gonna fucking stop me? This is, I believe, is this a lionfish? And it's either a lionfish or a zebra fish.

I always get them confused. But this one is a very stripy fish with all these fins going in fabulous different directions. If you ever saw the naked gun, this is like the fish that Leslie Nielsen gets stuck on his finger and then his nose. And not only is this one fabulous in terms of all of its pizzazz, but the fact that it's also hot pink, or at least there's a hot pink light on it, whatever's happening, it's either found its light or it is its light.

It's like fabulous. It is like, The Spider-Man with her velvet cape. And I'm fast-forwarding through this one because they show it again, and I want to show, oh, wait, did I cut it out? They show this. Oh, this is a different fish. I think it's the same type of, oh.

Is it? Maybe not. It's also another fabulous fish. It's like another showgirl fish with like big hair and like, you know, tool and like fins everywhere. Fabulous fish. And it's kind of like the Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski of fishes. Yes. This is like a duo of extravagance.

This is a fish on fish violence. We see these like this kind of cute fish with stripes and this other fish that's a matching fish comes and this like bongs into it like with its mouth. Do you think it's kissing it or do you think it's threat? It was a total kiss. It was so sweet. I was like, oh, I went back and watched this like five times. Really? By way, can we just acknowledge this crab?

This crab is hilarious right before the kiss. But this kiss is so horrible because it's one of those people like you're kissing them with your mouth closed, but then their mouth is open over your mouth. But it's so excited to see its partner. I love it. It's like it just got home. It's like, hi. But this partner's cheating, though. This other partner's cheating.

It's like, oh, okay, hi, hi. Yeah, I was at work. Now I'm at home. It happens every day, honey. Wait, you didn't open your mouth when we kissed. Hi, I brought a pebble in my mouth for you. I was like, I don't want the pebble. But you always like the pebble.

Why do you taste like an awesome blossom? Were you somewhere without me after work? Did you go to Applebee's without me or is that outback? I don't really remember, but I am pissed. I'll be back in the bedroom. I'm going back to. the bedroom. By the way, the precision of that first, like, these

fish are narrow and to be able to come up and kiss right on these, there's like a tiny, tiny target to get lip on lip. It's cute. You know, I love that. And look how he instantly gets a boner. He's like, his friend just went straight out. It's like, I actually almost think the first, the kissing fish, the one that comes in

realizes after the kiss, oh my God, I just kissed the wrong person. Oh, God. Why do we all look the same? I'm sorry. I thought you were my boyfriend. Hi. Oh, you're not, you're not him, are you? Okay, I'll just be up here. I'll just be in the back. My bad, my bad.

All right, so let's look at this crab. This crab, we've seen before. This is a hairy red crab hanging out on a hairy, red and green rock. It's kind of matching the rock. The reason I really like this is because look at the, look at the lips of the crab. You're like, this crab is so sick of being filmed. It's just going to like this. also I like how it uses the bit of coral to hide its trouble areas for the camera. It's like, oh, hi, I'm just here behind this rock.

Don't mind me. I'm still in shape. Yeah, shoot that again, but do it. I'm going to be on the rock this time. Okay. It's like, why doesn't anyone come and kiss me? Just waiting for another crap to come up and kiss it behind its rock. It's literally hugging your rock going like,

It's very pervy. Take a bath. So then we see, I just, this is like a Georgia O'Keefe painting in the ocean. It's like this big flower with all of this stuff coming out of it. I think Georgia O'Keefe is trying to tell someone in the ocean that it's time to start seeing like a groomer or a Brazilian waxer or something.

This is a very sexual. and I think it's an anemine, anemnon, anemnon, anemone. Anemone. It's very sexual. It's like ready. Love is in the air. This coral. Love is in the water.

Yeah. Georgia O'Reaf. Okay. And then we go to. That was an amazing pun, Ronnie. You liked it? Yeah. Let me go to this one.

This is like a stickfish, but it's, it looks like the shape of a dragon upside down. and it's got hundreds of legs but it's also got legs all over its body. This is crazy looking. It looks like a seahorse and you know that its wife is like, I mean, I can't tell how many times I've told Sal he's got to get a haircut.

I just don't know why he lets it grow out so much. Look at it. He's trying to grow a goatee, but he just can't do it. It just grows so uneven. He looks crazy. He's like, but I run cold. This keeps me warm.

No, you're lazy, Sal. Sal, the second we got married, you just stopped putting in any effort. And I am sick of it. And also get that skin disease fix. He's like, what? You're always itching. Where the lotion I bought you? It's like flames all over his body.

Sal seems to be at some sort of like the modern art museum of the sea. Because he's like walking under an interesting light installation right now. He's like, oh, wow. I love this room. This is so thoughtful. I'm really thinking about things. because what is that? What is that fascinating,

multicolored shape above this seahorse? It's so cool. Whatever he's hanging out on top of, it's made with like tubes, tubes of rings. I mean, it looks like it's set from alien. Truly.

You know? Or it kind of looks like phone cords, old phone cords, that are curled. It's like, what's the name of the artist? Is it Chahooley? Chalooley? Chalooleuli?

It's like Chalooley, but it could also be Jeff Coons. It's like it's something that feels like it should be hanging from the ceiling. at an airport. It's gorgeous. Wow. It's gorgeous. Well, this was fine. Fish report. Fish report. That has been the fish report. The kissing fish

delighted me the most. Blah, blah, blah. That was pretty cute. It was cute. And it shows us how different we think because I was like, these fish are fighting. And you're like, no, it's cute. And they're making love. Well, also they showed those two kissing fish right after Jenna and Eddie kissed. And in fact, I'm not going to lie this morning because Dom fell asleep watching below deck this morning

I was like Dom there were these two fish that were kissing and I like went up and I found the scene and I was like look and I showed him the kissing fish then you just opened your mouth and kissed him like sucked his closed mouth. He was like what happened on below deck last night? I fell asleep I was like these two fish guests

and I'm not even joking. I literally that was like that was my takeaway. There are these two fish I got to show it to you. They cast. So, okay, so now everybody is lining up outside for the guest to come. And Ellie's standing right at the front of the line with Ben. And so Daisy's like, ah, Ellie, do you mind if Jenna stands in front of you? Because she's second still. And she's like, well, yeah.

Well, no, I'm saying she's standing in front of you. Please. That was it was an order wrapped in a request. Move, move your eyes. Thank you. I don't like how Daisy's addressing me. She's like commanding like, oh, I'm telling you to move down the line. Like, okay, you're not my head of department.

I'm like, yes, she is a command of you. She and she outranks you. Yeah. So, sorry. Yes. You're losing this one. Yeah. This is not the fun.

She's past. Don't go up against Daisy because Dave, like, here's the thing. Ellie has taken down Ben and Ellie is, she's a fierce competitor, but she will always lose to Daisy every single time. they no one no one definitely no one beats daisy she's the final boss she's the mario actually and everyone else is the bowser because she doesn't have like weird emotions about everything too you know she's just like very cut and dry like we've seen her get really emotional when she was dating uh gary and what's his buns but that's because they were both like putting her putting her

through the ringer or whatever but um like with work stuff she's just like No, you move the fuck where you're supposed to be. Thanks. Yeah. So now the gaze come down. And they're like, oh, my God, yes, mother I can. Yes. And come on to the boat.

And Ben is setting up his honey jar in the galley. And he's like, oh, so I've got an idea for the honey, the honey jar. I'll put in a, the honey pot, rather. I'll put in white beans, all right? That'll represent dollars. And every time I say, babe, honey, or. whatever, you can take out a bean and you can eat the bean. It reminds me of when I was child.

Daisy swats me in line with Jenna, by the way. He's like, I saw that. I don't really care. I don't give a shit what rank I am. It's all right with me. But now I think that like Ellie, I have a theory now that maybe Ellie still has some unresolved feelings of being disrespected by Ben, but she knows she can't. She needs to, like, get along with Ben.

So now she's just going to project them or deflect them onto other people. And now she is going to aim it towards this situation here. I think that no matter, I think we've learned from Ellie, that no matter what the situation, Ellie needs to feel like she is the boss and in control. Yes. And if she's not, and if people make her feel like she's not, she gets pissed. I think she's over the Ben thing. Really?

I think it's like straight up Daisy now. It's like, okay, well, Ben solved. But now I've got Alicia and now I've got this other chick that I'm going to go. And now, too, because she's going to go for Jenna and for Daisy now. So Daisy's giving a tour. But meanwhile, Ellie sees Jenna. And she goes, so, Jenna, did you ask to stand in the line in front of me? Is that where that came from?

And she's like, what? Yeah, because we are the same rank. And Jenna just goes, haza. Ha, ha. Zushif, is the same rank as seconds two. In fact, it's even higher. Maybe even higher than first two. Maybe even higher than chef.

And Jenna's like, before you can, we never really spoke about sous chef. We just thought about Gallaghan, and that's all we thought she was. And she's a great reminder that that is actually what Ellie's position is. Yes, you're not sous chef. He specifically took you aside and said, all right, you're not sous chef. So we need to come up with a different title for you that's not scullery made. Because I'm sure that that'll offend you.

you. So let's come up with something a little bit more respectable sounding, but you're also going to be the lady who does the dishes. So, yeah, that doesn't outrank anybody. And it's not even to diss that. It's not like that's a bad job, but stop trying to act so high andfalutin, babe. So Jenny goes, yeah, and what universe with the dishwasher rank above the second stair? You should have been at the end of the line, darling. I hope you packed a snack for your troubles. So good. So then Jenna asks Ben about some sort of barbecue and leaves. And Ellie goes, no, ever since she got swapped in line, now she's on a high horse. Like, I'm second as too, and you're just Gatleyhead. Like, she's not on a high horse. She came in here to ask a question about this barbecue, and then you came at her and she's like, settle down. You confronted her about that thing, and she stood up to you very nicely, actually.

And Ben goes, did she say Gally had? She said, yes. Well, Jenna actually does have a point. Like, theoretically, a galley hand, which is what she really is, would be a deal with me, okay? That would be a lesser rank. So I invented chef assistant. Like, did that improve her rank? No, she's still suez him.

He's very amused by this. She's like, I'm going to let karma take its course. She's like, yes, I like that. Karma has already taken its course. You're a galley hand. Yeah, exactly. So, uh, they're setting up dinner. This could be on the beach.

And Daisy's like, these guys have requested a lot, uh, lost at sea theme dinner in the beach, which is what I really wish I was at this point. And I have a love, hate relationship with this theme. I love the theme.

I think it's so fun, but I hate that we're going to the beach at night. So the guests are playing with water toys, having a great time going down the slide and everything. Woo! And then, uh, and, uh,

uh, I can't Meredith Maritmore. So Daisy and Alicia are setting up on the beach, and Daisy's like, well, I heard you have like a better drama with Allie the other night. And she's like, well, she came in and she was getting her massage stuff from the cabins. And she just turned around and was like, oh, you're not a girl's girl. You're really selfish. And all you do is think about yourself, you're a narcissist. You know, she has a way of taking things, even when they were already mad and twisting them, this girl.

Like, she can never really quote things right. And she was like, you're helping me up, you know, you were hoping me up in the taxi about Choir and then you had to pull him for a chat. I mean, well, I mean, I don't really know about the early and Jua thing. So I can't say something. It's like, no, mid-season slump. I'm just tired. She's like, but you need a love interest, which I love Alicia literally trying to produce her storyline.

You need a love interest. That's where we're 10 episodes into the season. You haven't had a love interest yet. What's America going to think? She's like, like, oh, who would be my love interest? interest. Bourgeois, lovely. Bourgeois with Ellie. Ellie would stab me in my sleep. It's like, oh, God, but you share a cabin. She's like, well, look, Ellie is not in my good books right now. So fuck it. I'm going to met. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Alicia. I'm just trying to imagine what

you'd be saying right now. What would you say? Well, I'd probably say the same thing, which is that Ellie is not in my good books right now. So fuck it. I'm going to meddle. Yeah. So she's like, I'll burn it to the ground. And if I can't get him, if I can't make him like me, I'll make him not like Ellie instead. But she really likes him. She's like, well, I heard through the Great Vine that he doesn't like her. He fancies you. It came from a man who was popping a squat and letting out a duke.

So I'm sure it was the truth. Don, don, don, don. And we cut to Ellie holding a knife in the galley like, and I thought for sure we'd get the mid-season trailer after that. I mean, maybe I watched the screener, so it wasn't attached to that. Maybe we did get to see it on. on the broadcast. Because I'm like, where's episode 10?

We haven't had our mid-season trailer yet. Maybe we did, and I just forgot. Either way, we'll see what happens with this romantic triangle. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

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